Categories > Cartoons > Strip Law
A drug addicted lawyer from Reno looking to clean up her act joins Lincoln Gumb and his rival Steve Nichols. Glem wants to get back in the dating game. Irene puts Glem trhough intense training.
Strip Law
Fanfic Title:
Queen of The Damned
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
In Las Vegas. There are some lawyers in two different law firms. Lincoln Gumb is one of them. His cases always come up as boring until he met local magician Sheila Flambe to help him spice up his act. Lincoln also has an overachiving niece who graduated high school early helping him named Irene.
Lincoln is also friends with Glem, lawyer who was disbarred for treason and then given a second chance. Steve Nichols is a rival lawyer who seems to have more charisma than Lincoln. To add insult to injury, Lincoln's abusive now deceased mother Marcia used to work for Steve. Lincoln likese to believe his mother is in hell dating Satan himself.
Lincoln's law firm is called Gumb Legal. Since Sheila joined his firm it's now called Gumb and Flambe. Steve's is valled Nichols and Gumb. (or at least it used to be)
Our story begins with Lincoln and Steve over at Glem's house arguing over who gets to make him a nice dinner. Lincoln was looking into Glem's freezer, while Steve is going through the pantry looking for pots and pans.
Steve: Hey, Lincoln. What's so interesting in the freezer?
Lincoln: There's a frozen pizza stuck in some ice.
Steve: You know, home cooked meals are from the heart. I think Glem would like that more than a frozen pizza.
Lincoln: Who the hell told you that, my mother? She's having dinner with Lucifer and...
Steve: I knew you were going to say that.
Lincoln: I just want Glem to have something simple.
Steve: Why? Don't want to bother taking the time to make a meal for your friend. Some friend you are to him.
Lincoln: Watch it!
Walking into the kitchen, Glem sees Lincoln and Steve.
Glem: Hey guys. Why are you both in my house?
Lincoln: Uhh, uhhh....
Steve: We were going to surprise you with this! (holds a pot full of gumbo) My family famous Nichols Gumbo!
Lincoln: Shit! I wanted to make him a frozen pizza.
Glem: Look guys, I appreciate what you're doing here for me. But it doesn't matter to me what we have for dinner together.
Lincoln: I'll let you win this time, Steve.
Steve: Come gather around! You're all going to love my gumbo!
Glem: This is what the dinner party is for anyway!
Scene 2:
Soon. Glem, Steve, and Lincoln were all having the gumbo. They were talking about court cases they've done.
Lincoln: My cases are going even better these days.
Steve: Mine are even better.
Lincoln: What else is new? You've always been a step above the curve with me.
Steve: The reason why you're getting more noterity is because you hired Sheila. If it werent for her you'd still be in a rut.
Glem: Great dinner you made, Steve. Want to know what I've been thinking about lately?
Lincoln: What is it?
Glem: Getting back in the dating game again. I want to find that special someone to share my life with.
Steve: You can use dating apps. I know of some.
Lincoln: Steve! Stop! We should let Glem decide how he wants to date.
Glem: I want to meet one up close and personal. No apps, no texts, no internet or nothing like that.
Lincoln: There's a speed dating place that recently opened.
Steve: Yeah if you want to get 40 Year Old Virgin all over it....
Glem: Maybe you guys can help me find one.
Lincoln: I know some strip joints that put Coyote Ugly to shame.
Steve: I know some better ones and.....
Before Steve and Lincoln can try to one up each other. Lincoln's phone rings. He grabs it.
Lincoln: Hello?
Glem (to Steve): I just don't want my life to be all alone and all about work.
Steve: Understandable.
Sheila was on the other end of Lincoln's phone. The call was one sided.
Lincoln (on phone): Oh Sheila! How are you doing? What? There's a new lawyer that wants to join our firm? It's a woman? She's from Reno? OKay, I'll be over tommorow. Goodbye! (hangs up phone)
Glem: Was that Sheila?
Lincoln: Yes it was. And there's a new lawyer joining our firm. A woman! This could be your lucky break!
Glem: Yes!
Lincoln: Let us get to know her first before we introduce her.
Glem: OKay.
Steve: You should go see her right this minute...
Lincoln: We agreed we were going to let Glem do this his way!
Steve: Fine! (rolls eyes)
When the surprise dinner was done. Glem gives thanks to Lincoln and Steve as they depart from his house. Glem looks at himself in a mirror.
Glem: Fuck I've gained a whole lot of weight over the years. Can't let her see me like this.
Scene 3:
The next day at Lincoln Gumb's Law Firm. He meets Sheila at his desk. Beside her is the new lawyer from Reno. Her name was Wanda. She was wearing sunglasses due to her eyesight being a little damaged from drug use. Irene was there as well. Sheila and Wanda were sitting at a table in the office. Irene and Lincoln soon join.
Irene: Uncle Lincoln. You're here to meet the new girl.
Lincoln: I sure am.
Sheila: I want you guys all to meet our newest member...Wanda! (makes magic sparks fly around Wanda)
Irene: Nice to meet you, Wanda.
Lincoln: Welcome to our Law Firm.
Wanda: Charmed I'm sure.
Lincoln: Where did you find her, Sheila?
Steve walks in. Everyone soon takes notice.
Lincoln: What are you doing here?
Steve: Glem called me and told me you hired a new lawyer. Just had to see her for myself. (to Wanda) Are you sure you don't want to work for me instead?
Wanda: She's already decided she wants to work with us. So you're too late.
Steve: Looks to me like she's trying to escape.
Irene: From what?
Steve: From life, what else.
Irene: Yeah, like you're addicted to your reputation as a lawyer.
Steve: Reputation! I am not addicted to my reputation! That's just an act I put on!
Sheila: Why in the world would anyone want to escape life! It's so awesome! Go outside! Run around! Learn magic! Sing a song fall in love! Now where were we....
Lincoln: Where you found Wanda.
Sheila: Oh yes, I found her in a Host Program.
Irene: What's a host program?
Sheila: It's where we show around new lawyers in our firm, try to help them fit in and make friends.
Wanda: I wouldn't be friends with you.
Sheila: Why not? I'd be the best type of friend you'll have. I'm honest, I'm loyal and those are quailities that are hard to find. Also, you'll love my magic tricks.
Wanda: Oh gosh. Do you guys know any drug dealers?
Lincoln: No we are above that stuff. We're a moral high ground.
Irene: That's right. The only drug dealers we know are the ones my uncle's clients testify against.
Steve: Duh, isnt it obvious. The bitch wants to buy drugs.
Sheila: Technically now I'm in a bad psotion. Because I am supposed to report you now, but call my crazy a part of me still thinks we can be friends.
Wanda: I DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU! You're annoying!
Sheila: And you're a wasteoid.
Steve: Who is she, an overgrown Daria?
Lincoln: You know, Wanda. There's more to life than just drugs.
Irene: Yeah, nurture your body with sunshine or something! That would be better than poluting with fucking chemicals.
Lincoln: I got a plan. We know all the hot spots here in Vegas. We will show you the time of your life.
Steve: The best rehab is exposure!
Lincoln: Come with us all of you. (To Wanda) When we get through with you, you'll forget all about drugs!
Following Lincoln to his car. Irene, Steve, Wanda, and Sheila all go inside and Lincoln drives down to a muddy culvert in Henderson.
Scene 4:
When Lincoln's car stops at the muddle culvert. Irene, Sheila, Wanda, Steve, and Lincoln all get out and Lincoln and Steve lead the way. Irene gets a call on her cellphone.
Irene (answers cellphone): Hello?
On the other end it was Glem.
Glem: Irene? Is your uncle there?
Irene: He is but he's kind of busy.
Glem: OKay, later on I'm going to need your help.
Irene: All right, I'm open to it.
Glem: I need you to help me get in shape because Lincoln promised me a date with that new woman who joined your law firm.
Irene: Sure, sounds good. I can show you the tricks of the trade.
Glem: Meet me at my house tommorow.
Irene: We'll do, bye.
Steve: How is this culvert supposed to help Wanda appreciate life and not want to do drugs?
Wanda (looks down at the muddy culvert): What is this place?
Lincoln: This is a lake I bring my clients to when they need to calm down.
Steve (scoffs and snickers) yeah right. (To Lincoln) This isn't a lake. Where's the house?! I sure as hell don't see a mailbox here that Keanu Reeves used to write letters to Sandra Bullock that arrive two years later!
Lincoln (takes off shirt): All right! I'm jumping off this bridge! Who wants to join! BLAST OFF!
Jumping into the muddy culvert from the bridge, Lincoln looks up at everyone.
Lincoln: Come on in! The water is great!
Irene: You could end up killing yourselves over this.
Sheila: I'll go.
Wanda: Me too, whatever!
Steve soon takes off his shirt is about to jump in. Irene walks off.
Irene: Sorry I can't be here for this.
Steve: Why not?
Irene: Glem wants my help with something. See you guys back in the office.
Steve (jumps in): Check out my famous swan dive!
Lincoln: He's going for a swan dive everyone!
Steve was swimming around. Lincoln gets out of the water and finds a rope to try to go fishing. Sheila and Wanda were talking.
Lincoln: You guys coming in?
Sheila: I'm not going in there! It looks disgusting!
Wanda: I think it looks really cool.
Sheila: It is definately cool! I didn't say it wasn't cool.....
Lincoln: Oh my gosh! Stop fucking talking about it and go in already!
Sheila takes off her shoes and goes into the water. Wanda stays sitting on a rock drawing a symbol on her arm. Steve swims by her.
Steve: Wow, you're a talented artist, Wanda! I draw sometimes too! But my job keeps getting in the way.
Wanda: My job back in Reno was the worst. Ever since my boss found out I was on drugs, he treated me like shit.
Steve: Getting hassled by a boss can really destroy your mental health.
Wanda: Yeah, I hate my life!
Lincoln: (pulls up a wagon): I got one! I feels huge.
Pulling the rope from the mud, Lincoln pulled up a wagon.
Lincoln: Son of a bitch! It's a fucking Radio Flyer!
Sheila (In the mud): Are you coming in at all, Wanda?
Wanda (crushing pills on a law book): Yeah, I'll be in in a minute.
Sheila (gasps): Are those my pills?!?!?
Wanda: Yeah, I secretly stole them from you when we were talking back at Lincoln what's-his-names office.
Lincoln: You on drugs too?
Sheila: No it's my period meds.
Lincoln and Steve watch Wanda.
Steve: Look, she's snorting them.
Lincoln: She must be a coke addict!
Sheila: Wanda! You're not going to get high from those! They're just going to make you drowsy!
Wanda: I don't give a shit!
Shelia (points to Wanda): That's it! YOU'RE OUT OF THE PROGRAM!
Wanda: Good! I never liked it anyway!
Lincoln: Hey, stop being an asshole and give it a go!
Steve: Hey, hey! She's in a rough situation in life. Let's try to be more understanding!
Lincoln: Who died and made you the moral superiority!
Sheila (struggling in the mud): ERRR...EEERRR....ERRRRR.... (lashes out) PIECE OF SHIT!
Steve: You okay?
Sheila: I have mud in my mouth
Lincoln: You know, maybe we should take Wanda home. (To Wanda); Where do you live?
Wanda: In my ex-boyfriends house. It's just a block away from here.
Lincoln puts Wanda in the wagon to take her home. Steve, Wanda, and Sheila soon follow.
Scene 5:
At Lincoln Gumb's Law Office. Irene was cleaning up the place. That was until Glem walks in.
Irene: Glem. What brings you here? I thought you wanted to see me tommorow.
Glem: I thought it over. It can't wait.
Irene: Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
Glem: What is this new girl like? Have you meet her?
Irene: From what I can tell she's a depressed drug addict and Lincoln, Steve, and Shiela are taking around to show her that life is beautiful.
Glem: Wasn't that a Holocause movie?
Irene: I guess. So anyway, back to reality. How do you want me to help you shape up before meeting this girl?
Glem: Oh just the basics.
Irene: Want to be a body builder like me? (flexs arms)
Glem: (laughs) No I won't go that far. Just coach me to excercise and eat right for the next few days.
Irene: It's settled. Good thing I know where the local YMCA is.
Back in Henderson, Wanda finds herself being pulled on a Radio Flyer wagon.
Wanda: Ooooh, I'm tired.
Lincoln: That's because you snorted Midol you dumbass bitch! You're ruining your own brain. As a wise old man once said, "The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste!" (to Steve): How much more farther can this place be?
Steve (holds Wanda's ID): Here's her ID so it shouldn't be too far.
Walking some more, Steve, Lincoln, and Shiela see what appears to be a huge mansion in front of them.
Wanda: Yeah, that's my house. It's a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Sheila: See what drugs do to you? You're making references to shows that have no relation to what you're impling!
Lincoln: You still got some mud on you.
Sheila: Fuck! You're right. I know! Lucky for me, I got great magic abilities.
Using her magic, Sheila is able to change her outfit with her magic.
Sheila: There! That's better.
Steve (looks at the mansion): Damn! You must be loaded!
Lincoln: is it okay if we come inside.
Wanda: Yeah, sure. Knock yourselves out. Whatever.
Going inside Wanda's mansion. Lincoln, Sheila, and Stever were impressed with the layout.
Steve: Wow! This is totally kick ass!
Lincoln: You can build an airplane hanger in here!
Shiela: No shit there!
Wanda: Carry me over to the couch, please.
Lincoln, Steve, and Sheila help Wanda onto the couch.
Sheila: I envy whatever law firm it was you worked for!
Lincoln: I know right! Your clients must be loaded!
Wanda: Actually I only helped poor people. I didn't really want the rich lifestyle.
Steve: How are you able to afford this place then?
Wanda: It was originally my boyfriend's house. Then he got mad at me when he found out I was a druggie and tried to flush my drugs down the toilet.
Lincoln: Sounds like African Queen.
Steve: Please do go on.
Wanda: Then my boyfriend wanted to show me 'tough love' and he slapped and hit me. I called the cops and said he was abusing me. He is in jail now and I took over this place.
Sheila: It's never okay to get physical with people but it's never okay to do drugs.
Wanda: Oh great! Here comes the lecture. Bring on the intervention.
Lincoln: No not right now. But sometime down the road would do you some good.
Steve: In fact, we got a proposition for you.
Wanda: Okay, what is it?
Lincoln: A man who works at my law firm named Glem Blorchman. He hasn't been on a date in a long time and he really wants to meet you.
Wanda: Wow, really?
Steve: Yes, in fact. If you agree to this deal. We'll take the week off from our lawyer jobs and show you around Vegas!
Sheila: Yes and as an extra added bonus, you can come see one of my magic shows! Deal?
Wanda: OKay I'll do it. Just got out of a really bad relationship as you already know.
Lincoln: Once we get through with you, you'll never give drugs a second thought again!
Steve, Sheila, and Lincoln all decide to put their plan to hook up Wanda with Glem into motion.
Scene 6:
At the local YMCA in Las Vegas. Glem is being lead by Irene.
Glem: Know of any good excercise programs here that can help get me in shape for my big date.
Irene: Sure, let me surprise you!
As Irene was leading Glem into the YMCA. Irene signed in at the front desk, Glem is at the front desk too. He pays money to work at the gym.
Glem: I'm ready for this. Where is the place with all the equipment?
Irene: Oh no. We're not using equipment.
Glem: We're not? Then what's the point of coming here?
Irene: There's more to the YMCA than just the gym.
Glem: What are you implying?
Irene: I signed you up for a dance class.
Glem: Dance! But I can't dance at all!
Irene: Nonsense! You just don't know it yet!
Glem: Shit! I knew somehow you were going to say that. That's what they all say! Then a huge disaster happens!
Irene: Isn't that what people who go on dates do? Go to dances? Or to movies and the whatnot?
Glem: Fine, I'm willing to try it.
Going into a huge gymnasium that is empty. Aside from a mirrors. Irene walks to the front of the gym as Glem follows her.
Glem: This gym is so empty. Where are the other dance students?
Irene: We have this gym to ourselves for the time being.
Glem: Where do we begin.
Getting a yard stick, Irene orders Glem around.
Irene: From here on out. You're going to do everything I tell you to. Ready?
Glem: Okay.
Irene: Do everything I do! And begin!
Showing Glem some dance moves, Irene has him follow her every move while she's pounding the yard stick on the gym floor.
Irene: Keep it up! 1..2...3...
Glem was breathing as he was trying to keep up with Irene's dance moves.
Irene: Go go go go go! now I'm going to be like Debbie Allen from Fame!
Glem: I'm getting the hang on it! I'm a regular Gene Kelly!
Irene: Jump side to side! And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4! And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4!
Glem was doing his best to try to master the dance move Irene was teaching him.
Scene 7:
Driving around Las Vegas. Lincoln stops at a theme park.
Wanda: A theme park? How is this going to help me?
Lincoln: This is where people here in Vegas usually go on dates.
Steve: Yeah, don't you want to go on the Tunnel of Love! Like that Bruce Springsteen song?
Sheila: Give us a week, and you'll be drug free by the time you go on your date!
Wanda: Sure.
Madness House of Fun begins to play. On Monday Lincoln, Steve, and Sheila take Wanda to the theme park. And Glem was still going under vigorious traning with Irene to learn how to dance. On Tuesday, Steve, Lincoln, and Sheila take Wanda to one of Sheila's magic shows. On Wednesday, Lincoln, Steve, and Sheila take Wanda to a park. On Thursday it was a Discotech. On Friday, it was going to a mall. Once the mission was complete, Wanda had not touched any drugs at all and seemed to be clean. Song ends.
Wanda: Wow! I feel like a whole new woman!
Lincoln: Perfect! You're ready!
Steve: Which of these places are we going to have these two meet?
Sheila: We were just taking Wanda to these places if things work out between the two.
Wanda: Where am I going to meet this guy?
Lincoln: I got it! Tommorow we'll have a sorire at my place in my backyard.
A cell phone rings.
Lincoln: I'll get that. (answers cellphone) Hello.
Glem (on phone): Lincoln? Is that you!
Lincoln (on phone): Sure is buddy!
Glem (on phone): Your niece sure packs a wallop when it comes to dance moves.
Lincoln (on phone): That's Irene all right.
Glem (on phone): She really helped me out this past week!
Lincoln (on phone): We helped our your soon to be date too!
Glem (on phone): So when do I get to meet Wanda?
Lincoln (on phone): What better time than on Saturday night in my backyard at my sorirre!
Glem (on phone): Sounds great! I'll be there! Or be square!
Lincoln (on phone): OKay maybe if things work out you can take her to all those fun places here in Vegas!
Glem (on phone): I'm sure I will. Goodbye.
Lincoln (on phone): You too, bye!
As Lincoln hangs up his cellphone. Steve has a plan.
Steve: Come on everyone! Let's not be lazy slackers! We have a sorirree to plan!
Sheila: And play matchmaker to boot!
Lincoln: It's on!
Scene 8:
Saturday night was here. The Soiree was about to begin. Wanda was sitting on the picnic table nervous. Sheila tries to calm her down.
Sheila: I know it's never easy to wait for a blind date.
Wanda: What if everything fucks up?
Lincoln (looks around): We ought to have more decor for this. Sheila! Care to help here?
Sheila: No problem!
Using her magic the decor for the Soiree was now looking very lavish.
Steve: I'll hire you for decorations if I ever want to go on a date! (cooking on a grill)
Glem enters the Soiree in Lincoln's backyard, Irene was behind him.
Irene: Ladies and gentlemen! I hearby introduce you to the new and improved Glem Blorchman!
Glem: Thank you thank you! I'll be here all week. So who's the lucky lady today?
Wanda (walks up to Glem): That would be me.
Glem: Care to dance? I know all about it!
Wanda: Sure!
Lincoln turns on a radio and Genesis Man On The Corner plays. Sheila, Steve, and Lincoln were watching with a whole new positive outlook for both Glem and Wanda.
Scene 9:
More music plays from the radio this time Hall and Oates One on One plays as Glem and Wanda begin to dance. Glem is surprisingly nimble thanks to Irene’s training.
Glem: See? I told you—I’m a natural!
Wanda (half-smiling): Yeah… you’re something, alright.
Across the yard, Lincoln flips burgers while Steve critiques his technique.
Steve: You’re burning them.
Lincoln: It’s called char, you uncultured snob.
Suddenly, the gate bursts open. A group of Vegas degenerates stumble in—half-drunk tourists, a guy in an Elvis suit, two showgirls, and a shirtless dude carrying a slot machine.
Degenerate #1: Yo! We heard there was a free party!
Lincoln: Who the hell are you people?!
Steve: You're not invited! This is a private Soiree! SO FUCK OFF!!!
Elvis Guy: Thank you very much, we’re crashing it.
Steve (annoyed): Great. Fantastic. This is exactly what this evening needed.
Within seconds, the party devolves into chaos—people grabbing food, dancing wildly, someone plugging in a karaoke machine. One of the degenerates starts playing and singing Miss Murder By AFI
Sheila: Ooooh! Impromptu audience! I love it!
Getting an idea, Sheila starts doing magic tricks for the degenerates. But the degenerates ignore her.
Lincoln: Since when did this party go emo! It's supposed to be swanky and sophisticated!
Steve: I want want to hear this honky music man!
Irene (dancing): This is my favorite type of music. Learn to live with it!
Scene 10:
Back near the dance area, Glem notices Wanda looking uneasy.
Glem: Hey… you okay?
Hesitating for while. Wanda thinking for a moment. Then sighs.
Wanda: I gotta be honest with you… I haven’t been clean.
Glem: What?
Wanda: That whole week? I just… hid it better.
Glem (steps back looking stunned) So all of this—everything they did—it meant nothing?
Wanda (defensive): It’s not that simple!
Glem: You lied to me before we even started!
Wanda: Oh, like you’re perfect? You had to be trained how to dance just to talk to me!
Glem: At least I was trying! Even if I did have to get help from a teenager.
Their voices rise as the party chaos swirls around them.
Wanda: You don’t get it! This isn’t something I can just turn off!
Glem:
Then maybe you shouldn’t be dating anyone right now!
Wanda (hurt): …Maybe I shouldn’t be dating you.
They stare at each other—then turn away.
Scene 11:
Wanda stumbles slightly. Wanda takes a few steps… then suddenly collapses onto the ground.
Glem (still angry): Yeah, just walk away!
The degenerates even all look with concern.
Elvis Impresonator: Think we crashed the wrong party.
Sheila: Oh my god!
Irene: She’s not breathing right!
Steve: Call 911! Now!
The party screeches to a halt. Even the degenerates go quiet.
Lincoln (panicking): This was supposed to be a nice dinner party follow-up thing!
Sirens approach. The paramedics came and took Wanda away on a stretcher.
Scene 12 Conclusion:
Bright lights. Chaos. Doctors rush Wanda through on a still on a stretcher.
Doctor: Possible overdose—get her stabilized!
Feeling guilt tumble over him. Glem stands frozen in the hallway.
Glem: I… I didn’t mean…
Irene (softly): You couldn’t have known.
Steve, Lincoln, and Sheila stand nearby, unusually quiet. Days later. The group stands outside a mental health facility.
Lincoln: So… she’s gonna be here a while.
Steve: Probably for the best.
Sheila: I still think she would’ve liked my magic show.
Awkward silence.
Glem: Guess I’m not ready for dating after all.
Lincoln:
Hey… neither was she.
More awkward silence.
Steve (shrugs): So… dinner?
Glem: Yeah. Dinner sounds good.
Lincoln: Frozen pizza?
Steve: Absolutely not.
Glem (half-smiles): Honestly… I don’t care what we eat.
Sheila: Back to our lawyer jobs tommorow!
They all start walking off together. Behind them, one of the Vegas degenerates is somehow stuck in a bush outside the facility.
Degenerate (faintly): …worth it…
THE END
This is the first ever fanfic about the new Netflix animated series. Strip Law! Please review.
Strip Law
Fanfic Title:
Queen of The Damned
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
In Las Vegas. There are some lawyers in two different law firms. Lincoln Gumb is one of them. His cases always come up as boring until he met local magician Sheila Flambe to help him spice up his act. Lincoln also has an overachiving niece who graduated high school early helping him named Irene.
Lincoln is also friends with Glem, lawyer who was disbarred for treason and then given a second chance. Steve Nichols is a rival lawyer who seems to have more charisma than Lincoln. To add insult to injury, Lincoln's abusive now deceased mother Marcia used to work for Steve. Lincoln likese to believe his mother is in hell dating Satan himself.
Lincoln's law firm is called Gumb Legal. Since Sheila joined his firm it's now called Gumb and Flambe. Steve's is valled Nichols and Gumb. (or at least it used to be)
Our story begins with Lincoln and Steve over at Glem's house arguing over who gets to make him a nice dinner. Lincoln was looking into Glem's freezer, while Steve is going through the pantry looking for pots and pans.
Steve: Hey, Lincoln. What's so interesting in the freezer?
Lincoln: There's a frozen pizza stuck in some ice.
Steve: You know, home cooked meals are from the heart. I think Glem would like that more than a frozen pizza.
Lincoln: Who the hell told you that, my mother? She's having dinner with Lucifer and...
Steve: I knew you were going to say that.
Lincoln: I just want Glem to have something simple.
Steve: Why? Don't want to bother taking the time to make a meal for your friend. Some friend you are to him.
Lincoln: Watch it!
Walking into the kitchen, Glem sees Lincoln and Steve.
Glem: Hey guys. Why are you both in my house?
Lincoln: Uhh, uhhh....
Steve: We were going to surprise you with this! (holds a pot full of gumbo) My family famous Nichols Gumbo!
Lincoln: Shit! I wanted to make him a frozen pizza.
Glem: Look guys, I appreciate what you're doing here for me. But it doesn't matter to me what we have for dinner together.
Lincoln: I'll let you win this time, Steve.
Steve: Come gather around! You're all going to love my gumbo!
Glem: This is what the dinner party is for anyway!
Scene 2:
Soon. Glem, Steve, and Lincoln were all having the gumbo. They were talking about court cases they've done.
Lincoln: My cases are going even better these days.
Steve: Mine are even better.
Lincoln: What else is new? You've always been a step above the curve with me.
Steve: The reason why you're getting more noterity is because you hired Sheila. If it werent for her you'd still be in a rut.
Glem: Great dinner you made, Steve. Want to know what I've been thinking about lately?
Lincoln: What is it?
Glem: Getting back in the dating game again. I want to find that special someone to share my life with.
Steve: You can use dating apps. I know of some.
Lincoln: Steve! Stop! We should let Glem decide how he wants to date.
Glem: I want to meet one up close and personal. No apps, no texts, no internet or nothing like that.
Lincoln: There's a speed dating place that recently opened.
Steve: Yeah if you want to get 40 Year Old Virgin all over it....
Glem: Maybe you guys can help me find one.
Lincoln: I know some strip joints that put Coyote Ugly to shame.
Steve: I know some better ones and.....
Before Steve and Lincoln can try to one up each other. Lincoln's phone rings. He grabs it.
Lincoln: Hello?
Glem (to Steve): I just don't want my life to be all alone and all about work.
Steve: Understandable.
Sheila was on the other end of Lincoln's phone. The call was one sided.
Lincoln (on phone): Oh Sheila! How are you doing? What? There's a new lawyer that wants to join our firm? It's a woman? She's from Reno? OKay, I'll be over tommorow. Goodbye! (hangs up phone)
Glem: Was that Sheila?
Lincoln: Yes it was. And there's a new lawyer joining our firm. A woman! This could be your lucky break!
Glem: Yes!
Lincoln: Let us get to know her first before we introduce her.
Glem: OKay.
Steve: You should go see her right this minute...
Lincoln: We agreed we were going to let Glem do this his way!
Steve: Fine! (rolls eyes)
When the surprise dinner was done. Glem gives thanks to Lincoln and Steve as they depart from his house. Glem looks at himself in a mirror.
Glem: Fuck I've gained a whole lot of weight over the years. Can't let her see me like this.
Scene 3:
The next day at Lincoln Gumb's Law Firm. He meets Sheila at his desk. Beside her is the new lawyer from Reno. Her name was Wanda. She was wearing sunglasses due to her eyesight being a little damaged from drug use. Irene was there as well. Sheila and Wanda were sitting at a table in the office. Irene and Lincoln soon join.
Irene: Uncle Lincoln. You're here to meet the new girl.
Lincoln: I sure am.
Sheila: I want you guys all to meet our newest member...Wanda! (makes magic sparks fly around Wanda)
Irene: Nice to meet you, Wanda.
Lincoln: Welcome to our Law Firm.
Wanda: Charmed I'm sure.
Lincoln: Where did you find her, Sheila?
Steve walks in. Everyone soon takes notice.
Lincoln: What are you doing here?
Steve: Glem called me and told me you hired a new lawyer. Just had to see her for myself. (to Wanda) Are you sure you don't want to work for me instead?
Wanda: She's already decided she wants to work with us. So you're too late.
Steve: Looks to me like she's trying to escape.
Irene: From what?
Steve: From life, what else.
Irene: Yeah, like you're addicted to your reputation as a lawyer.
Steve: Reputation! I am not addicted to my reputation! That's just an act I put on!
Sheila: Why in the world would anyone want to escape life! It's so awesome! Go outside! Run around! Learn magic! Sing a song fall in love! Now where were we....
Lincoln: Where you found Wanda.
Sheila: Oh yes, I found her in a Host Program.
Irene: What's a host program?
Sheila: It's where we show around new lawyers in our firm, try to help them fit in and make friends.
Wanda: I wouldn't be friends with you.
Sheila: Why not? I'd be the best type of friend you'll have. I'm honest, I'm loyal and those are quailities that are hard to find. Also, you'll love my magic tricks.
Wanda: Oh gosh. Do you guys know any drug dealers?
Lincoln: No we are above that stuff. We're a moral high ground.
Irene: That's right. The only drug dealers we know are the ones my uncle's clients testify against.
Steve: Duh, isnt it obvious. The bitch wants to buy drugs.
Sheila: Technically now I'm in a bad psotion. Because I am supposed to report you now, but call my crazy a part of me still thinks we can be friends.
Wanda: I DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU! You're annoying!
Sheila: And you're a wasteoid.
Steve: Who is she, an overgrown Daria?
Lincoln: You know, Wanda. There's more to life than just drugs.
Irene: Yeah, nurture your body with sunshine or something! That would be better than poluting with fucking chemicals.
Lincoln: I got a plan. We know all the hot spots here in Vegas. We will show you the time of your life.
Steve: The best rehab is exposure!
Lincoln: Come with us all of you. (To Wanda) When we get through with you, you'll forget all about drugs!
Following Lincoln to his car. Irene, Steve, Wanda, and Sheila all go inside and Lincoln drives down to a muddy culvert in Henderson.
Scene 4:
When Lincoln's car stops at the muddle culvert. Irene, Sheila, Wanda, Steve, and Lincoln all get out and Lincoln and Steve lead the way. Irene gets a call on her cellphone.
Irene (answers cellphone): Hello?
On the other end it was Glem.
Glem: Irene? Is your uncle there?
Irene: He is but he's kind of busy.
Glem: OKay, later on I'm going to need your help.
Irene: All right, I'm open to it.
Glem: I need you to help me get in shape because Lincoln promised me a date with that new woman who joined your law firm.
Irene: Sure, sounds good. I can show you the tricks of the trade.
Glem: Meet me at my house tommorow.
Irene: We'll do, bye.
Steve: How is this culvert supposed to help Wanda appreciate life and not want to do drugs?
Wanda (looks down at the muddy culvert): What is this place?
Lincoln: This is a lake I bring my clients to when they need to calm down.
Steve (scoffs and snickers) yeah right. (To Lincoln) This isn't a lake. Where's the house?! I sure as hell don't see a mailbox here that Keanu Reeves used to write letters to Sandra Bullock that arrive two years later!
Lincoln (takes off shirt): All right! I'm jumping off this bridge! Who wants to join! BLAST OFF!
Jumping into the muddy culvert from the bridge, Lincoln looks up at everyone.
Lincoln: Come on in! The water is great!
Irene: You could end up killing yourselves over this.
Sheila: I'll go.
Wanda: Me too, whatever!
Steve soon takes off his shirt is about to jump in. Irene walks off.
Irene: Sorry I can't be here for this.
Steve: Why not?
Irene: Glem wants my help with something. See you guys back in the office.
Steve (jumps in): Check out my famous swan dive!
Lincoln: He's going for a swan dive everyone!
Steve was swimming around. Lincoln gets out of the water and finds a rope to try to go fishing. Sheila and Wanda were talking.
Lincoln: You guys coming in?
Sheila: I'm not going in there! It looks disgusting!
Wanda: I think it looks really cool.
Sheila: It is definately cool! I didn't say it wasn't cool.....
Lincoln: Oh my gosh! Stop fucking talking about it and go in already!
Sheila takes off her shoes and goes into the water. Wanda stays sitting on a rock drawing a symbol on her arm. Steve swims by her.
Steve: Wow, you're a talented artist, Wanda! I draw sometimes too! But my job keeps getting in the way.
Wanda: My job back in Reno was the worst. Ever since my boss found out I was on drugs, he treated me like shit.
Steve: Getting hassled by a boss can really destroy your mental health.
Wanda: Yeah, I hate my life!
Lincoln: (pulls up a wagon): I got one! I feels huge.
Pulling the rope from the mud, Lincoln pulled up a wagon.
Lincoln: Son of a bitch! It's a fucking Radio Flyer!
Sheila (In the mud): Are you coming in at all, Wanda?
Wanda (crushing pills on a law book): Yeah, I'll be in in a minute.
Sheila (gasps): Are those my pills?!?!?
Wanda: Yeah, I secretly stole them from you when we were talking back at Lincoln what's-his-names office.
Lincoln: You on drugs too?
Sheila: No it's my period meds.
Lincoln and Steve watch Wanda.
Steve: Look, she's snorting them.
Lincoln: She must be a coke addict!
Sheila: Wanda! You're not going to get high from those! They're just going to make you drowsy!
Wanda: I don't give a shit!
Shelia (points to Wanda): That's it! YOU'RE OUT OF THE PROGRAM!
Wanda: Good! I never liked it anyway!
Lincoln: Hey, stop being an asshole and give it a go!
Steve: Hey, hey! She's in a rough situation in life. Let's try to be more understanding!
Lincoln: Who died and made you the moral superiority!
Sheila (struggling in the mud): ERRR...EEERRR....ERRRRR.... (lashes out) PIECE OF SHIT!
Steve: You okay?
Sheila: I have mud in my mouth
Lincoln: You know, maybe we should take Wanda home. (To Wanda); Where do you live?
Wanda: In my ex-boyfriends house. It's just a block away from here.
Lincoln puts Wanda in the wagon to take her home. Steve, Wanda, and Sheila soon follow.
Scene 5:
At Lincoln Gumb's Law Office. Irene was cleaning up the place. That was until Glem walks in.
Irene: Glem. What brings you here? I thought you wanted to see me tommorow.
Glem: I thought it over. It can't wait.
Irene: Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
Glem: What is this new girl like? Have you meet her?
Irene: From what I can tell she's a depressed drug addict and Lincoln, Steve, and Shiela are taking around to show her that life is beautiful.
Glem: Wasn't that a Holocause movie?
Irene: I guess. So anyway, back to reality. How do you want me to help you shape up before meeting this girl?
Glem: Oh just the basics.
Irene: Want to be a body builder like me? (flexs arms)
Glem: (laughs) No I won't go that far. Just coach me to excercise and eat right for the next few days.
Irene: It's settled. Good thing I know where the local YMCA is.
Back in Henderson, Wanda finds herself being pulled on a Radio Flyer wagon.
Wanda: Ooooh, I'm tired.
Lincoln: That's because you snorted Midol you dumbass bitch! You're ruining your own brain. As a wise old man once said, "The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste!" (to Steve): How much more farther can this place be?
Steve (holds Wanda's ID): Here's her ID so it shouldn't be too far.
Walking some more, Steve, Lincoln, and Shiela see what appears to be a huge mansion in front of them.
Wanda: Yeah, that's my house. It's a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Sheila: See what drugs do to you? You're making references to shows that have no relation to what you're impling!
Lincoln: You still got some mud on you.
Sheila: Fuck! You're right. I know! Lucky for me, I got great magic abilities.
Using her magic, Sheila is able to change her outfit with her magic.
Sheila: There! That's better.
Steve (looks at the mansion): Damn! You must be loaded!
Lincoln: is it okay if we come inside.
Wanda: Yeah, sure. Knock yourselves out. Whatever.
Going inside Wanda's mansion. Lincoln, Sheila, and Stever were impressed with the layout.
Steve: Wow! This is totally kick ass!
Lincoln: You can build an airplane hanger in here!
Shiela: No shit there!
Wanda: Carry me over to the couch, please.
Lincoln, Steve, and Sheila help Wanda onto the couch.
Sheila: I envy whatever law firm it was you worked for!
Lincoln: I know right! Your clients must be loaded!
Wanda: Actually I only helped poor people. I didn't really want the rich lifestyle.
Steve: How are you able to afford this place then?
Wanda: It was originally my boyfriend's house. Then he got mad at me when he found out I was a druggie and tried to flush my drugs down the toilet.
Lincoln: Sounds like African Queen.
Steve: Please do go on.
Wanda: Then my boyfriend wanted to show me 'tough love' and he slapped and hit me. I called the cops and said he was abusing me. He is in jail now and I took over this place.
Sheila: It's never okay to get physical with people but it's never okay to do drugs.
Wanda: Oh great! Here comes the lecture. Bring on the intervention.
Lincoln: No not right now. But sometime down the road would do you some good.
Steve: In fact, we got a proposition for you.
Wanda: Okay, what is it?
Lincoln: A man who works at my law firm named Glem Blorchman. He hasn't been on a date in a long time and he really wants to meet you.
Wanda: Wow, really?
Steve: Yes, in fact. If you agree to this deal. We'll take the week off from our lawyer jobs and show you around Vegas!
Sheila: Yes and as an extra added bonus, you can come see one of my magic shows! Deal?
Wanda: OKay I'll do it. Just got out of a really bad relationship as you already know.
Lincoln: Once we get through with you, you'll never give drugs a second thought again!
Steve, Sheila, and Lincoln all decide to put their plan to hook up Wanda with Glem into motion.
Scene 6:
At the local YMCA in Las Vegas. Glem is being lead by Irene.
Glem: Know of any good excercise programs here that can help get me in shape for my big date.
Irene: Sure, let me surprise you!
As Irene was leading Glem into the YMCA. Irene signed in at the front desk, Glem is at the front desk too. He pays money to work at the gym.
Glem: I'm ready for this. Where is the place with all the equipment?
Irene: Oh no. We're not using equipment.
Glem: We're not? Then what's the point of coming here?
Irene: There's more to the YMCA than just the gym.
Glem: What are you implying?
Irene: I signed you up for a dance class.
Glem: Dance! But I can't dance at all!
Irene: Nonsense! You just don't know it yet!
Glem: Shit! I knew somehow you were going to say that. That's what they all say! Then a huge disaster happens!
Irene: Isn't that what people who go on dates do? Go to dances? Or to movies and the whatnot?
Glem: Fine, I'm willing to try it.
Going into a huge gymnasium that is empty. Aside from a mirrors. Irene walks to the front of the gym as Glem follows her.
Glem: This gym is so empty. Where are the other dance students?
Irene: We have this gym to ourselves for the time being.
Glem: Where do we begin.
Getting a yard stick, Irene orders Glem around.
Irene: From here on out. You're going to do everything I tell you to. Ready?
Glem: Okay.
Irene: Do everything I do! And begin!
Showing Glem some dance moves, Irene has him follow her every move while she's pounding the yard stick on the gym floor.
Irene: Keep it up! 1..2...3...
Glem was breathing as he was trying to keep up with Irene's dance moves.
Irene: Go go go go go! now I'm going to be like Debbie Allen from Fame!
Glem: I'm getting the hang on it! I'm a regular Gene Kelly!
Irene: Jump side to side! And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4! And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4!
Glem was doing his best to try to master the dance move Irene was teaching him.
Scene 7:
Driving around Las Vegas. Lincoln stops at a theme park.
Wanda: A theme park? How is this going to help me?
Lincoln: This is where people here in Vegas usually go on dates.
Steve: Yeah, don't you want to go on the Tunnel of Love! Like that Bruce Springsteen song?
Sheila: Give us a week, and you'll be drug free by the time you go on your date!
Wanda: Sure.
Madness House of Fun begins to play. On Monday Lincoln, Steve, and Sheila take Wanda to the theme park. And Glem was still going under vigorious traning with Irene to learn how to dance. On Tuesday, Steve, Lincoln, and Sheila take Wanda to one of Sheila's magic shows. On Wednesday, Lincoln, Steve, and Sheila take Wanda to a park. On Thursday it was a Discotech. On Friday, it was going to a mall. Once the mission was complete, Wanda had not touched any drugs at all and seemed to be clean. Song ends.
Wanda: Wow! I feel like a whole new woman!
Lincoln: Perfect! You're ready!
Steve: Which of these places are we going to have these two meet?
Sheila: We were just taking Wanda to these places if things work out between the two.
Wanda: Where am I going to meet this guy?
Lincoln: I got it! Tommorow we'll have a sorire at my place in my backyard.
A cell phone rings.
Lincoln: I'll get that. (answers cellphone) Hello.
Glem (on phone): Lincoln? Is that you!
Lincoln (on phone): Sure is buddy!
Glem (on phone): Your niece sure packs a wallop when it comes to dance moves.
Lincoln (on phone): That's Irene all right.
Glem (on phone): She really helped me out this past week!
Lincoln (on phone): We helped our your soon to be date too!
Glem (on phone): So when do I get to meet Wanda?
Lincoln (on phone): What better time than on Saturday night in my backyard at my sorirre!
Glem (on phone): Sounds great! I'll be there! Or be square!
Lincoln (on phone): OKay maybe if things work out you can take her to all those fun places here in Vegas!
Glem (on phone): I'm sure I will. Goodbye.
Lincoln (on phone): You too, bye!
As Lincoln hangs up his cellphone. Steve has a plan.
Steve: Come on everyone! Let's not be lazy slackers! We have a sorirree to plan!
Sheila: And play matchmaker to boot!
Lincoln: It's on!
Scene 8:
Saturday night was here. The Soiree was about to begin. Wanda was sitting on the picnic table nervous. Sheila tries to calm her down.
Sheila: I know it's never easy to wait for a blind date.
Wanda: What if everything fucks up?
Lincoln (looks around): We ought to have more decor for this. Sheila! Care to help here?
Sheila: No problem!
Using her magic the decor for the Soiree was now looking very lavish.
Steve: I'll hire you for decorations if I ever want to go on a date! (cooking on a grill)
Glem enters the Soiree in Lincoln's backyard, Irene was behind him.
Irene: Ladies and gentlemen! I hearby introduce you to the new and improved Glem Blorchman!
Glem: Thank you thank you! I'll be here all week. So who's the lucky lady today?
Wanda (walks up to Glem): That would be me.
Glem: Care to dance? I know all about it!
Wanda: Sure!
Lincoln turns on a radio and Genesis Man On The Corner plays. Sheila, Steve, and Lincoln were watching with a whole new positive outlook for both Glem and Wanda.
Scene 9:
More music plays from the radio this time Hall and Oates One on One plays as Glem and Wanda begin to dance. Glem is surprisingly nimble thanks to Irene’s training.
Glem: See? I told you—I’m a natural!
Wanda (half-smiling): Yeah… you’re something, alright.
Across the yard, Lincoln flips burgers while Steve critiques his technique.
Steve: You’re burning them.
Lincoln: It’s called char, you uncultured snob.
Suddenly, the gate bursts open. A group of Vegas degenerates stumble in—half-drunk tourists, a guy in an Elvis suit, two showgirls, and a shirtless dude carrying a slot machine.
Degenerate #1: Yo! We heard there was a free party!
Lincoln: Who the hell are you people?!
Steve: You're not invited! This is a private Soiree! SO FUCK OFF!!!
Elvis Guy: Thank you very much, we’re crashing it.
Steve (annoyed): Great. Fantastic. This is exactly what this evening needed.
Within seconds, the party devolves into chaos—people grabbing food, dancing wildly, someone plugging in a karaoke machine. One of the degenerates starts playing and singing Miss Murder By AFI
Sheila: Ooooh! Impromptu audience! I love it!
Getting an idea, Sheila starts doing magic tricks for the degenerates. But the degenerates ignore her.
Lincoln: Since when did this party go emo! It's supposed to be swanky and sophisticated!
Steve: I want want to hear this honky music man!
Irene (dancing): This is my favorite type of music. Learn to live with it!
Scene 10:
Back near the dance area, Glem notices Wanda looking uneasy.
Glem: Hey… you okay?
Hesitating for while. Wanda thinking for a moment. Then sighs.
Wanda: I gotta be honest with you… I haven’t been clean.
Glem: What?
Wanda: That whole week? I just… hid it better.
Glem (steps back looking stunned) So all of this—everything they did—it meant nothing?
Wanda (defensive): It’s not that simple!
Glem: You lied to me before we even started!
Wanda: Oh, like you’re perfect? You had to be trained how to dance just to talk to me!
Glem: At least I was trying! Even if I did have to get help from a teenager.
Their voices rise as the party chaos swirls around them.
Wanda: You don’t get it! This isn’t something I can just turn off!
Glem:
Then maybe you shouldn’t be dating anyone right now!
Wanda (hurt): …Maybe I shouldn’t be dating you.
They stare at each other—then turn away.
Scene 11:
Wanda stumbles slightly. Wanda takes a few steps… then suddenly collapses onto the ground.
Glem (still angry): Yeah, just walk away!
The degenerates even all look with concern.
Elvis Impresonator: Think we crashed the wrong party.
Sheila: Oh my god!
Irene: She’s not breathing right!
Steve: Call 911! Now!
The party screeches to a halt. Even the degenerates go quiet.
Lincoln (panicking): This was supposed to be a nice dinner party follow-up thing!
Sirens approach. The paramedics came and took Wanda away on a stretcher.
Scene 12 Conclusion:
Bright lights. Chaos. Doctors rush Wanda through on a still on a stretcher.
Doctor: Possible overdose—get her stabilized!
Feeling guilt tumble over him. Glem stands frozen in the hallway.
Glem: I… I didn’t mean…
Irene (softly): You couldn’t have known.
Steve, Lincoln, and Sheila stand nearby, unusually quiet. Days later. The group stands outside a mental health facility.
Lincoln: So… she’s gonna be here a while.
Steve: Probably for the best.
Sheila: I still think she would’ve liked my magic show.
Awkward silence.
Glem: Guess I’m not ready for dating after all.
Lincoln:
Hey… neither was she.
More awkward silence.
Steve (shrugs): So… dinner?
Glem: Yeah. Dinner sounds good.
Lincoln: Frozen pizza?
Steve: Absolutely not.
Glem (half-smiles): Honestly… I don’t care what we eat.
Sheila: Back to our lawyer jobs tommorow!
They all start walking off together. Behind them, one of the Vegas degenerates is somehow stuck in a bush outside the facility.
Degenerate (faintly): …worth it…
THE END
This is the first ever fanfic about the new Netflix animated series. Strip Law! Please review.
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