Categories > Cartoons > Aeon Flux
An Anti Mating Season Fanfic. Four friends. One flat tire. A mad elk scientist. And a kooky gorilla.
0Unrated
Mating Season
fanfic title:
Horny In The Head
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
In a forest somewhere in Canada. There was a jailhouse with it's door opening. Then out comes a grizzly bear and a raccoon getting kicked out. Their names were Josh and Ray. Out comes two jail guards who were a goat and a bobcat. Who give Josh and Ray a warning.
Goat: And stay out!
Bobcat: If we see you in our drunk tank again, you'll be doing thirty hard days!
Goat: And we mean it!
Bobcat: Out NOW!
Josh and Ray pick themselves up.
Ray: Shit! I don't even remember how we ended up in the drunk tank!
Josh: It was your own fault. You had to take that tractor for a joy ride.
Ray: You were in on it too! You're just as guilty as I am!
Josh: Why do I let you talk me into these things?
Ray: Because we're trying to get hookups.
Josh: Now, who's going to come and pick us up? That mother of yours, Gina?
Ray: We can call Fawn and Penelope.
Josh: All right.
Calling Fawn on his cellphone, Ray explains everything. Fawn is a deer and Penelope is a red panda.
Ray: Hey, Fawn. Can you and Penelope lead us a hand here? Okay thanks. Bye.
Waiting over 10 minutes for Fawn and Penelope to get them. Josh and Ray begin to get nervous.
Josh: Ooooh! What if those guards see us. As I recall they told us to leave forever!
Ray: (points) Oh look! Here they come now!
Fawn pulls up in her car with Penelope in the front seat.
Penelope: Next time you leave a bar, drink responsibly!
Josh: I sure will. I thought getting drunk would make me more attractive to women.
Ray: I won't lie. I was drunk too.
Fawn: Very smart of you to steal that tractor.
As they were driivng back to their forest home. Fawn gets a flat tire.
Fawn: SHIT! Now what?!?!?
Scene 2:
Josh and Ray get out of the car and investigate the flat tire. There was a broken tree branch on the road that Fawn didn't see.
Penelope: What was it? Not Summer I hope?
Ray: Nope it was a broken branch on the road.
Fawn: Now what! We're stuck in the middle of nowhere with a flat tire.
Josh: We try to find some help that's what.
Walking around for what seemed like hours. Fawn, Penelope, Josh, and Ray find a tall mansion.
Josh: I don't like the looks of this place. It's probably going to be like The Haunting.
Ray: At least it's something.
Fawn: Whoever is in there we'll explain we're from far away and we got a flat tire
Penelope: Hopefully the resident here is a car repair man.
Scene 3:
Ray knocks on the door. Much to their shock, the door opens on it's own. Penelope enters first, while Josh, Ray, and Fawn soon follow her lead. The first room they see is a laboratory. With everything from an X Ray machine, beakers, and a bunsen burner.
Josh: Hey look its The Lazarus Effect!
Ray: Sometimes I think you have a bird brain and bird balls to match!
A mad scientist who's an Elk comes from behind the X Ray Machine. His name is Dr Hornswoggle.
Dr Hornswoggle (whispers): Bird Brain? Bird Balls even better!
Walking over to where Penelope, Fawn, Ray and Josh were standing. Dr Hornswoggle observes Josh's head and testicles.
Dr Hornswoggle: Beautiful!
Josh: Hey! I don't play for that team!
Dr Hornswoggle: Ladies and Gents, I'm Dr Hornswoggle! I can use you!
Ray: And we can use you! We came here because our car had a flat tire.
Dr Hornswoggle (examines Josh's head and balls): Perfect! Perfect!
Penelope: Somebody's nuts around here!
Fawn: Look who's talking!
Dr Hornswoggle tries to examine Josh's head and testicles. Dr Elkenstein takes about a stethoscope.
Josh: Want to check my vitals! Start with my heart!
Dr Hornswoggle: Oh no! The heart does not matter! It's the head and balls that do!
Fawn: Perhaps he's a headhunter!
Ray: He's hunting small game if you ask me!
Dr Hornswoggle hears the inside of Josh's head. It's sounds of people having orgasms.
Penelope: Uhhh, we have a flat tire! Are you going to just ignore that!
Dr Hornswoggle: Wow! Practically occupied! (usese stethoscope on Josh's testicles) Wow! Nothing there either!
Josh: Hey! I don't have to stand for this!
Ray: Never mind, Doctor! Help us with our car! I'll take care of him! (to Josh) Hey bird brain! Are you trying to ruin or chaces to go home!
Dr Hornswoggle: Hey! Leave him alone! I need to examine him some more!
Getting a hammer Dr Hornswoggle begins hitting it on Josh's head. It plays some tunes like a xylophone. Then Dr Hornswoggle uses the hammer on Josh's testicles that play the same melodic tune. Ray, Penelope, and Fawn stand impatiently.
Dr Hornswoggle: Perfect! He's just what I want!
Ray: All right. What's in it for us?
Fawn: An auto shop I hope?
Dr Hornswoggle: Guys, if you stay here you will be surrounded by luxuries as long as you live!
Penelope: That sounds like a deal to me! Just feel bad I have to leave Summer behind.
Fawn: Know what? I think we can use a change of scenery!
Ray: Yeah you're right. I am getting tired of living in the same forest day in and day out!
Josh: Cool! I hope there's some orgies in the new future!
Dr Hornswoggle: Oh yes! There will be plenty of sexual things soon! Come with me guys. I'll show you to your rooms!
Josh, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope followed Dr Hornswoggle. Unaware of the danger that was going to come before them.
Scene 4:
Walking out of the laboratory, and into a hallway. Dr Hornswoggle shows Fawn, Josh, Ray, and Penelope to some 'quarters'.
Dr Hornswoggle: Here are your quarters my fine guests!
Ray, Josh, Penelope and Fawn all talk indistinctively as Dr Hornswoggle was opening the door. Josh, Ray, Penelope, and Fawn all enter the room. It looked like a hotel suite.
Josh: Wow! What a beautiful joint!
Ray: Nothing like this back home!
Fawn: I can't help but wonder what did that scientist want with Josh's brain and balls?
Penelope hears the lock close on the door and gasps.
Fawn: Why did you panic?
Penelope: He locked us in!
Ray (tries to open the door): She's right! He's probably going to want to do "Saw" things to us!
Fawn: Why do we get ourselves into this shit?
Josh: Because that guy liked my head and testicles! (laughs) He said we would keep us in, what's that word.
Ray: He said luxury.
Penelope: yes and he said luxury as long as we lived!
Ray: As long we lived....as long as we.......FUCK! Let's get outta here!
Josh: I don't want to have to put up with this bullshit!
Running to a window, Fawn opens the curtain and there were bars on the windows.
Fawn: Son of a bitch! We're prisoners!
Josh: Let's try to unlock the door!
Fawn, Penelope, Josh, and Ray all try to ram into the locked door to open it but fail.
Ray: Motherfucker! Even our animal strength is no match for this door.
Fawn: This day is going to shit! First you guys get thrown in a drunk tank. Then me and Penelope picked you guys up....
As Fawn continues to rant a door opens from behind them.
Fawn: Then we try to drive back home and our tires get flat. We come here and some creepy ass scientist who has a thing for Josh begins to examine him then he locks us in the room with bars on the windows and locked doors! I don't like this if you ask me! In fact! I hate this!
A gorilla comes from behind them.
Josh: There could be anything lurking around here. (shaking nervously)
Ray: We're aware of that. But I'm not scared mind you! I don't scare that easy that's all!
Penelope: It's good to be brave. I admire that about you.
Fawn: That's right. It's silly to be scared.
The gorilla was pinching their butts one by one.
Ray: Josh! Are you getting all Harvey Weinstein on me?
Josh: That wasn't me!
Fawn: Woah! I haven't been touched like that since college!
Penelope: I wish I could do a Disclosure on this fucker!
The gorilla was now behind them all. Then it roars! Ray, Fawn, Josh, and Penelope all scream and run under the bed in the quarters, Then the gorilla tears the room apart.
Scene 5:
Still hiding under the bed. Fawn, Penelope, Josh and Ray were all panicking while the gorilla was jumping on top of the bed.
Ray: I think this gorilla wants to fuck us!
Josh: I'll fuck another bear thank you very much!
Fawn: I think we better move it move it!!
Penelope: What does this gorilla want from us?!?!?
Ray, Josh, Fawn, and Penelope crawl out from under the bed. The four of them try the door again, and it opens. Ray Josh, Fawn, and Penelope all run out now knowing that Dr Hornswoggle opened the door to see the gorilla causing a commotion in the quarters.
Dr Hornswoggle (angerly): KONGSTON! BAD BOY! COME OVER HERE NOW!
The gorilla called Kongston walked to Dr Hornswoggle in shame. Ray, Penelope, Josh, and Fawn find themselves back in the laboratory. Where Dr Hornswoggle wants to use the X Ray machine on Josh.
Dr Hornswoggle (to Josh): Come here please. Step behind the screen.
Josh does what he's told. Ray, Penelope, and Fawn watch in fear.
Fawn: He's been our friend all our lives. What is going to become of him!
Ray: Lucky guy gets a screen test!
Dr Hornswoggle turns on the X Ray machine and he is astounded by what he sees in Josh's brain and testicles. There is a picture on the X Ray machine on both his head and testicles of a silhouette featuring a bird having sex with another bird and making moaning and screaming sounds like there was a rape happening.
Penelope: It's a bird!
Ray: Sure, a bird in the head fucks two in a bush!
Fawn: Not funny, Ray! Josh could be in danger!
Dr Hornswoggle hits Josh over the head with a hammer then kicks him in the testicles and the bird on the X Ray dies off.
Josh: Always known I had a strong sex drive!
Fawn: So what happens now?
Dr Hornswoggle: Wonderful! So have you all seen Harambe my gorilla pal! I meet him on vacation in Tibet. He's the beast of the jungle until he came to me.
Ray: Yeah we're aware of him...... What about it?
Dr Hornswoggle: Next time you see him, he will have the brain and testicles of a bear!
Penelope: Is he going to be smarter and braver?
Dr Hornswoggle: At first it was difficult to find a brain and some balls that were small enough to fit into the skull of Harambe! But now the search has ended!
Fawn: Where are you going to get this undersized brain?
Penelope: Or those balls?
Everyone laughs nervously then Dr Hornswoggle looks over at Josh.
Dr Hornswoggle: Beautiful! It's him!
Josh: Time to dip! Let's jet!
Ray, Josh, Penelope, and Fawn all run out of the laboratory.
Scene 6:
A big chase ensues when Ray, Josh, Penelope, and Fawn were all running from Dr Hornswoggle. Josh hides under a table and makes Dr Hornswoggle trip on a bottle that causes Dr Hornswoggle to fly into the air and land on some dentures. Dr Hornswoggle screams in pain.
Ray: HAHAHAHAHA! You fall down! Hopefully on your balls!
Josh: Yeah, balls in his court! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAA! I crack myself up!
Dr Hornswoggle charges at Ray then dodges him and Dr Hornswoggle hits a wall and a vase lands on his head knocking him cold. Josh, Ray, Penelope, and Fawn run out of the lab and back into the quarters where Kongston was waiting for them. Ray closes and door and Josh shreiks.
Josh: EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!
Ray: Are you trying to audition for America's Got Talent?
Josh: But guys, guys!
Kongston bumps his hand onto Ray's back.
Ray: FUCK OFF!! (slaps Kongston)
Josh: But Ray!
Ray: SHUT UP I SAID!
Fawn and Penelope see Kongston.
Penelope: I think he's trying to tell you something.
Fawn: The Gorilla is right behind you, Ray!
Josh: See? They believe me! Why don't you?
Ray sees Kongston who charges at him, Fawn, and Penelope and they all scream and run out of the room. Leaving Josh behind with Kongston.
Josh: Way to ditch me assholes! I thought you were my friends!
Kongston begins to show affection towards Josh.
Josh: Are you trying to seduce me?!?!?!?! As Jonah Hill asked in The Sitter: What's your game?
Kongston continues to be affectionate to Josh.
Josh: I bet you tell that to all the animals especially if you're going to get their brain and testicles!
In the hallway, Ray, Penelope, and Fawn were running around trying to avoid Dr Hornswoggle. They see Dr Hornswoggle go out of a door to try to find them. Fawn, Penelope, and Ray all hid in a corner.
Ray: He's going to grab Josh!
Fawn: I'm so worried! We better do something!
Penelope: When we get up his ass! Then we'll ambush him! Then we'll infiltrate! Finally we'll give him the old pins and needles!
Ray: Let's go!
Trying to find Josh, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope were running into all the rooms. Josh was still in the quarters with Kongston who seemed sad.
Josh: I know boy. I know. (pets Kongston)
A knock is heard on the door. Josh walks into another room with Kongston. As does Dr Hornswoggle. Josh then exits the room with Kongston only to have Dr Hornswoggle walk into the room where they were in. Josh walks down the hallway again and knocks on a door. Lucky for him, Josh, Penelope, and Fawn were in the room.
Ray: Who is it?
Josh: It's me! Josh! Open up!
Fawn: Let him in.
Ray opens the door with is reunited with his friends along with Kongston. Fawn and Penelope yelp when they see Kongston was in the room which was the laboratory from earlier.
Penelope: Why did you bring in that motherfucking ape?!?!?
Ray: Get rid of him!
Josh: No way! He's my pal!
Kongston grunts.
Josh: 5 oclock shadow! Remind me I have to shave!
Outside in the hallway. Dr Hornswoggle gets a machine gun.
Dr Hornswoggle: They're locked in the laboratory! Now I'll waste them for good! How dare they try to escape me and prevent me from my most anticipated Expirement yet!
Scene 6:
In the laboratory, Josh and Kongston were throwing around the chemicals.
Josh: You're smart! Do you by any chance know how to fix a flat tire?
On the other side of the laboratory, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope look at Josh in disgust.
Ray: Hey! Enough of that! He'll hear you!
Josh and Kongston ignore Ray's order and keep throwing the chemicals and the jars they were in and Ray gets hit on the head with a jar. Ray begins to hone in on Josh like he was going to hit him, but Kongston stops him.
Ray: Sorry about that. I was just joking! hee hee
Josh: I see I told you he's my friend!
About to enter the laboratory to finish off Josh, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope. Dr Hornswoggle breaks into the laboratory with a machine gun. Not before long, Harambe drinks some Pure Grain Alcohol. Josh comes up to Kongston and drinks the alcohol too.
Josh (hiccups and steam comes out of his ears)
Dr Hornswoggle (coming in through the door with his gun): Don't fucking move!
Josh, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope all gasp in fear.
Fawn: Firearms are dangerous!
Dr Hornswoggle: You're right. It is dangerous! You guys ruined all of my plans! That's why I'm going to kill you! Now, have anything to say before you die!
Josh: Yeah, do you have a permit for that....(singing) still got a smoking gun?
Dr Hornswoggle shoots the gun shooting up his own laboratory. While, Ray, Josh, Fawn, and Penelope were hiding under the table. Kongston comes and attacks Dr Hornswoggle.
Kongston (roars angerily)
Dr Hornswoggle: Harambe! Stop! Stop! Stop by command! Want me to get the whip?
Kongston takes the machine gun away from Dr Hornswoggle and begins to shoot up more of the laboratory. Dr Hornswoggle gets knocked out by an exploding chemical while Ray, Josh, Fawn, and Penelope crawl out of the table and run to the door taking Harambe with them.
Scene 7 Conclusion:
Running to their now broken down car. Fawn, Ray, Josh, and Penelope get inside Kongston lifts the car and runs.
Fawn (breathes): Safe at last!
As Kongston carried the broken-down car through the Canadian wilderness, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Ray: We made it! We're alive!
Penelope: And that crazy elk scientist is gone forever!
Josh: Plus I got a new best friend!
Kongston grunted proudly. Suddenly, the car's radio crackled.
Radio Announcer: We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news. Authorities have arrested one Dr. Hornswoggle after an explosion at his mansion. He is expected to make a full recovery.
Everyone screamed.
Fawn: HE'S ALIVE?! How can that be! We saw him die in an explosion of chemicals!
However, before they could panic any further, Kongston slipped on a banana peel somebody had apparently thrown into the woods. WHAM! The car rolled down a hill, smashed into a tree, and all five passengers landed in a muddy swamp. Silence.
Ray: Well… at least we're away from that lunatic.
A tow truck drove by.
Josh: HEY! OVER HERE!
The truck stopped. Out stepped the goat and bobcat guards from the drunk tank.
Goat: You idiots again?
Bobcat: Stole another vehicle, did you?
Everyone looked at Kingston, who was still carrying the car door and making happy gorilla noises.
Ray: It's not what it looks like!
Bobcat: Save it. Thirty hard days.
Ray, Josh, Kongston, Fawn, and Penelope ran deep into the muddy swamp and then the forest while the Bobcat and Goat shot their guns in the air while chasing Josh, Penelope, Fawn, Josh, and the newest member of their friends Kongston.
THE END
fanfic title:
Horny In The Head
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
In a forest somewhere in Canada. There was a jailhouse with it's door opening. Then out comes a grizzly bear and a raccoon getting kicked out. Their names were Josh and Ray. Out comes two jail guards who were a goat and a bobcat. Who give Josh and Ray a warning.
Goat: And stay out!
Bobcat: If we see you in our drunk tank again, you'll be doing thirty hard days!
Goat: And we mean it!
Bobcat: Out NOW!
Josh and Ray pick themselves up.
Ray: Shit! I don't even remember how we ended up in the drunk tank!
Josh: It was your own fault. You had to take that tractor for a joy ride.
Ray: You were in on it too! You're just as guilty as I am!
Josh: Why do I let you talk me into these things?
Ray: Because we're trying to get hookups.
Josh: Now, who's going to come and pick us up? That mother of yours, Gina?
Ray: We can call Fawn and Penelope.
Josh: All right.
Calling Fawn on his cellphone, Ray explains everything. Fawn is a deer and Penelope is a red panda.
Ray: Hey, Fawn. Can you and Penelope lead us a hand here? Okay thanks. Bye.
Waiting over 10 minutes for Fawn and Penelope to get them. Josh and Ray begin to get nervous.
Josh: Ooooh! What if those guards see us. As I recall they told us to leave forever!
Ray: (points) Oh look! Here they come now!
Fawn pulls up in her car with Penelope in the front seat.
Penelope: Next time you leave a bar, drink responsibly!
Josh: I sure will. I thought getting drunk would make me more attractive to women.
Ray: I won't lie. I was drunk too.
Fawn: Very smart of you to steal that tractor.
As they were driivng back to their forest home. Fawn gets a flat tire.
Fawn: SHIT! Now what?!?!?
Scene 2:
Josh and Ray get out of the car and investigate the flat tire. There was a broken tree branch on the road that Fawn didn't see.
Penelope: What was it? Not Summer I hope?
Ray: Nope it was a broken branch on the road.
Fawn: Now what! We're stuck in the middle of nowhere with a flat tire.
Josh: We try to find some help that's what.
Walking around for what seemed like hours. Fawn, Penelope, Josh, and Ray find a tall mansion.
Josh: I don't like the looks of this place. It's probably going to be like The Haunting.
Ray: At least it's something.
Fawn: Whoever is in there we'll explain we're from far away and we got a flat tire
Penelope: Hopefully the resident here is a car repair man.
Scene 3:
Ray knocks on the door. Much to their shock, the door opens on it's own. Penelope enters first, while Josh, Ray, and Fawn soon follow her lead. The first room they see is a laboratory. With everything from an X Ray machine, beakers, and a bunsen burner.
Josh: Hey look its The Lazarus Effect!
Ray: Sometimes I think you have a bird brain and bird balls to match!
A mad scientist who's an Elk comes from behind the X Ray Machine. His name is Dr Hornswoggle.
Dr Hornswoggle (whispers): Bird Brain? Bird Balls even better!
Walking over to where Penelope, Fawn, Ray and Josh were standing. Dr Hornswoggle observes Josh's head and testicles.
Dr Hornswoggle: Beautiful!
Josh: Hey! I don't play for that team!
Dr Hornswoggle: Ladies and Gents, I'm Dr Hornswoggle! I can use you!
Ray: And we can use you! We came here because our car had a flat tire.
Dr Hornswoggle (examines Josh's head and balls): Perfect! Perfect!
Penelope: Somebody's nuts around here!
Fawn: Look who's talking!
Dr Hornswoggle tries to examine Josh's head and testicles. Dr Elkenstein takes about a stethoscope.
Josh: Want to check my vitals! Start with my heart!
Dr Hornswoggle: Oh no! The heart does not matter! It's the head and balls that do!
Fawn: Perhaps he's a headhunter!
Ray: He's hunting small game if you ask me!
Dr Hornswoggle hears the inside of Josh's head. It's sounds of people having orgasms.
Penelope: Uhhh, we have a flat tire! Are you going to just ignore that!
Dr Hornswoggle: Wow! Practically occupied! (usese stethoscope on Josh's testicles) Wow! Nothing there either!
Josh: Hey! I don't have to stand for this!
Ray: Never mind, Doctor! Help us with our car! I'll take care of him! (to Josh) Hey bird brain! Are you trying to ruin or chaces to go home!
Dr Hornswoggle: Hey! Leave him alone! I need to examine him some more!
Getting a hammer Dr Hornswoggle begins hitting it on Josh's head. It plays some tunes like a xylophone. Then Dr Hornswoggle uses the hammer on Josh's testicles that play the same melodic tune. Ray, Penelope, and Fawn stand impatiently.
Dr Hornswoggle: Perfect! He's just what I want!
Ray: All right. What's in it for us?
Fawn: An auto shop I hope?
Dr Hornswoggle: Guys, if you stay here you will be surrounded by luxuries as long as you live!
Penelope: That sounds like a deal to me! Just feel bad I have to leave Summer behind.
Fawn: Know what? I think we can use a change of scenery!
Ray: Yeah you're right. I am getting tired of living in the same forest day in and day out!
Josh: Cool! I hope there's some orgies in the new future!
Dr Hornswoggle: Oh yes! There will be plenty of sexual things soon! Come with me guys. I'll show you to your rooms!
Josh, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope followed Dr Hornswoggle. Unaware of the danger that was going to come before them.
Scene 4:
Walking out of the laboratory, and into a hallway. Dr Hornswoggle shows Fawn, Josh, Ray, and Penelope to some 'quarters'.
Dr Hornswoggle: Here are your quarters my fine guests!
Ray, Josh, Penelope and Fawn all talk indistinctively as Dr Hornswoggle was opening the door. Josh, Ray, Penelope, and Fawn all enter the room. It looked like a hotel suite.
Josh: Wow! What a beautiful joint!
Ray: Nothing like this back home!
Fawn: I can't help but wonder what did that scientist want with Josh's brain and balls?
Penelope hears the lock close on the door and gasps.
Fawn: Why did you panic?
Penelope: He locked us in!
Ray (tries to open the door): She's right! He's probably going to want to do "Saw" things to us!
Fawn: Why do we get ourselves into this shit?
Josh: Because that guy liked my head and testicles! (laughs) He said we would keep us in, what's that word.
Ray: He said luxury.
Penelope: yes and he said luxury as long as we lived!
Ray: As long we lived....as long as we.......FUCK! Let's get outta here!
Josh: I don't want to have to put up with this bullshit!
Running to a window, Fawn opens the curtain and there were bars on the windows.
Fawn: Son of a bitch! We're prisoners!
Josh: Let's try to unlock the door!
Fawn, Penelope, Josh, and Ray all try to ram into the locked door to open it but fail.
Ray: Motherfucker! Even our animal strength is no match for this door.
Fawn: This day is going to shit! First you guys get thrown in a drunk tank. Then me and Penelope picked you guys up....
As Fawn continues to rant a door opens from behind them.
Fawn: Then we try to drive back home and our tires get flat. We come here and some creepy ass scientist who has a thing for Josh begins to examine him then he locks us in the room with bars on the windows and locked doors! I don't like this if you ask me! In fact! I hate this!
A gorilla comes from behind them.
Josh: There could be anything lurking around here. (shaking nervously)
Ray: We're aware of that. But I'm not scared mind you! I don't scare that easy that's all!
Penelope: It's good to be brave. I admire that about you.
Fawn: That's right. It's silly to be scared.
The gorilla was pinching their butts one by one.
Ray: Josh! Are you getting all Harvey Weinstein on me?
Josh: That wasn't me!
Fawn: Woah! I haven't been touched like that since college!
Penelope: I wish I could do a Disclosure on this fucker!
The gorilla was now behind them all. Then it roars! Ray, Fawn, Josh, and Penelope all scream and run under the bed in the quarters, Then the gorilla tears the room apart.
Scene 5:
Still hiding under the bed. Fawn, Penelope, Josh and Ray were all panicking while the gorilla was jumping on top of the bed.
Ray: I think this gorilla wants to fuck us!
Josh: I'll fuck another bear thank you very much!
Fawn: I think we better move it move it!!
Penelope: What does this gorilla want from us?!?!?
Ray, Josh, Fawn, and Penelope crawl out from under the bed. The four of them try the door again, and it opens. Ray Josh, Fawn, and Penelope all run out now knowing that Dr Hornswoggle opened the door to see the gorilla causing a commotion in the quarters.
Dr Hornswoggle (angerly): KONGSTON! BAD BOY! COME OVER HERE NOW!
The gorilla called Kongston walked to Dr Hornswoggle in shame. Ray, Penelope, Josh, and Fawn find themselves back in the laboratory. Where Dr Hornswoggle wants to use the X Ray machine on Josh.
Dr Hornswoggle (to Josh): Come here please. Step behind the screen.
Josh does what he's told. Ray, Penelope, and Fawn watch in fear.
Fawn: He's been our friend all our lives. What is going to become of him!
Ray: Lucky guy gets a screen test!
Dr Hornswoggle turns on the X Ray machine and he is astounded by what he sees in Josh's brain and testicles. There is a picture on the X Ray machine on both his head and testicles of a silhouette featuring a bird having sex with another bird and making moaning and screaming sounds like there was a rape happening.
Penelope: It's a bird!
Ray: Sure, a bird in the head fucks two in a bush!
Fawn: Not funny, Ray! Josh could be in danger!
Dr Hornswoggle hits Josh over the head with a hammer then kicks him in the testicles and the bird on the X Ray dies off.
Josh: Always known I had a strong sex drive!
Fawn: So what happens now?
Dr Hornswoggle: Wonderful! So have you all seen Harambe my gorilla pal! I meet him on vacation in Tibet. He's the beast of the jungle until he came to me.
Ray: Yeah we're aware of him...... What about it?
Dr Hornswoggle: Next time you see him, he will have the brain and testicles of a bear!
Penelope: Is he going to be smarter and braver?
Dr Hornswoggle: At first it was difficult to find a brain and some balls that were small enough to fit into the skull of Harambe! But now the search has ended!
Fawn: Where are you going to get this undersized brain?
Penelope: Or those balls?
Everyone laughs nervously then Dr Hornswoggle looks over at Josh.
Dr Hornswoggle: Beautiful! It's him!
Josh: Time to dip! Let's jet!
Ray, Josh, Penelope, and Fawn all run out of the laboratory.
Scene 6:
A big chase ensues when Ray, Josh, Penelope, and Fawn were all running from Dr Hornswoggle. Josh hides under a table and makes Dr Hornswoggle trip on a bottle that causes Dr Hornswoggle to fly into the air and land on some dentures. Dr Hornswoggle screams in pain.
Ray: HAHAHAHAHA! You fall down! Hopefully on your balls!
Josh: Yeah, balls in his court! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAA! I crack myself up!
Dr Hornswoggle charges at Ray then dodges him and Dr Hornswoggle hits a wall and a vase lands on his head knocking him cold. Josh, Ray, Penelope, and Fawn run out of the lab and back into the quarters where Kongston was waiting for them. Ray closes and door and Josh shreiks.
Josh: EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!
Ray: Are you trying to audition for America's Got Talent?
Josh: But guys, guys!
Kongston bumps his hand onto Ray's back.
Ray: FUCK OFF!! (slaps Kongston)
Josh: But Ray!
Ray: SHUT UP I SAID!
Fawn and Penelope see Kongston.
Penelope: I think he's trying to tell you something.
Fawn: The Gorilla is right behind you, Ray!
Josh: See? They believe me! Why don't you?
Ray sees Kongston who charges at him, Fawn, and Penelope and they all scream and run out of the room. Leaving Josh behind with Kongston.
Josh: Way to ditch me assholes! I thought you were my friends!
Kongston begins to show affection towards Josh.
Josh: Are you trying to seduce me?!?!?!?! As Jonah Hill asked in The Sitter: What's your game?
Kongston continues to be affectionate to Josh.
Josh: I bet you tell that to all the animals especially if you're going to get their brain and testicles!
In the hallway, Ray, Penelope, and Fawn were running around trying to avoid Dr Hornswoggle. They see Dr Hornswoggle go out of a door to try to find them. Fawn, Penelope, and Ray all hid in a corner.
Ray: He's going to grab Josh!
Fawn: I'm so worried! We better do something!
Penelope: When we get up his ass! Then we'll ambush him! Then we'll infiltrate! Finally we'll give him the old pins and needles!
Ray: Let's go!
Trying to find Josh, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope were running into all the rooms. Josh was still in the quarters with Kongston who seemed sad.
Josh: I know boy. I know. (pets Kongston)
A knock is heard on the door. Josh walks into another room with Kongston. As does Dr Hornswoggle. Josh then exits the room with Kongston only to have Dr Hornswoggle walk into the room where they were in. Josh walks down the hallway again and knocks on a door. Lucky for him, Josh, Penelope, and Fawn were in the room.
Ray: Who is it?
Josh: It's me! Josh! Open up!
Fawn: Let him in.
Ray opens the door with is reunited with his friends along with Kongston. Fawn and Penelope yelp when they see Kongston was in the room which was the laboratory from earlier.
Penelope: Why did you bring in that motherfucking ape?!?!?
Ray: Get rid of him!
Josh: No way! He's my pal!
Kongston grunts.
Josh: 5 oclock shadow! Remind me I have to shave!
Outside in the hallway. Dr Hornswoggle gets a machine gun.
Dr Hornswoggle: They're locked in the laboratory! Now I'll waste them for good! How dare they try to escape me and prevent me from my most anticipated Expirement yet!
Scene 6:
In the laboratory, Josh and Kongston were throwing around the chemicals.
Josh: You're smart! Do you by any chance know how to fix a flat tire?
On the other side of the laboratory, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope look at Josh in disgust.
Ray: Hey! Enough of that! He'll hear you!
Josh and Kongston ignore Ray's order and keep throwing the chemicals and the jars they were in and Ray gets hit on the head with a jar. Ray begins to hone in on Josh like he was going to hit him, but Kongston stops him.
Ray: Sorry about that. I was just joking! hee hee
Josh: I see I told you he's my friend!
About to enter the laboratory to finish off Josh, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope. Dr Hornswoggle breaks into the laboratory with a machine gun. Not before long, Harambe drinks some Pure Grain Alcohol. Josh comes up to Kongston and drinks the alcohol too.
Josh (hiccups and steam comes out of his ears)
Dr Hornswoggle (coming in through the door with his gun): Don't fucking move!
Josh, Ray, Fawn, and Penelope all gasp in fear.
Fawn: Firearms are dangerous!
Dr Hornswoggle: You're right. It is dangerous! You guys ruined all of my plans! That's why I'm going to kill you! Now, have anything to say before you die!
Josh: Yeah, do you have a permit for that....(singing) still got a smoking gun?
Dr Hornswoggle shoots the gun shooting up his own laboratory. While, Ray, Josh, Fawn, and Penelope were hiding under the table. Kongston comes and attacks Dr Hornswoggle.
Kongston (roars angerily)
Dr Hornswoggle: Harambe! Stop! Stop! Stop by command! Want me to get the whip?
Kongston takes the machine gun away from Dr Hornswoggle and begins to shoot up more of the laboratory. Dr Hornswoggle gets knocked out by an exploding chemical while Ray, Josh, Fawn, and Penelope crawl out of the table and run to the door taking Harambe with them.
Scene 7 Conclusion:
Running to their now broken down car. Fawn, Ray, Josh, and Penelope get inside Kongston lifts the car and runs.
Fawn (breathes): Safe at last!
As Kongston carried the broken-down car through the Canadian wilderness, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Ray: We made it! We're alive!
Penelope: And that crazy elk scientist is gone forever!
Josh: Plus I got a new best friend!
Kongston grunted proudly. Suddenly, the car's radio crackled.
Radio Announcer: We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news. Authorities have arrested one Dr. Hornswoggle after an explosion at his mansion. He is expected to make a full recovery.
Everyone screamed.
Fawn: HE'S ALIVE?! How can that be! We saw him die in an explosion of chemicals!
However, before they could panic any further, Kongston slipped on a banana peel somebody had apparently thrown into the woods. WHAM! The car rolled down a hill, smashed into a tree, and all five passengers landed in a muddy swamp. Silence.
Ray: Well… at least we're away from that lunatic.
A tow truck drove by.
Josh: HEY! OVER HERE!
The truck stopped. Out stepped the goat and bobcat guards from the drunk tank.
Goat: You idiots again?
Bobcat: Stole another vehicle, did you?
Everyone looked at Kingston, who was still carrying the car door and making happy gorilla noises.
Ray: It's not what it looks like!
Bobcat: Save it. Thirty hard days.
Ray, Josh, Kongston, Fawn, and Penelope ran deep into the muddy swamp and then the forest while the Bobcat and Goat shot their guns in the air while chasing Josh, Penelope, Fawn, Josh, and the newest member of their friends Kongston.
THE END
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