Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > More Adventures with Girl in the Moon
Grace and Pete talk and start to put thing right. Bronx gets a graduation gift.
0Unrated
For the next few weeks, Pete and I were not in the best of places. We didn’t really touch each other. But he did try to stay in the vicinity of me. We slept in the same bed, but didn’t cuddle. We weren’t intimate at all. I didn’t even kiss him. The last kiss I had given him was in the kitchen that day. I allowed him to kiss me, but only a kiss and only sometimes. Other times I moved away from him because I just didn’t want to be touched. I did miss him, his touch and his kisses, but I wasn’t ready to initiate any affection. I was trying to decide if I could live with someone I thought was my soulmate, but didn’t think I was his.
We did try to keep it from the kids. We didn’t act differently towards them. But they weren’t stupid, they knew something was going on. Even the twins picked up on it. More than once Star asked, “Mama sad?” Every time I would smile at her and say I was ok.
Bronx’s high school graduation was approaching fast. This was a big deal and Pete and Ashlee both wanted to make a fuss over it. And to be totally honest, so did Evan and I. We all agreed to host a party for him at his choice of locations and his choice of guest list with the exception of some close family and friends.
I decided to give Luna to him. He had taken her a few times by himself and had enjoyed the experience. That was something that only he and I had in common. I had built out Luna for one or maybe two people to camp or live in. For the most part she had been just sitting in the driveway not being used.
During those two weeks, I cleaned out Luna. I set up my camera and filmed it. I had the twins outside with me as I tried to clean her out. I pulled everything out of her, removed anything that was personal, washed the bedding and the plates, cutlery, and anything else that I was putting back in her. I vacuumed her out and washed down everything. And then with the twins' help, we washed the outside of Luna. They enjoyed that because I sprayed them with the hose and they got to play in the water.
Once she was all clean inside and out, I took her in for an oil change, new tires and just made sure she was safe and ready for a trip. Then, I signed the title over to him. I put the title and the keys in a small box and wrapped it up. I had also tucked in a paper letting him know that I would take care of the insurance on her while he was in school. I didn’t want him to worry about that while he was studying.
He was over at ours a few days before his graduation. I decided to give her to him that evening. Once the kids were all in bed, I asked him to take a walk with me. We left the house just him and I.
“Bronx, I asked you to come for a walk with me because I wanted to talk to you.” I told him as we walked down the street.
He glanced over at me with a question in his eyes. “What did you want to talk about?”
I smiled at him. “I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. And that I’m envious of you. I wish I was 18 again and about to go off to college. You’re gonna have such a good time. You’re gonna meet new people and learn new things. You’re going to have so many fun, and interesting experiences.”
Bronx grinned at me. “I’m really excited to go. I’m gonna miss all of you guys. But I’m ready for it.”
“And you should be. Look, I also wanted to talk to you away from your Dad and Mom. Because I’m going to tell you some things I know they won’t and as a parent, I’m sure they won’t like me telling you. But you're an adult or almost an adult now.” I said.
I stopped walking and turned to him. “Have fun at college. Go to parties, get drunk, get high, get laid. Be smart about it all, I’m not ready to be a Granny just yet, but do all of those things. Don’t neglect your studies, but don’t keep from having fun too. You’re young and this is the time for you to experiment and figure out who you are and what you want in life. You’re gonna make amazing friends and you’re gonna make amazing memories.”
Bronx laughed a big hearty laugh. “I promise, I’ll try to have fun.”
We continued our walk around the block.
“Moon, are you and Dad ok?” Bronx asked me as we walked.
“I don’t know. Things are a little tender right now. Why are you asking?” I know I hadn’t been completely normal around him or Pete for the past few weeks. But I was trying really hard to get over the hurt and disappointment I was feeling. I was still stuck on the fact Patrick was Pete’s soulmate and not me.
“Because Saint mentioned that you guys have been...off. He didn’t say you guys were fighting, just that you aren’t really talking. And you don’t sit next to him anymore. I haven’t seen you two kiss in weeks. And you haven’t been your normal upbeat self. You know Dad loves you, right?”
I nodded and said, “I know he loves me. But,” I stopped talking. I didn’t want to burden him with this.
“But what?” Bronx asked.
“I’m not his soulmate. It’s a kick in the chest to know that. But that isn’t anything you need to worry about. Your Dad and I will work it out one way or another.” I smiled up at him since he had had one last growth spurt and was now taller than I was.
“Do you think of Dad as your soulmate?” He asked me.
I didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes. I do or I did.”
Bronx didn’t say anything else about it. We talked about what he was looking forward to the most. When we got back to the house I stopped next to Luna.
“Bronx, one more thing. I have a gift for you.” I opened Luna’s passenger door and pulled the gift box out of the glovebox. “This is from me. Not your Dad and me, just me. Happy graduation!” I said as I handed it over.
He opened the box and as soon as he saw the keys he knew what the gift was.
“Are you giving me Luna?” He asked me not quite believing it.
“Yes I am. You’re the reason I don’t live in her anymore. She’s been sitting here for the past two years. Someone needs to take her out on adventures. It’s your turn now.”
He threw his arms around me and hugged me tight. “Thank you. Thank you so much!”
“If you need to, you can store her here. But she’s yours now. And I’ll continue to pay the insurance on her until you graduate from college. Have fun in her. I sure did.”
We headed inside after that. Bronx excitedly showed his father what I had done. Pete grinned at him and told him to have fun in her and to be careful.
Bronx headed to bed shortly after that and so did I. Pete followed me upstairs.
“I didn’t know you were going to give Luna to Bronx. But it made him very happy. It was really kind of you to do that.” He told me as we went up.
“I don’t use her anymore, she’s just not meant for more than one or two people. I want her to be used and enjoyed. I think it’s his turn to go on adventures. I don’t anymore.” I said without thinking. We weren’t going on adventures much anymore. It was just too much with the twins.
“What do you mean? We still go out and do things. We still have adventures.” Pete said surprised.
“Not like I used to. But that’s ok. I picked family over adventures. Doing it with four kids on my own just isn’t working. I’ve been thinking a lot about just stopping my channel. I don’t really have much content anymore. I don’t see the point of it. The channel is called Adventures with Girl in the Moon, and I don’t adventure anymore. So, why should I keep it up? No one really wants to see our boring day to day life. That wasn’t what I wanted for the channel, but that’s what it’s become. I don’t think I want to do it anymore.” I told him. I walked away from him before he could say anything else and went to wash my face and brush my teeth.
I came out a few minutes later changed and ready for bed. Pete headed in and got ready for bed. By the time he came out of the bathroom I was in bed, turned to face away from him. He didn’t say anything to me, just slid into bed and turned off the lights.
This distance between us was painful. But I couldn’t bring myself to roll over and ask for his attention. I knew he would if I made my wants known. But I can be stubborn and prideful. I wanted him to think of me as his soulmate. But it wasn’t something that could be forced. And I didn’t want lip service. I don’t want to be told it just because it was what I wanted to hear. I wanted it to be true and I knew it wasn’t.
I didn’t sleep much or well. I hadn’t been since the fight. I ended up slipping out of bed early in the morning long before anyone else in the house was up. To keep myself occupied I had my laptop so I could read through some comments on my last post. I just didn’t have the desire to keep up with the channel anymore. I decided that I needed a break from it. What I wanted was a break from my life. I wanted to leave all the kids, pets, and Pete behind and take off in Luna. I missed my old life. I wanted to take off and go backcountry camping. Be off grid and away from everything and everyone. I knew that I was never going to be able to do that again. I put my head down and just cried out all my hurt.
Pete was the first person to get up. He came down and found me in the kitchen.
“Grace? Are you alright?” He asked me very concerned.
“No. I’m not alright. Can you… No, never mind.” I said as I got up and wiped my face.
“What? What do you need from me?” Pete asked quickly.
“Nothing. I don’t need anything.” I said.
Pete just sighed and said, “Honey, please tell me what you need. Please. You have to start talking to me. We can’t go on like this.”
“I’m ok, don’t worry.” I told him and started making breakfast for the family. Today was the last day of school for Saint and Marvel. The next day was Bronx’s graduation and his party. The kids and I would be leaving for South Carolina in just four days.
I got coffee started and pulled out the eggs and bacon. Pete offered to get the twins up for me. I took him up on his offer. It gave me a minute to get myself together. He came down with all five of the children.
“Happy last day of school!” I said to the older ones when they came into the kitchen.
“Good morning Mommy!” Marvel greeted me with her beautiful smile.
“Morning Mom.” Saint said as he yawned.
“Mornin’ Moon.” Bronx said as he fixed a cup of coffee.
“Why are you up so early? You don’t have to be in school today.” I asked him.
“I’m planning on spending today at the beach with some friends.” He said with a yawn.
“That sounds like fun. Do you want me to pack you up some food or snacks?” I asked him as I started frying the bacon.
“Thanks Moon. I’ll probably take you up on that. But after breakfast.” Bronx said and then smiled at me.
Pete got the twins up in their chairs and ready to eat. I made big platters of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. I let everyone except Star and Jupiter fix their own plates. I sat with the twins on one side and Marvel on the other. Pete was across the table from me.
“Will you be here tonight?” Pete asked his son.
“No, I’m gonna be at Mom’s. She wants me there for the next few nights. She’s freaking out that I’m gonna be gone soon.” Bronx said.
“I understand that. I am too, you know.” He told his son and then grinned at him.
“Will we see you before we leave for the summer?” I asked him.
“When are you guys leaving?”
“Tuesday morning.”
“I’ll be over for dinner on Monday.” He assured me.
I smiled and said, “Good, we want to see you before we leave. Are you excited for tomorrow?”
Bronx grinned at me. “Very!”
Pete grinned back at him. “You should be. I’m so proud of you. And I’m having a hard time truly believing you’re all grown up. I never wanted you to grow up and leave us. But I know that was just wishful thinking as a parent.”
We ate breakfast and chatted with each other. I glanced at the clock and told the little kids to hurry up. They went up and got dressed for school. Pete and Bronx offered to clean up the kitchen for me. I took the babies and got them dressed for the day. Then it was time to take the kids to the bus. They said goodbye to their brother and father and I took them to the bus stop. When I got back my kitchen was clean and empty.
I got the twins something to play with and sat back down at the kitchen table. I should have gone up and cleaned up more for the day. I had a Zoom meeting later with my new manager and publicist. But I was regretting hiring them. I was regretting letting my editor send the book to the publisher. I didn’t want to deal with everything that went with that.
I was sitting at the table just doing nothing. I was lost in my own head. I was startled out of my thoughts when Star said, “Bonks!”
I looked up to see Bronx standing in the kitchen. He bent over and picked up his sister.
“Hello Star.” He said before he kissed her. He came over to the table and sat down across from me.
“Would you like me to get you something to take to the beach?” I offered.
“No, but thanks. I wanted to talk to you.” He said very seriously. He put Star down and said to her, “I need to talk to Mama. Go play with Jupiter.”
Once she had turned and started to walk away he turned his attention to me.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked him.
“I don’t know what Dad did. But I think I know him well enough to know he didn’t cheat on you. He’s not that kind of guy. And I don’t think you’re the kind of woman who would put up with that. But whatever he did, haven’t you punished him enough?”
He surprised me with this. I know my face showed that.
“I’m not, I’m not punishing him. He, we… it’s not…” I could feel the tightness starting in the back of my throat. I had to stop and swallow a few times. “I’m not punishing him. I’m just having a hard time dealing with my own emotions.”
“Then talk to him. He, Moon, he’s not handling this very good. Like, not at all. I’ve never seen him like this before. Even when Meagan was at her worst before she left, he wasn’t this bad. You guys need to fix this. I love you Moon. I love you with Dad. You make him happy. I told you that before you guys started dating. And I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him that first night at Pismo Beach. Don’t fuck this up. We like you.”
Bronx was right. I needed to fix this before I really fucked it up.
“You’re right. I’m making a mess of things. I don’t want to fuck this up.” I told him. I looked over at my incredible, amazing, wise beyond his years, bonus son, and smiled a true smile at him. “You know, you’re wiser than any seventeen year old has the right to be. When are you leaving for the beach? Would you be willing to keep an eye on the twins while I go talk to your Dad before he leaves?”
Bronx grinned at me “Go talk to him. I’m not leaving for a few hours. He was going to take a shower when I was coming down.”
I stood up to go upstairs. But before I did anything else, I leaned over and hugged him. “Thank you.” Then I dropped a kiss on the top of his head.
I went upstairs to our bedroom to find Pete. He was out of the shower. I found him in our walk-in closet, with just a towel wrapped around his waist. He was just looking at his clothes, but I don’t think he was actually seeing what was in front of him. He had a far away look on his face.
“Hey.” I said as I approached the closet door.
He whipped his head to look at me in surprise. This was the first time I had started a conversation with him in days. He flashed a quick smile before replying with, “Hey.”
“Do you have a few minutes before you need to leave for the studio? I, umm, I want to talk to you. I owe you an apology.” I asked him.
“I’m not going to the studio today. I have all the time you need.” He answered.
“Why aren’t you going to the studio?” I asked in surprise.
“Joe and I both wanted to be home when the kids got home. It’s the last day of school and we want to celebrate with them. I was thinking we could take them for ice cream.”
I smiled at that. “They’ll be very happy about that. Will you please come and talk with me?”
Pete only nodded.
“Get dressed and come talk to me. I’d rather do it with you dressed and not standing in the closet.” I said and gave him a small smile.
He pulled off the towel leaving him naked, and reached for some clothes. As nice as the view was, I turned and went to make up the bed.
He came out just a minute later. He was dressed, but it looked like he had put on whatever he grabbed first. Although, that wasn’t much different than what he normally wore. I was pulling the covers up and making the bed. He came over and helped me. When we were done I sat on the foot of the bed and patted the place next to me.
“Come sit with me.” I said. Pete sat next to me without a word.
“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting lately. I’ve been pushing you away and I’ve been punishing you for something that you don’t deserve to be punished for.” I stopped for a moment to gather my thoughts.
“Honey, I’m still not sure what I did to make you so mad, but I’m sorry.” Pete apologized.
“I’m not mad at you. Really, I’m not.” I told him as I met his eyes. “But I am very hurt by something you said.”
I dropped my eyes to my hands. I was trying to put into words how I was feeling.
“Are you upset that I used to have sex with Patrick?” He asked me. I could tell this is what he thought I was angry about.
“No. No, that’s not it at all. I wasn’t surprised by that. And that was so long ago, it'd be like you getting upset that I had sex with my college boyfriend. It just doesn’t matter. Who you’ve had sex with before me doesn’t matter at all.” I took a deep breath and continued. “That isn’t what bothered me. What upset me is the soulmate issue. I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to decide if I want to stay in a marriage with someone that doesn’t love me as much as I love them.” I flicked my eyes up to meet his. I could tell he was very confused by my statement.
“You think you love me more than I love you?” He asked softly but with real concern.
“I know I do.”
He started to deny that, but I just put my hand up and said, “Please let me finish. I need to tell you this.” He shut his mouth on what he was about to say and nodded.
“You see, I think of you as my soulmate.” I looked at him as I said that. I could see that surprised him. “Everything about us has been...it’s felt like our life together was preordained for us. Even how we met. To me, it’s felt like all the bad we’ve been through, the breakups, the struggles we’ve had, they all led to us meeting and finding happiness. You’re my ride or die. And it’s heartbreaking to know that you don’t see me the same way. I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I never thought of Dan as my soulmate, never thought of him as my ride or die. But I think that about you. And I’m having a very hard time accepting that you don’t.” I had to stop for a moment to get my voice and my tears under control. I swallowed hard and then continued. “So, I’m trying to decide if I can take my heart breaking over and over each time I’m reminded that you call him your soulmate. And I just don’t think I can.”
I stopped talking and just looked at him, pleading with my eyes for him to understand.
“I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry you feel that way. I’m such an idiot.” He said.
“No, you’re not. You just feel how you feel. And that’s ok. I feel how I feel and that’s ok too. I think I need a break from you, from us to…I don’t know. Find my way through this?”
“Are you asking for a divorce?” He sounded panicked.
I took a moment to think about my answer before saying, “No, not right now. I’m asking for some more time to get my head straight. I still want you to come out to the farm when you’re done recording. Come and spend some time with us out there.”
“I’ll be on a plane the day after we’re done. I love you Grace. More than anyone else. More than I love Patrick. So much more.” He told me with so much feeling I knew he was telling me the truth.
“I believe you. And, that helps.”
He had been sitting next to me, but hadn’t touched me. That had been our new normal and I hated it. I reached over and placed my hand on his. He grabbed it like a drowning man grabs the hand that reaches in to pull him out of the water.
“Please don’t leave me Grace. This is the happiest I’ve ever been. You, our family, I’ve never been this content before.”
I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder. This was something I had not done in weeks. He rested his cheek against the top of my head.
“I need to ask you for something. I need your guidance.” I said to him.
“I’ll help with anything I can. What do you need?” He asked the top of my head.
“I have a Zoom meeting with my new manager and publicist this afternoon. Would you please look after the twins while I talk with them? And maybe do it in the same room so you can hear what they tell me? I could use your advice.”
I could tell he was smiling when he said, “Of course I will.”
“Thank you.”
He lifted his head off of mine. I lifted mine too and looked at him. He gave me a very gentle smile and then kissed me softly.
It felt so good to be kissed by him. But I also wanted to keep the distance between us. I still didn’t know if I would be filing for divorce or not. I was going to give him time to convince me not too.
“I love you so fucking much. I’ll say it every hour on the hour for the rest of our lives if you need me to.” He told me.
“I love you too. More than you know.” I told him. I stood up and said, “I should probably relieve Bronx of the twins.”
“Wait! He can watch them for a few more minutes.” Pete said as he held tight to my hand. “Please, just… Please let me show you that I love you more than anyone. From now until you guys leave on Tuesday, let me prove to you that you’re my number one. Let me touch you. Let me hug you and kiss you. Please.”
I looked at him and could see the desperation in his eyes. I had missed him, his touch and I could use more hugs.
Nodding, I said, “Ok.”
Pete smiled with relief at that and stood up. He gently cupped my cheek and gave me a very sweet kiss. I kissed him back for the first time in weeks. I did love him and I did want his attention. When the kiss was over he folded me up in his arms and just hugged me tight. He rested his head on my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry you have thought, even for half a heartbeat, that I don’t think of you as my number one. You are. You mean the world to me. I don’t think I could ever get over you. If you want, we can go to couples therapy. If you think that would help.”
I hadn’t thought about that. “Ok. When we get back from South Carolina, if we feel we need it, we’ll go to therapy together.” I agreed.
Pete actually gave a sigh of relief at that. He pulled back from me and beamed his trademark grin. “Let me go relieve Bronx from twin duty. I know you haven’t been sleeping. Take a nap or a long shower or whatever you need to feel better. What time is your meeting?”
“1:30. I hope it doesn’t take too long.” I told him.
“Are you really considering giving up on your channel?”
“Yes. It doesn’t bring me joy anymore.”
“Is there anything we can do to change that?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
Pete started to leave but I stopped him. “Not yet.” I said as I leaned in and hugged him again. He didn’t say anything, but he held me tightly until I was ready to let go.
I did take advantage of his offer and took a long shower. It had been a few days since I’d had enough time to wash my hair and shave my legs in the same shower. Usually I picked one or the other.
When I went downstairs Bronx was packing up to leave. He saw me and smiled.
“Dad seems to be in a better mood. What about you?” He asked me.
“Yeah, we’re better.” I told him. “And thank you for the kick in the ass. I needed to hear it.”
He only flashed his father’s smile at me. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you guys talked. Can I take some of the bottles of water?”
“There’s a full case in the garage. Help yourself.” I told him.
Bronx left not too long after that. But not before the four of us got a hug and a kiss and a promise that we’d see him the next day.
Pete asked if I wanted to go swimming with him and the twins. He thought we could let them burn off all their energy so they would want to nap after lunch. That way he could pay more attention to the call I’ll be on. I thought it was a brilliant idea and agreed to join them. We had fun, the four of us.
I made us lunch after we were done swimming. Pete was right about the twins going down early for their nap. About half an hour before my call, they were sound asleep. Pete set up in the den with me but off camera. He had a pad of paper and a pen so he could take notes. I think he was more excited about this than I was.
Both my new manager and publicist were right on time. It wasn’t the first time I had talked to my manager. I had met her face to face the week before. She had a solid career in the field, and she only worked with authors. My possible publicist on the other hand was young and had just started his career. But he was eager and full of ideas. This was the first time I had talked to him for more than a quick ten minute call. I hadn’t actually hired him yet. We had agreed to meeting and letting him bring all his ideas to the table. I would decide after if I was going to hire him or not.
The conversation with my manager went like I had thought it would. We talked about what the publisher wanted. They loved the book and wanted to promote it. She was going to let me know when it would come out and when I could announce it. She also said the publisher wanted me to consider doing a book tour.
The publicist, Thomas, was more interested in my social media. I had over 250,000 subscribers on the YouTube channel. My channel has been a big success for most of the time I've had it. And my instagram had even more followers. He wanted to turn the channel and instagram into a big ad for the book. He wanted me to use Pete and the kids to promote the book and myself more. He was envisioning interviews on late night talk shows and morning news programs. All talking about being the wife of a musician and mother to the twins.
“I’m not comfortable with that.” I told him when I could interrupt him.
That took him by surprise. The look of shock on his face was almost comical. “But, why not? I mean, it’s what you have to work with, so why not?” He asked me.
All of a sudden, I didn’t really like this little prick.
“My husband and children are not props to be used for my benefit. They are on the channel because they want to be. And I only show what they’re comfortable with. I’m not even that comfortable with announcing the book on there.”
“But, but why not? I mean if only half of your followers bought a copy of the book, you’d have a best seller on your hands.” Thomas said enthusiastically.
“I don’t even use my real name on the channel. My family are seen, but they’re not the focus of the channel. I would be willing to make an announcement on both. But I’m not going to make it the only thing I talk about.”
This seemed to fluster Thomas. “But, you could have a captive audience. And let’s face it, most of your viewers are there because of Pete anyway.”
“No they’re not. I’ve only gained about 75 thousand since I announced I was moving in with Pete. Most of my viewers were with me before I even met him.”
Thomas made a face showing that he thought I was lying to him about that. “But, he’s the famous one in the family, you should use that to your advantage. And I think you need to change the name of your channel. Embrace your name. It should be the Grace Wentz channel.”
“No.”
Once again I had surprised him. “But,”
“I said no. Do not bring it up again.”
He huffed, Pete sniggered on the other side of the computer screen. I glanced up at him. He was trying not to laugh at this foolish little boy.
“Fine. Let’s talk about a book tour. Your publisher wants to release the book in the fall so it’s out for Christmas. I was thinking we’d go on tour around Christmas to promote sales.”
“No. I have children, that won’t work for me. Besides, I’m not sure when my husband and his band will be on tour again. We go with them, and I’m not going to leave him alone with four young kids while he’s working. And I’m not bringing two toddlers and two little kids with me without him.”
“Just have the nanny take care of them.” He said as he waved his hand dismissively.
“I don’t have a nanny. I’m not interested in having someone else raise my children.”
The look on this little prick's face was priceless. I could tell he didn’t understand why I didn’t have hired help. He had managed to piss me off in under ten minutes.
“Look, Thomas, I don’t think this is going to work. My family is more important to me than the book. So, let’s cut our losses and leave it here. I think I’m going to look elsewhere for a publicist. But I thank you for meeting with me and bringing your ideas. I appreciate your time and attention.” I said firmly.
“But, you haven’t heard all of my ideas. I also think you should,” he started to say.
“No, I’m not interested.” I said firmly. “Goodbye Thomas. And thanks again for your time today.” Then I disconnected the call.
Shutting my laptop I looked up at Pete. “What a prick.” I said exasperated.
Pete finally gave into his laughter. “He didn’t bother to do any research about you at all. Like you’d ever change the name of your channel. Or have a nanny.”
“What do you think about Maggie?” I asked him.
“She’s fine. Sounded pretty straight forward. I think you made a good choice with her. But that Thomas.” He stopped and chuckled. “You did the right thing with him. He wasn’t going to work out for you.” He told me.
That made me feel better about my decision to not work with Thomas. “Thank you for listening in. Your opinion matters to me.” I told him.
Pete just smiled and said, “Anytime you need me, my opinion, or my advice, I’m here.”
“Thank you.” I said as I looked at him. “I appreciate that very much.”
He flashed me a grin and then asked, “The twins have been down for about an hour. So, do you think they’ll stay asleep for a while?”
“They usually nap for about two hours. So, I’d say they’ll be asleep for at least another 45 minutes to an hour.” I answered.
He flashed me a look I hadn’t seen in a few weeks. I smiled in return. He stood up and crossed the room to me. He took my computer out of my hands and set it on the table next to the couch I was sitting on. Then, he straddled my legs and sat on my lap like I usually do with him. Grinning at me, he cupped my face with both hands and kissed me deeply. I kissed him back. My hands ran up his thighs, over his hips to his back.
Pulling back just enough from my lips to speak he said, “You are my church, my sanctuary. I want to get on my knees for you.” Then he kissed me again, deeply and full of passion.
When the kiss was over, and I had caught my breath, I said, “I always thought that was a euphemism for giving head.”
He still had both of his hands on my face, he was leaning his forehead against mine. He chuckled a little and said, “It is. But that doesn’t always mean a blow job. It also just means worshiping the person you love. And I love you.”
His hands ran down the sides of my neck, down my arms, then moved in between us to the button on my shorts. He fumbled with it trying to open it. His mouth moved to my neck, sucking on the tender skin behind my ear
“Let me worship you.” He breathed in my ear. “Please, I want to make you feel so good.” Then he sucked a hickey in the crook of my neck and shoulder.
I could only nod my agreement. He sat back just enough to unbutton the shirt I had on. Pulling it open he just admired me, with his eyes, his hands and his lips. He slid off my lap onto the floor in front of me. Pushing my legs apart he settled there. Reaching for the waistband of my shorts, he unbuttoned and unzipped them. He slowly undressed me enough to do what he wanted. He proceeded to worship me in a way he has never done before. He always spoke in poetry when we were truly intimate, but this was so different. This was confessions of love and devotion. He reminded me of why I loved him so much. It was probably the best sex we had ever had. And that was saying a lot.
After, as we lay half naked and tangled together on the couch in the den, I thought about the things he said as we made love. Without giving it too much thought, I said something I have always thought. Even before we met, I had thought this about him and his poetry.
“You should release a book of poetry. Have you ever thought about it?” I said.
He lifted his head from where he was resting it on my chest to look at me. “No. I, I guess I never really thought about it. Do you think I should?”
“Yes. I thought that before we even met. I would have bought it and read it if you had. Still would.”
He only hummed showing he was thinking about what I had said. We got up shortly after that and got redressed. Our love making session had broken down the walls I had put up. I was still hurt about the soulmate thing, and I still wanted a break from him for a week or so. I still felt that I needed it, but we closed the distance that had grown up between us. And that was a good thing.
When it was time, the four of us got the kids from the bus and took them out for ice cream to celebrate the end of the school year. Saint and Marvel both were in happy, excited moods. They both smiled a lot and talked excitedly about their day. We had a great time.
After ice cream, we went home and let the kids have a fun night. Food was easy and kid friendly with pizza and wings. And they got to stay up late.
That night when Pete and I eventually went to bed, it wasn’t cold and distant. He didn’t hesitate to reach for me and cuddle close. Things weren’t perfect and we still needed to do some healing, but I felt that we were headed in the right direction.
We did try to keep it from the kids. We didn’t act differently towards them. But they weren’t stupid, they knew something was going on. Even the twins picked up on it. More than once Star asked, “Mama sad?” Every time I would smile at her and say I was ok.
Bronx’s high school graduation was approaching fast. This was a big deal and Pete and Ashlee both wanted to make a fuss over it. And to be totally honest, so did Evan and I. We all agreed to host a party for him at his choice of locations and his choice of guest list with the exception of some close family and friends.
I decided to give Luna to him. He had taken her a few times by himself and had enjoyed the experience. That was something that only he and I had in common. I had built out Luna for one or maybe two people to camp or live in. For the most part she had been just sitting in the driveway not being used.
During those two weeks, I cleaned out Luna. I set up my camera and filmed it. I had the twins outside with me as I tried to clean her out. I pulled everything out of her, removed anything that was personal, washed the bedding and the plates, cutlery, and anything else that I was putting back in her. I vacuumed her out and washed down everything. And then with the twins' help, we washed the outside of Luna. They enjoyed that because I sprayed them with the hose and they got to play in the water.
Once she was all clean inside and out, I took her in for an oil change, new tires and just made sure she was safe and ready for a trip. Then, I signed the title over to him. I put the title and the keys in a small box and wrapped it up. I had also tucked in a paper letting him know that I would take care of the insurance on her while he was in school. I didn’t want him to worry about that while he was studying.
He was over at ours a few days before his graduation. I decided to give her to him that evening. Once the kids were all in bed, I asked him to take a walk with me. We left the house just him and I.
“Bronx, I asked you to come for a walk with me because I wanted to talk to you.” I told him as we walked down the street.
He glanced over at me with a question in his eyes. “What did you want to talk about?”
I smiled at him. “I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. And that I’m envious of you. I wish I was 18 again and about to go off to college. You’re gonna have such a good time. You’re gonna meet new people and learn new things. You’re going to have so many fun, and interesting experiences.”
Bronx grinned at me. “I’m really excited to go. I’m gonna miss all of you guys. But I’m ready for it.”
“And you should be. Look, I also wanted to talk to you away from your Dad and Mom. Because I’m going to tell you some things I know they won’t and as a parent, I’m sure they won’t like me telling you. But you're an adult or almost an adult now.” I said.
I stopped walking and turned to him. “Have fun at college. Go to parties, get drunk, get high, get laid. Be smart about it all, I’m not ready to be a Granny just yet, but do all of those things. Don’t neglect your studies, but don’t keep from having fun too. You’re young and this is the time for you to experiment and figure out who you are and what you want in life. You’re gonna make amazing friends and you’re gonna make amazing memories.”
Bronx laughed a big hearty laugh. “I promise, I’ll try to have fun.”
We continued our walk around the block.
“Moon, are you and Dad ok?” Bronx asked me as we walked.
“I don’t know. Things are a little tender right now. Why are you asking?” I know I hadn’t been completely normal around him or Pete for the past few weeks. But I was trying really hard to get over the hurt and disappointment I was feeling. I was still stuck on the fact Patrick was Pete’s soulmate and not me.
“Because Saint mentioned that you guys have been...off. He didn’t say you guys were fighting, just that you aren’t really talking. And you don’t sit next to him anymore. I haven’t seen you two kiss in weeks. And you haven’t been your normal upbeat self. You know Dad loves you, right?”
I nodded and said, “I know he loves me. But,” I stopped talking. I didn’t want to burden him with this.
“But what?” Bronx asked.
“I’m not his soulmate. It’s a kick in the chest to know that. But that isn’t anything you need to worry about. Your Dad and I will work it out one way or another.” I smiled up at him since he had had one last growth spurt and was now taller than I was.
“Do you think of Dad as your soulmate?” He asked me.
I didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes. I do or I did.”
Bronx didn’t say anything else about it. We talked about what he was looking forward to the most. When we got back to the house I stopped next to Luna.
“Bronx, one more thing. I have a gift for you.” I opened Luna’s passenger door and pulled the gift box out of the glovebox. “This is from me. Not your Dad and me, just me. Happy graduation!” I said as I handed it over.
He opened the box and as soon as he saw the keys he knew what the gift was.
“Are you giving me Luna?” He asked me not quite believing it.
“Yes I am. You’re the reason I don’t live in her anymore. She’s been sitting here for the past two years. Someone needs to take her out on adventures. It’s your turn now.”
He threw his arms around me and hugged me tight. “Thank you. Thank you so much!”
“If you need to, you can store her here. But she’s yours now. And I’ll continue to pay the insurance on her until you graduate from college. Have fun in her. I sure did.”
We headed inside after that. Bronx excitedly showed his father what I had done. Pete grinned at him and told him to have fun in her and to be careful.
Bronx headed to bed shortly after that and so did I. Pete followed me upstairs.
“I didn’t know you were going to give Luna to Bronx. But it made him very happy. It was really kind of you to do that.” He told me as we went up.
“I don’t use her anymore, she’s just not meant for more than one or two people. I want her to be used and enjoyed. I think it’s his turn to go on adventures. I don’t anymore.” I said without thinking. We weren’t going on adventures much anymore. It was just too much with the twins.
“What do you mean? We still go out and do things. We still have adventures.” Pete said surprised.
“Not like I used to. But that’s ok. I picked family over adventures. Doing it with four kids on my own just isn’t working. I’ve been thinking a lot about just stopping my channel. I don’t really have much content anymore. I don’t see the point of it. The channel is called Adventures with Girl in the Moon, and I don’t adventure anymore. So, why should I keep it up? No one really wants to see our boring day to day life. That wasn’t what I wanted for the channel, but that’s what it’s become. I don’t think I want to do it anymore.” I told him. I walked away from him before he could say anything else and went to wash my face and brush my teeth.
I came out a few minutes later changed and ready for bed. Pete headed in and got ready for bed. By the time he came out of the bathroom I was in bed, turned to face away from him. He didn’t say anything to me, just slid into bed and turned off the lights.
This distance between us was painful. But I couldn’t bring myself to roll over and ask for his attention. I knew he would if I made my wants known. But I can be stubborn and prideful. I wanted him to think of me as his soulmate. But it wasn’t something that could be forced. And I didn’t want lip service. I don’t want to be told it just because it was what I wanted to hear. I wanted it to be true and I knew it wasn’t.
I didn’t sleep much or well. I hadn’t been since the fight. I ended up slipping out of bed early in the morning long before anyone else in the house was up. To keep myself occupied I had my laptop so I could read through some comments on my last post. I just didn’t have the desire to keep up with the channel anymore. I decided that I needed a break from it. What I wanted was a break from my life. I wanted to leave all the kids, pets, and Pete behind and take off in Luna. I missed my old life. I wanted to take off and go backcountry camping. Be off grid and away from everything and everyone. I knew that I was never going to be able to do that again. I put my head down and just cried out all my hurt.
Pete was the first person to get up. He came down and found me in the kitchen.
“Grace? Are you alright?” He asked me very concerned.
“No. I’m not alright. Can you… No, never mind.” I said as I got up and wiped my face.
“What? What do you need from me?” Pete asked quickly.
“Nothing. I don’t need anything.” I said.
Pete just sighed and said, “Honey, please tell me what you need. Please. You have to start talking to me. We can’t go on like this.”
“I’m ok, don’t worry.” I told him and started making breakfast for the family. Today was the last day of school for Saint and Marvel. The next day was Bronx’s graduation and his party. The kids and I would be leaving for South Carolina in just four days.
I got coffee started and pulled out the eggs and bacon. Pete offered to get the twins up for me. I took him up on his offer. It gave me a minute to get myself together. He came down with all five of the children.
“Happy last day of school!” I said to the older ones when they came into the kitchen.
“Good morning Mommy!” Marvel greeted me with her beautiful smile.
“Morning Mom.” Saint said as he yawned.
“Mornin’ Moon.” Bronx said as he fixed a cup of coffee.
“Why are you up so early? You don’t have to be in school today.” I asked him.
“I’m planning on spending today at the beach with some friends.” He said with a yawn.
“That sounds like fun. Do you want me to pack you up some food or snacks?” I asked him as I started frying the bacon.
“Thanks Moon. I’ll probably take you up on that. But after breakfast.” Bronx said and then smiled at me.
Pete got the twins up in their chairs and ready to eat. I made big platters of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. I let everyone except Star and Jupiter fix their own plates. I sat with the twins on one side and Marvel on the other. Pete was across the table from me.
“Will you be here tonight?” Pete asked his son.
“No, I’m gonna be at Mom’s. She wants me there for the next few nights. She’s freaking out that I’m gonna be gone soon.” Bronx said.
“I understand that. I am too, you know.” He told his son and then grinned at him.
“Will we see you before we leave for the summer?” I asked him.
“When are you guys leaving?”
“Tuesday morning.”
“I’ll be over for dinner on Monday.” He assured me.
I smiled and said, “Good, we want to see you before we leave. Are you excited for tomorrow?”
Bronx grinned at me. “Very!”
Pete grinned back at him. “You should be. I’m so proud of you. And I’m having a hard time truly believing you’re all grown up. I never wanted you to grow up and leave us. But I know that was just wishful thinking as a parent.”
We ate breakfast and chatted with each other. I glanced at the clock and told the little kids to hurry up. They went up and got dressed for school. Pete and Bronx offered to clean up the kitchen for me. I took the babies and got them dressed for the day. Then it was time to take the kids to the bus. They said goodbye to their brother and father and I took them to the bus stop. When I got back my kitchen was clean and empty.
I got the twins something to play with and sat back down at the kitchen table. I should have gone up and cleaned up more for the day. I had a Zoom meeting later with my new manager and publicist. But I was regretting hiring them. I was regretting letting my editor send the book to the publisher. I didn’t want to deal with everything that went with that.
I was sitting at the table just doing nothing. I was lost in my own head. I was startled out of my thoughts when Star said, “Bonks!”
I looked up to see Bronx standing in the kitchen. He bent over and picked up his sister.
“Hello Star.” He said before he kissed her. He came over to the table and sat down across from me.
“Would you like me to get you something to take to the beach?” I offered.
“No, but thanks. I wanted to talk to you.” He said very seriously. He put Star down and said to her, “I need to talk to Mama. Go play with Jupiter.”
Once she had turned and started to walk away he turned his attention to me.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked him.
“I don’t know what Dad did. But I think I know him well enough to know he didn’t cheat on you. He’s not that kind of guy. And I don’t think you’re the kind of woman who would put up with that. But whatever he did, haven’t you punished him enough?”
He surprised me with this. I know my face showed that.
“I’m not, I’m not punishing him. He, we… it’s not…” I could feel the tightness starting in the back of my throat. I had to stop and swallow a few times. “I’m not punishing him. I’m just having a hard time dealing with my own emotions.”
“Then talk to him. He, Moon, he’s not handling this very good. Like, not at all. I’ve never seen him like this before. Even when Meagan was at her worst before she left, he wasn’t this bad. You guys need to fix this. I love you Moon. I love you with Dad. You make him happy. I told you that before you guys started dating. And I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him that first night at Pismo Beach. Don’t fuck this up. We like you.”
Bronx was right. I needed to fix this before I really fucked it up.
“You’re right. I’m making a mess of things. I don’t want to fuck this up.” I told him. I looked over at my incredible, amazing, wise beyond his years, bonus son, and smiled a true smile at him. “You know, you’re wiser than any seventeen year old has the right to be. When are you leaving for the beach? Would you be willing to keep an eye on the twins while I go talk to your Dad before he leaves?”
Bronx grinned at me “Go talk to him. I’m not leaving for a few hours. He was going to take a shower when I was coming down.”
I stood up to go upstairs. But before I did anything else, I leaned over and hugged him. “Thank you.” Then I dropped a kiss on the top of his head.
I went upstairs to our bedroom to find Pete. He was out of the shower. I found him in our walk-in closet, with just a towel wrapped around his waist. He was just looking at his clothes, but I don’t think he was actually seeing what was in front of him. He had a far away look on his face.
“Hey.” I said as I approached the closet door.
He whipped his head to look at me in surprise. This was the first time I had started a conversation with him in days. He flashed a quick smile before replying with, “Hey.”
“Do you have a few minutes before you need to leave for the studio? I, umm, I want to talk to you. I owe you an apology.” I asked him.
“I’m not going to the studio today. I have all the time you need.” He answered.
“Why aren’t you going to the studio?” I asked in surprise.
“Joe and I both wanted to be home when the kids got home. It’s the last day of school and we want to celebrate with them. I was thinking we could take them for ice cream.”
I smiled at that. “They’ll be very happy about that. Will you please come and talk with me?”
Pete only nodded.
“Get dressed and come talk to me. I’d rather do it with you dressed and not standing in the closet.” I said and gave him a small smile.
He pulled off the towel leaving him naked, and reached for some clothes. As nice as the view was, I turned and went to make up the bed.
He came out just a minute later. He was dressed, but it looked like he had put on whatever he grabbed first. Although, that wasn’t much different than what he normally wore. I was pulling the covers up and making the bed. He came over and helped me. When we were done I sat on the foot of the bed and patted the place next to me.
“Come sit with me.” I said. Pete sat next to me without a word.
“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting lately. I’ve been pushing you away and I’ve been punishing you for something that you don’t deserve to be punished for.” I stopped for a moment to gather my thoughts.
“Honey, I’m still not sure what I did to make you so mad, but I’m sorry.” Pete apologized.
“I’m not mad at you. Really, I’m not.” I told him as I met his eyes. “But I am very hurt by something you said.”
I dropped my eyes to my hands. I was trying to put into words how I was feeling.
“Are you upset that I used to have sex with Patrick?” He asked me. I could tell this is what he thought I was angry about.
“No. No, that’s not it at all. I wasn’t surprised by that. And that was so long ago, it'd be like you getting upset that I had sex with my college boyfriend. It just doesn’t matter. Who you’ve had sex with before me doesn’t matter at all.” I took a deep breath and continued. “That isn’t what bothered me. What upset me is the soulmate issue. I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to decide if I want to stay in a marriage with someone that doesn’t love me as much as I love them.” I flicked my eyes up to meet his. I could tell he was very confused by my statement.
“You think you love me more than I love you?” He asked softly but with real concern.
“I know I do.”
He started to deny that, but I just put my hand up and said, “Please let me finish. I need to tell you this.” He shut his mouth on what he was about to say and nodded.
“You see, I think of you as my soulmate.” I looked at him as I said that. I could see that surprised him. “Everything about us has been...it’s felt like our life together was preordained for us. Even how we met. To me, it’s felt like all the bad we’ve been through, the breakups, the struggles we’ve had, they all led to us meeting and finding happiness. You’re my ride or die. And it’s heartbreaking to know that you don’t see me the same way. I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I never thought of Dan as my soulmate, never thought of him as my ride or die. But I think that about you. And I’m having a very hard time accepting that you don’t.” I had to stop for a moment to get my voice and my tears under control. I swallowed hard and then continued. “So, I’m trying to decide if I can take my heart breaking over and over each time I’m reminded that you call him your soulmate. And I just don’t think I can.”
I stopped talking and just looked at him, pleading with my eyes for him to understand.
“I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry you feel that way. I’m such an idiot.” He said.
“No, you’re not. You just feel how you feel. And that’s ok. I feel how I feel and that’s ok too. I think I need a break from you, from us to…I don’t know. Find my way through this?”
“Are you asking for a divorce?” He sounded panicked.
I took a moment to think about my answer before saying, “No, not right now. I’m asking for some more time to get my head straight. I still want you to come out to the farm when you’re done recording. Come and spend some time with us out there.”
“I’ll be on a plane the day after we’re done. I love you Grace. More than anyone else. More than I love Patrick. So much more.” He told me with so much feeling I knew he was telling me the truth.
“I believe you. And, that helps.”
He had been sitting next to me, but hadn’t touched me. That had been our new normal and I hated it. I reached over and placed my hand on his. He grabbed it like a drowning man grabs the hand that reaches in to pull him out of the water.
“Please don’t leave me Grace. This is the happiest I’ve ever been. You, our family, I’ve never been this content before.”
I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder. This was something I had not done in weeks. He rested his cheek against the top of my head.
“I need to ask you for something. I need your guidance.” I said to him.
“I’ll help with anything I can. What do you need?” He asked the top of my head.
“I have a Zoom meeting with my new manager and publicist this afternoon. Would you please look after the twins while I talk with them? And maybe do it in the same room so you can hear what they tell me? I could use your advice.”
I could tell he was smiling when he said, “Of course I will.”
“Thank you.”
He lifted his head off of mine. I lifted mine too and looked at him. He gave me a very gentle smile and then kissed me softly.
It felt so good to be kissed by him. But I also wanted to keep the distance between us. I still didn’t know if I would be filing for divorce or not. I was going to give him time to convince me not too.
“I love you so fucking much. I’ll say it every hour on the hour for the rest of our lives if you need me to.” He told me.
“I love you too. More than you know.” I told him. I stood up and said, “I should probably relieve Bronx of the twins.”
“Wait! He can watch them for a few more minutes.” Pete said as he held tight to my hand. “Please, just… Please let me show you that I love you more than anyone. From now until you guys leave on Tuesday, let me prove to you that you’re my number one. Let me touch you. Let me hug you and kiss you. Please.”
I looked at him and could see the desperation in his eyes. I had missed him, his touch and I could use more hugs.
Nodding, I said, “Ok.”
Pete smiled with relief at that and stood up. He gently cupped my cheek and gave me a very sweet kiss. I kissed him back for the first time in weeks. I did love him and I did want his attention. When the kiss was over he folded me up in his arms and just hugged me tight. He rested his head on my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry you have thought, even for half a heartbeat, that I don’t think of you as my number one. You are. You mean the world to me. I don’t think I could ever get over you. If you want, we can go to couples therapy. If you think that would help.”
I hadn’t thought about that. “Ok. When we get back from South Carolina, if we feel we need it, we’ll go to therapy together.” I agreed.
Pete actually gave a sigh of relief at that. He pulled back from me and beamed his trademark grin. “Let me go relieve Bronx from twin duty. I know you haven’t been sleeping. Take a nap or a long shower or whatever you need to feel better. What time is your meeting?”
“1:30. I hope it doesn’t take too long.” I told him.
“Are you really considering giving up on your channel?”
“Yes. It doesn’t bring me joy anymore.”
“Is there anything we can do to change that?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
Pete started to leave but I stopped him. “Not yet.” I said as I leaned in and hugged him again. He didn’t say anything, but he held me tightly until I was ready to let go.
I did take advantage of his offer and took a long shower. It had been a few days since I’d had enough time to wash my hair and shave my legs in the same shower. Usually I picked one or the other.
When I went downstairs Bronx was packing up to leave. He saw me and smiled.
“Dad seems to be in a better mood. What about you?” He asked me.
“Yeah, we’re better.” I told him. “And thank you for the kick in the ass. I needed to hear it.”
He only flashed his father’s smile at me. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you guys talked. Can I take some of the bottles of water?”
“There’s a full case in the garage. Help yourself.” I told him.
Bronx left not too long after that. But not before the four of us got a hug and a kiss and a promise that we’d see him the next day.
Pete asked if I wanted to go swimming with him and the twins. He thought we could let them burn off all their energy so they would want to nap after lunch. That way he could pay more attention to the call I’ll be on. I thought it was a brilliant idea and agreed to join them. We had fun, the four of us.
I made us lunch after we were done swimming. Pete was right about the twins going down early for their nap. About half an hour before my call, they were sound asleep. Pete set up in the den with me but off camera. He had a pad of paper and a pen so he could take notes. I think he was more excited about this than I was.
Both my new manager and publicist were right on time. It wasn’t the first time I had talked to my manager. I had met her face to face the week before. She had a solid career in the field, and she only worked with authors. My possible publicist on the other hand was young and had just started his career. But he was eager and full of ideas. This was the first time I had talked to him for more than a quick ten minute call. I hadn’t actually hired him yet. We had agreed to meeting and letting him bring all his ideas to the table. I would decide after if I was going to hire him or not.
The conversation with my manager went like I had thought it would. We talked about what the publisher wanted. They loved the book and wanted to promote it. She was going to let me know when it would come out and when I could announce it. She also said the publisher wanted me to consider doing a book tour.
The publicist, Thomas, was more interested in my social media. I had over 250,000 subscribers on the YouTube channel. My channel has been a big success for most of the time I've had it. And my instagram had even more followers. He wanted to turn the channel and instagram into a big ad for the book. He wanted me to use Pete and the kids to promote the book and myself more. He was envisioning interviews on late night talk shows and morning news programs. All talking about being the wife of a musician and mother to the twins.
“I’m not comfortable with that.” I told him when I could interrupt him.
That took him by surprise. The look of shock on his face was almost comical. “But, why not? I mean, it’s what you have to work with, so why not?” He asked me.
All of a sudden, I didn’t really like this little prick.
“My husband and children are not props to be used for my benefit. They are on the channel because they want to be. And I only show what they’re comfortable with. I’m not even that comfortable with announcing the book on there.”
“But, but why not? I mean if only half of your followers bought a copy of the book, you’d have a best seller on your hands.” Thomas said enthusiastically.
“I don’t even use my real name on the channel. My family are seen, but they’re not the focus of the channel. I would be willing to make an announcement on both. But I’m not going to make it the only thing I talk about.”
This seemed to fluster Thomas. “But, you could have a captive audience. And let’s face it, most of your viewers are there because of Pete anyway.”
“No they’re not. I’ve only gained about 75 thousand since I announced I was moving in with Pete. Most of my viewers were with me before I even met him.”
Thomas made a face showing that he thought I was lying to him about that. “But, he’s the famous one in the family, you should use that to your advantage. And I think you need to change the name of your channel. Embrace your name. It should be the Grace Wentz channel.”
“No.”
Once again I had surprised him. “But,”
“I said no. Do not bring it up again.”
He huffed, Pete sniggered on the other side of the computer screen. I glanced up at him. He was trying not to laugh at this foolish little boy.
“Fine. Let’s talk about a book tour. Your publisher wants to release the book in the fall so it’s out for Christmas. I was thinking we’d go on tour around Christmas to promote sales.”
“No. I have children, that won’t work for me. Besides, I’m not sure when my husband and his band will be on tour again. We go with them, and I’m not going to leave him alone with four young kids while he’s working. And I’m not bringing two toddlers and two little kids with me without him.”
“Just have the nanny take care of them.” He said as he waved his hand dismissively.
“I don’t have a nanny. I’m not interested in having someone else raise my children.”
The look on this little prick's face was priceless. I could tell he didn’t understand why I didn’t have hired help. He had managed to piss me off in under ten minutes.
“Look, Thomas, I don’t think this is going to work. My family is more important to me than the book. So, let’s cut our losses and leave it here. I think I’m going to look elsewhere for a publicist. But I thank you for meeting with me and bringing your ideas. I appreciate your time and attention.” I said firmly.
“But, you haven’t heard all of my ideas. I also think you should,” he started to say.
“No, I’m not interested.” I said firmly. “Goodbye Thomas. And thanks again for your time today.” Then I disconnected the call.
Shutting my laptop I looked up at Pete. “What a prick.” I said exasperated.
Pete finally gave into his laughter. “He didn’t bother to do any research about you at all. Like you’d ever change the name of your channel. Or have a nanny.”
“What do you think about Maggie?” I asked him.
“She’s fine. Sounded pretty straight forward. I think you made a good choice with her. But that Thomas.” He stopped and chuckled. “You did the right thing with him. He wasn’t going to work out for you.” He told me.
That made me feel better about my decision to not work with Thomas. “Thank you for listening in. Your opinion matters to me.” I told him.
Pete just smiled and said, “Anytime you need me, my opinion, or my advice, I’m here.”
“Thank you.” I said as I looked at him. “I appreciate that very much.”
He flashed me a grin and then asked, “The twins have been down for about an hour. So, do you think they’ll stay asleep for a while?”
“They usually nap for about two hours. So, I’d say they’ll be asleep for at least another 45 minutes to an hour.” I answered.
He flashed me a look I hadn’t seen in a few weeks. I smiled in return. He stood up and crossed the room to me. He took my computer out of my hands and set it on the table next to the couch I was sitting on. Then, he straddled my legs and sat on my lap like I usually do with him. Grinning at me, he cupped my face with both hands and kissed me deeply. I kissed him back. My hands ran up his thighs, over his hips to his back.
Pulling back just enough from my lips to speak he said, “You are my church, my sanctuary. I want to get on my knees for you.” Then he kissed me again, deeply and full of passion.
When the kiss was over, and I had caught my breath, I said, “I always thought that was a euphemism for giving head.”
He still had both of his hands on my face, he was leaning his forehead against mine. He chuckled a little and said, “It is. But that doesn’t always mean a blow job. It also just means worshiping the person you love. And I love you.”
His hands ran down the sides of my neck, down my arms, then moved in between us to the button on my shorts. He fumbled with it trying to open it. His mouth moved to my neck, sucking on the tender skin behind my ear
“Let me worship you.” He breathed in my ear. “Please, I want to make you feel so good.” Then he sucked a hickey in the crook of my neck and shoulder.
I could only nod my agreement. He sat back just enough to unbutton the shirt I had on. Pulling it open he just admired me, with his eyes, his hands and his lips. He slid off my lap onto the floor in front of me. Pushing my legs apart he settled there. Reaching for the waistband of my shorts, he unbuttoned and unzipped them. He slowly undressed me enough to do what he wanted. He proceeded to worship me in a way he has never done before. He always spoke in poetry when we were truly intimate, but this was so different. This was confessions of love and devotion. He reminded me of why I loved him so much. It was probably the best sex we had ever had. And that was saying a lot.
After, as we lay half naked and tangled together on the couch in the den, I thought about the things he said as we made love. Without giving it too much thought, I said something I have always thought. Even before we met, I had thought this about him and his poetry.
“You should release a book of poetry. Have you ever thought about it?” I said.
He lifted his head from where he was resting it on my chest to look at me. “No. I, I guess I never really thought about it. Do you think I should?”
“Yes. I thought that before we even met. I would have bought it and read it if you had. Still would.”
He only hummed showing he was thinking about what I had said. We got up shortly after that and got redressed. Our love making session had broken down the walls I had put up. I was still hurt about the soulmate thing, and I still wanted a break from him for a week or so. I still felt that I needed it, but we closed the distance that had grown up between us. And that was a good thing.
When it was time, the four of us got the kids from the bus and took them out for ice cream to celebrate the end of the school year. Saint and Marvel both were in happy, excited moods. They both smiled a lot and talked excitedly about their day. We had a great time.
After ice cream, we went home and let the kids have a fun night. Food was easy and kid friendly with pizza and wings. And they got to stay up late.
That night when Pete and I eventually went to bed, it wasn’t cold and distant. He didn’t hesitate to reach for me and cuddle close. Things weren’t perfect and we still needed to do some healing, but I felt that we were headed in the right direction.
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