FicWad

My long time friend Narwhalpuppy and I got together and wrote this fanfic. Just like before with the anti Futurama fanfic another friend of mine and I did. If you like South Park. RUN! This isn't meant to bash South Park fans. Just the show. Narwhalpuppy and I agree that it's been on long enough and it should've ended long ago. If you all like South Park. We respect that. You'll even see some cameo appearances from other Netflix Adult Cartoons too.


Enjoy!


Paradise PD, Mulligan, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Bojack Horseman, Good Times, and South Park.



Fanfic Title:


Hate Reviews Adventure.


by: Trenton Sands and Toni Cervone.


Scene 1:


It was a typical day at the Paradise PD. In the conference room, Bullet was on his way to the evidence locker to get some drugs.

Bullet (sings): I'll Get Some Drugs Today! I'll Get Some Drugs Today!

Opening the evidence locker, Bullet sees the drugs are gone and replaced with pieces of paper that looked like Post It Notes.

Bullet (yelling): HEY! WHO REPLACED THE DRUGS WITH FUCKING POST IT NOTES!

Kevin (runs in): Post It Notes? Sounds like Romi and Michelle to me.

Bullet: That was a stupid ass movie! That doesn't answer my question! Where the fuck are my drugs?!

Kevin: I have no idea, Bullet. Sorry to say.

Gina and Randall enter the room.

Randall: Bullet! You're always the one who's screaming when the evidence locker is empty. What's your problem now?

Bullet: The evidence locker has Post It Notes inside now. Check it out if you don't believe me!

Gina: Didn't you at least see what is on the Post It Notes? Let me check.

Going inside the evidence locker, Gina grabs as many Post It Notes as possible. Reading them, Gina gets extremely angry.

Kevin: What do they say?

Gina (growling): GGGRRR! Some fucking twat waffle wrote bad reviews about our show!

Kevin, Randall, and Bullet then read the Post It Notes and get really angry themselves.

Bullet: You're right, Gina!

Randall: We need to find out who did this! And fast!

Bullet: Not to mention get my drugs back!

Kevin: Guess we have two cases now.

Randall: Forget the drugs! Let's focus on the Post It Notes! We can always confiscate drugs from criminals some other time.

Stanley calls out from an open window.

Gina: Stanley? What do you want?

Stanley: Has anyone seen Dusty?

Kevin: You're right, Stanley. I haven't seen him at all today.

Stanley: He's into Tarot Cards for some reason.

Bullet: Hopefully Dusty has a Tarot Card that can reveal where the drugs are!

Randall: Didnt you hear what I said before? Forget the fucking drugs for now!

Bullet: Drugs are important.

Randall: Only to you! Come on, let's go see what happening with Dusty.

Kevin: He's capable of anything.

Gina: Anyone else fed up with all the hate reviews our show has been getting?!?!? First the internet now in our own evidence locker?

Bullet: I sure am! If we get any more hate reviews and if I don't get my drugs back soon, I swear!

Randall: For the last time we are NOT getting the drugs back!

Kevin leads the way outside of the Paradise PD Headquarters. Randall, Gina, Kevin, and Bullet follow him.




Scene 2:


An obese man who resembles Dusty dressed in all black is in a tent reading people their fortunes who are standing in line.

Randall: You weren't lying about that, Stanley!

Kevin: Since when did Dusty go goth?

Gina: No matter what his style is....ooooh! Makes Mama's girlhood tremble.

Bullet: Hey, look! The people in line are characters from other Netflix cartoons.

Stanley: I could've sworn one of them was John F Kennedy by the way he talked.

Gina: Hey it's Mulligan, that Lucy whore and that alien Axatrax!

Kevin: Not only them, but Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers from that Scott Pilgrim anime.

Dusty (from behind): Don't mind that sumbitch! That's not me!

They all turn around in shock to see Dusty.

Randall: Dusty! But how.....

Dusty: That's my long lost twin brother, Zachary Marlow telling those fortunes.

Gina: Woah! Your whole family is hot!

Bullet: Can we use your 'brother' to see who left hate reviews on Post It Notes.

Dusty: I'm afraid the line is long at the moment.



Scene 3:


In the tent where Zachary was. Mulligan, Lucy, and Axatrax. Behind them were Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers.

Randall: No offense to your brother, but he looks like an obese Damien from The Omen.

Dusty: None taken. I hate him anyway!

Zachary: Just for the record. I only forsee futures. I don't do the past! And I don't try to figure anyone out!

Matty Mulligan is having his fortune read.

Zachary: Matty is it?

Mulligan: Just call me Mulligan.

Zachary: Want to see your Future.

Mulligan: That's why I'm here Of course. Do I restore order on Earth?

Zachary: Yes and no.

Turning over a card. It shows a crowd with pitchforks and torches and Mulligan hanging from a gally.

Zachary: Yes you do restore order on Earth, but the next day there's a revolt against you because people found out you had a threesome with preachers daughters.

Mulligan: Son of a Bitch!

Lucy: How about me? (eating a bag of jelly doughnuts)

Turning over a card to Lucy it shows her sitting on a porch in front of a trashy looking house. On a rocking chair morbidly obese and fat.

Zachary: Stay off the jelly doughnuts!

Lucy: I used to be a Las Vegas showgirl, I have the metabolism of a.....

Zachary: Or I can show you another future....

Turning over another card to indicate Lucy's future it shows a girl get hit by a steamroller.

Zachary: Either this will happen to you, or you're fat trailer trash. Depends.

Lucy: SHIT!

Axatrax: How about me? Tell me mine!

Turning over a card it shows Axatrax getting his head cut off my Satan.

Axatrax gulps in fear.

Mulligan: Don't worry, my alien friend. We're not going to let anything happen to you.

Lucy: Or to me! Don't forget me!

Zachary: You will be killed by my master, Satan! (laughs evilly) Who's next?

Scott and Ramona: US!

Ramona: What does our future have in store?

Zachary unfolds a card that shows both Scott and Ramona getting a roof collapse on them at a roller rink.

Scott: Holy shit! We have a skating tourament today!

Zachary: Consider this a warning! Stay away from there. It's for your own good.

Ramona: Should we believe this?

Zachary: Yes you should. Or else if you want to meet death in the face.

Randall (cutting in line): Okay! All right! Enough of the cameos! Zachary! Tell us who the fuck wrote these hate reviews on these Post It Notes!

Observing the Post It Notes Zachary looks long and hard.

Bullet: Find our about my drugs while you're at it!

Randall: BULLET!

Bullet: Please! Sorry!

Zachary takes out a tarot card with with a swirl and a fat kid on it.

Kevin: What could it mean?

Zachary: This one means that the person who was behind your hate reviews situation is on a cartoon that debuted long ago that is still going on today.

Stanley: Mickey Mouse! I bet he did it!

Zachary: According to the swirl, there's a fat kid in it. On the card.

Gina: We all know what cartoon has a fat kid on it that should've been cancelled a long time ago!

Stanley, Dusty, Gina, Randall, Bullet, and Kevin: SOUTH PARK!!!!

Zachary: OKay, let's all go back to my place and we'll use my powers of deduction to find out why South Park would do such a thing.

Dusty: That's Zachary all right! Always thinking he knows everything!

The Paradise PD all decide to go to Zachary's house for further information.



Scene 4:


In a twist of fate. Instead of going where Zachary lives. Zachary leads them to Camaro Bob's showroom.

Kevin: I'm confused here. This is where you live?

Zachary: I really don't like telling people where I live. I prefer to tell my fortunes here!

Dusty: Always keeping secrets. Reminds me of when we were kids. Just like Old Rose in Titantic!

Camaro Bob (comes outside): I'm done with my car selling job for the day. Use this showroom at your own risk, Zachary!

Zachary: Thank you so much!

Then a bunch of women in bikinis follow Camaro Bob out of the showroom.

Camaro Bob: Guess you know where I'm going with this. Don't even have to tell you, baby!

Zachary had Kevin, Randall, Bullet, Gina, Dusty, and Stanley all sit in a circle.

Randall: All right, Zachary. What's the plan here?

Bullet: What're we going to do about South Park?

Zachary: I know we'll swap Eric Cartman's soul with a donkey! (laughs) Just kidding!

Gina: How about you castrate Trey Parker and Matt Stone?

Dusty: Don't mind him. He's always thought he was funnier than me.

Stanley: Do you have some type of magic access or something?

Zachary: Curious old man I see. Yes I do.

Kevin: Let me guess, a crystal ball?

Zachary: Even better, that mirror over there.

Pointing to the mirror. Zachary rubs it to get a vision.

Kevin: How is this going to help us know what South Park is doing to plot against us?

Zachary: I have connections! (pulls out his pentagram amlet.)

Bullet: He's going to need some Windex after this.

Using his pentagram amlet, Zachary gets a vision of South Park.

Zachary: Mirror Mirror on The Wall! Tell Us What South Park is Up To Once and For All!

The vision on the mirror that Zachary summoned was slowly beginning to appear. In image in the mirror showed Eric Cartman's house.



Scene 5:

At South Park in Cartman's house. He was walking around his house. Which had posters of Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, and Smiling Friends. Also Cartman had Stan, Kyle, and Kenny killed and they are now stone statues that talk.

Cartman (sighs): Soon, I will be an honorary member of the I.M.P.! If I don't make it, then I will join the Smiling Friends! What do you think, Stan!

Stan (as a stone statue): You sure will achieve your goal, Cartman!

Kyle (as a stone statue): Yes you are very close You are the coollest kid in all of South Park!

Kenny (as a stone statue): mumbling

Cartman: Thanks guys! I like you now a whole lot better since I killed you all!

A knock is heard at the door. Cartman gets annoyed.

Cartman: I'm the only one here. Better go see who that is!

Answering a door it was a Delivery Man.

Delivery Man: I have a package for Eric Cartman! It's action figures of Hazbin Hotel!

Cartman: All right! Awesome! They really exist you know! Here's a dollar for your troubles!

The Delivery Man takes the dollar from Cartman and they say their goodbyes.

Delivery Man: Man, I feel bad about this. I'm taking advantage of a mentally disturbed little boy. He thinks those Hazbin cartoons are reality. Well, if he's happy.....

Stan (as a stone statue): Why did you make those hate reviews?

Cartman: So I can lure the Paradise PD here and I can evaporate them with this!

Going into another room and pulling off a blanket. Underneath it reveals a Doomsday Device.

Cartman: Tah Dah! Doomsday Device!

Kyle (as a stone statue): Why do you want to kill the Paradise PD?

Cartman: Because the more people hate on them, the more people will want to see them die a horrible death! Not only them I will get all the other adult cartoons who have had hate reviews so only South Park, Hazbin Hotel, Smiling Friends and Helluva Boss remain. Then I might take it a step further and kill all the adult cartoons that are so beloved, but don't deserve it! So I say! Let the Paradise PD come to me! So, while I'm waiting for the Paradise PD to show up. I'm going to watch some television!

Kenny (as a stone statue): What an evil diabolical plan! It's pure genius!

Putting the Doomsday Device outside. Going back into his house and into the living room. Cartman turns on the TV.

Cartman: Smiling Friends is almost on. Time for some reality!

Turning on the TV, NBC is on and showing American Auto.

Cartman: Oh fuck no! Not THIS horse shit!

Changing the channel CBS is on and showing So Help Me Todd.

Cartman: Drama! I hate drama! I only like the drama that I create.

Changing the channel once more, ABC comes on and Grey's Anatomy is on.

Cartman: Grey's Anatomy?!?!? NNNNOOOO!!!!! I want Smiling Friends Goddammit!

The scene changing back to Camaro Bob's showroom with Zachary and The Paradise PD.

Randall: So that motherfucker wants to obliterate us with a Doomsday Device?

Kevin: This is totally terrifying. Then when he's done with us, he'll get all the other adult cartoons that are hated.

Zachary: That's why we must stop them at once.

Gina: We going to South Park?

Zachary: Yes we are. We'll go in my RV! There's even a television in the back.

Dusty (growls): Grrrrrr! You always had better things than me!

Zachary: Don't be such a penis about this, little brother!

Dusty: Have a lot of nerve calling me, 'little brother'! You're only older than me by 2 seconds! That don't make you shit!

Zachary: Set your jealousy aside for once. You'll thank me soon enough when we stop South Park from destroying us and all the other hated cartoons.

Stanley: Road Trip! On the way their I'll do some Bing Crosby impressions.

Gina: Road Trip! (cocks gun) Count me in!

Bullet: Uuuuhhhh, no.

Kevin: Is it me, or did that Doomsday Machine look like that one from The Pink Panther Strikes Again?

Randall, Kevin, Gina, Dusty, Stanley, and Bullet all go inside Zachary's RV and drive to South Park.



Scene 6:


The RV was driving to South Park. Zachary was in the driver seat. With Dusty in shotgun.

Randall: How about we watch some TV to pass the time.

Bullet: It's a long way to go and a short time to get there!

Randall: We have no time for Smokey And The Bandit jokes.

Gina: Let's watch the news.

Bullet: Good idea, Gina. Maybe the news knows something about what Cartman wants to do.

Kevin: MSNBC would be good.

Turning on the TV in the RV. The news comes on and Bojack Horseman is the news anchor.

Bojack: Good afternoon. Bojack Horseman reporting to you live here at MSNBC. In the news today Lucy Suwan from the Netflix cartoon, Mulligan has been killed in an unfortunate steamroller accident. We go live on the scene!

The news scene showed Mulligan crying over a flattened Lucy.

Bojack: In other news today, more tragic deaths from....

When Bojack was going to continue. Mr. Peanutbutter comes on from CNBC on the scene.

Mr. Peanutbutter: Bojack Horseman? Is that you working for MSNBC?!

Bojack: Yes it is, go away you're ruining my news report.

Mr. Peanutbutter: I'm a reporter for CNBC! What is this? Battle Of The Network News Reporters That Have NBC in their spelling? (laughing)

Bojack: You want this news scene! Go ahead and have it! Just like our sitcom days all over again!

Mr. Peanutbutter: I'll take over from here! You're the Dan Rather to my Tom Brokaw!

Bojack stands in contempt while Mr. Peanutbutter reports more deaths.

Mr. Peanutbutter: In other news Axatrax an alien also from the Netflix series Mulligan was killed by Satan. Be careful viewers at home, this will be extremely graphic!

News footage of the Satan from Paradise PD breaking Axatrax in half with blood and guts getting spilled was shown. Mulligan was crying in the background.

Gina: Shit! Zachary's predictions were right!

Randall: Who cares about that! Tell us about Cartman!

Bullet: I know right? Our lives are at stake!

Back on the news, Bojack tries to report more deaths that were predicted by Zachary Marlow.

Bojack: Oh, we just got word that the characters from Scott Pilgrim Takes Off... Scott and Ramoma Flowers themselves.....

Mr. Peanutbutter: Got squashed by a broken roof at a roller rink! Here is the footage.

The TV turns off before the graphic footage is shown.

Randall: Shit! Nothing!

Kevin: Want to know what I noticed?

Stanley: James Cagney being On Top Of The World! That's an idiom for an erection!

Gina: Yeah, sure it is old fart.

Bullet: What did you notice?

Kevin: That Fitz and Lovely Corp haven't tried to worm their way into trying to stop Cartman.

Gina: Oh yes, you're right. They even wanted to stop Futurama last year when we were all going after them.

Randall: If Fitz hears about this he will get to South Park before we do if he does.......he'll take the credit and we'll get shit.

Bullet: Oh wait! As I recall. Fitz wanted to get Futurama in his own way. So he's of no threat to us.

Gina: Time will tell for that.

In the front seat, Dusty and Zachary were having a spat.

Zachary: Why do you hate me so much?

Dusty: Because after Momma and Diddy split up you got to go with Diddy and I had to stay behind and get my ass kicked by Momma! Did you know she used to throw bricks at me and dress me up like a woman every year on a birthday?! Not only that, Momma had to resort to porn just to make ends meet. Have any idea what the fuck that was like for me!

Zachary: Man, sorry to hear about that. I was just a kid then and I had no idea our Mama was a sexual psycho. If it makes you feel any better, Diddy abandoned me at the Church of Satan in San Francisco to form Strawberry Action Squad. I begged Diddy if I can join on his adventures but he said I was too young. Good thing I got dropped off there. Made me the man I am today.

Dusty: I stand corrected. Guess we both had it bad.

Zachary: Yeah we did. Let's put our differences aside and take out South Park!

Kevin (calling from back of the RV): Hey, Zachary! The news just reported those characters you told your fortunes to!

Zachary: Dumbasses! I told them to stay away! Do people ever listen to me? NO!



Scene 7:

Somewhere in the South Side of Chicago. Fitz and Brett DeMarco were in a ghetto gambling with a drug dealing baby. His name was Dalvin.

Fitz: Yes! Yes! All in!

Brett DeMarco: We in!

Dalvin: Oh fuck! I was just about to beat you guys!

Fitz: Don't quit your day job!

Brett DeMarco: Stick with drug dealing. It'll really do you some good.

Dalvin: I think you cheated and won against me on purpose and....

When Dalvin was going to berate Fitz and Brett DeMarco. A fat black man with a beard pulls up in a taxi. His name was Reggie.

Reggie: DALVIN! Are you luring corporate businessmen with gambling again?

Dalvin: God Dammit Dad! Always trying to ruin my fucking fun!

Fitz: Hey, I know you. You're Reggie Evans from the Good Times Netflix cartoon.

Reggie: Yes I am.

Brett DeMarco: We love your show. How about we treat you and your family to dinner?

Reggie: You're on.

Fitz and Brett DeMarco get in the cab while Reggie grabs Dalvin inside.

Dalvin: Son of a bitch!

Fitz: Do all Seth Macfarlane cartoons have talking babies?

Brett DeMarco: Dalvin is no Stewie that's for sure.



Scene 8:


Back in South Park, Cartman wants to demonstrate his Doomsday Device.

Cartman: Hey, guys. Want to see how my Doomsday Device works?

Stan (as a stone statue): Sure dude!

Kyle (as a stone statue): You have our full support!

Kenny (as a stone statue): Mmm mmm mmm mmm!

When Cartman goes to his Doomsday Device. Towelie stops him.

Towelie: Whenever you're playing with heavy machinary. Don't forget to bring a towel.

Cartman: Get the fuck out of my way, Towelie! I have no time for your bullshit.

Towelie: Wanna get high?

Cartman (kicks Towelie far): GET OUT OF HERE YOU BLACK ASSHOLE! No I don't want to get high!

Towelie (flying away into the sky): I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING OOOOONNNNN!!!!!

Cartman (points his Doomsday Device to a tree): IGNITION!!!!

Shooting the Doomsday Device, the tree evaporates!

Kyle (as a Stone Statue): Woah dude! You have such awesome power!

Stan (as a Stone Statue): The Paradise PD don't have a chance against you!

Kenny (as a Stone Statue): Mmm mmm mmm mmm!

Cartman: Thanks guys! I'm so glad I programmed you all to tell me how cool I am. Let's see what else I can use on this?

By mistake, Cartman bumps his elbow into the Doomsday Device and it makes a turn and vaporizes the Kenny stone statue.

Kenny (as as Stone Statue): MMMMMM!!!!

Stan (as a Stone Statue): Oh my god! Cartman used his Doomsday Device to kill Kenny!

Kyle (as a Stone Statue): You bastard!

Cartman: HEY! It was was a mistake all right! Even evil geniuses like me fuck up! Now that the Paradise PD are on their way to confront me about those hate reviews on Post It Notes. They'll soon be a bad memory. A bad forgotten memory!



Scene 9:


In a swanky part of Chicago. Fitz and Brett DeMarco are in a 5 star restaurant with the Evans family.

Beverly: Wow! Thank you so much for treating us to lunch! I love how they serve Sanka here!

Fitz: The pleasure is mine.

Reggie: This sure beats Beverly's cooking!

Beverly: Hey?

Reggie: It's a joke.

Brett DeMarco (looks at Junior and Grey): So kids, are you considering our company Lovely Corp as a future career goal?

Grey: Me? Work for a corporate business? Not for me!

Junior: Don't mind her, she's an activist type.

Fitz: Kind of figured that.

Junior: If you're hiring artists, I'll look into it!

Reggie: You work for Lovely Corp? You're in 10th grade for the 3rd time!

Fitz: No problem. It doesn't matter what your education status is. There's something for everyone at Lovely Corp!

Beverly: You think Junior is Lovely Corp material?

Brett DeMarco: You say he's an artist. We have an Art Museum!

Grey: Good luck with him. He won't last 2 days without us!

Reggie: Yeah, he'll be begging to come back! (laughing) You have no idea how attached he is to us!

Junior: So much for having faith in me!

Dalvin (to Fitz and Brett DeMarco): These assholes beat me at gambling. Now I have to have dinner with them?

Junior: Ha! You guys are just jealous that I can strive with my talent at Lovely Corp.

Beverly: We sure can use some money to live.

Reggie: Hey, what about my taxi driving job?

Fitz: Junior will be the one making a living and...

Just when Fitz can go on any further, they both hear a bell.

Beverly: Is that a dinner bell?

Brett DeMarco looks at his watch.

Fitz: That's our Paradise PD alarm. They're our enemies. What does it say?

Brett DeMarco: It says they're on their way to South Park to stop a Doomsday Device.

Fitz: What're we waiting for. Let's go to South Park, and take away the Doomsday Device from whoever has it. and we'll kill the Paradise PD ourselves with it!

Brett DeMarco: It's a plan!

Reggie: Hey, wait a minute? You guys were evil all along?

Beverly: You guys want to kill cops?

Dalvin: South Park! DAMN! I fucking hate that show! Kill that instead of those cops whoever they are!

Grey: Money, greed, corporations and evil go hand in hand. I knew not to trust them from the start!

Fitz: Yes we are enemies with the cops. Now if you'll excuse us.

Brett DeMarco: We have to go now. We hope you enjoyed your dinner.

Junior: Am I still eligible for an artist job?

Brett DeMarco: Maybe some other time.

Fitz and Brett DeMarco: Waiter! Check please!

Making their departure from the resturant, Fitz and Brett DeMarco were now on their way to South Park.

Reggie: At least they didn't leave us to pay for this dinner ourselves.



Scene 9:


With the Paradise PD on their way to South Park. Cartman sees them coming through his telescope. Panic At The Disco House Of Memories plays thoughout.

Cartman: Ha! They're coming, good! Little do they know this will be their last day alive! So, this looks like a job for.....


Running into his closet in his bedroom, Cartman gets into his Coon costume.


Cartman: The Coon arises again! (evil laugh)


The RV that Zachary was driving has now stopped at Cartman's house.


Zachary: Okay, Paradise PD. We're here!


Dusty: How are we going to beat him?


Randall: Oh look. Here comes the little asshole now!


Kevin: He looks like he came back from a Fury Convention!


Cartman: Paradise PD! I knew you'd show up! Are you ready to taste the flavor that is death?!


Bullet: We saw your little Post It Notes that brought us here!


Gina: What's with the raccoon get up?


Cartman: I am no longer Cartman, I am now The Coon! (takes out gun) I'm going to fill you all full of lead!


Bullet, Kevin, Gina, Randall, and Stanley all dodged the bullets, until they could not take it anymore.


Stanley: Do something somebody! This is worst than when I was on the set of The Guns of Navarone!


Dusty and Zachary decide to step up.


Cartman: You guys going to be human shields?


The retound sociopath was having a hard time trying to finish off Dusty and Zachary. For Zachary's goth outfit was bullet proof. Then Cartman aka The Coon ran out of bullets.


Cartman: Son of a bitch! How is this possible?!?!?!


Zachary: You'd be surprised at what the power of Satan Worship can do! Ready Dusty?


Dusty: Ready!


The Marlow brothers band together get out of a tarot card the showed a person with a broken leg on it and throw it at Cartman that totally injured his leg.


Cartman: AAAAAHHHHH! YOU BLACK ASSHOLES! I may be injured but I'm still going to use my Doomsday Device!


Zachary: Good work, Dusty!


Dusty: We ought to call ourselves the Super Marlow Bros!


Bullet: More like Flying Burrito Brothers!


Zachary and Dusty: We resent that!


Limping to Doomsday Device, Cartman barely makes it.


Kevin: Wow, Zachary! You sure are a big help!


Gina: Would you be interested in a threesome later? You, me, and Dusty?


Randall: Gina! Cartman is headed for the Doomsday Device, go destroy it!


Gina (runs) Mama's On It, Bitches!


Bullet: In the meantime, we'll distract Cartman. Hey, Cartman wait!


Cartman (stops): What is it?


Kevin: Why are you trying to wipe Paradise PD off the map!


Cartman: Because there's only room for four adult cartoons in this world. South Park for one, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, and Smiling Friends! Your shitty ass show however is just a rehash of a rehash of a rehash of a rehash! Whereas my show and those others I mentioned, which happen to be my favorites, are a breath of fresh air and something different. I'll be doing the world a favor by getting rid of cloned adult cartoons like you guys! Then when I get done with all of you. I plan to destroy all the rehashes so my show and my favorites can remain!


Gina goes and disables the Doomsday Device with success. Gives Randall a signal that she did her job.


Randall: You know what? You're right.


Kevin: Uhhh, yes. We give into you. All great and mighty Cartman!


Stanley: Go ahead. Murder and kill us. You are right about us.


Bullet: That's correct, Cartman. All we are is a Brickleberry clone mixed with Family Guy.


Cartman goes to the Doomsday Device and tries to activate it.


Gina: Boy he doesn't know what he's in for!


Cartman: Son of a bitch! My Doomsday Device! What the fuck happened to it?!?!?!


Stan (as a stone statue): Try the switch!


Kyle (as a stone statue): Pull the lever.


Cartman: I'm trying! I'm trying and....


The barrell falls off of the Doomsday Device. Once the Paradise PD sees that, they run away and hide behind some bushes to watch Cartman's failure.


Cartman: Heeeekkk!


Knowing full well that the barrell was explosive, Cartman drives to dive at it.


Cartman: SON OF A BITCH!


It was too late for Cartman. The barrell fell onto the ground and the residential area of the South Park exploded into a mushroom cloud. The Paradise PD watch for a while then cheer over their victory against Cartman.


Randall: He's gone! Hopefully he burst into a cloud of dirt!


Kevin: He is!


Dusty: We won!


Bullet: We never would've done it without you, Zachary.


Zachary: Aww, it was nothing!


Gina: Yes! We finally got rid of that fucking twat waffle!


Stanley: He tempered in God's Domain!




Scene 10 Conclusion:


About to go back to Paradise. A limo rides up.


Gina: Oh fuck! What now?


The limo stops and out comes Fitz and Brett DeMarco.


Kevin: Why aren't you guys at Lovely Corp?


Randall: Fitz! If you're here to...


Fitz: We heard there was a Doomsday Device here.


Brett DeMarco: We came here so we can use it to blast you all to death.


Dusty: I'm afraid you're too late!


Zachary (walks up): You see, we already took down an evil plan to erase Paradise PD from existence.


Fitz (shocked): Damn! Am I seeing double!


Brett DeMarco (appalled): Is there 2 Dustys?!?!


Gina: You can't use the Doomsday Device. Not now, not ever.


Zachary: I heard about your Lovely Corp assholes. If you stick around. Things are going to get weird!


Bullet: That's right! He helped up to solve this whole thing with tarot cards.


Dusty: Show him what you can do, brother!


Zachary: (takes out a pack of tarot cards): Would you like to know your future?


Brett and Fitz begin to break out in terror sweat.


Fitz: You know Brett. Let's just go back home!


Brett DeMarco: Yeah, I think we should.


Fitz: We need to pick up Zeta from her baseball game.


Brett DeMarco: The game hasn't started yet, so let's go there for support!


Fitz and Brett DeMarco go back inside the limo and drive back to Paradise.


Dusty: Well, Zachary. I'm so sorry for the resentment I held against you over the years.


Zachary: That's okay. We know the truth about each other now.


Dusty: You going to stay with us at the Paradise PD?


Zachary: Nah, reading fortunes is more my thing. But if you ever want me to help you with a psychic case. I'm your man.


Kevin (crying): This is so touching. Brotherly love.


Randall: Only you would cry at something like this, Kevin. You're as bad as your mother.


Gina: If you ever want a date sometime....


Zachary: Nah, I'm asexual.


Gina: Okay! (rolls eyes angerly)


Bullet: Anyone ready to go back to Paradise!


Dusty: I sure am.


Zachary: Me too.


Everyone notices the RV is gone.


Randall: Holy fuck! Someone stole our RV?!?!


Kevin: Now we're stranded here!


Gina: Let me find the culprit....


The RV reappears again with Stanley driving it.


Stanley (laughing): Fooled you! You all got Hopsin'd! Let's all haul ass to Lollapollozza!
Whatever the fuck that is!

Bullet: That's our Stanley!


Zachary: Is he like that all the time?


Dusty: Hes unpredicatable.


The Paradise PD all board the RV and Stanley drives them back to Paradise. Zachary revealed he lives in an underground bunker in Paradise because he's scared someone will execute him for being a Satanist.


Bullet: I wonder if Cartman survived that blast?


A mental hospital in Denver is shown. Inside there was Cartman in a padded room screaming obsenitities in a straightjacket. Cartman uses his foot to write with a black marker, "KILL PARADISE PD" all over the padded room.



THE END