Categories > Cartoons > Paradise PD

Mayor Terry Quite Contrary

by narwhalpuppy 0 reviews

Randall and Karen go on a honeymoon. Terry Two Toes takes over as mayor.

Category: Paradise PD - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2022-03-09 - 11845 words - Complete

Terry Two Toes comes back from the dead thanks to the Flipper People. When Randall and Karen go on their honeymoon. Terry Two Toes takes over as mayor of Paradise and passes a bill that spells trouble for Fitz and Thester.

What you are about to read here is a real romance story line for Paradise PD! Fitz and Thester should have had a love story in season three! NOT KEVIN AND GINA! And of course you'll see some action, violence, sexual preferences, and adventure along the way!

Paradise PD Presents

A Narwhal Puppy Production

Mayor Terry Quite Contrary

Deep below the surface of Paradise. Lived some half dolphin half human hybrids called The Flipper People. All of them were offspring of The Dolphin Queen who went back to the underground to rule the Flipper People. They were sewer mutants much like the ones from Futurama, but way different. In a tiny room a bunch of Flipper People were surrounding what looked like a bed. Taking a closer look, the Flipper People were performing surgery on someone.

Who was it?

The Flipper People were saying, "Scalpel!" "Forceps!" "Scissors!" "Clamps!" "Wipe my brow!"

The operation scene looked lot like the ones from the tv show ER. "Damn! There's not much we can do!" "I know! Maybe George Clooney and Anthony Edwards can help us! They're real doctors!" "Fuck no! You live in fantasy land or something!"

"Shut the hell up and let's get this shit over with!" the Flipper People were all saying to each other. The person they were operating on appeared to be waking up.

"Well I'll be a son of a bitch!" "We did it!" "He made it!" cheered the Flipper People. "He revived him!" "Does this mean he's going to be half dolphin like us?"

"No, he's still the same as ever!" The man who got up from the operation was Terry Two Toes.

"Never felt better in my life!" Terry Two Toes announces!

"Excellent! We brought you back from the dead!" said one of the Flipper People. "We removed a bullet from your head. Now you're alive thanks to us!"

"This is awesome! I love being alive again!" Terry Two Toes says. "This means you can go back on the surface!" said a Flipper Person. "You know I will! Once I get there, I'm getting even the town of Paradise! One of my main targets is Gerald Fitzgerald!" Terry Two Toes vows.

"Goodbye, Terry Two Toes! Good luck and godspeed!" bids the Flipper People Terry Two Toes a farewell. "Should we bring his mother back too?" asked another Flipper Person. "No he's good enough."

At the Crawford house, Randall and Karen were packing their bags. "Wow Randall! Can you believe this! We are actually going on a Honeymoon!" Karen said.

"Yeah we couldn't before. We were about to until Kevin shot off my balls!" Randall said.

"We can do it this time!" said Karen. "About that, Karen. Did you think about who's going to replace you when we're away?" asked Randall.

"Oh shit! How could I be so stupid!" Karen says scrambling to get her cellphone to call Anton.

"Hey, Anton. Can you take over for me until Randall and I come back from our honeymoon?" Anton is not shown on the other end. Just mumbling of his voice was heard. Karen speaks, "You'll get a replacement. Whoever will come. Great! Take care! Bye!" hanging up her cellphone Karen tells Randall. "Anton will find a fitting replacement."

"Awesome Karen! Maybe it was worth re-marrying you after all." said Randall. "Got one more bag to pack!" said Karen getting her luggage. Karen had about six luggage. "God Dammit Karen! You're taking everything but the kitchen sink!" said Randall carrying three of the luggage.

"I'm a woman! I have accessories!" Karen said. "Yeah I know. Let's go before we miss our flight to Acapulco!" Randall demands. "Right"! said Karen.

Coming back on the surface, Terry Two Toes walks down the streets of Paradise.

"Woo Wee! It's good to be home!" Terry Two Toes shouts. Noticing his return was Anton. "Excuse me, mister. Where are you going?" asked Anton.

"To wreck vengeance on a certain Kingpin!" Terry Two Toes says. "You know, Karen is away on a holiday with Randall her hubby, and she's been looking for someone to replace her while she's away." Anton tells him.

"A mayor, hey? What exactly does a mayor do? I don't even know." Terry Two Toes says. "A mayor rules over a city and makes laws and rules!" Anton says.

"Say, I can do that! Easily! Say hello to your new mayor, Me! Terry Two Toes!" he says shaking Anton's hand.

Robbie and Delbert come along to see what was happening. "Terry Two Toes! Great to have you back in our town!" said Robbie. "We thoughts you was dead!" Delbert said.

"Nope. The Flipper People brought we back to life! Hey, since I'm a mayor now. Would you two like to be my aides!" Terry Two Toes says.

"Yeah, we're up for that! We'd be filthy rich!" Robbie says. "We'd be living on easy street!" said Delbert.

"Hey, where does that leave me? I'm the mayors aide and..." Anton says. Soon, Terry Two Toes throws Anton into the sky and he lands in Diamond City. "Guess I won't be in this episode!" Anton says.

At the Dippin Dots building. Gerald Fitzgerald got word from Pedro Pooptooth that Karen went on a honeymoon with Randall.

"Oh really? Mayor Karen is gone for a while!" Fitz said.

"I spied on her, puto! She'll be gone for a month!" said Pedro Pooptooth.

"Excellent! Without her within our sights, we Legion of DOOOOOOM are free to commit all the crimes in the world and nobody can say shit!" Fitz said.

"It will be fun without the mayor around. Hope you'll be happy to know that even the Paradise PD went with them to be their bodyguards!" Pedro Pooptooth says.

"Even better! Say, have you seen Frank and Thester around?" asked Fitz.

In the entertainment room of the Dippin Dots building. Frank and Thester were getting ready to watch some TV. Frank and Thester were also having ice cream.

"OKay Thester. If there's a dice in your ice cream we get to watch what you want." said Frank.

"All right, then! I want to watch New York Undercover!" Thester tells Frank.

"If there's a dice in my ice cream, we get to watch that I want to!" Frank says.

"What are you going to want to watch if the odds are in your favor?" asked Thester.

"Oh, you'll see soon enough." said Frank.

Frank and Thester eat their ice cream. Frank was the one who had the dice in his ice cream. Thester didn't have a dice in his leaving the lackey very disappointed.

"YES! YES! YES! I get to pick what we watch!" Frank cheers.

Finishing their ice cream, Frank and Thester go to the couch to watch TV. "Guess this means we..." Thester was about to speak and Frank stopped him.

"Nope! No black sitcoms this time! Instead we are going to watch this show called MASH!" Frank says. "Oh crap! I know you like war stuff. Don't know why you always push it onto me." Thester said. "So I can have somebody to talk about it to." Frank told Thester. "Don't you have Jerry for that?" Thester asked. "He doesn't understand this sort of thing yet." Frank answered Thester. Frank Flipperfist was a huge fan of anything having to do with the war genre.

Turning on the TV, Frank tries to find MASH. Fitz walks in.

"Oh there you two are! Was wondering where you guys were." Fitz says.

"Wait until you see this character named Klinger, Thester! You'll like him, he's hilarious! His character tries to get himself kicked out of the army by dressing like a woman!" Frank tells Thester.

"WHAT! You're making him watch MASH! You know he will be offended by that shit! He likes those male K Pop singers for fucking out loud!" Fitz was going to get mad at Frank for making Thester watch a war based sitcom where the Koreans were portrayed as the enemy. The TV turns on. Instead of MASH, they see the mayor's office. Robbie and Delbert came onto the screen and spoke into the camera.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Robbie says. "Presenting the King of Cartoons and..." Delbert says. "No you fuckhead! The new mayor!" Robbie whispers. "Oh right, sorry! Presenting the New Mayor of Paradise!"

"A new mayor!" Fitz stood in shock.

Revealing himself at the desk there sat Terry Two Toes. "Good Afternoon, Paradise!"


"That's correct! I came back from the dead! Thanks to dem dolphin dudes!" Terry explains his resurrection.

"Oh no!" Thester says trembling. "What is he going to do to this town?"

Terry Two Toes announces his first ever law that he will sign, "First order of business. I am going to pass my first ever law." "Tell them what it is, boss!" Robbie says.

Fitz, watching Terry Two Toes from the TV screen while shouting, "Yeah! Tell us! Go ahead! You son of a bitch!" Terry Two Toes announces, "From here on out, in the town of Paradise...there will be no more...INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE!" Robbie and Delbert clapped for the new temporary mayor. "Way to go! You're awesome from that!" Delbert cheers.

Thester fell onto his knees in despair. "Oh no." "That motherfucker!" Fitz ranted shaking his fist at the screen. Marcos Narcos and Pedro Pooptooth heard the news and ran into the Entertainment room. "Santa Maria! We need to stop Terry Two Toes!" Marco Narcos exclaimed. "You putos were going to get married in three weeks." Pedro Pooptooth said. "Is there anything I can do to help?" asked Frank Flipperfist.

"Don't worry, Thester, we will find a way to get married. But first...we are going to have to fight City Hall!" Fitz laughs.

At Robbie and Delbert's crackhouse. Terry Two Toes shuts off the computer equipment he used to film himself to the public. "Just one question. Why are you here at our crackhouse and not at the Mayor's Office in City Hall?" asked a confused Robbie. "Would've have preferred to go there, but hey, whatever." said Delbert.

Terry Two Toes takes down the background used to make it look like he was in the mayor's office. "Too risky. If we actually did go to the Mayor's office, they could find us." Terry Two Toes explains.

"Oh okay. However you want to do it." said Robbie. "You're very smart Terry Two Toes. That way no one would try to kill us." said Delbert. "Exactly. Now here's what I want you both to do." Terry Two Toes advises.

Handing a paper with a rubber stamp on it. It was a bill to ban interracial marriage. Terry Two Toes hands it to Robbie and Delbert. "Go take this to the mayor's office and put it in one of those file drawer thingies." Terry Toe Twos says.

"We can do that!" Robbie says. "I like being a Mayor's Aide already." said Delbert. "It'll be a trap we'll set. That'll be the first place Fitz and Thester would look and try to overturn our bill. And when we see them go into the Mayor's office! BAM! We capture them! We'll make Fitz and Thester stew!" Terry Two Toes begins to laugh.

"Fitz and Thester stew! Delicious! Like that one human soup from Conan The Barbarian!" Robbie said. "Save me a slab of that Fitz and Thester stew!" Delbert says.

"Now hurry you guys! Set the trap and then come back to the crackhouse." Terry Two Toes orders. "YES SIR!" Robbie and Delbert both say in unison.

Terry Two Toes looks around and sits on an old dingy couch with rats and possums running out of it. "Oh! Yessire Bob! Think I'm gonna like being a Mayor! In no time at all, Paradise Georgia will become Population 436!" Terry Two Toes sits back and sighs. A knock is heard at the door. Terry Two Toes goes and answers it. On the other side of the crackhouse front door it was Agent Clappers.

"EEEEEKKKK!" Terry Two Toes shrieked in fear. "AGENT CLAPPERS! YOU GONNA TURN ME IN?!" "NO NO NO! I'm just here to say that I'm on your side!" Agent Clappers tells Terry Two Toes.

" are?" Terry Two Toes asked breathing in a sigh of relief. "Yeah, of course. Saw that speech you made and I just had to use my FBI technology to track you down." Agent Clappers said.

"OKay, so what do you want?" asked Terry Two Toes. "To work for you, of course. I agree with this bill you signed as a law." Agent Clappers explains. "All righty, okay. I can use a man like you." replied Terry Two Toes. "Seriously, I'm glad I am not the only one who is disgusted by interracial marriage. Can you see me being married to a white woman? Puh-leese! Give me women of color any day!" Agent Clappers says.

"Welcome aboard, Agent Clappers. Did you know I decided not to use the Mayor's Office? In fact I just had Robbie and Delbert take that bill over to city hall to set a trap for Fitz and Thester." Terry Two Toes tells his plan.

"If you want that bill to be permanent. What you'll need to do is, separate Fitz and Thester. And I know just how to do that!" Agent Clappers says.

"Awesome! Gotta Keep Em Separated! Huh? Now where I have heard that before?" Terry Two Toes pondered. "NEVER MIND THAT! Oh by the way. Is this anti interracial marriage law. Does it effects just gays, straights, or both?" Agent Clappers asks. "Why both of course! In fact when Fitz shot me in the head he confessed to me that he was a homosexual and was dating Thester Carbomb." Terry Two Toes recalls.

Agent Clappers and Terry Two Toes hear cheers from outside the crackhouse. There were people mostly the rednecks who lived in Paradise. Even the Jabowski family was there. As was Wendell and Donna, Robbie's and Delbert's parents.

"YAY! YAY! YAY! WE LOVE YOU TERRY TWO TOES!" the crowd of rednecks cheers. "Think you have a popular following!" Agent Clappers said as he cracked a smile.

"Great job passing that bill!" "Yeah, we don't want to blacks marrying whites!"

Terry Two Toes waves to the crowd as he and Agent Clappers go back inside. "You know, the first place Fitz will look for that bill is city hall in the Mayor's Office." Agent Clappers warned.

"Yeah I already knew that." Terry Two Toes said. "So if either of us sees Fitz or Thester head over there, I shall nab one of them!" said Agent Clappers. "Outstanding! Then you can being whoever it is here so I can hide him away forever!" Terry Two Toes says.

"Exactly what I had planned to do! Then Fitz will rot in prison for all eternity for his crimes being the Kingpin!" Agent Clappers said. Stopping at the City Hall building. Robbie and Delbert climb up the steps to go inside. Before they enter they see the 'Amendment To Be' from Schoolhouse Rock sitting on the steps.

"I'M AN AMENDMENT TO BE! YES, AN AMENDMENT TO BE..." sang The Amendment. Robbie and Delbert shoot it at point blank range until it explodes and becomes torn apart paper.

"Great job, Robbie. I always hated that motherfucker!" Delbert said.

"We had no time for a shitty ass Schoolhouse Rock reference!" Robbie answered.

Entering the empty City Hall building, Robbie and Delbert try to find The Mayor's Office. "This is almost like Watergate!" Robbie laughs. "I know right. Oh look!" Delbert points to the Mayor's office.

"Eureka! We found the Mayor's office!" Robbie says. Bursting into the Mayor's Office it was partially dark. Robbie and Delbert try to look for a file cabinet. Robbie sees a copying machine and mistakes it for a file cabinet.

"That's that place Two Toes wants us to hide the law!" Delbert said. "You're right, Delbert! Let's put it in that thingy!" Robbie ordered. Robbie and Delbert put the anti-interracial marriage law into the copying machine. The machine makes a humming sound and makes a copy of the law. Which left Robbie and Delbert astounded.

"What the fuck kind of file cabinet is this!" Robbie screamed. "It made another paper!" said Delbert.

Searching around for the file cabinet, Robbie bumps into one. "Right in front of you!" Delbert stated. "Oh that's what it looks like! Forgot there for a minute!" Robbie said.

Putting both the law and the copy into the file cabinet, Robbie and Delbert both run out and exit the Mayor's Office and City Hall altogether.

"We have to report back to Terry Two Toes now!" said Robbie. "He's gonna be so proud of us!" Delbert agrees. Back in the Dippin Dot's building, Frank Flipperfist, his son, Jerry, Marcos Narcos and Pedro Pooptooth were in the conference room awaiting whatever next order Fitz will make them carry out.

"Come on, where are those putos already!" ranted Pedro Pooptooth. "I know right. They should be here by now." Frank says. "Not only are they gone, where the fucking hell is Russian Mobster?" asked Marco Narcos. "Oh didn't you hear? He went back to Russia for a while so he can help Putin invade Ukraine." Frank Flipperfist informs his fellow drug dealers.

"Oh yes. Glad he's gone, he used to annoy the living shit out of everyone by counting all the time! Then, he kept praising Putin like he was a God!" Pedro Pooptooth says. A door opens. Frank, Pedro, and Marcos assume it's Fitz and Thester entering.

"Okay, quiet everyone. Fitz is back." Marcos Narcos says. "Sometimes when he comes in unexpectedly, I like to call him 'Fun Wrecker.'" Frank Flipperfist jokes. Jerry gurgles.

Instead of Fitz and Thester walking into the conference room, it was Brett DeMarco.

"What the hell!" Frank shouted. "Brett DeMarco! Not that puto again!" Pedro joins. "Santa Maria! Where the fuck are Fitz and Thester! They're our leaders not you!" Marcos Narcos yelled in anger.

"Oh, didn't you all hear." begins Brett DeMarco. "Hear what!" Frank shouted. Jerry gurgles. "Those two Idris Elba and Toby Jones look-a-like losers went to City Hall to try to overturn that Anti-Interracial Marriage Law. So, while they're away. Just like Mayor Terry Two Toes, trust me, I already know all about that. You all guessed correctly, I shall be in charge until then!" Brett DeMarco replies.

"We'll take it." Frank Flipperfist said. "It'll probably be indefinite because there's a chance they can get themselves killed. Which I hope happens! Then the Argyle and Houndstooth Meth Empire will finally be mine like I have wanted all along!" Brett DeMarco cackles in an evil sense.

"We all know how this will end." Pedro Pooptooth rolls his eyes. "I'm dreading this already." Marcos Narcos agrees. "Gosh, will Fitz and Thester hurry up with overturning that stupid law!" Frank Flipperfist stated. Jerry gurgles in agreement.

On their way to City Hall. Fitz drives and parks his car in the parking lot. Little did they know they were being watched by Terry Two Toes and Agent Clappers. Who were on top of City Hall. "Terry, when we capture one of these guys, you can do whatever you want to then." says Agent Clappers. Robbie and Delbert were there too. "We got that law into that cabinet thingy." announces Robbie. "Great work! I got it! How about the three of you go take a ride around Paradise and have yourselves a Victory Parade, after we kidnap either Fitz or Thester then hold one of them captive in the basement of the crackhouse?" Agent Clappers suggested.

"Awesome! You know, at first. I had my doubts about hiring you to work for me. You're a Pretty Fly For a Black Guy. Huh, now why does THAT sound familiar to me?" Terry Two Toes asked himself. "Never mind that, let's go kidnap that Carbomb fella." Delbert says. "Yeah he's the weakest link between the 2 of them!" Robbie agreed. Terry Two Toes departs with Robbie and Delbert as they use Agent Clappers car to drive up to Fitz and Thester. Agent Clappers, Terry Two Toes, Robbie and Delbert all climb down from the City Hall building.

Fitz sees Terry Two Toes go in a car with Robbie and Delbert, they drive away from the City Hall building. "Okay, the coast is clear, Thester. Now this is our chance to destroy that law." Fitz told his lackey and boyfriend. Fitz and Thester both assume Terry Two Toes was ruling Paradise from the City Hall building in the Mayor's Office. Not the crackhouse like it really is.

"I can't wait to rip that law into shreds!" says Thester. "Before we know it, we'll be married in no time." Fitz assures Thester. "Oooh, why is it some people don't want two gay men who love each other to be together? Or blacks to marry whites?" asked Thester. " Good question isn't it? People seem to like seeing two people of the same color get married that hate each other." Fitz imposes. "You're right, it's like some want to think a man and a woman who hate each other have a right to be wed, but not a same sex couple like us who actually love one another." Thester implied. "I promise you, this is all going to be over soon! Hopefully there's a paper shredder inside the Mayor's Office." Fitz laughs. As Thester and Fitz were about to enter the City Hall building. Terry Two Toes speeds up in Agents Clappers car and charges at Fitz and Thester by driving up the stairs that lead to the City Hall building.

"DAMN! WHAT THE FUCK! What is this, Take The Money and Run all of the sudden!" Fitz screams in fear.

"Holy shit! That car is coming this way!" Thester shrieks.

Inside Agent Clappers car, Robbie and Delbert grab Thester as fast as they could. "THESTER!" yells Fitz.

"FITZ! HELP ME!" Thester cries for help.

Not before long, a cloud of smoke from the exhaust from Agent Clappers car envelops all over Fitz.

Agent Clappers then throws a metal stick from behind on Fitz's head knocking him out. "Excellent! Our plan has worked perfectly!" Agent Clappers talks to himself.

Terry Two Toes picks up Agent Clappers and he, Robbie, Delbert, and Agent Clappers all drive away with Thester. Who was crying for Fitz to rescue me.


As Fitz lays knocked out an ambulance comes to pick him up. Two ambulance driver place Fitz on a stretcher and were chanting, "HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT!"

Agent Clappers watches Fitz get put in the ambulance. "Dammit! Oh what the fuck. I'll deal with Fitz later. For right now, I wanna have a little fun with Thester!"

Terry Two Toes has driven back to the crackhouse. Agent Clappers, Terry Two Toes, Robbie and Delbert all get out, as they all exit Agent Clappers' car. Robbie and Delbert drag Thester inside with a bag over his head. Thester protested, "SET ME LOOSE! SET ME LOOSE! RIGHT NOW! STOP THIS! FITZ IS GOING TO KICK YOUR ASSES! YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY!"

Taking off the bag from Thester's head, the lackey finds himself being shoved inside the crackhouse. Astonished by his surrounding. Terry Two Toes goes to sit on the possum and squirrel filled couch sitting before Thester. Robbie and Delbert pick up Thester from the floor and grab him by both his arms. Agent Clappers is outside waiting for the right moment to go inside.


Terry Two Toes explains, "You're probably wondering why I'm in the crackhouse and not the Mayor's Office."

"WHY?" asked Thester.

"Because it's much more easier to rule the town from here than from pussy ass City Hall!" Terry Two Toes said. Robbie tells Thester, "Yeah and you and Fitz were dumb enough to think we were in Mayor's Office!"

"We also know you and Fitz tried to go inside and rip up that law we put on paper!" Delbert said. "It's all a part of a divine plan for this town to NEVER witness a marriage between a black and a white." Terry Two Toes tells Thester straight up.

"Please! Don't ruin this for me and Fitz. We want to get married so badly. Don't break us up!" Thester begs.

"NO! YOU WILL NOT MARRY THAT MOTHER FUCKER BLACK GUY!" Terry Two Toes yells out at Thester's face.

"But, Fitz is the Kingpin. He's a criminal just like you are." Thester stands with reason.

"I DON'T CARE IF HE IS THE KINGPIN!" Terry Two Toes yells once more. "Are you are doing this because we're homosexuals? Or because Fitz is black?" Thester asks.

"No. Not really. This law applies to both gays and straights. Also it applies that whites can't marry Chinese, Japanese, and dirty knees! Get what I'm saying!" Terry Two Toes says.

"I guess so." Thester said in confusion.

"What Terry Two Toes is trying to say it, you can never marry Fitz! NEVER!" cackles Robbie. "As our boss and great leader says, we don't care if Fitz is the Prince of Persia! Awesome video game series by the way." says Delbert.

"Is this a kidnapping?" asked a startled Thester.

"Damn straight it is! Anything to keep you and Fitz apart!" Terry Two Toes laughs. "What am I supposed to do? Go to the red light district and fuck around with female prostitutes and suck their toes?" Thester was saying beginning to get mad.

"I would not give a possums ass! At least that would be a lot more normal for you to do than marry a black guy!" Terry Two Toes spat back.

"What shall we do with 'em boss?" asked Robbie off the cuff.

"Throw him in the basement and make sure he never gets out!" Terry Two Toes orders. "Sir, yes sir!" Delbert says. Thester begins to scream incoherently as Robbie and Delbert drag Thester into the basement of the crackhouse. Robbie says to Thester, "Hey, Thester! What do you think of us dumb hicks now!" Delbert says, "We're smarter than you think!"

At the Paradise Hospital. Fitz slowly awakens and finds himself in a hospital. "SHIT! How the hell did I end up in here!"

Dr Funtlichter walks up to Fitz in his hospital bed. "You were hit over the head with some type of metal stick. We examined you."

"Look, doctor. The love of my life is in trouble. I need to get out of here and save him." Fitz begs Dr. Funtichter.

"No can do. For now you need to rest. If you don't, you'll end up deader than Bob Saget in an Orlando hotel!" Dr. Funtichter.

"Yeah, well my head feels fine." Fitz said. "I can't release you just yet. Now that Terry Two Toes is the Mayor and you told me your lover is in danger. I have no choice but to follow his new law. In fact, after seeing him on TV I am on his side! Almost every one in town wants you and Thester Carbomb apart forever. Besides, that blow to your head is a lot more..." Dr. Funtichter was about go on. Fitz got up from his hospital bed, and grabbed a tank of laughing gas and turned it up full blast and ties a breathing mask on Dr. Funtichter's mouth. The blow to the head Fitz received from Agent Clappers wasn't as bad as the doctor made it out to be. Fitz was okay.

Fitz got out of the hospital gown, and got back into his white double breasted suit and ran out of the hospital.


Brett DeMarco watches on the screen Fitz running away from the hospital. "Fitz escaped from the hospital! What is he? McQ?" "You're a John Wayne fan, too? What a coincidence! So am I!" Frank Flipperfist says.

In the basement of the crackhouse. Thester was laying on an old outdoor lawn chair. Crying his eyes out. "This is the end. I'm never going to see Fitz again."

Growing increasing tired of hearing Thester endlessly sobbing. Robbie asked Terry Two Toes holding his ears, "Isn't there any way we can shut him the fuck up!"

"Let him cry all we wants to. He'll give up soon." says Terry Two Toes.

"But I can't stand to hear crying! Make it fucking stop!" begs Robbie. "Thester's a big boy, he'll have to get over it on his own." Delbert tells his 'brother'.

"I got it!" Terry Two Toes stands from the couch with an idea. "What is it?" asked both Robbie and Delbert.

"Let's have that Victory Parade that Agent Clappers suggested." Terry Two Toes says. "Awesome! Then we can get the whole town on our side and march with us!" Robbie says.

"Sounds like fun! But who's going to watch Thester? He could get away." Delbert implies. "That Agent Clappers fella will! Come on guys!" Terry Two Toes says. Robbie and Delbert were running to Agent Clappers car as was Terry Two Toes who decided to sit in the back seat. Agent Clappers walks into the crackhouse and found his way to the basement.

Riding around Paradise in Agent Clappers' car. Terry Two Toes calls out to everyone, "WANT TO PUT AN END TO INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE! THEN COME FOLLOW ME!"

A bunch of people who were against interracial marriage were now following Terry Two Toes. Everyone who was anti interracial marriage including The Jabowskis, every redneck in town, to Wendell and Donna were all marching along. Terry Two Toes now has some followers chanting along with him.









Agent Clappers was watching over Thester in the crackhouse basement. "You're lucky The Grudge isn't here guarding you!" Agent Clappers teased.

"Have no idea what you're talking about! I demand you release me at once! You disgusting long balled wanker!" Thester yelled at the FBI agent.

"HA! As the Hal 9000 Computer from 2001 once said I'm Afraid I Can't Let You Do That!" Agent Clappers taunted.

"Fitz will come for me! You better look over your shoulder when he does!" Thester promises.

"That's not going to happen. You see when we abducted you, I hit Fitz over the head with a metal stick back at the City Hall building. He's in the hospital now. See? Now no one can help you get back together with Fitz!" Agent Clappers says in his usual stone faced demeanor.

"You mean, how long will he be in there?" asked Thester with concern. "Well, that's up to the doctors. Perhaps in a month or so. With that blow I gave to his head, it's highly likely that Fitz will forget you ever existed." Agent Clappers tells Thester.

Thester sees a door in the basement. So hope is not lost for the lackey to make an escape.

"Want to hear my favorite quote from Dante's Inferno? Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here!" Agent Clappers told Thester.

"Never heard of it. I want out of here NOW!" Thester begins to demand.

"You think I'm going to listen to you, asswipe? I only take orders from Mayor Terry Two Toes." Agent Clappers says.

Getting his cellphone from his pants pocket, Thester begins to play with it. "You better give that to me!" Agent Clappers said. "No it's mine." Thester bites back.

"Prisoners are not allowed to have cellphones. What are you planning to do? Call your loverboy Fitz and have him come on his white horse to save your ass?" Agent Clappers asks in a condescending tone.

"No I'm not. I was going to play Family Guy Quest For Stuff." Thester said innocently. "Whatever. I'm not buying it. Give me your cellphone NOW!" Agent Clappers begins to yell. "If you don't you're going to make me extremely angry!"

"I have rights!" Thester yells.

Thester's cellphone makes a buzzing sound. Thester goes to check his cellphone and it was a robo call from Joe Biden. Deciding to use this to his advantage. Thester decides to play around with Agent Clappers.

"I got a call!" Thester tells Agent Clappers. "Hello?"

Agent Clappers demanded to know, "Tell me who it is! Come on! Tell me! Who is it! Stop stalling on me you Big Hero 6 looking mother fucker!"

"Why I'll be dipped! It's your boss Terry Two Toes!" Thester said with excitement,

"It is? What is he saying?" Agent Clappers wanted to know.

On his cellphone Thester was pretending to talk to Terry Two Toes, "Oh, Terry Two Toes just told me you have to take off your pants."

Agent Clappers takes off his pants. "This is an odd request. What else is he saying?" Agent Clappers asks.

"Then he's saying to take off your underwear and put them over your head." Thester says.

"Whatever." Agent Clappers rolls his eyes and takes off his underwear and puts them on his head.

"Now Terry Two Toes told me you need to pull your underwear over your eyes!" Thester informs the FBI agent.

Agent Clappers now pulled his underwear over his eyes. "Okay and what else?" Agent Clappers asked.

"Terry Two Toes now says you have to open that door." Thester pointed to the door in the crackhouse basement.

Despite having his own underwear on his head, Agent Clappers was able to open the door. Thester was moments away from escaping into freedom.

Thester still pretending to talk to Terry Two Toes on his cellphone. "Terry Two Toes says you're doing a good job. Now he wants you to stand at the open door and do nothing!"

"OKay. Now what?" asked Agent Clappers who was now standing at the open basement door.

Thester hangs up his cellphone and runs up to Agent Clappers and says, "Terry Two Toes told me to tell you suck as a follower, and you need a punch in the throat! YYYAAAAHHHH!"

Agent Clappers got punched in the throat by Thester who ran out of the open basement door. Thester's escape proved to be a success!

"YES! YES! YES! I DID IT! I'M LIBERATED!" Thester cheers as he runs far away from the crackhouse. On another side of town, Fitz was running far away from the Hospital.

Now both Fitz and Thester were running around on the other sides of Paradise trying to look for each other.



Agent Clappers was knocked into the floor after being punched by Thester. Taking his underwear off his head, he sees Thester is gone.

"SON OF A BITCH! THAT BRITISH BASTARD OUTSMARTED ME!" Eventually, Fitz and Thester see each other from far away on the opposite ends of town. Back at the Dippin Dots Building, Brett DeMarco is watching them on his laptop and making Frank, Pedro, and Marcos watch.

"This is our assignment?" Frank asked in disgust. "Hey, I'm your boss! Maybe even for good. Take it or leave it!" Brett DeMarco spat out. "Come on, I want to sell some meth already puto!" Pedro protested.

"Santa Maria! If they don't die like you hoped, what'll you do then?" asked Marcos. "Oh trust me. Something will get them." Brett DeMarco says cracking an evil smirk.

Thester sees Fitz from far away and tries to run to him. "FITZ! FITZ! I'M HERE!" "I SEE YOU, THESTER! I'M ON MY WAY!"

Before the British lackey can run any more further, Thester runs past a plant store called "Little Plants And Horrors" and is then grabbed by a giant Venus Fly Trap, Thester cries for help.


Witnessing Thester about to be devoured by the Venus Fly Trap, Fitz runs to where the Little Plants and Horrors plant store is. Getting out a butcher knife he always carries with him, Fitz uses the knife to stab the Venus Fly Trap to death until it lets go of Thester. Fitz and Thester hug and embrace.

"Oh Thester! My little baby sweetheart!" Fitz cried out. "Oh Fitz! I was nabbed but I was able to escape." Thester explains. "I got hit on the head and landed in the hospital. That stupid doctor wanted to keep me in there longer. But I ran the fuck outta there!" Fitz breathes out in relief.

Back in the basement of the crackhouse, Agent Clappers phones Terry Two Toes. Getting his phone Terry Two Toes answers it, "Mayor Terry Two Toes speaking!"

"It's me, Agent Clappers. Good news, Fitz is still in the hospital. Bad news, Thester Carbomb has escaped!" Agent Clappers told Terry Two Toes.

"Escaped! Then go find him! In fact I think you can use a group of people to help." Terry Two Toes suggested. "Who're gonna get to help Agent Clappers?" asked Robbie still driving Clapper's car.

"The Jabowskis. Hey, Jabowskis! Would you like to help Agent Clappers get Thester Carbomb?" Terry Two Toes told the family of redneck criminals.

Cooter says, "OKay sure!" Bo asked, "Where can we find them?"

"He's at our crackhouse. You can't miss it." said Delbert. Terry Two Toes still on the phone with Clappers orders him, "While I'm riding around in my Victory Parade, I'm gonna lead you in charge to get both Fitz and Thester! Understood?"

"Yes sir!" Agent Clappers says. Mr. and Mrs Jabowski along with Cooter, their baby, Bo, and Granny broke away from following Terry Two Toes in Clappers car to go help the FBI agent. Everyone else remained.

Fitz and Thester devise a plan. "You know, sometimes when I worked for the Paradise PD whenever I used to visit Karen. She always puts laws in the file cabinet." Fitz tells Thester.

"Yeah, we can get in there this time. There's nobody around." Thester said. "Precisely. The City Hall building is empty since Karen went on her honeymoon with Randall." says Fitz.

The Kingpin and his lackey hear a car coming with a bunch of protesters coming from behind them. It was Terry Two Toes. Fitz and Thester were able to hide away from the car in time. Terry Two Toes had all the rednecks, Wendell, Donna, the protesters, and well as Robbie and Delbert all chanting.





The Jabowskies made their way to the crackhouse to meet with Agent Clappers. "Good you guys are here." Agent Clappers tells them. "We would not miss this for the world!" Mr. Jabowski says. "Tracking down a white dude wanting to marry a black! Count me in!" Mrs. Jabowski said.

"What are we after again? Is it gold?" asked Cooter who had a crayon stuck up his nose. "NO! Wees gonna get that black guy Fitz and stop 'em from marrying dat British fella!" Bo said.

"Where will be the first place we can look?" Granny Jabowski asks. "Easy. It'll be City Hall." Agent Clappers tells the Jabowskis.

"What if they ain't there?" asked Cooter. "Oh trust me on this one. They'll be there to try to get rid of that law." Agent Clappers says.

Fitz and Thester were now in the Mayor's Office of the Paradise City Building. Fitz spots the file cabinet. "A-HA! I knew it! Karen usually stores the laws she passes in the top shelf."

"This is really happening isn't it! We are so close! Soon Terry Two Toes reign of terror will be nothing but history!" Thester said happily. "I'm here to make sure of that!" Fitz said. Searching through the top file cabinet. Fitz finds the piece of paper, the amendment that was signed into law that Interracial Marriage is banned in the city of Paradise.

"YES! I GOT IT! Oh here's a copy!" said Fitz who noticed there was a copy made of it earlier by mistake courtesy of Robbie and Delbert.

"If there's two papers of that law, put the real one in your pocket!" Thester suggested. "Good thinking, Thester! Damn I taught you too well! That's why I love you so much!" Fitz says putting the real amendment in the pocket of his jacket.

Right when Fitz and Thester were about to leave and make their getaway. The lights and the power in the City Hall building suddenly go out.

"HOLY SHIT! HOW THE FUCK DID IT GET SO DARK!" screamed Thester. "It's cool. I know how to find my way around the dark. Just follow me." Fitz says. "All right then, I trust you." Thester said.

Loud music soon filled the air of the City Hall building. Freezing Fitz and Thester in place holding their ears. "We Don't Talk About Bruno" from the Disney movie Encanto began to play at the deafening volume.

"DAMN! WHERE IS THAT MUSIC COMING FROM!" screams Fitz. "THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW!" Thester joins in on the screaming.

The lights were turned back on. However, We Don't Talk About Bruno was still playing but in a more lower and slower tone. Until the song finally stopped, Fitz and Thester soon found themselves trapped with no way out. Now Agent Clappers and the entire Jabowski family were zoning in on them.

"Gerald Fitzgerald! I thought I hit you over the head!" Agent Clappers yells that he could not believe Fitz survived that blow to his head from earlier.

"You didn't hit me hard enough!" Fitz said.

"How did you know we were here?" Thester asks. "This is where all the laws are passed. Even an idiot can figure that out." Agent Clappers snarked.

"What should we do with 'em?" asked Cooter. "Can we kill 'em?" asked Bo. "NO! We'll take them prisoners and you guys can hold them in your basement." Agent Clappers said.

Fitz holding up the copy, "NO! We refuse to be victims. If either of you come one step closer, I will rip this fucking law into confetti! I mean IT!"

"You think you got the upper hand, hey!" Mr. Jabowski says. "That looks like a copy of the law. Y'all prolly don't know where the real law is." Mrs. Jabowski said.

The Jabowskis and Agent Clappers did not know how wrong they were.

"Hey Paw, let's stick crayons up their noses." Cooter suggests. "No way! Now that we got you both here. We're going to kick you ass!" Mr. Jabowski warns.

"Not if we kick your asses first! Thester and I are fighters!" Fitz informed. "Yeah we are. I punched Agent Clappers in the throat today." Thester said.

"Don't remind me!" Agent Clappers said.

The Jabowskis charge themselves at Fitz and Thester. The copy of the amendment was taken away from them. "Now we're really going beat you asses!" Fitz shouted.

Fitz and Thester were able to beat up and take down Bo and Cooter. Granny Jabowski says, "Do that neck chop thing you do!"

"Right, Mee Maw!" said Mr. Jabowski. "We still got that law. Now you'll never get married." Mrs Jabowski laughs.

"We're going to get it back." said Fitz. "Oh no you won't. You're both going to get a taste of your own medicine for beating up Bo and Cooter!" Mr. Jabowski says.

"What're you going to do about it!" Thester sneered in Mr. Jabowski's face.

"Between Thester and I we can take you all down!" Fitz said. "Not if I take you both down first! KARATE!" Mr. Jabowski screams as he uses his hand to 'chop' Fitz and Thester in the side of their necks knocking them out cold.

"YES! WE DID IT! Now they are ours!" Mr. Jabowski says. Bo and Cooter get up from being beaten and carry Fitz and Thester to their house with Agent Clappers following them.

"Now is the time to use this shock collar. I got two!" Agent Clappers says to himself. Terry Two Toes was still having Robbie and Delbert drive around Paradise. At the Jabowski place. Cooter, Bo, Granny, Mr. and Mrs Jabowski were all waiting for Fitz and Thester to wake up. Agent Clappers just got done putting shock collars on them.

""You gonna train 'em like dawgs?" asked Cooter. "Nope. Going to 'shock' the idea out of their heads about getting married is what I hope to accomplish here." Agent Clappers replies.

Waking up, Fitz and Thester soon find themselves in the basement of the Jabowski place. "What this the Jabowski place!" Fitz asked.

"Why yes it is!" said Granny Jabowski. "We brought you both here so you can shock not only the gay out of you two, but to shock the idea of you guys getting married!" Mr. Jabowski says. Agent Clappers makes a quick phone call to Terry Two Toes, Agent Clappers tells the new Mayor over his phone. "We got 'em!" Terry Two Toes says, "Awesome! Do whatever you can to keep them captive!" "We will do! I'll keep in touch, Goodbye!" Agent Clappers says to Terry Two Toes over the phone.

"There is no fucking way we are going to allow an interracial marriage ruin our small backwater hick conservative town!" Bo says.

Fitz and Thester both notice the shock collars on their necks. "What the fuck! A shock collar!" Fitz shouted. "Whatever are you going to do with us?" asked Thester.

"If either of you talk about getting married or overturning that law. I will push this button and both of you will get the shock of a lifetime!" Agent Clappers says. "You'll both be like Jet Li in Unleashed!" Mr. Jabowski tells Fitz and Thester.

"Things always work out somehow." Fitz begins. Thester joins in, "That's right! Enjoy torturing us while you can!" Fitz stated, "Terry Two Toes won't be Mayor forever! One way or another we're going to take that law and..." before Fitz or Thester could say anything else. Agent Clappers presses the button. Fitz and Thester both receive a five second shock from their shock collars. Fitz and Thester both scream at the pain from the shock collars.

"Think before you speak about marriage!" Bo laughed. "I thought I saw their bones!" Cooter laughs too.

At the Dippin Dots building. Brett DeMarco is still having Frank, Pedro, and Marcos watch everything Fitz and Thester were going through. He tells the Legion of DOOOOOM members, "Looks like they're goners."

"This is worse than Young and The Restless!" Frank rolls his eyes. "They're our real leaders." Pedro implies. "We should go out there and help!" Marcos speaks out.

"Oh no we won't! I want to make sure they both get killed so I can take over." Brett DeMarco says. Jerry lets out a gurgle then says, "I hope Fitz and Thester get out of there soon so they can play with me."

Back at the Jabowski house, Electric Funeral by Black Sabbath plays in a short montage as Fitz and Thester keep making objections at Agent Clappers and the Jabowskis about the Anti Interracial Marriage law only to lead for them to get shocked with the shock collar. This keeps going on for thirty minutes or so until Fitz and Thester both vomit which causes the shock collars to malfunction.

Agent Clappers presses the button and the shock collars were broken. Bo says. "Aww shit!" Cooter says, "Was hopin' they'd die so we can sell their organs." "NO! NO! WORK DAMMIT WORK!" Agent Clappers hollers as he pummels the heel of his hand on the remote.

Fitz and Thester rise from the floor and take off their shock collars. "See? What did we tell you!" Fitz said with pride. "We are not your captives anymore!" Thester says.

"Yeah, well as long as Terry Two Toes remains mayor. You're still stuck here until I can beat your brains out so badly. That you both can forget about each other for good!" Agent Clappers says.

"We won't let 'em get away." Granny Jabowski says getting her shot gun. "Now that your shock collars are beyond repair after me and Thester threw up, we're leaving this shit hole and getting married!" Fitz tells them.

"It'll be the most beautiful wedding ever! We'll be sure to RSVP you!" Thester says giggling.

Agent Clappers and the Jabowskis block the open door to their basement. "You know there's one thing you didn't take into account..." Fitz tells Clappers and the Jabowskis.

"What is it?" Mr. Jabowski tried to dare the Kingpin. "That piece of paper isn't the real amendment." told Fitz. "Where are you going with this?" asks Agent Clappers. "The paper you guys have is just a copy." Thester tells Agent Clappers and the Jabowskis. "WHAT?!" Granny Jabowski screeched. Fitz takes out the real amendment and shows it to the Jabowskis and Agent Clappers. "I got the real one all along! Good thing I got my trusty Zippo lighter with me!" Fitz boasted as he took his zippo lighter and burned up the law amendment that banned Interracial Marriage. "HA! Jokes on you assholes! Now you'll have to watch us get married!" Thester said slyly.

Agent Clappers yells out, "YOU SONS OF BITCHES!" Fitz stops them from trying to attack by saying "WAIT! There's another thing you should know about me! When I was a policeman I used to break down doors." Fitz says. "That's right. Can you break down anything else, Fitz?" asked Thester.

"I can! Like this wall! HEEE-YYYAAWW!" Fitz used every ounce of strength he had to kick down the basement wall to the Jabowski place. When the wall was broken, Fitz and Thester ran out. Agent Clappers called Terry Two Toes again. The Jabowskis chase Fitz and Thester into the back woods forest and Agent Clappers joins the chase.

Running after Fitz and Thester. Agent Clappers calls Terry Two Toes again. "Mayor Terry Two Toes!" answers Terry Two Toes. "We captured them both. Turns out Fitz escaped from the hospital. Now they've both escaped!" Agent Clappers explains.

"How about this, try to assassinate them if you catch up to them. In the meantime I'll get my protesters to block the church in case they they to tie the knot." Terry Two Toes orders.

"Okay, Mayor. I won't let you down!" Agent Clappers says hanging up his cellphone. "Shit! I forgot to tell him Fitz destroyed the amendment!" The Jabowskis stopped running. Agent Clappers wondered why. "Why did everyone stop?"

Bo says, "We got dem booby traps all over the forest!" Cooter added, "Yeppers. They's gonna be dead soon." Sure enough the Jabowski's were right. Fitz and Thester run through the forest and see a whole bunch of booby traps ahead of them. Everything from chain saws hanging on trees and barbed wires wrapped around. The ground was full of land mimes.

"Oooh they got us good, Fitz. There's no way we'll ever get past all that!" Thester said. "Yes there is! Remember what Roger from American Dad said to Stan! There's always a way around things!" Fitz assures Thester.

"No way around that! Eehhhhh! We're going to end up like those causalities from the Final Destination movies!" Thester panics. "No we won't! Not with me around!" Fitz says. Seeing a pogo stick sitting next to one of the trees, Fitz takes it and gets on.

"Piggyback Thester! Piggyback!" Fitz says about to jump away. Thester climbs onto Fitz's back like in a piggyback ride. Fitz uses the pogo stick to high super high over the booby traps. "Woo hoo! Fun! I'm loving this!" Thester cheers. "Without me where would we be!" Fitz says. Agent Clappers and the Jabowskis try to spot Fitz and Thester, but could not.

Fitz was still jumping on the pogo stick with Thester on his back. Thanks to Fitz's quick thinking, he and Thester avoided the booby traps.

"OKay! Thanks for helping anyway, Jabowskis. Carry on with your day. I'll take them out myself!" Agent Clappers says. Granny Jabowski gives Agent Clappers her rifle, "You're gonna need this, sonny boy!"

"Thank you!" Agent Clappers says on his way to assassinate Fitz and Thester. In Agent Clappers car, Terry Two Toes was still having Robbie and Delbert drive him all around.

"Wow! This is awesome! I hope this never ends!" Robbie says. "There's not one woman following us that I would like to fuck!" implied Delbert. Fitz and Thester landed near a men's clothing store on the pogo stick.

"Thank the stars for that pogo stick! Or we'd be chopped tallywaggers!" Thester said. "You know I wouldn't let that happen." Fitz tells him. Entering the Men's clothing store, Fitz and Thester go around to try to look for some tuxedos for their wedding.

"We're almost to the finish line. We're going to pick out tuxedos for our wedding! Then we'll get married in front of the whole town and fuck them all up the ass!" Fitz yelled.

"Things are finally getting better for us. Now all we have to worry about is what color should we pick?" asked Thester. "Anything but white, you and I are not virgins you know." Fitz suggests. "That's true." Thester agreed. "All that premarital sex we've had we'll need some colors." said Fitz. "Yeah, something that will really stand out." says Thester.

Momentarily, Fitz and Thester walked out of the Men's Clothing Store. They were now dressed in tuxedos for their wedding. Fitz's tuxedo was lavender with dark purple trimmings, a lavender top hat, and a tie with grey dress shoes. Thester's tuxedo was yellow with orange trimmings, a yellow top hat, and a bow tie with brown dress shoes.

"You look totally adorable in that yellow tux, Thester!" Fitz cooed. "You look cute yourself!" Thester laughed. Across the street, they see the local Catholic Church. That same place where Fitz, Thester, and all the other Legion of DOOOOOM members were beaten by an angry Irish Priest and Nuns.

"This places takes me back." Fitz said as Thester and he walked to the front door. "Yeah when we lost all that money." Thester recalled. "That's all in the past now. Back when I had to pretend like I hated you." Fitz implies. On top of the roof, Agent Clappers with vigor and determination, now armed with Granny Jabowski's rifle was ready to stop them at any cost. Agent Clappers lies in wait to see if Fitz and Thester will go inside. "Hmm, I sure have a knack for going up on roofs!" Agent Clappers says.

In Agent Clappers car, the Parade stops. Terry Two Toes gets out along with Robbie and Delbert. All the protesters gather around the Paradise Pentacoastal Church just next door to the Catholic Church. "Keep protesting people! And don't stop! If they come, block their path!" Terry Two Toes orders his followers. The protesters who followed Terry Two Toes were now at the Pentacostal Church.

The Catholic Church was empty. The only person there is the Irish Priest. The minute he took sight of Fitz and Thester, he yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE!"

"We want to get married as soon as possible!" Fitz demanded. "NO! I shall not do something so sinful against God that I will let two gay men get married! Don't you both know you can burn in hell for that? And what of that law Mayor Terry Two Toes signed?" The Irish Priest shouted.

"That law was destroyed! In fact it was us who did it!" Thester chirped. "Sin is not allowed in here! Neither is law breaking! Get out of my church!" the Irish Priest yells. Fitz points a gun at the Irish Priest. "You better marry us or it'll cost you your life!"

"Fine!" The Irish Priest reluctantly agrees. Going to be podium, and about to read from his Bible. "Dearly beloved we are gathered here..." The Irish Priest starts. A pounding on one of the stained glass windows on the roof of the Church. Agent Clappers screams twenty times over. "STOP! I FORBID THIS MARRIAGE! I FORBID THIS MARRIAGE! I FORBID THIS MARRIAGE!"

"Mother fucker! I hate Clappers so much! He's pulling a 'Graduate' on us!" Fitz said. "I have no choice but to listen to him, there will be no gay marriage in my church! Now GO!" Thester follows Fitz sadly out of the Catholic Church. Soon, as they exit, Agent Clappers gets ready to shoot them.

"Gotcha last!" Agent Clappers whispers. "This'll teach you both to destroy Mayor Two Toes law!"

Thester fell onto the concrete and cried. "Thester. You okay?" asks Fitz with concern. "All this shit people are putting us though. I can't stand it anymore." Thester sobbed.

"I know. If anyone is to blame it's Terry Two Toes. He wants to get back at me because I shot him in the head when he was in jail, Now, I hope I meet that mother fucker face to face." Fitz said. "Everyone here wants us apart. If we can't be together...maybe we should kill ourselves. Remember when I used to say 'Just Say The Word, Boss?'" Thester cried.

"Yeah I do. Maybe it's about time I told you something." Fitz said to Thester. "What is it?" Thester asks. "Instead of killing ourselves like in that 1996 Romeo and Juliet movie. We should marry someplace else." says Fitz. "Like where?" Thester asked his boyfriend.

"The Paradise PD building is vacant too you know. There's that helicopter in there. What I am planning is to take that helicopter and fly somewhere else to exchange our vows." Fitz says with kindness. "Okay that could work." Thester slowly begins to feel better.

"We'll go to a state where they allow gays to get married. Like New England. We'll go to Massachuettes. Or even better! Vermont! That state is Socialist!" Fitz speaks out.

"Yeah we can." Thester said. Fitz and Thester were on their way to the Paradise PD building to steal the police helicopter, then they find themselves bombarded by protesters.

"BOO! BOO! BOO!" "YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!" "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" "GET OUT BEFORE YOU GET YOURSELVES HURT!" Terry Two Toes sits on the steps on the Pentacostal Church enjoying what he had started.

"It's useless. There's no way we will ever get past these protesters." Thester said. "We both are good fighters so maybe we can beat them all up and go into that church then..." Fitz said before he gets cut off.

Agent Clappers on the roof shoots the rifle at Fitz and Thester. Both Fitz and Thester receive bullets in the back of their heads. "Yes! They're dead! Those tuxedos of theirs sucked! They looked like Dumb and Dumber. Now I like to call them Dead and Deader!"

At the Dippin Dots' Building. Brett DeMarco was delighted to see Fitz and Thester get shot in the heads. "My dream has come true!" Brett DeMarco was ecstatic with joy.

Frank, Pedro, and Marcos looked with shock that Fitz and Thester had been shot in the back of their heads. "Oh please. Don't tell me they're dead." Pedro says. "I know! There were so many war movies I wanted to show to Thester! I was going to show him Patton with George C. Scott!" Frank says. "Santa Maria, guess is this the end." Marcos added on.

Brett says, "So it seems like short chubby Chris Farley and tall black David Spade have kicked the bucket! DeMarco is your new master now! You will only obey me from now on!" Jerry looked worried as he gurgled with concern. Agent Clappers jumped down from the Catholic Church to join Terry Two Toes on the steps of the Pentacostal Church. "Good work!" Terry Two Toes says. "Was glad to do it! Now Paradise is not only safe from the Kingpin but from an Interracial Marriage too!" Agent Clappers said.

In a twist of fate. Fitz and Thester pick themselves up from the concrete. The both of them feel very invincible. The whites in the eyes were purple and their eyeballs were red.

"Thester! How do you feel right now?" Fitz asked in a voice that sounded almost possessed. "Feel cheerio!" Thester said in a quasi-possessed voice too.

"Can you believe we survived bullets in our heads?" Fitz asks. "I know! But why?" asked Thester.

"Don't you know what this means? We're like Gina now! We have all the powers that she has!" Fitz exclaimed. "Yeah you're right! But only we didn't end up in a 20 year coma like she did!" Thester agrees. "Correct! I feel so powerful like I want to slice and dice!" Fitz growled. "Maybe we ought to!" Thester growled himself.

"Let's start by hacking up and mutilating those fucking protesters!" Fitz said. "That'll be excellent!" Thester said. The siren from Kill Bill plays as Fitz and Thester had their sights on Agent Clappers, Terry Two Toes and the protesters.

"Now, everybody is going to die!" Fitz said. "We'll teach them to repress us!" Thester added on. The protesters voices come to a stop when they all hear some extremely blood curdling screams come from the sky. The protesters look and see Fitz and Thester were jumping down before them.

Agent Clappers screams, "WHAT THE FUCK! I THOUGHT I KILLED THEM!" Terry Two Toes sees Fitz and Thester coming after the protesters and tells them all, "FUCK! THEY ARE COMING FOR US! Come inside the church!"

Disturb's Land Of Confusion plays.

That was a huge mistake. Once the protesters go inside the church, Fitz and Thester begin to brutalize, blast, punch, kick, explode, decapitate, pulverise, clobber, crush, and obliterate anyone who came their way. Chopped off heads, limbs, blood splatter, organs ripped out, brains beaten. Terry Two Toes sees Fitz and Thester practically mutilate all the protesters to their deaths.

"CLAPPERS! DO SOMETHING!" Terry Two Toes demands. Robbie and Delbert were speechless and ran away thinking they were going to be next. Agent Clappers points to Fitz and Thester, "I'm gonna hunt you down!"

Once Fitz and Thester heard Clapper's threat. The fly over to him, Fitz punches Clappers in the side of the head that nearly ripped his head off. Now Agent Clapper's head was hanging to the side. Thester took down his pants, and gave Clappers a mega wedgie. Then Fitz ripped off Clapper's penis and stuffed it in his anus.

Thester got a hold of Clapper's big balls and tied them in a knot. Terry Two Toes then comes to Fitz and Thester. "Try to get past me, mother fuckers! No matter what, as long as I'm Mayor, you both will never..."

Fitz goes to a stained glass window in the Pentacoastal Church and breaks it with his bare fist. Thester and Fitz pick up the broken pieces which were now shards of glass. Then they proceed to stab up Terry Two Toes with the glass shards all over his body until he drew his last breath.

Blood was pouring out of the Pentacoastal Church from the now dead protesters and Terry Two Toes. Fitz and Thester then take the now dead Terry Two Toes and throw him on the blood stained steps. The song ends and the scene fades.

Brett DeMarco watched everything, "They survived!? is that possible?" The door to the conference room blew open. Fitz and Thester entered. "You guys are alive! I'm so happy!" said Frank.

"We missed you Putos!" said Pedro. "Santa Maria, you guys really kicked ass! We saw everything!" Marcos added. "I hated having Terry Two Toes in charge!" said Frank. "Does this mean you're the Mayor now?" asked Pedro. "We have an announcement to make. We are leaving Paradise!" Fitz tell Brett and the Legion of DOOOOOM! "You are! Good!" Brett said. "You want the Legion of DOOOOOM so badly you can have it!" Fitz spat in Brett's face.

"This town and state have not been good to us! So we are DONE!" Thester shouts. "Give us half the money we made from the meth!" Fitz orders. "I'm going to miss you guys. Where are you going to go?" asked Marcos. "None of your business! You'll never see us again!" Thester says.

Brett DeMarco gives Fitz and Thester half the earnings the Legion of DOOOOOM made from their Argyle and Houndstooth meth. "Take this money and stick it up your asses! I never liked you guys anyway!" Brett DeMarco bids them good riddance. Fitz and Thester bolted out of the conference room. Never to return again.

"Now that they're gone, I'm in charge! We are all going to make the town of Paradise a living HELL! If you think Terry Two Toes was bad. I am going to be twice as worse as he is! I am your leader, as we say in Italian, PER SEMPRE!" Frank, Jerry, Pedro, and Marcos trembled in fear. They soon accept Brett DeMarco as the new leader of the Legion of DOOOOM.

One month later.

Agent Clappers was in the hospital. Getting his penis sewn back on and his testicles untwisted. Which proved to be a long procedure.

Randall, Karen, and the Paradise PD all came back from Acapulco. The first thing they see is the dead Terry Two Toes and the now blood stained steps to the Pentacostal Church.

"HOLY FUCK! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED!" screamed Randall. "Yeah we were gone for a month and someone committed a mass murder!" Kevin said. "I'm gonna lose my shit! I ate really big back in Mexico!" Dusty speaks.

"All these dead bodies! I can't stand the sight! This isn't what I wanted to see when we came back from our honeymoon!" Karen panicked at the sight.

Stanley states, "Maybe the culprit was Peter Lorre from the Movie M! Boy did he know how to finger bang a man or what!" Looking at the dead torn apart body of Terry Two Toes, "Hey, look. Terry Two Toes! I thought he was dead!" Kevin said. Dusty says, "My god you're right, Kevin. How the hell did he come back from the dead?"

Bullet sniffs all around, "Even my sense of sniff can't figure out who did this. However, I am high as fuck and I love the smell of rotting bodies anyway!"

Gina was disappointed, "I am never going on vacation again! Why didn't anyone invite me to bust these fuckers! Damned Twat Waffles!"

"As Mayor, and you guys are now back home. I demand you clean up all these dead bodies at once!" Karen ordered. "Yes, your excellency! It will be done!" Dusty tells Karen. "Don't call me excellency! Get rid of those bodies! That's the last thing this town needs!" Karen cried out.

"Well, back to police work." Randall tells everyone. "Should we find out who did this?" asked Kevin. "No, their bodies are too torn apart. We'll never know." Gina added on. "Gina's right. We may never know who committed such a mass murder." Randall stated.

"Guess you can call this a perfect murder! Dude, Joe Kenda is full of shit!" Bullet jokes. "From now on! I'm working full time! No more days off for me!" Gina promises. Dusty lets out a huge attack of diarrhea that pours all over Terry Two Toes, and the protesters. "Sorry fellas! Holdover from Mexico." Dusty apologizes. "GOD DAMMIT DUSTY! Now we have to clean your shit too?" Randall screamed.

Karen was back in her position as Mayor. The Paradise PD were back at work. Dusty's diarrhea and the dead bodies were soon cleaned off. Kevin later got word that Brett DeMarco was now the new Houndstooth and Argyle Meth Kingpin. The crime rate in Paradise has risen over 200% since Brett DeMarco took over. But that didn't stop the Paradise PD from solving crimes.

The scene changes into a city. The caption reads "QUINTON KANSAS." There was a neighborhood of mansions all around. The city was one where rich black people lived. It was also the new home of Fitz and Thester. Who got married in Vermont and decided to settle in Quinton Kansas. They never saw the Legion of DOOOOOM or the Paradise PD again.

Never to be drug dealers, a kingpin or a lackey again.

Fitz bought out a failing post office. He bought it and he and Thester took it over. Now they're making even more money with the new and improved post office. It shows a bunch of employees Fitz and Thester hired to work there. All of them were doing a good job. Fitz ran the post office from his house. SO his employees were the ones working there. He gave them all equal pay.

In the backyard of the mansion where they now resided, Fitz and Thester take a walk. "We kicked Terry Two Toes ass!" Fitz says. "That we did! We've been to hell and back!" Thester concedes. "No more criminal lifestyle for us." Fitz says. "Being a regular person is great! Less stressful too." Thester said.

"I am so happy we left Paradise Georgia." Fitz said. "This place is way better!" Thester agrees. "Unlike Randall, I treat my employees with respect." Fitz says. "When we bought that post office, some people love working there they don't want to leave." Thester says.

"One thing is. We are finally together. Nothing will ever rip us away." Fitz says. "I am so happy to be with you, Fitz. Gotta admit, back there I thought we were goners." Thester said.

"Important thing is, we survived and we have a better life now." Fitz said. "I am loving this neighborhood!" Thester said.

"A rich black neighborhood is better to me than a small backwater hick town. Fuck Paradise!" said Fitz. "It's awesome to be the only white man in an all black neighborhood! Art Alexakis can suck it out his ass!" Thester laughs.

"We have the one thing here we didn't have in Paradise." Fitz tells Thester. "Whatever could it be?" Thester asked. "The fact we're well respected!" Fitz said.

In their big back yard, Fitz and Thester begin to chase each other in a fun way. The sky is shown. Five years have passed. Then the scene goes back to Fitz and Thester. Who now had three sons. Their oldest was named DeQuan. Their middle son was named LaShawn, their youngest son was named Markeith.

The Fitzgerald family was looking at their mansion with pride. Fitz has a flag of Africa in his back yard. Fitz, Thester, DeQuan, LaShawn, and Markeith all salute that flag with pride.

Day by day their lives improved. For Fitz and Thester now had a better life. A better life they could ever have hoped for or imagined.

The End

The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!

One thing's for sure. A Fitz and Thester love story sure beats a Kevin and Gina love story any day! Please, review!
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