Categories > Cartoons > Paradise PD
First up, I want to dedicate this fanfic to my lifelong friend on Macfarlane Verse Proboards: Okamura Yokoyama! Give him a huge him everyone! He gave me a suggestion to use the Banana Aliens from Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi to be the villains in this.
Allow me introduce to you possible the very first Paradise PD Crossover Fanfic With Moral Orel! Let's get on with the show!
Paradise PD and Morel Orel
Fanfic Title:
Don't Look For Orel Now
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
At a nearby hotel. Clay and Bloberta Puppington were just about getting done with their vacation in Paradise.
Clay: Wow! What a great time we had here.
Bloberta: I'm going to miss this place.
Clay: Although it didn't have any tourist attractions, we still had fun.
Bloberta: Orel sure seemed to enjoy that pond very much.
Clay: We'll come back next year. I loved that bar!
Bloberta: Hmm, wonder why? Where is Orel? Have you seen him? We're going to miss our flight back.
Clay: I'll go check.
Outside the hotel. Orel was playing around the pond. Orel had a red ball he he carrying around.
Bloberta (sees Orel at the lake): Orel! Come on! Get your ass back here now!
Orel: I'm coming!
Running to make his way back to the hotel. Orel tripped on a rock and his red ball went flying into the pond.
Orel: Oh no! My ball! I have to get my ball!
Clay: Never mind your ball! (closes the door) Let's get packing.
Once Bloberta and Clay were packing their clothes and shut their suitcases, a red drink spilled on the table.
Clay: Shit!
Bloberta: Who cares? Let the hotel maids clean it.
There was screaming outside it came from Orel.
Orel: Dad! Help! I'm drowning! Save me!
Bloberta: Oh no! That's Orel. He's in trouble.
Clay: I'll go save him.
Running out of the hotel room. Clay was already too late. Bloberta stepped in the red spilled drink that was seeping towards her. Clay ran to the pond where Orel was playing with his ball.
Clay: OREL! OREL! OREL!
Jumping into the lake trying to find his son. Clay finds Orel but it was already too late. Orel was dead of drowning. Clay picked up his dead son from the lake and screamed.
Clay (in slow motion): NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Bloberta (runs out of the hotel room): What happened?!?!?! What's going on!
Clay: It's Orel! He's dead. He must've lost his ball in the pond and drowned.
Bloberta: (shakes Orel's body): Could be he's trying to fuck with us you know! Wake up!
Clay: Its no use. He's dead. Feel how cold he is!
Bloberta: I feel no heartbeat or pulse!
Clay: OREL! OREL! (tries CPR but no response)
Bloberta: What will we do now?
Clay: We'll have to stay in Paradise a little while longer.
Hobo Cop is behind them.
Bloberta: I know! We'll call an ambulance! This is the worst thing that has ever happened to us. (cries)
Hobo Cop: Forget the ambulance! Why not call the Paradise PD instead?
Clay: Who are you?
Hobo Cop: They call me Hobo Cop. Call the Paradise PD. They're your only hope now.
Bloberta: Better do what this bum says.
Clay: OKay, I'll call the Paradise PD.
Running to the lobby of the hotel. Clay runs in and uses the phone to call the Paradise PD.
Scene 2:
Around the pond at the hotel where Orel drowned. The Paradise PD were investigating the scene. Clay and Bloberta were watching everything in grief and shock. Orel was being taken away by an ambulance.
Clay: Oh my poor son.
In Clay's hand there was a family picture that had red drink over it. The picture had Clay, Bloberta, and Orel all sitting in the Mayor's office.
Bloberta: Drowning in a pond, a terrible way to go.
Clay: All he wanted was to get his ball back.
Randall: Okay, Paradise PD. Look around for anything suspicious!
Kevin: Right Dad!
Gina: Hmmm, no sign of foul play.
Dusty: Nobody around here wanted the kid dead.
Bullet (grabs the ball from the pond): Hmmm, nice ball! Think I'll fuck it later like I did with that bowling ball!
Randall: That's tampering with evidence! (takes away ball)
Stanley: Maybe your son is still alive! Probably living with Cornel Wilde In Leave Her To Heaven.
Clay: So what did you all find out?
Kevin: Well, there's no signs that anybody pushed your son in.
Dusty: Any reason why he went into the pond?
Bloberta: You see we were taking a vacation here in Paradise...
Bullet: Why in the world would anyone want to vacation in THIS place?
Clay: Why does that matter? Well, we were just about ready to leave and Orel was outside playing around the pond.
Gina: OKay, what else?
Clay: We told him to hurry up and he didn't want to leave without his ball.
Randall: Go on....
Bloberta: You Guys are treating us like suspects!
Randall: We're the Paradise PD! It's what we do!
Gina: Yeah we do that for standard procedure! Continue with the story please.
Bloberta: Then some red stuff fell all over our luggage and before we knew it we heard Orel screaming for help.
Kevin: Don't worry guys. I won't treat you like a suspect. What else happened after?
Clay: Then we heard screaming from the pond and....sure enough, it was Orel who was trying to get his ball....(sobs)
Bloberta: Clay got Orel out of the pond and he isn't breathing! (sobs)
Clay: Where did you take Orel?
Bullet: To the local hospital. It's just 2 miles down from here.
Gina (takes the picture with the red drink on it): You a mayor or something? What's with the red stuff? It's blood isn't it?
Clay: No No! It was Faygo Redpop! (takes the picture) Give that back please.
Bloberta and Clay were looking at the picture. It shows Clay, Orel, and Bloberta together. In the background there was a figure with a red cloak which was the same color as Orel's ball.
Clay: Oh look, who's the guy in the red cloak.
Bloberta: You're right. Never noticed that before.
Dusty: Excuse me, you've never seen what before.
Gina: I found a family photo of them.
Dusty and Gina look at the strange figure in the red cloak.
Bloberta: Do you see it too.
Dusty: Maybe this red cloaked dude. Perhaps he's the culprit.
Gina: Excellent thinking there Dusty.
Clay: Can one of you guys call us a cab?
Bullet: What for?
Bloberta: We want to go to the hospital to see if Orel is okay.
Kevin: Sure, I can call you one.
Randall: Everything is done here and....
Gina: Not quite.
Randall: What do you mean?
Dusty: These guys have a family photo with a weird cloaked dude.
Kevin called for a cab that is going to take Clay and Bloberta to the Doctor's Office. While Randall, Bullet, Gina, Dustym and Stanley all observed the Puppington Family Photo.
Dusty: Could the two be connected?
Randall: We're police so it's our job to investigate!
The cab came and took Clay and Bloberta to the hospital.
Scene 3:
Inside the waiting room at the Paradise Hospital. Clay and Bloberta were waiting for Dr Funtlichter to come out and tell them news about Orel.
Bloberta: Please let our baby be okay. I don't want to be like Shirley MacLaine in Terms Of Endearment! (cries)
Clay: What is taking that doctor so long?
Bloberta: Can't believe the last thing we said to poor Orel was "get your ass back here"...
Clay: We also told him to "never mind his ball..."
Finally Dr. Funtlichter came out to give the Puppingtons some news.
Bloberta: If only I can talk to Orel just once more?
Clay: So, Doctor. What's the bottom line?
Dr. Funtlichter: I'm afraid your son Orel didn't make it.....
Clay and Bloberta both cry and hug each other.
Dr. Funtlichter: You might want to say some final words to him.
Clay: Is he at all still alive.
Dr. Funtlichter: No he isn't. If it makes you feel any better. Due to popular belief you can talk to the dead. And they do hear you...
Clay and Bloberta go to see Orel who was laying on a hospital bed. Orel was obviously deceased. Clay and Bloberta stand over him. Then Bullet walks in with Randall, Kevin, Stanley, Gina, and Dusty.
Bloberta: Oh look. It's those policemen who helped us.
Clay: Helped us my ass. More like questioned us.
Randall: We observed that family photo of yours.
Kevin: Yes, that's what we came to tell you.
Clay: What about it? That person in the red cloak right?
Gina: Yes. He's the prime suspect in this.
Dusty: There is a way we can track this fucker down.
Bloberta: Really how?
Bullet: Come with us to the Pentacoastal Church. We can hold a seance!
Randall: We'll track this piece of shit down the psychic way! Although I'm not really into that bullcrap.
Clay: Really? Can we also talk to Orel too?
Dusty: Oh yes! We can do both. Track down the cloaked dude and talk to your son!
Clay: There's so many things we wish we could've said to him.
Randall (whispers to Kevin in a sing song voice): They sound guil-tee!
Clay: What was that?
Randall: Nothing nothing.....
Bloberta: Yes, I'll agree to that. But what exactly happens at a seance?
Bullet: Seriously? You don't know what the fuck happens at a seance? Ever seen A Haunting In Venice or Drag Me To Hell?
Gina: Come with us now.
Clay and Bloberta follow Randall, Dusty, Bullet, Gina, and Kevin to the Paradise Pentacostal Church.
Scene 4:
In the Lovely Corp building. Fitz, Brett DeMarco and Frank were reviewing their profits. By showing Fitz a pie chart. Fitz was sitting at a desk.
Fitz: How have our profits been holding up this month? Or even year!
Frank Flipperfist: Our sales have gone up in the past year or so!
Fitz: Meaning?
Brett DeMarco: We're going to be bigger than any company in China could ever be!
Fitz: What's the bottom line?
Frank Flipperfist: We're rich! Getting richer by the moment. What more is there to say!
Fitz: YES! YES! YES! This is the greatest day of my life. (Jumps out of his chair at his desk)
Brett DeMarco: This is all because the Paradise PD isn't even bothering to try to stop us!
Fitz: Who would've thought I'd find more success at being the head of Lovely Corp than I ever did being a Kingpin!
A flash of lights lit up the room.
Fitz: What is fuck is that!
Brett DeMarco: It's coming from outside.
Zeta (runs into room) Daddy Fitz! What are those lights?
Fitz: We're about to find out!
Brett, Frank, Fitz, and Zeta all run out to see a UFO flying over Lovely Corp.
Fitz: Holy fuck! It's a UFO!
Zeta: They really are real!
Frank Flipperfist: What does it want from us?
A voice boomed from inside the UFO.
UFO: We're glad you asked! We are a friendly alien species.
Fitz: I'm not falling for that bullshit for a second!
UFO: Oh, but we are. We came to Earth to destroy evil corporations such as this one right here!
Brett DeMarco: Oh fuck no! Let's fight!
Fitz: You're on!
Zeta: What should we use? I know! Rocks will be good.
Frank, Zeta, Fitz, and Brett all gathered around and threw rocks and even shot guns at the UFO.
UFO: We had a prediction you were going to attack us. Your weapons are worthless against us. Anyrape, yikes! I mean anyWAY, instead of destroying your evil company, we'll abduct one of you!
Frank Flipperfist: Oh no. Is this going to be like the X-Files?
UFO: Oh no. We don't get inspired by foolish Earth programs.
Frank Flipperfist: I know one you should never watch Late Night With Stephen Colbert!
UFO: Don't tempt us!
Brett DeMarco: Sure seems like you get your ideas from TV!
Frank Flipperfist: In that show X-Files, David Duchovny's sister got abducted by UFOs.
UFO: We were not aware. You guys made us lose our train of thought! Where were we, oh yes! One of you will be kidnapped!
Fitz: What are you going to do? Kidnap one of us and zap the rest of us with a death ray like War Of The Worlds?
UFO: Oh no. We don't stoop to that level of jackass stupidity.
Zeta: Ooooh, Daddy Fitz! Who're they going to kidnap?
Fitz: Everything will be fine, Zeta. I won't let them get you.
UFO: We're not going to kidnap the child. Like we said, We never stoop that low. However we're going to kidnap the best employee!
Brett DeMarco: Oh you must mean me, right?
UFO: Correct!
Brett DeMarco: Why? Because I was the one who called out the attack?
UFO: Yes! And now you will be the perfect specimen for our project!
A light beam shone on Brett as he was being beamed up into the UFO. Brett DeMarco was gone.
Frank Flipperfist: Those son of a bitch shitheads! Where is he?
Fitz: They took him! Like in Fire In The Sky!
Zeta: Things won't be the same without Uncle Brett. I miss him already. (cries)
The UFO flies away into the sky. However it was still within sight.
Fitz: We'll get him back somehow! Because we're Lovely Corp! Nothing ever keeps us down! Not even UFOs!
Frank Flipperfist: Right! How about we take the limo and follow the UFO!
Following Frank's advice. Fitz, Zeta, and Frank all jump into the limo though the windows and drive off.
Fitz: Why did we all go in like that without using the doors?
Frank Flipperfist: That's what the Dukes of Hazzard used to do.
Fitz: No wonder aliens never get inspiration from quote unquote "Foolish Earth Programs".
Zeta: Ooooh! Uncle Brett! Please don't let the UFO kill him....
Scene 5:
Randall has arrived at the Pentecostal Church along with Kevin, Dusty, Gina, Bullet, and Stanley. Clay and Bloberta were in tow
Stanley: Haven't been to a cathedral like this since the movie The Sign Of The Cross.
Clay: Is this where we're going to have our seance?
Randall: Of course it is.
Kevin: Where are you guys from?
Bloberta: We live in Statesota.
Dusty: Don't you mean, Minnesota?
Clay: No it's a state between Kansas and Missouri.
Gina: We never heard of it.
Bloberta: The town is called Moralton.
Dusty: Hmmm, interesting. You guys might want to light some candles for this.
Bullet (looks on smartphone): It does exist! Both the city and the state!
Randall: Bullet, light candle and give it to Clay and Bloberta!
Bullet: No problem! I'll be more than happy to Light My Fire! (laughs)
Randall: This is no time for jokes and Jim Morrison references!
Clay and Bloberta were handed a lighted candle by Bullet. Clay began to light the candles. Then Edna Dorseldigits enters the church's main room.
Edna: Are you guys doing a seance?
Kevin: Yes we are. Why do you ask?
Edna: Can I be a part of it too?
Gina: Why would you want to?
Edna: I have psychic abilities. (sees Clay and Bloberta) I know all about you two. And your who son died of drowning. Plus, you guys are looking for a red cloaked figure in a family picture, correct?
Bloberta: Yes! How did you know?
Edna: Quite simple really.
Clay: Do you speak to the dead too?
Edna: Yes I can.
Bloberta: How is he doing? Our son Orel?
Edna: I've spoken to him and he says he's happy.
Bullet: Are we going to do this thing or are we going to talk all day?
Kevin (dims the lights): We shall.
Bullet draws a pentagram on the floor with chalk. Gina, Dusty, Randall, Edna, Bullet, Kevin, and Stanley all stand on the sides of it. Clay and Bloberta sit on the chairs to watch.
Edna: Spirits of the dead! Can you hear us! We want to speak to the one named Orel Puppington!
Dusty: Don't forget the red cloaked dude too! (eats a candle) Mmm, spicy!
Randall, Kevin, Gina, Stanley, Edna, and Bullet: DUSTY! SHUT UP!
Edna: Yes and the cloaked one too.
After a long silence. Edna begins to have seizure like trance erupt in her body.
Edna: Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! It's terrible!
Clay: What is it?
Bloberta: Is Orel is danger?
Edna: No it's not Orel who's in danger in fact he's telling me it's....it's....
Clay: WHO! WHO IS IT!
Edna: It's......it's....
A burst of wind broke though the church's window.
Edna: Oh no! It's worst than I thought!
A light seeps from the door and a figure that resembled the red cloaked figure runs inside.
Dusty: It's the red cloaked dude!
Kevin: Maybe that's the danger she was talking about!
Gina: No wait! That don't look like that twat waffle....
Randall turns on the lights and it was actually two figures who were in the church. It was none other than Robbie and Delbert.
Bullet: Robbie and Delbert?!?!
Randall: We're trying to help these people communicate with their dead son and you guys have to come in and ruin it all!
Robbie: Hey! No need to get all fucked up in our asses. We're just looking for our rock.
Gina: Rock? Is that what broke the window? We thought it was wind.
Delbert: Here it is, Robbie. We threw the rock at the church window for fun. (hands Robbie the rock)
Robbie (takes the rock): Okay, we'll let you go back to your Satanic ceremony now! Bye!
Delbert: Where should we try next, Robbie?
Robbie: How about, You Store It Some!
Delbert and Robbie ran off.
Dusty: Great shit! We were so close to getting a lead.
Bullet: Then those two Hicks had to destroy any chance we got.
Randall (to Clay and Bloberta): If you guys aren't planning to leave town soon, just check back into your hotel and keep in touch with us.
Gina: Call us anytime.
Clay: Okay we will.
Bloberta: We'll stay until we speak to Orel!
Clay: And find out what this red cloaked person is. If it even is a person.
Edna (gets out of her trance): I know who's in danger.
Randall: Hopefully Kevin?
Kevin: Oh Dad!
Edna: NO! IT'S YOU! (points to Clay)
Clay: ME!!!
Gina: Go back to your hotel. We're sure it's a load of horse shit about you being in danger.
Clay and Bloberta are driven back to their hotel by the Paradise PD.
Scene 6:
Inside the UFO. Brett finds himself in a stasis tube.
Brett DeMarco: What the fuck is this shit! (banging on the stasis tube) I demand you send me back to Earth now!
Alien: Oh I'm afraid we will not do that!
Brett DeMarco: Why the hell not! You going to dissect me asshole?
Alien: Don't interrupt me! I'm busy! I'll reveal myself when I'm ready!
In another stasis tube was Hobo Cop.
Hobo Cop: Whatever you do don't make them angry!
Brett DeMarco (turns to see Hobo Cop): Hey, wait a minute! I know you! You're that homeless mother fucker who thinks he's a part of the Paradise PD.
Hobo Cop: Hobo Cop is what they call me. Just like Pogo Ball is what they call it.
Brett DeMarco: I don't give a shit who you are. What do these aliens want with us?
Hobo Cop: They want to kidnap us so we can be their pets!
Brett DeMarco: PETS?! Oh let me guess here. Humans are considered animals on their planet.
Hobo Cop: Yes! They like to kidnap anyone who's either inferior or superior.
Brett DeMarco: I'm Fitz's best right hand man, so that's why he got me.
Hobo Cop: Quiet! I think the alien is coming.
The Alien walks over to Brett and Hobo Cop. The Alien shows itself and a bunch of others. The aliens resembled bananas with three eyes.
Brett DeMarco: You guys look like used up condoms full of sperm and mucus!
Banana Alien Ruler: SHUT UP! We do not tolerate insults!
Hobo Cop: You know those aliens look like the Banana Aliens from Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi! Must be a reference.
Brett DeMarco: You watched cartoons that were aimed at girls? You're pathetic! I hope the aliens let me go and keep you!
Banana Alien Ruler: You are keeping both of you! For you see you two are rare pets that we were looking for!
Banana Alien #1: Precisely! We all train you both so you can win us Best In Show!
Hobo Cop: That's my favorite Christopher Guest movie!
Brett DeMarco: Oh shut the fuck up! (rolls eyes)
Banana Alien #2: We will teach you both to be obediant and..
Brett DeMarco: NO! I refuse to be under the control of you assfuckers! Nobody controls Brett DeMarco! I play by my own rules! You hear me! YOU HEAR ME! (banging on stasis tube)
Banana Alien Ruler: All right, if you are going to be defiant! Maybe this will make you beg for mercy!
Banana Alien #3: A nice chick flick! (clicks remote)
A TV comes down and the movie Hope Floats is shown.
Brett DeMarco: WHAT!!! How is this supposed to make me more obedient?
Hobo Cop: My Grandma was exactly like the one in this movie!
While laughing in an evil sense. The Banana Aliens keep their eyes on Brett and Hobo Cop hoping one of them will crack.
Scene 7:
Clay and Bloberta were back in their hotel room. They were taking a shower then had some sex before they clothed.
Bloberta: I kind of feel guilty about that sex we had.
Clay: No, don't we needed it.
Bloberta: Does it mean we are moving on at Orel's expense?
Clay: Absolutely not. We promised ourselves to stay here in Paradise until we get that red cloaked figure.
Bloberta: Yeah, he's the one responsible for pushing Orel into that lake.
A knock is heard at the door. Clay goes to get it. Randall Crawford was behind the door.
Clay: Oh, Police Chief Randall. What brings you here?
Randall: Since you guys have decided to stay a while, how about we give you complete Police protection?
Clay: Wouldn't hurt.
Bloberta: Are you going to follow us around?
Randall: You can help us with police work along the way. Say listen. You're a mayor, aren't you Mr. Clay Puppington.
Clay: Yes I am.
Randall: At City Hall, my on again off again wife Karen Crawford is a mayor and she's looking for a speech she's written.
Clay: Where do I come in?
Randall: I figured if you and Bloberta are around us, we can nail that son of a bitch red cloaked asshole!
Bloberta: OKay! We're in.
Randall: Come on, I'll take you to city hall. Where ever you guys are, the red cloaked asshole is sure to follow!
Bloberta: Could it be possible the figure can be in both places at once?
Randall: It's a possiblity.
Clay and Bloberta follow Randall into the police car and drive to City Hall. Once they are there. Kevin, Dusty, Bullet, Gina, and Stanley were on the lookout for the red cloaked figure.
Randall: Any sign of him or her maybe?
Kevin: Nope, nothing on my end.
Bullet: Hmm, if I was a red cloaked figure, where will I be?
Gina: Is that vacationing couple still here?
Randall (with Clay and Bloberta beside him): Yep! They're here with me.
Clay: I'm ready.
Bloberta: We're doing this for Orel.
Dusty then gets a call on his phone. While Randall leads Clay into the City Hall building.
Bloberta: I'll stay here with the rest of the policemen.
Kevin: Dusty! Your phone.
Dusty: Oh right! (answers phone): Hello? What? A dead body is found in the lake! OKay, we'll be right over! (calls to Randall) RANDALL!
Randall: What is it, Dusty?
Dusty: Just got a call that there's a dead body in the lake and someone wants us to check it out.
Randall: Go ahead. Only you and Gina can go. The rest of us still stay put.
Dusty: Right, come on, Gina!
Gina: Right behind you! Or maybe stalking!
Dusty and Gina depart and Bloberta decides she wants to go with them.
Bloberta: Clay? I've decided to help the fat guy and the lady instead.
Clay: OKay, you can go!
Bloberta goes with Dusty and Gina. Clay enters the City Hall building with Randall not too far behind.
Scene 8:
At Karen Crawford's office. Randall enters with Clay.
Karen: Randall! Did you find somebody who can help me find my missing speech.
Randall: Yes I did. This is Clay Puppington. He's the mayor of a small town in Statesota called Moralsville.
Karen: Never heard of it.
Randall: If anyone can help you find your speech, it's him.
Karen: Hello Clay. Pleased to meet you.
Clay: Where's the speech that you misplaced?
Karen: Actaully, I didn't really misplace it. It's way up on the top of the ceiling in my office here.
Clay: Sure, I can get it.
While Karen and Clay were talking, the red cloaked figure was watching. Clay then gets a ladder to climb to the ceiling. Up on the ceiling there was a shelf full of speeches.
Clay: HA! Got it! Easy does it....
Thinking he sees the speech, Clay tries to reach for it.
Clay: Steady now.....
Before Clay can do anything, the ladder he uses breaks at the bottom, leaving Clay hanging on the shelf.
Clay: AAAAAHHH!! OH NO!!!!
Randall runs in after hearing Clay scream.
Clay: HELP! HELP! I'm hanging! Do something to help me!
Randall: OKay, I'll try everything.
Frantically searching for an object that can help Clay get down, Randall gets Karen's umbrella.
Randall: Here!
Clay: How the fuck is that supposed to help?
Randall: I'm going to poke you with it so you can swing side to side until you find a place you can land on.
Holding the umbrella in Clay's direction. Clay was swinging from side to side. Randall was trying to poke him but Clay was swinging too fast.
Clay: Not helping! (swings side to side)
Randall: Look cut me some fucking slack! This is my first time doing this, okay! (sees the red cloaked figure) He's real.
Out of sight, the red cloaked figure then sends a wooden board flying in Clay's direction. The wooden board slammed into Clay's stomach and sent him falling. Randall was able to catch him. Clay had the speech in his hand.
Clay: Thank you.
Randall: You know while I saving you from falling, I thought I caught a glimpse of that red cloaked man.
Clay: You did! Is he still here?
Going to a window, Randall sees the red cloaked figure was gone.
Randall: GODAMMIT! No he isn't anymore.
Karen (walks into her office): You found my speech! Wonderful. Thank you.
Clay: Thank you. It takes one mayor to know another.
Karen: Hey, don't you have a wife?
Clay: I do but she went with the other cops.
Karen: Hmmm, she should've came with you.
Walking out of City Hall, Randall and Clay have a conversation.
Clay: You know, I think that psychic old lady was right.
Randall: Edna Dorseldigits? Don't mind her she's a whack job.
Clay: No hear me out. I really do believe she's right. I am in danger of this red cloaked figure.
Randall: We were going to show you the seance wasn't real until she showed up. You should trust us not her. The more you and your wife stay with us the sooner we will nail his ass.
Scene 9:
At the lake. Bloberta was there with Dusty and Gina. Dusty was working a crane. Behind them all from a tree, the red cloaked figure was watching.
Dusty: I think Tom Hanks used something like this in The Money Pit!
Bloberta: There's a reason I came with you.
Gina: What is it?
Bloberta: That Edna lady said Clay was in danger with the red cloaked figure.
Gina: So you came with us so you can abandon your husband. That way the twat waffle will attack him and not you. Upstanding wife you are. (rolls eyes)
Bloberta: That's not why I came.....Randall told us it's possible that the cloaked figure can be in two places at once.
Gina: Fine, I'm convinced.
In the crane Dusty pulls out a fat dead body.
Bloberta (gasps): AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Dusty (gets out of the crane): We fished out a whopper! A River Ran Though It! (laughs) I love movie title humor!
Gina (looks at the dead body): OOOOOHHH! I'm so hot and horny! Boy how I'd like to fuck him! Even if he is dead! Just made syrup in my pants!
Dusty: It's not just any other fat dude, it's (takes a better look at the corpse)....
Gina, Bloberta, and Dusty: JERRY NADLER!
Dusty: What the hell was he doing in Paradise?
The red cloaked figure snuck up from behind Bloberta and then disappeared. Dusty and Gina got a good look at it.
Dusty: Forget Jerry Nadler! I took a gander at that red dude who's after you.
Bloberta: You did?
Gina: I was wrong if I thought you abandoned your husband. Randall is right. Guess this means he's after both of you.
Bloberta: (shrieks) Oh my God.
When Dusty, Gina, and Bloberta were going to reunite with Randall and Clay. They see a funeral pass by. It was an open casket and inside was supposedly Clay. The red cloaked figure was standing on the coffin giving the middle finger.
Bloberta: Oh no! Thats Clay! Hes dead! Both he and Orel are dead! Ive lost my son! My husband! I've lost everything! (sobbing)
Gina: How are we going to help these people now?
Dusty: Maybe we can't.
In another part of town. Fitz, Zeta, and Frank were in their limo chasing the UFO that captured Brett. So far they had no luck with keeping up with the UFO!
Fitz: If I see those aliens I'll sodomize them until my penis hits their brains and they puke their brains out!
Frank Flipperfist: Driving around in this limo is getting us fucking nowhere fast!
Zeta: Mr Frank is right. It's flying farther and farther away from us.
Fitz: I can't keep up like this any longer! We could run out of gas at any minute.
Frank Flipperfist: We don't want that!
Fitz: This is the fourth time! Fourth time! Brett has been kidnapped!
Frank Flipperfist: I know right! He's a very capable competent henchman and yet he gets captured every now and then.
Fitz: Tell me something I don't know.
Zeta: When was the first time Uncle Brett got kidnapped?
Fitz: First he was a POW in Afganistan by those Al Qaeda assholes. Then he got kidnapped by Robbie and Delbert when they had that 'Snake Hick Club' after that it was Kevin and the Paradise PD!
Frank Flipperfist (to Zeta): Didn't you find Brett that time?
Zeta: I did. That's what lead to me being adopted by Daddy Fitz!
Fitz: I am a better parent to her than those cock sucker Mattos ever were! I'm glad those mother fuckers are dead.
Frank Flipperfist then bumps his foot on a suitcase. Frank yelps with pain.
Zeta: You okay, Mr. Frank?
Frank Flipperfist: Bumped my foot on something.
Picking up the suitcase, Frank and Zeta open it. Inside it was a flying suit that Lovely Corp invented.
Zeta: Daddy Fitz! Did you invent a flying suit?
Fitz: Yes I did. (snaps fingers) I got it!
Frank Flipperfist: What do you got?
Fitz: I'll use the flying suit to fly up to the UFO and save Brett!
Zeta: Kick some ass Daddy Fitz!
Frank Flipperfist: Lovely Corp sure is ahead of it's time.
Fitz: We ought to invent flying cars next! (laughs)
Stopping the limo. Fitz puts on the flying suit and flies to the UFO. The flying suit resembled an astronaut spacesuit. Instead of a helmet it had goggles included.
Fitz: GERALD FITZGERALD AAAWWWAAAAYYYYYYYYY!
Frank Flipperfist: Oh! SHIT! I forgot to tell him that the flying suit has powers.
Zeta: Wish we were going with him.
Scene 10:
The next day, Clay and Bloberta go back to Paradise Pentacoastal Church to meet with Edna Dorsaldigits.
Bloberta: I saw you in a funeral! Edna is right! The cloaked figure is after you! Me too, and I want to confirm it.
Clay: Here she is let's talk to her.
Bloberta: You know I am kind of thinking that Orel is talking though Edna. Like those seizures she gets.
Clay: Bloberta! I do not mean to sound like a mean father to you! But, for the last time, OREL IS DEAD!
Edna: Oh good day to you two. What brings you back here?
Clay: The red cloaked figure is after us.
Bloberta: I even saw a vision of my husband's funeral! And a dead fat politician that was drowned in the river in the same way like our son! We have the Paradise PD protecting us from it and it even keeps disappearing when they have a chance to nab it.
Clay: My funeral! But I'm still alive!
Edna: You did the right thing. In fact I know where it is headed.
Bloberta: By the way, is Orel talking though you?
Edna: He is. I will summon him again. Spirits above....
Clay and Bloberta watch as Edna uses her psychic abilities to track down the red cloaked figure. Back at Paradise PD Headquarters, Randall wonders where Clay and Bloberta are.
Randall: Kevin! Have you seen that Puppington assholes around?
Kevin: You mean the ones who are on vacation and lost their son to drowning?
Randall: Of course that's who I meant!
Bullet: Who did you think we meant The Duggars?
Kevin: Last time I saw them they were going to the church.
Gina: Then church we shall go!
Dusty: Let's make a song out of it like in Duck Soup! (singing) To Church! To Church! To Church We Have To Go!
Randall: God dammit Dusty! Why do you always have to make a song and dance game out of everything!
Dusty: I don't do it all the time! It's the only way I cope with every one these cases we have to crack!
Stanley: I had an exorcism done on me before I had to audition for Doctor X!
Bullet: Why are you in such a hurry to go to church?
Randall: Owning up to the fact that we all know now that this cloaked figure is really real. Who knows if it will show up or not.
Kevin: You're right, Dad. They've been getting followed around by whatever that thing is.
Gina: I'll fire up the squad car!
Back at the Paradise Pentacoastal Church. Edna was again having the seizure like trance again.
Clay: Tell us, Edna! Tell us.
Bloberta: Where is it heading!
Edna: It's headed....it's headed...on top of buildings!
Randall, Kevin, Dusty, Bullet, Stanley, and Gina all walk inside.
Clay: She told us.
Randall: Okay, what did she tell you?
Bloberta: The figure that drowned our son in jumping on buildings here.
Clay and Bloberta run out of the church and the Paradise PD run after them. Then decide to stop when Clay and Bloberta climb up a building on a ladder then begin their search. Randall is keeping a close look on his telescope.
Kevin: Should we go up there and help them?
Randall: We'll wait for the red figure to make a stop. (sees the red cloaked figure from far away) It's reappearing! Now disappering! This criminal is swift and brilliant
Dusty: When this is over I'm going to watch Little Muppets Monsters on Youtube.
Bullet: Wasn't that the shitty Muppet Babies spin off that failed?
Gina: A-ha! They're on top of the library now! Woah, now they're on top of the grocery store.
Clay and Bloberta run on top of buildings with constant signs of the red cloaked figure. The chases lasts for a while. Visions of Orel drowning were shown. During that chase the red cloaked figure kept reappearing the disappearing as Randall observed. That was until they see the red cloaked figure has finally yielded on the ground near a pier. Clay and Bloberta climb down from the Paradise VHS Building they were on. Randall gives the order to drive down to the Paradise Pier. Clay and Bloberta were now at the pier, finally they see the red cloaked figure was a reality after all. It had it's back turned. The Paradise PD arrived there with their squad car.
Bloberta: Edna's visions were correct! It was on the building.
Clay: And now it's here.
Randall: FREEZE! PARADISE PD!
Clay and Bloberta shook frozen in fear.
Randall: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I didn't mean you guys! I meant that cloaked asshole!
Bloberta: Thank you for helping us. What are you going to to now?
Clay: Guys stay where you all are. I'll take care of this!
Dusty: No don't do it!
Kevin: We understand you want justice for your son and....
Clay (walks up to the red cloaked figure): Hello? It's okay. I'm a friend and.....
The red cloaked figure turns around and it was a demon all along. The demon was wrestling and attacking Clay. Church bells were ringing loudly. Then visions were shown again of red drink that was spilled near the luggage on the hotel table, Orel drowning, the family photo, Edna having seizures, the church window breaking, Robbie and Delbert, Clay and Bloberta's sexual liasion, Clay hanging from the ceiling of Karen's office. Also visions Bloberta witnessing Clay's funeral and Dusty fishing out a dead Jerry Nadler. After the visions fade away, the demon has killed Clay.
Bloberta: (sobs and cries): I lost my son and now my husband! WHY! WHY! WHY!
The demon was still standing and now was looking to attack Bloberta.
Randall: None of us here can probably take on a demon, so Gina get in there!
Gina: Leave this all to Mama!
With Bullet joining in, Gina rips the demon's head off and rips apart it's body like an old cloth with her usual brutal force. Bloberta stood stoic as a stone. Bullet takes the demon's head and eats it's brain. The demon was defeated. Never again to torment anyone.
Bullet: Mmm Mmm! Demon brain is DEE-LICIOUS!
Gina: That's the end of that one!
Bloberta: That funeral I saw, it was right. It really was Clay! (sobs)
Dusty: We're sorry for your loss, Mrs Puppington.
Soon afterward a double funeral was held for Clay Puppington and Orel Puppington. Randall, Kevin, Bullet, Dusty, Gina, and Stanley were there to show support to Bloberta. When it was over, Dusty went home to watch Little Muppets Monsters, then the rest of the Paradise PD drive Bloberta Puppington back to the Paradise Airport. Where she will go back to Moralton Statesota one way and one way only.....alone.
Scene 11 Conclusion:
Inside the UFO, Brett and Hobo Cop were still in the stasis tubes being forced to watch Hope Floats. The movie was over, and Brett was telling jokes about it.
Brett DeMarco: Your Daddy doesn't want you! Get over it, little whiny bitch!
Hobo Cop: Hey? I'm trying to watch this and all you're doing it making fun it!
Brett DeMarco: It's called 'riffing'.
The Banana Aliens come and take Brett out of his stasis tube in a rageful manner.
Banana Alien Ruler (to Brett): All right you, we had just about enough of your attitude!
Banana Alien #1: Now we will kill you!
The Banana Aliens throw Brett in a vat tie his hands on the handles and pour gasoline on him. Fitz in the flying suit was on his way to rescue Brett.
Song: Smashing Pumpkins XYU plays.
Banana Alien Ruler: This is what you get for being so defiant!
Banana Alien #2: You don't get to be in our pet show now!
Brett DeMarco: Yeah? You can take your alien pet show and stick it up your ass!
Banana Alien Ruler: Being defiant again, are we?
Banana Alien #3: What should we do boss?
Banana Alien Ruler: Fill 'Er Up!
The Banana Aliens were dousing Brett was gas. Then a crash is heard from inside the UFO. It was Gerald Fitzgerald in the Lovely Corp Flying Suit!
Brett DeMarco: FITZ! Thank God!
Fitz: You're the aliens? Why are you all in the form of Bananas? And three eyes no less?
Banana Alien Ruler: This is what our speices looks like, okay?
Banana Alien #2: Got a problem with appearance! Or the color of our skin? Your skin sucks by the way.
Fitz: No! I have a problem with you guys kidnapping my best worker! Let him go now!
Banana Alien #3: No! We must kill him! He's been insubordinate and now he must die!
Fitz: OKay then, we can do this the easy way or the hard way!
Banana Alien #2: You dare challenge us to a fight, Mr. Pajama Police!
Fitz: I have something better in mind!
Banana Alien #1: Really what?
Fitz uses the powers of the Lovely Corp flying suit to zap by the the Banana Aliens. The force caused them to spin. Hobo Cop was watching in confusion. Fitz then messes up the controls of the UFO.
Banana Alien Ruler: You black son of a bitch! What did you do?!?!
Fitz: You want me to answer? I will, but first. (points to Brett) Untie him!
Banana Alien #2: No never!
Fitz: Untie HIM!
Banana Alien #3: How about you tell us...
Fitz: UNTIE HIM!!!!!
The Banana Aliens freed Brett from the vat full of gasoline.
Banana Alien Ruler: We gave you what you wanted. Now you owe us an explaintion! What the fuck did you do to our UFO!
Fitz: Damaged the controls! Now you will crash, burn, and eventually die Have a nice death!
Brett DeMarco: Hope your lungs burn up!
Fitz flies away with Brett. Hobo Cop calls out.
Hobo Cop: WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!!
The Banana Aliens throw out Hobo Cop then their UFO explodes into nothingness. The Banana Aliens were long gone. Vaporized into the winds of the air. Hobo Cop runs away.
Fitz: I just turned those Banana Aliens into Bananas Flambe! (laughs evilly)
Hobo Cop: I'm going to miss those guys! They were going to give me a home. Shit! Back to the dark alley I go.
Fitz lands with Brett.
Frank Flipperfist: Wow! Fitz! We saw everything! You were awesome!
Fitz: This flying suit worked like a hot knife though butter!
Zeta (hugs Brett): Oh Uncle Brett. I'm so glad you're safe.
Brett DeMarco: I am too Zeta.
Going back inside the limo. Fitz, Brett, Zeta, and Frank all drive back to Lovely Corp.
Fitz: Tell Russian Mobster, Marcos, and Pedro to make more of these flying suits!
Brett DeMarco: I sure will.
Fitz: People will want to buy them and I have a hunch they will sell like hotcakes! Then we will make even more money because there will be a hypno power in the suits and people will keep coming back for more Lovely Corp products!
Frank Flipperfist: That's a genius idea!
Zeta: Where to now, Daddy Fitz?
Fitz: How about the skating rink?
Brett DeMarco: OKay sure! There's a hot chick who works at the counter I want to ask out.
Frank Flipperfist: Not if I ask her out first!
Fitz: Those Banana Aliens sure loved Sergio Leone movies.
Frank Flipperfist: They lied to us! Those bastards! They did use inspiration from Earth entertainment!
Brett DeMarco: Seems like they did. They tried to pull a "Once Upon A Time In America" on me!
Everyone all had a good laugh. The limo was now driving off into the sunset on their way to the skating rink.
Fitz: Wonder what happened to Hobo Cop?
The episode ends with Hobo Cop making crop circles around a farm field.
Hobo Cop: Now I wait.......
THE END
Allow me introduce to you possible the very first Paradise PD Crossover Fanfic With Moral Orel! Let's get on with the show!
Paradise PD and Morel Orel
Fanfic Title:
Don't Look For Orel Now
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
At a nearby hotel. Clay and Bloberta Puppington were just about getting done with their vacation in Paradise.
Clay: Wow! What a great time we had here.
Bloberta: I'm going to miss this place.
Clay: Although it didn't have any tourist attractions, we still had fun.
Bloberta: Orel sure seemed to enjoy that pond very much.
Clay: We'll come back next year. I loved that bar!
Bloberta: Hmm, wonder why? Where is Orel? Have you seen him? We're going to miss our flight back.
Clay: I'll go check.
Outside the hotel. Orel was playing around the pond. Orel had a red ball he he carrying around.
Bloberta (sees Orel at the lake): Orel! Come on! Get your ass back here now!
Orel: I'm coming!
Running to make his way back to the hotel. Orel tripped on a rock and his red ball went flying into the pond.
Orel: Oh no! My ball! I have to get my ball!
Clay: Never mind your ball! (closes the door) Let's get packing.
Once Bloberta and Clay were packing their clothes and shut their suitcases, a red drink spilled on the table.
Clay: Shit!
Bloberta: Who cares? Let the hotel maids clean it.
There was screaming outside it came from Orel.
Orel: Dad! Help! I'm drowning! Save me!
Bloberta: Oh no! That's Orel. He's in trouble.
Clay: I'll go save him.
Running out of the hotel room. Clay was already too late. Bloberta stepped in the red spilled drink that was seeping towards her. Clay ran to the pond where Orel was playing with his ball.
Clay: OREL! OREL! OREL!
Jumping into the lake trying to find his son. Clay finds Orel but it was already too late. Orel was dead of drowning. Clay picked up his dead son from the lake and screamed.
Clay (in slow motion): NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Bloberta (runs out of the hotel room): What happened?!?!?! What's going on!
Clay: It's Orel! He's dead. He must've lost his ball in the pond and drowned.
Bloberta: (shakes Orel's body): Could be he's trying to fuck with us you know! Wake up!
Clay: Its no use. He's dead. Feel how cold he is!
Bloberta: I feel no heartbeat or pulse!
Clay: OREL! OREL! (tries CPR but no response)
Bloberta: What will we do now?
Clay: We'll have to stay in Paradise a little while longer.
Hobo Cop is behind them.
Bloberta: I know! We'll call an ambulance! This is the worst thing that has ever happened to us. (cries)
Hobo Cop: Forget the ambulance! Why not call the Paradise PD instead?
Clay: Who are you?
Hobo Cop: They call me Hobo Cop. Call the Paradise PD. They're your only hope now.
Bloberta: Better do what this bum says.
Clay: OKay, I'll call the Paradise PD.
Running to the lobby of the hotel. Clay runs in and uses the phone to call the Paradise PD.
Scene 2:
Around the pond at the hotel where Orel drowned. The Paradise PD were investigating the scene. Clay and Bloberta were watching everything in grief and shock. Orel was being taken away by an ambulance.
Clay: Oh my poor son.
In Clay's hand there was a family picture that had red drink over it. The picture had Clay, Bloberta, and Orel all sitting in the Mayor's office.
Bloberta: Drowning in a pond, a terrible way to go.
Clay: All he wanted was to get his ball back.
Randall: Okay, Paradise PD. Look around for anything suspicious!
Kevin: Right Dad!
Gina: Hmmm, no sign of foul play.
Dusty: Nobody around here wanted the kid dead.
Bullet (grabs the ball from the pond): Hmmm, nice ball! Think I'll fuck it later like I did with that bowling ball!
Randall: That's tampering with evidence! (takes away ball)
Stanley: Maybe your son is still alive! Probably living with Cornel Wilde In Leave Her To Heaven.
Clay: So what did you all find out?
Kevin: Well, there's no signs that anybody pushed your son in.
Dusty: Any reason why he went into the pond?
Bloberta: You see we were taking a vacation here in Paradise...
Bullet: Why in the world would anyone want to vacation in THIS place?
Clay: Why does that matter? Well, we were just about ready to leave and Orel was outside playing around the pond.
Gina: OKay, what else?
Clay: We told him to hurry up and he didn't want to leave without his ball.
Randall: Go on....
Bloberta: You Guys are treating us like suspects!
Randall: We're the Paradise PD! It's what we do!
Gina: Yeah we do that for standard procedure! Continue with the story please.
Bloberta: Then some red stuff fell all over our luggage and before we knew it we heard Orel screaming for help.
Kevin: Don't worry guys. I won't treat you like a suspect. What else happened after?
Clay: Then we heard screaming from the pond and....sure enough, it was Orel who was trying to get his ball....(sobs)
Bloberta: Clay got Orel out of the pond and he isn't breathing! (sobs)
Clay: Where did you take Orel?
Bullet: To the local hospital. It's just 2 miles down from here.
Gina (takes the picture with the red drink on it): You a mayor or something? What's with the red stuff? It's blood isn't it?
Clay: No No! It was Faygo Redpop! (takes the picture) Give that back please.
Bloberta and Clay were looking at the picture. It shows Clay, Orel, and Bloberta together. In the background there was a figure with a red cloak which was the same color as Orel's ball.
Clay: Oh look, who's the guy in the red cloak.
Bloberta: You're right. Never noticed that before.
Dusty: Excuse me, you've never seen what before.
Gina: I found a family photo of them.
Dusty and Gina look at the strange figure in the red cloak.
Bloberta: Do you see it too.
Dusty: Maybe this red cloaked dude. Perhaps he's the culprit.
Gina: Excellent thinking there Dusty.
Clay: Can one of you guys call us a cab?
Bullet: What for?
Bloberta: We want to go to the hospital to see if Orel is okay.
Kevin: Sure, I can call you one.
Randall: Everything is done here and....
Gina: Not quite.
Randall: What do you mean?
Dusty: These guys have a family photo with a weird cloaked dude.
Kevin called for a cab that is going to take Clay and Bloberta to the Doctor's Office. While Randall, Bullet, Gina, Dustym and Stanley all observed the Puppington Family Photo.
Dusty: Could the two be connected?
Randall: We're police so it's our job to investigate!
The cab came and took Clay and Bloberta to the hospital.
Scene 3:
Inside the waiting room at the Paradise Hospital. Clay and Bloberta were waiting for Dr Funtlichter to come out and tell them news about Orel.
Bloberta: Please let our baby be okay. I don't want to be like Shirley MacLaine in Terms Of Endearment! (cries)
Clay: What is taking that doctor so long?
Bloberta: Can't believe the last thing we said to poor Orel was "get your ass back here"...
Clay: We also told him to "never mind his ball..."
Finally Dr. Funtlichter came out to give the Puppingtons some news.
Bloberta: If only I can talk to Orel just once more?
Clay: So, Doctor. What's the bottom line?
Dr. Funtlichter: I'm afraid your son Orel didn't make it.....
Clay and Bloberta both cry and hug each other.
Dr. Funtlichter: You might want to say some final words to him.
Clay: Is he at all still alive.
Dr. Funtlichter: No he isn't. If it makes you feel any better. Due to popular belief you can talk to the dead. And they do hear you...
Clay and Bloberta go to see Orel who was laying on a hospital bed. Orel was obviously deceased. Clay and Bloberta stand over him. Then Bullet walks in with Randall, Kevin, Stanley, Gina, and Dusty.
Bloberta: Oh look. It's those policemen who helped us.
Clay: Helped us my ass. More like questioned us.
Randall: We observed that family photo of yours.
Kevin: Yes, that's what we came to tell you.
Clay: What about it? That person in the red cloak right?
Gina: Yes. He's the prime suspect in this.
Dusty: There is a way we can track this fucker down.
Bloberta: Really how?
Bullet: Come with us to the Pentacoastal Church. We can hold a seance!
Randall: We'll track this piece of shit down the psychic way! Although I'm not really into that bullcrap.
Clay: Really? Can we also talk to Orel too?
Dusty: Oh yes! We can do both. Track down the cloaked dude and talk to your son!
Clay: There's so many things we wish we could've said to him.
Randall (whispers to Kevin in a sing song voice): They sound guil-tee!
Clay: What was that?
Randall: Nothing nothing.....
Bloberta: Yes, I'll agree to that. But what exactly happens at a seance?
Bullet: Seriously? You don't know what the fuck happens at a seance? Ever seen A Haunting In Venice or Drag Me To Hell?
Gina: Come with us now.
Clay and Bloberta follow Randall, Dusty, Bullet, Gina, and Kevin to the Paradise Pentacostal Church.
Scene 4:
In the Lovely Corp building. Fitz, Brett DeMarco and Frank were reviewing their profits. By showing Fitz a pie chart. Fitz was sitting at a desk.
Fitz: How have our profits been holding up this month? Or even year!
Frank Flipperfist: Our sales have gone up in the past year or so!
Fitz: Meaning?
Brett DeMarco: We're going to be bigger than any company in China could ever be!
Fitz: What's the bottom line?
Frank Flipperfist: We're rich! Getting richer by the moment. What more is there to say!
Fitz: YES! YES! YES! This is the greatest day of my life. (Jumps out of his chair at his desk)
Brett DeMarco: This is all because the Paradise PD isn't even bothering to try to stop us!
Fitz: Who would've thought I'd find more success at being the head of Lovely Corp than I ever did being a Kingpin!
A flash of lights lit up the room.
Fitz: What is fuck is that!
Brett DeMarco: It's coming from outside.
Zeta (runs into room) Daddy Fitz! What are those lights?
Fitz: We're about to find out!
Brett, Frank, Fitz, and Zeta all run out to see a UFO flying over Lovely Corp.
Fitz: Holy fuck! It's a UFO!
Zeta: They really are real!
Frank Flipperfist: What does it want from us?
A voice boomed from inside the UFO.
UFO: We're glad you asked! We are a friendly alien species.
Fitz: I'm not falling for that bullshit for a second!
UFO: Oh, but we are. We came to Earth to destroy evil corporations such as this one right here!
Brett DeMarco: Oh fuck no! Let's fight!
Fitz: You're on!
Zeta: What should we use? I know! Rocks will be good.
Frank, Zeta, Fitz, and Brett all gathered around and threw rocks and even shot guns at the UFO.
UFO: We had a prediction you were going to attack us. Your weapons are worthless against us. Anyrape, yikes! I mean anyWAY, instead of destroying your evil company, we'll abduct one of you!
Frank Flipperfist: Oh no. Is this going to be like the X-Files?
UFO: Oh no. We don't get inspired by foolish Earth programs.
Frank Flipperfist: I know one you should never watch Late Night With Stephen Colbert!
UFO: Don't tempt us!
Brett DeMarco: Sure seems like you get your ideas from TV!
Frank Flipperfist: In that show X-Files, David Duchovny's sister got abducted by UFOs.
UFO: We were not aware. You guys made us lose our train of thought! Where were we, oh yes! One of you will be kidnapped!
Fitz: What are you going to do? Kidnap one of us and zap the rest of us with a death ray like War Of The Worlds?
UFO: Oh no. We don't stoop to that level of jackass stupidity.
Zeta: Ooooh, Daddy Fitz! Who're they going to kidnap?
Fitz: Everything will be fine, Zeta. I won't let them get you.
UFO: We're not going to kidnap the child. Like we said, We never stoop that low. However we're going to kidnap the best employee!
Brett DeMarco: Oh you must mean me, right?
UFO: Correct!
Brett DeMarco: Why? Because I was the one who called out the attack?
UFO: Yes! And now you will be the perfect specimen for our project!
A light beam shone on Brett as he was being beamed up into the UFO. Brett DeMarco was gone.
Frank Flipperfist: Those son of a bitch shitheads! Where is he?
Fitz: They took him! Like in Fire In The Sky!
Zeta: Things won't be the same without Uncle Brett. I miss him already. (cries)
The UFO flies away into the sky. However it was still within sight.
Fitz: We'll get him back somehow! Because we're Lovely Corp! Nothing ever keeps us down! Not even UFOs!
Frank Flipperfist: Right! How about we take the limo and follow the UFO!
Following Frank's advice. Fitz, Zeta, and Frank all jump into the limo though the windows and drive off.
Fitz: Why did we all go in like that without using the doors?
Frank Flipperfist: That's what the Dukes of Hazzard used to do.
Fitz: No wonder aliens never get inspiration from quote unquote "Foolish Earth Programs".
Zeta: Ooooh! Uncle Brett! Please don't let the UFO kill him....
Scene 5:
Randall has arrived at the Pentecostal Church along with Kevin, Dusty, Gina, Bullet, and Stanley. Clay and Bloberta were in tow
Stanley: Haven't been to a cathedral like this since the movie The Sign Of The Cross.
Clay: Is this where we're going to have our seance?
Randall: Of course it is.
Kevin: Where are you guys from?
Bloberta: We live in Statesota.
Dusty: Don't you mean, Minnesota?
Clay: No it's a state between Kansas and Missouri.
Gina: We never heard of it.
Bloberta: The town is called Moralton.
Dusty: Hmmm, interesting. You guys might want to light some candles for this.
Bullet (looks on smartphone): It does exist! Both the city and the state!
Randall: Bullet, light candle and give it to Clay and Bloberta!
Bullet: No problem! I'll be more than happy to Light My Fire! (laughs)
Randall: This is no time for jokes and Jim Morrison references!
Clay and Bloberta were handed a lighted candle by Bullet. Clay began to light the candles. Then Edna Dorseldigits enters the church's main room.
Edna: Are you guys doing a seance?
Kevin: Yes we are. Why do you ask?
Edna: Can I be a part of it too?
Gina: Why would you want to?
Edna: I have psychic abilities. (sees Clay and Bloberta) I know all about you two. And your who son died of drowning. Plus, you guys are looking for a red cloaked figure in a family picture, correct?
Bloberta: Yes! How did you know?
Edna: Quite simple really.
Clay: Do you speak to the dead too?
Edna: Yes I can.
Bloberta: How is he doing? Our son Orel?
Edna: I've spoken to him and he says he's happy.
Bullet: Are we going to do this thing or are we going to talk all day?
Kevin (dims the lights): We shall.
Bullet draws a pentagram on the floor with chalk. Gina, Dusty, Randall, Edna, Bullet, Kevin, and Stanley all stand on the sides of it. Clay and Bloberta sit on the chairs to watch.
Edna: Spirits of the dead! Can you hear us! We want to speak to the one named Orel Puppington!
Dusty: Don't forget the red cloaked dude too! (eats a candle) Mmm, spicy!
Randall, Kevin, Gina, Stanley, Edna, and Bullet: DUSTY! SHUT UP!
Edna: Yes and the cloaked one too.
After a long silence. Edna begins to have seizure like trance erupt in her body.
Edna: Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! It's terrible!
Clay: What is it?
Bloberta: Is Orel is danger?
Edna: No it's not Orel who's in danger in fact he's telling me it's....it's....
Clay: WHO! WHO IS IT!
Edna: It's......it's....
A burst of wind broke though the church's window.
Edna: Oh no! It's worst than I thought!
A light seeps from the door and a figure that resembled the red cloaked figure runs inside.
Dusty: It's the red cloaked dude!
Kevin: Maybe that's the danger she was talking about!
Gina: No wait! That don't look like that twat waffle....
Randall turns on the lights and it was actually two figures who were in the church. It was none other than Robbie and Delbert.
Bullet: Robbie and Delbert?!?!
Randall: We're trying to help these people communicate with their dead son and you guys have to come in and ruin it all!
Robbie: Hey! No need to get all fucked up in our asses. We're just looking for our rock.
Gina: Rock? Is that what broke the window? We thought it was wind.
Delbert: Here it is, Robbie. We threw the rock at the church window for fun. (hands Robbie the rock)
Robbie (takes the rock): Okay, we'll let you go back to your Satanic ceremony now! Bye!
Delbert: Where should we try next, Robbie?
Robbie: How about, You Store It Some!
Delbert and Robbie ran off.
Dusty: Great shit! We were so close to getting a lead.
Bullet: Then those two Hicks had to destroy any chance we got.
Randall (to Clay and Bloberta): If you guys aren't planning to leave town soon, just check back into your hotel and keep in touch with us.
Gina: Call us anytime.
Clay: Okay we will.
Bloberta: We'll stay until we speak to Orel!
Clay: And find out what this red cloaked person is. If it even is a person.
Edna (gets out of her trance): I know who's in danger.
Randall: Hopefully Kevin?
Kevin: Oh Dad!
Edna: NO! IT'S YOU! (points to Clay)
Clay: ME!!!
Gina: Go back to your hotel. We're sure it's a load of horse shit about you being in danger.
Clay and Bloberta are driven back to their hotel by the Paradise PD.
Scene 6:
Inside the UFO. Brett finds himself in a stasis tube.
Brett DeMarco: What the fuck is this shit! (banging on the stasis tube) I demand you send me back to Earth now!
Alien: Oh I'm afraid we will not do that!
Brett DeMarco: Why the hell not! You going to dissect me asshole?
Alien: Don't interrupt me! I'm busy! I'll reveal myself when I'm ready!
In another stasis tube was Hobo Cop.
Hobo Cop: Whatever you do don't make them angry!
Brett DeMarco (turns to see Hobo Cop): Hey, wait a minute! I know you! You're that homeless mother fucker who thinks he's a part of the Paradise PD.
Hobo Cop: Hobo Cop is what they call me. Just like Pogo Ball is what they call it.
Brett DeMarco: I don't give a shit who you are. What do these aliens want with us?
Hobo Cop: They want to kidnap us so we can be their pets!
Brett DeMarco: PETS?! Oh let me guess here. Humans are considered animals on their planet.
Hobo Cop: Yes! They like to kidnap anyone who's either inferior or superior.
Brett DeMarco: I'm Fitz's best right hand man, so that's why he got me.
Hobo Cop: Quiet! I think the alien is coming.
The Alien walks over to Brett and Hobo Cop. The Alien shows itself and a bunch of others. The aliens resembled bananas with three eyes.
Brett DeMarco: You guys look like used up condoms full of sperm and mucus!
Banana Alien Ruler: SHUT UP! We do not tolerate insults!
Hobo Cop: You know those aliens look like the Banana Aliens from Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi! Must be a reference.
Brett DeMarco: You watched cartoons that were aimed at girls? You're pathetic! I hope the aliens let me go and keep you!
Banana Alien Ruler: You are keeping both of you! For you see you two are rare pets that we were looking for!
Banana Alien #1: Precisely! We all train you both so you can win us Best In Show!
Hobo Cop: That's my favorite Christopher Guest movie!
Brett DeMarco: Oh shut the fuck up! (rolls eyes)
Banana Alien #2: We will teach you both to be obediant and..
Brett DeMarco: NO! I refuse to be under the control of you assfuckers! Nobody controls Brett DeMarco! I play by my own rules! You hear me! YOU HEAR ME! (banging on stasis tube)
Banana Alien Ruler: All right, if you are going to be defiant! Maybe this will make you beg for mercy!
Banana Alien #3: A nice chick flick! (clicks remote)
A TV comes down and the movie Hope Floats is shown.
Brett DeMarco: WHAT!!! How is this supposed to make me more obedient?
Hobo Cop: My Grandma was exactly like the one in this movie!
While laughing in an evil sense. The Banana Aliens keep their eyes on Brett and Hobo Cop hoping one of them will crack.
Scene 7:
Clay and Bloberta were back in their hotel room. They were taking a shower then had some sex before they clothed.
Bloberta: I kind of feel guilty about that sex we had.
Clay: No, don't we needed it.
Bloberta: Does it mean we are moving on at Orel's expense?
Clay: Absolutely not. We promised ourselves to stay here in Paradise until we get that red cloaked figure.
Bloberta: Yeah, he's the one responsible for pushing Orel into that lake.
A knock is heard at the door. Clay goes to get it. Randall Crawford was behind the door.
Clay: Oh, Police Chief Randall. What brings you here?
Randall: Since you guys have decided to stay a while, how about we give you complete Police protection?
Clay: Wouldn't hurt.
Bloberta: Are you going to follow us around?
Randall: You can help us with police work along the way. Say listen. You're a mayor, aren't you Mr. Clay Puppington.
Clay: Yes I am.
Randall: At City Hall, my on again off again wife Karen Crawford is a mayor and she's looking for a speech she's written.
Clay: Where do I come in?
Randall: I figured if you and Bloberta are around us, we can nail that son of a bitch red cloaked asshole!
Bloberta: OKay! We're in.
Randall: Come on, I'll take you to city hall. Where ever you guys are, the red cloaked asshole is sure to follow!
Bloberta: Could it be possible the figure can be in both places at once?
Randall: It's a possiblity.
Clay and Bloberta follow Randall into the police car and drive to City Hall. Once they are there. Kevin, Dusty, Bullet, Gina, and Stanley were on the lookout for the red cloaked figure.
Randall: Any sign of him or her maybe?
Kevin: Nope, nothing on my end.
Bullet: Hmm, if I was a red cloaked figure, where will I be?
Gina: Is that vacationing couple still here?
Randall (with Clay and Bloberta beside him): Yep! They're here with me.
Clay: I'm ready.
Bloberta: We're doing this for Orel.
Dusty then gets a call on his phone. While Randall leads Clay into the City Hall building.
Bloberta: I'll stay here with the rest of the policemen.
Kevin: Dusty! Your phone.
Dusty: Oh right! (answers phone): Hello? What? A dead body is found in the lake! OKay, we'll be right over! (calls to Randall) RANDALL!
Randall: What is it, Dusty?
Dusty: Just got a call that there's a dead body in the lake and someone wants us to check it out.
Randall: Go ahead. Only you and Gina can go. The rest of us still stay put.
Dusty: Right, come on, Gina!
Gina: Right behind you! Or maybe stalking!
Dusty and Gina depart and Bloberta decides she wants to go with them.
Bloberta: Clay? I've decided to help the fat guy and the lady instead.
Clay: OKay, you can go!
Bloberta goes with Dusty and Gina. Clay enters the City Hall building with Randall not too far behind.
Scene 8:
At Karen Crawford's office. Randall enters with Clay.
Karen: Randall! Did you find somebody who can help me find my missing speech.
Randall: Yes I did. This is Clay Puppington. He's the mayor of a small town in Statesota called Moralsville.
Karen: Never heard of it.
Randall: If anyone can help you find your speech, it's him.
Karen: Hello Clay. Pleased to meet you.
Clay: Where's the speech that you misplaced?
Karen: Actaully, I didn't really misplace it. It's way up on the top of the ceiling in my office here.
Clay: Sure, I can get it.
While Karen and Clay were talking, the red cloaked figure was watching. Clay then gets a ladder to climb to the ceiling. Up on the ceiling there was a shelf full of speeches.
Clay: HA! Got it! Easy does it....
Thinking he sees the speech, Clay tries to reach for it.
Clay: Steady now.....
Before Clay can do anything, the ladder he uses breaks at the bottom, leaving Clay hanging on the shelf.
Clay: AAAAAHHH!! OH NO!!!!
Randall runs in after hearing Clay scream.
Clay: HELP! HELP! I'm hanging! Do something to help me!
Randall: OKay, I'll try everything.
Frantically searching for an object that can help Clay get down, Randall gets Karen's umbrella.
Randall: Here!
Clay: How the fuck is that supposed to help?
Randall: I'm going to poke you with it so you can swing side to side until you find a place you can land on.
Holding the umbrella in Clay's direction. Clay was swinging from side to side. Randall was trying to poke him but Clay was swinging too fast.
Clay: Not helping! (swings side to side)
Randall: Look cut me some fucking slack! This is my first time doing this, okay! (sees the red cloaked figure) He's real.
Out of sight, the red cloaked figure then sends a wooden board flying in Clay's direction. The wooden board slammed into Clay's stomach and sent him falling. Randall was able to catch him. Clay had the speech in his hand.
Clay: Thank you.
Randall: You know while I saving you from falling, I thought I caught a glimpse of that red cloaked man.
Clay: You did! Is he still here?
Going to a window, Randall sees the red cloaked figure was gone.
Randall: GODAMMIT! No he isn't anymore.
Karen (walks into her office): You found my speech! Wonderful. Thank you.
Clay: Thank you. It takes one mayor to know another.
Karen: Hey, don't you have a wife?
Clay: I do but she went with the other cops.
Karen: Hmmm, she should've came with you.
Walking out of City Hall, Randall and Clay have a conversation.
Clay: You know, I think that psychic old lady was right.
Randall: Edna Dorseldigits? Don't mind her she's a whack job.
Clay: No hear me out. I really do believe she's right. I am in danger of this red cloaked figure.
Randall: We were going to show you the seance wasn't real until she showed up. You should trust us not her. The more you and your wife stay with us the sooner we will nail his ass.
Scene 9:
At the lake. Bloberta was there with Dusty and Gina. Dusty was working a crane. Behind them all from a tree, the red cloaked figure was watching.
Dusty: I think Tom Hanks used something like this in The Money Pit!
Bloberta: There's a reason I came with you.
Gina: What is it?
Bloberta: That Edna lady said Clay was in danger with the red cloaked figure.
Gina: So you came with us so you can abandon your husband. That way the twat waffle will attack him and not you. Upstanding wife you are. (rolls eyes)
Bloberta: That's not why I came.....Randall told us it's possible that the cloaked figure can be in two places at once.
Gina: Fine, I'm convinced.
In the crane Dusty pulls out a fat dead body.
Bloberta (gasps): AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Dusty (gets out of the crane): We fished out a whopper! A River Ran Though It! (laughs) I love movie title humor!
Gina (looks at the dead body): OOOOOHHH! I'm so hot and horny! Boy how I'd like to fuck him! Even if he is dead! Just made syrup in my pants!
Dusty: It's not just any other fat dude, it's (takes a better look at the corpse)....
Gina, Bloberta, and Dusty: JERRY NADLER!
Dusty: What the hell was he doing in Paradise?
The red cloaked figure snuck up from behind Bloberta and then disappeared. Dusty and Gina got a good look at it.
Dusty: Forget Jerry Nadler! I took a gander at that red dude who's after you.
Bloberta: You did?
Gina: I was wrong if I thought you abandoned your husband. Randall is right. Guess this means he's after both of you.
Bloberta: (shrieks) Oh my God.
When Dusty, Gina, and Bloberta were going to reunite with Randall and Clay. They see a funeral pass by. It was an open casket and inside was supposedly Clay. The red cloaked figure was standing on the coffin giving the middle finger.
Bloberta: Oh no! Thats Clay! Hes dead! Both he and Orel are dead! Ive lost my son! My husband! I've lost everything! (sobbing)
Gina: How are we going to help these people now?
Dusty: Maybe we can't.
In another part of town. Fitz, Zeta, and Frank were in their limo chasing the UFO that captured Brett. So far they had no luck with keeping up with the UFO!
Fitz: If I see those aliens I'll sodomize them until my penis hits their brains and they puke their brains out!
Frank Flipperfist: Driving around in this limo is getting us fucking nowhere fast!
Zeta: Mr Frank is right. It's flying farther and farther away from us.
Fitz: I can't keep up like this any longer! We could run out of gas at any minute.
Frank Flipperfist: We don't want that!
Fitz: This is the fourth time! Fourth time! Brett has been kidnapped!
Frank Flipperfist: I know right! He's a very capable competent henchman and yet he gets captured every now and then.
Fitz: Tell me something I don't know.
Zeta: When was the first time Uncle Brett got kidnapped?
Fitz: First he was a POW in Afganistan by those Al Qaeda assholes. Then he got kidnapped by Robbie and Delbert when they had that 'Snake Hick Club' after that it was Kevin and the Paradise PD!
Frank Flipperfist (to Zeta): Didn't you find Brett that time?
Zeta: I did. That's what lead to me being adopted by Daddy Fitz!
Fitz: I am a better parent to her than those cock sucker Mattos ever were! I'm glad those mother fuckers are dead.
Frank Flipperfist then bumps his foot on a suitcase. Frank yelps with pain.
Zeta: You okay, Mr. Frank?
Frank Flipperfist: Bumped my foot on something.
Picking up the suitcase, Frank and Zeta open it. Inside it was a flying suit that Lovely Corp invented.
Zeta: Daddy Fitz! Did you invent a flying suit?
Fitz: Yes I did. (snaps fingers) I got it!
Frank Flipperfist: What do you got?
Fitz: I'll use the flying suit to fly up to the UFO and save Brett!
Zeta: Kick some ass Daddy Fitz!
Frank Flipperfist: Lovely Corp sure is ahead of it's time.
Fitz: We ought to invent flying cars next! (laughs)
Stopping the limo. Fitz puts on the flying suit and flies to the UFO. The flying suit resembled an astronaut spacesuit. Instead of a helmet it had goggles included.
Fitz: GERALD FITZGERALD AAAWWWAAAAYYYYYYYYY!
Frank Flipperfist: Oh! SHIT! I forgot to tell him that the flying suit has powers.
Zeta: Wish we were going with him.
Scene 10:
The next day, Clay and Bloberta go back to Paradise Pentacoastal Church to meet with Edna Dorsaldigits.
Bloberta: I saw you in a funeral! Edna is right! The cloaked figure is after you! Me too, and I want to confirm it.
Clay: Here she is let's talk to her.
Bloberta: You know I am kind of thinking that Orel is talking though Edna. Like those seizures she gets.
Clay: Bloberta! I do not mean to sound like a mean father to you! But, for the last time, OREL IS DEAD!
Edna: Oh good day to you two. What brings you back here?
Clay: The red cloaked figure is after us.
Bloberta: I even saw a vision of my husband's funeral! And a dead fat politician that was drowned in the river in the same way like our son! We have the Paradise PD protecting us from it and it even keeps disappearing when they have a chance to nab it.
Clay: My funeral! But I'm still alive!
Edna: You did the right thing. In fact I know where it is headed.
Bloberta: By the way, is Orel talking though you?
Edna: He is. I will summon him again. Spirits above....
Clay and Bloberta watch as Edna uses her psychic abilities to track down the red cloaked figure. Back at Paradise PD Headquarters, Randall wonders where Clay and Bloberta are.
Randall: Kevin! Have you seen that Puppington assholes around?
Kevin: You mean the ones who are on vacation and lost their son to drowning?
Randall: Of course that's who I meant!
Bullet: Who did you think we meant The Duggars?
Kevin: Last time I saw them they were going to the church.
Gina: Then church we shall go!
Dusty: Let's make a song out of it like in Duck Soup! (singing) To Church! To Church! To Church We Have To Go!
Randall: God dammit Dusty! Why do you always have to make a song and dance game out of everything!
Dusty: I don't do it all the time! It's the only way I cope with every one these cases we have to crack!
Stanley: I had an exorcism done on me before I had to audition for Doctor X!
Bullet: Why are you in such a hurry to go to church?
Randall: Owning up to the fact that we all know now that this cloaked figure is really real. Who knows if it will show up or not.
Kevin: You're right, Dad. They've been getting followed around by whatever that thing is.
Gina: I'll fire up the squad car!
Back at the Paradise Pentacoastal Church. Edna was again having the seizure like trance again.
Clay: Tell us, Edna! Tell us.
Bloberta: Where is it heading!
Edna: It's headed....it's headed...on top of buildings!
Randall, Kevin, Dusty, Bullet, Stanley, and Gina all walk inside.
Clay: She told us.
Randall: Okay, what did she tell you?
Bloberta: The figure that drowned our son in jumping on buildings here.
Clay and Bloberta run out of the church and the Paradise PD run after them. Then decide to stop when Clay and Bloberta climb up a building on a ladder then begin their search. Randall is keeping a close look on his telescope.
Kevin: Should we go up there and help them?
Randall: We'll wait for the red figure to make a stop. (sees the red cloaked figure from far away) It's reappearing! Now disappering! This criminal is swift and brilliant
Dusty: When this is over I'm going to watch Little Muppets Monsters on Youtube.
Bullet: Wasn't that the shitty Muppet Babies spin off that failed?
Gina: A-ha! They're on top of the library now! Woah, now they're on top of the grocery store.
Clay and Bloberta run on top of buildings with constant signs of the red cloaked figure. The chases lasts for a while. Visions of Orel drowning were shown. During that chase the red cloaked figure kept reappearing the disappearing as Randall observed. That was until they see the red cloaked figure has finally yielded on the ground near a pier. Clay and Bloberta climb down from the Paradise VHS Building they were on. Randall gives the order to drive down to the Paradise Pier. Clay and Bloberta were now at the pier, finally they see the red cloaked figure was a reality after all. It had it's back turned. The Paradise PD arrived there with their squad car.
Bloberta: Edna's visions were correct! It was on the building.
Clay: And now it's here.
Randall: FREEZE! PARADISE PD!
Clay and Bloberta shook frozen in fear.
Randall: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I didn't mean you guys! I meant that cloaked asshole!
Bloberta: Thank you for helping us. What are you going to to now?
Clay: Guys stay where you all are. I'll take care of this!
Dusty: No don't do it!
Kevin: We understand you want justice for your son and....
Clay (walks up to the red cloaked figure): Hello? It's okay. I'm a friend and.....
The red cloaked figure turns around and it was a demon all along. The demon was wrestling and attacking Clay. Church bells were ringing loudly. Then visions were shown again of red drink that was spilled near the luggage on the hotel table, Orel drowning, the family photo, Edna having seizures, the church window breaking, Robbie and Delbert, Clay and Bloberta's sexual liasion, Clay hanging from the ceiling of Karen's office. Also visions Bloberta witnessing Clay's funeral and Dusty fishing out a dead Jerry Nadler. After the visions fade away, the demon has killed Clay.
Bloberta: (sobs and cries): I lost my son and now my husband! WHY! WHY! WHY!
The demon was still standing and now was looking to attack Bloberta.
Randall: None of us here can probably take on a demon, so Gina get in there!
Gina: Leave this all to Mama!
With Bullet joining in, Gina rips the demon's head off and rips apart it's body like an old cloth with her usual brutal force. Bloberta stood stoic as a stone. Bullet takes the demon's head and eats it's brain. The demon was defeated. Never again to torment anyone.
Bullet: Mmm Mmm! Demon brain is DEE-LICIOUS!
Gina: That's the end of that one!
Bloberta: That funeral I saw, it was right. It really was Clay! (sobs)
Dusty: We're sorry for your loss, Mrs Puppington.
Soon afterward a double funeral was held for Clay Puppington and Orel Puppington. Randall, Kevin, Bullet, Dusty, Gina, and Stanley were there to show support to Bloberta. When it was over, Dusty went home to watch Little Muppets Monsters, then the rest of the Paradise PD drive Bloberta Puppington back to the Paradise Airport. Where she will go back to Moralton Statesota one way and one way only.....alone.
Scene 11 Conclusion:
Inside the UFO, Brett and Hobo Cop were still in the stasis tubes being forced to watch Hope Floats. The movie was over, and Brett was telling jokes about it.
Brett DeMarco: Your Daddy doesn't want you! Get over it, little whiny bitch!
Hobo Cop: Hey? I'm trying to watch this and all you're doing it making fun it!
Brett DeMarco: It's called 'riffing'.
The Banana Aliens come and take Brett out of his stasis tube in a rageful manner.
Banana Alien Ruler (to Brett): All right you, we had just about enough of your attitude!
Banana Alien #1: Now we will kill you!
The Banana Aliens throw Brett in a vat tie his hands on the handles and pour gasoline on him. Fitz in the flying suit was on his way to rescue Brett.
Song: Smashing Pumpkins XYU plays.
Banana Alien Ruler: This is what you get for being so defiant!
Banana Alien #2: You don't get to be in our pet show now!
Brett DeMarco: Yeah? You can take your alien pet show and stick it up your ass!
Banana Alien Ruler: Being defiant again, are we?
Banana Alien #3: What should we do boss?
Banana Alien Ruler: Fill 'Er Up!
The Banana Aliens were dousing Brett was gas. Then a crash is heard from inside the UFO. It was Gerald Fitzgerald in the Lovely Corp Flying Suit!
Brett DeMarco: FITZ! Thank God!
Fitz: You're the aliens? Why are you all in the form of Bananas? And three eyes no less?
Banana Alien Ruler: This is what our speices looks like, okay?
Banana Alien #2: Got a problem with appearance! Or the color of our skin? Your skin sucks by the way.
Fitz: No! I have a problem with you guys kidnapping my best worker! Let him go now!
Banana Alien #3: No! We must kill him! He's been insubordinate and now he must die!
Fitz: OKay then, we can do this the easy way or the hard way!
Banana Alien #2: You dare challenge us to a fight, Mr. Pajama Police!
Fitz: I have something better in mind!
Banana Alien #1: Really what?
Fitz uses the powers of the Lovely Corp flying suit to zap by the the Banana Aliens. The force caused them to spin. Hobo Cop was watching in confusion. Fitz then messes up the controls of the UFO.
Banana Alien Ruler: You black son of a bitch! What did you do?!?!
Fitz: You want me to answer? I will, but first. (points to Brett) Untie him!
Banana Alien #2: No never!
Fitz: Untie HIM!
Banana Alien #3: How about you tell us...
Fitz: UNTIE HIM!!!!!
The Banana Aliens freed Brett from the vat full of gasoline.
Banana Alien Ruler: We gave you what you wanted. Now you owe us an explaintion! What the fuck did you do to our UFO!
Fitz: Damaged the controls! Now you will crash, burn, and eventually die Have a nice death!
Brett DeMarco: Hope your lungs burn up!
Fitz flies away with Brett. Hobo Cop calls out.
Hobo Cop: WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!!
The Banana Aliens throw out Hobo Cop then their UFO explodes into nothingness. The Banana Aliens were long gone. Vaporized into the winds of the air. Hobo Cop runs away.
Fitz: I just turned those Banana Aliens into Bananas Flambe! (laughs evilly)
Hobo Cop: I'm going to miss those guys! They were going to give me a home. Shit! Back to the dark alley I go.
Fitz lands with Brett.
Frank Flipperfist: Wow! Fitz! We saw everything! You were awesome!
Fitz: This flying suit worked like a hot knife though butter!
Zeta (hugs Brett): Oh Uncle Brett. I'm so glad you're safe.
Brett DeMarco: I am too Zeta.
Going back inside the limo. Fitz, Brett, Zeta, and Frank all drive back to Lovely Corp.
Fitz: Tell Russian Mobster, Marcos, and Pedro to make more of these flying suits!
Brett DeMarco: I sure will.
Fitz: People will want to buy them and I have a hunch they will sell like hotcakes! Then we will make even more money because there will be a hypno power in the suits and people will keep coming back for more Lovely Corp products!
Frank Flipperfist: That's a genius idea!
Zeta: Where to now, Daddy Fitz?
Fitz: How about the skating rink?
Brett DeMarco: OKay sure! There's a hot chick who works at the counter I want to ask out.
Frank Flipperfist: Not if I ask her out first!
Fitz: Those Banana Aliens sure loved Sergio Leone movies.
Frank Flipperfist: They lied to us! Those bastards! They did use inspiration from Earth entertainment!
Brett DeMarco: Seems like they did. They tried to pull a "Once Upon A Time In America" on me!
Everyone all had a good laugh. The limo was now driving off into the sunset on their way to the skating rink.
Fitz: Wonder what happened to Hobo Cop?
The episode ends with Hobo Cop making crop circles around a farm field.
Hobo Cop: Now I wait.......
THE END
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