Categories > Cartoons > Paradise PD
Paradise PD
Fanfic title:
You’ll Be Dead In A Week
By: Trenton Sands
Scene 1
The station is suspiciously quiet — which in Paradise means someone is either dead, naked, or both. Entering The Paradise PD Headquarters. Kevin holds onto a VHS tape like it’s a cursed relic from The Ring.
Kevin: Guys… I found something. And I think it’s haunted. Or cursed. Or both. Probably both.
Trying to assemble a LEGO model of the Hoover Dam. Randall sits angerly
Randall: Kevin, the only cursed thing in this station is your DNA. What is that, a porno? If it’s another one of Dusty’s “experimental cooking tapes,” I swear—
Then Dusty looks up from a bucket of pudding he’s eating with a gardening trowel.
Dusty: My experimental cooking tapes are art. I'm sending them to Gordon Ramsey! You ever seen a man slow‑dance with a ham while crying to Enya? That’s cinema.
Kevin: It’s not porn! I found it in the evidence room behind a box labeled “DO NOT OPEN".
Randall I MEAN IT.” (freezes):…Oh shit.
Gina (loads her gun): If this tape summons a demon, I’m shooting it. And then I’m shooting Kevin for summoning it. (laughs) Just joking! I would never shoot that twat waffle!
Bullet (rolling a joint): If it summons a demon, I’m asking it if Hell weed hits different.
Stanley: Please tell me it doesn’t have spiders. I can’t do spiders again.
Kevin: Let’s just watch it.
Scene 2
The PD crowds around a TV/VCR combo that looks stolen from a 1998 bowling alley.
Kevin inserts the tape. Static. Then— DISTURBING IMAGES FLASH RAPIDLY:
A cow wearing a prom dress. A fax machine printing pictures of someone’s colon. A doll’s face melting. A raccoon eating a wedding ring. A child’s drawing of Randall labeled “BAD DAD.” A toilet overflowing while the Friends theme plays off‑key. A VHS copy of Howard the Duck on fire. A woman brushing her hair with a hairbrush full of teeth.
Gina: Mother fucking shit!, this looks like Adult Swim threw up.
Bullet: This is what it feels like when I take edibles and watch Teletubbies.
Randall: I haven’t seen imagery this disturbing since Kevin was born.
The screen goes black. A Sukura in a black dress stands at the edge of a stone well. Hair covering her face. Budget Sadako vibes She turns. Falls backward into the well. Static. Then the phone rings.
Kevin answers.
Voice: Seven days.
The phone clicks as Kevin drops the phone.
Kevin: Guys… I think I just got Ring‑cursed.
Randall: Kevin, you were cursed the moment your mother didn’t swallow.
Suddenly The Break Room door slams open in reverse. Fitz and Brett DeMarco who came from Lovely Corp stride in wearing matching suits so shiny they look laminated.
Fitz: We heard someone accessed our intellectual property.
Brett DeMarco: And by “heard,” we mean our surveillance drones saw you touch the tape.
Kevin Wait—this is YOUR tape?!
Fitz: Not exactly. We funded it.
Brett DeMarco: We hired a Magician to create a viral horror experience. He went… off‑script.
Gina: You ass fuckers made a cursed tape?!
Fitz: We prefer the term “immersive brand engagement.”
Scene 3
A puff of purple smoke fills the room. A man in a velvet cape appears, holding a wand shaped like an erect penis.
The Magician: Behold! I am Thornbrand the Malevolent! Creator of the Well Sukura!Architect of terror! And Scene‑time children’s Scene entertainer!
Dusty (runs): AHHHH! THIS IS TO FRIGHTENING FOR ME! I’M OUTTA HERE! LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES!
Bullet (drags Dusty back): Oh no! You’re not ditching us out of fear!
Randall: You tell him, Bullet!
Dusty: But evil magicians scare me. One day my mama took me to the circus and….
Randall: No! This is no time for your childhood flashbacks! You’re helping us with this whether you like it or not!
Dusty: All right! I’ll stay! You win! It doesn’t mean I’m going to like it!
Randall (laughs): Why does your wand look like a penis? He looks like a reject from a Ron Jeremy movie!
Thornbrand: Silence! The curse is real. Seven days… unless you solve my puzzle.
Kevin: What puzzle?! Like that one in the movie Memento?
Thornbrand: The puzzle is that I forgot the puzzle.
Dusty: I can’t wait until this is all over! I feel so trapped! Like Leonardo DiCaprio in Marvin’s Room!
Brett DeMarco (rolls eyes) He’s not great at his job. He keeps stealing ideas from other magicians. One time he got sued by David Copperfield by trying to make the Chicago Sears Tower disappear.
Fitz: But he was cheap.
Dusty: I thought you Lovely Corp people were loaded!
Fitz: Even we have to have a budget!
Dusty: I'm getting outta here! Let me know how it goes!
Bullet (drags Dusty back): Nope! You're just as involved in this as we are!
Randall: Good for you, Bullet! We need you Dusty!
Dusty: But but but you don't understand! I hate magicians! This one time my mama took me to a circus because she was dating one who was going to be my stepdad and...
Randall: No time for your hard luck backstory right now!
Bullet: Way to quote Jason Sudakis in We're The Millers.
Scene 4:
Kevin tries to explain the curse. But ends up stuttering because he was full of fear. The PD is not listening. They’re watching a reality show called: DITCH RAIDERS: EXTREME TRENCH‑OFF Starring Robbie, Delbert, and Hobo Cop. ON TV — Robbie and Delbert wear matching neon vests and sunglasses like ditch‑digging influencers.
Dusty: Hey everybody! Robbie, Delbert, and Hobo Cop are on TV!
Robbie (On TV): Welcome back to Ditch Raiders — the only show where we dig trenches for points!
Delbert (On TV): Tonight we’re going head‑to‑head with our rival — Hobo Cop!
The Camera Cuts to Hobo Cop holding a shovel like a medieval weapon.
Hobo Cop (On TV): I’ve dug more ditches than Paul Newman on Cool Hand Luke.
Back in the station. Kevin begs to everyone to believe him
Kevin: Guys! I’m cursed! I’m gonna die in seven days!
Gina: Shh. Robbie’s about to uncover a vintage sewer pipe.
Bullet: Yeah, Kev. Priorities.
Fitz: Actually, this show is one of our subsidiaries.
Brett: We own the rights to every ditch on screen. Not to mention stocks in the Discovery Channel
Randall: I hate all of you.
Scene 5
The next seven days proved to be frustrating for Kevin. Nobody wanted to be on his side about the cursed tape. In a musical montage Ghost’s Mary On A Cross plays throughout.
DAY 1: Kevin tries to show the tape again. PD still watching Ditch Raiders. Fitz critiques the lighting.
DAY 2: Kevin tries to destroy the tape. Thornbrand magically reappears on his pillow.
DAY 3: Kevin dreams of the Sukura crawling out of the well. Wakes up to Gina holding a knife.
Gina: Just checking.
DAY 4: Bullet tries to smoke the tape. Gets high anyway.
DAY 5: Stanley builds a pillow fort. It collapses instantly. Fitz calls it “structurally unsound.
DAY 6: Randall writes “GOOD RIDDANCE” on Kevin’s locker. Brett spraypaints a Lovely Corp logo. Kevin tries to tell Dusty who was too busy eating to pay attention.
DAY 7: PD finally pays attention.
Scene 6:
In the Paradise PD Headquarters Break Room They watch the tape again. The Sukura falls into the well. The TV begins to shake.
Thornbrand: Ah yes! The grand finale!
Stanley: Oh God oh God oh God. I haven’t seen this much magic since I was on the set of The Devil And Daniel Webster!
The screen stretches outward. A wind sucks them forward
.
Gina: Everyone hold onto your genitals!
Bullet: Too late!
They’re all sucked into the TV. Even Fitz, Brett, and Thornbrand. Now the Paradise PD were inside a well chamber They landed in a moss‑covered stone chamber. Lovely Corp logos are carved into the stones.
Randall: Great. We’re in a sponsored hellhole.
Dusty: As obese as I am. I’m surprised I fit into this well!
The Sukura crawls out of the well like a spider on caffeine. Her name was Sukura.
Sukura: You watched the tape…My name is Sukura.
Kevin: Like that character in Cardcaptors!
Randall: Jesus Christ Kevin! You even watch animes aimed at girls?
Gina: Yeah, and your production value sucks!
Thornbrand: She was supposed to be scarier, but Lovely Corp cut my budget.
Fitz: We believe fear should be fiscally responsible.
Brett: Jump scares don’t monetize well.
Kevin: Come on, guys! Let’s fight and break the curse!
Dusty: Here we gooooo!
Gina lunges, as Bullet, Randall, and even Dusty prepare to fight. Gina tackles her. Bullet bites her ankle. Dusty belly‑flops onto her. Stanley hides.
Randall punches her. Kevin stands on the sidelines and cheers.
Kevin: Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s it! Hit her on the left! Hit her on the right! Kick her ass! Kick her ass! Kick her ass!
Randall: I’ve waited years to hit a child and not get arrested!
Dusty sees Stanley hiding and drags him back.
Stanley: Please please please! Let me go back into hiding!
Dusty: No can do, Stanley! You’re helping us whether you like it or not!
Kevin (chuckles): Now he’s getting brave!
Thornbrand throws glitter spells that do nothing. Sukura throws them back with supernatural force. Kevin runs to the well.
Kevin: If I close the lid, maybe she’ll go back in!
Sakura: NOOOO! YOU ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND! MY PARENTS LOCKED ME IN AND….
Dusty: We don’t give a rat's ass!
The Paradise PD dog‑piles her. Kevin slams the lid. Static burst. She disappears.
Gina: In the words of Joe Biden! Oh fuckl yeah! We just beat the shit out of a ghost child!
Bullet: Putting that on my résumé.
Thornbrand: My masterpiece… defeated by idiots…
Dusty: More like Disasterpiece! That’s a Slipknot album you know!
Fitz: Enjoy your victory for now! We’ll rebrand her.
Brett DeMarco: Maybe make her a TikTok mascot.
Gina: Sure you will Twat Waffles!
Kevin: And we’ll be waiting!
Fitz, Brett, and Thronbrand make their departure.
Scene 7
In a field that night. Robbie, Delbert, and Hobo Cop are filming Ditch Raiders in an empty field.They uncover a trench. A corpse climbs out.
Corpse: Raaaaah!
Robbie: Holy shit! We found a live one!
Delbert: That’s extra points, right?
The Paradise PD pops out of the TV behind them. A slapstick style fight Gina suplexes the corpse. Randall hits it with a shovel. Bullet bites it. Dusty, instead of belly flopping, does a pile driver. Kevin throws dirt at himself. Thornbrand casts useless sparkles. Fitz and Brett take notes for merchandising. Finally, they shove the corpse back into the trench.
Randall: Stay dead, you ditch‑dwelling freak!
Laying down in an empty ditch. Stanley decides to stay.
Stanley: This is my home now. My dirt bed. My soil sanctuary.
A raccoon curls up on him. As Stanley falls asleep.
Scene 8:
As Randall, Kevin, Bullet, Gina, and Dusty try to walk back to Headquarters, Kevin places the tape on a picnic table.
Kevin: We need to destroy it.
Gina: Microwave it.
Randall: Run it over.
Bullet: Smoke it.
Dusty: Eat it. Slow roasted!
Thornbrand: No! My art!
Bullet: What you call art we call shit!
The TV flickers on. The appears again.
Sukura: You cannot escape the curse… Pass the tape on… or suffer…
She begins crawling out of the TV. As fate would have it, Suruka sees the PD. She sees Dusty eating mayonnaise with his hands. She sees Thornbrand crying into his cape. She sees Fitz and Brett arguing about licensing fees. She retreats.
Sukura …You know what? Never mind. You people are scarier than I am. Fuck you all!
The tape explodes into glitter.
Kevin: So… the curse is gone?
Gina: Looks like even the curse gave up on you.
Randall: Can’t blame it.
Fitz: We’ll still invoice you for damages.
Brett DeMarco: And emotional trauma. Which you all deserve.
Fitz and Brett return to Lovely Corp. Dusty and Bullet go to turn on Ditch Raiders. The TV gets stuck replaying Randall screaming like a toddler.
Gina: Looks like the curse isn’t gone after all.
Randall: TURN IT OFF!
Kevin presses buttons. Nothing changes. Randall’s scream loops forever. Until Robbie and Delbert break the television that spits Randall out.
Randall: FUCK! Now I know what a TV Dinner feels like.
Robbie: Looks like we’re the heroes of the day, Delbert!
Delbert: Bow down, bitches!
THE END
Fanfic title:
You’ll Be Dead In A Week
By: Trenton Sands
Scene 1
The station is suspiciously quiet — which in Paradise means someone is either dead, naked, or both. Entering The Paradise PD Headquarters. Kevin holds onto a VHS tape like it’s a cursed relic from The Ring.
Kevin: Guys… I found something. And I think it’s haunted. Or cursed. Or both. Probably both.
Trying to assemble a LEGO model of the Hoover Dam. Randall sits angerly
Randall: Kevin, the only cursed thing in this station is your DNA. What is that, a porno? If it’s another one of Dusty’s “experimental cooking tapes,” I swear—
Then Dusty looks up from a bucket of pudding he’s eating with a gardening trowel.
Dusty: My experimental cooking tapes are art. I'm sending them to Gordon Ramsey! You ever seen a man slow‑dance with a ham while crying to Enya? That’s cinema.
Kevin: It’s not porn! I found it in the evidence room behind a box labeled “DO NOT OPEN".
Randall I MEAN IT.” (freezes):…Oh shit.
Gina (loads her gun): If this tape summons a demon, I’m shooting it. And then I’m shooting Kevin for summoning it. (laughs) Just joking! I would never shoot that twat waffle!
Bullet (rolling a joint): If it summons a demon, I’m asking it if Hell weed hits different.
Stanley: Please tell me it doesn’t have spiders. I can’t do spiders again.
Kevin: Let’s just watch it.
Scene 2
The PD crowds around a TV/VCR combo that looks stolen from a 1998 bowling alley.
Kevin inserts the tape. Static. Then— DISTURBING IMAGES FLASH RAPIDLY:
A cow wearing a prom dress. A fax machine printing pictures of someone’s colon. A doll’s face melting. A raccoon eating a wedding ring. A child’s drawing of Randall labeled “BAD DAD.” A toilet overflowing while the Friends theme plays off‑key. A VHS copy of Howard the Duck on fire. A woman brushing her hair with a hairbrush full of teeth.
Gina: Mother fucking shit!, this looks like Adult Swim threw up.
Bullet: This is what it feels like when I take edibles and watch Teletubbies.
Randall: I haven’t seen imagery this disturbing since Kevin was born.
The screen goes black. A Sukura in a black dress stands at the edge of a stone well. Hair covering her face. Budget Sadako vibes She turns. Falls backward into the well. Static. Then the phone rings.
Kevin answers.
Voice: Seven days.
The phone clicks as Kevin drops the phone.
Kevin: Guys… I think I just got Ring‑cursed.
Randall: Kevin, you were cursed the moment your mother didn’t swallow.
Suddenly The Break Room door slams open in reverse. Fitz and Brett DeMarco who came from Lovely Corp stride in wearing matching suits so shiny they look laminated.
Fitz: We heard someone accessed our intellectual property.
Brett DeMarco: And by “heard,” we mean our surveillance drones saw you touch the tape.
Kevin Wait—this is YOUR tape?!
Fitz: Not exactly. We funded it.
Brett DeMarco: We hired a Magician to create a viral horror experience. He went… off‑script.
Gina: You ass fuckers made a cursed tape?!
Fitz: We prefer the term “immersive brand engagement.”
Scene 3
A puff of purple smoke fills the room. A man in a velvet cape appears, holding a wand shaped like an erect penis.
The Magician: Behold! I am Thornbrand the Malevolent! Creator of the Well Sukura!Architect of terror! And Scene‑time children’s Scene entertainer!
Dusty (runs): AHHHH! THIS IS TO FRIGHTENING FOR ME! I’M OUTTA HERE! LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES!
Bullet (drags Dusty back): Oh no! You’re not ditching us out of fear!
Randall: You tell him, Bullet!
Dusty: But evil magicians scare me. One day my mama took me to the circus and….
Randall: No! This is no time for your childhood flashbacks! You’re helping us with this whether you like it or not!
Dusty: All right! I’ll stay! You win! It doesn’t mean I’m going to like it!
Randall (laughs): Why does your wand look like a penis? He looks like a reject from a Ron Jeremy movie!
Thornbrand: Silence! The curse is real. Seven days… unless you solve my puzzle.
Kevin: What puzzle?! Like that one in the movie Memento?
Thornbrand: The puzzle is that I forgot the puzzle.
Dusty: I can’t wait until this is all over! I feel so trapped! Like Leonardo DiCaprio in Marvin’s Room!
Brett DeMarco (rolls eyes) He’s not great at his job. He keeps stealing ideas from other magicians. One time he got sued by David Copperfield by trying to make the Chicago Sears Tower disappear.
Fitz: But he was cheap.
Dusty: I thought you Lovely Corp people were loaded!
Fitz: Even we have to have a budget!
Dusty: I'm getting outta here! Let me know how it goes!
Bullet (drags Dusty back): Nope! You're just as involved in this as we are!
Randall: Good for you, Bullet! We need you Dusty!
Dusty: But but but you don't understand! I hate magicians! This one time my mama took me to a circus because she was dating one who was going to be my stepdad and...
Randall: No time for your hard luck backstory right now!
Bullet: Way to quote Jason Sudakis in We're The Millers.
Scene 4:
Kevin tries to explain the curse. But ends up stuttering because he was full of fear. The PD is not listening. They’re watching a reality show called: DITCH RAIDERS: EXTREME TRENCH‑OFF Starring Robbie, Delbert, and Hobo Cop. ON TV — Robbie and Delbert wear matching neon vests and sunglasses like ditch‑digging influencers.
Dusty: Hey everybody! Robbie, Delbert, and Hobo Cop are on TV!
Robbie (On TV): Welcome back to Ditch Raiders — the only show where we dig trenches for points!
Delbert (On TV): Tonight we’re going head‑to‑head with our rival — Hobo Cop!
The Camera Cuts to Hobo Cop holding a shovel like a medieval weapon.
Hobo Cop (On TV): I’ve dug more ditches than Paul Newman on Cool Hand Luke.
Back in the station. Kevin begs to everyone to believe him
Kevin: Guys! I’m cursed! I’m gonna die in seven days!
Gina: Shh. Robbie’s about to uncover a vintage sewer pipe.
Bullet: Yeah, Kev. Priorities.
Fitz: Actually, this show is one of our subsidiaries.
Brett: We own the rights to every ditch on screen. Not to mention stocks in the Discovery Channel
Randall: I hate all of you.
Scene 5
The next seven days proved to be frustrating for Kevin. Nobody wanted to be on his side about the cursed tape. In a musical montage Ghost’s Mary On A Cross plays throughout.
DAY 1: Kevin tries to show the tape again. PD still watching Ditch Raiders. Fitz critiques the lighting.
DAY 2: Kevin tries to destroy the tape. Thornbrand magically reappears on his pillow.
DAY 3: Kevin dreams of the Sukura crawling out of the well. Wakes up to Gina holding a knife.
Gina: Just checking.
DAY 4: Bullet tries to smoke the tape. Gets high anyway.
DAY 5: Stanley builds a pillow fort. It collapses instantly. Fitz calls it “structurally unsound.
DAY 6: Randall writes “GOOD RIDDANCE” on Kevin’s locker. Brett spraypaints a Lovely Corp logo. Kevin tries to tell Dusty who was too busy eating to pay attention.
DAY 7: PD finally pays attention.
Scene 6:
In the Paradise PD Headquarters Break Room They watch the tape again. The Sukura falls into the well. The TV begins to shake.
Thornbrand: Ah yes! The grand finale!
Stanley: Oh God oh God oh God. I haven’t seen this much magic since I was on the set of The Devil And Daniel Webster!
The screen stretches outward. A wind sucks them forward
.
Gina: Everyone hold onto your genitals!
Bullet: Too late!
They’re all sucked into the TV. Even Fitz, Brett, and Thornbrand. Now the Paradise PD were inside a well chamber They landed in a moss‑covered stone chamber. Lovely Corp logos are carved into the stones.
Randall: Great. We’re in a sponsored hellhole.
Dusty: As obese as I am. I’m surprised I fit into this well!
The Sukura crawls out of the well like a spider on caffeine. Her name was Sukura.
Sukura: You watched the tape…My name is Sukura.
Kevin: Like that character in Cardcaptors!
Randall: Jesus Christ Kevin! You even watch animes aimed at girls?
Gina: Yeah, and your production value sucks!
Thornbrand: She was supposed to be scarier, but Lovely Corp cut my budget.
Fitz: We believe fear should be fiscally responsible.
Brett: Jump scares don’t monetize well.
Kevin: Come on, guys! Let’s fight and break the curse!
Dusty: Here we gooooo!
Gina lunges, as Bullet, Randall, and even Dusty prepare to fight. Gina tackles her. Bullet bites her ankle. Dusty belly‑flops onto her. Stanley hides.
Randall punches her. Kevin stands on the sidelines and cheers.
Kevin: Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s it! Hit her on the left! Hit her on the right! Kick her ass! Kick her ass! Kick her ass!
Randall: I’ve waited years to hit a child and not get arrested!
Dusty sees Stanley hiding and drags him back.
Stanley: Please please please! Let me go back into hiding!
Dusty: No can do, Stanley! You’re helping us whether you like it or not!
Kevin (chuckles): Now he’s getting brave!
Thornbrand throws glitter spells that do nothing. Sukura throws them back with supernatural force. Kevin runs to the well.
Kevin: If I close the lid, maybe she’ll go back in!
Sakura: NOOOO! YOU ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND! MY PARENTS LOCKED ME IN AND….
Dusty: We don’t give a rat's ass!
The Paradise PD dog‑piles her. Kevin slams the lid. Static burst. She disappears.
Gina: In the words of Joe Biden! Oh fuckl yeah! We just beat the shit out of a ghost child!
Bullet: Putting that on my résumé.
Thornbrand: My masterpiece… defeated by idiots…
Dusty: More like Disasterpiece! That’s a Slipknot album you know!
Fitz: Enjoy your victory for now! We’ll rebrand her.
Brett DeMarco: Maybe make her a TikTok mascot.
Gina: Sure you will Twat Waffles!
Kevin: And we’ll be waiting!
Fitz, Brett, and Thronbrand make their departure.
Scene 7
In a field that night. Robbie, Delbert, and Hobo Cop are filming Ditch Raiders in an empty field.They uncover a trench. A corpse climbs out.
Corpse: Raaaaah!
Robbie: Holy shit! We found a live one!
Delbert: That’s extra points, right?
The Paradise PD pops out of the TV behind them. A slapstick style fight Gina suplexes the corpse. Randall hits it with a shovel. Bullet bites it. Dusty, instead of belly flopping, does a pile driver. Kevin throws dirt at himself. Thornbrand casts useless sparkles. Fitz and Brett take notes for merchandising. Finally, they shove the corpse back into the trench.
Randall: Stay dead, you ditch‑dwelling freak!
Laying down in an empty ditch. Stanley decides to stay.
Stanley: This is my home now. My dirt bed. My soil sanctuary.
A raccoon curls up on him. As Stanley falls asleep.
Scene 8:
As Randall, Kevin, Bullet, Gina, and Dusty try to walk back to Headquarters, Kevin places the tape on a picnic table.
Kevin: We need to destroy it.
Gina: Microwave it.
Randall: Run it over.
Bullet: Smoke it.
Dusty: Eat it. Slow roasted!
Thornbrand: No! My art!
Bullet: What you call art we call shit!
The TV flickers on. The appears again.
Sukura: You cannot escape the curse… Pass the tape on… or suffer…
She begins crawling out of the TV. As fate would have it, Suruka sees the PD. She sees Dusty eating mayonnaise with his hands. She sees Thornbrand crying into his cape. She sees Fitz and Brett arguing about licensing fees. She retreats.
Sukura …You know what? Never mind. You people are scarier than I am. Fuck you all!
The tape explodes into glitter.
Kevin: So… the curse is gone?
Gina: Looks like even the curse gave up on you.
Randall: Can’t blame it.
Fitz: We’ll still invoice you for damages.
Brett DeMarco: And emotional trauma. Which you all deserve.
Fitz and Brett return to Lovely Corp. Dusty and Bullet go to turn on Ditch Raiders. The TV gets stuck replaying Randall screaming like a toddler.
Gina: Looks like the curse isn’t gone after all.
Randall: TURN IT OFF!
Kevin presses buttons. Nothing changes. Randall’s scream loops forever. Until Robbie and Delbert break the television that spits Randall out.
Randall: FUCK! Now I know what a TV Dinner feels like.
Robbie: Looks like we’re the heroes of the day, Delbert!
Delbert: Bow down, bitches!
THE END
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