FicWad

"Ah man am I glad to be back." Frankie said stretching as they walked through the door to the farm house. Herself, Jenna and Max had just returned from the four days at the nationals where Jenna successfully competed with all three of her horses earning first with Trigger in the main competition, a first in the Veteran class with puzzle and a second in the novice class with Sully narrowly missing out on a first with him due to him having a spook in the ring causing Jenna to have to improvise in her routine which she obviously managed to pull off well having earning themselves a second place.
"No time for relaxing now, we've a party to get too." Max said never one to want to miss a good party and a drink.
"Your right I call the big bathroom." Frankie laughed running past him and up the stairs to claim the bathroom to get ready in.
"Bitch." Max sighed with a laugh looking to Jenna briefly as he noticed she was a bit quiet.
"You want first dibs on a shower give you chance to do the girly stuff whilst I shower second?" He asked her knowing it took just as long for her to dry her hair and do her make-up etc as it did for him to have a shower and get ready.
"Either or you can go first if you want." Jenna said unenthusiasticly. Max looked at her confused.
"What's up?" He said knowing she wasn't right.
"Nothing, I'm fine." Jenna tried to brush off.
"Your not fine as normally you'd have firstly made a decent attempt at wrestling frankie for the big bathroom and if that failed jumped at the chance to get in the shower before me, so come on we've not got much time we're already going to be missing some of seraya's party so what's up?" He said eyeing her over.
"Nothings wrong I'm just tired, I think I'll give the party a miss so you...." jenna tried to say casually knowing he wouldn't be likely to let her get out of it too easily.
"Wow wow wow you can't miss one of your best mates birthday parties and you need to celebrate virtually cleaning house at the nationals." Max said thinking she was crazy and realising there must be more to it than just she's tired.
"I know tell seraya I'll make it up to her..." jenna started trying to make excuses again.
"I won't tell her because you're coming to the party. What's really going on?" Max eyed her already having a good idea.
"Nothing Max just drop it I've just competed three horses in a big competition over the past four days and worked my ass off to get there for weeks I'm allowed to be tired and want an early night." Jenna said slightly more frustrated at him.
"What the hell are you two bickering about now?" Frankie shouted down from the staircase over hearing their voices.
"Nothing." Jenna called rolling her eyes knowing what was coming.
"It's not Nothing, she's saying she's not coming tonight will you tell her!" Max called to frankie for back up.
"She bloody well is jenna copeland get in that shower now before I kick your ass." Frankie said marching down with a towel in her hair and wrapped round her.
"Whats up?" Frankie asked stopping looking between the two of them. Max raised his eyebrows at her and jenna tried to avoid eye contact with her she just didn't have the energy to fight either of them.
"Well?" Frankie said looking directly at Jenna.
"I'm tired I don't feel like a party I'm just going to get an early night." Jenna tried to sneak past her.
"Nah I don't buy it Jenna copeland never turns down a party or a night out, especially her best friends birthday and just having won almost everything at the nationals. What is it?"
"I hope your not trying to avoid Benji?" Max said knowing that was exactly it but Jenna wouldn't want to admit it.
"Jenna, really seriously. OK I know there's a lot of baggage there but honestly you can't lock yourself away and miss out on things for sake of bumping into him. Anyway I thought you left it on relatively OK terms." Frankie said.
"I.. we.. I just... I can't right now." Jenna sighed not knowing how to voice all the feelings she had going on. It was like she had been so focused on the nationals that it had took the Benji situation off her mind yet now that the nationals are over its all starting to creep back.
"You said that before the nationals which I did agree with as you needed to keep your head in the game but now Jenna you need to live your life not avoid certain situations. Anyway you might not even see him, he might not even be there." Frankie said Jenna just looked at her and said nothing Max could see how much she was struggling now she wasn't focused on the nationals and might have to end up confronting the 'Benji situation'
"Look Jenna I know it's hard and I appreciate you probably are tired too but just get ready come out and see Seraya tell everyone the nationals result you know they'll be dying to hear from you and then if you still want to come home you can but you know Seraya will be sad if you don't come and you will regret it." Max tried to reason with her Jenna stood in silence almost debating everything in her head.
"Fine, one drink." She sighed but broke into a smile when she seen the look of delight in their faces.
"Yes Jenna!" Max laughed fist pumping the air.
"Whoo!" Frankie cheered.
They all finished getting ready then got a taxi to the party venue. By the time they arrived the party was already in full swing and it sounded like most people was already there.
"They're here! They're back!" Erin shouted as they walked through the door noticing them first getting everyone's attention from the circus team and a few others close by. Everyone went over to great them all saying their hellos and Max, frankie and Jenna wishing Seraya happy birthday.
"So, go on tell us how it went?" Jackie asked about the nationals.
"She fucking smashed it!" Frankie beamed before Jenna could even open her mouth.
"Really what did you get?" Seraya smiled.
"OK so Sully didn't have a great day.." Jenna started.
"There's never a great day for sully." Max rolled his eyes in jest at how he doesn't always get along with Sully's 'quirks' as Jenna calls them. Jenna just gave him the 'look'
"We had to do a bit of improv as he had a spook which is fair enough it's his first nationals, its a big show, lots going on so we took second place."
"Second place that's still very respectable anyway." Erin said. Jenna nodded.
"Puzzle first in vetrain and Trigger first in the national vaulting championship." Jenna said with a smile they all screamed, cheered, hugged her and congratulated her. It was only then that she noticed Billy, Paul and Dean had also joined the group and also congratulated her. Then she nocited Benji stood further back their eyes met for a second but then her attention was quickly brought to Max and AJ with bottles of champagne.
"Oh wait, oh no.. not this time." Jenna said ducking and running out the door before they could fizz the bottles over her causing everyone to erupt in laughter.
"Jenna come on come back and get a drink." Frankie laughed opening the door Jenna was hiding behind.
"Not until you take the bottle out of those twos hands." Jenna laughed avoiding being in reaching distance.
"Right come on you two I would quite like to drink the champagne myself too." Jackie insisted taking the bottles off Max and AJ.
"See she always was the teacher's pet." AJ said to Max in jest but so most of them could hear. Jenna just raised her eyebrows at him and smirked taking the glass of champagne from Erin as she was helping Jackie hand them out.
"Well happy birthday." Jenna smiled going over giving Seraya a big hug now everyone had started to settled down a bit.
"Thank you, I'm glad you guys made it." Seraya smiled at her.
"Me too." Jenna just smiled at her feeling a bit bad for almost chickening out of coming just because she didn't want to deal with the awkwardness that came with the Benji situation.
"Hey so how's things with.." Seraya said letting her eyes move to the direction of Benji. Jenna followed her eyes and seen Benji stood at the table talking with Joel, Dean and Billy.
"Nothings going on there." Jenna dismissed shaking her head clearly closed off to the subject. Seraya gave a slightly disappointed look but accepted Jenna wasn't open to that topic right now.
"Right well come on dance with me because you know Paul won't." Seraya said trying to lighten the mood as Jenna allowed her to lead her off to the dance floor joining Brad, Erin, AJ and a few others.

Max was stood at the bar with a beer as Jackie walked over to talk to him whilst he was alone.
"So, how's everything been?" Jackie started.
"Good yeh everything went really well at the nationals." Max smiled but preparing himself for her wanting to be more specific about Jenna which he hadn't completely figured out himself yet and Jenna had been quite tricky to read as of late.
"And how's Jenna been?" Jackie asked him specifically. Max pasued taking time to think of his answer he didn't want to worry anyone yet as he wasn't sure if he needed to be worried himself. They let their eyes find Jenna and everyone on the dance floor having a great time.
"She erm, she's been ok..." Max trailled off.
"What is it?" Jackie said knowing everything clearly wasn't fully ok.
"I'm not one hundred percent sure to be honest." Max said still not being able to put his finger on what it was that made him unsure of how Jenna really was at the moment.
"What do you mean you know Jenna better than anyone, what is it? Is she over working herself again?" Jackie frowned.
"No not at all I mean obviously she's worked her ass off lately as to be expected competing to the level she does. She's been in control and focused frankie wouldn't let her not be." Max said.
"But? There's a but in all this." Jackie said unsure of where this was going.
"Well thats the thing I'm not sure if there is anything to be worried about or not at the minute it's like while she's been training for the nationals and competing she's been focused on that and solely that which
wasn't a bad thing but now it's like there was a change in her once we got home before she tried to make excuses to not come tonight..." Max said.
"What, why?" Jackie couldn't help but blurt out. Obviously thinking the worst as Jenna did things like avoiding socialising and going out when she was being abused by Karl.
"She said because she was tired which could be the truth you know we're all tried after the nationals.."
"But thats not like Jenna. Both of you always put in the hours graft but still never turn down a party especially not a close one like Seraya's birthday." Jackie continued.
"Well exactly I think it could be because she knew there was a high chance Benji would be here and she's trying to avoid him." Max said.
"OK understandable in a way but she can't be avoiding meeting friends as good as family just because she wants to avoid whatever it is with Benji. Where is she even at with that anyway?" Jackie asked as none of them have heard much from each other as its been so full on preparing for the nationals the rest of the circus team just give Jenna, Max and Frankie the space and time they need to do their thing and support them anyway way they can.
"I'm not sure. I don't think she's spoke to him at all since the storm. She hasn't mentioned anything of him but we've not pushed her to anyway. I'd like to think she would have said something to one of us if she had but again we've been nationals, eat, sleep, repeat for the last few weeks." Max explained.
"I guess it's just a see what happens now then." Jackie said.
Max nodded as they seen Jenna walking over to them from the dance floor.
"I am done." Janne laughed sitting down clearly exhausted next to Max.
"I'm not surprised, congratulations again on the nationals we all knew you was amazing. Get the girl a drink Max-i." Jackie smiled and wondered off giving Max the eye to watch Jenna.

"You heard the lady get me a drink." Jenna grinned cheekily.
"Oh, tequila is it?" Max laughed in jest back.
"Oh no I don't think either of us are going there again." Jenna laughed.
"Champagne it is then. I mean we are celebrating your greatness." Max said pretending to bow to her.
"I don't care what it is Max just get me a drink." Jenna laughed shaking her head knowing they could be there all night trading comments otherwise.
Max signled to the bar tender and got himself another beer and Jenna a champagne.
"My lady." He nodded handing her a drink.
"Kind sir." Jenna matched his nod.
They sat in silence for a brief minute people watching.
"So what did Jackie want?" Jenna asked acting clueless but knowing full well they would jave been discussing her.
"Oh nothing really just asking about the nationals." Max said careful not to look Jenna in the eye as he knew she would see he was covering your the rest of the conversation.
"Ah right." Jenna nodded raising her eyebrows as if she accepted his answer as the full truth. They went silent again people watching.
"You know you don't need to worry about me, I'm not about to fall off the rails again..." Jenna said out right making Max turn to look at her properly. "..not yet anyway." Jenna laughed taking a sip of her drink. "See I knew you was talking about me." She said matter of factly but smiled to let him know she wasn't bothered.
"We're all just concerned about you because we care for you and love you." Max admitted knowing they was busted.
"I appreciate that I really do but please don't be treading on egg shells around me. Yes the nationals helped to give me something to focus on to help forget... other things." Jenna explained Max knew exactly what she meant by 'other things'
"I know you got worried before when I said I didn't want to come tonight but it is genuinely because I'm tired..." Jenna said.
"Were always tired Jenna we work hard but we've never turned down a party especially a special occasion." Max pointed out.
"Yes I know but when I said tired I meant not just physically from the nationals but emotionally too the Benji thing has gone on for so long and there's been so much drama around it I just really can't do it anymore." Jenna said looking down playing with her nail and Max nodded finally totally got where she was coming from.
"I know it's been rough at times. You've got to do what's right for you and what ever you choose that to be I have your back one hundred percent and I'm pretty sure everyone else will too." Max said giving her hand a little squeeze and a kiss to the top ofnher forehead in a careing jesture, he noticed how drained she looked and probablynjust feltnlike she needed a bit of support what she wanted riggt now and not what everyone else thought needed to happen.
"I don't even know what the right decision is right now to be honest. The morning after the storm we left things on reasonably OK terms so I just want to leave it at that for now and not have to be forced to make any major decisions or anything right now." Jenna explained finally starting to to open up to him which he was greatful of he was still holding her hand as she looked up to talk to him properly.
"Your well within your rights and its totally understandable. You know we're all here for you what ever you need what ever it be." Max said giving her a reassuring smile.
"I know but right now I just need peace and just a break from.. the emotional turmoil. I honestly don't know how I feel do I love him, am I 'in' love with him, do I want to be with him, do I trust him.. does he trust me.. a relationship must have trust to go anywhere and so far he's shown he doesn't have that in me." Jenna brain stormed out loud.
"I think the real answers to those questions your heart will know when your head stops trying to rule it." Max said.
"Ooo very philosophical." Jenna laughed.
"Oh see you had to ruin it we was being really serious for a while then." Max laughed.
"Well you know we can't be too serious for too long.. might give make us sensible." Jenna laughed pulling her face.
"Now we wouldn't want that would we." Max laughed.
"Certainly not." Jenna joked outrage.

Over on the table where Joel, Benji, Billy and Dean was sat.
"Hey benji, Jennas here." Joel said quietly to Benji although he knew Benji already knew but didn't know how to broach the subject. Benji nodded as both their eyes scanned across the room to where Jenna and Max was at the bar.
"Urgh I see those two are still joined at the hip." Rachel announced to no one in particular about Max and Jenna as she sat back down at the table.
"Rach." Joel gave her a warning look to which she rolled her eyes at.
"Have you spoken to her?" Jeol asked turning back to Benji.
"Nope." Benji said with a bit of a sigh.
"Are you going to?" Joel asked. Benji didn't answer straight away instead they both just watched Jenna as she spoke to Max. Benji just shrugged his answer to Joel. Joel had been a bit warmer to the idea of Jenna and Benji since the end of tour as he started to see Rachel's part in the whole drama unfolding. Rachel is still adiment that she is innocent and still only out for Benji's best interests when asked directly but it's clear she has the ulterior motives they suspected.
"Maybe you should? I mean you left things on good terms when you last seen her didn't you?" Joel said hopeful, almost guilty for his part in causing the issues in Benji and Jenna's relationship.
"Hmm we was OK but I didn't leave her much choice just turning up unannounced and getting stranded there." Benji said not convinced Jenna was on that great terms with him yet. Joel nodded.
"I just don't want to end up pushing her away more, if I push her too much. Don't get me wrong I'd love nothing more than to go over there and have everything be ok between us but I've hurt her alot I know that now and I'm going to have to deal with whatever it is she wants next." Benji said looking sad.
"I'm sorry its been such a bumpy road but maybe things will get better from here." Joel said slightly awkward and guiltily. If it hadn't been for himself and Rachel, Benji and jennas relationship might have gone a little smoother.
"I hope so." Benji said as they turned then to join in the conversation between Billy and Dean seeing Seraya and Paul heading over to me and Jenna at the bar.

"Jenna!" Paul's voice said coming up behind Jenna as she turned to see Paul he pulled her into a massive bear hug.
"We've missed you so much." He said into the hug.
"Aw I've missed you too Paul-y." Jenna smiled as he released her.
"We've all missed you." Paul said eyeing her with emphasis on the 'all' so she got he meant everyone and everyone meaning Benji. Jenna just eyed him with a I know what you mean but I'm choosing to ignore it way.
"So anyway what are the two biggest party animals I know doing sat in the corner of the bar putting world's to rights at my party." Seraya pouted faking outrage to Jenna and Max. Max laughed at her drunkenness and then looked at Paul who gave him a 'yes this is what I'm having to put up with' look back.
"Seraya I'm knackered you danced the feet off me before." Jenna exclaimed but couldn't help laughing at her drunkenness.
"Well you've not danced with me yet." Seraya turned her attention to Max. Max looked to Jenna and Paul for help as Seraya tried to drag him to the dance floor. Jenna gave him the look of shes got a point and Paul was relived he got out of dancing again. Max gave in letting Seraya pull him to the dance floor knowing she wouldn't give up till she got what she wanted. Jenna and Paul just laughed at them and Paul took the seat Max had just been in.
"So congratulations for being so amazing at your competition." Paul beamed at her.
"Thank you." Jenna smiled with a laugh.
"We knew you had it in the bag anyway." Paul grinned.
"Oh I wouldn't be so sure there are plenty of great riders out there and horses are so unpredictable." Jenna laughed modestly.
"Be as modest as you like but you have always had something special." Paul smiled.
"Ooo look at you being all mushy, you'll spoil your tough punk rock look if your not careful." Jenna joked with him making him laugh.
"Nah not me." Paul said puffing his chest out as if to prove his toughness. Jenna just laughed shaking her head.
"On a serious note though, how are you?" Paul said looking at her seriously now. Again Jenna got the feeling the question was linking back to the Benji situation.
"Paul, I'm fine, I'm tired as I've just worked my ass of for god knows how long but I'm good." Jenna smiled hoping that would be enough to leave it there. Paul nodded but his gaze went over to where Benji was as Jenna followed it and sighed inwardly.
"He's been dying to speak to you." Paul said looking in the direction of Benji. Jenna just did a nod not wanting to fuel the conversation. Paul turned to look at her expectantly.
"Do you think..." Paul started to ask Jenna to talk to benji.
"No Paul, not right now. I have nothing to say about him, to him, I.. " Jenna started. Paul nodded.
"OK, that's fine.. but I think at some point you should try." He smiled noticing she wasn't in the right place yet. Jenna gave him a nod of appreciation.
"Jenna! Oh Jenna!" Brad's rather drunken voice came up behind her.
"Bradley." Jenna smiled at him amused.
"I shall leave you to it." Paul smiled and wandered back to the table where Benji, Joel etc was sat.
"Sorry did I interrupt something?" Brad asked pointing in the direction Paul had gone.
"No actually your timing was perfect." Jenna smiled, Brad nodded slightly confused but was too drunk to put more thought into it.
"We need you." He slurred.
"Who needs me and what for?" Jenna laughed trying to understand him.
"The cake, candles, happy birthday.. its Serayas birthday." Brad struggled to string his sentence together.
"Right ok, where?" Jenna asked confused and looking round for a sign of what Brad could be talking about. Brad just took her hand and lead her off to the small kitchen at the side of the bar.
When they got in the kitchen Jackie was in there with a huge cake with candles and sparklers.
"Oh thank god for that. I was trying to organise the cake and all the help I could get was this drunken loon." Jackie said clearly slightly annoyed but still finding the funny side of Brad.
"Shhh, she'll hear you." Brad shhed keeping watch through the door. Jenna laughed and Jackie rolled her eyes.
"Right Brad go to the DJ ask him to play the happy birthday music." Jackie said slowly and clearly to Brad. Jenna just laughed wondering how wrong this could go. Brad nodded then swayed his way out and across the dance floor.
"Sorry darling hope I didn't interrupt you I just needed someone who wasn't going to drop the cake." Jackie smiled at Jenna.
"Oh no worries at all you'd have no hope in Brad right now." Jenna laughed.
"Anyway whilst we've got a minute how are you?" Jackie asked once again in one of those hidden Benji meanings. Jenna sighed to herself and just smiled.
"I'm doing fine thanks." Jenna replied and Jackie just looked her over. Jenna opened the door a crack so they could see how Brad was getting on. He had stopped mid way to the DJ booth and was laughing and joking with Paul Billy Joel and Benji.
"And how's things with..?" Jackie nodded in the direction of Benji
"There are none." Jenna said blankly. Jackie looked her over not sure what she meant.
"And is that..." Jackie said quietly
"Yes it's what I want. I want peace, I want to get my head straight. I want to figure my own things out first." Jenna said and Jackie could see her frustration and instantly regretting bring it up.
"I'm sorry for asking your right and you take as much time as you need and do what you need it's no one's place but yours." Jackie nodded in agreement. Just then they noticed Brad had made it to the DJ and the happy birthday music started.
They picked up the cake together and made their way over to the front of the dance floor where Seraya still was with Max. All the people on the dance floor parted way to let them through and then gathered in a semi circle around them. Everyone singing happy birthday to Seraya. Once they was finished signing Seraya blew out the candles and they placed the cake on the table ready for Seraya to cut. Once the commotion of the cake had died down Jenna tried to make a bit of a get away all for a minutes peace from everyone wanting to know how she was which really was code for what's the dealbwith you and Benji. She was deep in thought as she was walking over the the bathrooms which was down a quieter corridor she bumped into someone as she looked up low and behold there stood Benji.
Jenna just tried to step to the side but as she did Benji also stepped to the same side with the same thing in mind.
"Sorry" he said quietly both of them a little uncomfortable.
"Should really stop bumping into each other like this." He said with an awkward laugh.
"...really should." Jenna nodded with a small smile and walked straight past him off into the bathroom almost a little coldly but she just needed to escape the everything Benji right now. She stood in the bathroom looking down at the sink hands supporting her on the counter.
"Fucks sake Jen get it together." She sighed to herself. She ran a bit of water and washed it over her face at this point not really caring if it spoiled her make up.
Just then someone walked out of the toilet cubicle. Jenna jumped as she didn't realise anyone else was in there.
"First sign of madness talking to yourself." Rachel said simply as she looked in the mirror to touch up her lipstick. Jenna just looked her over as if things couldn't get any worse. Rachel eyed her but not with the same despise that she normally would then pushed her purse that had some make up in it over to Jenna. Jenna looked her over unsure of what this jesutre actually meant. Rachel just gave her a slight nod as if to go ahead then started fixing her own hair.
Jenna got a paper towel to dab her face dry and then touched up her make up courtiousey of who she thought was her enemy.
"That's better." Rachel said looking Jenna over as she finished and gathered her purse back up.
Rachel walked to the door but held it open to let Jenna go first.
"Go on you look like you need a drink.. or two" Rachel sighed impatiently. Jenna just rolled her eyes and walked out the bathroom with Rachel follwing behind her. Once they was out the bathroom it was clear usual service had resumed and Rachel went and took her place by Joel's side.
"Jesus girl that almost looked as if you and Rachel where together." Erin said pulling a face as she walked over to Jenna. Jenna just gave her a 'that's ridiculous look' but at the same time had appreciation for the slight bit of humanity Rachel had shown if even for just a brief moment.
"So what was that all about?" Erin said looking at Jenna confused as it was clear something odd had just happened.
"Oh nothing she was just in the bathroom at the same time as me." Jenna brushed off shaking herself out of her thoughts.
"Urgh really bet that was fun." Erin rolled her eyes. "Great party isn't it, it's good your all back to be here and to celebrate you totally smashing it as always at the nationals." Erin grinned.
"Yeh it's been a bit of a whirlwind I'm totally knackered." Jenna smiled hoping it would lead to her making excuses to go soon.
"Well we know you and Max even Frankie like to live life in the fast lane." Erin laughed not taking the hint at all.
"But we do still need our sleep." Jenna nodded smiled.
"There plenty of time for that later. The parties only just getting started." Erin grinned. Jenna just looked around at everyone drunk and having a good time.
"What's up your normally one of the first to be drunk and up to mischief." Erin laughed looking Jenna over. It's probably down to all this talking about 'feelings' and 'Benji' Jenna thought to herself.
"Oh I'm just tired." Jenna brushed off.
"Well you jut need a drink maybe a shot or two and you'll be great." Erin laughed trying to stear her to the bar.
"Sounds good." Jenna gave up on the thoughts of escaping and just thought if you can't beat them join them in getting drunk.
"Oh have you had chance to catch up with Benji yet?" Erin asked innocently as they was walking over to the bar. That was it Jenna just lost it.
"STOP IT, STOP IT, JUST STOP! IVE HAD ENOUGH." Jenna shouted in frustration. Erin looked at her shocked as did a fair few other people around her.
"I CANT TAKE IT ANY MOTE. BENJI THIS BENJI THAT. THERE IS MORE TO ME THAN JUST BENJI, BENJI BENJI!" Jenna continued to let her frustrations out. Most people had noticed the scene by now. Some people looked between Jenna and Erin some over to Benji for answers who just looked awkwardly down to try to avoid attention. Erin looked shocked, confused and guilty.
Jenna walked over to a quiet corner near the bar and sat down in the booth totally blocking out the fact most people was still staring at her.
"Max-i go to her." Jackie nudged him in Jenna's direction.
"Oh I see so everyone pisses her off and now I've got to go and defuse the situation again." Max sighed half joking half pissed off that in actual fact Jenna's friends seemed to have lack of ability of knowing just when not to bring up sensitive subjects.
"Yeh go on Max your like the bomb defused squad." AJ said patting him on the back.
"Naa, na na na, na na na, na na na, naa." Brad started singing the SWAT music.
Max just laughed shaking his head as he walked over to Jenna and Jackie hushed most people back to carrying on what they was doing but everyone was really discussing Jenna's little outburst.
"What the hell did you do to her?" Seraya whispered to Erin.
"Nothing or at least I didn't think I did. We was just chatting and then I asked about Benji." Erin said then grimced when she realised she probably shouldn't have asked about Benji.
"Oh she was funny when I asked about Benji too." Seraya brushed off lacking the abilty to care so much as she was drunk. "It's my bloody party the attention should be on me she's always got the attention." Serya pouted in humour.
"That's enough you two." Jackie gave them a little warning.

Max got to Jenna and just sat down next to her not saying a word. Jenna continued to stair at the wall in her anger of not wanting to deal with anyone and their questions. Max just sat in silence with her he knew she just needed someone to be there right now. Jenna had picked up at bar mat and was tapiing it between her fingers irritably. Max did his best to ignore it for a while but it was starting to drive him mad.
"Holy shit Jen I'm trying really hard here to be sypport but what's with the tapping" Max snapped but with a hint of humour. Jenna stopped tapping and turned to look at him blankly for a minute before letting out a little laugh which released a bit of tension.
"I need to go for a smoke but I didn't want to look dramatic storming out." Jenna said with a hint of humour as she realised how slightly ridiculous it sounded.
"Dramatic really? I think you already nailed that." Max laughed at her being probably the only one who'd get away with a comment like that in a situation like this.
"Fuck you Theriot!" Jenna said throwing the bar mat at him which hit him square on the nose.
"Come on now your smiling a little it might not be seen as dramatic if you go out to kill your lungs off a bit more" Max humoured her standing up holding his hand out to pull her up too. She looked at him for moment with he look of 'your lucky I'm not. Kicking your ass' then took his hand and they snuck out the closest door. Outside they sat on a swing bench under the moonlight they could hear the party muffled in the back ground. Jenna lit her cigarette and took a along slow puff leaning her head back looking up at the sky as she blew out the smoke.
"How you feeling?" Max said quietly.
"OK." Jenna answered without lifting her head up.
"Now I know your lying." Max laughed knowing from the lack of an answer. Jenna stayed quite for a minute longer then lifted her head up and turned sideways to face him.
"OK so..." Jenna started Max looked at her a little surprised that she seemed to be openly opening up.
"...I just I've had enough of everyone getting in my business." Jenna said screwing up her face as if what she described was a bad smell. Max gave a small nod.
"You know at risk of pissing you off these people are your friends and they're only asking because they care and are genuinely wanting the best for you." Max said diplomaticly the last thing he wanted was for Jenna to start cutting out her best friends.
"Well then they should support me by leaving me to make my own decisions and standing by me." Jenna said still in a generalisation they hadn't got directly to the Benji subject yet.
"They do support you Jenna you know they do, we all support you. We all support each other. We're all like one big family you don't need me to tell you that." Max said feeling slightly hurt that she might think the circus team didn't have her back.
"I know but sometimes, sometimes it's just..." Jenna struggled to find the words.
"Right can we risk saying his name..." Max said getting a bit more to the point Jenna didn't say or do anything so he continued. "So the Benji thing. I know your struggling with it at the minute..."
"It's not even really the Benji thing.." Jenna said.
"It's not?" Max looked at her confused and alarmed for a moment.
"Well it is but it's more everyone else." Jenna said Max nodded. "I just I need to figure stuff out for myself how I feel about Benji, how he feels about me, if he loves me, do I love him, do I trust him because I'm pretty sure he doesn't trust me." Jenna rambled. Max went to comment but she carried on and he let her. "What ever those answers are I need to find them in my own time by myself or with Benji if anyone. I feel preasured in to making decisions faster by everyone or making certain decisions because its what everyone else thinks is right and I just, you know after ... Karl and... my head just can't take it." Jenna finished with tears puring silently down her face. Relationships and trusting people was and possibly would always be a battle for her after the abuse she went through with Karl and Max understood that more than anyone. Jenna for the most part is tough and strong and good at focusing her mind so people forget or don't see the vulnerable side of her but as Max has lived almost all of it with her and been the one to get her through it he sees the little triggers and the emotions in her eyes that others don't.
"Come here." Max said pulling her into a big hug and she softly cried into his chest.
They stayed in silence like that for a moment.
"Now you know that all what you've just said isn't entirely true." Max started slowly she pulled back slightly to look at him so they sat back side by side again jenna leaning into him as he had his arm round her shoulders in a half hug in a protective brother way.
"Yes I understand one hundred percent where your coming from and how people have been behaving have made you feel but you must know somewhere inside of you that they don't really mean it like that. They are asking because they want to make sure your OK and are genuinely interested and defintly want the best for you. You know that don't you?" He said looking at her making sure she was thinking of it all logically now she's let her emotions out more.
"Yeh well they don't go the best way of showing it." Jenna said I'm a more humorous way.
"Well your not always the easiest person to read." Max said matter of factly letting her know he meant it lightly. She nodded.
All the more reason to leave me alone then." Jenna smirked.
"Not at all otherwise you know you would bottle everything up and then spontaneously combust." Max laughed. Jenna faked offense with a laugh.
"Me no never." She laughed.
"There you go that's better. Everything's better when you just laugh.. even if you do need to have a good cry first." Max laughed with a serious tone.
"Well I've got to give you that Theriot you can ways make me laugh." Jenna smiled.

Mean while inside
Most people was getting on with the party drinking and having a good time. The circus guys was mostly sat around a table next to the good charlotte guys.
"Aw I hope Jenna's OK I feel pretty bad now." Erin said looking down that she had played a hand a making her friend upset.
"Yeh me too I brought it up with her too." Jackie agreed.
"And me." Paul raised a hand.
"Max always knows what to say in these situations to calm her down." AJ said confidently.
"Well I feel sad it's my birthday and everyone's worried about Jenna!" Seraya expressed but not too seriously.
"Get out she's your mate." Brad nudged her.
"Yeh yeh I know and yeh I asked about Benji too." Seraya rolled her eyes as if 'my bad'
"Look guys in appreciate the good will but I know I've fucked up on more than one occasion with Jenna I really think she needs time to just figure stuff out." Benji cleared his voice slightly sheepishly
"I do belive I agree with you." Jackie nodded respectfully.
"Yeh guys Jenna has been through alot I don't think any of us seen how much things have affected her. We need to give her a bit of space." Erin joined in as everyone agreed except Rachel gave a bit of a roll of the eyes.
"Anyway in respecting us all giving Jenna some space, can we get back to more birthday celebrations." Seraya said hopefully
"OK well I know a few good drinking games." Brad smirked.
"Now we're talking!" Frankie laughed putting a few bottles of spirits on the table with some shot glasses. It wasn't long before they all got carried away with drinking games.
"So Benj, how's things going?" Billy said to Benji them both having not really got too involved in the drinking games going on, even Rachel had started to loosen up and get a bit more involed.
"Erm I'm not entirely sure to be honest." Benji shrugged.
"Jenna seems to be struggling a bit, have you spoke to her at all?" Billy asked.
"No we briefly bumped into each other in the corridor berfore but she was really distracted and with drawn." Benii explained.
"Did you speak?" Billy asked.
"No not really it was a bit awkward so I tried to break the ice and just made a joke about bumping into each other as we did back at the festival." Benii said smiling at the fond memory of when he first bumped back into Jenna bringing them back together initially.
"What do you want to happen?" Billy asked.
"I want Jenna to be happy, I want the best for her. I know I've fucked up big time and I don't blame her if she never wants to be around me again but I do still love her so much and I'd just like one more chance to prove that to her. Not that I really deserve any more chances but maybe one day." Benj said smiling sincerely.
"I've never known two people more good for each other than you two. When your good your really great together. Its just a shame there's been a few bumps in the road too I'm sure if it's meant to be then it'll all work out in the end. I do however agree that there are far to many people involed in your relationship, everyone needs to take a back seat and leave the two of you to work it out." Billy said.
"I know it's so hard we're all so close and I know everyone just wants to help but it's true things might have been easier if less people was so involed. I mean I'm th most guilty of letting certain people get too involed in it all and I've fucked up big time for that so you know if I have lost her because of that I can only realy blame myself at the end of the day." Benji said sadly.
"Let's hope it's not going to come to that." Billy smiled trying to be positive and giving him a reassuring pat on the back.