Categories > Original > Mystery

Fairy Tale Divorce

by PickleGarden 0 reviews

Robot Chicken Takes On PB and J Otter. By portraying the Otter Family as a Kardashians-esque family. Inspired by an SNL Skit.

Category: Mystery - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Humor,Parody - Published: 2021-07-03 - 987 words - Complete

Please don't take the content of this fanfic too personally. It is just a parody.

The exterior shows a church in Lake Hoohaw. All the characters from PB and J Otter are attending. At the alter we see Jelly Otter all grown up and married to an adult Munchy Beaver. A voiceover says, "The Wedding Stole Your Heart. Get Ready for The Latest Otter Family Event.

Jelly says in the confessional in a ditzy manner, "Whoopsies! I got divorced!" Jelly Otter will maintain a dead pan bimbo demeanor all throughout the skit.

As we now present to you, Jelly's Fairy Tale Divorce!

Opal who was now in the confessional states, "Do you believe I'm old enough to have a daughter now who's getting divorced? No you can't! Because my plastic surgeries worked. I know a lot of people think Jelly got married to earn over 17 million dollars from the wedding. But that's not true. Jelly also got married for attention. What do I have to do for attention? Kill somebody?"

The church is shown again and the camera is on Jelly and her husband Munchy Beaver. Then Flick Duck as a priest who gives Jelly some papers to sign. Munchy signs the papers by writing an X. While this was going on. The voiceover says, "Tune in for a storybook ceremony as Jelly Otter and Munchy Beaver sign their divorce papers!"

Peanut Otter was now in the confessional with his sister Jelly and Baby Butter. While Peanut and Jelly were in their 30s, Baby Butter was a twenty something.

Jelly speaks to the camera, "Nahhh, it's been really hard. All week my siblings and I have just been crying and crying. Then posing then crying. More posing more crying, and getting our anuses bleached.

Baby Butter Otter says, "If you get two, the third anus is free."

Peanut joins the conversation, "I get the free one!" Opal pops up from behind them, "I know right?! Four siblings!"

An aerial view of the Lake Hoohaw Church is shown as Jelly Otter walks down the aisle with Ernest Otter walking her to the alter. The voiceover says, "Their Dad Ernest Otter will walk his lovely daughter Jelly down the aisle!"

Now Ernest Otter (who was wearing an earring on his left ear) was in the confessional, "When I heard my Jelly was getting married, I was so happy my face was like, WOAH! When I heard she was getting divorced, it broke my heart my face was like SAY WHAT?!"

Opal watches as she wipes away tears. Then a close up of Ernest's face looking as if he was going to cry. However Flick Duck as putting some eye drops under Munchy Beaver's eyes. Jelly was at the alter giving money to Flick Duck while Munchy Beaver stares off. Then voiceover continues, "Be there for the magical moment when Jelly and Munchy reach a fair financial settlement."

Their Divorce Lawyer Ootsie Snootie was now going to speak inside the confessional to tell his side of the story. While eating a shrimp platter. Ootsie Snootie states, "I've handled over like over two hundred divorces, right? But this is the best one I have ever seen! All right? They gave me this great suit. I got to ride in on a white horse. Unreal right? I mean they've got scallops wrapped up in bacon. Look at this," Ootsie Snootie said as he picks up another food platter and says, "They got $100 bills wrapped in shrimp!"


The scene then cuts an amphitheater. Now the Otter Family was having a posh, swanky, and wild party. Peanut was dancing around along with his sisters Jelly and Baby Butter, as their mother Opal their father Ernest and all the other characters join in on the party. Georgina Snootie runs up to the screen and yelled, "I"M DRUNK AND HORNY! COME AND GET ME!" The voiceover said, "Join the Otter Family as they cope with the pain of divorce all night long!"

A band is playing at their party on stage. The members were Billy Duck, Simon Fieldmouse and Redolfo. The name of their band was Duck, Mouse, and Red.

Now Baby Butter's husband was talking in the confessional. He was Scootch Raccoon. This is what Scootch Raccoon had to say, "This time it is weird! Ya mean? When they go out to dinner it's all over. The Mom. The kids. And their grandma Ernest Otter. It's (bleeeeeeep!)

A five second scene of Jelly and Munchy at the alter is shows. Says the Voiceover, "Then we get to hear from Munchy Beaver.

Now it was Munchy Beaver's turn in the confessional. He could barely even speak. "uuuuuhhhhhhhhh!"

The voiceover said, "Or maybe not."

At the alter, Ernest, Opal, Peanut, and Baby Butter were all there listening to Jelly tell her "Divorce Vows" to Munchy Beaver. Then quickly turns back to Jelly in the confessional. "Marriages are hard. As it turns out, Munchy was only half the Beaver I wanted him to be. And by that I only mean that he was only half Beaver. But things are looking up for me! I'm single! And there's an NBA Knock Out! Wink!" Jelly stated.

Peanut, Jelly, Baby Butter, and Opal were all standing together in the confessional. "Don't miss the Otter Family's Fairy Tale Divorce!"

A white screen with a caption in black letters reads "ALL NEW EPISODES!"

The voiceover than says, "Followed by All New Episodes of.......Peanut and Baby Butter Take Miami."

"Ernest Otter and Baby Butter's baby Take Reno!"

"Peanut Otter, Baby Butter, and Opal Take Oxytocin!"

The same white screen is shown. Then black letters appeared that read, "STAY TUNED!" As the voiceover announces, "After, stay tuned for the one hour Television Special...."

"Scootch Raccoon's Underwear Revealed!"

Ernest Otter is shown close up in a purple background, "ONLY ON E! The Most Trusted Name in Celebrity Gossip and News! Everywhere Expect Lake Hoohaw!"
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