Categories > TV > Star Trek: The Original Series > Star Infinity
Extra: Joshua and the Confection Laboratory (unfinished)
0 reviewsThis story combines elements of the movie adaptations of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl.
0Unrated
October 15, 3301
It has been two weeks since the Enterprise-AA's maiden voyage and the "Barbie Nebula" incident. The starship continues to sit in drydock as its port hyperwarp nacelle is being repaired. Aboard the Enterprise, Rear Admiral, Lower Half Joshua Picard-Kirk sits at his ready room desk. He is studying his ship's technical specifications on his desktop monitor, when he notices something odd.
"Wait, this ship has a confection laboratory!?" he says aloud to himself. He then hears a tone. He looks up and says, "Enter," Rona then enters the ready room.
"Hello, Admiral, the repairs to the port hyperwarp nacelle are almost complete, and we will soon be able to get underway," she reports.
"That's nice—wait—where's Steve?" Picard-Kirk wonders.
"Steve is napping. Besides, wouldn't you rather deal with me than with him?" Rona asks.
"Point taken—by the way, were you aware that the Enterprise had a confection laboratory?"
"Sir, everyone knows about the confection laboratory."
Picard-Kirk points at himself, "I didn't know about it."
"That's because you came aboard your ship without knowing anything about it! I mean, you had to ask if the ship had weapons!"
"Whatever! I want to see it."
"That's good, sir. Then you can meet the children."
"Children?"
"Yes, sir, the five children who each found a Platinum Coupon hidden in a Winky chocolate bar wrapper."
"Winky?"
"Billy Winky, sir, Lieutenant Commander Billy Winky, the Enterprise's chief chocolatier."
Joshua Picard-Kirk, his senior crew, Molly and Polly, the children, and their chaperones stand at the entrance to the confection laboratory. The "lucky" children and their chaperones are:
Above the entrance's overly large doors is an overly large sign saying, "Billy Winky's Amazingly Magical Confection Laboratory."
"Isn't 'confection laboratory' rather verbose? Why not simply 'confectionery'?" Rona wonders aloud to herself.
"What even is a 'confession lavatory'?"
Ignoring Monique's malapropism, Rona answers, "It's like a chocolate factory."
"Oh, so does that mean this 'Billy Winky' guy is like Willy Wonka?"
Before anyone can answer, the overly large doors part to show the confection laboratory's anteroom, which is lit such that the back of it is covered in shadow. They all enter the anteroom, and the doors shut behind them. Vague silhouettes of a man and puppets on either side of him are visible.
Spotlights suddenly shine on the animatronic puppets and the man. Music plays on the speakers, and the puppets perform a musical number, as the man steps toward the group. The man wears a purple suit with a tailed jacket, a matching tophat, and white gloves. He also uses a black cane with gold accents and is hunched over, hiding his face.
As the musical number ends, the man trips, only to roll on the ground into a kneeling position, where he spreads his arms and confetti shoots out of his sleeves. The puppets subsequently burst into flames, and fire-extinguishing foam discharges from the corresponding areas of the ceiling to put out the fire.
"Grandpa Moe, is that—?"
"That's right, Marley! That's Billy Winky!"
Winky approaches Picard-Kirk and the Enterprise's senior staff.
"What a surprise! I wasn't expecting the commanding officer, let alone the entire senior staff, to visit my humble confection laboratory!"
"We frankly had nothing better to do," Larry responds.
Picard-Kirk crosses his arms, "So, you are Billy Winky, eh?"
Winky bows, "Lieutenant Commander Billy Winky, chief chocolatier, at your service, Admiral."
"May I inquire as to why the Enterprise has a frakking confection laboratory!? I mean, we have replicators!" Picard-Kirk wonders.
"How do you think that the confections get to the replicators, hmm?" Winky responds.
"Wait! Wait! I know this!" Monique shouts, "Um—the matter is—er—reconstructed—reconstipated—no, that's not it—"
"Reconstituted," Rona says.
"Yeah, that!"
"Not on this ship it isn't!" Winky proclaims, aggressively striking the floor with the ferrule of his cane, creating an echo, "Confections here are made the natural way, the way they were meant to be made!"
"Through holographic slave labor?" Sonic quips.
Winky chuckles nervously and quickly changes the subject, "Well, come along now! I know you all must be dying to see my confection laboratory! We have a starship's worth of time, but hardly anything to do! Oh, wait, swap those."
As they make their way to the doors on the opposite side of the anteroom, Monique notices something about Winky, "Excuse me, Mr. Wonka—"
"Wonka!?" Winky interrupts her, "Do I look like Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp to you?"
"Actually, I was about to say that you kind of remind me of Matt Smith from Doctor—"
The sound of the doors opening then interrupts Monique, and everyone stops walking. The room beyond is pitch black.
"Climb aboard the Transparent Aluminum Turbolift!" Winky shouts.
Mr. Bourgeois pipes up, "How are we supposed to fit everyone in a turbolift!? There are over ten people here!"
"Nineteen people and one hologram to be exact," Rona clarifies.
"Dehumanize me, why don't you!?" Sonic complains. Rona looks at him and sticks out her tongue. Everyone then enters the pitch black room.
Winky commands, "Computer, lights!" and the lights come on, revealing a room that suspiciously looks like the control room of a certain timeship from a certain British science fiction series. The only difference is that there are windows showing the interior of the turboshaft.
Monique recognizes it, "Hey, isn't this the TAR—?"
"No!" Winky interrupts her again, "This is the Transparent Aluminum Turbolift!"
Mack Telly fumbles with his portable gaming device until he realizes that Monique is right. The former is about to say something when Winky shouts, "Fumbler—!" which makes him flinch. Winky then approaches the central console of the turbolift, "Anyway, let us get on with the show! First stop: the chocolate waterfall room!" He pushes a button, and the turbolift begins its descent.
The Transparent Aluminum Turbolift halts at the chocolate waterfall room. As everyone debarks, Billy Winky sings. Near the back of the room is a chocolate river with the titular waterfall pouring into it. After Winky finishes singing, he says, "Everything in here is edible. I'm edible, too, but that's cannibalism, children, and that is considered taboo in many cultures."
"Does anyone else think that the 'chocolate' river looks like shit?" Larry wonders.
Dr. Pepper reminisces, "It reminds me of a patient that I once had. They had irritable bowel syndrome and issues with incontinence."
"Dang it, Dad! Do you have to tell this story again!?" Telula Pepper complains.
"What happened?" Larry asks.
"They came to my office one day, their pants soaked from where they had soiled themselves. They were yelling, 'Oh, my god, Doc! It won't stop!' It was flowing out of them like that river over there," Dr. Pepper answers.
"Ugh!" Everyone cringes.
"Well, I know one way to find out what that river is made of," Julius Glopp then heads toward the river.
"Stop, Julius! Come back here at once!" Julius's mother yells.
Julius dives into the river. When he surfaces, he is scowling.
"What is it!? Is it really chocolate, or is it shit!?" Larry asks.
"Neither! It's water with brown food-coloring!" Julius points accusingly at Winky, "You're a fraud, Billy Winky!"
"So this is why the hot chocolate on this ship sucks!" Picard-Kirk thinks to himself.
Winky ululates with his tongue and a transparent pneumatic transport tube descends into the water. Manning the tube's controls are aliens resembling Keenser from the 2009 Star Trek movie, wearing orange shirts and white overalls. They pull a lever, which activates the pneumatic mechanism, sucking some water and Julius into the tube.
"Curse you, Winky!" Julius shouts as he ascends the tube.
Mrs. Glopp angrily grabs Winky by his jacket, "Verdammt—that was my son you just sucked, you bastard!"
Winky looks down, gently removes Mrs. Glopp's hands from his person, and brushes off his jacket, "Your son will be quite all right, Mrs. Glopp, but it was his greed that got him into his situation."
"Greed!? He rightly pointed out your fraudulence!"
"Something that I will not tolerate."
Mrs. Glopp appeals to Picard-Kirk, "Admiral, he is one of your officers, is he not?"
Picard-Kirk stammers, "Uh—"
"Are you going to stand there and let him demean my son and possibly defraud more innocent people?"
Unsure of how to respond, Picard-Kirk steals a hypospray out of Larry's pocket—
"Hey!" Larry shouts.
—and uses it on Mrs. Glopp. She falls unconscious.
"Oh, dear. It seems that the stress of the situation has caused Mrs. Glopp to pass out," Picard-Kirk lies, and Winky smiles.
Tubman comes to Larry's side, "That was meant for me; wasn't it, Doc?"
Larry sighs with guilt, "Yes, it was a sedative just in case you hadn't taken your medication."
"You needn't worry, Doc; I took it today."
"I'm glad to hear it, Ms. Tubman."
"I read in the laboratory's guidebook that there was a 'psychedelic' tunnel. It sounded similar to a wormhole, so I figured it would be a good idea."
Larry nods and says, "Computer, transport Mrs. Glopp to sickbay," and the latter disappears in a bluish purple sparkling glow.
On the other side of the not-so-chocolate river, some more aliens that resemble Keenser have gathered.
"Are those Roylans?" Rose Bourgeois wonders.
"Are they even canonical?" Mack Telly inquires.
"Yes, they are indeed Roylans, specifically from the nation of Loympaland on Royla, where they call themselves Roympa-Loympas," Winky answers.
"I understand that Roympa-Loympas are a bit eccentric," Mrs. Telly recalls.
"Oh, they are very cheeky!" Winky chuckles.
"I'm just surprised that they're not holograms," Sonic says, and Winky cuts Sonic the stink eye.
The Roympa-Loympas chant, "Roym-pah! Loym-pah! Doy-pah-day doy!" and then music begins to play on the speakers.
♫
Julius Glopp!
Julius Glopp just did a giant belly flop!
Julius Glopp, so very fat!
He is as big as that one cat!
To Hell with you, you fatass boob!
It's time to send you up the tube!
And now we must be sure to blurt—
Julius Glopp will not be hurt!
Julius Glopp will not be hurt!
♫
After they finish singing, the Roympa-Loympas disperse, returning to their duties. Winky claps ecstatically.
"I'm glad that Mrs. Glopp wasn't here to witness that!" Mr. Bourgeois leers at Winky contemptuously.
Noticing this, Winky becomes defensive, "Come now, the Roympa-Loympas were merely having a little fun!"
"At the expense of poor Julius!" Mr. Bourgeois aggressively pokes Winky in the chest, "There was no need to suck him!"
This moment of bliss is interrupted by the parting of the not-so-chocolate waterfall, revealing a tunnel behind it. A boat crewed by Roympa-Loympas then floats up to the shore, and the waterfall returns to its previous state. "All aboard!" Winky yells; everyone boards the boat; and he walks to the front of it. The boat then proceeds into the next tunnel.
"According to the laboratory's guidebook," Rona begins, "This tunnel is equipped with a spatial expansion device."
"That is correct!" Winky confirms, "Unfortunately, it is currently undergoing maintenance. You may not realize this, children, but spatial expansion devices were very popular in the thirty-first century. They were employed on small starships that could fit into shuttlebays, and the devices allowed the ships to be bigger on the inside."
"Wait! That's just like the TAR—!"
"Yeah," Mack Telly responds to Winky, once again interrupting poor Monique, "And they stopped building those ships because of what happened when the devices failed with people inside! I've heard stories worthy of horror novels—they were that frakking gruesome!"
"Fumbler!" Winky shouts, "Anyway, while we can't give you the full 'psychedelic experience' due to the lack of the spatial expansion device, we can still put on a light show!"
(Insert a montage of said light show, Rose Bourgeois being inflated like a balloon, Telula Pepper falling down the garbage chute, Marley and Grandpa Moe floating up a shaft because they drank the fizzy lifting drinks, and Mack Telly being transported into a monitor here. Yes, the author is being lazy—for now, anyway. Watch this space.)
The senior staff, Marley, and Grandpa Moe are in Billy Winky's office. Grandpa Moe is arguing with the latter.
"Good bye, sir!" Winky shouts at Grandpa Moe angrily.
"You're a crook and a frakking fraud!" Grandpa Moe shouts back, and a fistfight ensues. No one interferes. Marley stands there, bewildered.
Monique nudges Marley, "Hey, this is the part where you return the Everlasting Gobstopper you stole to Mr. Wonk—Winky."
"You mean a Perpetual Trapshutter? I didn't steal any! Why would I!?" Marley asks.
"You know, for Mr. Slugworth."
"Who!?"
The men eventually knock each other out, and Larry orders, "Computer, transport Commander Winky and Mr. Bouquet to sickbay," and they disappear. Everyone except Marley subsequently sighs and facepalms.
"Well, that was an experience—wasn't it, Rona?" Larry asks.
"It was that," she replies.
"A farce was more like it!" Decker opines.
"On that, we agree," Sonic responds.
"I'm going to need a pot of black coffee," Picard-Kirk says.
"Black!?" Monique cringes, "I at least need some sugar and creamer—or milk."
"You have to hand it to the old man, though. He held his own pretty well," Polly suggests, and Molly nods in agreement. Everyone except Marley then looks at Tubman, who is listening to her portable music player via her earphones.
Noticing them, she removes one from her right ear, "What is it? Did I miss something?" but before they can answer, Marley starts to cry, and they comfort him.
It has been two weeks since the Enterprise-AA's maiden voyage and the "Barbie Nebula" incident. The starship continues to sit in drydock as its port hyperwarp nacelle is being repaired. Aboard the Enterprise, Rear Admiral, Lower Half Joshua Picard-Kirk sits at his ready room desk. He is studying his ship's technical specifications on his desktop monitor, when he notices something odd.
"Wait, this ship has a confection laboratory!?" he says aloud to himself. He then hears a tone. He looks up and says, "Enter," Rona then enters the ready room.
"Hello, Admiral, the repairs to the port hyperwarp nacelle are almost complete, and we will soon be able to get underway," she reports.
"That's nice—wait—where's Steve?" Picard-Kirk wonders.
"Steve is napping. Besides, wouldn't you rather deal with me than with him?" Rona asks.
"Point taken—by the way, were you aware that the Enterprise had a confection laboratory?"
"Sir, everyone knows about the confection laboratory."
Picard-Kirk points at himself, "I didn't know about it."
"That's because you came aboard your ship without knowing anything about it! I mean, you had to ask if the ship had weapons!"
"Whatever! I want to see it."
"That's good, sir. Then you can meet the children."
"Children?"
"Yes, sir, the five children who each found a Platinum Coupon hidden in a Winky chocolate bar wrapper."
"Winky?"
"Billy Winky, sir, Lieutenant Commander Billy Winky, the Enterprise's chief chocolatier."
Joshua Picard-Kirk, his senior crew, Molly and Polly, the children, and their chaperones stand at the entrance to the confection laboratory. The "lucky" children and their chaperones are:
Marley Bouquet and his Grandpa Moe
Julius Glopp and his mother, Mrs. Glopp
Rose Bourgeois and her father, Mr. Bourgeois, a salesman of preowned private starships
Telula Pepper and her father, Dr. Pepper, a gastroenterologist
Mack Telly and his mother, Mrs. Telly, a social studies teacher
Above the entrance's overly large doors is an overly large sign saying, "Billy Winky's Amazingly Magical Confection Laboratory."
"Isn't 'confection laboratory' rather verbose? Why not simply 'confectionery'?" Rona wonders aloud to herself.
"What even is a 'confession lavatory'?"
Ignoring Monique's malapropism, Rona answers, "It's like a chocolate factory."
"Oh, so does that mean this 'Billy Winky' guy is like Willy Wonka?"
Before anyone can answer, the overly large doors part to show the confection laboratory's anteroom, which is lit such that the back of it is covered in shadow. They all enter the anteroom, and the doors shut behind them. Vague silhouettes of a man and puppets on either side of him are visible.
Spotlights suddenly shine on the animatronic puppets and the man. Music plays on the speakers, and the puppets perform a musical number, as the man steps toward the group. The man wears a purple suit with a tailed jacket, a matching tophat, and white gloves. He also uses a black cane with gold accents and is hunched over, hiding his face.
As the musical number ends, the man trips, only to roll on the ground into a kneeling position, where he spreads his arms and confetti shoots out of his sleeves. The puppets subsequently burst into flames, and fire-extinguishing foam discharges from the corresponding areas of the ceiling to put out the fire.
"Grandpa Moe, is that—?"
"That's right, Marley! That's Billy Winky!"
Winky approaches Picard-Kirk and the Enterprise's senior staff.
"What a surprise! I wasn't expecting the commanding officer, let alone the entire senior staff, to visit my humble confection laboratory!"
"We frankly had nothing better to do," Larry responds.
Picard-Kirk crosses his arms, "So, you are Billy Winky, eh?"
Winky bows, "Lieutenant Commander Billy Winky, chief chocolatier, at your service, Admiral."
"May I inquire as to why the Enterprise has a frakking confection laboratory!? I mean, we have replicators!" Picard-Kirk wonders.
"How do you think that the confections get to the replicators, hmm?" Winky responds.
"Wait! Wait! I know this!" Monique shouts, "Um—the matter is—er—reconstructed—reconstipated—no, that's not it—"
"Reconstituted," Rona says.
"Yeah, that!"
"Not on this ship it isn't!" Winky proclaims, aggressively striking the floor with the ferrule of his cane, creating an echo, "Confections here are made the natural way, the way they were meant to be made!"
"Through holographic slave labor?" Sonic quips.
Winky chuckles nervously and quickly changes the subject, "Well, come along now! I know you all must be dying to see my confection laboratory! We have a starship's worth of time, but hardly anything to do! Oh, wait, swap those."
As they make their way to the doors on the opposite side of the anteroom, Monique notices something about Winky, "Excuse me, Mr. Wonka—"
"Wonka!?" Winky interrupts her, "Do I look like Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp to you?"
"Actually, I was about to say that you kind of remind me of Matt Smith from Doctor—"
The sound of the doors opening then interrupts Monique, and everyone stops walking. The room beyond is pitch black.
"Climb aboard the Transparent Aluminum Turbolift!" Winky shouts.
Mr. Bourgeois pipes up, "How are we supposed to fit everyone in a turbolift!? There are over ten people here!"
"Nineteen people and one hologram to be exact," Rona clarifies.
"Dehumanize me, why don't you!?" Sonic complains. Rona looks at him and sticks out her tongue. Everyone then enters the pitch black room.
Winky commands, "Computer, lights!" and the lights come on, revealing a room that suspiciously looks like the control room of a certain timeship from a certain British science fiction series. The only difference is that there are windows showing the interior of the turboshaft.
Monique recognizes it, "Hey, isn't this the TAR—?"
"No!" Winky interrupts her again, "This is the Transparent Aluminum Turbolift!"
Mack Telly fumbles with his portable gaming device until he realizes that Monique is right. The former is about to say something when Winky shouts, "Fumbler—!" which makes him flinch. Winky then approaches the central console of the turbolift, "Anyway, let us get on with the show! First stop: the chocolate waterfall room!" He pushes a button, and the turbolift begins its descent.
The Transparent Aluminum Turbolift halts at the chocolate waterfall room. As everyone debarks, Billy Winky sings. Near the back of the room is a chocolate river with the titular waterfall pouring into it. After Winky finishes singing, he says, "Everything in here is edible. I'm edible, too, but that's cannibalism, children, and that is considered taboo in many cultures."
"Does anyone else think that the 'chocolate' river looks like shit?" Larry wonders.
Dr. Pepper reminisces, "It reminds me of a patient that I once had. They had irritable bowel syndrome and issues with incontinence."
"Dang it, Dad! Do you have to tell this story again!?" Telula Pepper complains.
"What happened?" Larry asks.
"They came to my office one day, their pants soaked from where they had soiled themselves. They were yelling, 'Oh, my god, Doc! It won't stop!' It was flowing out of them like that river over there," Dr. Pepper answers.
"Ugh!" Everyone cringes.
"Well, I know one way to find out what that river is made of," Julius Glopp then heads toward the river.
"Stop, Julius! Come back here at once!" Julius's mother yells.
Julius dives into the river. When he surfaces, he is scowling.
"What is it!? Is it really chocolate, or is it shit!?" Larry asks.
"Neither! It's water with brown food-coloring!" Julius points accusingly at Winky, "You're a fraud, Billy Winky!"
"So this is why the hot chocolate on this ship sucks!" Picard-Kirk thinks to himself.
Winky ululates with his tongue and a transparent pneumatic transport tube descends into the water. Manning the tube's controls are aliens resembling Keenser from the 2009 Star Trek movie, wearing orange shirts and white overalls. They pull a lever, which activates the pneumatic mechanism, sucking some water and Julius into the tube.
"Curse you, Winky!" Julius shouts as he ascends the tube.
Mrs. Glopp angrily grabs Winky by his jacket, "Verdammt—that was my son you just sucked, you bastard!"
Winky looks down, gently removes Mrs. Glopp's hands from his person, and brushes off his jacket, "Your son will be quite all right, Mrs. Glopp, but it was his greed that got him into his situation."
"Greed!? He rightly pointed out your fraudulence!"
"Something that I will not tolerate."
Mrs. Glopp appeals to Picard-Kirk, "Admiral, he is one of your officers, is he not?"
Picard-Kirk stammers, "Uh—"
"Are you going to stand there and let him demean my son and possibly defraud more innocent people?"
Unsure of how to respond, Picard-Kirk steals a hypospray out of Larry's pocket—
"Hey!" Larry shouts.
—and uses it on Mrs. Glopp. She falls unconscious.
"Oh, dear. It seems that the stress of the situation has caused Mrs. Glopp to pass out," Picard-Kirk lies, and Winky smiles.
Tubman comes to Larry's side, "That was meant for me; wasn't it, Doc?"
Larry sighs with guilt, "Yes, it was a sedative just in case you hadn't taken your medication."
"You needn't worry, Doc; I took it today."
"I'm glad to hear it, Ms. Tubman."
"I read in the laboratory's guidebook that there was a 'psychedelic' tunnel. It sounded similar to a wormhole, so I figured it would be a good idea."
Larry nods and says, "Computer, transport Mrs. Glopp to sickbay," and the latter disappears in a bluish purple sparkling glow.
On the other side of the not-so-chocolate river, some more aliens that resemble Keenser have gathered.
"Are those Roylans?" Rose Bourgeois wonders.
"Are they even canonical?" Mack Telly inquires.
"Yes, they are indeed Roylans, specifically from the nation of Loympaland on Royla, where they call themselves Roympa-Loympas," Winky answers.
"I understand that Roympa-Loympas are a bit eccentric," Mrs. Telly recalls.
"Oh, they are very cheeky!" Winky chuckles.
"I'm just surprised that they're not holograms," Sonic says, and Winky cuts Sonic the stink eye.
The Roympa-Loympas chant, "Roym-pah! Loym-pah! Doy-pah-day doy!" and then music begins to play on the speakers.
♫
Julius Glopp!
Julius Glopp just did a giant belly flop!
Julius Glopp, so very fat!
He is as big as that one cat!
To Hell with you, you fatass boob!
It's time to send you up the tube!
And now we must be sure to blurt—
Julius Glopp will not be hurt!
Julius Glopp will not be hurt!
♫
After they finish singing, the Roympa-Loympas disperse, returning to their duties. Winky claps ecstatically.
"I'm glad that Mrs. Glopp wasn't here to witness that!" Mr. Bourgeois leers at Winky contemptuously.
Noticing this, Winky becomes defensive, "Come now, the Roympa-Loympas were merely having a little fun!"
"At the expense of poor Julius!" Mr. Bourgeois aggressively pokes Winky in the chest, "There was no need to suck him!"
This moment of bliss is interrupted by the parting of the not-so-chocolate waterfall, revealing a tunnel behind it. A boat crewed by Roympa-Loympas then floats up to the shore, and the waterfall returns to its previous state. "All aboard!" Winky yells; everyone boards the boat; and he walks to the front of it. The boat then proceeds into the next tunnel.
"According to the laboratory's guidebook," Rona begins, "This tunnel is equipped with a spatial expansion device."
"That is correct!" Winky confirms, "Unfortunately, it is currently undergoing maintenance. You may not realize this, children, but spatial expansion devices were very popular in the thirty-first century. They were employed on small starships that could fit into shuttlebays, and the devices allowed the ships to be bigger on the inside."
"Wait! That's just like the TAR—!"
"Yeah," Mack Telly responds to Winky, once again interrupting poor Monique, "And they stopped building those ships because of what happened when the devices failed with people inside! I've heard stories worthy of horror novels—they were that frakking gruesome!"
"Fumbler!" Winky shouts, "Anyway, while we can't give you the full 'psychedelic experience' due to the lack of the spatial expansion device, we can still put on a light show!"
(Insert a montage of said light show, Rose Bourgeois being inflated like a balloon, Telula Pepper falling down the garbage chute, Marley and Grandpa Moe floating up a shaft because they drank the fizzy lifting drinks, and Mack Telly being transported into a monitor here. Yes, the author is being lazy—for now, anyway. Watch this space.)
The senior staff, Marley, and Grandpa Moe are in Billy Winky's office. Grandpa Moe is arguing with the latter.
"Good bye, sir!" Winky shouts at Grandpa Moe angrily.
"You're a crook and a frakking fraud!" Grandpa Moe shouts back, and a fistfight ensues. No one interferes. Marley stands there, bewildered.
Monique nudges Marley, "Hey, this is the part where you return the Everlasting Gobstopper you stole to Mr. Wonk—Winky."
"You mean a Perpetual Trapshutter? I didn't steal any! Why would I!?" Marley asks.
"You know, for Mr. Slugworth."
"Who!?"
The men eventually knock each other out, and Larry orders, "Computer, transport Commander Winky and Mr. Bouquet to sickbay," and they disappear. Everyone except Marley subsequently sighs and facepalms.
"Well, that was an experience—wasn't it, Rona?" Larry asks.
"It was that," she replies.
"A farce was more like it!" Decker opines.
"On that, we agree," Sonic responds.
"I'm going to need a pot of black coffee," Picard-Kirk says.
"Black!?" Monique cringes, "I at least need some sugar and creamer—or milk."
"You have to hand it to the old man, though. He held his own pretty well," Polly suggests, and Molly nods in agreement. Everyone except Marley then looks at Tubman, who is listening to her portable music player via her earphones.
Noticing them, she removes one from her right ear, "What is it? Did I miss something?" but before they can answer, Marley starts to cry, and they comfort him.
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