Categories > Cartoons > Paradise PD
Obese Hornet
0 reviewsDusty and Bullet become local superheroes. Robbie and Delbert want to work at Lovely Corp
1Exciting
My first fanfic of 2024! Enjoy!
Paradise PD
Fanfic Title:
Obese Hornet
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
A black race car is driving down the streets of Paradise. Inside driving were Dusty Marlow and Bullet. They now had superhero alter egos known as Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon. Dusty was dressed in a purple overcoat, dark magenta mask, hat, cape, blackish purple slacks and brown boots. Bullet was dressed in a black cap, black mask, and sweatshirt.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): So, Wolfmoon! What conflicts are we going to solve tonight?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Your guess is as good as mine, Obese Hornet!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hey, we never named our race car, did we?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We can call it the Black Bandit!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): That's a cool name for it!
A buzzer goes off in their black race car.
Bullet(as Wolfmoon): Yes! We got something!
A police radio calls out.
Bullet:(as Wolfmoon): All right! A mission!
Police Radio: A robbery in progress at the local Sex Toy shop!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Let's floor it!
Driving the Black Bandit to the Sex Toy Shop, Dusty and Bullet arrive there before after the Paradise PD do. The people who were robbing the Sex Toy Shop were Anton and Unresigestered Earl. All the employees were in the surrender position!
Unreigestered Earl: You heard us! Empty your cash registers NOW!
Anton: And that includes the S&M Equipment!
The employees were taking their time giving their money and acessesories to Unregistered Earl and Anton, they get fed up!
Unregistered Earl: Hurry up! You're pissing us off!
Anton: Perhaps this will make you go faster! Hit it!
Night And Day By Fred Astaire plays. Anton sings and tap dances.
Anton (singing): Night And Day. You Are The One! Only You Beneath The Moon And Under The Sun....
Before Anton can continue with his song and dance. A crash is heard from both sides of the Sex Toy Shop. On one side, Dusty as the Obese Hornet with Bullet as Wolfmoon by his side, and on the other it was the Paradise PD. Camaro Bob witnesses the whole thing.
Camaro Bob: Glory be to the saints, baby! The Sex Toy Shop is saved!
Randall: Paradise PD!
Kevin: Your days of robbing Sex Toy Stores are over!
Stanley: Didn't that German fellow sing a song from The Gay Divorcee?
Gina: Unregistered Earl! We should've known. Anton? What the fuck?
Dusty (as the Obese Hornet): Step asides, fellas! We'll handle it from here!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): RRROOOOARRRRR! KARATE!
Dusty shoots his weapon called The Hornet Sting at Unregistered Earl and Anton until they were both buck naked. Bullet used 'karate' on them. Their testicles flew into their mouths as did their penises.
Unregistered Earl (muffled): I think I got the worst part of this!
Anton (muffled): We both got the bad end of the deal!
Randall, Stanley, Gina, and Kevin could not believe what they were seeing. Never in a million years did they think they would be upstaged by a superhero. Kevin was very impressed.
Stanley: Maybe this is that George Reeves fella.
Kevin: Wow. A Superhero in our own backyard! Please do tell us your name!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Why Obese Hornet is my name! Fighting crime is my game!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): and I'm Wolfmoon! I'm named such because I love the night!
Randall: Look, Obese Hornet. There's already a team of crimefighters here and that's us....
Gina begins to get aroused when the Obese Hornet comes to her. Randall is ignored.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Who might you be, m'lady?
Gina: Gina Jabowski!
The Obese Hornet gives Gina a rose and a piece of paper which causes Gina to get goosebumps.
Gina: OOooooooohhhh! Think I'm in love! (gets an orgasm and wets herself)
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): It was great to meet you Paradise PD people! Maybe we'll cross paths again one day!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We have other crimes to solve! Bye for now!
Stanley (sees Gina's wet orgasm): And people think I get wet down there!
Randall: Let's go back to police headquarters. We need to have a serious discussion about this.
Scene 2:
The Day After. At Paradise PD Headquarters. Randall wanted to speak out The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Randall: Ladies and gentlemen. I do not approve of this Obese Hornet asshole!
Kevin: Why Dad? I think he's really cool.
Randall: Because if he gets better than us at crimefighting. This could be the last of our class.
Gina: He seems to only come out at night, though.
Randall: Well, so do we, right? We're on call 24/7/365! We cannot let the Obese Hornet and that other asshole....
Stanley: Wolfman with Lon Cheney you mean?
Randall: Fuck off, Stanley! Anyway, like I was saying, Before he ruins us, we have to ruin him.
Kevin: How about instead, we have them work for us?
Gina: I'm with Kevin on this. Can we?
Randall: NO! NEVER!
Gina: Shit!
Randall: All right, Kevin. You love this Obese Hornet fucker so much! You track him down.
Kevin: I sure will.
Randall: And be sure to find out who the fuck he is and where he came from!
Gina looks at the rose and the paper that was given to her by the Obese Hornet. With a sly smile on her face.
Kevin: Happy to do it! Whenever it comes to superheroes! I'm ready!
That very afternoon, Karen Crawford was in her office. The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon were there.
Karen: So far you both have done such outstanding service for our community!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Why thank you, Mrs. Mayor.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We are exactly what this town needs.
Karen: Agreed. My husband can learn a thing or two from you guys!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We ran into those Paradise PD guys last night. Talk about incompetant!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Yeah they couldn't solve crimes to save their lives!
Karen: Thank you for stopping by! In the meantime I'll have to hire a new assistant. Anton vanished for some reason!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Let's go to our secret hideout!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Where nobody knows where it is but us!
Dusty and Bullet get into their car The Black Bandit and drive off. Kevin follows them in a police car.
Kevin: All right, Obese Hornet. Let's see who you really are. Or if you need a third sidekick!
Scene 3:
The Black Bandit drove into the woods and near a cave. Miles away, Kevin followed them and tried to stay out of range. Dusty and Bullet were about to take off their Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon disguises.
Bullet: We kick ass as these Superheroes!
Dusty: More important, we get respect!
Bullet: I got so sick and tired of the Paradise PD slamming us all the time. Me for my drug addiction! You for your obesity!
Dusty: You're telling me. This is the most fun I've ever had with you, Bullet!
Bullet: We'll make it last!
Dusty: Only one thing though.
Bullet: What could that be?
Dusty: Seems like we only solve small crimes. We need something big!
Bullet: Agree with that. A crime so huge we'll be the best Superheroes in the state of Georgia! But first, let's check out our laboratory!
Dusty: Best thing about this is, nobody knows who we really are!
Bullet: Even Randall, Kevin, Gina, and Stanley didn't recognize us!
Inside the cave there was a laboratory. Kevin sneaks inside.
Dusty: These potions and machinery is where we get all our powers and weapons from.
Bullet: Always knew you were a crafty guy!
Kevin (thinks to himself): Why aren't they taking off their costumes?
Dusty downs some potion while Bullet reloads the Hornet Sting. Kevin bumps into a wall which attracts attention to Dusty and Bullet.
Bullet: Assassin!
Kevin: No wait! I'm Kevin Crawford from the Paradise PD!
Dusty: What are you doing here in our secret lair?
Kevin: My Dad the police chief sent me.
Bullet: For what?
Kevin: He wanted me to find out who you both are and....
Dusty: Not going to happen.
Bullet: Get out! You have no right to be in here!
Kevin: Before you kick me out. Would you guys consider having a third guy on your team! Or perhaps team up with us cops?
Dusty: Not an option! We're a duo!
Bullet: We don't work for the police. We work alone!
Kevin (sighs): Come on, give me a chance! I bet I can just as good a superhero as you two! Maybe being a trio would work better and....
Bullet was showing Kevin and door.
Dusty: Guess you didn't hear us! We work as a duo! We're not looking for a third person to join us! If ever!
Kevin: Please! I love Superheroes! Always wanted to be one! Make me one! I won't be any trouble! I won't tell anyone!
Dusty and Bullet kick Kevin out of the cave. Dusty throws a CD Player at Kevin.
Bullet: And stay out!
Dusty: While you're at it! Listen to this sad Henry Mancini music!
The CD Player plays a mellow tune while Kevin wallows in grief walking back to the police car.
Dusty: Clean the lab. I'm going into my room for a minute.
Bullet: I will.
Going into his room, still in his Obese Hornet costume. Gina crawls out from under Dusty's bed.
Gina: Did that twat waffle leave?
Dusty: He's gone. He wanted to be one of us.
Gina: Yeah that's Kevin all right. Always wanting what he can't have.
Dusty: So, would you like a romantic candlelit dinner and some hot sex with the Obese Hornet!
Gina: Take me! Make my body sing!
When Dusty as the Obese Hornet has sex with Gina. Kevin drives back to Paradise PD Headquarters.
Randall: Kevin! What did you find out about the Obese Hornet!
Kevin: I was able to get to their lair but got kicked out before I can find out anything!
Randall: Son of a bitch!
Kevin: I tried to persuade him to make me a superhero and....
Randall: That's it! This Obese Hornet son of a bitch has got to GO! (pounds fist on his desk)
Scene 4:
At the crackhouse of Robbie and Delbert. They frantically look around for some crack which appears to be all gone.
Robbie: Goddammit Delbert! Where the hell has all the crack gone?
Delbert: I think we used most of it last week to put in those Girl Scout cookies!
Robbie: Yeah, that's right, we did.
Still searching for any trace of crack, Robbie and Delbert come up short!
Delbert: Motherfucker! Looks like we used all of it!
Robbie: Crack doesn't come cheap you know.
Delbert: What'll we gonna do?
Robbie: I know! I'll call my Dad and see if he can give up some dough!
Going to the phone, Robbie calls his Dad Wendell.
Wendell: Hello son?
Robbie (faux sobs over phone): Dad....Dad it's me! (sobs) Me and Delbert ran out of crack again Dad!
Wendell (over phone): Now you listen to me son! You cannot keep calling me anytime you get a tiny predicament in your little fantasy world! You need to stand up and start being a man....
Robbie slams the phone in anger. Delbert then sees Lovely Corp from their window.
Delbert: Hey, Robbie. Maybe we can get some good paying jobs at the Lovely Corp place.
Robbie: Guess you're right. If it's the only way we can get crack again.....
Walking over to Lovely Corp, Robbie and Delbert are meet with Gerald Fitzgerald and Brett DeMarco.
Fitz: Well, well, well. Look at what the cat dragged in.
Brett DeMarco: Two worthless pathetic hick slackers who want to make money, am I right?
Robbie: We just want some jobs here.
Delbert: Until we're able to afford more crack.
Fitz: Sure, come this way, gentlemen.
Brett DeMarco and Fitz lead Robbie and Delbert to a structure that looked like a fun house.
Robbie: Is this where we're going to work?
Fitz: Uhh, not exactly.
Delbert: We came here for a job! Give us a fucking job already!
Fitz: We will in time. But first you both need to step inside this house.
Robbie: Why do we have to do that?
Brett DeMarco: Want to work for Lovely Corp? You need to prove yourselves worthy of working at our fine corporate organization!
Robbie and Delbert are hesitant and confused on all levels.
Fitz: Don't just stand there, GO IN! (pushes Robbie)
Brett DeMarco: You're not going to find out if you're good enough to work here, so IN you go! (kicks Delbert)
Robbie and Delbert look around their surroundings. Fitz and Brett DeMarco go back into their office and watch Robbie and Delbert in the house in which they were now imprisoned.
Brett DeMarco (laughs): We should've left them at a forest in Hawaii like Brian Wilson!
Fitz: Nah, this is much better! While everyone else is away, and Zeta is in school. Fitz and Brett will play.
Brett DeMarco: What do you plan to do with this Fun House?
Robbie and Delbert walk around the house.
Delbert: What the hell is this, that place in The Grudge.
Robbie: Hmmm, not sure how trapping us in here is going to make us better people for a job.
Delbert sees a claymated kid forming in front of them. The kid turned into Roland from The Fruit Wrinkles commercial.
Roland: Hi, I'm Roland! What makes Fruit Wrinkles so chewy and soft?
Robbie and Delbert scream and run away. Roland chases after them.
Roland: Come on, you guys! Have some Fruit Wrinkles with me!
Scene 5:
Another mission comes along for The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hey, Bullet, I mean Wolfmoon! Are you ready to kick some criminal dick tonight!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon) Correct as usual Dusty, I mean Obese Hornet!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): You know we need a theme song. Got any ideas?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Fleetwood Mac's Go Your Own Way comes to mind.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Nah, it's gotta be more hard core!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): I thought of one! Alexa! Play Hard Fi Suburban Knights!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): That's a good one! (speeds up the Black Bandit) And here we goooooo.......
Hard Fi's Suburban Knights plays.
As the month passes on. Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon become an overnight crime fighting sensation. Solving every crime in the town of Paradise. Karen wanted to nominate them for a Lifetime Achievment Award. Every day they were on the front page news on the newspaper. Randall comes in to Police Headquarters feeling very resentful. Stanley, Gina, and Kevin were waiting his arrival in the conference room.
Kevin: Anyone seen Dusty and Bullet? Wonder how they would feel about the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon?
Gina: Oh, I know. Dusty and Bullet joined Strawberry Action Squad so Dusty can reconnect with his 'Diddy' or something like that. (thinks to herself) He gives the best sex ever!
Stanley: Oh look, J. Scott Smart's here!
Randall: It's police Chief Randall you fucking nimrod!
Kevin: DAD! Why are you so bitter today!
Randall: It's because of these superheroes running around! They're going to put us out of business!
Gina: Also heard your wife wants to present them with an award.
Randall: Well they don't deserve it! We're the ones who should be solving cases and get all the credit!
Kevin: I agree with that Dad, but I think it would be even better and more cool if we worked with them!
Randall: Still can't get over that fairy tale, can you Kevin!
Stanley: It's like having Dick Purcell in our own backyard.
Gina: What I don't get is, how does that Wolfmoon such an expert in martial arts?
Kevin: He's like Air Bud if he knew karate.
Randall: Instead of sitting around and talking about them, how about we check out these newspapers!
Getting out a stack of newspapers, Randall goes though them and shows the headlines to Kevin, Gina, and Stanley.
Randall (reading from newspapers): Obese Hornet Strikes Again! Obese Hornet finds missing jewels, Obese Hornet stops a riot, Obese Hornet joins Black Lives Matter, Obese Hornet stops a money heist at 5th National Paradise Bank!
Kevin: You want to stop this guy, don't you Dad.
Randall: Before he hogs up anymore glory then yes.
Gina: You're on your own there. I don't want to help stop a superhero. (thinks to herself): Esepcially one as sexy as him!
Randall: Fine! Say I got it. But you'll all have to help me or else you're all fired and have to stand in bread lines!
Kevin: Okay!
Gina: Not that we have a choice.
Stanley: What do you have in mind?
Kevin, Gina, and Stanley watch Randall as he goes to a police radio and hacks into it and gains access to The Obese Hornet's police radio.
Randall: Calling all cars! Calling all cars! There's a tree fire in a residential area.
Gina: But there are no reports of fires....
Randall: Just trust me on this one. I know what I'm doing!
Nobody in Paradise knew that Dusty and Bullet were The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Scene 6:
In their car The Black Bandit, Dusty as the Obese Hornet gets the call from the police radio unaware that it was Randall on the other end.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Did you hear that, Obese Hornet?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Of course I did! We're going to have to put out a fire!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Floor it!
Speeding up to the residential area where the supposed fire was, Dusty and Bullet stop their Black Bandit car and find out there was no fire at all.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): What the fuck? Where's this fire we were promised? I was expecting a Backdraft situation!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): I know right? Where are the arsonists! With my karate skills I was going to become like Wesley Snipes in Blade!
A little girl rans out to meet the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hey there little girl? Is there a fire around here?
Little Girl: Fire? No.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Obviously you need our help. What's the matter?
Little Girl: (sobs) I'm glad you guys came.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): No need for waterworks, kid. Tell us what happened.
Little Girl: My kitty is stuck in the tree and she won't get down. (cries)
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Consider it done. I guess.
Bullet and Dusty try to climb the tall tree to get the cat. Bullet was able to get the cat but because of Dusty's obeseness the tree started to fall over. Bullet throws the cat back to the girl.
Little Girl: Thank you, guys!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Ohhhhh, This is why I hate climbing trees.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We'll go down the same way we came up!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Okay.
The tree Dusty and Bullet swung back and forth like a pendulum. Finally because of the distribution of Dusty's weight the tree falls off and lands on Goopy Goobers. Picking themselves up after their fall, Dusty and Bullet see the Goopy Goobers destroyed and a group of people laughing at them.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Oh no! Goopy Goobers! My All time favorite restuarant!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): All those people are laughing at us! But why? And how?
Scene 7:
Fitz and Brett DeMarco were watching through their laptop, Robbie and Delbert in a living hell in the 'Fun House'. Still being chased by Roland.
Robbie: Get the fuck away from us you claymated sumbitch!
Delbert: We don't give a rats ass about your Fruit Wrinkles!
Roland (chases Robbie and Delbert with a knife): This time it'll cost you!
Robbie: Holy fuck! He's got a knife!
Delbert: If we don't get away from him, we'll end up like Swiss cheese!
Fitz (laughs evilly): I get a pleasure out of watching rednecks suffer! Anyway, I think they've had enough of Roland for now.
Brett DeMarco: Who are you going to bring out, next?
Fitz: Hows about some Fruit Drinks!
Brett DeMarco pushes a button, and Fitz continues to watch. In the Fun House, Roland gets squashed by the Kool Aid Man.
Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH!
Robbie: Kool-Aid Man! Thank God!
Kool-Aid Man: I knew that low down mother fucker Roland was going to kill you. Come on, follow me I'll lead you to safety!
Delbert: Where are you taking us?
The Kool-Aid Man leads Robbie and Delbert into a room. Once the rednecks went inside. A bunch of school children who were acting like they lived in the 1950's came to sing.
School Kids (singing): bum bummity Doo bummity bee! Hi-C! You Taste So Wonderfully.....Wonderfully! And All That Vitamin C....
Robbie: OKay......their point? I'm no fan of 1950's be-bop!
Delbert: Oh come on, Robbie! It's not all that bad!
Robbie and Delbert decide to join the school kids in and Hi-C dance. However the school kids began to morph into Hi-C juice boxes and squirt enough Hi-C to fill up the room thus trying to drown Robbie and Delbert. Fitz and Brett DeMarco crack up.
Fitz: They're lucky we didn't use Ecko Cooler! (laughs)
Brett DeMarco: If they drown they'll be buried at C! Or should I say, Buried at Hi-C!
Fitz and Brett DeMarco continue to laugh seeing Robbie and Delbert almost drown in Hi-C!
Robbie: Kool-Aid Man! Help us!
Delbert: You saved are asses and then you disappeared!
The Kool-Aid Man was sitting on a lounge chair reading a newspaper ignoring Robbie and Delbert.
Scene 8:
Dusty and Bullet still in their Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon personas. Pick themselves up after falling from the tall tree getting the girls' cat earlier. The crowd that was laughing at them left.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Guess that was for nothing.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet); You're telling me.
Back at Police Headquarters, Randall was still playing around with the police radio to give 'missions' to the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Gina: SO, what happened to the Obese Hornet?
Randall: It was a false alarm Gina. What I aim to do is have this Obese Hornet asshole think there's a crime going on, when their really isn't!
Kevin: Oh, come on Dad! Don't you think you're going about this too extreme? Remember what Mom said about jealousy. It's a green eyed monster.
Randall: On the plus side, people are already laughing at him! We Paradise PD will be back on top as the best crime fighters in town! No need for fucking ass superheroes!
Stanley: I know a green eyed monster! Some fella from Japan named Rodan!
Randall: All right everyone! Shut the fuck up!
Talking into the police radio once more. Randall gives out a 'crime' for the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon to do.
Randall (into the police radio): Calling all cars! Calling all cars! There's a speedboat running away with huge kegs of cocaine at Paradise Harbor.
Back at the residential area, Dusty and Bullet hear the 'report.'
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Did you hear that, Wolfmoon! Some cocaine dealers are getting away on a speed boat.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Yes! We're in luck. A real crime!
The black bandit speeds off to the harbor. Dusty and Bullet arrive at Paradise Harbor and see a speedboat sail away in fast speeds.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Look Obese Hornet! That police report was right this time!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): If the first amendment doesn't work, the second amendment will!
Taking out his 'Hornet Sting'. Dusty shoots at the departing speedboat and it explodes! The people at Paradise Harbor see the whole thing and stare like they didn't know what to think.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Yes! Yes! We did it! We did it!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): All those people were are proud of us. (to the crowd) no worries! Those cocaine smugglers are as good as gone!
Much to their dismay, the people on the speedboat turned out to be a vacationing family with kids.
The Father: You fucking assholes! Don't you know how much this boat costed me?
The Mother: All we wanted was a fun peaceful vacation!
The Father: You scarred our kids for life you motherfuckers!
The people in the harbor begin to boo and hiss at the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hey? Why are you mad at us?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): You should be thankful for everything we're doing!
Just then, Karen Crawford along with a team of news anchors come to the Paradise Harbor to confront the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Karen: What the FUCK did you just do?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Killed some cocaine smugglers?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We heard word on our radio about it. We hadn't a clue they were a vacationing family!
Karen: If you guys fuck up one more time, you can forget about that Lifetime Achievement Award! Then you'll both be banned from town! And that's a promise!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): What'll happen to us then?
Karen: Permanent retirement for you two, that's what!
Watching the whole thing unfold on the local news. Randall, Kevin, Stanley, and Gina see the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon about to become obsolete.
Randall: This is greatest day of my life! My plan is working! Just one more 'crime'.
Kevin gets out of the room.
Gina: Kevin? Where are you going?
Kevin: To find a crime! (to himself): This is my chance to actually help the Obese Hornet. I like the Obese Hornet! When I get done he'll be so thankful!
Scene 9:
When the local news and Karen left the Paradise PD. Dusty and Bullet were beside themselves.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We've been on such a good luck streak with this superhero thing. What happened?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): If you ask me someone is trying to set us up.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Could be but who?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): No time to think about that right now. We need to find a crime. A "real crime" mind you.....no fake fires or blowing up vacationing families.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): I know. A crime is not going to just appear in front of us. We need to do something to take back our good name.
Running down the streets of Paradise. Kevin runs past a new Levi's Store that opened recently.
Kevin: There's gotta be a crime around here somewhere! If I find one, The Obese Hornet will be so impressed. He'll recruit me, then I'll be the third dude in their crime fighting duo! We might even become, "The Terrific Trio!"
Laughter is heard from under the basement in the Levi's Store.
Kevin: Better go investigate.
Spying on clamour going on the basement of the Levi's Store. Kevin sees the Mafia. Their leader and don is Bobby Bubblebutt!
Bobby Bubblebutt: Tonight! We are going to pull off the biggest heist ever! We will steal all the blue jeans, grind them up and turn them into weapons, drugs, and alcohol!
Mafia Members: AAAAAYYYYYY!
Kevin (gasps): A Jean heist! Oh boy! The Obese Hornet will be so proud!
As he was going to run away, Kevin runs into a lamppost and bumps himself. The 'ding' sound was loud enough for Bobby Bubblebutt to hear.
Bobby Bubblebutt: What the fuck was that tumbling click? Go find out.
Kevin: Son of a bitch! Who I am? Martin Short in Three Fugitives?
Running off to try to find the Obese Hornet, Kevin runs down the streets. What he doesn't know is Bobby Bubblebutt's henchmen were watching him.
Scene 10:
Still drowning in the Hi-C. Robbie and Delbert try to swim to the surface.
Robbie: Remind me to never drink Hi-C again, Delbert!
Delbert: Deal, Robbie!
Fitz and Brett DeMarco are glued to their laptop watching Robbie and Delbert suffer. Fitz pushes a button.
Brett DeMarco: Who are you going to get after them now?
Fitz: Things are about to get very 'cer-real' for them! So to speak! (laughs)
A cowboy looking character lassos Robbie and Delbert out of the Hi-C and throws them in another room.
Robbie: Thanks for saving our asses back there, Mr. Cowboy!
Cowboy: Yeee Doggies! My name is OJ Joe!
Delbert: Okay Joe?
OJ Joe: No, OJ!
Robbie: Any relation to OJ Simpson?
OJ Joe: No I'm a cereal mascot for the Kellogs OJ's commercial!
Delbert: You gonna get us the fuck outta here!
OJ Joe: Of course I will! Move 'em out!
A whole bunch of oranges roll their way, OJ Joe, Robbie and Delbert were all riding on them. Robbie and Delbert were scared.
Robbie: ! I've never ridden on oranges before! I'm gonna lose my fucking balance!
Delbert: Don't you have horses, instead?
OJ Joe: Nope. YEEE HAAAWW!!!
The oranges leave Robbie and Delbert in another room. The room looks like an ice cream parlor.
Fitz: Wait until you see who's in store for our guests!
Brett DeMarco: I think I know who!
Robbie: A bakery? How is this supposed to prove we're worthy of working at Lovely Corp?
Delbert: What're gonna do now, make fucking Italian Ice, or something?
A door opens and the 3 commercial mascots for Rocky Road Cereal dance up to Robbie and Delbert. Fitz speaks though the laptop microphone.
Fitz: Introducing Rocky Road! Starring Choco!
Choco: TA DA!
Fitz: Van!
Van strums his guitar.
Fitz: And introducing Marsha! Hit it!
Choco, Van, and Marsha all dance and sing around Robbie and Delbert. They automatically hate their music.
Marsha (singing): Choco Chocolately puff makes my heart sing.....
Robbie and Delbert: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Scene 10:
The Black Bandit drives down the streets of Paradise. Dusty was still sporting his Obese Horner Persona as was Bullet with his Wolfmoon persona.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): There's gotta be a crime around here somewhere.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Paradise has more crime than any other small town in America!
Kevin sees the Black Bandit and gives them a signal to stop.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Oh no! Not Kevin again!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): He's going to want to join us I'd take it.
Stopping the Black Bandit, Dusty and Bullet walk out to meet Kevin.
Kevin: Obese Hornet! Thank God you're here.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): OKay, I haven't got all day. Make it snappy!
Kevin: I was taking a walk and went past the Levi's Store.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Let me take a gander here, some blue jeans came to life and want to plot world domination! (laughs)
Kevin: Please! This isn't a joke! I'm trying to be serious here!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): All right. Exactly what did you see? Oh and by the way, we're still NOT going to make you join us!
Kevin: Okay, understood. The Italian Mafia has a hideout underneath the store, and they're planning something big! I'll lead you to where they are.....
A van was racing down the street. It stopped for a minute and picked up Kevin and kidnapped him by throwing him into the van. The van sped down the street.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Kevin's been kidnapped!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): It's our job as superheroes to save him!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet); We have to follow that van!
Jumping into the Black Bandit. Bullet and Dusty try to pinpoint where the van was going. However, the van disappeared from their sight.
Scene 12:
Inside the van, Kevin found himself surrounded by Bobby Bubblebutt and his Mafia gang.
Kevin: You kidnapped me!
Bobby Bubblebutt: You were spying on us! Of course we had to!
Kevin: Don't hold me for ransom. My family isn't exactly rich!
Mafia Member #1: You have a family?
Mafia Member #2: Where can we find them?
Bobby Bubblebutt: And tell the truth!
Kevin: You got me! My Dad is the police Chief of the Paradise PD, and my Mom is the mayor of the town!
Bobby Bubblebutt: Thank you for your cooperation! We'll kidnap them too!
Mafia Members #1 and #2: AAAAAAAYYYYYYY !
The van drives towards the Paradise PD Headquarters. Soon afterward, Randall was kidnapped. Their next stop was City Hall, they kidnap Karen too. The local news comes on and interupts the scheduled programming!
TV: We interupt this episode of The Neighborhood to bring you a Local News Bulletin!
Kurt Connors: Thank you, good evening. The Crawford family. Randall, the police Chief, Karen, and mayor along with their son Kevin have all been kidnapped by an unknown source. We'll stay on top of this story every hour and keep you posted. We Now Join Our Regularly Scheduled Program The Neighborhood Already in Progress. And stayed tuned for an all new Bob Hearts Abishola!
Dusty and Bullet were watching the news in their cave.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): If we rescue the Crawford family, everyone in town will love us again!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Precisely old chum! We won't be a laughingstock anymore!
Bullet: Then our rep can be restored and we won't be treated by the town the same way the Paradise PD treats us! Now how can we track down Randall's and Kevin's whereabouts?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Elementary my dear Wolfmoon! We'll use our state of the art equipment to find out who and why this happened!
Going into their lab, Dusty and Bullet turn on a whole bunch of TV Screens that had access to every place on Paradise. On one of the screens, they see Randall, Kevin, and Karen all tied to chairs being terrorized by Bobby Bubblebutt.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): I know where that is!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): They're at an attic underneath the Bowling Alley.
When Bullet and Dusty were about to head out to rescue Randall, Kevin, and Karen. They realize they need some extra help.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Want to know something? Maybe we do need a third person on our side.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): I thought the same thing. Question is, but who? Not Stanley!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Nah, he's too old and decrepted! I got it! We can get Gina to help us!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Awesome! We'll make her a superhero too!
Dusty goes to call Gina.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Where are you going?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): To call Gina, where else?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): You fucked her. And she's attracted to fat guys so she'll love hang out with you I'm sure!
Scene 11:
Dusty and Bullet drive in the Black Bandit to Gina's house. They pull up in her driveway and ring her doorbell.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Come on, please let her be there!
Gina answers the door and was surprised to see Dusty and Bullet in their Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon personas.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Gina! We need your help!
Gina: Did you come back for sloppy seconds? Just for the record, I took a morning after pill after we did it.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): No it's nothing like that! Kevin's been kidnapped!
Gina: I bet he tried to help you find a crime. He mentioned something about that earlier.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): That he did. Now we can use a third person in our duo. Are you willing to join us?
Gina: Sure I will. What do I have to do?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We'll conjure up a costume for you! Since I'm being an insect superhero, you will be too!
Gina: OKay, deal!
Dusty and Bullet come inside Gina's house to dress her up like a superhero.
Scene 12:
Underneath the bowling alley, Bobby Bubblebutt and his Mafia cohorts were holding Kevin, Randall, and Karen.
Bobby Bubblebutt: Look at all of you! All tied up nice and cozy! What a cute little family you are!
Mafia Members #1 and #2: AAAAAAYYYYY!
Randall: Cute! I'll show you how cute I am!
Karen: Randall! Don't try anything!
Kevin: They got guns pointed at us!
Randall: Yeah, and who's fault was THAT? Why did you kidnap us? You can have Kevin, but not me!
Karen: Oooh! You really love us don't you?
Bobby Bubblebutt: SHUT UP! Your stupid ass son here thinks he's James Bond was spying on us when we were planning a blue jeans heist! Then he went and told that Obese Hornet fuckface all about us.
Kevin: Say anything you want about the Obese Hornet! I like him! He's the best thing that's ever happened in this town. I was trying to encourage him to take you all down so the town will love him again. After _DAD_ tried to make him a pariah...
Karen: Randall! How could you! Making a superhero out to be some buffoon so you can...
Bobby Bubblebutt: Silenzio!
Randall: Sheesh! That word sounds fucking stupid in Italian!
Bobby Bubblebutt: Because of what your son did, me and my Mafia gang will have you deported...to the bottom of the Indian Ocean!
Randall: You wouldn't dare!
Karen: Making us the sacrificial lambs so you can go about your heist.
Bobby Bubblebutt: First you all will go inside these cages and....
The other mafia members brought out some cages that looked big enough to put a human inside. A car was speeding towards the bowling alley and crashes from the outside with use of the Hornet Sting. The car turned out to be The Black Bandit. Dusty and Bullet come out of the Black Bandit.
Kevin: The Obese Hornet! He's here!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hornet Sting, Bitches! Works Every Time!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): I was going to say that!
Bobby Bubblebutt: The fuck! Shoot that car now!
The other Mafia members and Bobby Bubblebutt shot at the Black Bandit. The car proved to be bulletproof. Out come The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Your days are numbered you cum sucking Vincent Pastore looking mother fuckers!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Don't worry, you'll get to be near blue jeans soon. When you wear them day in and day out in prison!
Bobby Bubblebutt: AFTER THEM!
The Mafia members and Bobby Bubblebutt charge at The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon. Kevin was cheering them on.
Kevin: Kick some ass! Kick some ass!
The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon put up a good fight with karate and body slams, however Bobby Bubblebutt was able to overpower both of them. Which pleased Randall.
Randall: See? I told you that Obese Hornet was a piece of shit! Look how worthless he is.
Karen: I just can't believe you have the nerve......
Kevin: Oh no. Come on, Obese Hornet! You can do it! Untie us and save us all!
Randall: Maybe I'll Untie myself and I'll take credit for this!
Bobby Bubblebutt: What do you have to say for yourself now, Obese Hornet.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We're not beaten yet!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We have a secret weapon.
Crashing into the windows of the bowling alley basement. A woman breaks in dressed as an Orange Texas Asp. It was really Gina Jabowski in disguise and she too has a superhero persona called The Orange Pincher.
Gina (as Orange Pincher): Say hello to the Orange Pincher you pizza and pasta slurping motherfuckers!
Bobby Bubblebutt: You wanna piece of us!
Mafia Members #1 and #2: Yeah, go ahead! Get us! Get us!
Gina (as Orange Stinger): My pleasure!
Bobby Bubblebutt and his Mafia men were both overpowered in a the most horrific way possible. Gina punched Bobby Bubblebutt causing his head to fly off. Gina then takes one of the Mafia Members and throws him inside of the anus of the other. Bobby Bubblebutt and his Mafia members were defeated. Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon untie the Crawford family.
Kevin: Wow! You guys are so awesome! You did need a third person in your group. Maybe someday, a fourth?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): No No No No No! I don't think so.
Karen: How did you find out we were here?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We have our ways. A superhero never reveals their secrets.
Randall: I don't know what to say. At first I was pissed off at you guys.
Kevin: See Dad? I told you this town needs Superheroes.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): It's about time you knew something.
Bullet, Gina, and Dusty all take off their costumes.
Gina: It was us the whole time.
Karen: Dusty and Bullet?
Kevin: We know your identities now does this mean you're done.
Dusty: That's exactly what it means.
Karen: You two are the least I'd expect to be superheroes. You Gina are an expectation.
Gina: So you're the hot guy I had awesome sex with, hey?
Dusty: We can go another round anytime you want!
Gina: I like that!
Randall: You guys work for the Police! Why in the hell would you do this superhero bullshit?
Dusty: Because we wanted to be respected for once! You all rip on me for being fat....
Bullet: And you all emotionally shame me for my drug addiction!
Dusty: We did this so people will hold us in high regard!
Bullet: That's right. And for once people in this town thought highly of us! Until some force of nature made us fuck up!
Randall: Well, I guess I appreciate all what you did for this town in the past month.
Kevin: From now on we'll treat you like equals. Are we cool?
Dusty: OKay, we're in.
Bullet: No more fat or drug shaming?
Randall: (rolls eyes): If that hurt you little babies both so much, all right!
Gina: You're already superheroes Dusty and Bullet, you work for the Paradise PD!
Karen (to Randall): Hope he never finds out you tried to ruin him.
Dusty: WHAT?!
Randall: Oh nothing!
Kevin: Back to basics I guess.
Randall, Kevin, Bullet, Gina, and Dusty all went back to Paradise PD Headquarters. Karen went back to City Hall. Dusty and Bullet quit being the Obese Hormet and Wolfmoon for good.
Scene 13 Conclusion:
Robbie and Delbert were screaming and plugging their ears as they were hearing Choco,Van, and Marsha sing on top of their lungs. The Rocky Road commercial jingle was being sung over and over!
Marsha: Waking up to Rocky Road Makes Your Breakfast Sing!
Robbie: That's it! I've had enough of this shit! Who do they think we are? Manuel Noriega?
Delbert: Me too! Let's kick their asses!
Robbie and Delbert beat up Choco, Van, and they raped Marsha. Robbie and Delbert even resort to kill Choco and Van. Then before they knew it the Fun House crashes around them. Fitz and Brett DeMarco walk up to them.
Fitz: You broke our Fun House. What do you have to say for yourselves?
Robbie: So, are we good enough to get jobs here at Lovely Corp?
Brett DeMarco: NO! Not in the least!
Delbert: After all the shit you put us though we still can't can't job?
Robbie: You gotta understand! We need money for CRACK!
Fitz: You want crack, you got it!
Brett DeMarco brings out a pile of blocks of crack to Robbie and Delbert.
Robbie and Delbert: YYYYYEEESSSS!
Fitz: Kevin likes to think I have good in me. So, here's your crack! Don't ever come around Lovely Corp again!
Brett DeMarco: Now get the FUCK out of our sight!
Robbie and Delbert run off into the sunset with their crack.
Fitz: There was no way I was going to hire those Hicks! They'd fuck us up! Run us out of business!
Brett DeMarco: You made a wise choice.
Fitz: Remember what our motto is for this company.
Brett DeMarco: Yes I do!
Fitz: At Lovely Corp, We Only Hire Important People!
Brett DeMarco: Well said!
Fitz and Brett DeMarco go back inside Lovely Corp to plan more evil in the days ahead.
THE END
Paradise PD
Fanfic Title:
Obese Hornet
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
A black race car is driving down the streets of Paradise. Inside driving were Dusty Marlow and Bullet. They now had superhero alter egos known as Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon. Dusty was dressed in a purple overcoat, dark magenta mask, hat, cape, blackish purple slacks and brown boots. Bullet was dressed in a black cap, black mask, and sweatshirt.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): So, Wolfmoon! What conflicts are we going to solve tonight?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Your guess is as good as mine, Obese Hornet!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hey, we never named our race car, did we?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We can call it the Black Bandit!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): That's a cool name for it!
A buzzer goes off in their black race car.
Bullet(as Wolfmoon): Yes! We got something!
A police radio calls out.
Bullet:(as Wolfmoon): All right! A mission!
Police Radio: A robbery in progress at the local Sex Toy shop!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Let's floor it!
Driving the Black Bandit to the Sex Toy Shop, Dusty and Bullet arrive there before after the Paradise PD do. The people who were robbing the Sex Toy Shop were Anton and Unresigestered Earl. All the employees were in the surrender position!
Unreigestered Earl: You heard us! Empty your cash registers NOW!
Anton: And that includes the S&M Equipment!
The employees were taking their time giving their money and acessesories to Unregistered Earl and Anton, they get fed up!
Unregistered Earl: Hurry up! You're pissing us off!
Anton: Perhaps this will make you go faster! Hit it!
Night And Day By Fred Astaire plays. Anton sings and tap dances.
Anton (singing): Night And Day. You Are The One! Only You Beneath The Moon And Under The Sun....
Before Anton can continue with his song and dance. A crash is heard from both sides of the Sex Toy Shop. On one side, Dusty as the Obese Hornet with Bullet as Wolfmoon by his side, and on the other it was the Paradise PD. Camaro Bob witnesses the whole thing.
Camaro Bob: Glory be to the saints, baby! The Sex Toy Shop is saved!
Randall: Paradise PD!
Kevin: Your days of robbing Sex Toy Stores are over!
Stanley: Didn't that German fellow sing a song from The Gay Divorcee?
Gina: Unregistered Earl! We should've known. Anton? What the fuck?
Dusty (as the Obese Hornet): Step asides, fellas! We'll handle it from here!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): RRROOOOARRRRR! KARATE!
Dusty shoots his weapon called The Hornet Sting at Unregistered Earl and Anton until they were both buck naked. Bullet used 'karate' on them. Their testicles flew into their mouths as did their penises.
Unregistered Earl (muffled): I think I got the worst part of this!
Anton (muffled): We both got the bad end of the deal!
Randall, Stanley, Gina, and Kevin could not believe what they were seeing. Never in a million years did they think they would be upstaged by a superhero. Kevin was very impressed.
Stanley: Maybe this is that George Reeves fella.
Kevin: Wow. A Superhero in our own backyard! Please do tell us your name!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Why Obese Hornet is my name! Fighting crime is my game!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): and I'm Wolfmoon! I'm named such because I love the night!
Randall: Look, Obese Hornet. There's already a team of crimefighters here and that's us....
Gina begins to get aroused when the Obese Hornet comes to her. Randall is ignored.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Who might you be, m'lady?
Gina: Gina Jabowski!
The Obese Hornet gives Gina a rose and a piece of paper which causes Gina to get goosebumps.
Gina: OOooooooohhhh! Think I'm in love! (gets an orgasm and wets herself)
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): It was great to meet you Paradise PD people! Maybe we'll cross paths again one day!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We have other crimes to solve! Bye for now!
Stanley (sees Gina's wet orgasm): And people think I get wet down there!
Randall: Let's go back to police headquarters. We need to have a serious discussion about this.
Scene 2:
The Day After. At Paradise PD Headquarters. Randall wanted to speak out The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Randall: Ladies and gentlemen. I do not approve of this Obese Hornet asshole!
Kevin: Why Dad? I think he's really cool.
Randall: Because if he gets better than us at crimefighting. This could be the last of our class.
Gina: He seems to only come out at night, though.
Randall: Well, so do we, right? We're on call 24/7/365! We cannot let the Obese Hornet and that other asshole....
Stanley: Wolfman with Lon Cheney you mean?
Randall: Fuck off, Stanley! Anyway, like I was saying, Before he ruins us, we have to ruin him.
Kevin: How about instead, we have them work for us?
Gina: I'm with Kevin on this. Can we?
Randall: NO! NEVER!
Gina: Shit!
Randall: All right, Kevin. You love this Obese Hornet fucker so much! You track him down.
Kevin: I sure will.
Randall: And be sure to find out who the fuck he is and where he came from!
Gina looks at the rose and the paper that was given to her by the Obese Hornet. With a sly smile on her face.
Kevin: Happy to do it! Whenever it comes to superheroes! I'm ready!
That very afternoon, Karen Crawford was in her office. The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon were there.
Karen: So far you both have done such outstanding service for our community!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Why thank you, Mrs. Mayor.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We are exactly what this town needs.
Karen: Agreed. My husband can learn a thing or two from you guys!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We ran into those Paradise PD guys last night. Talk about incompetant!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Yeah they couldn't solve crimes to save their lives!
Karen: Thank you for stopping by! In the meantime I'll have to hire a new assistant. Anton vanished for some reason!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Let's go to our secret hideout!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Where nobody knows where it is but us!
Dusty and Bullet get into their car The Black Bandit and drive off. Kevin follows them in a police car.
Kevin: All right, Obese Hornet. Let's see who you really are. Or if you need a third sidekick!
Scene 3:
The Black Bandit drove into the woods and near a cave. Miles away, Kevin followed them and tried to stay out of range. Dusty and Bullet were about to take off their Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon disguises.
Bullet: We kick ass as these Superheroes!
Dusty: More important, we get respect!
Bullet: I got so sick and tired of the Paradise PD slamming us all the time. Me for my drug addiction! You for your obesity!
Dusty: You're telling me. This is the most fun I've ever had with you, Bullet!
Bullet: We'll make it last!
Dusty: Only one thing though.
Bullet: What could that be?
Dusty: Seems like we only solve small crimes. We need something big!
Bullet: Agree with that. A crime so huge we'll be the best Superheroes in the state of Georgia! But first, let's check out our laboratory!
Dusty: Best thing about this is, nobody knows who we really are!
Bullet: Even Randall, Kevin, Gina, and Stanley didn't recognize us!
Inside the cave there was a laboratory. Kevin sneaks inside.
Dusty: These potions and machinery is where we get all our powers and weapons from.
Bullet: Always knew you were a crafty guy!
Kevin (thinks to himself): Why aren't they taking off their costumes?
Dusty downs some potion while Bullet reloads the Hornet Sting. Kevin bumps into a wall which attracts attention to Dusty and Bullet.
Bullet: Assassin!
Kevin: No wait! I'm Kevin Crawford from the Paradise PD!
Dusty: What are you doing here in our secret lair?
Kevin: My Dad the police chief sent me.
Bullet: For what?
Kevin: He wanted me to find out who you both are and....
Dusty: Not going to happen.
Bullet: Get out! You have no right to be in here!
Kevin: Before you kick me out. Would you guys consider having a third guy on your team! Or perhaps team up with us cops?
Dusty: Not an option! We're a duo!
Bullet: We don't work for the police. We work alone!
Kevin (sighs): Come on, give me a chance! I bet I can just as good a superhero as you two! Maybe being a trio would work better and....
Bullet was showing Kevin and door.
Dusty: Guess you didn't hear us! We work as a duo! We're not looking for a third person to join us! If ever!
Kevin: Please! I love Superheroes! Always wanted to be one! Make me one! I won't be any trouble! I won't tell anyone!
Dusty and Bullet kick Kevin out of the cave. Dusty throws a CD Player at Kevin.
Bullet: And stay out!
Dusty: While you're at it! Listen to this sad Henry Mancini music!
The CD Player plays a mellow tune while Kevin wallows in grief walking back to the police car.
Dusty: Clean the lab. I'm going into my room for a minute.
Bullet: I will.
Going into his room, still in his Obese Hornet costume. Gina crawls out from under Dusty's bed.
Gina: Did that twat waffle leave?
Dusty: He's gone. He wanted to be one of us.
Gina: Yeah that's Kevin all right. Always wanting what he can't have.
Dusty: So, would you like a romantic candlelit dinner and some hot sex with the Obese Hornet!
Gina: Take me! Make my body sing!
When Dusty as the Obese Hornet has sex with Gina. Kevin drives back to Paradise PD Headquarters.
Randall: Kevin! What did you find out about the Obese Hornet!
Kevin: I was able to get to their lair but got kicked out before I can find out anything!
Randall: Son of a bitch!
Kevin: I tried to persuade him to make me a superhero and....
Randall: That's it! This Obese Hornet son of a bitch has got to GO! (pounds fist on his desk)
Scene 4:
At the crackhouse of Robbie and Delbert. They frantically look around for some crack which appears to be all gone.
Robbie: Goddammit Delbert! Where the hell has all the crack gone?
Delbert: I think we used most of it last week to put in those Girl Scout cookies!
Robbie: Yeah, that's right, we did.
Still searching for any trace of crack, Robbie and Delbert come up short!
Delbert: Motherfucker! Looks like we used all of it!
Robbie: Crack doesn't come cheap you know.
Delbert: What'll we gonna do?
Robbie: I know! I'll call my Dad and see if he can give up some dough!
Going to the phone, Robbie calls his Dad Wendell.
Wendell: Hello son?
Robbie (faux sobs over phone): Dad....Dad it's me! (sobs) Me and Delbert ran out of crack again Dad!
Wendell (over phone): Now you listen to me son! You cannot keep calling me anytime you get a tiny predicament in your little fantasy world! You need to stand up and start being a man....
Robbie slams the phone in anger. Delbert then sees Lovely Corp from their window.
Delbert: Hey, Robbie. Maybe we can get some good paying jobs at the Lovely Corp place.
Robbie: Guess you're right. If it's the only way we can get crack again.....
Walking over to Lovely Corp, Robbie and Delbert are meet with Gerald Fitzgerald and Brett DeMarco.
Fitz: Well, well, well. Look at what the cat dragged in.
Brett DeMarco: Two worthless pathetic hick slackers who want to make money, am I right?
Robbie: We just want some jobs here.
Delbert: Until we're able to afford more crack.
Fitz: Sure, come this way, gentlemen.
Brett DeMarco and Fitz lead Robbie and Delbert to a structure that looked like a fun house.
Robbie: Is this where we're going to work?
Fitz: Uhh, not exactly.
Delbert: We came here for a job! Give us a fucking job already!
Fitz: We will in time. But first you both need to step inside this house.
Robbie: Why do we have to do that?
Brett DeMarco: Want to work for Lovely Corp? You need to prove yourselves worthy of working at our fine corporate organization!
Robbie and Delbert are hesitant and confused on all levels.
Fitz: Don't just stand there, GO IN! (pushes Robbie)
Brett DeMarco: You're not going to find out if you're good enough to work here, so IN you go! (kicks Delbert)
Robbie and Delbert look around their surroundings. Fitz and Brett DeMarco go back into their office and watch Robbie and Delbert in the house in which they were now imprisoned.
Brett DeMarco (laughs): We should've left them at a forest in Hawaii like Brian Wilson!
Fitz: Nah, this is much better! While everyone else is away, and Zeta is in school. Fitz and Brett will play.
Brett DeMarco: What do you plan to do with this Fun House?
Robbie and Delbert walk around the house.
Delbert: What the hell is this, that place in The Grudge.
Robbie: Hmmm, not sure how trapping us in here is going to make us better people for a job.
Delbert sees a claymated kid forming in front of them. The kid turned into Roland from The Fruit Wrinkles commercial.
Roland: Hi, I'm Roland! What makes Fruit Wrinkles so chewy and soft?
Robbie and Delbert scream and run away. Roland chases after them.
Roland: Come on, you guys! Have some Fruit Wrinkles with me!
Scene 5:
Another mission comes along for The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hey, Bullet, I mean Wolfmoon! Are you ready to kick some criminal dick tonight!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon) Correct as usual Dusty, I mean Obese Hornet!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): You know we need a theme song. Got any ideas?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Fleetwood Mac's Go Your Own Way comes to mind.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Nah, it's gotta be more hard core!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): I thought of one! Alexa! Play Hard Fi Suburban Knights!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): That's a good one! (speeds up the Black Bandit) And here we goooooo.......
Hard Fi's Suburban Knights plays.
As the month passes on. Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon become an overnight crime fighting sensation. Solving every crime in the town of Paradise. Karen wanted to nominate them for a Lifetime Achievment Award. Every day they were on the front page news on the newspaper. Randall comes in to Police Headquarters feeling very resentful. Stanley, Gina, and Kevin were waiting his arrival in the conference room.
Kevin: Anyone seen Dusty and Bullet? Wonder how they would feel about the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon?
Gina: Oh, I know. Dusty and Bullet joined Strawberry Action Squad so Dusty can reconnect with his 'Diddy' or something like that. (thinks to herself) He gives the best sex ever!
Stanley: Oh look, J. Scott Smart's here!
Randall: It's police Chief Randall you fucking nimrod!
Kevin: DAD! Why are you so bitter today!
Randall: It's because of these superheroes running around! They're going to put us out of business!
Gina: Also heard your wife wants to present them with an award.
Randall: Well they don't deserve it! We're the ones who should be solving cases and get all the credit!
Kevin: I agree with that Dad, but I think it would be even better and more cool if we worked with them!
Randall: Still can't get over that fairy tale, can you Kevin!
Stanley: It's like having Dick Purcell in our own backyard.
Gina: What I don't get is, how does that Wolfmoon such an expert in martial arts?
Kevin: He's like Air Bud if he knew karate.
Randall: Instead of sitting around and talking about them, how about we check out these newspapers!
Getting out a stack of newspapers, Randall goes though them and shows the headlines to Kevin, Gina, and Stanley.
Randall (reading from newspapers): Obese Hornet Strikes Again! Obese Hornet finds missing jewels, Obese Hornet stops a riot, Obese Hornet joins Black Lives Matter, Obese Hornet stops a money heist at 5th National Paradise Bank!
Kevin: You want to stop this guy, don't you Dad.
Randall: Before he hogs up anymore glory then yes.
Gina: You're on your own there. I don't want to help stop a superhero. (thinks to herself): Esepcially one as sexy as him!
Randall: Fine! Say I got it. But you'll all have to help me or else you're all fired and have to stand in bread lines!
Kevin: Okay!
Gina: Not that we have a choice.
Stanley: What do you have in mind?
Kevin, Gina, and Stanley watch Randall as he goes to a police radio and hacks into it and gains access to The Obese Hornet's police radio.
Randall: Calling all cars! Calling all cars! There's a tree fire in a residential area.
Gina: But there are no reports of fires....
Randall: Just trust me on this one. I know what I'm doing!
Nobody in Paradise knew that Dusty and Bullet were The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Scene 6:
In their car The Black Bandit, Dusty as the Obese Hornet gets the call from the police radio unaware that it was Randall on the other end.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Did you hear that, Obese Hornet?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Of course I did! We're going to have to put out a fire!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Floor it!
Speeding up to the residential area where the supposed fire was, Dusty and Bullet stop their Black Bandit car and find out there was no fire at all.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): What the fuck? Where's this fire we were promised? I was expecting a Backdraft situation!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): I know right? Where are the arsonists! With my karate skills I was going to become like Wesley Snipes in Blade!
A little girl rans out to meet the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hey there little girl? Is there a fire around here?
Little Girl: Fire? No.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Obviously you need our help. What's the matter?
Little Girl: (sobs) I'm glad you guys came.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): No need for waterworks, kid. Tell us what happened.
Little Girl: My kitty is stuck in the tree and she won't get down. (cries)
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Consider it done. I guess.
Bullet and Dusty try to climb the tall tree to get the cat. Bullet was able to get the cat but because of Dusty's obeseness the tree started to fall over. Bullet throws the cat back to the girl.
Little Girl: Thank you, guys!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Ohhhhh, This is why I hate climbing trees.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We'll go down the same way we came up!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Okay.
The tree Dusty and Bullet swung back and forth like a pendulum. Finally because of the distribution of Dusty's weight the tree falls off and lands on Goopy Goobers. Picking themselves up after their fall, Dusty and Bullet see the Goopy Goobers destroyed and a group of people laughing at them.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Oh no! Goopy Goobers! My All time favorite restuarant!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): All those people are laughing at us! But why? And how?
Scene 7:
Fitz and Brett DeMarco were watching through their laptop, Robbie and Delbert in a living hell in the 'Fun House'. Still being chased by Roland.
Robbie: Get the fuck away from us you claymated sumbitch!
Delbert: We don't give a rats ass about your Fruit Wrinkles!
Roland (chases Robbie and Delbert with a knife): This time it'll cost you!
Robbie: Holy fuck! He's got a knife!
Delbert: If we don't get away from him, we'll end up like Swiss cheese!
Fitz (laughs evilly): I get a pleasure out of watching rednecks suffer! Anyway, I think they've had enough of Roland for now.
Brett DeMarco: Who are you going to bring out, next?
Fitz: Hows about some Fruit Drinks!
Brett DeMarco pushes a button, and Fitz continues to watch. In the Fun House, Roland gets squashed by the Kool Aid Man.
Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH!
Robbie: Kool-Aid Man! Thank God!
Kool-Aid Man: I knew that low down mother fucker Roland was going to kill you. Come on, follow me I'll lead you to safety!
Delbert: Where are you taking us?
The Kool-Aid Man leads Robbie and Delbert into a room. Once the rednecks went inside. A bunch of school children who were acting like they lived in the 1950's came to sing.
School Kids (singing): bum bummity Doo bummity bee! Hi-C! You Taste So Wonderfully.....Wonderfully! And All That Vitamin C....
Robbie: OKay......their point? I'm no fan of 1950's be-bop!
Delbert: Oh come on, Robbie! It's not all that bad!
Robbie and Delbert decide to join the school kids in and Hi-C dance. However the school kids began to morph into Hi-C juice boxes and squirt enough Hi-C to fill up the room thus trying to drown Robbie and Delbert. Fitz and Brett DeMarco crack up.
Fitz: They're lucky we didn't use Ecko Cooler! (laughs)
Brett DeMarco: If they drown they'll be buried at C! Or should I say, Buried at Hi-C!
Fitz and Brett DeMarco continue to laugh seeing Robbie and Delbert almost drown in Hi-C!
Robbie: Kool-Aid Man! Help us!
Delbert: You saved are asses and then you disappeared!
The Kool-Aid Man was sitting on a lounge chair reading a newspaper ignoring Robbie and Delbert.
Scene 8:
Dusty and Bullet still in their Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon personas. Pick themselves up after falling from the tall tree getting the girls' cat earlier. The crowd that was laughing at them left.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Guess that was for nothing.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet); You're telling me.
Back at Police Headquarters, Randall was still playing around with the police radio to give 'missions' to the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Gina: SO, what happened to the Obese Hornet?
Randall: It was a false alarm Gina. What I aim to do is have this Obese Hornet asshole think there's a crime going on, when their really isn't!
Kevin: Oh, come on Dad! Don't you think you're going about this too extreme? Remember what Mom said about jealousy. It's a green eyed monster.
Randall: On the plus side, people are already laughing at him! We Paradise PD will be back on top as the best crime fighters in town! No need for fucking ass superheroes!
Stanley: I know a green eyed monster! Some fella from Japan named Rodan!
Randall: All right everyone! Shut the fuck up!
Talking into the police radio once more. Randall gives out a 'crime' for the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon to do.
Randall (into the police radio): Calling all cars! Calling all cars! There's a speedboat running away with huge kegs of cocaine at Paradise Harbor.
Back at the residential area, Dusty and Bullet hear the 'report.'
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Did you hear that, Wolfmoon! Some cocaine dealers are getting away on a speed boat.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Yes! We're in luck. A real crime!
The black bandit speeds off to the harbor. Dusty and Bullet arrive at Paradise Harbor and see a speedboat sail away in fast speeds.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Look Obese Hornet! That police report was right this time!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): If the first amendment doesn't work, the second amendment will!
Taking out his 'Hornet Sting'. Dusty shoots at the departing speedboat and it explodes! The people at Paradise Harbor see the whole thing and stare like they didn't know what to think.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Yes! Yes! We did it! We did it!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): All those people were are proud of us. (to the crowd) no worries! Those cocaine smugglers are as good as gone!
Much to their dismay, the people on the speedboat turned out to be a vacationing family with kids.
The Father: You fucking assholes! Don't you know how much this boat costed me?
The Mother: All we wanted was a fun peaceful vacation!
The Father: You scarred our kids for life you motherfuckers!
The people in the harbor begin to boo and hiss at the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hey? Why are you mad at us?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): You should be thankful for everything we're doing!
Just then, Karen Crawford along with a team of news anchors come to the Paradise Harbor to confront the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Karen: What the FUCK did you just do?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Killed some cocaine smugglers?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We heard word on our radio about it. We hadn't a clue they were a vacationing family!
Karen: If you guys fuck up one more time, you can forget about that Lifetime Achievement Award! Then you'll both be banned from town! And that's a promise!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): What'll happen to us then?
Karen: Permanent retirement for you two, that's what!
Watching the whole thing unfold on the local news. Randall, Kevin, Stanley, and Gina see the Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon about to become obsolete.
Randall: This is greatest day of my life! My plan is working! Just one more 'crime'.
Kevin gets out of the room.
Gina: Kevin? Where are you going?
Kevin: To find a crime! (to himself): This is my chance to actually help the Obese Hornet. I like the Obese Hornet! When I get done he'll be so thankful!
Scene 9:
When the local news and Karen left the Paradise PD. Dusty and Bullet were beside themselves.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We've been on such a good luck streak with this superhero thing. What happened?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): If you ask me someone is trying to set us up.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Could be but who?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): No time to think about that right now. We need to find a crime. A "real crime" mind you.....no fake fires or blowing up vacationing families.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): I know. A crime is not going to just appear in front of us. We need to do something to take back our good name.
Running down the streets of Paradise. Kevin runs past a new Levi's Store that opened recently.
Kevin: There's gotta be a crime around here somewhere! If I find one, The Obese Hornet will be so impressed. He'll recruit me, then I'll be the third dude in their crime fighting duo! We might even become, "The Terrific Trio!"
Laughter is heard from under the basement in the Levi's Store.
Kevin: Better go investigate.
Spying on clamour going on the basement of the Levi's Store. Kevin sees the Mafia. Their leader and don is Bobby Bubblebutt!
Bobby Bubblebutt: Tonight! We are going to pull off the biggest heist ever! We will steal all the blue jeans, grind them up and turn them into weapons, drugs, and alcohol!
Mafia Members: AAAAAYYYYYY!
Kevin (gasps): A Jean heist! Oh boy! The Obese Hornet will be so proud!
As he was going to run away, Kevin runs into a lamppost and bumps himself. The 'ding' sound was loud enough for Bobby Bubblebutt to hear.
Bobby Bubblebutt: What the fuck was that tumbling click? Go find out.
Kevin: Son of a bitch! Who I am? Martin Short in Three Fugitives?
Running off to try to find the Obese Hornet, Kevin runs down the streets. What he doesn't know is Bobby Bubblebutt's henchmen were watching him.
Scene 10:
Still drowning in the Hi-C. Robbie and Delbert try to swim to the surface.
Robbie: Remind me to never drink Hi-C again, Delbert!
Delbert: Deal, Robbie!
Fitz and Brett DeMarco are glued to their laptop watching Robbie and Delbert suffer. Fitz pushes a button.
Brett DeMarco: Who are you going to get after them now?
Fitz: Things are about to get very 'cer-real' for them! So to speak! (laughs)
A cowboy looking character lassos Robbie and Delbert out of the Hi-C and throws them in another room.
Robbie: Thanks for saving our asses back there, Mr. Cowboy!
Cowboy: Yeee Doggies! My name is OJ Joe!
Delbert: Okay Joe?
OJ Joe: No, OJ!
Robbie: Any relation to OJ Simpson?
OJ Joe: No I'm a cereal mascot for the Kellogs OJ's commercial!
Delbert: You gonna get us the fuck outta here!
OJ Joe: Of course I will! Move 'em out!
A whole bunch of oranges roll their way, OJ Joe, Robbie and Delbert were all riding on them. Robbie and Delbert were scared.
Robbie: ! I've never ridden on oranges before! I'm gonna lose my fucking balance!
Delbert: Don't you have horses, instead?
OJ Joe: Nope. YEEE HAAAWW!!!
The oranges leave Robbie and Delbert in another room. The room looks like an ice cream parlor.
Fitz: Wait until you see who's in store for our guests!
Brett DeMarco: I think I know who!
Robbie: A bakery? How is this supposed to prove we're worthy of working at Lovely Corp?
Delbert: What're gonna do now, make fucking Italian Ice, or something?
A door opens and the 3 commercial mascots for Rocky Road Cereal dance up to Robbie and Delbert. Fitz speaks though the laptop microphone.
Fitz: Introducing Rocky Road! Starring Choco!
Choco: TA DA!
Fitz: Van!
Van strums his guitar.
Fitz: And introducing Marsha! Hit it!
Choco, Van, and Marsha all dance and sing around Robbie and Delbert. They automatically hate their music.
Marsha (singing): Choco Chocolately puff makes my heart sing.....
Robbie and Delbert: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Scene 10:
The Black Bandit drives down the streets of Paradise. Dusty was still sporting his Obese Horner Persona as was Bullet with his Wolfmoon persona.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): There's gotta be a crime around here somewhere.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Paradise has more crime than any other small town in America!
Kevin sees the Black Bandit and gives them a signal to stop.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Oh no! Not Kevin again!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): He's going to want to join us I'd take it.
Stopping the Black Bandit, Dusty and Bullet walk out to meet Kevin.
Kevin: Obese Hornet! Thank God you're here.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): OKay, I haven't got all day. Make it snappy!
Kevin: I was taking a walk and went past the Levi's Store.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Let me take a gander here, some blue jeans came to life and want to plot world domination! (laughs)
Kevin: Please! This isn't a joke! I'm trying to be serious here!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): All right. Exactly what did you see? Oh and by the way, we're still NOT going to make you join us!
Kevin: Okay, understood. The Italian Mafia has a hideout underneath the store, and they're planning something big! I'll lead you to where they are.....
A van was racing down the street. It stopped for a minute and picked up Kevin and kidnapped him by throwing him into the van. The van sped down the street.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Kevin's been kidnapped!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): It's our job as superheroes to save him!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet); We have to follow that van!
Jumping into the Black Bandit. Bullet and Dusty try to pinpoint where the van was going. However, the van disappeared from their sight.
Scene 12:
Inside the van, Kevin found himself surrounded by Bobby Bubblebutt and his Mafia gang.
Kevin: You kidnapped me!
Bobby Bubblebutt: You were spying on us! Of course we had to!
Kevin: Don't hold me for ransom. My family isn't exactly rich!
Mafia Member #1: You have a family?
Mafia Member #2: Where can we find them?
Bobby Bubblebutt: And tell the truth!
Kevin: You got me! My Dad is the police Chief of the Paradise PD, and my Mom is the mayor of the town!
Bobby Bubblebutt: Thank you for your cooperation! We'll kidnap them too!
Mafia Members #1 and #2: AAAAAAAYYYYYYY !
The van drives towards the Paradise PD Headquarters. Soon afterward, Randall was kidnapped. Their next stop was City Hall, they kidnap Karen too. The local news comes on and interupts the scheduled programming!
TV: We interupt this episode of The Neighborhood to bring you a Local News Bulletin!
Kurt Connors: Thank you, good evening. The Crawford family. Randall, the police Chief, Karen, and mayor along with their son Kevin have all been kidnapped by an unknown source. We'll stay on top of this story every hour and keep you posted. We Now Join Our Regularly Scheduled Program The Neighborhood Already in Progress. And stayed tuned for an all new Bob Hearts Abishola!
Dusty and Bullet were watching the news in their cave.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): If we rescue the Crawford family, everyone in town will love us again!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Precisely old chum! We won't be a laughingstock anymore!
Bullet: Then our rep can be restored and we won't be treated by the town the same way the Paradise PD treats us! Now how can we track down Randall's and Kevin's whereabouts?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Elementary my dear Wolfmoon! We'll use our state of the art equipment to find out who and why this happened!
Going into their lab, Dusty and Bullet turn on a whole bunch of TV Screens that had access to every place on Paradise. On one of the screens, they see Randall, Kevin, and Karen all tied to chairs being terrorized by Bobby Bubblebutt.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): I know where that is!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): They're at an attic underneath the Bowling Alley.
When Bullet and Dusty were about to head out to rescue Randall, Kevin, and Karen. They realize they need some extra help.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Want to know something? Maybe we do need a third person on our side.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): I thought the same thing. Question is, but who? Not Stanley!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Nah, he's too old and decrepted! I got it! We can get Gina to help us!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Awesome! We'll make her a superhero too!
Dusty goes to call Gina.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Where are you going?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): To call Gina, where else?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): You fucked her. And she's attracted to fat guys so she'll love hang out with you I'm sure!
Scene 11:
Dusty and Bullet drive in the Black Bandit to Gina's house. They pull up in her driveway and ring her doorbell.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Come on, please let her be there!
Gina answers the door and was surprised to see Dusty and Bullet in their Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon personas.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Gina! We need your help!
Gina: Did you come back for sloppy seconds? Just for the record, I took a morning after pill after we did it.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): No it's nothing like that! Kevin's been kidnapped!
Gina: I bet he tried to help you find a crime. He mentioned something about that earlier.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): That he did. Now we can use a third person in our duo. Are you willing to join us?
Gina: Sure I will. What do I have to do?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We'll conjure up a costume for you! Since I'm being an insect superhero, you will be too!
Gina: OKay, deal!
Dusty and Bullet come inside Gina's house to dress her up like a superhero.
Scene 12:
Underneath the bowling alley, Bobby Bubblebutt and his Mafia cohorts were holding Kevin, Randall, and Karen.
Bobby Bubblebutt: Look at all of you! All tied up nice and cozy! What a cute little family you are!
Mafia Members #1 and #2: AAAAAAYYYYY!
Randall: Cute! I'll show you how cute I am!
Karen: Randall! Don't try anything!
Kevin: They got guns pointed at us!
Randall: Yeah, and who's fault was THAT? Why did you kidnap us? You can have Kevin, but not me!
Karen: Oooh! You really love us don't you?
Bobby Bubblebutt: SHUT UP! Your stupid ass son here thinks he's James Bond was spying on us when we were planning a blue jeans heist! Then he went and told that Obese Hornet fuckface all about us.
Kevin: Say anything you want about the Obese Hornet! I like him! He's the best thing that's ever happened in this town. I was trying to encourage him to take you all down so the town will love him again. After _DAD_ tried to make him a pariah...
Karen: Randall! How could you! Making a superhero out to be some buffoon so you can...
Bobby Bubblebutt: Silenzio!
Randall: Sheesh! That word sounds fucking stupid in Italian!
Bobby Bubblebutt: Because of what your son did, me and my Mafia gang will have you deported...to the bottom of the Indian Ocean!
Randall: You wouldn't dare!
Karen: Making us the sacrificial lambs so you can go about your heist.
Bobby Bubblebutt: First you all will go inside these cages and....
The other mafia members brought out some cages that looked big enough to put a human inside. A car was speeding towards the bowling alley and crashes from the outside with use of the Hornet Sting. The car turned out to be The Black Bandit. Dusty and Bullet come out of the Black Bandit.
Kevin: The Obese Hornet! He's here!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Hornet Sting, Bitches! Works Every Time!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): I was going to say that!
Bobby Bubblebutt: The fuck! Shoot that car now!
The other Mafia members and Bobby Bubblebutt shot at the Black Bandit. The car proved to be bulletproof. Out come The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): Your days are numbered you cum sucking Vincent Pastore looking mother fuckers!
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): Don't worry, you'll get to be near blue jeans soon. When you wear them day in and day out in prison!
Bobby Bubblebutt: AFTER THEM!
The Mafia members and Bobby Bubblebutt charge at The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon. Kevin was cheering them on.
Kevin: Kick some ass! Kick some ass!
The Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon put up a good fight with karate and body slams, however Bobby Bubblebutt was able to overpower both of them. Which pleased Randall.
Randall: See? I told you that Obese Hornet was a piece of shit! Look how worthless he is.
Karen: I just can't believe you have the nerve......
Kevin: Oh no. Come on, Obese Hornet! You can do it! Untie us and save us all!
Randall: Maybe I'll Untie myself and I'll take credit for this!
Bobby Bubblebutt: What do you have to say for yourself now, Obese Hornet.
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We're not beaten yet!
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): We have a secret weapon.
Crashing into the windows of the bowling alley basement. A woman breaks in dressed as an Orange Texas Asp. It was really Gina Jabowski in disguise and she too has a superhero persona called The Orange Pincher.
Gina (as Orange Pincher): Say hello to the Orange Pincher you pizza and pasta slurping motherfuckers!
Bobby Bubblebutt: You wanna piece of us!
Mafia Members #1 and #2: Yeah, go ahead! Get us! Get us!
Gina (as Orange Stinger): My pleasure!
Bobby Bubblebutt and his Mafia men were both overpowered in a the most horrific way possible. Gina punched Bobby Bubblebutt causing his head to fly off. Gina then takes one of the Mafia Members and throws him inside of the anus of the other. Bobby Bubblebutt and his Mafia members were defeated. Obese Hornet and Wolfmoon untie the Crawford family.
Kevin: Wow! You guys are so awesome! You did need a third person in your group. Maybe someday, a fourth?
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): No No No No No! I don't think so.
Karen: How did you find out we were here?
Bullet (as Wolfmoon): We have our ways. A superhero never reveals their secrets.
Randall: I don't know what to say. At first I was pissed off at you guys.
Kevin: See Dad? I told you this town needs Superheroes.
Dusty (as Obese Hornet): It's about time you knew something.
Bullet, Gina, and Dusty all take off their costumes.
Gina: It was us the whole time.
Karen: Dusty and Bullet?
Kevin: We know your identities now does this mean you're done.
Dusty: That's exactly what it means.
Karen: You two are the least I'd expect to be superheroes. You Gina are an expectation.
Gina: So you're the hot guy I had awesome sex with, hey?
Dusty: We can go another round anytime you want!
Gina: I like that!
Randall: You guys work for the Police! Why in the hell would you do this superhero bullshit?
Dusty: Because we wanted to be respected for once! You all rip on me for being fat....
Bullet: And you all emotionally shame me for my drug addiction!
Dusty: We did this so people will hold us in high regard!
Bullet: That's right. And for once people in this town thought highly of us! Until some force of nature made us fuck up!
Randall: Well, I guess I appreciate all what you did for this town in the past month.
Kevin: From now on we'll treat you like equals. Are we cool?
Dusty: OKay, we're in.
Bullet: No more fat or drug shaming?
Randall: (rolls eyes): If that hurt you little babies both so much, all right!
Gina: You're already superheroes Dusty and Bullet, you work for the Paradise PD!
Karen (to Randall): Hope he never finds out you tried to ruin him.
Dusty: WHAT?!
Randall: Oh nothing!
Kevin: Back to basics I guess.
Randall, Kevin, Bullet, Gina, and Dusty all went back to Paradise PD Headquarters. Karen went back to City Hall. Dusty and Bullet quit being the Obese Hormet and Wolfmoon for good.
Scene 13 Conclusion:
Robbie and Delbert were screaming and plugging their ears as they were hearing Choco,Van, and Marsha sing on top of their lungs. The Rocky Road commercial jingle was being sung over and over!
Marsha: Waking up to Rocky Road Makes Your Breakfast Sing!
Robbie: That's it! I've had enough of this shit! Who do they think we are? Manuel Noriega?
Delbert: Me too! Let's kick their asses!
Robbie and Delbert beat up Choco, Van, and they raped Marsha. Robbie and Delbert even resort to kill Choco and Van. Then before they knew it the Fun House crashes around them. Fitz and Brett DeMarco walk up to them.
Fitz: You broke our Fun House. What do you have to say for yourselves?
Robbie: So, are we good enough to get jobs here at Lovely Corp?
Brett DeMarco: NO! Not in the least!
Delbert: After all the shit you put us though we still can't can't job?
Robbie: You gotta understand! We need money for CRACK!
Fitz: You want crack, you got it!
Brett DeMarco brings out a pile of blocks of crack to Robbie and Delbert.
Robbie and Delbert: YYYYYEEESSSS!
Fitz: Kevin likes to think I have good in me. So, here's your crack! Don't ever come around Lovely Corp again!
Brett DeMarco: Now get the FUCK out of our sight!
Robbie and Delbert run off into the sunset with their crack.
Fitz: There was no way I was going to hire those Hicks! They'd fuck us up! Run us out of business!
Brett DeMarco: You made a wise choice.
Fitz: Remember what our motto is for this company.
Brett DeMarco: Yes I do!
Fitz: At Lovely Corp, We Only Hire Important People!
Brett DeMarco: Well said!
Fitz and Brett DeMarco go back inside Lovely Corp to plan more evil in the days ahead.
THE END
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