FicWad

To Walk on Water (to do something that is impossible.)
California, September 2014, Fall
Tweek suddenly registered how long he’d been staring at Craig, making totally sure he was accurately reading him. Those soft brown eyes framed by long black lashes blinked at him gently, and Craig suddenly beamed.
“Tricia?”
“Yeah. My little sister. She tracked us down.”
He jumped to his feet, beginning to pace back and forth across the bedroom floor the way he did when he was agitated, excited, nervous, or a mix of all three. “She left me a voicemail. You wanna hear?”
“Yeah, of course. Hey, c’mere.”
Tweek smiled up at Craig and patted the edge of the bed beside him. “Let’s hear her voicemail!”
Craig flopped down on the edge of the bed, which buckled slightly under him, throwing Tweek off balance as the mattress depressed beside him. He took Craig’s left hand and squeezed it as Craig pressed buttons on his phone with his right.
A young woman’s voice emitted from the phone, earnest and husky. Tweek instantly recognised Tricia, despite not hearing her voice for close to four years. His chest tightened and he knew he hadn’t wanted to truly admit to himself how much he’d missed Craig’s little sister.
“Craig? Hi. It’s um, it’s Tricia.
‘This is kind of out of the blue, I know. But I’d really like to talk to you. I’d love to see you, if possible.
‘I um, I actually moved to California a few weeks ago. I got into UCLA, for Political Science. I’m living on campus here, I heard you guys are in Pasadena? And, ah, the lawyers weren’t sure where to find you. But I got that horrible fucking protection order revoked, it just came through from being processed this evening. You’ll be formally notified in the next day or two, but I talk to my legal aid person a lot, so she sent me a text.
‘Ha. Where to begin? Um. On my eighteenth birthday, nearly a year ago now, I finally left Mom and Dad’s house. I appealed to the Colorado Court of Appeals to revisit the case on the grounds that it was manifestly unjust and all evidence was hearsay, yadda yadda yadda. So, you don’t need to worry about being served before you contact me because they held there was no jurisdiction to make the order since it was an obvious abuse of power and corrupt, so it was never legally valid. It took nearly a year, and it was a kind of a gap year with me just living in Denver, working at the grocery store, and renting a gross little bedsit, but here I am. Finally.’
‘Ugh, sorry, I’m rambling. Just, um, call me when you get this. I don’t care if it’s late or whatever. Please. It’s, ha. It’s legal now. Finally. Christ. Ok, see ya. I – I love you. Both of you. Ok. Bye.”
Craig was squeezing Tweek’s hand tightly. Tweek didn’t realise until the voicemail had finished and her voice had ceased filling their room.
Tweek looked at Craig and saw the tears spilling on his cheeks. Silently Tweek opened his arms and enveloped Craig, who wrapped his arms tightly around Tweek’s waist and buried his face in his neck. Tweek could feel the heat coming off of Craig’s damp face, and knew he was overcome with emotion. Tweek wasn’t at all surprised as he slowly rubbed Craig’s back with one hand and stroked his hair with the other, wordlessly letting him cry.
Craig slowly raised his head to meet Tweek’s eyes. His were painfully bloodshot, but he beamed at Tweek through his tears. Tweek smiled back as he cupped Craig’s face and stroked his cheek with his thumb. “Angel. I’m so, so happy for you. For her. For us. This is amazing.”
He planted a kiss on Craig’s forehead.
“I just need to know that you’re ready for this.”
Craig placed his hand over Tweek’s, their free hands clasped across their knees as they sat together on the edge of their bed.
Craig gulped hard and nodded, his warm eyes still locked on Tweek.
“Yeah. Even right this second. Even when they told me I couldn’t see her, I needed to.”
He leaned forward and gently kissed Tweek on the lips.
“I know it’s late, but I’m going to call her.”
Tweek smiled and nodded. Reassuringly, he squeezed Craig’s free hand as Craig took a deep breath and hit Return Call.

Her roommate was asleep, but Tricia wasn’t. She lay in her twin bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark. Even with the little foam earplugs in, she could still hear drunken yelling on the street outside. Fortunately they’d kick you out if you made noise inside the dorms after ten. Tricia wasn’t used to city noise, or having a lot of people around her all the time.
From the bedside table, her phone suddenly lit up in the dark, illuminating the room. Her roommate stirred but did not wake. Tricia quickly slipped out of bed, grabbing her phone, and silently hurried out into the hallway.
She wasn’t used to it being so warm outside at night, but she loved it. Her roommate was from Florida and didn’t understand how she still considered it to be warm in mid-fall.
Tricia smoothed her camisole and adjusted her sleep shorts, trying to feel composed as she took a deep shaky breath. Come on, girl. You can do this.
A smile played on her face as she saw Craig? confirmed across the screen.
She pressed the green phone icon.
“Craig?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Hey, Tricia.”
His voice was deeper than she remembered, even deeper than it had been in the recorded voicemail message she had babbled in response to earlier that evening. She was glad to hear that the nasal quality his voice had retained as a child was still as notably absent as it had been in the voicemail message. He must have finally got the treatment for his sinus infections that Thomas wouldn’t pay for.
His tone was warm, inviting, equipped to put her at ease even though she could tell he was nervous as hell.
“Wow. It’s so good to hear your voice. Seriously.”
He laughed shakily.
“Yeah. You too. Wow.”
“How are you, Craig?”
“I’m good thanks, how are you?”
“I’m good, thanks.”
She cringed at herself for parroting him, but she could feel the smile in his voice. Calm down. It’s fine.
“I’m really glad. Hey, sorry I didn’t answer your call earlier.”
“No, that’s fine! I rang Tweek first.”
“I know. Is that how you got my number?”
“Yeah. I hope that’s ok.”
Beside Tweek, Craig suddenly stood and strode across the room, a cathartic little laugh spilling out of him.
“Ok – Tricia. I. Am. So glad you rang me. And – the order – I – fuck. You have no idea.”
“Yeah, I do. Of course I do.”
Suddenly Tricia found herself crying. Impatiently she rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand.
His voice was concerned. “Trish? Are you ok?”
She took a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m ok. Are you?”
He nodded, then remembered she couldn’t see him. “Ha, I just nodded! Yeah. I’m great.”
He smiled at Tweek as he left the room, slipping down the hallway and outside to sit on the chair outside the front door. He watched the moths flutter around his head in the glow of the light from indoors.
“Tricia? How did you get hold of us?”
There was a pause.
“I went to Tweek’s dad. Before – well.”
“Yeah.”
Tricia leaned against the wall of her dorm building, feeling the cold gritty concrete against her bare arms and legs. It made her feel more grounded.
“So, um. Is he – is he ok? Fuck. Sorry. That’s such a stupid question. Of course he isn’t.”
Craig glanced back at the house and saw all the windows were shut.
“No, it’s not a stupid question. He, well. He wasn’t ok for a long time. But I think he’s starting to be. Slowly.”
“Of course. Poor Tweek. Jesus.”
He paused, biting a nail.
“I, uh, I know he’d love to see you. He was so excited when I told him you rang.”
He bit his nail a little too hard. He tasted blood and felt the uncomfortable sharp pain.
“I’d love to see you too, Tricia. I really, really would.”
She found herself with tears in her eyes again, and sniffed hard.
“So would I.”

Craig’s heart thumped against the seatbelt as he fidgeted in the passenger seat, tapping his fingers against the door and his feet on the floor. Tweek let him DJ the music, and he’d chosen Who Killed Amanda Palmer as it always calmed him down. Have to Drive lilted, reaching its dynamic climax as Tweek indicated to merge onto the 405.
We'll have to drive
They're getting closer
Just get inside
It's almost over

They reached a stop sign. As the car ceased moving, Craig felt Tweek’s eyes on him.
He glanced over at Tweek, who smiled at him. Wordlessly he checked both oncoming traffic directions and pulled forward.
We will save your brothers
We will save your cousins
We will drive them
Far away from streets and signs
From all signs of mad mankind
Craig coughed.
“Ugh, sorry. This song is making me want to kill myself, hahaha. Let’s put on something more cheerful.”
Tweek laughed. “Sure thing, honey. It’s your call. I love your taste in music.”
The sun streamed through the window as Blake Says began.
As he listened to the words, Tweek’s anxiety formed a lump in his throat that threatened to choke him.
But trust me, he’s no valentine, though he said he would be mine
His heart is in Alaska all the time...

He gripped the steering wheel and tried to focus on the road.

Blake stays underwater for the most part

He breaks their heart by saying ‘it’s not permanent’

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Craig’s sweet open face gazing contentedly out the window. They had elected to take the longer yet apparently faster driving route past the mountain range and around, rather than driving through urban LA.

And Blake’s been having trouble with his head again
He takes his pills but never takes his medicine
He tells me that he’s fine, and the sad thing is he’s right.
And when it’s 2 o’clock it feels like nine.

Tweek had truly, genuinely, deeply loved Tricia. He didn’t expect that to have changed, and couldn’t wait to see her.
But he hadn’t told Craig what had been keeping him up for the past week.
His calculations based on the date of Tricia’s eighteenth birthday last year confirmed what he had long suspected but refused to let himself acknowledge until it was staring him in the face.
He had always been bad with time. Since his parents’ death it had been worse. Thinking of birthdays helped him punctuate the seasons.
Craig had been born in January 1994, and Tweek a few months later in August. In September 2014 they were both twenty. Tricia was less than two years younger than her brother, born in October 1995. She would have be turning nineteen in the next couple of weeks.
He remembered them all attending his parents’ tin wedding anniversary back in 1999, not long before Y2K, not that he understood what was happening at the time.
Tricia had been really excited about turning four. His parents had been so enamoured with her, his mother in particular. When they were that young, Craig regularly used to bring his sister around to the Tweak’s house with him. It was obvious that the Tucker children weren’t that well looked after.
Realising that her parents wouldn’t be giving her any kind of recognition of her birthday, Tweek’s parents had invited Craig and Tricia to what was just meant to be a special dinner for the two of them and Tweek and told the kids it was a special early celebration for Tricia’s birthday. They had changed their high end restaurant plans to pizza and cake at their house with a Disney movie and bought her a Rapunzel dress that she had insisted on wearing home.
When Craig’s parents had realised, they had thrown out the dress and warned the Tweaks not to try and raise their damn children.
My parents were so kind to children. I was sure of that.
What the fuck happened? Seriously, how the fuck am I supposed to unpack that?
Reflecting on this had forced Tweek to admit what he hadn’t wanted to. The Friday coming would have marked Tweek’s parents’ silver wedding anniversary.
A little after they had moved to Pasadena, Tweek had noticed a beautiful silver antique frame in the window of a Red Cross charity shop near campus. He had given the kind-faced old lady working there a hundred dollars for it, despite her insisting it was only worth a couple of bucks.
He had filled it with a selection of pictures of his parents and himself, and put it in the back of the cupboard to gift them when their silver anniversary came. He had left a couple of the photo spaces free, intending to add in some recent photos when he gave it to them and in particular some from their anniversary celebration. Now he had shoved it to the back of the cupboard where he didn’t have to look at it. He couldn’t stop himself thinking about it, though.
Tweek had so many painfully conflicting feelings about his parents.
He had adored his parents as a kid, and they had doted on him as their only child.
When he reached adolescence and started to feel what he felt for Craig, he knew they suspected. He had come out to them when he was fifteen, a conversation complicated by his imploring them to keep it secret, as Craig was rightfully terrified of his parents finding out. And while Tweek knew his parents still loved him and supported him, he knew they weren’t exactly approving or proud of his sexuality. Their relationship wasn’t the same. He had accepted then that it never truly would be. It was only further compromised by their refusing to allow Craig to park his trailer on their property even without knowing of their breakup. They hadn’t noticed Tweek sleepwalking through his junior year. At the same time, they were the only family he had besides Craig. After Craig shut him out and his friends turned their backs, his parents were all he had left in the world.
When they died, it had broken his heart.
When he tried to come to terms with the manner in which he had lost them, it had broken his heart all over again. But his view of them was tainted.
When he learned they had abused him horribly from when he was in kindergarten by giving him methamphetamine for reasons he couldn’t even begin to guess at, the entire foundation of his world had crumbled. By then home was his flat in Pasadena with Craig, whom he knew was the true love of his life. But he still missed his parents’ home in Colorado where he had spent his entire life treating as a sanctuary before that.
It had been months since he had found out about his meth addiction. Even then he hadn’t been able to tell Craig, letting him believe that his fog and lethargy was entirely attributable to grief. It was just too much to say out loud, or even to entirely admit to himself on a conscious level. Every time he saw a little boy or girl he had to choke back tears, at a complete loss as to how anyone could do that to a child.
He kept promising himself he would tell Craig. But first it simply hurt too much to talk about. Then he started to feel better and didn’t want to risk that by ripping the wound open again. And then he didn’t want to distract Craig from studying for his GED, which he needed to be considered for managerial positions at work.
Deep down he knew there would never be a perfect time to tell him, but that he had to.
Even deeper down, he wondered if he had every truly forgiven Craig for leaving him.
Tweek knew he needed to admit to himself that despite feeling better that summer and for the past term, he was really beginning to struggle again.
He had been planning on quietly telling Craig about his sadness over the upcoming anniversary on the night that Tricia rang. After Craig had unwound after work and gotten into a good headspace for accomplishing a good amount of GED preparation. He would quietly, gently tell him what was upsetting him as they cuddled under the bedclothes. He was having a good day. He could discuss it rationally without it spiralling into late night sobbing and them both staying up far too late and facing the following day exhausted.
But he wasn’t going to upstage Tricia. While he was ecstatic about the return to their lives of one of the few people he had ever loved, he knew what this meant for Craig.
It wasn’t exactly jealousy. It just added an extra, complicated layer to his ongoing grief.
You don’t get to be sad right now. You need to hold it together for him this time.
He steeled himself and squeezed Craig’s hand in his lap as they sped down the freeway.
“Hey, honey. You alright?”
“Yeah, I am. I know it’s weird, but I’m not sad at all. I just really can’t wait to see her. I didn’t know if I ever would be able to.”
He smiled as he settled his hand on Tweek’s leg while Tweek touched the gearstick.
Settling into fifth, Tweek gently lifted Craig’s hand to his mouth and kissed it.
“I’m so proud of you. I love seeing you so happy. You really fucking deserve it.”
Craig beamed at him as they reached the side streets surrounding UCLA.
“Ok, angel. You tell me where to go.”

Nervously she plucked at her lacy white shirt, checking it again for stains. It’s fine. Besides, this is your brother. Your stinky older brother who used to read comics in the toilet when the dishes were being done and invariably take the last Pudding Pack. She smiled to herself, swinging her legs slightly as she sat on the park bench outside her dorm.
A stern voice in her mind chastised her.
Don’t swing your legs. You’re grownups now.
A softer, more rational voice emerged.
It’s Craig. He loves you for exactly who you are.
She pushed her hands under her long thighs, feeling the warm denim of her jeans and the cooler polished wood of the bench. If she kept her hands under there she couldn’t check her watch.
Tricia felt her heart thump wildly in her ears as a beaten up Toyota drove slowly by. That’s the one. Craig had reminder her of the exact make and model to look out for, but she didn’t really speak car.
The last time she had seen Tweek was burned into her consciousness. He had been driving that car then. She knew she’d never forget every detail of that day.
The last time she had seen Craig had been the night beforehand, over four years ago now. He’d caught her eye and made a funny face to make her feel better after their father had yelled at her for spilling her drink at the dinner table. Thomas had looked at him a millisecond too quickly for him to drop his eyes. She’d heard the thumps through her bedroom wall later that night even as she pulled her pillow over her ears, her heart hammering in her mouth.
She had wanted to go into his room, but she was so scared.
After their father had gone to bed she had heard the window in Craig’s room carefully being opened and then closed again. She was so relieved that Tweek was there to comfort him.
Tricia stood up from the bench as the car slowed down, finding her legs a little wobbly. She was glad she had opted for the flat, open-toed sturdy brown sandals.
She waved, and the young man on the passenger side waved back at her, a mischievous yet warm grin on his tanned, handsome face.
Yup, that’s definitely him.
She reached the car just as Tweek carefully parked it. Craig opened the passenger door and sat for a moment, gazing up at her. Tricia smiled at him, feeling tears prick her eyes.
“Hey.”
He coughed as he stood up to face her, his own eyes suddenly wet.
“Hey.”
She opened her arms, and Craig shakily stepped into them.
Tweek stepped out of the car and closed the door. He leaned over the top, smiling at Craig and Tricia. They were both crying as they embraced.
Finally, Tricia broke apart from Craig, warmly squeezing her arm around Craig’s shoulders as she playfully poked her tongue out at Tweek. Tweek laughed as she hurried forward to give him a spine-cracking bear hug, and felt tears pricking his own eyes.
Craig spoke first. “Fuck. I just – Tricia. I never thought this day would come. Jesus.”
He wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand, and Tricia smiled as she recognised her own habit in her brother.
“I know, me too. I’m so glad you’re both here. Honestly I can’t really believe it.”
She let out the breath she had been holding, reassured by the warm, stable smile on Tweek’s face as he squeezed Craig’s hand reassuringly.
“Anyway, come up to my room. My roommate’s away for the weekend so we can talk without her giving us dirty looks, or have to worry about walking in on her with her vibe or something.”
Craig laughed shakily, and she winked at Tweek.
“Plus I have iced tea and Oreos in there, come on.”

Tweek sat cross legged on the floor as Tricia and Craig sat on the twin bed. He watched as they each squeezed an Oreo in their hand, obliviously crumbling them over the bedsheets.
“Look, we don’t have to talk about this if you’re not ready. But, what exactly happened?”
She squeezed his hand, smiling reassuringly even as her eyes were haunted.
“Craig, I wasn’t going to tell you this today. But to put it bluntly, they’re in prison for perjury, eliciting perjury from a minor, and child abuse. I mean I was a kid and it was obviously duress, but they’ll be there for a long time. And ironically I managed to get a protection order.”
“For you?”
“For you.”
“Oh.”
Craig smiled thinly, looking pale and nauseous. He looked past Tricia as she gripped his hand; at a shiny blackbird flying past the window. Animals had always calmed him down.
“Thank you. I really appreciate it. To be clear, if you were worried, it’s not like they tried to contact me. But, like, how did you pull this all off? Seriously, this is really something.”
“Ha. Part of me was hoping you’d ask. Do you know Ike Broflovski?”
Tweek spoke up, twisting the label on his Lipton bottle.
“Kyle’s little brother?”
“Yeah. He was in my year at school, somehow. He’s like, fifteen.”
Tweek smiled.
“Goddamn prodigies. They’re good dudes, though. So what happened?”
“Well Ike and I ended up being really good friends. Maybe we bonded over having a gay big brother, I don’t know.”
Tweek and Craig both looked at her in surprise.
“Oh, yeah, it was the talk of the town after you guys left. He and Stan are really fucking cute together. If we’re going to rank your class by cutest couple, they’d be a second.”
Craig laughed weakly.
“I think you’d have to both graduate to be considered. So, anyway, what happened?”
“Ike and I were helping each other with college applications in our Junior year. And we got talking about what happened to you. I mean, Thomas and Laura tried to act like you never existed. So it’s not like I could risk talking to anyone about it and having their mom overhear and get me in trouble. But, yeah. After all that time, I finally told Ike. And he was disgusted, you know how close he is to Kyle. So he talked to his Dad, who got all the details from me and figured we had a case. I just had to wait until I was eighteen to bring the appeal without parental permission. So that’s exactly what I did. Thank God for legal aid, the woman I had was so fucking good. Isla. She was so stoked when I told her you guys were coming over.”
Craig looked like he was about to burst into tears. Tricia noticed, and started rubbing his back. Tweek spoke instead.
“That’s amazing, Tricia. Well done. Seriously. Goddamn.”
She laughed.
“Oh, and hey! More good news. Craig’s been studying for his GED, I have no doubt he’ll get it very soon. We’ll be so proud of you, honey.”
He gently squeezed Craig’s socked toes, smiling at Tricia.
“Seriously, Tricia. It’s so good that you’re here. And we can never repay you for what you did. Not just for being able to see you, but for Craig himself.”
Craig sniffed hard.
“Yeah. Sorry, Tweek’s way better with words than I’ll ever be.”
Tweek saw him beginning to crumble and climbed onto the bed to cuddle him tightly. He smiled at Tricia as she hugged him from the other side.
Tweek kissed his cheek softly.
“Hey, my sweet angel. It’s all going to be ok. I promise you. We’re here. We’ve got you.”