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The sun was halfway up before Rosha sat up from the dirt. She stared at the grave. Reality had hit her about an hour ago. Jolinar wasn't coming back. "For over two years, half my soul has been missing, and now I...I know I'm never going to get it back. Jolinar, I knew it hurt whenever you lost a host, and now I know how strong you are to be able to...I need that strength now." She closed her eyes as she started recited the words spoken at a Tok'ra funeral. "We do not surrender, even in death. She will not be forgotten."

Hours passed before she rose. "I need to go, but I'll be back. I need to find them. They need to know." With heavy feet, she walked back to the Chaapa'ai. With desperate hope, she dialed the last known Tok'ra base, and went through.

The heat and wind seemed to immediately suck water from her body. She winced under the sun, and remembered being out here before, even hiding within the sand. Rosha never remembered being so uncomfortable despite the conditions, and realized Jolinar must have helped with that.

She walked on as the wind tried to burry her feet. Rosha pressed on, calling out. "Martouf! Lantash!" She mind went over the last time she was here. Martouf had been more worried than usual before Jolinar and she had left. He was right.

After an hour of walking around, trying to find the base, she fell into the sand from exhaustion and thirst. She knew that if the Tok'ra were there, they would have certainly noticed her by now.

She wondered if the Tok'ra had any idea what happened, or if Martouf and Lantash were still hoping for her and Jolinar's return.

A parched mouth made her search her bag for water. She found a canteen, and was thankful for how thoroughly she packed before leaving the planet she had been stranded on. She tasted a hint of blood, and realized the effect the sun and wind had on her lips. In fact, she realized, her skin was feeling hot from sun and windburn, and hitting sand was making it worse.

She got up, realizing her legs had been covered in sand. Rosha wanted to stay longer, but she knew she couldn't. The Tok'ra had left, and she knew they would not have left a trace of them behind.

Her mind elsewhere, she dialed the gate, and walked through. She rubbed stinging eyes after going through, and stropped, realizing she probably was rubbing dusts of sand into them. "Where did I dial to?" She looked around, not comprehending the area, and then shook her head, feeling dizzy.

"No." She took a step back, and realized she was falling.

Rosha lost conscious.

-x-x-x-

"Rosha."

Rosha blinked, and the first thing she realized was she was sore everywhere; every muscle and area of exposed skin was hurting. "Ow." She looked around and first noticed a woman who looked like herself. Registration dawned. "Arra?"

The young woman smiled.

Rosha frowned, confused. "You're a little girl."

Arra almost looked pouty, but her eyes still smiled. "That was years ago. I've grown a bit since then."

Rosha sat up half way, and looked around; seeing she was in the house she grew up. "I dialed home."

"Yes...we-" Arra stopped, as if deciding to continue or not. "We thought you were dead, Rosha."

Rosha frowned. "Who said I was dead? I'm not dead."

Arra looked hesitant, but continued after a look from Rosha. "A year ago, Martouf and Lantash came to tell us that you and Jolinar were..." she paused when she saw the sadness in Rosha's face when she mentioned her symbiote, "uh, not alive." Lantash spoke mostly. Martouf tried to tell us, but then Lantash kept taking over whenever Martouf looked really sad." Arra's voice lowered. "They were really upset."

"How did the Tok'ra know about the attack? How did they even know we were on those planets?"

"The planet attacked, uh, what was it, Nay, Nas..."

"Nasya."

"Nasya, yes. Jolinar was on there, in a male host." The young woman looked confused suddenly. "Why wasn't she in you?"

Rosha glanced down. "Thought it might be better to hide."

"Well, Jolinar left the male, and went into a female."

Rosha's eyes widened. "What?"

"Yes, a...um...Tar...Tau'ri? I think that was it."

"Jolinar moved into another host?"

"Yeah." Arra kept glancing from Rosha to the floor, not sure how Rosha would react to this.

"The Tau'ri know how to use the Chaapa'ai? They know of the Tok'ra? They found Jolinar?"

"Mother was surprised about that too, these...Tau'ri, knowing about Jolinar being there. She asked about it. Lantash just looked kind of uncomfortable, and muttered something, and when he mutters something, it's kind of hard to understand because his voice is all distorted."

Rosha looked down, wondering why Lantash would react in such a manner.

"Should I continue?"

Rosha looked up at her niece. "Yes."

Arra nodded. "Well, there was a hunter, and-and he found Jolinar and this new host and...I-I'm sorry."

"He killed them," Rosha whispered.

"Actually, the host survived."

Rosha blinked. "She's still alive?"

"Well, she was at the time, I don't know about now. I think after Martouf and Lantash got to know her a little better, they tried to get her to remember what happened to you, and well, she remembered you dying."

Rosha thought about the event. "The attack on the planet."

"Another attack?"

Rosha nodded. "I was hiding another planet than Jolinar, who were allies with the people she was hiding with...the planet I was on was attacked, and one of the people helped me escape through the Chaapa'ai. Since he helped, the Ashrak would have killed him...the people must have assumed I was dead, and told their allies what happened. Jolianr thought I was dead. How could she not think I was dead after-" Rosha closed her eyes. She was quiet for a moment. "Do you have any idea how to contact the Tok'ra?"

"No."

"Was hoping." Rosha looked up at her. "Was that the last time any Tok'ra came by?" She watched the young woman nod. "Before that?"

"When Jolinar, Martouf, Lantash, and you came by when I was six."

Rosha looked down again, not sure what to say. "I...I have no idea how to find them." She truly didn't. Their base could be on any number of hundreds of worlds, and she certainly didn't have all the addresses memorized. After so long without contact, she wouldn't even have an idea where any Tok'ra spies were.

"Maybe they will come back, and then see you are alive."

Rosha looked up at her again. "Martouf/Lantash are the only ones who might return." Her fingers found the necklace they had given her and Jolinar. "I cannot contact them, so they need to contact me. I will wait for their return." Rosha smiled slightly, satisfied, convinced at the moment that sometime in the future she would see Martouf and Lantash again.

As the years passed, Rosha never gave up hope. She did a little searching, and followed a few leads. Mostly, all she could do was wait on her home planet. Every morning, even after reaching old age, she thought to herself, /Today is the day I reunite with Martouf and Lantash/.

However, she never saw them again.

The End