FicWad

A/N: This takes place after Operation DD: The Utter Truth and Another Day In Paradise.



Paradise PD Presents


A Narwhal Puppy Production



Inheritance Now



Three months had passed. A lot has happened in this three months.....


Since a nuke was about hit to Paradise from the Hoh Rainforest in Washington State. Since Dusty Marlowe got brainwashed into being a destructive monster. Since Brett DeMarco bailed the Legion of DOOOOOM out of prison and took over himself by wanting to blow up Paradise and kidnapped Lydia, Kevin's girlfriend in the process. Since Gerald Fitzgerald and his lackey and boyfriend Thester Carbomb have been declared dead. Since the Paradise PD invited Stan Smith to help them bring down Brett DeMarco and his Legion of DOOOOOM.


During those three months, crime has gone down. Everyone was happy, but the Paradise PD were not. They were bored because there rarely was any criminals to take down or defeat. Sometimes an occasional con artist or a jaywalker would come along.


But that was not enough.....


On the left side of a highway. Anton and Karen were there about to unveil a new billboard. "Is everything set?" Karen asked Anton. "Everything is goot, yeah!" Anton affirmed. A white sheet came tumbling down and it revealed two pictures. One of Gerald Fitzgerald on the left. Underneath the Fitz picture it said "B. 1977 D. 2020". One of Thester Carbomb on the right. The same as the Fitz picture, the Thester picture says "B. 1987 d. 2020". On top of the billboard it said, R.I.P. On the bottom it reads, "God Hath No Love For a Kingpin and His Lackey." Karen looks at the billboard and cries.

"Beautiful! Just beautiful!" Karen sobbed. "Javhole! Now that they're dead and their of Legion of whatever are all in prison. Paradise is finally a peaceful place." Anton implies. "People must remember and feel sorry for their tormented souls. Who knows what kind of an upbringing either of them had." Karen said to Anton. Randall comes charging down the highway in his police car. The billboard brings his attention in a outraged way.

"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK........" Randall shouts as he sees the billboard of Fitz and Thester then slams on his breaks. Getting out of his police car. Randall runs up to Karen and Anton.

"Oh, hi, Randall." Karen greets her husband. "Guten Tag, Randall. What brings you here? Nice weather today, ja?" Anton asked.

"Goddammit Karen! Why did you put up a memorial to the Kingpin for?" Randall shouted in Karen's face.

"Oh that....uh....hmmmmmm. Perhaps you would like to explain, Karen." Anton said fearfully. "Okay, Randall. I put up this memorial because...well...I want people to feel sorry for them." Karen told Randall.

"That's ridiculous! How could anyone want to feel bad for someone who nearly obliterated our town!" Randall shouted.

"You know Randall. If you weren't so angry all the time. You can look at things from a different light!" Karen said. "How SO! I'm glad those assholes are dead! Good riddance if you ask me!" Randall yelled.

"Look, Randall. At least Paradise is just about peaceful now. Can't you be happy about that!?" Anton asked.

"NO! NEVER! We've been bored shitless since we took down the Kingpin. Then that Brett DeMarco son of a bitch took over. Then as soon as we overthrew him. There's no crime much anymore!" Randall screamed.

"Oh I guess I didn't think of it that way. I'm going to put flowers around by that billboard." Karen said. "FOR WHAT! What exactly is this supposed to accomplish here!" Randall asked. "Because I think Fitz and Thester weren't criminals at all. They were misunderstood antiheroes!" Karen implies.

"Ja they were! They were victims! They went against the system! They fought for what they believed in." Anton said.

"Because Anton and I agree that the Legion of DOOOOOM, Fitz, nor even Thester were these terrible people everyone made them out to be......" Karen said.

Randall laughs, "There you go again with the virtue signaling. Misunderstood antiheroes! HA! You liberals always make excuses for scumbags so they can go free or be understood!"

Anton said, "Say what you will Mr. Crawford but all Fitz, Thester, and the Legion of DOOOOOM needed was love!" "That's exactly right." said Karen.

"I'll tell you an example of an antihero! Marlon Brando from On The Waterfront! That was an antihero! Not Gerald Fitzgerald the fucking Kingpin! You both make me sick! I don't know why I ever got back together with you!" Randall said walking back to his police car.

Karen tried to shout back, "All they needed was understanding, love and charm which is something you know nothing about!" "Ja! Who knows! Maybe they'd still be alive if you and your police force hadn't been so brutal in the first place." Anton joined in.

Randall ignored Anton's and Karen's remarks and went back into his police car and drove back to Police Headquarters.

"The billboard stays up, ja?" asked Anton. "Yes it does." Karen said.

At Police Headquarters, Randall enters the conference room. Everyone was there expect Bullet. Kevin was staring at a picture of his girlfriend Lydia.

"Hey, Kevin. Have you heard from your girlfriend, yet?" asked Dusty.

"No, she's on vacation in Disneyland with her family. Damn I wish she would at least tell me how she's doing!" Kevin said.

Randall goes to his podium. Gina asks, "Are there any punks out there we can bust?"

"Unfortunately, no! Dammit! We as a police department have been falling apart since the Legion of DOOOOM is no longer in power!" Randall said.

"Well I kinda like this peacefulness! I feel just as peaceful as when I gave a blow job to Robin Williams in Awakenings!" Stanley said.

"If there's no crime! There's no money in our paychecks! Fuck! I almost wish Robert Durst would come to Paradise!" Randall shouted. "Boy I know what you mean! I need money to complete my baseball card collection!" Dusty said.

"That's not important! The fact of the matter is if there's no crimes coming our way, our police force will go out of business!" Randall said.

"I agree with you, Randall! Without crime. We'll be like fucking Mayberry!" Gina implied. "Yeah, we don't even have an Otis to put in the drunk tank!" Dusty said.

Bullet bursts into the conference room.

"I got some awesome news!" Bullet announced.

"Please tell us you found a crime scene? Or a murder." Kevin said.

"Nope but it is something that can put an end to our boredom! Ladies and gentlemen! I just inherited something!" Bullet tells everyone.

"What did you inherit? A condom company? Please be a condom company!" asked Stanley.

"A Tire Shop!" Bullet said with pride. "Who did you inherit it from?" asked Gina. "An old owner of mine who owned the tire shop. The owner I lived with before I joined you guys." Bullet explains.

Randall said, "Tire Shop, hey. Guess that could be a good alternative for us.....until the crime comes back."

"Yep, I just got back from a lawyer. My old owner who died of boner cancer left in his will that I get his tire shop! Isn't that awesome!" Bullet said.

"So want us work in this Tire Shop? Sure. We can do that for you Bullet." Kevin agrees. "Just as long as you don't throw any tires where my balls used to be, Kevin!" Randall growls at his son. "I promise! Scouts honor, Dad!" Kevin shook with fear.

Dusty was happy for Bullet, "Oh boy! Congratulations Bullet! This calls for a celebration!" Kevin watches as Duty takes out a lunchbox that had Wall Eyed Wally on it.

Kevin told Dusty, "It's not our lunch break yet." Gina hands Dusty some cookies, "Want some Keebler Fudge Stripes with that? I've been saving them for you!" "Sandwich, potato chips, sure I'll take those cookies...." Dusty said getting out his lunch. Then Randall takes it away from him.

"DAMMIT DUSTY! This isn't time for lunch! In the meantime. Since we all need some money. We are all going to work at Bullet's Tire Shop!" Randall announced.

"OKay, you all heard my dad. To the Tire Shop we go!" Kevin said. Dusty, Gina, Bullet, Stanley, Randall and Kevin all go into their police cars to go work at Bullet's newly inherited Tire Shop to earn extra money.




*



Bullet leads the Paradise PD to the Tire Shop he inherited. As soon as everyone else came out of their police cars. Bullet stands in front of the tire shop.

"I even changed the name. Good afternoon, Paradise PD, Welcome to...." Bullet says. Unveiling a white cover that was over the tire shop. "Ta-da! Ko-Kaine's Discount Tire Company! Named it after the thing I love most!" Bullet said standing all and proud.

"Not going to get much customers with a name with like that!" Randall said. "Oh come on. Nobody will know the difference." Bullet said.

"Don't be so sure." Kevin said. Dusty gets excited that he sees a gumball machine in the the Tire Shop. "Yay! A gumball machine! I'm going to love working here!"

Running to the gumball machine, Dusty puts his finger in the slot where the gumballs come out. "Any minute now....." Dusty said with excitement.

Stanley hits Dusty on the head with his cane. "We're here to earn an honest living. Not fuck around!"

Gina looks around at the tires. "Awesome! These will be easy for me to carry out!"

As Bullet gives the Paradise PD the grand tour of his Tire Shop. From far away, Robby and Delbert were spying on them.

"Well, well, well. What have we got ourselves here, Delbert?" Robby asked. "A Tire Shop of the sort." Delbert replies.

"Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Correct! As a bonus the Paradise PD are working there for some reason." Robby tells Delbert.

"If the police are working at the tire shop, what will that mean for us?" asked Delbert. "Since you asked. With the police gone, we can commit as many crimes as we want!" Robby said. "And we won't get caught! You come up with the best ideas, Robby!" Delbert said.

"That tire shop we'll be our first place to rob! But who should we dress as? Not President Masks like in Point Break. Because that's already been done." Robby asked. "How about we dress as Gerard Butler and 50 Cent so we can be Den of Thieves!" Delbert suggested! "Love the way you think! But just one thing is missing." Robby implies.

"What is it?" asked Delbert. "We need a third person who's willing to help us. But who?" Robby thinks.

A voice of an old lady yells from nearby. "I'll help you boys rob that shop!" Robby and Delbert turn around. They see Edna Dorseldigits walking their way.

"Who're you? The ghost of Terry Two Toe's Mama?" Robby asked. "No silly! I'm Edna Dorseldigits. I used to be a part of the Legion of DOOOOOM." Edna explained.

"Want to come join us in our cause?" asked Delbert.

"That's why I'm here! Since the Legion of DOOOOOM fell apart, I've been looking for some other kind of criminal work." Edna explains.

"Welcome aboard, Edna!" Robby says shaking her dolphin fin. "You are officially one of us!" Delbert said.

"So when do we rob those sons of bitches?" Edna asked smiling evilly. "Tomorrow!" Robby and Delbert both tell her.

At the Tire Shop. The Paradise PD were renovating it. The song Blank Generation by Richard X plays. Gina put the tires on the shelves. Kevin was mopping the floors. Randall was cleansing the windows. Dusty didn't do a thing at all. Still obsessing over the gumball machine. Bullet was observing and telling the Paradise PD what to clean. Stanley was painting some walls that had oil stains of them.

As soon as their cleaning tasks were done. Bullet announces, "Awesome job guys!" Gina, Kevin, Stanley, and Randall all applaud themselves. "Expect you, Dusty! You did nothing all!" Bullet pointed him out. Dusty begins to cry. "I can't help that I love this gumball machine! I even named it Som Tervo."

"Commence working day! Let Ko-Kaine's Discount Tire Shop Open For Business!" Bullet announces. "Hey, wait a minute. Who died and made you King of Anything?" Randall demanded.

"Uhh, Sarah Bareilles? What's this all about, Randall?" asked Bullet. "I should be in charge of this place! I am police chief, after all." Randall tells Bullet.

"Excuse me. You forget who inherited this tire shop. Me! Bullet!" Bullet refutes.

"Well I didn't come here to be a slave. I wanted to earn some money since our police department has gone under due to lack of crime." Randall said.

Bullet shows the deed to Ko-Kaine's Discount Tire Company, "AHEM!"

"You won't win this time, Bullet! Deed or no deed. I should still be in charge! Like I am at the Paradise PD!" Randall said. Kevin was behind a desk. Randall joined him.

Randall did not enjoy working at a place where he wasn't the leader.

"Isn't this great, Dad! You and me as father and son working at a tire shop." Kevin observes.

"No it isn't. We have to work for cheap labor in a store owned by a fucking dog!" Randall ranted.

"I owned a dog once. Believe it or not it was Lassie! I got ownership of her when I fucked George Chandler!" Stanley said. "I don't give a shit! It's degrading to be working in a place owned by a cocaine fueled mutt hound!" Randall shouted.

"I will not tolerate that attitude, Randall! You are in violation of code 3, section 5, paragraph 10! Treat your boss with respect! Or else you'll be fired for canine discrimination!" Bullet warns Randall. Then Bullet gets into Randall's face, "Why can't you be more like Gina! She's cool with working here under my ownership!"

"I don't mind working here with Bullet as my boss! Could be worse! At least I'm not in Karen's stupid All Female Police Force! That was a fucking nightmare!" Gina contended.

Randall was still steamed at the fact that he had to work for Bullet. Kevin comes to assure him. Randall practically sobbed. "I shouldn't be here. I should be kicking criminal ass!" "Come come now Dad. Crime has gone down since Brett DeMarco and his Legion of DOOOOOM were taken down. Fitz has died. Just embrace this Dad. Like I said before, you and me working here as father and son. Why you're like Jason Statham in The Mechanic!"

"Get the fuck out of my face, Kevin! Just let me be!" Randall began to cry. Kevin walks away to do some work. That was until he sees Dusty stand at the gumball machine.

"Dusty, don't let Bullet see you stand around that gumball machine." Kevin said. "This gumball machine is my friend. Allow me to introduce you to, Som Tervo!" Dusty said.

"Uhh, hey, Som Tervo. You mean like that robot from MST3K Tom Servo?" asked Kevin. "That's the one. Say, Kevin. There's something that's been bothering me and I want your opinion." Dusty said.

"Okay, shoot." Kevin said. "Who would win in a fight? Fred Flintstone or George Jetson?" Dusty asked.

"Fred Flintstone I guess. He could snap George Jetson like a toothpick." Kevin said. Bullet ran to where Kevin and Dusty were. "GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY ASS BUMS! I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH SLACKING OFF! Kevin! Go work with your father, Dusty you go with Gina!"

"Yeah, Dusty! I'll let you use one of the tires as a hula hoop!" Gina said.

Kevin returned to the work station, and Dusty went to where Gina was with the tires. "Oh, and by the way..." Bullet begins.

Dusty and Kevin stop and stare are Bullet blankly, "George Jetson would have an advantage over Fred Flintstone. He'd zap Fred Flintstone into a pile of fucking dust!" Bullet said.

Stanley was impressed with the way Bullet was bossing everyone around. "Hmm, hope he pushes me around next! In other ways!"




*



The next day. Everyone except Randall and Dusty excelled in their new jobs at the Tire Shop. Stanley was sweeping the floors. Gina arranged the tires, Kevin worked the cashier while Randall was at the desk. They've been getting customers. But not very many. Bullet comes to inspect the Tire Shop.

"Break time everybody! You're all doing an excellent job!" Bullet tells everyone. "God damn you Bullet! I should be calling the shots, not you." Randall mumbled. "Everyone gets to go on break expect Randall! You got to work overtime!" Bullet pointed out.

"AAAAAHHHHH! What did I do to deserve this! WHAT!" Randall yelled. Kevin goes into the break room. There he sees Dusty and Gina. Dusty was using a semi truck tire as a hula hoop while Gina was filming him on her cellphone. Boston's Foreplay was playing as Dusty was hula hooping with the semi truck tire.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Shake it! Dusty! Shake It!" Gina cheers on Dusty.

"Uhh, I thought Break Time was only for lunch." Kevin said.

"Break Time is whatever you make it...." Dusty said. Then Dusty realizes he forgot something, "Oh no! My gumball machine friend, Som Tervo!"

Gina turns off her cellphone, "Sure, go ahead and get your friend." Then Gina sees the video she did of Dusty. "Saving this for later!" she tells herself.

Dusty carries Som Tervo into the break room. "Hey, guys!" he announces.

"Cool! Now your imaginary friend can join your real friends." Kevin said.

"Hey, Som Tervo! Do you like Looney Tunes?" Dusty asked the gumball machine. Gina asks, "What channel?"

Kevin turns on the HDTV in the break room. "Oh here it is." Kevin said. "Looks like a new one!" Gina observes.

"This one is a new remake of What's Opera Doc. But rather this one is called What's Hip-Hop Doc. Wait until you see it, Som Tervo!" Dusty said.

On the TV, it shows Elmer Fudd dressed as a gangsta and rapping, "Yo! W-W-W-W-W-W-Wabbit Killer! W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Wabbit Killer!"

"Gosh, everything has to be modernized!" Gina said. "No kidding. Give me classic Looney Tunes any day!" Kevin said. After the Looney Tunes episode ended. Kevin, Gina, and Dusty were eating their lunch. However, Dusty was ignoring Gina and Kevin and talking more to the gumball machine.

"Wanna hear a funny story, Som Tervo!?" Dusty asked. "When I was a little kid, I thought James Bond's name was Mister Clockinlock! That's what it sounded like to me when I first heard his name!" Dusty then laughed. Kevin and Gina looked at each other like Dusty was nuts.

"Hey, Gina. If you ever get turned off by Dusty perhaps you....." Kevin was about to ask if Gina will ever consider dating him.

"Not on your life!" Gina rejects Kevin's advances. "Okay. Besides, I'm still dating Lydia. If only she'll answer me!" Kevin said checking his cellphone.

Randall resented that Bullet was making him work at the desk while everyone else was on break. A customer came in. It was a male who looked like he was in his early 20's.

"Welcome to Ko-Kaine's Discount Tire Company. How can I help you today." Randall asked the man.

"Uhh, yes. Hello. I'm looking for some tires I can put on my new car for when I go off to college." said the ma
"Well, you came to the right place. Which tires are you searching for?" asked Randall to the man.

"Do you have any Bridgestone?" asked the Man. "Uhh, sure. Right here." Randall said pointing to the Bridgestone Tires.

"No, I didn't say I wanted them." said the man who was developing a smartass attitude.

"All right. Pick your selection." Randall told the man. "You guys carry Goodyear?" asked the man. "Sure right over here." Randall says walking over to the Goodyear Tires.

"NO! NO! NO! I didn't say I wanted those!" the man practically shouted.

"Pick another..." Randall says. "How about Michelin?" asked the man. "Sure, we got Michelin right above the..." Randall says as he is cut off again. "Again! Did I say I wanted Michelin?" asks the man to Randall.

"Do you want Perilli? That's a good brand." states Randall. "Perilli is shit! What about Continental or Cooper!" demanded the man.

Randall was growing frustrated and angry inside. "Continental is here. Right below it is the Cooper!" Randall told the man.

"No I changed my mind! I want Cooper." the man said. Randall goes over to the Cooper tires, the man said, "That's Bridgestone! I asked for Continental!"

"No no no! I hate Continental! I want Michelin instead!" the man said. Getting pissed off my the minute Randall screams at the man.

"Look here you fucking asscock! Just tell me what tires you want for your car!"

"I made up my mind. I want Goodyear!" said the man. Randall reaches for the Goodyear Tires. The man gets snarky with Randall again.

"Forget it! I'll just go someplace else!" the man states.

Then Randall asked, "Wait. You still want tires from our store?"

"Of course I do. Why do you think I came in here for?" the man asked.

Losing all control, Randall takes the Goodyear tire and throws it in the man's face.

"YOU GOT IT MOTHER FUCKER!" Randall screamed at the man who was thrown out by the force of the tire Randall threw at him.

Bullet rushes in. "I saw that! Who do you think you are! Kirk Douglas in Tough Guys?"

"The man was annoying the shit out of me. He couldn't make up his mind! I didn't know what else to do!" Randall defends himself.

"You've had a hard on for this place since you came here. One more outburst like that and I'll have no choice but to fire you! Kevin, Stanley, Dusty, Gina and myself will do just fine without you!" Bullet shouted.

Stanley comes on, "What in hell just happened?" "You don't want to know." Bullet said. "Okay break time is over people! As for you Randall. You're getting a penalty! You don't get to go on break for a week!" Bullet said.

"Whatever you say, DAD!" Randall spouted off.



*



As the next day passed by. Robby, Delbert, and Edna Dorsaldigits drove to Ko-Kaine's Discount Tire Company to go through with their plan to rob the place.

Driving up to the entrance. Edna sees the Paradise PD aren't in the building. However they were on their way to work to at the tire shop. "Okay, boys. Now's our chance. They aren't at work yet." Edna tells Robby and Delbert. Who both run inside dressed like Gerard Butler and 50 Cent from Den of Theives.

"Nobody will ever know it's really us under these costumes, Delbert!" Robby tells his friend. Once they entered the tire shop, Robby and Delbert acted like children in a candy store.

"This place is a gold mine, Delbert A fucking gold mine!" Robby exclaimed. "Where do we rob first?" asked Delbert.

"Where all the other thieves start Delbert! The cash register!" Robby tells his friend. Robby and Delbert steal all the money from the cash register. Then pour honey into it.

"Now this is a 'sweet' deal!" Robby laughed. "Robby you asshole! Why do you always have to make all the funny ass jokes?" Delbert complained.

As they were putting the money from the register into a bag, Robby and Delbert see something else to steal. Som Tervo. Dusty's gumball machine.

"Wanna take that gumball machine too, Robby?" asked Delbert. "Of course we can! We can put drugs in it!" Robby said.

Their robbery was a success. Robby put all the money he had stolen in the truck. Then Delbert put the gumball machine in the back seat. "Perfect fit!" Delbert exclaimed.

What they didn't know was the oil from the car they were driving was dripping due to a lack of an oil change. "Great job, boys! Now let's take it home!" Edna tells Robby and Delbert as they drove back home. Leaving a trail of oil on their way. While in the car, Edna asked, "How much money did you take?"

"All of it! Every last single fucking one!" Robby exclaimed. "We got a gumball machine too!" Delbert said.

"Well, we did good. But one question." said Edna. "What is it?" asked Delbert.

"Was the gumball machine really fucking necessary?!" Edna shouted. "We plan to put drugs in it and sell it to kids!" Robby said.

"All right then, I approve." Edna said. The Paradise PD reported for work in the tire shop. Still upset there were no crimes to be solved anytime soon. Stanley asked Bullet, "Why are you pushing Randall around?"

"It's my tire shop. I can do whatever I want with it." Bullet said.

"Point taken. Any other reason?" asked Stanley.

"Yeah, I'm just so tired of Randall pussyfooting me. So I guess it feels good to do some of the pussyfooting." Bullet said. Everyone was excited for another day of working at Ko-Kaine's Discount Tire Company. Despite still feeling angry there were no crimes around lately. Randall, however was not looking forward to another day working under Bullet's thumb.

"Great, here I go again with Bullet hounding my ass again." Randall said in a depressed tone.

Kevin and Dusty were the first to go inside. They soon take notice that something wasn't right. "Hmm. It looks like same but something is off." Kevin implies.

Gina and Stanley walk in and she tells Kevin, "What's that shit coming out of the cash register?"

Kevin opens the cash register and finds out the money was gone and replaced with honey.

"Uhhh! Holy shit! There's honey in here but no money!" Kevin yelps. Dusty was excited as he ate the honey.

"Oh boy! Honey! Just like Winnie the Pooh!" Dusty said taking the cash register and eating all the honey inside.

"This could only mean one thing...." Gina concedes. Bullet was sniffing all around and shouted, "WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!"

"Haven't seen a robbery like this since the Great Train Robbery!" Stanley says.

Now that Dusty knew they've been robbed he says, "Don't lose hope yet people. Maybe Som Tervo stopped the robbers!"

Running to where Som Tervo once stood, Dusty screamed that it was gone.

"OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! Som Tervo is gone! He's been gumball machine-napped!" Dusty cries. "Gumball Machine-napped? Is that even a thing." Bullet said. "Does it matter?" asked Stanley.

Randall begins to get his vigor back, "You know what this means, people!" "What does it mean, Dad?" asked Kevin. "Crime is back in Paradise!" Randall said with a smile as he did a little dance with a song that sounded like it was playing horns.

"First time in a long time since I've seen you smile, Randall!" Gina said. Bullet begins to get mad, "Whoever did this to my tire shop will pay!"

Dusty was crying, "Som Tervo! Som Tervo! We gotta save him!" "God damn it Dusty! Nobody gives a shit ass flying fuck about your gumball machine! You just ruined my happy moment!" Randall yelled. "There's more important things going on here!" Bullet gives Dusty the third degree. "I thought it was the ruins of your happy moments, Dad." Kevin said with sarcasm. "Shut up, Kevin! I don't need to hear it from you now!" Randall snapped at his son.

Gina runs out of the tire shop and sees a trail of oil. "Looks at this guys!" she says.

Bullet looks at the oil, "It's a trail of oil. Possibly left by whoever asshole robbed my tire shop! The tire shop that I inherited! Rightfully inherited!"

"We haven't a moment to lose! Paradise PD is back in business!" Randall said. "All right! Count me in too! Last thing we need is another Great Depression!" Stanley said. "Can't wait to get out and bust some ass!" Gina said.

"Just as long as I get my beloved Som Tervo back!" Dusty cries. Kevin said, "Everything will be okay with Som Tervo, Dusty. I promise." Kevin said.

"Hope so." Dusty said. Bullet, Randall, Kevin, Gina, Stanley and Dusty all get into their cars and follow the trail of oil.



*



As the Paradise PD were driving following the trail of oil. They all get lead to Robby's and Delbert's house. Inside, Robby and Delbert were playing poker with Edna Dorseldigits.

"Ha! Read 'em and weep! Four aces!" Robby said. "I'll get you next time!" Delbert said. As Randall is about to break into Robby's crack house. Dusty sees Som Tervo and goes inside to get it.

"Som Tervo! I know you're okay!" Dusty said. "There you go again!" Randall said.

Kevin, Gina, Bullet, and Stanley all go inside. Robby notices that someone broke in. "What the fuck was that!" Robby shouted in fear.

Edna, Delbert and Robby all go see and now they're face to face with the Paradise PD.

"FREEZE PARADISE PD!" Randall yelled. "How the fuck did you find us!" Robby asked. "You didn't get an oil change! That's why!" Bullet said.

"Get them, boys!" Edna orders Robby and Delbert. A fight ensues. Robby and Delbert try to fight the Paradise PD but could not succeed. Edna tries to join in the fight, but always gets knocked out whenever she tried.

Kevin hits Robby. Bullet bites Delbert in the ass. Then Gina comes in and finishes off Robby and Delbert by doing a pile driver on both of them. Dusty didn't fight at all, he was admiring his gumball machine.

With Robby, Delbert, and Edna all knocked out. Kevin slaps some cuffs on them. Gina slaps some cuffs on Edna.

"Good work, men and woman! Now that crime is back in Paradise! The police force is back on!" Randall announced. "Som Tervo, you're coming with me!" Dusty said. "I can help you eat those gumballs, hot stuff!" Gina said seductively.

"What about our jobs at the Tire Shop?" asked Kevin. "You know, I gotta say. I'm sorry for pushing you around the way that I did. I just wanted to be in charge for once because I actually owned something." Bullet extends his apologizes to Randall.

"Well, that's okay. I'm just happy that crime has made a comeback!" Randall said with glee. Bullet makes a decision, "Now that I think about it. I let that power go to my head. So, I'm going to sell the Tire Shop." "Really, Bullet?" asked Gina.

"Yeah, I will. I much prefer being a police dog that sniffs drugs!" said Bullet. Dusty decides to keep Som Tervo.




Two Weeks Later.....



Randall Crawford and the rest of the Paradise PD could not be more happier. Now that the crime rate has risen in Paradise. The Paradise PD was back in business. Doing what they do best. Busting criminals with brutal force. Bullet sold the Tire Shop for cocaine. Meanwhile, Karen and Anton just got done hosting a dinner party. Kim Jung Un and Dennis Rodman who were guests that were leaving.

"Good bye, Kim Jung Un and Dennis Rodman!" Karen said her goodbyes. "Come back and stay longer!" Anton said. Kim Jung Un and Dennis Rodman went inside a limo. Then the scene cuts to the Paradise Men's Correctional Facility. A prison break has broken out. Brett DeMarco, Russian Mobster, Pedro Pooptooth, Pat Robertson, Frank Flipperfist all snuck away and escaped.

Brett DeMarco was now leading them all to the Dippin' Dots building. Upon entering. Brett DeMarco had everyone in the conference room.

"Everything is just as we left it." Brett said. "Thank heaven for prison riots!" Frank Flipperfist implies. "Now that the Legion of DOOOOOM is back in session. What kind of crimes should we commit now? Got any ideas?" Brett DeMarco asked.

The Legion of DOOOOOM were now back in action. The limo that had Kim Jung Un and Dennis Rodman inside drives up to the parking lot of the Dippin' Dots Building.

The limo drops off Kim Jung Un and Dennis Rodman as they enter the building. Brett DeMarco was having the Legion of DOOOOOM brainstorm some ideas as to what crimes they wanted to inflict on the citizens of Paradise.

A door was opened in a very loud manner. Which stunned Brett DeMarco especially when he saw Kim Jung Un and Dennis Rodman enter.

"Oh, hello. What can I do for you today guys! Wanna join? We sure could use more members." Brett DeMarco says.

"No thanks," said Dennis Rodman.

"In fact," said Kim Jung Un.

Dennis Rodman and Kim Jung Un were really Fitz and Thester in disguise all along. The whole Legion of DOOOOM were stunned to see them again. "It can't be!" "We thought you were dead!" said Frank and Pedro.

"We're bbbbbaaaaacccccckkkkkk!" Thester said. "And we spent the last six months in hiding! Then we got rich selling weed on an Idaho farm!" Fitz said explaining his absence.

Fitz pushed Brett DeMarco on the side and took charge. "I'll be taking over from here!" Fitz said as he laughs in a in evil way. "Gentlemen we made up a new type of meth." announces Thester.

Fitz shows a bag of meth that was blue and green, "Marijuana Meth! The Paradise PD won't know what hit them now!"

The Legion of DOOOOM along with Fitz and Thester as their leaders were now ready.

Ready to cause tons chaos and trouble for the Paradise PD. Along with a ton of damage and destruction to the city and the townspeople of Paradise.




The End




The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!