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Eternal Reckoning Alternate Ending
0 reviewsThis story clears up the cliffhanger of Season 4.
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The Eternal Reckoning Altenate Ending
by: Zoey Webber.
Shortly after Kevin and Gina defeated Charles Lovely and his minions. Gina explained to Kevin where she had been and was now a member of the Strawberry Action Squad. Dusty witnesses Charles Lovely going to do away with Baby Kevin. Stanley was asleep though the whole thing.
DUSTY: You guys! Charles Lovely just kidnapped baby Kevin!
KEVIN: WHAT?
GINA: I thought we defeated that twat waffle!
CHARLES LOVELY: COME AND GET ME IF YOU CAN! WITH THIS BABY I SHALL RECEIVE ETERNAL LIFE! evil laughter
KAREN: Oh our poor baby Kevin! What'll we do now?
RANDALL: There's only one thing to do.
Turning on a radio, the song Pump Up The Jam plays.
RANDALL: Pump Up The Jam! Pump It Up!
KAREN: Kill me now!
The radio was turned off.
FITZ: We cannot let this be the end! Isn't anyone going to stop that son of a bitch?
BULLET: But, how? We don't have the means to go up into space.
A voice was heard from behind.
VOICE: I CAN! Leave it all to me!
DUSTY: What was that?!
The voice was Agt Clappers as a pair of blue jeans.
AGT. CLAPPERS: MMMEEE! Let me at 'him! I'll strangle the life out of that mother fucker!
DUSTY: How are you going to jump up into the sky? You might burn up in the atmosphere.
AGT CLAPPERS: What you all didn't know was when I got turned into jeans I'm space proof! Here I GOOOOO! jumps into space
NORF runs out: Hey, you forgot me! What about me!
: GODDAMMIT NORF! YOU WERE NEVER ON THE TEAM!
NORF: Oh come on! Don't give me that shit! I was hoping you and I were going to work side by side and...
KEVIN: Too late for that Norf buddy, too late.
Soaring into space, Agt Clappers has spotted the pod Charles Lovely had Baby Kevin in.
CHARLES LOVELY: You think a pair of pants can stop me! Think again!
AGT CLAPPERS: Never underestimate a pair of pants fucker!
Breaking into the pod, Agt Clappers strangles Charles Lovely until there was no life left in him. Baby Kevin got hold of a grappling hook.
BABY KEVIN: Outta here, assholes!
Using the grappling hook, Baby Kevin slid himself back to Earth and into Randall's and Karen's arms.
KAREN: My baby!
RANDALL: That was an awesome escape!
KAREN: Guess all babies aren't helpless!
RANDALL: How did you pull it off, son!
BABY KEVIN: Grappling Hook, bitches!
In the pod, Charles Lovely was slowly dying. Then Agt Clappers presses a button which caused the pod to explode. Charles Lovely and Agt Clappers were both dead.
DUSTY: Unbelieveable.
GINA: We've been saved by a pair of pants.
KEVIN: No more, Agt Clappers.
FITZ: He sacrificed himself to save us.
BULLET: No more Charles Lovely. Now the town can go back to normal and no more of this corporate bullshit!
ROBBIE: YEAH! LOVELY CORP IS FINALLY GONE!
DELBERT: Awesome way to end.
ROBBIE: Yeah, no cliffhangers.
DELBERT: And no possibility of continuing our story on Farzar.
The citizens of Paradise all cheered. However there was one more problem left.
RANDALL: Our town is still on these rocket boosters.
GINA: Is anyone here going to help? We're still flying into the air! HE-LLLOOO!
CAMARO BOB: I can baby!
KEVIN: You? But you just sell cars.
CAMARO BOB : Before I became a car dealer, I used to be a mechanic, baby!
Going to work, Camaro Bob disabled all the rocket boosters and the town of Paradise was zooming back to Earth. Karen has a decision to make.
KAREN: Now that Lovely Corp is gone, I am going to reinstate the Paradise PD!
A crowd of cheers is heard.
FRANK FLIPPERFIST: You know, Charles Lovely's workers are all dead, but there's still one more.
RANDALL: Who is it?
FRANK FLIPPERFIST: Well, who do you think? Thester Carbomb!
Fitz, Bullet, Kevin, Gina, and Dusty all surrounded Thester.
THESTER: PLEASE! PLEASE! GO AWAY BEFORE YOU ALL JUDGE.
RANDALL: Somebody has to go down for all of Lovely Corp's crimes.
GINA: You're the only one left!
FITZ: You going to come quietly and accept your fate, we'll make this a lot easier!
THESTER: EASIER! You said that when you abducted me! NO wait! You don't understand! I am really a psychologist and Charles Lovely was really...
FITZ: Fuck no! Don't give us that psychologist bullshit.
DUSTY: You were never a shrink to begin with! In fact you once confessed to us you can't even fucking read or write.
BULLET: We have you on record, there is no evidence of you being a shrink! On the other hand, you said you liked to smother lemurs that'll be used against you when you go to trial!
THESTER: Look, please...I was just playing around...I was jobless! What was I supposed to be work for Ellen?
RANDALL: Arrest this fucking asshole!
GINA: We got our jobs back and I'm already busting a twat waffle!
FRANK FLIPPERFIST: Cole's Law is done for. Now my show Matzo Ball Scoop can be number 1!
DUSTY: You were apart of my Fat Cult. How'd you lose all that weight?
THESTER: Charles Lovely put me in a cellulite removal machine. Then he hypnotized me to do evil and...
RANDALL: Not buying it!
KEVIN: Thester Carbomb, you're under arrest.
FITZ: You have the right to remain silent.
BULLET: Hands behind your back.
THESTER: BBBBAAAAAAWWWWWHHHHHHH!
As Thester was being read his rights, Kevin talks to Gina.
KEVIN: When I exposed your clit, you still had one. Why was that?
GINA: Oh, that. I got my memory erased of all that by Karate Wizard. He also restored my clit.
KEVIN: That explains everything.
Things went back to normal in Paradise Illinois. The Lovely Corp Building was torn down. Everyone went back to their old lives. Strawberry Marlow went back to the Strawberry Action Squad. There was a big trial going on and Thester was found guilty of conspiracy and was sentenced to 50 years. As Thester was being escorted by two bailiffs, he was wearing an orange jumpsuit and chains, also forced to do a perp walk. The Paradise PD had a few choice things to say to him.
RANDALL: ASS KISSER!
DUSTY: HOPE THEY SEND YOU TO LADIES PRISON!
BULLET: LEMUR KILLER!
GINA: HAVE FUN ROTTING IN PRISON!
FITZ: YOU'RE A SUCK UP! NOW YOU CAN SUCK COCKS OF INMATES!
KEVIN: FIND RELIGION! THE SENTENCE YOU GOT WILL GO BY FASTER!
STANLEY: Too bad we didn't get 20,0000 Years In Sing Sing!
RANDALL: Let's go back to Police Headquarters!
KEVIN: I'm so happy Baby Kevin is okay.
RANDALL: Karen sent him to day care with Dobby and Jerry Flipperfist. There's only one thing left to do!
GINA: What will that be.
DUSTY: I think I might know.
Turning on the radio, the song Pump Up The Jam came on which had the whole town dancing.
RANDALL: Pump Up The Jam! Pump It Up!
Robbie and Delbert join in.
DELBERT: Room for two more?
ROBBIE: What the fuck! We'll get in on this too!
BULLET: Now we can really be Paradise Party Dudes!
FITZ: But we still have the responsiblity of being cops.
GINA: Exactly.
Meanwhile at the Men's Prison, a Priest comes to Thester's cell who was looking out the window.
THESTER: I'll never see freedom again.
GUARD: Mr. Carbomb Sir.
THESTER: What is it? You going to do another rectal search on me?
GUARD: Hey! Stop being so defensive! We assigned this priest to you so you can find the right path in life instead of being villain's assistant. In no time flat, you'll be an assistant for Jesus!
THESTER: Prison is going to suck even worse for me!
The Priest was walking back and forth at the door outside of the cell preaching Bible sayings.
The End
In Memory and Tribute to Lance Reddick. (1962-2023)
by: Zoey Webber.
Shortly after Kevin and Gina defeated Charles Lovely and his minions. Gina explained to Kevin where she had been and was now a member of the Strawberry Action Squad. Dusty witnesses Charles Lovely going to do away with Baby Kevin. Stanley was asleep though the whole thing.
DUSTY: You guys! Charles Lovely just kidnapped baby Kevin!
KEVIN: WHAT?
GINA: I thought we defeated that twat waffle!
CHARLES LOVELY: COME AND GET ME IF YOU CAN! WITH THIS BABY I SHALL RECEIVE ETERNAL LIFE! evil laughter
KAREN: Oh our poor baby Kevin! What'll we do now?
RANDALL: There's only one thing to do.
Turning on a radio, the song Pump Up The Jam plays.
RANDALL: Pump Up The Jam! Pump It Up!
KAREN: Kill me now!
The radio was turned off.
FITZ: We cannot let this be the end! Isn't anyone going to stop that son of a bitch?
BULLET: But, how? We don't have the means to go up into space.
A voice was heard from behind.
VOICE: I CAN! Leave it all to me!
DUSTY: What was that?!
The voice was Agt Clappers as a pair of blue jeans.
AGT. CLAPPERS: MMMEEE! Let me at 'him! I'll strangle the life out of that mother fucker!
DUSTY: How are you going to jump up into the sky? You might burn up in the atmosphere.
AGT CLAPPERS: What you all didn't know was when I got turned into jeans I'm space proof! Here I GOOOOO! jumps into space
NORF runs out: Hey, you forgot me! What about me!
: GODDAMMIT NORF! YOU WERE NEVER ON THE TEAM!
NORF: Oh come on! Don't give me that shit! I was hoping you and I were going to work side by side and...
KEVIN: Too late for that Norf buddy, too late.
Soaring into space, Agt Clappers has spotted the pod Charles Lovely had Baby Kevin in.
CHARLES LOVELY: You think a pair of pants can stop me! Think again!
AGT CLAPPERS: Never underestimate a pair of pants fucker!
Breaking into the pod, Agt Clappers strangles Charles Lovely until there was no life left in him. Baby Kevin got hold of a grappling hook.
BABY KEVIN: Outta here, assholes!
Using the grappling hook, Baby Kevin slid himself back to Earth and into Randall's and Karen's arms.
KAREN: My baby!
RANDALL: That was an awesome escape!
KAREN: Guess all babies aren't helpless!
RANDALL: How did you pull it off, son!
BABY KEVIN: Grappling Hook, bitches!
In the pod, Charles Lovely was slowly dying. Then Agt Clappers presses a button which caused the pod to explode. Charles Lovely and Agt Clappers were both dead.
DUSTY: Unbelieveable.
GINA: We've been saved by a pair of pants.
KEVIN: No more, Agt Clappers.
FITZ: He sacrificed himself to save us.
BULLET: No more Charles Lovely. Now the town can go back to normal and no more of this corporate bullshit!
ROBBIE: YEAH! LOVELY CORP IS FINALLY GONE!
DELBERT: Awesome way to end.
ROBBIE: Yeah, no cliffhangers.
DELBERT: And no possibility of continuing our story on Farzar.
The citizens of Paradise all cheered. However there was one more problem left.
RANDALL: Our town is still on these rocket boosters.
GINA: Is anyone here going to help? We're still flying into the air! HE-LLLOOO!
CAMARO BOB: I can baby!
KEVIN: You? But you just sell cars.
CAMARO BOB : Before I became a car dealer, I used to be a mechanic, baby!
Going to work, Camaro Bob disabled all the rocket boosters and the town of Paradise was zooming back to Earth. Karen has a decision to make.
KAREN: Now that Lovely Corp is gone, I am going to reinstate the Paradise PD!
A crowd of cheers is heard.
FRANK FLIPPERFIST: You know, Charles Lovely's workers are all dead, but there's still one more.
RANDALL: Who is it?
FRANK FLIPPERFIST: Well, who do you think? Thester Carbomb!
Fitz, Bullet, Kevin, Gina, and Dusty all surrounded Thester.
THESTER: PLEASE! PLEASE! GO AWAY BEFORE YOU ALL JUDGE.
RANDALL: Somebody has to go down for all of Lovely Corp's crimes.
GINA: You're the only one left!
FITZ: You going to come quietly and accept your fate, we'll make this a lot easier!
THESTER: EASIER! You said that when you abducted me! NO wait! You don't understand! I am really a psychologist and Charles Lovely was really...
FITZ: Fuck no! Don't give us that psychologist bullshit.
DUSTY: You were never a shrink to begin with! In fact you once confessed to us you can't even fucking read or write.
BULLET: We have you on record, there is no evidence of you being a shrink! On the other hand, you said you liked to smother lemurs that'll be used against you when you go to trial!
THESTER: Look, please...I was just playing around...I was jobless! What was I supposed to be work for Ellen?
RANDALL: Arrest this fucking asshole!
GINA: We got our jobs back and I'm already busting a twat waffle!
FRANK FLIPPERFIST: Cole's Law is done for. Now my show Matzo Ball Scoop can be number 1!
DUSTY: You were apart of my Fat Cult. How'd you lose all that weight?
THESTER: Charles Lovely put me in a cellulite removal machine. Then he hypnotized me to do evil and...
RANDALL: Not buying it!
KEVIN: Thester Carbomb, you're under arrest.
FITZ: You have the right to remain silent.
BULLET: Hands behind your back.
THESTER: BBBBAAAAAAWWWWWHHHHHHH!
As Thester was being read his rights, Kevin talks to Gina.
KEVIN: When I exposed your clit, you still had one. Why was that?
GINA: Oh, that. I got my memory erased of all that by Karate Wizard. He also restored my clit.
KEVIN: That explains everything.
Things went back to normal in Paradise Illinois. The Lovely Corp Building was torn down. Everyone went back to their old lives. Strawberry Marlow went back to the Strawberry Action Squad. There was a big trial going on and Thester was found guilty of conspiracy and was sentenced to 50 years. As Thester was being escorted by two bailiffs, he was wearing an orange jumpsuit and chains, also forced to do a perp walk. The Paradise PD had a few choice things to say to him.
RANDALL: ASS KISSER!
DUSTY: HOPE THEY SEND YOU TO LADIES PRISON!
BULLET: LEMUR KILLER!
GINA: HAVE FUN ROTTING IN PRISON!
FITZ: YOU'RE A SUCK UP! NOW YOU CAN SUCK COCKS OF INMATES!
KEVIN: FIND RELIGION! THE SENTENCE YOU GOT WILL GO BY FASTER!
STANLEY: Too bad we didn't get 20,0000 Years In Sing Sing!
RANDALL: Let's go back to Police Headquarters!
KEVIN: I'm so happy Baby Kevin is okay.
RANDALL: Karen sent him to day care with Dobby and Jerry Flipperfist. There's only one thing left to do!
GINA: What will that be.
DUSTY: I think I might know.
Turning on the radio, the song Pump Up The Jam came on which had the whole town dancing.
RANDALL: Pump Up The Jam! Pump It Up!
Robbie and Delbert join in.
DELBERT: Room for two more?
ROBBIE: What the fuck! We'll get in on this too!
BULLET: Now we can really be Paradise Party Dudes!
FITZ: But we still have the responsiblity of being cops.
GINA: Exactly.
Meanwhile at the Men's Prison, a Priest comes to Thester's cell who was looking out the window.
THESTER: I'll never see freedom again.
GUARD: Mr. Carbomb Sir.
THESTER: What is it? You going to do another rectal search on me?
GUARD: Hey! Stop being so defensive! We assigned this priest to you so you can find the right path in life instead of being villain's assistant. In no time flat, you'll be an assistant for Jesus!
THESTER: Prison is going to suck even worse for me!
The Priest was walking back and forth at the door outside of the cell preaching Bible sayings.
The End
In Memory and Tribute to Lance Reddick. (1962-2023)
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