FicWad

Dan was enjoying a rare moment of peace in his apartment, lounging on his couch with a bowl of popcorn and his favorite TV show The A Team in the background. Just as he was about to drift into a blissful nap, a loud, boisterous noise erupted from the apartment next door.


“What in the world?” Dan muttered, sitting up and glaring at the wall. The noise continued, a cacophony of laughter, shouting, and what sounded like a mariachi band.


Dan stormed over to his window and peered outside. A large, colorful family was moving into the apartment next door, their belongings scattered across the lawn.


“Who the hell are these people?” Dan grumbled. “And why are they ruining my peace and quiet?”


He watched as the family from the Disney cartoons Primos, continued to make a ruckus, oblivious to the disturbance they were causing. Dan’s blood boiled. He couldn’t let this slide. He needed to get revenge.


Dan grabbed his phone and dialed Chris’s number.


“Chris, I fucking need your help,” Dan said as soon as Chris picked up.


“Uh, hey Dan. What’s up?” Chris replied, sounding wary.


“There’s a new loud ass family next door, and they’re driving me crazy. We need to get rid of them,” Dan explained.

“Dan, you can’t just get rid of people because they’re noisy,” Chris said, trying to reason with him.

“That’s why I need your help. And Elise’s too. Meet me at my place in an hour,” Dan insisted before hanging up.

Chris sighed and turned to Elise, who was sitting next to him. “Looks like Dan’s got another scheme. You in?”

Elise rolled her eyes but smiled. “Sure, why not? Let’s see what kind of trouble Dan’s gotten himself into this time.”

Dan hears more of the commotion from the family and screams in the air, “PRIMOS!”



A caption reads, “Dan Vs Primos!”



An hour later, Chris and Elise arrived at Dan’s apartment, skepticism written all over their faces. Dan, however, was brimming with excitement, a mischievous glint in his eye.


“Alright, here’s the plan,” Dan began, pacing around his living room. “We’re going to turn this place into a fortress of silence. We’ll start by soundproofing every inch of these walls. Then, we’ll create a white noise machine so powerful, it’ll drown out any noise they make.”


Chris and Elise exchanged a look. “Dan, this is overkill,” Chris said, trying to reason with his friend. “Maybe we should just talk to them first?”


“Talk to them? Are you kidding? We’re talking about a mariachi band living next door! This is war!” Dan exclaimed, channeling his inner John McClane from Die Hard.


Elise chuckled. “Alright, war it is. But I’m not promising anything.”


Determined, Dan led his friends to the hardware store, where they stocked up on soundproofing materials, insulation, and various electronic gadgets. Back at Dan’s apartment, they spent the next few hours transforming the living room into a soundproofed bunker.


“I think we’ve created a sound studio in here,” Elise said, impressed with their work.


“Perfect,” Dan replied, satisfied with their progress. “Now, let’s get started on that white noise machine.”


"White Noise? You going to contact the dead like in that movie?" asked Elise.


Chris looked at Dan and said, “You know, this reminds me of Home Alone. We’re setting up traps, but instead of burglars, we’re fighting noise.”


Dan grinned. “Exactly! And just like Kevin, we’re going to win.”


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The plan was set into motion. Elise placed the speaker near the Primos’ apartment and cranked up a playlist of the most obnoxious, over-the-top circus music they could find. Meanwhile, Chris set up the fake spiders in a path that the Ramirez-Humphrey family were likely to walk.


The Ramierz-Humphreys soon noticed the commotion. They stared at the speaker in confusion as it blared out carnival tunes. “What’s with all this racket?” Mr. Rameriz-Humphrey shouted over the din. As the family moved to investigate the source of the noise, they stumbled over the fake spiders scattered around. Mrs. Rameriz-Humphrey let out a comical shriek, causing the entire family to burst into laughter.


Elise and Dan watched from their vantage point, trying to stifle their own laughter. Dan leaned over to Chris. “Looks like we’re winning this round.” Chris smirked. “Yeah, but don’t get too cocky. They might come up with their own counter-attack.” As if on cue, the Primos rallied together and turned their mariachi band’s volume to maximum. The music now seemed to outdo the circus tunes in both intensity and enthusiasm.


The battle of the noise escalated into a full-blown musical duel. Dan, caught off guard by the Primos’ resilience, looked at Chris and Elise with a mix of awe and exasperation. “You can call me, "Tinker Tailor Soldier Dan." but with way more percussion.” Dan demanded. Elise snickered. “Alright, let’s adjust the strategy. Time for Operation Charm Offensive.” Dan, still shaking his head in disbelief, gave a thumbs-up. “Fine. Let’s go meet them and see if we can turn this into a friendly rivalry instead.”


Elise, Dan, and Chris trudged up the path to the Primos’ apartment, still buzzing from their noisy showdown. They could hear the mariachi music trailing off as they approached, signaling that the Primos might be ready for a truce. The trio exchanged glances, knowing they had to be charming to win the Rameriz-Humphreys over.


As they knocked on the door, they heard footsteps approaching. The door swung open, and Mrs. Rameriz-Humphrey greeted them with a curious smile. “Oh, hey there. We didn’t expect to see you.”


“Hi, Mrs. Rameriz-Humphrey,” Dan said, giving his most disarming grin. “We were just coming to apologize for the whole circus music and fake spider thing. We didn’t mean to cause a ruckus.”


Mr. Rameriz-Humphrey appeared behind her, looking less annoyed and more amused. “Well, you certainly made quite an impression. And your timing was impeccable. We had just turned up the volume to drown out your circus music.”


Elise chuckled. “It felt like we were in a scene from Mousehunt, setting up all those traps.”


Chris nodded. “Yeah, and you guys responded like the Avengers assembling for a showdown.”


Mrs. Rameriz-Humphrey laughed. “Well, we couldn’t let you have all the fun. It was like a musical version of The Great British Bake Off, but with noise instead of cakes.”


Dan grinned. “Maybe next time we can have a friendly competition, like in Pitch Perfect. A battle of the bands, but with a twist.”


Mr. Rameriz-Humphrey raised an eyebrow. “You’re on. But be warned, we’ve got some tricks up our sleeves too.”


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Elise, Dan, and Chris knew they had to step up their game. They gathered in their secret hideout, which they jokingly called the “Batcave,” to brainstorm their next move.


“We need something epic,” Elise said, pacing back and forth. “Something that will make them realize we will not give into their shit.”


Dan snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it! Remember that scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off where Ferris sets up all those elaborate traps to make it look like he’s still in bed? We can do something similar.”


Chris grinned. “I like it. But let’s add a twist. We’ll combine it with some Mission: Impossible style espionage.”


The trio got to work, setting up a series of pranks that would make The Borrowers proud. They rigged up a bucket of confetti to fall when the door was opened, set up a series of whoopee cushions on the chairs, and even placed a fake snake in the hallway.


The next morning, the Ramirez-Humphrey family woke up to a series of surprises. As they opened the door, the bucket of confetti fell, covering them in a shower of colorful paper. They sat down for breakfast, only to be greeted by the sound of whoopee cushions. And when they walked down the hallway, Mrs. Ramirez-Humphrey let out another shriek as she spotted the fake snake.


Elise, Dan, and Chris watched from their vantage point, barely able to contain their laughter. “This is like The Office when Jim pranks Dwight,” Dan said, wiping away tears of laughter.


Mr. Ramirez-Humphrey, now covered in confetti, looked up and saw the trio watching. He couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, you win this round,” he called out. “But don’t think we’re done yet. This is just like Game of Thrones. The battle may be over, but the war is far from finished.”


Elise grinned. “Bring it on. We’ll be ready.”


As the Ramirez-Humphrey family retreated to plan their next move, Elise, Dan, and Chris high-fived each other. “We did it,” Chris said. “We actually pulled it off.”


Elise nodded. “Yeah, but let’s not get too comfortable. This is just the beginning. We’ve got to stay one step ahead, like Sherlock Holmes.”


Dan smiled. “Agreed. But for now, let’s enjoy our victory. It’s like we just won the Triwizard Tournament.”


The trio celebrated their triumph, knowing that the friendly rivalry with the Ramirez-Humphrey family was far from over. But for now, they basked in the glory of their success, ready for whatever challenges lay ahead.


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The Ramirez-Humphrey family regrouped in their living room, determined to come up with a plan to outdo Elise, Dan, and Chris. Tater Ramirez-Humphrey, the middle member of the family, was particularly eager to get involved. “I’ve got an idea,” Tater said, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “We’ll use technology to our advantage.”


Mr. Ramirez-Humphrey nodded. “Alright, Tater. What do you have in mind?”


Tater pulled out his laptop and began typing furiously. “We’ll hack into their Wi-Fi and set up a series of distractions. We can play loud music, turn off their lights, and even control their smart devices. It’ll be like something out of a sci-fi movie.”


Mrs. Ramirez-Humphrey smiled. “I like it. Let’s get to work.”


The family spent the next few hours setting up their plan. They hacked into the trio’s Wi-Fi network and programmed a series of pranks to go off at different times throughout the day. They were confident that their plan would leave Elise, Dan, and Chris scrambling.


The next morning, Elise, Dan, and Chris were in the middle of planning their next move when the chaos began. The lights flickered on and off, loud music blared from their speakers, and their smart devices went haywire. “What’s going on?” Elise shouted over the noise.


Dan quickly realized what was happening. “FUCK!!!! They’ve hacked into our Wi-Fi! We need to shut it down.”


Chris nodded and rushed to the router, but before he could reach it, the doorbell rang. The trio exchanged confused looks before cautiously opening the door. Standing there was Tater, holding a white flag. “We surrender,” he said with a grin.


Elise, Dan, and Chris couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, Tater. You got us good,” Dan admitted. “But this isn’t over.”


Tater’s grin widened. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”


As the Ramirez-Humphrey family celebrated their victory, Elise, Dan, and Chris began plotting their next move. They knew they had to come up with something even more elaborate to regain the upper hand. “We need to think bigger,” Elise said. “Something that will really blow their minds.”


Dan nodded. “Agreed. Let’s get to work.”


The friendly rivalry between the two families continued, each side determined to outdo the other. But for now, Elise, Dan, and Chris were content to enjoy the challenge, knowing that the real fun was in the game itself.


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Days turned into weeks as the rivalry between the Ramirez-Humphrey family and the trio of Elise, Dan, and Chris intensified. Each side had their share of victories, but the overall score remained close. The tension was palpable in the neighborhood as the families planned their next moves.


Elise, Dan, and Chris had been brainstorming for weeks. They knew they needed something truly outlandish to turn the tide in their favor. Finally, they had an idea. "What if we could create a virtual reality experience that would completely immerse the Ramirez-Humphrey family in a world of their own making?" Chris suggested.


Dan's eyes lit up. "That's brilliant! We could use their own technology against them."


The trio spent countless hours working on their plan. They hacked into the Ramirez-Humphrey family's home network and installed a custom-built virtual reality program. They knew the family was likely to be spending a lot of time at home, so they set the program to activate at a specific time.


When the day arrived, the Ramirez-Humphrey family was gathered in their living room. They were just about to start watching a movie when their screens suddenly went dark. A strange, pulsating light filled the room, and the family was enveloped in a blinding white glow.


When their vision cleared, they found themselves standing in a vast, alien landscape. Strange creatures were roaming the land, and towering, otherworldly structures dotted the horizon. The Ramirez-Humphrey family was trapped in a virtual reality world created by their rivals.


Elise, Dan, and Chris watched from a hidden vantage point, their faces filled with satisfaction. They had finally managed to outwit their opponents and deliver the ultimate prank. As the Ramirez-Humphrey family struggled to navigate the unfamiliar world, Elise, Dan, and Chris knew that they had won the war!


Chris says, "Must feel good to finally win, hey Dan!"


Dan agrees, "Yes! Yes! Yes! I finally got rid of those asshole Primos family!" Chris laughs, "It's like they're stuck in that Phantom Zone from Superman 2!" Dan asks, "Say, listen. Why did you guys agree to help instead of trying to pry me away from them?"


"We felt like we owed you one." Chris said. "Yes, after all the time we've tried to pull you away, this time, we were on your side." Elise says.


"Wow, that's unusual coming from you two!" Dan said. "Either way, thank you!"


Elise suggests, "Anyone want to hit the mall?"


Chris says, "Okay sure. How about you, Dan?"


"I'll plan for my next revenge!" Dan tells his friends.