Categories > Cartoons > Family Guy
An idea my brother gave me. This will be short.
Family Guy
Fanfic Title:
Roach Rampage
by: Hailey Sands
The Griffin family room is cluttered with furniture, toys, and random objects. Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris and Brian the dog are all present. There was a window latch open that someone forget to close it. Ernie The Chicken sets a roach free in the Griffin house.
Ernie The Chicken: Wreck havoc my pet!
Peter: (scratching his head) “Lois, did you leave the window open again? There’s a giant roach in here!”
Lois: (frustrated) “Peter, I told you to fix that window latch! Now we’ve got a roach infestation!”
Chris: (looking terrified) “Mom, it’s huge! Like, Godzilla-sized!”
Brian: (sniffing the air) “I smell it too. It’s like a mix of old pizza and desperation.”
Stewie: (entering with a tiny device in hand) “Fear not, my imbecilic family! Stewie Griffin, genius extraordinaire, has a solution.”
Peter: Stewie, what the hell is that thing?
Stewie: “This, my dear father, is my latest invention: the AI Roach Terminator Chip. It’s designed to track down and eliminate pests with ruthless efficiency.”
Meg: (sarcastic) Great, Stewie. Because what this family needs is more chaos.
The roach tongue kisses Meg who screams.
Stewie: Quiet, Meg! Now, who’s ready for a demonstration?
Ernie The Chicken (watching): Shit should've gotten Peter! Oh well.
Quagmire: (bursting in) “Giggity! Did someone say ‘energy pill’?”
Stewie: “Oh, dear Lord. Quagmire, that’s not an energy pill. It’s the AI chip!”
Ernie The Chicken (watching): WWHHAATTT! AI CHIP? WHAT IS THIS UNHOLY BULLSHIT?
Quagmire: “AI? Sounds kinky! Let’s do this!”
Stewie: “Fine. Insert the chip into your brain, and it’ll enhance your cognitive abilities.”
Quagmire: (swallowing the chip) “Giggity goo!”
The roach scurries across the kitchen floor. The Griffins follow, armed with brooms, shoes, and rolled-up newspapers.
Lois: “Peter, kill it!”
Peter: (swinging a broom) “Die, you little bugger!”
Brian: Bugger? What are you, British?
Peter: No, Canadian.
Brian: Whatever! We have no time for this!
Stewie: “Wait! Quagmire, activate the chip!”
Quagmire: (eyes glowing) “I feel… smarter. And hornier.”
Stewie: “Focus, Quagmire! The roach!”
Quagmire: “Right! Giggity!”
Ernie the Chicken watches with anger as Quagmire’s eyes lock onto the roach. The AI chip processes data at lightning speed.
Quagmire: “Roach identified. Calculating optimal trajectory.”
Jumping into the air, Matrix-style, Quagmire lands on the roach, squashing it.
Ernie The Chicken: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! GUESS THIS WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!
Quagmire: “Giggity victory!”
Stewie: “Impressive! But Quagmire, you just solved world hunger. And invented a new dance move.”
Quagmire: “Giggity! I call it the ‘Roach Tango.’”
Lois: “Well, crisis averted. Thanks, Stewie.”
Stewie: “No problem. And Quagmire, next time, read the damn label!”
Quagmire winks, and the room erupts in laughter. Ernie The Chicken screams at the sky!
Ernie The Chicken: I will get you one day, Peter Griffin!!!!!
THE END.
Family Guy
Fanfic Title:
Roach Rampage
by: Hailey Sands
The Griffin family room is cluttered with furniture, toys, and random objects. Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris and Brian the dog are all present. There was a window latch open that someone forget to close it. Ernie The Chicken sets a roach free in the Griffin house.
Ernie The Chicken: Wreck havoc my pet!
Peter: (scratching his head) “Lois, did you leave the window open again? There’s a giant roach in here!”
Lois: (frustrated) “Peter, I told you to fix that window latch! Now we’ve got a roach infestation!”
Chris: (looking terrified) “Mom, it’s huge! Like, Godzilla-sized!”
Brian: (sniffing the air) “I smell it too. It’s like a mix of old pizza and desperation.”
Stewie: (entering with a tiny device in hand) “Fear not, my imbecilic family! Stewie Griffin, genius extraordinaire, has a solution.”
Peter: Stewie, what the hell is that thing?
Stewie: “This, my dear father, is my latest invention: the AI Roach Terminator Chip. It’s designed to track down and eliminate pests with ruthless efficiency.”
Meg: (sarcastic) Great, Stewie. Because what this family needs is more chaos.
The roach tongue kisses Meg who screams.
Stewie: Quiet, Meg! Now, who’s ready for a demonstration?
Ernie The Chicken (watching): Shit should've gotten Peter! Oh well.
Quagmire: (bursting in) “Giggity! Did someone say ‘energy pill’?”
Stewie: “Oh, dear Lord. Quagmire, that’s not an energy pill. It’s the AI chip!”
Ernie The Chicken (watching): WWHHAATTT! AI CHIP? WHAT IS THIS UNHOLY BULLSHIT?
Quagmire: “AI? Sounds kinky! Let’s do this!”
Stewie: “Fine. Insert the chip into your brain, and it’ll enhance your cognitive abilities.”
Quagmire: (swallowing the chip) “Giggity goo!”
The roach scurries across the kitchen floor. The Griffins follow, armed with brooms, shoes, and rolled-up newspapers.
Lois: “Peter, kill it!”
Peter: (swinging a broom) “Die, you little bugger!”
Brian: Bugger? What are you, British?
Peter: No, Canadian.
Brian: Whatever! We have no time for this!
Stewie: “Wait! Quagmire, activate the chip!”
Quagmire: (eyes glowing) “I feel… smarter. And hornier.”
Stewie: “Focus, Quagmire! The roach!”
Quagmire: “Right! Giggity!”
Ernie the Chicken watches with anger as Quagmire’s eyes lock onto the roach. The AI chip processes data at lightning speed.
Quagmire: “Roach identified. Calculating optimal trajectory.”
Jumping into the air, Matrix-style, Quagmire lands on the roach, squashing it.
Ernie The Chicken: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! GUESS THIS WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!
Quagmire: “Giggity victory!”
Stewie: “Impressive! But Quagmire, you just solved world hunger. And invented a new dance move.”
Quagmire: “Giggity! I call it the ‘Roach Tango.’”
Lois: “Well, crisis averted. Thanks, Stewie.”
Stewie: “No problem. And Quagmire, next time, read the damn label!”
Quagmire winks, and the room erupts in laughter. Ernie The Chicken screams at the sky!
Ernie The Chicken: I will get you one day, Peter Griffin!!!!!
THE END.
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