Categories > Cartoons > BoJack Horseman
Dan VS Bojack Horseman
0 reviewsChris and Elise take Dan to a Hollywood Tour. Until a bong hits Dan on the head. Dan learns that the bong came from Bojack Horseman and now wants to bring down the sitcom horse actor.
1Exciting
This story is for anyone who wants to read a Dan VS Bojack Horseman Crossover! Love both shows!
Story: Dan Vs Bojack Horseman
by: Zoey Webber
On a Hollywood Tour Bus, going around LA and the homes of celebrities. In the back sits Chris, his girlfriend Elise, and their friend who's always hellbent on revenge, Dan Mandel.
BUS DRIVER: On your left we see the home of....
ELISE: Isn't this wonderful Chris!
CHRIS: Sure is! Fun to see all these celebrity homes and where they live.
ELISE: How are you liking it, Dan?
DAN: Who cares about a bunch of actors and actresses. They're just like everyone else, they put their pants on one leg at a time.
ELISE: Always has to be judgemental and realistic.
CHRIS: We can't change his mindset.
A black hole opens, the passengers mistake it for a bridge. Once the tour bus passes, everyone on board is now in Hollywoo. With animals and humans coexisting with each other.
DAN: WHAT?!?!!? Look at this! Animals! Walking around like humans?!
CHRIS: This can't be right.....shit! They're talking too!
ELISE: Did we take a detour to Disneyland or something?
CHRIS: There's even reptiles!
Confused by their surroundings. The other passengers didin't seem to notice, just Chris, Elise, and Dan did.
CHRIS sees the Hollywoo sign Even the Hollywood sign is different!
ELISE: It says Hollywoo! Where the hell is the "D"?
DAN: See? This was a bad idea from the very start! Are we in Comic Con or something!?
CHRIS: Maybe it's a Furry Convention!
The Tour Bus drove under a mansion on the hills. Inside the mansion lived the washed up has been sitcom actor known as Bojack Horseman. Inside Bojack was have an argument with Todd Chavez, his rent free living free loader roommate.
TODD: I swear, Bojack! I did not use your bong!
BOJACK: Oh really! I saw you clean the top of it so you won't think I know you used it.
TODD: I was cleaning it so it can be fresh for you.
BOJACK: Dumbest excuse I've ever heard. This is my lucky bong! If it breaks I lose all my good luck!
TODD: You never struck me as the supersitious type.
BOJACK: Sometimes you just make me so mad, Todd.
TODD: What can I do to make you stop?
BOJACK: Tell the truth, admit you used my bong!
TODD: Why would I want to use yours? I have my own shows his bong See?
BOJACK: All right! You're always want to be right all the time and trying to start something...
Grabbing his bong, Bojack takes it from Todd. Then the bong slips out of Bojack's hand and flies out the window.
TODD: OH NO!
BOJACK: No worries! My bong is unbreakable! Still good.....please be....
The bong from Bojack Horseman's mansion lands on Dan's head.
DAN: OUCH!!
CHRIS: Dan! You're badly hurt!
ELISE: Stop the bus!
The Tour Bus Driver stopped and dropped off Chris, Elise, and Dan. The bong didn't break luckily. Elise picked up the bong.
ELISE: It's a bong.
DAN whoozy: Can someone get the licence plate number of that truck that hit me?
CHRIS: No, it wasn't a truck that hit you. It was the bong.
DAN sees the bong: Some old drugged up hippie must own it.
CHRIS: He's not bleeding.
ELISE: That's good, we still need to get him to a hospital.
DAN: NO! I'm not going to a hospital! You want to wait 8 hours in the ER? Is that what you want? I'm not Robin Williams In Awakenings!
CHRIS: We just want to make sure your head is okay.
ELISE: Blows to the head can be very serious.
DAN: OKay, you can take me, it is painful to be honest.
CHRIS: We'll say you have a head injury, they're sure to take you in faster.
ELISE: Good idea.
As Chris and Elise were going to take Dan to the hospital, Bojack Horseman sees they have his bong.
BOJACK: Uhhh, excuse me. Yes you.
CHRIS: Did that horse just talk?
ELISE: I think so.....are you lost?
BOJACK: No, I'm missing my bong. Can I have it back please?
Elise and Chris handed the bong back to Bojack. Dan got a good look at him.
BOJACK: Come to papa, baby! So happy you're not broken.
DAN: What's your name, don't tell me. Mister Ed.
BOJACK: Ha ha, no. I'm Bojack Horseman! I used to be the star of Horsin' Around. Have a nice day.
Going back to his mansion, Bojack takes his bong with him.
DAN: I didn't catch the name of that horse.
CHRIS: We'll tell you after we take you to the hospital.
While at the hospital. Doctor Allen Hu was examining him.
DR HU: It seems to be no sign of concussion. Just a minor bump on the head. No worries. He'll be fine.
CHRIS: Thank you, doctor.
DAN: You wouldn't happen to know anyone who owns a bong do you?
DR HU: I know many people, but I do not keep track of all my patients.
ELISE: Oh by the way. How come there's talking and walking animals around here?
DR HU: Ahhh, you must be from the real world, yes? This is an alternate universe where animals, reptiles, and humans co-exist. Welcome to Hollywoo. I'll sign for your release.
Walking out of the hospital. Chris and Elise were looking over their new surroundings.
ELISE: Hollywoo. Wonder why it's called that?
CHRIS: Search me.
DAN: Hey, you guys didn't tell me the name of that horse. You know, the one with the bong.
ELISE: Oh him. His name was Horseshoe something...
CHRIS: I know, I remember. His name was Bojack Horseman! Yeah that's it!
Elise and Chris run away as soon as they sense that Dan was seething with rage.
CHRIS: SHIT! Here he goes again!
With all his and determination, Dan shouts into the sky whenever he wants to do someone in and put them in their place.
DAN: BOJACK HORSEMAN!!!!!!
The words "DAN VS BOJACK HORSEMAN" appear.
Back in the mansion, Bojack is inside with his bong.
TODD: It's not broken is it?
BOJACK: Nope, made of unbreakable glass.
TODD: That's a relief for sure.
BOJACK: Sorry I got mad at you and assumed you used my bong.
TODD: No hard feelings. I'm used to it by now. One day you're depressed and the next you're raging.
BOJACK: Story of my life.
A knock is heard on the door. Todd goes to open it and it's Mr. Peanutbutter.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Hey guys! How's my favorite best friend and former rival doing today?
TODD: Mr, Peanutbutter! What brings you here?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Two things. One: Princess Carolyn just built a casino with a restaurant inside, albeit not a real one. Just used for movies.
BOJACK: What's number 2?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: You're both invited to a Mr. Peanutbutter's House reunion! It's going to be so awesome to reunited with Zoe and Zelda!
BOJACK: I'm not going!
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Why not?
BOJACK: Don't feel like it. I'm going to get some more weed, instead. Running low on it. All Todd's fault!
TODD: Oh no! I thought we just made up! Your precious bong is okay and....
BOJACK: I know you've been stealing my weed and using your own bong with it.
TODD: That weed is for both of us and....
BOJACK: ENOUGH! You get your own and I have mine, thought that was the deal!
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Hey, Todd! Would you like to come? Get away from David Gale here.
TODD: Like that Kevin Spacey movie where he plays a worngful convicted man on Death Row. Bojack here is wrongfully accusing me of using his weed and acts like I should be on death row for it! I'm there!
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Forgot to mention that casino/restaurant is across the street from your Weed Store. Don;t get any funny ideas.
BOJACK: Shut up and just go!
Todd goes with Mr. Peanutbutter to see the TV Show reunion. Bojack goes to the weed store. Dan, Chris, and Elise were walking over to Bojack's mansion after getting out of the hospital.
DAN: We all know where this horse lives now. Here is what we're going to do...
CHRIS: Involving us in one of your revenge schemes.
ELISE: You're not going to hurt him are you?
DAN: I want to. As soon as we see Bojack leave his house, the trash it!
CHRIS: I'll help you trash his mansion and that's as far as I'm going to go.
ELISE: By all means, me too.
DAN: That's fine. Then afterwards I'll handle the rest.
Chris, Elise and Dan go inside Bojack's mansion. It had many stairs and they were all out of breath trying to climb them all.
ELISE: Dan, wait. Please. We can't keep up.
CHRIS: We need our energy to help you trash his place, don't we?
Dan walked up the stairs to Bojack's mansion like a proud champion. Chris and Elise caught up eventually. In another part of Hollywoo where Bojack Horseman was at his favorite weed store. Princess Carolyn was holding a rally for the opening of the Casino/Restaurant that was going to be used for a movie set. A crowd was gathered around.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Ladies and Gentlemen. It is with great pleasure that I proudly present to you. Hollywoo's Casino and Restaurant!
The crowd cheers on. Vanessa Gecko was getting raedy to cut the ribbon.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: But! It is only to be used to actors and actresses who are in movies. Got it. Vanessa! Cut the ribbon!
Cutting the ribbon, Vanessa gives Princess Carolyn the stink eye and the crowd claps with a round of applause. Across the street. Bojack Horseman hears everything.
BOJACK: Hmmm. Mr. Peanutbutter wasn't wasn't lying about that.
With his bong ready and his bag of weed he bought. Bojack was ready to go home.
BOJACK: Finally! Some alone time!
Back at Bojack's mansion. Dan, Chris, and Elise were tearing the place apart feel the durress Dan had put upon them.
CHRIS: You know. Bojack Horseman didn't know he hit you with his bong, Dan. He doesn't even know you exist!
ELISE: You're not going to get physical with him, are you?
DAN: Doesn't matter if he knows me or if he doesn't. Whoever fucks with me I shall eliminate them. Whether they know me or not!
CHRIS: Dan can we just say something here...
DAN: No! You both are NOT allowed to speak.
Elise and Chris look at Dan as if he were going to make a speech.
DAN: When we were on that tour bus, we were the only ones who noticed that black hole that lead us here to this 'universe' where animals, reptiles, and humans. We were sent here for a reason.
CHRIS: I don't care what the reason is. I just want to get back to the real LA.
ELISE: I do too.
DAN: Will you listen to me for once in your pathetic lives? The reason we came here thought that black hole is for me to get revenge on Bojack Horseman!
ELISE: Dan, if you do end up hurting Bojack, wouldn't you feel bad knowing that you hurt an animal?
DAN: I don't plan to hurt him right away. What I will do is, once you two leave. Hide in his house and find out where he likes to hang out and BAM! Kick his ass there!
ELISE: It's not Bojack's fault you were hit with that bong you know.
DAN: Oh yes it is. He just doesn't know it yet.
CHRIS: You're talking about the destruction of one of the greatest adult cartoons that ever was made!
ELISE: Yeah, don't you know Bojack is a depressed posse sitcom actor? Besides are you going to go after all the other characters too?
DAN: No, just Bojack! His ass will be mine!
CHRIS: Are we done yet?
ELISE: Can we go now?
DAN: You both are dismissed. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be the "Inside Man!" laughs get it!
CHRIS and ELISE: Thank you.
ELISE to Chris: He's no Spike Lee.
Dan continues to trash Bojack's mansion. Chris and Elise try to find a hotel to stay at. Dan hides away in Bojack's mansion. In a matter of moments. Bojack comes inside to have fun with his weed.
BOJACK: Finally! Alone with my weed! No Todd, No Mr Peanutbutter! just Me, Myself, and Irene. Oops! I mean me, myself and my weed!
Dan goes around Bojack's mansion while Bojack was on a weed high to dig up some dirt. Dan finds everything bad Bojack has ever done via computer than prints them all out on paper. Bojack had no idea someone was in his mansion or using his computer and printer. At a hotel Chris and Elise were concerned about Dan.
CHRIS: We can't sit here and let Dan hurt Bojack Horseman.
ELISE: If we do, Dan will never forgive us.
CHRIS: So you and I don't have a choice but to let him do what he pleases with Bojack?
ELISE: I know! Maybe we can warn someone he knows.
CHRIS: That's a good start, but who does Bojack know? Hell, who do we know around here?
ELISE: Easy! goes to a computer We will look up characters from the show.
CHRIS: All right.
Elise goes though the Bojack Horseman Wikia, and finds tons of characters who know Bojack.
CHRIS: How about that dog looking dude, Mr. Peanutbutter? He seems legit. It says that he and Bojack used to be rivals.
ELISE: Also this Todd Chavez guy, question is where do we find these guys?
CHRIS: Want to try Google Earth?
ELISE: Excellent!
Thanks to the help of Google Earth, Chris and Elise were only able to locate one of the characters. Princess Carolyn. Who's in the office of her agency called VIM.
CHRIS: That's Princess Carolyn, we looked her up.
ELISE: She's one of Bojack's ex's!
CHRIS: Precisely! She's the key to helping us get Dan away from Bojack!
ELISE: Call a taxi, Chris. We're going to VIM!
Dan was still at Bojack Horseman's mansion. About to sneak away without being noticed. Dan hears Bojack mumble to himself while high on weed.
BOJACK: My weed store has a Casino and Restuarant across the street.....Princess Carolyn opened it.....stupidest bitch I've ever known....
DAN: Awesome! Now to call Chris and Elise.
Running out of Bojack's mansion. Elise and Chris were now in a Taxi Cab. Dan calls Chris on his cellphone. Chris answers it.
CHRIS: Hello?
DAN: Hey, Chris!
CHRIS: DAN! Where are you?
DAN: I know a way to get back at Bojack!
CHRIS: Actually we were on our way to.
ELISE takes phone away from Chris: Give me that. Dan! I just want you to know that....
Dan cuts off Elise before she can say that she and Chris were on their way to VIM to warn Princess Carolyn that Dan was after Bojack. Dan used a ball of tin foil to pretend his call was breaking up. Elise gives the phone back to Chris.
ELISE: He did the stupid tin foil trick again.
CHRIS: Dan! It's Chris again. What's this plan to have to get Bojack?
DAN: I just found out he has a criminal record. That's something we can use against him. Not only that, he likes to hang out at some casino and restaurant right across the street from that weed store he goes to. So, drop everything you both are doing. Go to the Casino and Restuarant and wait for me there. You both will pretend to be a cook and a waitress. I'll be the manager.
CHRIS: Okay, Dan. Whatever you say. Bye.
ELISE: Oh no! He's going to involve us again?
CHRIS: Dan found out that Bojack is some type of criminal, maybe we'll be doing something good in helping him with Bojack.
ELISE: Well, all right. Nobody likes a criminal. Where does he want us to go?
CHRIS: Taxi, take us to that Casino Resturant Place.
ELISE: Yes, forget VIM.
TAXI DRIVER: You got it.
Chris and Elise were now on their way in the taxi to Hollywoo Casino and Restaurant. Dan went back inside Bojack's mansion and picked him up.
DAN: You Will Be My Victim Thoughout Eterntity! I Will Share The Endless Passion Of Immortal Revenge!
Putting Bojack in his own car. Dan drives with Bojack passed out on weed in the back seat.
DAN: I loved Dracula, Dead and Loving It! That movie needs more appreciation! Which is more than I can say for you, Bojack Horse's Ass-man! cackles
Chris and Elise are now waiting for Dan to arrive at Hollywoo Casino and Restaurant. Elise hears a car coming in their direction.
ELISE: He even stole a car?
CHRIS: That's Dan for you, going though get lengths to get his revenge!
Dan parks Bojack's car in the driveway and runs inside carrying Bojack.
CHRIS: Dan! You're here!
DAN: Now, here is what I want you guys to do. As I said before. Elise, you're the waitress! Chris you're the cook, and I'll pretend to be a manager and ask what Bojack here wants to eat.
ELISE: OKay.
Bojack wakes up from the weed high he had. Now fully awake, Bojack sees Chris, Dan, and Elise appear before him.
CHRIS: Hello Bojack! Today Is a very special day for you.
BOJACK: Really? How did I get here?
ELISE: Never mind that. No time to explain. Welcome to...sing it..
DAN, CHRIS, and ELISE singing: Hollywoo Casino and Resturant!
BOJACK: Oh yes. This casino Princess Carolyn had built to use as a movie set.
DAN: It's not a movie set. It's actually a real restuarant and casino.
CHRIS: And YOU are our first costumer!
ELISE: What'll it be Bojack?
BOJACK: Okay, let's see. I guess a double cheeseburger with bacon and a side of fries.
DAN: Or maybe you'd like to try our Big Kahuna Burger!
BOJACK: That sounds better. Sign me up for that!
ELISE: You got it. Big Kahuna Burger with bacon and a side of fries!
Much to their surprise, there actually was restaurant style food in the 'movie studio'. Chris cooks the hamburger and Elise deep fries the french fries.
DAN: Oh boy! He has NO idea what he's in for!
BOJACK: Get me a cola too!
CHRIS: All right!
When the food was done, Elise served it to Bojack along with the cola.
ELISE: Here you go! A side of fries, Big Kahuna Burger and a cola! Enjoy your meal!
BOJACK: Thank you very much. eats the burger Best burger ever! Wish I could've made these type of burgers for Olivia, Sabrina, and Ethan when I was on Horsin' Around!
Dan gives a signal to Chris and Elise to come to him.
CHRIS: When you are going to attack?
DAN: Let him enjoy his meal first....maybe in a few seconds.
ELISE: I feel so bad for him. I mean he's a your typical washed up actor he's never had a comeback and probably never will.
CHRIS: Yes, from what we heard about him. Back in the 90's He Was On A Very Famous TV Show.
DAN: Isn't that what the theme song says?
ELISE: More like ending theme song.
CHRIS: So what are these 'dirty deeds' you discovered Bojack has done?
DAN: You'll find out soon enough!
BOJACK: Mmmm. This burger tastes so much better after a weed high.
Dan slowly moves over to Bojack. Now Dan was standing next to the table where Bojack was sitting.
BOJACK: Can I talk to the manager? This by far is a very tasty burger.
DAN: I am the manager! I appreiciate your approval. But as manager I am obligated to taste my own food.
BOJACK: Okay, whatever.
DAN: I want a bite of it please.
Bojack hands the burger to Dan and he bites into it.
DAN: MMMMMMM!!! That's a mighty fine hamburger! Mind of I have some cola to wash it down.
BOJACK: Weird place, sure.
Dan sips the cola. Then pulls a gun on Bojack.
BOJACK: You have a gun on ME! What type of business is THIS!
DAN: So you're the ever so famous Bojack Horseman is that correct?
BOJACK: Y..ee..sss... why?
DAN: You are the asshole who threw out his bong and hit me over the head with it!
BOJACK: I had no idea. At least you didn't die. I'm no Amanda Bynes and...
DAN: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME TALK! Ever since I found out that bong belonged to you, I've lead you here into a trap!
BOJACK: TRAP? TRAP!! So this was all a set up?
DAN: It is! Before I make Swiss cheese out of you, I am going to use what I found out about you over the years. The horrible things that you have DONE!
BOJACK sobs: Oh no! Please, I beg you! Let me go and leave me alone. I won't tell anyone, I promise!
DAN: Promises are empty!
BOJACK: All right, okay! What are these bad things I did!
Chris and Elise were summoned by Dan to go over to him. Chris and Elise were handed some papers that Dan found of Bojack's crimes.
ELISE: Would you like us to read some?
DAN: I'll do it first! Number one! You left your own mother to die alone in the nursing home!
CHRIS points finger at Bojack: SHAME! SHAME! How could you do that to your own mother. The one who loved you, raised you and gave you everything you needed!
BOJACK: My mom was an abusive bitch! You don't understand!
ELISE: You also were on a game show where Mr. Peanutbutter was a host and you gave up over $500,000 to piss off the Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe!
BOJACK: I know what I did...I never liked Daniel Radcliffe okay?
CHRIS: You also gave terrible advice to one of your sitcom co stars. The one called Sarah Lynn! Then you went on a cross country spree with her and she ended up dead in a planetarium!
BOJACK: Oooooohhhhhh! Sorry for that! I own up for what I did. I regret waiting 17 minutes to call the police.
DAN: You also betrayed Herb Kazazz. Because you found out he was a homosexual!
BOJACK: I didn't know what to think! I was in shock!
ELISE: Then you were on a new show called Philbert and strangled one of your co stars.
BOJACK: Please Please Stop! I'd rather die right here and right now! cries
DAN: Worst of all, you damaged a relationship you have with someone named Penny and you almost kissed her teen daughter at the time.
BOJACK: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! DON'T REMIND ME OF THAT?!?!?!?!
DAN: You are the worst Horse actor who ever lived!
CHRIS: There's nothing good about you and there never will be!
ELISE: So, do you want to shoot him.
DAN: Not right now, but I will do this. points gun at Bojack.
BOJACK: deh......heh......heh.....
DAN: Do you speak English! What country are you from?
BOJACK: Uh what!
DAN: That's no country I never heard of! Do they speak English in "WHAT!"
Bojack was still hovering in fear.
DAN: You read the Bible?
BOJACK: In Sunday school I did.
DAN: Well, there's this passage I got memorized so it fits this! Ezekiel 25:17. The Path Of The Rightous Man is Beset On All Sides By The Inequities Of the Selfish And The Tyanny Of Evil.
BOJACK: OKay.....
DAN: Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
BOJACK: Let me guess here, and I will strike down...
DAN: THAT'S RIGHT! AND I WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGENCE AND FURIOUS ANGER THOSE WHO ATTEMPT TO POISON AND DESTROY MY BROTHERS! AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENENGE UPON THEE!
Chris and Elise step back when Dan shoot his gun at Bojack that sends him running. Bojack kept running from the bullets that Dan was shooting at him.
ELISE: Well, I guess this is the end of Bojack Horseman then.
CHRIS: Just as long as Dan doesn't actually kill him I guess I'm okay with it.
Princess Carolyn, Mr. Peanutbutter and Todd were walking with her to see the Hollywoo Casino and Resturant movie set
TODD: We sure had fun at your reunion show, Mr. Peanutbutter.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: After seeing it, now you know why my show was better than Horsin' Around!
PRINCESS CAROLYN: For showing us a good time at your show, and I have something to share with you both! My Movie Studio that looks like a Casino and Restaurant that's only used for movies and......
Mr. Peanutbutter went inside first, then Todd and Princess Carolyn soon followed. What they see is Dan beating up Bojack Horseman senselessly as Chris and Elise watch.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: What the hell is all this?!?!!? You guys just can't come in here and beat up Bojack Horseman like this!
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Hey, Todd. I think Bojack finally got what was coming to him for getting mad at you about his bong and weed! laughing
TODD: I don't really think that's very funny.
DAN punching Bojack: You do not...NOT throw your bong out the window when you never know when someone could be.....
PRINCESS CAROLYN: SSSTTTOOOOPPPPP!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!?!!!
Dan, Chris, and Elise froze as soon as Princess Carolyn ordered Dan to stop.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Bojack Horseman is really nothing much to look at. But why beat up him.
BOJACK: Very funny, Mr....spits blood
TODD: He's spitting up blood! This is bad! Very bad!
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Who are you young man? What right do you have of being on this movie set I built from the ground up!
DAN: You don't understand, this SOB throw a bong out the window and it hit me. I then tracked him down and....
TODD to Chris and Elise: You guys! Do you know anything about this man beating up Bojack?
Chris and Elise shook their heads "no" and Dan gives them a angry look.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Should we call the police on this?
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Yes absolutely we should and....
Then Todd, Mr. Peanutbutter and Princess Carolyn noticed gun shots.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Gunshots! Meow Meow Fuzzyface will be very interested to know about this.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: You're facing some serious charges here.
TODD: Wait'll get to jail, it's no picnic! Trust me!
DAN: You're not sending us to jail, because we're not from this world.
Mr. Peanutbutter goes to call an ambulance for Bojack.
CHRIS: He's right, you see. We were on a tour bus in our world then we got sucked into this black hole before we knew it we were here!
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Likely story! Been watching too much Babylon 5 I see!
ELISE: Are we going to be arrested too?
TODD: Probably!
DAN: Guys, let's try to find this black hole and get the FUCK OUT OF HOLLYWOO!
Chris, Elise, and Dan all run out of the Hollywoo Casino and Restaurant.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Get them! I'll stay here with Bojack until ambulance arrives.
Todd and Mr. Peanutbutter chase Dan, Chris, and Elise.
CHRIS: Thanks a lot Dan for getting us involved in your Revenge Against Bojack Horseman Scheme.
ELISE: Now because of you we'll probably face prison time. If we don't get out of here.
DAN: Shut up both of you, I see the black hole coming!
TODD: STOP! STOP! STOP! These flip flops aren't getting me very far.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: You won't get away that easily!
The chase soon ends when Mr. Peanutbutter sees "Ericka" .
TODD: Why did we stop?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Ericka! Ericka! Want to come help us! We're chasing down some thugs who beat up Bojack!
The black hole begins to get closer and bigger and Dan, Chris, and Elise all jump inside. Soon, the three of them were out of Hollywoo and back to their show in their universe and the real LA.
CHRIS: Safe at last.
ELISE: No more Hollywood Tour Buses.
DAN: Did any of you see the look on Bojack's face when I pulled a Pulp Fiction on him! laughs
CHRIS: I'm glad you didn't shoot him.
DAN: I used the gun to scare him a little so I can have him right where I wanted him! Best revenge scheme ever!
ELISE: Not to us it wasn't! I'll probably never forget!
DAN: looks around: Good. We're back in our own LA. With talking people and humans.
CHRIS: We may have gotten away but I still feel so terrible for Bojack.
CHRIS: Hey, you know what?
DAN: What, Chris?
CHRIS: That experience we had in Hollywoo made me want to watch Bojack Horseman!
ELISE: Good idea, Chris! We have Netflix! We'll watch on weekends. looks at the sky How is he doing?
Back in Hollywoo, Bojack was in Cedars Sinai Hospital. Mr. Peanutbutter, Princess Carolyn, and Todd were all by his bed side
TODD: You going to be okay, Bojack?
BOJACK: Yeah, the doctor said I have a broken nose and hairline fractures on my cheek. I should be home in a few weeks.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: My Mr Peanutbutter's House reunion show is being televised in a rerun. Want to see it, Bojack?
BOJACK: Yeah, I guess...
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Did you guys ever catch that brutal asswipe who did this to Bojack?
TODD: Sadly we didn't. Turns out that black hole really was real. They went in.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Well, karma will strike them one way or another.
Mr. Peanutbutter turns on the TV and instead Dan VS comes on and it gives Bojack bad flashbacks!
BOJACK: IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM! The guy who tried to kill me!
A Code Red was called out in the hospital. Two weeks later, Dan was in his apartment getting ready for the day. Then he hears a knock on the door.
DAN: Shit! Probably Chris again wanting me to do something for him.
Answering the door Dan sees Mr. Peanutbutter.
DAN: May I help you man in dog suit?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Are you Dan Mandel from the cartoon Dan VS?
DAN: Even if I am, who the hell are you?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Mr. PEANUTBUTTER!!!! punches Dan in the nose That was for BOJACK!
Dan falls flat to the floor and is knocked cold.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Now stay there and think about what you did to Bojack to shit piece of crap!
The End
Story: Dan Vs Bojack Horseman
by: Zoey Webber
On a Hollywood Tour Bus, going around LA and the homes of celebrities. In the back sits Chris, his girlfriend Elise, and their friend who's always hellbent on revenge, Dan Mandel.
BUS DRIVER: On your left we see the home of....
ELISE: Isn't this wonderful Chris!
CHRIS: Sure is! Fun to see all these celebrity homes and where they live.
ELISE: How are you liking it, Dan?
DAN: Who cares about a bunch of actors and actresses. They're just like everyone else, they put their pants on one leg at a time.
ELISE: Always has to be judgemental and realistic.
CHRIS: We can't change his mindset.
A black hole opens, the passengers mistake it for a bridge. Once the tour bus passes, everyone on board is now in Hollywoo. With animals and humans coexisting with each other.
DAN: WHAT?!?!!? Look at this! Animals! Walking around like humans?!
CHRIS: This can't be right.....shit! They're talking too!
ELISE: Did we take a detour to Disneyland or something?
CHRIS: There's even reptiles!
Confused by their surroundings. The other passengers didin't seem to notice, just Chris, Elise, and Dan did.
CHRIS sees the Hollywoo sign Even the Hollywood sign is different!
ELISE: It says Hollywoo! Where the hell is the "D"?
DAN: See? This was a bad idea from the very start! Are we in Comic Con or something!?
CHRIS: Maybe it's a Furry Convention!
The Tour Bus drove under a mansion on the hills. Inside the mansion lived the washed up has been sitcom actor known as Bojack Horseman. Inside Bojack was have an argument with Todd Chavez, his rent free living free loader roommate.
TODD: I swear, Bojack! I did not use your bong!
BOJACK: Oh really! I saw you clean the top of it so you won't think I know you used it.
TODD: I was cleaning it so it can be fresh for you.
BOJACK: Dumbest excuse I've ever heard. This is my lucky bong! If it breaks I lose all my good luck!
TODD: You never struck me as the supersitious type.
BOJACK: Sometimes you just make me so mad, Todd.
TODD: What can I do to make you stop?
BOJACK: Tell the truth, admit you used my bong!
TODD: Why would I want to use yours? I have my own shows his bong See?
BOJACK: All right! You're always want to be right all the time and trying to start something...
Grabbing his bong, Bojack takes it from Todd. Then the bong slips out of Bojack's hand and flies out the window.
TODD: OH NO!
BOJACK: No worries! My bong is unbreakable! Still good.....please be....
The bong from Bojack Horseman's mansion lands on Dan's head.
DAN: OUCH!!
CHRIS: Dan! You're badly hurt!
ELISE: Stop the bus!
The Tour Bus Driver stopped and dropped off Chris, Elise, and Dan. The bong didn't break luckily. Elise picked up the bong.
ELISE: It's a bong.
DAN whoozy: Can someone get the licence plate number of that truck that hit me?
CHRIS: No, it wasn't a truck that hit you. It was the bong.
DAN sees the bong: Some old drugged up hippie must own it.
CHRIS: He's not bleeding.
ELISE: That's good, we still need to get him to a hospital.
DAN: NO! I'm not going to a hospital! You want to wait 8 hours in the ER? Is that what you want? I'm not Robin Williams In Awakenings!
CHRIS: We just want to make sure your head is okay.
ELISE: Blows to the head can be very serious.
DAN: OKay, you can take me, it is painful to be honest.
CHRIS: We'll say you have a head injury, they're sure to take you in faster.
ELISE: Good idea.
As Chris and Elise were going to take Dan to the hospital, Bojack Horseman sees they have his bong.
BOJACK: Uhhh, excuse me. Yes you.
CHRIS: Did that horse just talk?
ELISE: I think so.....are you lost?
BOJACK: No, I'm missing my bong. Can I have it back please?
Elise and Chris handed the bong back to Bojack. Dan got a good look at him.
BOJACK: Come to papa, baby! So happy you're not broken.
DAN: What's your name, don't tell me. Mister Ed.
BOJACK: Ha ha, no. I'm Bojack Horseman! I used to be the star of Horsin' Around. Have a nice day.
Going back to his mansion, Bojack takes his bong with him.
DAN: I didn't catch the name of that horse.
CHRIS: We'll tell you after we take you to the hospital.
While at the hospital. Doctor Allen Hu was examining him.
DR HU: It seems to be no sign of concussion. Just a minor bump on the head. No worries. He'll be fine.
CHRIS: Thank you, doctor.
DAN: You wouldn't happen to know anyone who owns a bong do you?
DR HU: I know many people, but I do not keep track of all my patients.
ELISE: Oh by the way. How come there's talking and walking animals around here?
DR HU: Ahhh, you must be from the real world, yes? This is an alternate universe where animals, reptiles, and humans co-exist. Welcome to Hollywoo. I'll sign for your release.
Walking out of the hospital. Chris and Elise were looking over their new surroundings.
ELISE: Hollywoo. Wonder why it's called that?
CHRIS: Search me.
DAN: Hey, you guys didn't tell me the name of that horse. You know, the one with the bong.
ELISE: Oh him. His name was Horseshoe something...
CHRIS: I know, I remember. His name was Bojack Horseman! Yeah that's it!
Elise and Chris run away as soon as they sense that Dan was seething with rage.
CHRIS: SHIT! Here he goes again!
With all his and determination, Dan shouts into the sky whenever he wants to do someone in and put them in their place.
DAN: BOJACK HORSEMAN!!!!!!
The words "DAN VS BOJACK HORSEMAN" appear.
Back in the mansion, Bojack is inside with his bong.
TODD: It's not broken is it?
BOJACK: Nope, made of unbreakable glass.
TODD: That's a relief for sure.
BOJACK: Sorry I got mad at you and assumed you used my bong.
TODD: No hard feelings. I'm used to it by now. One day you're depressed and the next you're raging.
BOJACK: Story of my life.
A knock is heard on the door. Todd goes to open it and it's Mr. Peanutbutter.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Hey guys! How's my favorite best friend and former rival doing today?
TODD: Mr, Peanutbutter! What brings you here?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Two things. One: Princess Carolyn just built a casino with a restaurant inside, albeit not a real one. Just used for movies.
BOJACK: What's number 2?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: You're both invited to a Mr. Peanutbutter's House reunion! It's going to be so awesome to reunited with Zoe and Zelda!
BOJACK: I'm not going!
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Why not?
BOJACK: Don't feel like it. I'm going to get some more weed, instead. Running low on it. All Todd's fault!
TODD: Oh no! I thought we just made up! Your precious bong is okay and....
BOJACK: I know you've been stealing my weed and using your own bong with it.
TODD: That weed is for both of us and....
BOJACK: ENOUGH! You get your own and I have mine, thought that was the deal!
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Hey, Todd! Would you like to come? Get away from David Gale here.
TODD: Like that Kevin Spacey movie where he plays a worngful convicted man on Death Row. Bojack here is wrongfully accusing me of using his weed and acts like I should be on death row for it! I'm there!
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Forgot to mention that casino/restaurant is across the street from your Weed Store. Don;t get any funny ideas.
BOJACK: Shut up and just go!
Todd goes with Mr. Peanutbutter to see the TV Show reunion. Bojack goes to the weed store. Dan, Chris, and Elise were walking over to Bojack's mansion after getting out of the hospital.
DAN: We all know where this horse lives now. Here is what we're going to do...
CHRIS: Involving us in one of your revenge schemes.
ELISE: You're not going to hurt him are you?
DAN: I want to. As soon as we see Bojack leave his house, the trash it!
CHRIS: I'll help you trash his mansion and that's as far as I'm going to go.
ELISE: By all means, me too.
DAN: That's fine. Then afterwards I'll handle the rest.
Chris, Elise and Dan go inside Bojack's mansion. It had many stairs and they were all out of breath trying to climb them all.
ELISE: Dan, wait. Please. We can't keep up.
CHRIS: We need our energy to help you trash his place, don't we?
Dan walked up the stairs to Bojack's mansion like a proud champion. Chris and Elise caught up eventually. In another part of Hollywoo where Bojack Horseman was at his favorite weed store. Princess Carolyn was holding a rally for the opening of the Casino/Restaurant that was going to be used for a movie set. A crowd was gathered around.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Ladies and Gentlemen. It is with great pleasure that I proudly present to you. Hollywoo's Casino and Restaurant!
The crowd cheers on. Vanessa Gecko was getting raedy to cut the ribbon.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: But! It is only to be used to actors and actresses who are in movies. Got it. Vanessa! Cut the ribbon!
Cutting the ribbon, Vanessa gives Princess Carolyn the stink eye and the crowd claps with a round of applause. Across the street. Bojack Horseman hears everything.
BOJACK: Hmmm. Mr. Peanutbutter wasn't wasn't lying about that.
With his bong ready and his bag of weed he bought. Bojack was ready to go home.
BOJACK: Finally! Some alone time!
Back at Bojack's mansion. Dan, Chris, and Elise were tearing the place apart feel the durress Dan had put upon them.
CHRIS: You know. Bojack Horseman didn't know he hit you with his bong, Dan. He doesn't even know you exist!
ELISE: You're not going to get physical with him, are you?
DAN: Doesn't matter if he knows me or if he doesn't. Whoever fucks with me I shall eliminate them. Whether they know me or not!
CHRIS: Dan can we just say something here...
DAN: No! You both are NOT allowed to speak.
Elise and Chris look at Dan as if he were going to make a speech.
DAN: When we were on that tour bus, we were the only ones who noticed that black hole that lead us here to this 'universe' where animals, reptiles, and humans. We were sent here for a reason.
CHRIS: I don't care what the reason is. I just want to get back to the real LA.
ELISE: I do too.
DAN: Will you listen to me for once in your pathetic lives? The reason we came here thought that black hole is for me to get revenge on Bojack Horseman!
ELISE: Dan, if you do end up hurting Bojack, wouldn't you feel bad knowing that you hurt an animal?
DAN: I don't plan to hurt him right away. What I will do is, once you two leave. Hide in his house and find out where he likes to hang out and BAM! Kick his ass there!
ELISE: It's not Bojack's fault you were hit with that bong you know.
DAN: Oh yes it is. He just doesn't know it yet.
CHRIS: You're talking about the destruction of one of the greatest adult cartoons that ever was made!
ELISE: Yeah, don't you know Bojack is a depressed posse sitcom actor? Besides are you going to go after all the other characters too?
DAN: No, just Bojack! His ass will be mine!
CHRIS: Are we done yet?
ELISE: Can we go now?
DAN: You both are dismissed. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be the "Inside Man!" laughs get it!
CHRIS and ELISE: Thank you.
ELISE to Chris: He's no Spike Lee.
Dan continues to trash Bojack's mansion. Chris and Elise try to find a hotel to stay at. Dan hides away in Bojack's mansion. In a matter of moments. Bojack comes inside to have fun with his weed.
BOJACK: Finally! Alone with my weed! No Todd, No Mr Peanutbutter! just Me, Myself, and Irene. Oops! I mean me, myself and my weed!
Dan goes around Bojack's mansion while Bojack was on a weed high to dig up some dirt. Dan finds everything bad Bojack has ever done via computer than prints them all out on paper. Bojack had no idea someone was in his mansion or using his computer and printer. At a hotel Chris and Elise were concerned about Dan.
CHRIS: We can't sit here and let Dan hurt Bojack Horseman.
ELISE: If we do, Dan will never forgive us.
CHRIS: So you and I don't have a choice but to let him do what he pleases with Bojack?
ELISE: I know! Maybe we can warn someone he knows.
CHRIS: That's a good start, but who does Bojack know? Hell, who do we know around here?
ELISE: Easy! goes to a computer We will look up characters from the show.
CHRIS: All right.
Elise goes though the Bojack Horseman Wikia, and finds tons of characters who know Bojack.
CHRIS: How about that dog looking dude, Mr. Peanutbutter? He seems legit. It says that he and Bojack used to be rivals.
ELISE: Also this Todd Chavez guy, question is where do we find these guys?
CHRIS: Want to try Google Earth?
ELISE: Excellent!
Thanks to the help of Google Earth, Chris and Elise were only able to locate one of the characters. Princess Carolyn. Who's in the office of her agency called VIM.
CHRIS: That's Princess Carolyn, we looked her up.
ELISE: She's one of Bojack's ex's!
CHRIS: Precisely! She's the key to helping us get Dan away from Bojack!
ELISE: Call a taxi, Chris. We're going to VIM!
Dan was still at Bojack Horseman's mansion. About to sneak away without being noticed. Dan hears Bojack mumble to himself while high on weed.
BOJACK: My weed store has a Casino and Restuarant across the street.....Princess Carolyn opened it.....stupidest bitch I've ever known....
DAN: Awesome! Now to call Chris and Elise.
Running out of Bojack's mansion. Elise and Chris were now in a Taxi Cab. Dan calls Chris on his cellphone. Chris answers it.
CHRIS: Hello?
DAN: Hey, Chris!
CHRIS: DAN! Where are you?
DAN: I know a way to get back at Bojack!
CHRIS: Actually we were on our way to.
ELISE takes phone away from Chris: Give me that. Dan! I just want you to know that....
Dan cuts off Elise before she can say that she and Chris were on their way to VIM to warn Princess Carolyn that Dan was after Bojack. Dan used a ball of tin foil to pretend his call was breaking up. Elise gives the phone back to Chris.
ELISE: He did the stupid tin foil trick again.
CHRIS: Dan! It's Chris again. What's this plan to have to get Bojack?
DAN: I just found out he has a criminal record. That's something we can use against him. Not only that, he likes to hang out at some casino and restaurant right across the street from that weed store he goes to. So, drop everything you both are doing. Go to the Casino and Restuarant and wait for me there. You both will pretend to be a cook and a waitress. I'll be the manager.
CHRIS: Okay, Dan. Whatever you say. Bye.
ELISE: Oh no! He's going to involve us again?
CHRIS: Dan found out that Bojack is some type of criminal, maybe we'll be doing something good in helping him with Bojack.
ELISE: Well, all right. Nobody likes a criminal. Where does he want us to go?
CHRIS: Taxi, take us to that Casino Resturant Place.
ELISE: Yes, forget VIM.
TAXI DRIVER: You got it.
Chris and Elise were now on their way in the taxi to Hollywoo Casino and Restaurant. Dan went back inside Bojack's mansion and picked him up.
DAN: You Will Be My Victim Thoughout Eterntity! I Will Share The Endless Passion Of Immortal Revenge!
Putting Bojack in his own car. Dan drives with Bojack passed out on weed in the back seat.
DAN: I loved Dracula, Dead and Loving It! That movie needs more appreciation! Which is more than I can say for you, Bojack Horse's Ass-man! cackles
Chris and Elise are now waiting for Dan to arrive at Hollywoo Casino and Restaurant. Elise hears a car coming in their direction.
ELISE: He even stole a car?
CHRIS: That's Dan for you, going though get lengths to get his revenge!
Dan parks Bojack's car in the driveway and runs inside carrying Bojack.
CHRIS: Dan! You're here!
DAN: Now, here is what I want you guys to do. As I said before. Elise, you're the waitress! Chris you're the cook, and I'll pretend to be a manager and ask what Bojack here wants to eat.
ELISE: OKay.
Bojack wakes up from the weed high he had. Now fully awake, Bojack sees Chris, Dan, and Elise appear before him.
CHRIS: Hello Bojack! Today Is a very special day for you.
BOJACK: Really? How did I get here?
ELISE: Never mind that. No time to explain. Welcome to...sing it..
DAN, CHRIS, and ELISE singing: Hollywoo Casino and Resturant!
BOJACK: Oh yes. This casino Princess Carolyn had built to use as a movie set.
DAN: It's not a movie set. It's actually a real restuarant and casino.
CHRIS: And YOU are our first costumer!
ELISE: What'll it be Bojack?
BOJACK: Okay, let's see. I guess a double cheeseburger with bacon and a side of fries.
DAN: Or maybe you'd like to try our Big Kahuna Burger!
BOJACK: That sounds better. Sign me up for that!
ELISE: You got it. Big Kahuna Burger with bacon and a side of fries!
Much to their surprise, there actually was restaurant style food in the 'movie studio'. Chris cooks the hamburger and Elise deep fries the french fries.
DAN: Oh boy! He has NO idea what he's in for!
BOJACK: Get me a cola too!
CHRIS: All right!
When the food was done, Elise served it to Bojack along with the cola.
ELISE: Here you go! A side of fries, Big Kahuna Burger and a cola! Enjoy your meal!
BOJACK: Thank you very much. eats the burger Best burger ever! Wish I could've made these type of burgers for Olivia, Sabrina, and Ethan when I was on Horsin' Around!
Dan gives a signal to Chris and Elise to come to him.
CHRIS: When you are going to attack?
DAN: Let him enjoy his meal first....maybe in a few seconds.
ELISE: I feel so bad for him. I mean he's a your typical washed up actor he's never had a comeback and probably never will.
CHRIS: Yes, from what we heard about him. Back in the 90's He Was On A Very Famous TV Show.
DAN: Isn't that what the theme song says?
ELISE: More like ending theme song.
CHRIS: So what are these 'dirty deeds' you discovered Bojack has done?
DAN: You'll find out soon enough!
BOJACK: Mmmm. This burger tastes so much better after a weed high.
Dan slowly moves over to Bojack. Now Dan was standing next to the table where Bojack was sitting.
BOJACK: Can I talk to the manager? This by far is a very tasty burger.
DAN: I am the manager! I appreiciate your approval. But as manager I am obligated to taste my own food.
BOJACK: Okay, whatever.
DAN: I want a bite of it please.
Bojack hands the burger to Dan and he bites into it.
DAN: MMMMMMM!!! That's a mighty fine hamburger! Mind of I have some cola to wash it down.
BOJACK: Weird place, sure.
Dan sips the cola. Then pulls a gun on Bojack.
BOJACK: You have a gun on ME! What type of business is THIS!
DAN: So you're the ever so famous Bojack Horseman is that correct?
BOJACK: Y..ee..sss... why?
DAN: You are the asshole who threw out his bong and hit me over the head with it!
BOJACK: I had no idea. At least you didn't die. I'm no Amanda Bynes and...
DAN: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME TALK! Ever since I found out that bong belonged to you, I've lead you here into a trap!
BOJACK: TRAP? TRAP!! So this was all a set up?
DAN: It is! Before I make Swiss cheese out of you, I am going to use what I found out about you over the years. The horrible things that you have DONE!
BOJACK sobs: Oh no! Please, I beg you! Let me go and leave me alone. I won't tell anyone, I promise!
DAN: Promises are empty!
BOJACK: All right, okay! What are these bad things I did!
Chris and Elise were summoned by Dan to go over to him. Chris and Elise were handed some papers that Dan found of Bojack's crimes.
ELISE: Would you like us to read some?
DAN: I'll do it first! Number one! You left your own mother to die alone in the nursing home!
CHRIS points finger at Bojack: SHAME! SHAME! How could you do that to your own mother. The one who loved you, raised you and gave you everything you needed!
BOJACK: My mom was an abusive bitch! You don't understand!
ELISE: You also were on a game show where Mr. Peanutbutter was a host and you gave up over $500,000 to piss off the Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe!
BOJACK: I know what I did...I never liked Daniel Radcliffe okay?
CHRIS: You also gave terrible advice to one of your sitcom co stars. The one called Sarah Lynn! Then you went on a cross country spree with her and she ended up dead in a planetarium!
BOJACK: Oooooohhhhhh! Sorry for that! I own up for what I did. I regret waiting 17 minutes to call the police.
DAN: You also betrayed Herb Kazazz. Because you found out he was a homosexual!
BOJACK: I didn't know what to think! I was in shock!
ELISE: Then you were on a new show called Philbert and strangled one of your co stars.
BOJACK: Please Please Stop! I'd rather die right here and right now! cries
DAN: Worst of all, you damaged a relationship you have with someone named Penny and you almost kissed her teen daughter at the time.
BOJACK: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! DON'T REMIND ME OF THAT?!?!?!?!
DAN: You are the worst Horse actor who ever lived!
CHRIS: There's nothing good about you and there never will be!
ELISE: So, do you want to shoot him.
DAN: Not right now, but I will do this. points gun at Bojack.
BOJACK: deh......heh......heh.....
DAN: Do you speak English! What country are you from?
BOJACK: Uh what!
DAN: That's no country I never heard of! Do they speak English in "WHAT!"
Bojack was still hovering in fear.
DAN: You read the Bible?
BOJACK: In Sunday school I did.
DAN: Well, there's this passage I got memorized so it fits this! Ezekiel 25:17. The Path Of The Rightous Man is Beset On All Sides By The Inequities Of the Selfish And The Tyanny Of Evil.
BOJACK: OKay.....
DAN: Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
BOJACK: Let me guess here, and I will strike down...
DAN: THAT'S RIGHT! AND I WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGENCE AND FURIOUS ANGER THOSE WHO ATTEMPT TO POISON AND DESTROY MY BROTHERS! AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENENGE UPON THEE!
Chris and Elise step back when Dan shoot his gun at Bojack that sends him running. Bojack kept running from the bullets that Dan was shooting at him.
ELISE: Well, I guess this is the end of Bojack Horseman then.
CHRIS: Just as long as Dan doesn't actually kill him I guess I'm okay with it.
Princess Carolyn, Mr. Peanutbutter and Todd were walking with her to see the Hollywoo Casino and Resturant movie set
TODD: We sure had fun at your reunion show, Mr. Peanutbutter.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: After seeing it, now you know why my show was better than Horsin' Around!
PRINCESS CAROLYN: For showing us a good time at your show, and I have something to share with you both! My Movie Studio that looks like a Casino and Restaurant that's only used for movies and......
Mr. Peanutbutter went inside first, then Todd and Princess Carolyn soon followed. What they see is Dan beating up Bojack Horseman senselessly as Chris and Elise watch.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: What the hell is all this?!?!!? You guys just can't come in here and beat up Bojack Horseman like this!
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Hey, Todd. I think Bojack finally got what was coming to him for getting mad at you about his bong and weed! laughing
TODD: I don't really think that's very funny.
DAN punching Bojack: You do not...NOT throw your bong out the window when you never know when someone could be.....
PRINCESS CAROLYN: SSSTTTOOOOPPPPP!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!?!!!
Dan, Chris, and Elise froze as soon as Princess Carolyn ordered Dan to stop.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Bojack Horseman is really nothing much to look at. But why beat up him.
BOJACK: Very funny, Mr....spits blood
TODD: He's spitting up blood! This is bad! Very bad!
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Who are you young man? What right do you have of being on this movie set I built from the ground up!
DAN: You don't understand, this SOB throw a bong out the window and it hit me. I then tracked him down and....
TODD to Chris and Elise: You guys! Do you know anything about this man beating up Bojack?
Chris and Elise shook their heads "no" and Dan gives them a angry look.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Should we call the police on this?
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Yes absolutely we should and....
Then Todd, Mr. Peanutbutter and Princess Carolyn noticed gun shots.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Gunshots! Meow Meow Fuzzyface will be very interested to know about this.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: You're facing some serious charges here.
TODD: Wait'll get to jail, it's no picnic! Trust me!
DAN: You're not sending us to jail, because we're not from this world.
Mr. Peanutbutter goes to call an ambulance for Bojack.
CHRIS: He's right, you see. We were on a tour bus in our world then we got sucked into this black hole before we knew it we were here!
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Likely story! Been watching too much Babylon 5 I see!
ELISE: Are we going to be arrested too?
TODD: Probably!
DAN: Guys, let's try to find this black hole and get the FUCK OUT OF HOLLYWOO!
Chris, Elise, and Dan all run out of the Hollywoo Casino and Restaurant.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Get them! I'll stay here with Bojack until ambulance arrives.
Todd and Mr. Peanutbutter chase Dan, Chris, and Elise.
CHRIS: Thanks a lot Dan for getting us involved in your Revenge Against Bojack Horseman Scheme.
ELISE: Now because of you we'll probably face prison time. If we don't get out of here.
DAN: Shut up both of you, I see the black hole coming!
TODD: STOP! STOP! STOP! These flip flops aren't getting me very far.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: You won't get away that easily!
The chase soon ends when Mr. Peanutbutter sees "Ericka" .
TODD: Why did we stop?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Ericka! Ericka! Want to come help us! We're chasing down some thugs who beat up Bojack!
The black hole begins to get closer and bigger and Dan, Chris, and Elise all jump inside. Soon, the three of them were out of Hollywoo and back to their show in their universe and the real LA.
CHRIS: Safe at last.
ELISE: No more Hollywood Tour Buses.
DAN: Did any of you see the look on Bojack's face when I pulled a Pulp Fiction on him! laughs
CHRIS: I'm glad you didn't shoot him.
DAN: I used the gun to scare him a little so I can have him right where I wanted him! Best revenge scheme ever!
ELISE: Not to us it wasn't! I'll probably never forget!
DAN: looks around: Good. We're back in our own LA. With talking people and humans.
CHRIS: We may have gotten away but I still feel so terrible for Bojack.
CHRIS: Hey, you know what?
DAN: What, Chris?
CHRIS: That experience we had in Hollywoo made me want to watch Bojack Horseman!
ELISE: Good idea, Chris! We have Netflix! We'll watch on weekends. looks at the sky How is he doing?
Back in Hollywoo, Bojack was in Cedars Sinai Hospital. Mr. Peanutbutter, Princess Carolyn, and Todd were all by his bed side
TODD: You going to be okay, Bojack?
BOJACK: Yeah, the doctor said I have a broken nose and hairline fractures on my cheek. I should be home in a few weeks.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: My Mr Peanutbutter's House reunion show is being televised in a rerun. Want to see it, Bojack?
BOJACK: Yeah, I guess...
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Did you guys ever catch that brutal asswipe who did this to Bojack?
TODD: Sadly we didn't. Turns out that black hole really was real. They went in.
PRINCESS CAROLYN: Well, karma will strike them one way or another.
Mr. Peanutbutter turns on the TV and instead Dan VS comes on and it gives Bojack bad flashbacks!
BOJACK: IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM! The guy who tried to kill me!
A Code Red was called out in the hospital. Two weeks later, Dan was in his apartment getting ready for the day. Then he hears a knock on the door.
DAN: Shit! Probably Chris again wanting me to do something for him.
Answering the door Dan sees Mr. Peanutbutter.
DAN: May I help you man in dog suit?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Are you Dan Mandel from the cartoon Dan VS?
DAN: Even if I am, who the hell are you?
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Mr. PEANUTBUTTER!!!! punches Dan in the nose That was for BOJACK!
Dan falls flat to the floor and is knocked cold.
MR. PEANUTBUTTER: Now stay there and think about what you did to Bojack to shit piece of crap!
The End
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