Categories > Original > Humor

Operation DD: The Utter Truth

by narwhalpuppy 0 reviews

A rewrite of the Paradise PD Season Two finale.

Category: Humor - Rating: R - Genres: Horror,Humor,Parody - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2020-12-15 - 10202 words - Complete

0Unrated
This version of Operation DD will have a happy ending. Instead of a cliffhanger that brought about too many unanswered questions. Fitz will remain the evil kingpin. (I think Fitz works better as a villain, but hey that's just me.) Thester will be revealed to be a lab technician, not a secretly heroic psychologist! Now lets get with it!



Paradise PD Presents



A Narwhal Puppy Production



Operation DD: The Utter Truth



The town of Paradise got nuked and turned into a giant deep dish pizza. All because the Paradise PD failed to stop two nukes that were coming. The nuke was Operation DD that was planned by the Kingpin himself, Gerald Fitzgerald. After showing an panoramic view of Paradise being turned into a giant pizza, a bell was heard. Stanley Hopson wakes up. For all the events that had happened in Operation DD had all been a dream. Gerald Fitzgerald skipped town when elected Mayor after beating Karen in a election for mayor, and was still hellbent on plotting to destroy Paradise.

Question is. Where was he?



Randall yelled at Stanley, "Dammit Stanley have you been paying attention?" Kevin shows concern, "Are you okay, Stanley?"



"I had the wildest dream." Stanley implies finding himself back at the Police Station.



Randall rolls his eyes, "Yeah well we got no time to hear about it."



"He seemed to have dozed off when we got back from Brickleberry." observes Dusty. "Yeah, and Karen finally sobered up!" Randall added.



Agreeing with Randall, Bullet adds, "Yeah, let us take a wacky guess here, Stanley. I can just hear you now. You're going to say, 'and you were there.' 'And you were there'. 'And you were there' Am I right?"



"No I dreamt that the whole town got blown up and turned into a giant pizza. Can someone please go out there and see if its true?" asked Stanley.



Gina gives Stanley the third degree, "No it isn't. Everything is still intact. Never take dreams seriously you old ass!"



Dusty suggested, "We should ask Stanley what he dreamed. I'd like to hear it."



Randall puts his foot down, "NO! We don't have time for that bullshit right now!"



"Yeah, Randall's right. I sure as shit don't want to know about Stanley's dream! If I want to hear about someone's dream, I'll just watch Inception." Bullet said.

The Paradise PD thought Fitz was still around.

"So, Dad, how are we going to stop Fitz from blowing up Paradise?" asks Kevin. "Good question!" said Gina. Randall exacts his plan. "Easy!" he says. Going to his computer, he pulls up the Dippin' Dots Building. "This is where Fitz and his cronies are hiding away." Randall pointed to the computer screen.

"How did you find that out?" asked Gina. " When I went snooping around that's how." Randall explains. "Bet you want one of us to go in there and arrest him so we can take back our town!" said Bullet.

"Yes, but only two of you will go in!" Randall says. "In my dream there was a song called 'Bad Guys Don't Have To Be Bad At Being Guys.'" Stanley tells them. "What did we just say you elderly twat waffle!?" Gina screamed in Stanley's face.

"Dad! Here's an idea. Let me go in!" Kevin volunteers. "That's exactly what I have intended to do!" Randall informs his son. "YES! Finally!" Kevin cheers. "Who else is going in with Kevin to the Dippin Dots Building. After all, you said you needed two people to go in." Dusty pondered.

"Since you opened your big fat fucking mouth, Dusty. You're going in with Kevin!" Randall tells them. Kevin and Dusty both high five each other. "Oh boy! This is going to be awesome!" Kevin said with an excited anticipation. "We'll be just Jake And The Fatman!" Dusty said with glee.

"NO! You two will not take on the personas of characters from a cancelled 1980s cop show. You will be just plain Kevin and Dusty!" Randall said.

"All right...." Dusty sighs. "Sue us for trying to have a little fun with it." Kevin scoffs. Kevin and Dusty both walk out of the Paradise PD Police precient and were on their way to Dippin Dots. "You think we better follow them?" asked Gina. "Guess we'll have to." Randall said. "It's not like I wanted to do anything with my day today. Like raid the evidence room..." Bullet bemoaned to himself.

Both Paradise PD Police Cars drive to the Dippin' Dots Building. Kevin's car was the first to arrive. Along with Dusty, Kevin and he were about to enter.

"When I get my hands on that son of a bitch Kingpin Fitz! I'm gonna body slam him!" Dusty vows. "Then I'll be the one to slap the cuffs on him!" Kevin implies. Bullet drove in the other Paradise PD Police Car and parked far away.

"If Dusty gets in trouble! I'll be the one who rushes to his rescue! Then I will have my hands all over his hot fat body!" Gina says. "Don't predict an event that's not going to happen yet, Gina!" Randall told her. Gina blows a raspberry and ignores Randall's remark. "In my dream Fitz was stuck in a place called Pussyland where he met the real Kingpin who was a fat white guy. And then, that Thester Carbomb fella was really a psychologist in his early 50's pretending to be bad the whole time......" Stanley still went on about his dream.

"SHUT UP STANLEY!" Bullet, Randall, and Gina screamed at him all together. "Thester Carbomb is NOT a shrink! He's a lab technician!" Bullet shouts. "Yeah, he has an affinity for the black community and is a Black Lives Matter supporter!" Randall yelled. "He's also Fitz's gay lover. He's not in his 50's. For your information, Thester Carbomb was born in 1987!" Gina said.

"Enough! We got the backgrounds of all the Legion of DOOOOOOM members. Now keep your shitty ass mouths shut and let's watch out for Kevin and Dusty!" Randall demands. Slowly entering inside the Dippin' Dots Building. Kevin and Dusty observe and scope out the place.

"Place is completely vacant....like that insane asylum from that movie Accepted with Justin Long." Kevin said. "Wonder where everybody is?" Dusty asks. "Maybe they're all hiding and waiting to ambush us." Kevin said. Coming up with nothing, Kevin and Dusty search the Dippin' Dots building from top to bottom. They find nothing. "Diddly squat." Dusty said. "What?" asks Kevin cluelessly.

"It's from Breakfast of Champions. Not real sure if it was a book or a movie." Dusty said. "Maybe both." Kevin inclines.

Although the Dippin Dots building seemed to be wiped clean, Kevin manages to find a tape recorder. "My gosh Dusty! Look at that!" Kevin says.

Both Dusty and Kevin run to the tape recorder. "What is that thing? Never seen anything like it before." Kevin said confused. "It's a tape recorder." Dusty answers. "First time I've seen one. How do you know what it is, anyway?" Kevin tells Dusty. "My momma used to use one on me to tape my tantrums." Dusty implies. "Like I needed to know that." Kevin rolls his eyes.

"Let's play it and see what it says." suggests Dusty. Pressing the PLAY button on the tape recorder. Kevin and Dusty both listen carefully. A voice that sounded like Paul Frees started to speak, "The war between the east and the west that is now in it's 326th year has at last come to an end. There's nothing left to fight with and few of us left to fight. The atmosphere has become so polluted with deadly germs that it could no longer be breathed. There's no place on his planet that is immune. The last surviving factory for the manufacturer of oxygen has been destroyed. Stockpiles are rapidly diminishing, and when they are gone......we must die...."

Kevin and Dusty shriek with fear. "HOLY SHIT! Did you hear that?! A war that lasts 326 fucking years?" Kevin gasped. "I know! Maybe that is Fitz's plan this whole time!" Dusty panicked. "Play some more." Kevin said. Pressing PLAY on the tape recorder again, the same voice speaks, but this time sounded like Paul Frees in a lower more creepier tone.

"My name is of no consequence. The important thing you should know is I am the last of whom remembers how each of us. Men and women. Made his own decision. Some chose to take refuge in the great caverns to find a new way of life far below the Earth's surface. The rest of us decided to take our chances in the sunlight. Small as those chances might be......."

Kevin and Dusty huddled together. Believing everything the Tape Recorder with the haunting voice had said and yet did not know what to make of it. "Sounds like Fitz is planning the End of the World!" Dusty yells. "Just like the Time Machine come true. In no time at all. Fitz and his Legion of DOOOOOM will probably become cannibalistic Morlocks and turn us into Eloi!" Kevin said.

"All we need to do is find this dude named 'Of No Consequence'!" Dusty panicked. "I got it! Fitz has that missile called Operation DD. That could be a nuke! The beginning of a nuclear war." Kevin observes. After a while, Kevin and Dusty both see a post it note on the side of the tape recorder that reads, "PLAY OTHER SIDE".

Dusty flips to the other side of the tape and says, "DUH! Oh gosh! How could we have been so stupid!" he laughed as he pressed the PLAY button. Then Fitz's voice began to speak.

"Operation DD! It does not stand for Deep Dish like in pizza. So get that shit out of your heads. What we plan to do with the town of Paradise. And it's silly ass police department is to flood the whole town. A flood worse than Katrina. With that, all the policemen will drown a watery terrible death. As soon as Paradise is finally destroyed. I shall tear down each and every building in the town and replace it with crack houses! Thus Paradise will become the Meth Capital of the Country! We'll use the floodings to make beachfront property! Today Paradise! Tomorrow The World!" Fitz's voice soon changes into evil cackling.

Pressing STOP on the tape recorder. Behind Kevin a rocketship with Dusty stuck to it began to emerge from the ground. Kevin says taking the tape recorder with him. "Okay, Dusty. This is all the evidence we need!" Dusty however, was too far up in the rocketship. "Uhhhh, Kevin? Little help here, please?" Dusty pleaded.

Kevin takes a gander at the rocketship that Dusty was stuck to. "AAAAAHHHH!!!! WHAT THE FUCK! Don't worry, Dusty! I'll get help!" "You better! I don't know how much longer this rocket will stay on the ground...." Dusty warns Kevin.

Running out of the Dippin Dots Building. Kevin tries to get help. Once Kevin exited, he was already too late. Dusty was going up in high speeds in the rocketship. Bullet, Gina, Stanley, and Randall could not believe their eyes. "Maybe Elon Musk is in town." Bullet jokes. "That's exactly what Operation DD looked like in my dream!" Stanley observes.

Ignoring Bullet's and Stanley's remarks, Randall, Stanley, Bullet, and Gina run out of the police car they were using and ran to Kevin. All of them heard Dusty's cries for help.

"KEVIN! KEVIN!! HHHHEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!" Dusty screams in fear. The rocketship looked like it was headed west until it disappeared into the sky. Gina was saddened by the fact that Dusty was probably dead.

"DUSTY! NO! Please, don't be dead......" Gina said with sadness.

"DAD! Dusty's in danger!" Kevin tells his father. "Yeah, we can see that! He's flying on a rocketship!" Bullet spat out.

Gina's sadness turns to anger, "If Dusty dies, you're going to hear it from me, Kevin! You fucking twat waffle!"

Stanley says, "Now this is the part where the town gets turned into a pizza." Kevin shows Randall the tape recorder. "But I got some evidence of Fitz The Kingpin's plan!"

Not caring, but more angered by Kevin's incompetence, Randall takes Kevin and shakes him senseless. "Dusty Marlowe has died and it's all your fault! What do you have to say for yourself!"

Kevin shakes nervously, "Uhhh, Houston We Have a Problem?"

Karen and Anton come running to the scene. "Guess what? I got my Mayor Job back!" Karen announced. "That is goot, ja! Fitz has left town!" Anton joins in.

Randall shouts, "What do you think this is Apollo 13 all of the sudden?" "What did you do this time, Kevin?" Karen said with annoyance.

"Dusty went up in a rocketship while we were infiltrating the Dippin Dots Building...." Kevin struggled to explain himself to his parents.



*



The rocketship Dusty was stuck to had landed. Once Dusty got off the rocketship, he was terrified of his new surroundings. "Wha..what..is this place? Did I die?" Dusty said with curiosity and fear at the same time. The rocketship had taken Dusty to what looked like a rain forest. Shuddering, Dusty calls out for somebody to hear him.

"RANDALL! GINA! STANLEY! BULLET! KEVIN! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS!" Dusty screams. "YOU CAN COME AND GET ME NOW!" Dusty screams again. "IF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE! IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

A cat comes to Dusty that looked like his long deceased cat Mr. Meowgi. He goes to pick it up. "Mr. Meowgi? Is that you? I must be in heaven! Maybe I died. Won't you believe it! You look just like how you did when you were alive! Your teeth are even straight! Did you miss me? I sure missed you!" Dusty says to the cat. The cat jumped out of Dusty's grasp and ran away.

"Ooooooh! Guess that wasn't him." Dusty says saddened that he was lost. Deciding to walk around some more Dusty was trying to figure out where he was.

"Holy cannoli. Man now I'm hungry. Nothing to eat around here!" Dusty whines as he walks around. "Geez, I don't think I'm in Paradise anymore." Dusty says to himself. Unbeknownst to Dusty, he was being watched. But who was it?

Dusty then begins to get an idea, "I know! If the movie The Wizard of Oz taught me anything. When I'm lost I'll just Follow The Yellow Brick Road!"

Skipping around and looking at the grass on the ground, Dusty gets an unrealistic expectation that he will find a Yellow Brick Road.

"Follow The Yellow Brick Road! Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" sang Dusty.

The skipping soon made Dusty out of breath and tired, he still had hope he will find a 'Yellow Brick Road.' Then he hears a voice. "Hey, you! Fatso!"

"You talking to me!" Dusty asked the voice that called him. "No I'm talking to Travis Brickle from Taxi Driver! Of course I'm talking to you!" the voice said gruffly.

"Okay. I'm willing to do try anything right about now. Hey, you wouldn't happen to be a Munchkin are you?" asked Dusty hopefully.

The gruff voice said, "Munchkins don't exist you dumbass. If you want to find your way to civilization you will do as I say."

"Well you win. Tell me what to do? More importantly? Where am I anyway? Vietnam?" Dusty asked the voice.

"Follow the sound of my voice and I will tell you." the gruff voice ordered Dusty. Deciding to follow the gruff voice, Dusty walks towards where the voice was talking to him. Before he knew it, Dusty fell into a bear trap.

"WWWWWWOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHH! Oh shit! Now I'm stuck!" Dusty cries.

Deep inside the bear trap, Dusty hears evil laughter thoughout. Above laughing at Dusty's expense were the Legion of DOOOOOM. Frank Flipperfist, his son Jerry. Marcos Narcos, Pat Robertson, Pedro Pooptooth, and the Russian Mobster all surrounded Dusty in the trap. "FFFFOOOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEDDDDD YYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!" said the gruff voice again.

"What's going on! What are you going to do to me?" Dusty screeches. The gruff voiced person had on a mask that looked like a Totem Pole, then he takes off the mask and it was Brett DeMarco.

"Stupid brainless fuckass! You fell for it! The oldest trick in the book!" Brett DeMarco laughs. "Which book? The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo?" Dusty asked in a stupefied manner. The laughter soon stopped as Brett's cellphone rang.

"Hello? Brett DeMarco speaking....." On the other end, it was Gerald Fitzgerald the Kingpin. "Who did you capture?" he asked. "You won't believe it. One of those Paradise PD assholes! We got Dusty Marlowe!" Brett tells Fitz. "Bring him here at once! I got big plans for him!" Fitz said wringing his hands, and grinning evilly. "Right away, sir!" Brett said hanging up his cellphone.

Brett tells Dusty, "Since you wanted to know where you are. Welcome to Hoh Rainforest! In Washington State!" The evil laughter emerges once again. Dusty begins to have a tantrum.

"Oh no! Washington State? Now I'll never get back to Paradise Georgia!" Dusty cried.

Back in Paradise everyone was lambasting Kevin. "Please don't be mad at me. I tried to stop the rocket from going up....."

"Well, I'm sorry! Running away when a rocket goes up is not trying to stop it." Randall said to Kevin. "Kevin messes up again. Oooh! What a shocker." Anton said.

"How was I supposed to know how to stop a rocket from going up with Dusty stuck to it!" Kevin pleaded. "At times like this I'm glad your father and I verbally abused you." Karen says.

"I'm not equipped in the field of rocket science." Kevin cries. "You're not equipped to handle any job." Randall yelled. "Especially Police Work!" Bullet joins in. Gina marches up to Kevin and grabs him by the shirt, "Dusty is the best thing in the world that has ever happened to me. Now that he's dead, you're on my Shit List, Forever!"

Stanley adds, "You should've seen Kevin in my dream. He didn't know how to enter Pussyland....." "Dammit Stanley! Will you shut the fuck up about that stupid ass dream!" roared Randall.

"Oh, come on. It's not like I'm telling you all gay sex stories from the 1930s and 1940s!" Stanley implied.

"You really pushed the limit this time, Kevin!" Karen tells her son. "Please! Give me another chance! Maybe Dusty isn't dead." Kevin says who then continues, "You've all seen in movies that sometimes rockets land in other places...."

"Oh so we're supposed to believe Dusty is stuck in space somewhere? Like in the movie Marooned?!" Bullet yelled.

"Could be a possibility. But hey, I did manage to conjure up some evidence that Fitz the Kingpin wants to destroy us." Kevin tells them all handing Randall a tape recorder. "This is going to make everything all better? Well, FUCK IT!" Randall shouted throwing the tape recorder far.

"Since Kevin sent Dusty to his death, I hereby declare this Kevin Sucks Day! The Sequel!" Bullet tells everyone.

"Good idea, Bullet. Normally I don't listen to a dog on drugs. Let's make today Kevin Sucks Day 2!" Karen declared. "Kevin Sucks Day 2! Wundabar! I'm going to paint the town pink!" Anton said happily.

Gina runs far away without a word. "Come back, Gina! We know you feel bad about Dusty. It's Kevin you should be mad at. You've lived without Dusty before. Remember when he was in Ladies Prison?" Bullet called out to Gina. Kevin sees everybody around him abandon him. "Uhhh, I'm still with the police force, right?" "No way! You let a cop get killed in the line of duty. Even if he was the worst cop on our force. This time you're fired! FOREVER!" Randall screamed in Kevin's face. Stanley comes up to Kevin, "You know what? I hate you too! You don't deserve to hear what happens in my dream!"

Collapsing on the ground. Staring into the sky. Kevin is at a loss as to how he can redeem himself. On the other side of town. Gina was grief stricken about what happened with Dusty. Although Gina is a brutal fighter, she still had feelings.

Walking down the street, with tears running down her cheeks. Gina reminisces about all the good times she had with Dusty. The Ballad of Jayne by Hollywood Roses plays. Gina takes out a picture of herself harrassing Dusty.

"I miss you Dusty. I'll never forgive Kevin for getting you killed." Gina vows. To cope with the great loss of losing Dusty. Gina enters Gooby Goopers.

"This was Dusty's favorite restaurant." Gina sighs sadly. A waiter comes to serve her. "Can I help you miss?" "Give me a bucket of wine." Gina said. The waiter says, "Customers always right." Staring with grief at Dusty's picture, Gina speaks, "Where ever you are. I hope you're in a better place." Across the table from Gina. An obese man has his eyes on her. He wore a white fedora and suit. He walks up to Gina. Song ends.

"Hey there, lady. Don't believe I've seen you around these parts before. Mind if I join you?" asked the man.

"I guess. Misery loves company." Gina tells him. "Can't help but notice you're a little sad. Why is that?"

"I lost a very special friend of mine today." Gina informed him. "Ohh. Sorry to hear about that. Too bad. Anyway my name is Clarence. What's yours?"

"Gina Jabowski. I work for the Paradise PD."

Clarence said, "You know I've been looking for a woman like yourself. Gina looks at Clarence. "Wow! You're a sexy one. So what do you like in a woman?" asked Gina. "I've always been a masochist. Been my lifelong dream to find a woman who would beat me up for fun!" Clarence tells her.

Gina smiles at Clarence. "Well you found her!" "Great wonderful! We should hang out sometime!" Clarence tells Gina.

The waiter comes back with the bucket of wine. "Here's your wine ma'am." "Put it on my tab!" Clarence said. Gina thinks to herself, "I hit paydirt with this man! Dusty Who?"

Clarence and Gina decide to get to know each other better.



*



In the Washington State Rain Forest known as Hoh. Dusty finds himself being pulled by the members of the Legion of DOOOOOM in a bamboo cage on wheels. "How can you guys pull me around like this? Aren't I too heavy for you?" he asked. "SHUT UP!" Brett DeMarco yelled.

Being lead to what looked like mansion. Russian Mobster takes out a horn and blows it. "Now I shall blow my horn two times!" Blowing the horn two times, Russian Mobster laughs, "One horn blow! ha ha ha! Two horn blows! ha ha ha!"

Coming out of the balcony, there was the Kingpin himself. Gerald Fitzgerald. Dusty gasps. "FITZ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

"I'll do the questioning around here. Brett DeMarco. Report to the lab!" Fitz ordered. "Yes sir!" Brett DeMarco runs inside the mansion.

"Where were we? Oh yes. How did you get here?" asked Fitz. "Well it was like this. Kevin and I were infiltrating your Dippin' Dots Building. Then he and I found a tape recorder. We played and we heard your plans to destroy Paradise. After that, I got stuck on a rocketship. Next time I know I ended up here. Can you send me back now?" begs Dusty.

"Oh no can do. You see. You know too much of my plans to destroy Paradise. As you well know, I have a missile aimed at the town so I can flood it. The flood will be worse than Katrina. Then I will build crackhouses in Paradise on beachfront property!" Fitz said. "But, you beat Karen in the run for Mayor and now you're here?" asked Dusty.

"Yes, me and my Legion of DOOOOOM fled here when Thester told me you were all coming back from Brickleberry. I wanted you all to think I gave up....." Fitz tells Dusty. "Yes and..." Dusty says. "That tape recorder I planted here because I was hoping somebody as stupid as your fat ass was going to play it." Fitz told Dusty.

"Before I knew it I was on a rocketship and it brought me here." Dusty said. "Yeah, yeah. You already mentioned the rocketship, Puto!" Pedro Pooptooth said. "Exactly. I meant for that to happen." Fitz said to Dusty.

"What do you plan to do with him?" asked Pat Robertson. "We'll brainwash him into doing our bidding!" Fitz said. "Shall we take him inside?" asks Frank Flipperfist. "Bring him in!" Fitz said. Dusty was now being wheeled into the mansion in the cage.

Thester Carbomb was at the front enterence. "Hey, you guys got Dusty? No freaking way!" "Indeed we have!" Fitz said. "Dusty is the Puto Who Knew Too Much!" jokes and laughs Pedro Pooptooth. "Hey, Dusty? How does it feel to be in prison again!" Thester cackled. "Take him to the lab." Fitz orders his henchmen. Fitz gives Thester a pat on the behind. Thester giggled and purred seductively.

Once Dusty was in the lab. Dusty was full of fear he could barely speak. Marcos Narcos got him out of the cage and placed him on a table. Thester opens a curtain next to the lab. There was Brett DeMarco mixing what looked like a pot.

Fitz and Thester enter the room where Brett DeMarco was mixing a pot. "I got so much opioids in this pot. Enough to brainwash that fat fucker!" Brett DeMarco boasts.

"Oh Fitz. You kidnapping Dusty like this is a turn on!" Thester said. "Oh yes it is." Fitz said. Dusty watched wondering what was going to become of him. "Do you have all the ingredients in there?" asked Fitz. "All but one. We'll need some moss!" Brett DeMarco said.

"What's the moss for?" asked Thester. "If we put moss in this Brainwashing Liquid. It could put him in a primal state!" Brett DeMarco laughs evilly.

"This just keeps getting better and better!" Fitz said with excitement. "Once Dusty is primal. Then what?" asked Thester. "We'll send him back to Paradise so he can cause so much damage and destruction in that town. After that, once the town is demolished. Then I will launch Operation DD and flood the town!" Fitz laughs.

"Awesome! Now one of you will have to get the moss." Brett DeMarco tells them. Thester volunteers, "I'll go get some!" "It won't be hard to find. Get all the moss you can!" Fitz tells Thester. "Right-o I will! But first. I need a kiss for good luck!" Thester says. "I'm up for that!" Fitz says as he hugged and kissed Thester. As Thester was going to look for moss Fitz tells him, "Before you go. Turn on those lights to the lab!" "Consider it done!" Thester spoke turning on the lights.

The lights in the lab where Dusty was in were flashing all around. Brett DeMarco asks Fitz, "You doing a Harry Palmer thing on him?" "Don't know who Harry Palmer is, but yes." answers Fitz. In the backyard of the mansion, Thester was gathering piles of moss.

"I just know Fitz is going to marry me one day!" sighs Thester happily. Getting enough moss for the Brainwashing Liquid. Thester says to himself, "I'm falling more and more in love with Fitz everyday. Sex was been wonderful since we've been hiding out here!"

Out of nowhere, a gust of wind knocks the moss out of Thester's hands. "What in the world......" Thester yelped. The moss was headed towards the window of the lab and Fitz got it. "Thank you, Thester! DAMN! That was fast! You're the best lab technician ever!" Fitz said. Fitz had no idea that Thester wasn't there. When he tried to get back to the mansion assuming the moss he gathered was lost, Thester gets grabbed from behind.

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN......" Thester yelps again. Fitz and Brett DeMarco put the moss in the pot and stirred it up. Brett puts some Brainwashing Liquid in an IV and injects it in Dusty's arm.

"Oh no! It's a needle! It's going to hurt! I fucking hate needles!" Dusty whines. "YES! It is a needle! Shut the fuck up and take it like a man!" Brett yelled at Dusty. "OUCH! First flashing lights, now needles!" Dusty screams.

Going back to the lab, Fitz and Brett both talk over a microphone to Dusty.

"Now here this! You are going to be our faithful servant. You will do everything me The Kingpin and the other Legion of DOOOOOOM members tell you! You are no longer Dusty Marlowe of the Paradise PD! From now on. You are now Dusty Marlowe weapon of mass destruction for the Legion of DOOOOOOOM!"

Dusty responds to the Brainwashing Liquid fast. He also is hypnotised by the flashing lights. "I AWAIT YOUR ORDERS, SIR!" Dusty said in a sotto voice.

As he was getting brainwashed, Dusty begins to get muscular, bulky and began to revert to a primal state.

Fitz says over the microphone, "Your first mission. Is to go to Paradise Georgia and wreak havoc on the town and everyone in it!"

Dusty was now hypnotised, his mind was no longer his own. Getting up from the table, Dusty roars like a gorilla. Then Dusty crashes through a wall leaving a Dusty shaped hole. "ROAR! DESTROY PARADISE!" Dusty now even had the ability to jump into the sky and land in far away places. Fitz and Brett were very pleased with what they had started!

"The Paradise PD is in for a huge surprise!" Fitz cackled evilly. "Did I mention that Brainwashing Liquid gave him Wonder Woman style jumping powers?" Brett said.

"That was genius on your part! Dusty Marlowe is not Gal Gigot! That's for sure!" Fitz said. Turning over thinking Thester was still with them he asks, "What do you think, Thester my love?"

No answer. "Huh, odd. He's always with me." Fitz pondered. Frank Flipperfist burst into the lab. Marcos Narcos was with him. "Thester Carbomb has disappeared!" "Santa Maria! He's nowhere to be found!"

"WHAAA!!!!!" Fitz croaked.



*



A day later, in Paradise. Kevin Sucks Day 2 was about to begin. Kevin was walking down the streets looking at all the KEVIN SUCKS DAY decorations going up in the buildings. Gina and her new lover Clarence were walking six feet away from Kevin and laughing.

"Thank you for introducing me to BDSM, Gina!" Clarence said. "The pleasure was mine! Come on, I'll show you where I work!" Gina laughed.

"Sure wish I can join you, Gina. But nooo! I got fired and accused of letting Dusty die." Kevin felt sorry for himself. Two kids rode by on their bikes and threw water balloons at Kevin.

"DIE KEVIN DIE!" "WE'RE GOING TO BE PART OF COOL CROWD FOR DOING THIS TO YOU!"

The kids laughed as they rode away. "Here we go again. Another Kevin Sucks Day. I can hardly wait." Kevin said cynically.

At the Paradise PD Headquarters, only Randall, Stanley and Bullet were there. "Well, looks like you're the only ones left I have on my team. Gina probably quit. I fired Kevin and Dusty's dead......" Randall said.

Gina then enters with Clarence. "Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! I'm back baby!" "Wow Gina! Yesterday you were sad for Dusty. Now look at you. It's like you have a whole new vigor!" Bullet said.

"In my dream we were at an aquarium and I had an erection!" Stanley said but was ignored.

"Of course I do! Everyone! I want you to meet my new boyfriend, Clarence!" Gina said. "Great to meet you all! I'm pleased as punch!" Clarence said.

Noticing that the Paradise PD only has Stanley, Gina, Randall and Bullet, Clarence suggests, "You guys can use one more person on your team." "What are you saying?" Randall asked.

"I want to enlist!" Clarence announced. "Well, you came to the right place!" Bullet said. "Okay you're in! Welcome aboard Clarence! Bullet, Gina, and Stanley! Show him the ropes!" Randall orders them.

"You're going to love it here!" Bullet tells Clarence. "You look like that fat Kingpin in my dream. Interesting fact about that is Fitz took on his personality and Thester hypnotized him to help him!" Stanley said. "He doesn't know what you're talking about, Stanley." Gina warned him.

Randall said, "Well, how do you like that? Got a new fat guy on the force! Hope he'll be better than Dusty!"

Still walking the streets of Paradise. Kevin sees the tape recorder from earlier and puts it in his pocket. "So much for this." Kevin says.

Out of the blue, Kevin hears the noise of building crushing. People screaming. Kevin decides to investigate.

"Cool! Now's my chance to redeem myself!"

Running to where the chaos was going on. Kevin sees a large, muscular morbidly obese man crushing and breaking the buildings with incredible force. People were getting violently killed in the process.

Kevin recognized him right away, "Is that who I think it is!?"

The muscular obese man hellbent on destroying the city was Dusty Marlowe.

"DUSTY! DUSTY! It's you! You're alive! Wait until I tell the others!" Kevin rejoiced as he ran up to Dusty.

Looking at Kevin, Dusty roared and swatted Kevin away like a fly.

"SON OF A BITCH! What's gotten into him?" wondered Kevin.

Wanting to tell somebody, Kevin runs to the Mayor's office to tell his mom. When Kevin was growing up, his mother Karen always believed him whenever Randall did not. Inside the Mayor's Office. Karen and Anton were going over reports. Both of them notice the commotion outside, but didn't think anything of it.

"Wow, people are very excited for Kevin Sucks Day 2, ja?" Anton says. "Seems like the town is celebrating it already!" Karen said. Kevin rushed inside the office.

"What is it now, Kevin? Did you come here to do some more troublemaking?" Karen asked. "All those people are having fun. Don't ruin anything else more than you already have." Anton said.

"No it's not that. There's a person outside smashing buildings. The person who is clobbering buildings is Dusty Marlowe. He's still alive!" Kevin announced.

"Ha! A likely story." Karen laughed. "You do know that nobody believes you? Not even us!" Anton said. "But it's true. Take a look outside if you don't believe it." Kevin said.

Karen and Anton looked out the window. Much to their shock, they saw it was Dusty. "See? Dusty lives. For some reason he's a destructive lunatic.." Kevin talks.

Dusty sees that Karen and Anton had spotted him and comes rushing towards them. "That's Dusty! That's Dusty! The proof is in the pudding!" Kevin told Karen and Anton.

Before Karen can say a thing, Dusty punches his fist into the Mayor's office and flicked Anton into the air. "NNNEEEEIIIINNNN!" Anton screamed. Dusty picked up Karen King Kong Style.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!" Karen shrieked with fear. "MOM! MOM! Dusty! Put down my Mom!" Kevin yelled to Dusty.

Dusty climbed the tallest building in Paradise all the while holding onto Karen. "Get your hands off of me you goddamned dirty whatever-the-fuck-you-are!" Karen screamed at Dusty.

"Hang in there, Mom! I'll get Dad to save you!" Kevin said running to the Paradise PD Police Station.

At Paradise VHS, Robbie and Delbert watch Dusty destroy the city and want to prank him. "Hey, Delbert! How about you and I make fun of that giant ape-like sumbitch?" Robbie asked. "Sure, how do you want to do that?" Delbert agrees. "Like Toucan Sam would say. Follow My Nose!" Robbie tells Delbert.

Delbert and Robbie go to the tall building where Dusty was tormenting Karen. Robbie calls out to Dusty and holds out a playing card with an Ace of Spades on it.

"Hey, Ape Man! Yo, Ape Man!" Robbie calls Dusty. "HHHMMM?" Dusty sees Robbie and Delbert and puts down Karen. "Good now's my chance!" Karen said getting away.

"Whatcha doin' there, Robbie? How is this teasing him?" Delbert asks. "I saw this in an Anthony Hopkins movie Instinct." Robbie answers.

"Hey, Ape Man! Ape Man! Yeah I'm talking to you, Ape Man!" Robbie laughs as he teasing Dusty. Turning around seeing Robbie with the card, Dusty slams his body into both Robbie and Delbert causing them to fly. "Well, that didn't work!" Delbert said.

"Remind me to never try anything from movies next time." Robbie said. Thinking she got away, Karen sighs with relief. "Good, I'm safe."

Soon, she finds herself getting picked up again by Dusty. "PRETTY GIRL!" Dusty snarled at Karen. "RANDALL! HELP ME!"

At the Hoh Rainforest. Frank Flipperfist, Marcos Narcos, Pedro Pooptooth, Pat Robertson, Jerry, and Russian Mobster were all watching the chaos Dusty was causing unfold on a viewscreen.

"This is better than watching anything on Hulu!" Marcos Narcos says. "We're watching it on channel 2! ha ha ha! Channel 3! ha ha ha!" laughed the Russian Mobster. "Keep in mind everyone. God and Jesus wanted us to brainwash Dusty to destroy Paradise." Pat Robertson said. Jerry asked Frank, "Will the dolphins be okay?" Frank assures his son, "He's only after humans. Who says there's nothing good on TV anymore!"

Brett DeMarco walks into the room with a viewscreen. "YES! Our plan is working perfectly! Are we having fun yet!"

"I'd much rather watch this than binge watch tv shows!" Frank Flipperfist jokes. "Hold on, I'll get Fitz. He'll be happy to see this!" Brett DeMarco said.

Running into the main room where Fitz resides. Brett DeMarco sees Fitz just sitting on a chair staring at a wall.

"Uhhh, Fitz? Sir?" Brett DeMarco calls him. "Yes?" Fitz said all depressed.

"Our scheme is going accordingly. Dusty Marlowe under our control is causing a wake of destruction in Paradise! Everyone is watching it on the viewscreen! Come take a look!" Brett said.

"No, that's okay." Fitz said. "Without Thester around I don't have any get up and go."

"Who cares about him! What about the launch of Operation DD? When are we supposed to do that anyway? Don't you want to see your dream come true?" Brett said beginning to develop a temper.

"So...." Fitz asked, who was all saddened by the disappearance of Thester Carbomb.

Brett rushed up to Fitz. Grabbed him by his collar. "So? So? So? FUCKING SO?! If you want to find your precious Thester so badly. Get your black ass out there go find your fucking henchman loverboy!" "Why don't you go out there and get him? Or anyone else?" asked Fitz releasing himself from Brett's grasp.

"Because I don't like the guy. As a matter of fact. I really don't like you much, either!" Brett spat.

Then Fitz began to get angry, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT! I AM YOUR SUPERIOR! YOU ARE A LACKEY!"

Brett DeMarco was no ordinary lackey. He was resilient. A skilled fighter, and was able to handle obstacle thrown at him. Another thing about him was he was never afraid to stand up to Fitz tells him straight, "If you want Thester back, you go get him yourself!"

"You know Brett. Some of us here don't have Italian Intuition or whatever it is you call that shit! I suffer from PTSD and from then on whenever I'm faced with an impossible situation. I can't take one more thing!" Fitz said.

"PTSD! PTSD! PTSD! Typical black using mental illness to get out of doing stuff. That's always been your excuse for everything!" Brett tells off Fitz.

"Fuck off and eat a pizza!" Fitz bites back.

"How dare you diss my Italian heritage..." Brett growls in Fitz's face. "Think you can do better?" Fitz dares Brett. "You bet your black ass I can! We Italians invented The Mafia you know." Brett DeMarco says.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You whites take credit for everything. I'll go find Thester, and YOU take over Operation DD without me!" Fitz yelled at Brett.

"You got yourself a deal!" Brett said shaking Fitz's hand. "I'm taking charge from here!"

"You do that." Fitz said going off to look for Thester. Brett goes to the viewscreen room and says, "Change of Plans people. Fitz went off to look for Thester, and he put me in charge of Operation DD!"

The Legion of DOOOOOOM was fine with Brett being in charge. Even if it was only just temporarily. "I'm going to accomplish something you never could you son of a bitch, Fitz! Who knows? Maybe I'll overthrow you and I'll become the new Kingpin!" Brett thinks out loud. Jerry hears, "Did you say something?" "No, you didn't hear a thing"! Brett shouted at Jerry.



*



In another part of the Hoh Rainforest, Thester Carbomb was waking up. As soon as he did. He found himself in a locked away in a wooden looking stable.

"Hello? Hello? Anyone? Where am I?" Thester asked. A woman with a painted face. She was dressed in 1800's clothing came to Thester. "I see you're awake." Thester was scared of the woman's appearance.

"Can you tell me where I am?" asks Thester. "Of course. This is an old barnhouse. We're a Wicker Cult. We caught you because you were stealing moss from trees that were rightfully ours!" says the woman.

"My boyfriend whom I work for wanted me to get that moss for a project." Thester tells the woman.

"Doesn't matter. That moss is our property! Not yours. We need that moss for cooking, sewing, and to start fires. That moss is the only main resource for our lifestyle. It's the only thing we have to go on! For what you have done. And because you're a man. We especially hate men who are homosexuals such as yourself. While you were knocked out. My sisters have spoken." the woman said.

"What is your plan with me?" asked Thester.

Then a bunch of women who too had painted faces and 1800s dresses came to take Thester out of the wooden stable. Thester begins back away and starts to get even more frightened and terrified. "You girls are like an army!" The woman tells Thester, "You want to know. We decided to sacrifice you to our Wicker God!"

Thester begins to cry. The Wicker Cult women surround him and chant, "SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE!" The Wicker Cult women carry out Thester from the wooden barn still chanting "SACRIFICE." Once they placed him down. The woman who greeted him put shackles on Thester's wrists and ankles and were leading him to his impending death.

Getting sick of hearing him cry, two Wicker Cult Women gagged Thester's mouth shut.

Thester thinks to himself, 'Maybe it's better if I do die, anyway.'

Clarence, thanks to Gina (covered in blood and bruises) had excelled in police training. Randall was about to recruit him. "Congratulations to you, Clarence! You are now an official member of the Paradise PD!"

"It's an honor to be serving you on the force!" Clarence said. "He needed a lot of help. Boy did he get it!" Gina cackled. "Without you I never would have gotten though those obstacles, Gina my love!" Clarence says.

"Okay, one thing here. You Clarence I want you to stay away from the Evidence Room. That's my terrority, got it?" Bullet warns Clarence. "I assume there's drugs in there? Trust me I'll stay away from that shit!" Clarence says. Stanley goes on about his dream again, "I remembered something else in my dream! All of us including that Thester fellow were all riding on a missile and we used a shit stick. Then the missle exploded and the whole town was flooded with pizza sauce! Or was it blood?"

"There you go again about that silly ass dream of yours! News flash, Stanley! NO! BODY! FUCKING! CARES!" Bullet barked in Stanley's face. "So Clarence the sexy. You ready for your first assignment?" asked Gina seductively.

"Aren't I ever!" Clarence said with excitement. "How about I be your partner?" asked Gina. Just then, Kevin bursts in.

"GODDAMIT KEVIN! Which part of 'YOU'RE FIRED' don't you comprehend!" Randall yells at his son.

"DAD! DAD! Dusty Marlowe isn't dead! He's alive and well!" Kevin said. "He is dead, no thanks to you!" Randall says.

"You gotta listen Dad! Dusty Marlowe is now a mutated monster. He's damaging the town and he's kidnapped Mom!" Kevin pleaded hoping his father will believe him.

"You talked me into it. Let's go, Paradise PD!" Randall said.

All the of buildings except for Possum Pizza were destroyed. Dusty still had Karen in his hands. "AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! This is no way to treat a lady you son of a bitch!"

The Paradise PD including Clarence all were surrounding Dusty. Meanwhile at the Hoh Rainforest, Brett DeMarco and the Legion of DOOOOOM were all watching the suspense.

"Now that I'm the leader. I say we put Operation DD into action!" Brett tells them all. "Might as well!" Frank Flipperfist says. "The town is pretty much destroyed anyway!" Russian Mobster agreed. Brett DeMarco pushed the button that launched the missile known as Operation DD. Which was now on it's way to Paradise.



"YES! YES! YES!" Brett DeMarco cackled. "Always knew I'd make a better Kingpin than Fitz!" As Operation DD was headed towards Paradise. Gina and Clarence charge at Dusty.

"Gina, with you by my side, I say we can both defeat this clown!" Clarence said with confidence! "We'll get him together! Side by side!" Gina said cocking her gun. Dusty saw Gina with Clarence and gets jealous. So he jumps into the air, and landed on Clarence that killed him instantly.

"Holy fuck!" Gina shouted. "What about me! Isn't anybody going to rescue me!?" Karen cried. "Dusty Marlowe. Stop whatever it is you're doing! Let go of my wife!" Randall spoke over a megaphone. "Let me try." Gina said.

"Best of luck to you!" Bullet said. Walking up to Dusty, Gina tells him, "I thought you were dead. So I moved on." Dusty turned to Gina and froze. "Good! Good! It's working. Whatever it is you're doing Gina. Keep it up!" Kevin said.

"Dusty! This isn't you. What in the world happened to the Dusty Marlowe we used to know? The one who had the Chicken Truck. The one who used to let me squeeze his bitch tits. I know the real Dusty Marlowe is in there somewhere....." Gina tells the mutated Dusty.

Having some memories come back to him, Dusty says, "GINA" in a raspy voice. "Just like Nova in Beneath The Planet of The Apes!" laughed Bullet.

"That's right. It's me. Somebody must've fucked with your brain and made you like this. Fight it, Dusty! And come back to us. To the Paradise PD. Where you belong." Gina tells Dusty some more.

Dusty was going to walk towards the Paradise PD releasing Karen in the process. Then out of nowhere a gunshot is heard. Dusty is shot then begins to deflate back to into being the normal Dusty.

"Dusty's been shot!" Kevin cries. "Who in the fucking hell did it?" Randall said. From behind it was Woody Johnson from Brickleberry.

"Cousin Woody! What are you doing here?" asked Randall. "Consider that revenge for what that asshole did to Malloy! Good riddance and goodbye forever! Hahahahahahahaaaa!" Woody Johnson said as he ran away to his car and drove.

"Oh Dusty! I'm so glad you're back to normal!" Gina said hugging him. "Oh Gina! You brought be back to my normal self. How can I ever repay you?" asked Dusty. "Think I know!" Gina said. "I'm sorry I killed your new fat boyfriend. I had green eyes." Dusty says.

"Never mind that. Why don't you tell us who did this to you?" said Bullet. "When I was in that rocketship. I landed in the Hoh Rainforest in Washington State. Then I was captured by Gerald Fitzgerald and his Legion of DOOOOOM." Dusty says.

Kevin hands Randall the tape recorder. "Fitz told of his plan all on this, Dad! Will you listen to it now?" Grabbing the tape recorder from Kevin Randall plays it, "Guess I don't have a choice."

The tape recorder plays and all of the Paradise PD listen to the plan that Fitz has recorded. Bullet says, "Are we going to Washington?"

"Yes we are! To Washington State we go! We'll kill Fitz and his Legion of DOOOOM! WE WILL KILL THEM!" Randall vows screaming into the sky. Then the Operation DD missile was heard headed towards the town. Everyone takes notice.

"See? I told you it was real! It's going to turn the town into a pizza!" Stanley pointed at the missile coming to the town. "Oh my gosh! We're all going to die!" Karen shrieked in fear. "Will somebody please stop that bomb!" Dusty cried.

Operation DD was just a few feet away from Paradise. Until a shit stick gets thrown at Operation DD sending it back over to the Hoh Rainforest in Washington State.

"We're saved!" Kevin rejoiced. "We live to see another day!" said Gina! "This calls for a celebration!" Bullet cheered! "Uhh, we'll wait on that while we the town gets built again." said Randall.

"Wonder who got that shit stick?" asked Stanley. "I did it." said a voice from behind. It was Agent Clappers as the Big Ball Energy song played. Karen ran into his arms, "MY HERO!"

"Hey, you two timing bitch! I thought I was your hero!" Randall said.

Karen walks away from Agent Clappers and comes over to Randall. "Ha ha! Just kidding!" "Well, I'm walking off into the sunset now. Until next time." Agent Clappers departs.

Randall extends his apologies to Kevin. "Well, Kevin. Sorry I doubted you." "That's okay Dad. I should be used to it by now." Kevin says. "How about I reinstate you to the Paradise PD?" asks Randall. "There's nothing I'd love more." Kevin said. Karen tells Kevin, "We're sorry we've been such shitty parents to you. We'll be better from now on!"

Bullet speaks out, "You know what this means? Call it my dog instincts. Fitz is dead! Who's up for a party!"

Everyone in the town of Paradise cheered. "Nothing really to celebrate here." Gina observes. "Yeah, now that the whole town is in ruins." Stanley said. "Possum Pizza's still open!" said Dusty. "We can work as a community and rebuild!" Kevin said. The Paradise PD celebrate a victory by going into the last remaining building that was standing. Possum Pizza. Even Paradise VHS was destroyed. "Son of a bitch!" Delbert yells. "So what? At least we don't have to work for a while!" Robbie said. The whole town of Paradise erupted in both laughter and cheers.



*



Operation DD was heading to the mansion in the Hoh Rainforest. The Legion of DOOOOOM hear something falling.

"Is that a falling star?" asks Pedro Pooptooth. "I don't think so." Marcos Narcos says. "I'll find out!" Brett DeMarco says. Stepping outside, he sees the missile known as Operation DD headed right towards them. "FUCKING SHIT! RUN FOR COVER!" Brett DeMarco screams. "The missile is coming back!" Frank Flipperfist yelled. "BUT HOW! I did everything right!" Brett DeMarco yelled.

The Operation DD missile however doesn't land on the mansion. Instead it picks up Brett DeMarco, Russian Mobster, Jerry, Pat Robertson, Frank Flipperfist, Pedro Pooptooth and Marcos Narcos and the missile carries them all into the sky.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS! HEAVEN'S GATE!" Pat Robertson yelled. Not knowing his plan went all to hell. Gerald Fitzgerald was searching high and low for two hours straight for Thester Carbomb. "Thester! Thester! Can you hear me!" Fitz calls.

Soon, Fitz hears the sound of chanting and some smoke up ahead. "Now is the time to put my police skills into use." Fitz says. Running to where the chanting and smoke was coming from. Fitz sees a horror that is laying out in front of him. The Wicker Cult was dancing in a circle. Fitz saw Thester standing in front of a Wicker Statue just inches bigger than he. Thester was shackled, and tied up from his shoulders down to his lower thighs.

The Wicker Cult leader says, "You have stolen our moss that is sacred to us. For that you must die!" "YOU MUST DIE!" The other women join in. Thester was breaking out in a sweat and shaking. Knowing he was going to be burned alive. Thester had no hope that he will be saved and just accepted what was coming to him.

"Go ahead and kill me. I'm just an insignificant hospital lab technician!" Thester says through his gag. "Lab Technician! You speak the tongue of witchcraft!" said one of the women. "He's a warlock! All the more reason to burn him!" said another woman.

"DAMN! Those bitches are going to burn him alive!" Fitz said. The woman who was the head of the Wicker Cult had a torch ready to burn some branches that Thester was standing on.

Fitz decides to rush in to rescue his boyfriend. He takes off his clothes and runs naked in from of the women of the Wicker Cult. The women take notice and scream.

"BEHOLD! I AM THE GHOST OF SHAKA ZULU! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND BOW DOWN TO SHAKA!" Fitz screamed at the Wicker Cult women. The women having never seen a black man before all scream and run away fearfully.

"I'M HERE TO SLICE YOU ALL TO PIECES!" Fitz shouts at the Wicker Cult women. "It's a black man! He's going to kill us all!" "Let's get out of here!"

The Wicker Cult Women all ran away. Screaming and yelling. Never to be seen or heard from again. Putting back on his clothes. Fitz runs over to Thester.

"Thester? Oh Thester! My sweetheart my love!" Fitz rejoices. Thester was happy that Fitz came to save him. Fitz took off Thester's gag. Then Operation DD flies over the both of them with all the Legion of DOOOOOM members aboard.

"Big mistake leaving Brett DeMarco in charge!" Fitz said. "Oh Fitz! How did you find me?" asked Thester. "I'm the man!" Fitz said.

"A wind blew away the moss I was going to give to you. Before I knew it I got snatched." Thester said.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. All that's important is that you're back with me. That cult that captured you was worse than Gal-Qeada!" Fitz said. "I must say, that was noble of how you saved me. You looked really hot being all nude!" Thester tells Fitz.

"Well, nothing else to do here but unchain you." Fitz said who then unchained the shackles, and untied the rope that Thester was restrained with.

Fitz and Thester hug and kiss as a lightning storm was about to come. "I just jizzed myself when you untied me." Thester laughed.

"That you did. Come on. Now that Operation DD failed. We'll stay at my cousin's house in Idaho. He's in the Navy and won't be back for 3 years." Fitz tells Thester. "Will we ever go back to Paradise? What about your Kingpin empire? And the others?" asked Thester.

"You know what? I want to take a break from being a Kingpin for a while. Think you and I can use some alone time. Just the two of us. Let them go down for all my crimes. You're the most important person in my life." Fitz tells Thester pinching his cheek. "How sweet of you. What will we do in Idaho?" asked Thester. "We'll settle in Boise. We'll grow weed while we're living in his house. Then as soon as we regroup and get stronger, we'll return to Paradise. By that time we will be unstoppable!" Fitz said.

Thester then was being carried by Fitz as they go aboard the Legion of DOOOOOM's jet and fly to Idaho. Fitz knew how to fly the jet after flying helicopters for the Paradise PD.

As for the other members of the Legion of DOOOOOM, the Operation DD Missile carries them all back to Paradise. Brett DeMarco falls off and lands on his pharmacist company.

"LATER BITCHES!"

While the rest of them all land in the Paradise Women's Prison. All the female inmates run to them. Operation DD missile turned out to be a dud.

The female inmates were all surrounding the Legion of DOOOOOM. About ready to kick some ass.

"Uhhh, heh heh! Is this going to be like Orange Is the New Black?" asked Frank Flipperfist.

"GET THOSE MEN!"

The female inmates all beat on Frank Flipperfist, Marcos Narcos, Russian Mobster, Jerry, Pedro Pooptooth, and Pat Robertson all found themselves getting beaten nearly to death by all the female inmates.

"One punch ha ha..." "SHUT UP!"



Two weeks later.



The city of Paradise was being rebuilt from the ground up after all the damage Dusty caused being under the influence of Fitz and his Legion of DOOOOOOM. "Very happy that our town is being fixed up!" Dusty says. "Yeah, even I didn't cause this much destruction when I was Kev Man." jokes Kevin.

Stanley said, "Guess what I just heard. Those Legion of DOOOOOM fellas all got caught by the missile and landed in a Woman's prison! Hope they like rape!"

Randall laughs, "That's so hilarious! Well. We did it! Thank to us. The Paradise PD! We have defeated Fitz and his Kingpin Empire."

"Now all his men are forced to be bitches!" Gina laughs. "Can we have that party now?" Bullet asked. "Of course! Waiting two weeks for it was worth it!" agrees Randall.

"Put a quarter in the jukebox!" Kevin says.

Bullet turns on the jukebox. The song Still In Love By The Stills plays. As the Paradise PD all dance, party, and have a good time.

Gina asks Dusty, "Hey, hot buns! You got a date for his party?" "Sadly no." said Dusty. Gina grabs Dusty and dances with him, "YOU DO NOW!" "HEY!" laughs Dusty.

Bullet stands on a beer keg, "WHO WANTS BEER!"

The Paradise PD were all dancing and having a good time. Bullet says, "Well this completes our second season! Here's some more good news for you Paradise PD fans...."

"What is it?" asked Stanley.

"We've been renewed for season three!" Bullet announces. "BEST NEWS EVER! BEST DAY EVER!" Dusty said. "Paradise PD forever!" Randall shouts.

"Don't like this music. Got any Perry Cuomo?" asked Stanley.

"Music and beer. There's nothing better!" Randall says. "You can say that again!" Bullet agrees. The Paradise PD's party lasts into the night.

"Wonder what happened to Fitz?" asked Dusty. "Who cares? He's probably dead!" Gina said.

The fact of the matter was, Gerald Fitzgerald and Thester Carbomb have both been declared dead. Over in Boise Idaho.

There stands an old Victorian Style house. In the backyard next door a neighbor sees two new people gardening and wearing straw hats in the backyard of the Victorian House.

"Hi, you new in town?" asked the neighbor.

Gerald Fitzgerald was wearing a straw hat with a mask over it. "Always good to meet new people." Fitz shakes the neighbors hand. The neighbors wife gives him a pie. "Accept this pie as a token of our friendship."

"I can already tell we're going to be friends." Fitz said. "Well if you need anything! Give us a call!" said the neighbor and his wife as they were going back in their house. "We're right next door!" the neighbor waved goodbye.

Fitz goes back to tend to his 'garden'. The garden was marijuana. Thester was by his side. The garden was called Fitz Bitz.

"A little more growing and we got ourselves a weed farm, Thester!" Fitz said. "Few weeks it should be done!" Thester agrees.

"Want to go inside for some lemonade and pie?" asked Fitz. "If it's with you, then yes!" Thester said. Taking a break from their weed garden, Fitz and Thester go inside the house that belonged to Fitz's cousin.

While they were eating and drinking Thester says, "Those neighbors were nice to give us this pie." "Yes they were. But don't get too attached to them. Because as soon as we sell all this weed, we'll make so much money."

"Loving this already! It's good that it's just you and me! Farm Life has been so kind to us!" said Thester. "Oh you bet! Those Legion of DOOOOOM assholes who worked for us were way too annoying! You're the only man for me!" Fitz told Thester then speaks again. "For now the town of Paradise thinks we're dead." said Fitz. "Okay, so if we make lots of money with this weed, we go back?" asked Thester. "Exactly! When the time is right. Is the time we strike! When the Paradise PD least suspects it!" said Fitz.

Fitz and Thester both sigh happily at each other drinking lemonade and eating pie. "I love you Thester Carbomb." "And I love you, Gerald Fitzgerald!" After they were done they looked out the window and admired their up and coming marijuana garden.



The End.......?



The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!



So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. My fanfiction of how Paradise PD season two finale having the ending it so richly deserves. Things even worked out for the bad guys.
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