Categories > Cartoons > Paradise PD
If He Had Always Been There
0 reviewsSet before the first season. Co-Written By Narwhalpuppy. A What-If Fanfic.
0Unrated
Co-Written by Narwhalpuppy. This is a fanfic that is set before an alternate first season. What if Thester Carbomb had been in season one? What if he were a petty criminal who's only hope to a better life was in the hands of Gerald Fitzgerald?
Paradise PD
Fanfic Title
If He Had Always Been There
by: Hailey Sands and Toni Cervone
Chapter One:
At a Courthouse in Paradise. Judge Judge Judge was waiting for his first case of the day.
Judge Judge Judge: Balliff! Call my next case.
Balliff: Yes your honor. It seems to be a hearing.
Judge Judge Judge: What type?
Balliff: It appears to be a Probation Hearing.
Judge Judge Judge: Who is it?
Balliff: A man named....hmmmm, can't read this here. But he's accompanied by a Paradise PD officer Gerald Fitzgerald.
Judge Judge Judge (reads the paper): Okay, the man is named Thester Carbomb IV.
Balliff: Send him in.
The doors to the courtroom open. Gerald Fitzgerald enters first. Thester Carbomb was behind him. Fitz was wearing his Paradise PD uniform. Thester was wearing a green baseball cap, yellow and black plaid blouse opened in the front. A red t shirt with a UFO on it, blue jeans with the knees ripped open and Vans sneakers.
Judge Judge Judge: Gentlemen you may be seated. Let's start the case. (bangs gavel) What is your business with this man?
Fitz: I want him released into my custody.
Judge Judge Judge: Probation, right?
Fitz: Yes your honor. This man before me, Thester Carbomb IV is facing some serious criminal charges. Three days ago, I caught him gambling on a street corner.
Judge Judge Judge: Thester Carbomb, approach the bench please.
Thester: What does that mean?
Fitz: He wants to talk with you.
Thester: OKay. I'm here, your honor. (walks over to the bench)
Judge Judge Judge: First off, next time you enter my courtroom. Please dress appropriately.
Thester: Yes your honor.
Judge Judge Judge: Before Officer Fitzgerald caught you gambling. He's seen you do other acts of mayhem, is that correct, Officer Fitzgerald. Mr. Carbomb?
Fitz: Correct your honor.
Judge Judge Judge: What have you seen this man do?
Fitz: I've been keeping my eye on his man for 2 years now.
Judge Judge Judge: What did he do when you first saw him.
Fitz: Your honor, 2 years ago, I saw this man Thester Carbomb jump out of a mall fountain and screamed at people.
Judge Judge Judge: What did you scream at those people, Mr. Carbomb.
Thester: I remember. (laughs) It was "I'm a kracken from the sea"! (laughs)
Judge Judge Judge: (bangs gavel): Order! Why did you do such a thing?
Thester: I stole some drugs from a failing pharmacy. OTCs. Nobody wanted to buy them from me. I got angry and wanted to get back at people for not wanting to buy my drugs.
Judge Judge Judge: You fessed up to what you did. That young man is a rackettering charge. What else, Officer Fitzgerald?
Fitz: I also saw him stick a dynamite stick into a watermelon and it blew up the Catholic Church, your honor.
Judge Judge Judge: Destruction of Property!
Thester: I just hate Catholicism okay! I grew up with it! I had a strict and abusive upbringing because of it!
Judge Judge Judge: That's no excuse for what you did. Please continue, Officer Fitzgerald.
Fitz: Of course your honor. This man also threw beer bottles from a bridge at oncoming traffic, mugged people, drugged people mostly men and stole their money. I kept trying to catch him the best I could, but he just kept getting away from me. Well, not this time.
Thester: Your honor, what is going to happen to me?
Judge Judge Judge: That depends.
Fitz: He also used to escape me chasing him by throwing his backpack over a fence then jumping over it. Then I found out he overcharged on a credit card that belonged to his roommates step mother!
Judge Judge Judge: Thank you for telling me all this. (turns to Thester) Mr. Carbomb. Do you have a job?
Thester: I used to. A lab tech at a hospital. I worked there for a year and then quit because I joined an Underground Gambling Ring.
Fitz: I found that out myself. This Gambling Ring also speicalizes in vandalism, destruction, and drug dealing.
Judge Judge Judge: Do you have any prior education, Mr. Carbomb?
Thester: When I came to the United States from England. My Mom was actually an American Citizen originally from Kentucky so I learned that I was an American Citizen all along.
Judge Judge Judge: Answer the question!
Thester: I atteneded Community College and took some courses in Computers and Lab Tech.
Judge Judge Judge: I've decided something.
Fitz: Tell us your honor.
Judge Judge Judge: Going though all these criminal charges that go all the way back to 2007......(going over a paper) See you even placed bets at sports bars, and horse races ripping people out of their money. So the verdict is.....
Thester: Yes?
Judge Judge Judge: I hearby sentence you to probation under the custody of Officer Gerald Fitzgerald! (bangs gavel)
Fitz: Thank you your honor. I believe this man deserves a second chance.
Thester: How long am I on probation?
Judge Judge Judge: For a year. Also, come back here every three weeks to see how you're improving. Now, Officer Fitzgerald it is your responsibility to do everything you can to get his man to clean up his act.
Fitz: Don't worry, I will.
Judge Judge Judge: I also suggest to you to take Thester to Gamblers Anonymous meetings and to get a job.
Fitz: What day of the week is it?
Judge Judge Judge: It'll be on Mondays. Any questions?
Thester: What happens if I fail this probation?
Judge Judge Judge: You'll spend 10 years in prison and Fitz will have his reputation tarnished as a police officer. You Thester will move in with Fitz and live with him. Case dismissed. (bangs gavel.)
Fitz leaves the courtroom with Thester by his side.
Thester: 10 years?
Fitz: Don't worry. I'll make sure you won't fuck up.
Chapter Two:
Fitz drives Thester to a house. It was a house where Thester lived with his roommate.
Thester (points to the house): I live with my ex-roommate Scott from Community College.
Fitz: The one with the step mother whose credit card you stole.
Thester: Right-O! (laughs) She's so drunk on the couch all the time she never notices what Scott and I are doing!
Fitz: Pack your bags and say goodbye to Scott and his step mother!
Stopping the police car and entering the house, Thester leads Fitz into his bedroom. Which looked like one a teenage boy would have. Fitz looks though Thester's closet.
Thester: Hey? Why are you doing that for?
Fitz: Just want to see what your choice of wardrobe is.
Going around the closet, Fitz sees shirts of horror characters. Such as Jeff the Killer, Slenderman, Pennywise. Even adult cartoons like Rick and Morty and Archer which were Thester's favorite. Fitz also sees ripped up blue jeans and sneakers and wants to get rid of them.
Fitz: When you come live with me. You are not going to wear this shit!
Thester: Why not? I love those outfits.
Fitz: We're getting you a new wardrobe. When I get done with you, you're going to look like a million bucks!
Thester: Is this really necessesary?
Fitz: Yes it is! We need you to look like a gentleman so the court system can see you improved.
Thester: Guess I have no choice.
Fitz: What we're going to do is send all these clothes to charity.
Thester: Then get me some new clothes?
Fitz: Exactly.
Taking the clothes out of the closet, Fitz puts them all in a black garbage sack. Thester sighs with sadness. Fitz then finds a bunch of DVDs of forgotten movies from the 1990s.
Fitz: What're you planning to do with all these DVDs?
Thester (laughs nervously): Those are actually bootleg copies.
Fitz: Nobody remembers these, look at this! Bottle Rocket, Event Horizon, The Negotior, Clockers, and Zero Effect! Well, Thester. I suggest you delete your account whatever website you sell these on so you won't be in anymore hot water than you already are.
Thester: Now that I went before that Judge, I think it is time that I change.
Fitz: And I can help you with all that. First we're getting you an all new outfit. You're going to dress to impress!
Chapter Three:
In the days, weeks and months ahead. Fitz was taking Thester to Gamblers Anonymous meetings and made him get a wadrobe change. Thester was now wearing a green v neck with a tie gray slacks and black dress shoes. On the side, Fitz was actually teaching Thester how to be a proper gentlemen. It took a while, but Fitz never lost faith and believed in Thester. Kevin once entered Fitz's house.
Kevin: Why are you taking so long? Randall wants you at work.
Fitz: I'll be there in a minute.
Kevin (looks at Thester): Who's this dude? Never seen you before.
Thester: You're not much to look at yourself. Whoever you are!
Fitz: Get the fuck out of here, Kevin! He doesn't like you!
Kevin walks out of the house.
Thester: Who was that guy?
Fitz: Someone I work with at the police department. Now where were we?
Thester: I wasn't too harsh was I?
Fitz: No, it was just Kevin. I'll let that slide.
Later that day, Fitz takes Thester to a fancy restaurant.
Fitz: So what type of music do you like?
Thester: I like latino, R&B, Gangsta Rap and K-Pop!
Fitz: You're quite the hipster that's for sure.
Then and there, Thester's old roommate Scott comes to the table.
Scott: Thester Carbomb? Is that you?
Thester: Scott? What're you doing here?
Scott: Wow, Thester! You look so different.
Fitz: Yeah, he needed a change of clothes, big time!
Scott: (whispers): Don't tell anyone but I plan to put bugs in food and....
Thester: I remember when we used to do that...
Fitz: Excuse me, Scott. But it's time for you to go now. Thester is with me now.
Scott: Did you arrest him?
Fitz: In a way I did.
Thester: He's my probation officer for a year.
Fitz: Good luck in the future, you won't be seeing Thester ever again. Go!
Scott: Bye Thester! Hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.
Fitz: You'll never see those friends of yours again.
Thester: I need better ones. Bye Scott! I'll miss you!
Eventually, Thester was actually beginning to improve. On days when Thester had to go to court with Fitz, Judge Judge Judge was very proud of all the progress Thester was making little by little being in Fitz's custody. Now Judge Judge Judge wants Thester to get a small part time job so his criminal record can be expunged and his probation will be done. One day, Fitz was at his house and calls Randall Crawford from the Paradise PD.
Randall: Chief Randall Crawford! Paradise PD! Who the fuck is this?
Fitz: Uh, yes! Randall. This is Gerald speaking.
Randall: Are you calling me because you're having a PTSD flashback?
Fitz: No, I was wondering if there were any jobs available at the Paradise PD.
Randall: Now that you mention it, we are looking for a desk clerk. Nobody wants to be one these days.
Fitz: Well, I have someone who can fill in that job.
Randall: Who is it?
Fitz: You know that guy who was on probation with me?
Chapter Four:
At the Paradise PD Police Headquarters. Fitz was getting Thester ready for his job interview. Randall, Kevin, Bullet, Gina, and Dusty were all outside watching Fitz lead Thester.
Randall: So this is the guy who you had under your supervision?
Fitz: Yes it is. Say, hello to Thester Carbomb IV. Hopefully, your soon to be desk clerk.
Thester (shakes Randall's hand); Cheerio! Pleased to meet you, Chief Randall. (hands Randall a degree) This is my degree from community college.
Kevin: I know him, he told me the other day I'm not 'too much to look at'.
Randall: Who are you, Frances Farmer all of the sudden? Holding grudges will get you nowhere Kevin. (puts the degree in his pocket)
Dusty: Say Randall. Shouldn't we get this guy ready for the interview?
Randall: Oh, we have something better than an interview.
Bullet: Here at Paradise PD, we don't do that bullshit anymore.
Fitz: Wait! What! Of course you do. I remember you did when I first applied. Do you have something different?
Gina: Yes, we used to, but that's all in the past now. Because now, we have something completely fucking different.
Randall and Bullet press a button. And there was an obstacle course that trained the police.
Fitz: What the hell! He's going to be a desk clerk not a cop!
Thester: You know, I did used to jump over fences during my gambling days and running from cops. Maybe I can do this.
Gina: Also, you'll have to beat up those dummies too when you're finished with the course.
Fitz: All right, Thester. You've lived with me for a year now. It was a tough road but you made it all the way. Now all you need is a job and you'll be home free!
Thester: My probation will end.......
Randall shoots a gun in the air. Thester runs to the obstacle course.
Dusty: Yeah yeah! That's it! Go Go Go!
Witnessing Thester go though the obstacle course. Climbing rope ladders, monkey bars, climbing walls, jumping over logs. They all cheer him on.
Bullet: I think I'm going to like this guy.
Gina: Pfft! I'm not impressed at all.
Fitz: All right! Thester! You're doing great!
Kevin: I have a feeling he's going to be an inspiration!
Once Thester got to the dummies, he began to beat on them in a viciously violent manner.
Randall: Holy fucking shit!
Bullet: Didn't think he had THAT in him.
Gina: I'm going inside, let me know how it goes. (walks off)
Kevin: Forget a desk clerk, he should be one of us.
Dusty: Look at that British mother fucker beat on those dummies! He's getting all Gina on them!
Fitz: Yes Yes Yes! You're doing it! You're doing it! Keep it up!
Randall: Now ring the bell!
After Thester got done with the dummy part of the obstacle course, he rang the bell. Then ran back to everyone else.
Randall: Congratulations! You get the desk clerk job!
Fitz (runs and hugs Thester): I knew you could do it! You were awesome! Three cheers for Thester Carbomb! Hip Hip Hooray!
Only Dusty, Fitz, and Kevin cheered for Thester. Randall and Bullet did not.
Randall: I am happy for him, but that is a douchebag way of cheering.
Bullet: Tell me about it.
Epilogue:
In the Paradise Courthouse the next day, Judge Judge Judge cleared Thester of all the criminal charges against him. As the days passed by, Fitz and Thester became really close friends and thanks to the help of Gerald Fitzgerald, Thester really excelled at being a desk clerk for the Paradise PD.
Fitz (walking into the desk room): Hey, Thester. Mind typing up this report about a criminal the Gina busted?
Thester: Oh yes This job is superb!
Fitz: Bet it feels so much better for you to be an ordinary citizen who does good instead of the criminal you used to be.
Thester: I know. Imagine how shitty my life would be if I never met you. I'd be rotting in prison.
Fitz: Yes and who knows what would've happened to you there.
Thester: I'd be someone's bitch that's for certain. (laughs)
Fitz: I don't ever want to know what's that like. (laughs)
From then on and forward, Thester Carbomb became a valuable member of the Paradise PD as a desk clerk. Every now and then he would even be allowed join Fitz on police missions. The next day, the pilot episode happens.
The End
Thank you Narwhalpuppy for being my co-author for this one!
Paradise PD
Fanfic Title
If He Had Always Been There
by: Hailey Sands and Toni Cervone
Chapter One:
At a Courthouse in Paradise. Judge Judge Judge was waiting for his first case of the day.
Judge Judge Judge: Balliff! Call my next case.
Balliff: Yes your honor. It seems to be a hearing.
Judge Judge Judge: What type?
Balliff: It appears to be a Probation Hearing.
Judge Judge Judge: Who is it?
Balliff: A man named....hmmmm, can't read this here. But he's accompanied by a Paradise PD officer Gerald Fitzgerald.
Judge Judge Judge (reads the paper): Okay, the man is named Thester Carbomb IV.
Balliff: Send him in.
The doors to the courtroom open. Gerald Fitzgerald enters first. Thester Carbomb was behind him. Fitz was wearing his Paradise PD uniform. Thester was wearing a green baseball cap, yellow and black plaid blouse opened in the front. A red t shirt with a UFO on it, blue jeans with the knees ripped open and Vans sneakers.
Judge Judge Judge: Gentlemen you may be seated. Let's start the case. (bangs gavel) What is your business with this man?
Fitz: I want him released into my custody.
Judge Judge Judge: Probation, right?
Fitz: Yes your honor. This man before me, Thester Carbomb IV is facing some serious criminal charges. Three days ago, I caught him gambling on a street corner.
Judge Judge Judge: Thester Carbomb, approach the bench please.
Thester: What does that mean?
Fitz: He wants to talk with you.
Thester: OKay. I'm here, your honor. (walks over to the bench)
Judge Judge Judge: First off, next time you enter my courtroom. Please dress appropriately.
Thester: Yes your honor.
Judge Judge Judge: Before Officer Fitzgerald caught you gambling. He's seen you do other acts of mayhem, is that correct, Officer Fitzgerald. Mr. Carbomb?
Fitz: Correct your honor.
Judge Judge Judge: What have you seen this man do?
Fitz: I've been keeping my eye on his man for 2 years now.
Judge Judge Judge: What did he do when you first saw him.
Fitz: Your honor, 2 years ago, I saw this man Thester Carbomb jump out of a mall fountain and screamed at people.
Judge Judge Judge: What did you scream at those people, Mr. Carbomb.
Thester: I remember. (laughs) It was "I'm a kracken from the sea"! (laughs)
Judge Judge Judge: (bangs gavel): Order! Why did you do such a thing?
Thester: I stole some drugs from a failing pharmacy. OTCs. Nobody wanted to buy them from me. I got angry and wanted to get back at people for not wanting to buy my drugs.
Judge Judge Judge: You fessed up to what you did. That young man is a rackettering charge. What else, Officer Fitzgerald?
Fitz: I also saw him stick a dynamite stick into a watermelon and it blew up the Catholic Church, your honor.
Judge Judge Judge: Destruction of Property!
Thester: I just hate Catholicism okay! I grew up with it! I had a strict and abusive upbringing because of it!
Judge Judge Judge: That's no excuse for what you did. Please continue, Officer Fitzgerald.
Fitz: Of course your honor. This man also threw beer bottles from a bridge at oncoming traffic, mugged people, drugged people mostly men and stole their money. I kept trying to catch him the best I could, but he just kept getting away from me. Well, not this time.
Thester: Your honor, what is going to happen to me?
Judge Judge Judge: That depends.
Fitz: He also used to escape me chasing him by throwing his backpack over a fence then jumping over it. Then I found out he overcharged on a credit card that belonged to his roommates step mother!
Judge Judge Judge: Thank you for telling me all this. (turns to Thester) Mr. Carbomb. Do you have a job?
Thester: I used to. A lab tech at a hospital. I worked there for a year and then quit because I joined an Underground Gambling Ring.
Fitz: I found that out myself. This Gambling Ring also speicalizes in vandalism, destruction, and drug dealing.
Judge Judge Judge: Do you have any prior education, Mr. Carbomb?
Thester: When I came to the United States from England. My Mom was actually an American Citizen originally from Kentucky so I learned that I was an American Citizen all along.
Judge Judge Judge: Answer the question!
Thester: I atteneded Community College and took some courses in Computers and Lab Tech.
Judge Judge Judge: I've decided something.
Fitz: Tell us your honor.
Judge Judge Judge: Going though all these criminal charges that go all the way back to 2007......(going over a paper) See you even placed bets at sports bars, and horse races ripping people out of their money. So the verdict is.....
Thester: Yes?
Judge Judge Judge: I hearby sentence you to probation under the custody of Officer Gerald Fitzgerald! (bangs gavel)
Fitz: Thank you your honor. I believe this man deserves a second chance.
Thester: How long am I on probation?
Judge Judge Judge: For a year. Also, come back here every three weeks to see how you're improving. Now, Officer Fitzgerald it is your responsibility to do everything you can to get his man to clean up his act.
Fitz: Don't worry, I will.
Judge Judge Judge: I also suggest to you to take Thester to Gamblers Anonymous meetings and to get a job.
Fitz: What day of the week is it?
Judge Judge Judge: It'll be on Mondays. Any questions?
Thester: What happens if I fail this probation?
Judge Judge Judge: You'll spend 10 years in prison and Fitz will have his reputation tarnished as a police officer. You Thester will move in with Fitz and live with him. Case dismissed. (bangs gavel.)
Fitz leaves the courtroom with Thester by his side.
Thester: 10 years?
Fitz: Don't worry. I'll make sure you won't fuck up.
Chapter Two:
Fitz drives Thester to a house. It was a house where Thester lived with his roommate.
Thester (points to the house): I live with my ex-roommate Scott from Community College.
Fitz: The one with the step mother whose credit card you stole.
Thester: Right-O! (laughs) She's so drunk on the couch all the time she never notices what Scott and I are doing!
Fitz: Pack your bags and say goodbye to Scott and his step mother!
Stopping the police car and entering the house, Thester leads Fitz into his bedroom. Which looked like one a teenage boy would have. Fitz looks though Thester's closet.
Thester: Hey? Why are you doing that for?
Fitz: Just want to see what your choice of wardrobe is.
Going around the closet, Fitz sees shirts of horror characters. Such as Jeff the Killer, Slenderman, Pennywise. Even adult cartoons like Rick and Morty and Archer which were Thester's favorite. Fitz also sees ripped up blue jeans and sneakers and wants to get rid of them.
Fitz: When you come live with me. You are not going to wear this shit!
Thester: Why not? I love those outfits.
Fitz: We're getting you a new wardrobe. When I get done with you, you're going to look like a million bucks!
Thester: Is this really necessesary?
Fitz: Yes it is! We need you to look like a gentleman so the court system can see you improved.
Thester: Guess I have no choice.
Fitz: What we're going to do is send all these clothes to charity.
Thester: Then get me some new clothes?
Fitz: Exactly.
Taking the clothes out of the closet, Fitz puts them all in a black garbage sack. Thester sighs with sadness. Fitz then finds a bunch of DVDs of forgotten movies from the 1990s.
Fitz: What're you planning to do with all these DVDs?
Thester (laughs nervously): Those are actually bootleg copies.
Fitz: Nobody remembers these, look at this! Bottle Rocket, Event Horizon, The Negotior, Clockers, and Zero Effect! Well, Thester. I suggest you delete your account whatever website you sell these on so you won't be in anymore hot water than you already are.
Thester: Now that I went before that Judge, I think it is time that I change.
Fitz: And I can help you with all that. First we're getting you an all new outfit. You're going to dress to impress!
Chapter Three:
In the days, weeks and months ahead. Fitz was taking Thester to Gamblers Anonymous meetings and made him get a wadrobe change. Thester was now wearing a green v neck with a tie gray slacks and black dress shoes. On the side, Fitz was actually teaching Thester how to be a proper gentlemen. It took a while, but Fitz never lost faith and believed in Thester. Kevin once entered Fitz's house.
Kevin: Why are you taking so long? Randall wants you at work.
Fitz: I'll be there in a minute.
Kevin (looks at Thester): Who's this dude? Never seen you before.
Thester: You're not much to look at yourself. Whoever you are!
Fitz: Get the fuck out of here, Kevin! He doesn't like you!
Kevin walks out of the house.
Thester: Who was that guy?
Fitz: Someone I work with at the police department. Now where were we?
Thester: I wasn't too harsh was I?
Fitz: No, it was just Kevin. I'll let that slide.
Later that day, Fitz takes Thester to a fancy restaurant.
Fitz: So what type of music do you like?
Thester: I like latino, R&B, Gangsta Rap and K-Pop!
Fitz: You're quite the hipster that's for sure.
Then and there, Thester's old roommate Scott comes to the table.
Scott: Thester Carbomb? Is that you?
Thester: Scott? What're you doing here?
Scott: Wow, Thester! You look so different.
Fitz: Yeah, he needed a change of clothes, big time!
Scott: (whispers): Don't tell anyone but I plan to put bugs in food and....
Thester: I remember when we used to do that...
Fitz: Excuse me, Scott. But it's time for you to go now. Thester is with me now.
Scott: Did you arrest him?
Fitz: In a way I did.
Thester: He's my probation officer for a year.
Fitz: Good luck in the future, you won't be seeing Thester ever again. Go!
Scott: Bye Thester! Hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.
Fitz: You'll never see those friends of yours again.
Thester: I need better ones. Bye Scott! I'll miss you!
Eventually, Thester was actually beginning to improve. On days when Thester had to go to court with Fitz, Judge Judge Judge was very proud of all the progress Thester was making little by little being in Fitz's custody. Now Judge Judge Judge wants Thester to get a small part time job so his criminal record can be expunged and his probation will be done. One day, Fitz was at his house and calls Randall Crawford from the Paradise PD.
Randall: Chief Randall Crawford! Paradise PD! Who the fuck is this?
Fitz: Uh, yes! Randall. This is Gerald speaking.
Randall: Are you calling me because you're having a PTSD flashback?
Fitz: No, I was wondering if there were any jobs available at the Paradise PD.
Randall: Now that you mention it, we are looking for a desk clerk. Nobody wants to be one these days.
Fitz: Well, I have someone who can fill in that job.
Randall: Who is it?
Fitz: You know that guy who was on probation with me?
Chapter Four:
At the Paradise PD Police Headquarters. Fitz was getting Thester ready for his job interview. Randall, Kevin, Bullet, Gina, and Dusty were all outside watching Fitz lead Thester.
Randall: So this is the guy who you had under your supervision?
Fitz: Yes it is. Say, hello to Thester Carbomb IV. Hopefully, your soon to be desk clerk.
Thester (shakes Randall's hand); Cheerio! Pleased to meet you, Chief Randall. (hands Randall a degree) This is my degree from community college.
Kevin: I know him, he told me the other day I'm not 'too much to look at'.
Randall: Who are you, Frances Farmer all of the sudden? Holding grudges will get you nowhere Kevin. (puts the degree in his pocket)
Dusty: Say Randall. Shouldn't we get this guy ready for the interview?
Randall: Oh, we have something better than an interview.
Bullet: Here at Paradise PD, we don't do that bullshit anymore.
Fitz: Wait! What! Of course you do. I remember you did when I first applied. Do you have something different?
Gina: Yes, we used to, but that's all in the past now. Because now, we have something completely fucking different.
Randall and Bullet press a button. And there was an obstacle course that trained the police.
Fitz: What the hell! He's going to be a desk clerk not a cop!
Thester: You know, I did used to jump over fences during my gambling days and running from cops. Maybe I can do this.
Gina: Also, you'll have to beat up those dummies too when you're finished with the course.
Fitz: All right, Thester. You've lived with me for a year now. It was a tough road but you made it all the way. Now all you need is a job and you'll be home free!
Thester: My probation will end.......
Randall shoots a gun in the air. Thester runs to the obstacle course.
Dusty: Yeah yeah! That's it! Go Go Go!
Witnessing Thester go though the obstacle course. Climbing rope ladders, monkey bars, climbing walls, jumping over logs. They all cheer him on.
Bullet: I think I'm going to like this guy.
Gina: Pfft! I'm not impressed at all.
Fitz: All right! Thester! You're doing great!
Kevin: I have a feeling he's going to be an inspiration!
Once Thester got to the dummies, he began to beat on them in a viciously violent manner.
Randall: Holy fucking shit!
Bullet: Didn't think he had THAT in him.
Gina: I'm going inside, let me know how it goes. (walks off)
Kevin: Forget a desk clerk, he should be one of us.
Dusty: Look at that British mother fucker beat on those dummies! He's getting all Gina on them!
Fitz: Yes Yes Yes! You're doing it! You're doing it! Keep it up!
Randall: Now ring the bell!
After Thester got done with the dummy part of the obstacle course, he rang the bell. Then ran back to everyone else.
Randall: Congratulations! You get the desk clerk job!
Fitz (runs and hugs Thester): I knew you could do it! You were awesome! Three cheers for Thester Carbomb! Hip Hip Hooray!
Only Dusty, Fitz, and Kevin cheered for Thester. Randall and Bullet did not.
Randall: I am happy for him, but that is a douchebag way of cheering.
Bullet: Tell me about it.
Epilogue:
In the Paradise Courthouse the next day, Judge Judge Judge cleared Thester of all the criminal charges against him. As the days passed by, Fitz and Thester became really close friends and thanks to the help of Gerald Fitzgerald, Thester really excelled at being a desk clerk for the Paradise PD.
Fitz (walking into the desk room): Hey, Thester. Mind typing up this report about a criminal the Gina busted?
Thester: Oh yes This job is superb!
Fitz: Bet it feels so much better for you to be an ordinary citizen who does good instead of the criminal you used to be.
Thester: I know. Imagine how shitty my life would be if I never met you. I'd be rotting in prison.
Fitz: Yes and who knows what would've happened to you there.
Thester: I'd be someone's bitch that's for certain. (laughs)
Fitz: I don't ever want to know what's that like. (laughs)
From then on and forward, Thester Carbomb became a valuable member of the Paradise PD as a desk clerk. Every now and then he would even be allowed join Fitz on police missions. The next day, the pilot episode happens.
The End
Thank you Narwhalpuppy for being my co-author for this one!
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