FicWad

'How did your crew manage to enrage the entire Lapin population!?'
Chopper hands off the binoculars to Nami.
'Well, given the absurd number of diced corpses we found floating down the river, I'm guessing Zoro had something to do with it.'
Nami hands them off to Sanji.
'Yeah, Moss head really went overboard this time. There's at least a thousand of the vermin crouched on shore.' Sanji hands off the binoculars to Luffy.
'At least Usopp's keeping the Merry away from the rocks they're throwing at them. And we know they're safe, so isn't this a good thing?'
The group, save Nojiko, who is feeling her new deerskin jacket, look to their captain.
Nami points in front of them. 'Luffy, there's literally an army of cannibal monster rabbits between us and our only way off the island. Do you think that's a good thing!?'
The crew's captain looks out from their sleigh. Pulled by a herd of twenty mechanically augmented reindeer, the wooden tracks easily cut through the snowy scenery. The armored, mobile fortress, bristling with defenses, rests atop a cliff, providing the group with an unimpeded view of the shore.
The shore of Drum is packed with a seething mass of angry Lapins, howling and hurling debris in futile rage at a distant boat that bobs just beyond their reach. The impacts from their thrown branches and snowballs churn the sea, and their frustrated cries echo for miles as they scream after those who escaped them.
Their anger doesn't frighten the Strawhat Hat's captain in the slightest. Luffy munches on the jerky in his hand. 'Well, I have meat to eat so that's definitely a good thing!'
'Stop stealing my protein!' Chopper growls, snatching the stick from the captain's hand. 'It's bad enough I allowed your chef to raid my larders, now you're doing it too!'
'But Sanji's meals are great! Didn't you enjoy it?'
'...that's not the point!'
'Blegh!' Nojiko spits out her ration. 'Nojiko hate meat taste.'
'Interesting!' Chopper muses, his mood changing on a dime. 'It would seem your tastes have changed as well. Perhaps influenced by your Devil Fruit? Or was it the brain surgery?'
Nami slaps both of the boys upside the head. 'We're going off topic! What the heck are we going to do!? Because in case you two haven't noticed, our only way off this island is blocked off by an army of those flesh-eating monsters!'
'Just be grateful Lapins can not swim.' Chopper straightens his black hat. 'Otherwise your friends would be digesting in their stomachs.'
'They safe?' Nojiko asks with genuine concern.
'Hold on. Let me check.' Fishing around the pouches on her plague suit, Nami pulls out a small lantern. 'Drat. It's out of fuel!'
Chopper sighs. Reaching into a compartment, he pulls out a cylindrical tube with a gear on one end. 'Here. Use this.'
Nami looks at it. 'An electron torch? Will it be bright enough?'
The doctor rolls his eyes. 'It's called a flashlight, and yes, they may be hand-powered, but it should be bright enough to be seen clearly on a night like this. Just make sure the Lapins don't notice.'
She nods, taking the tube from him and handing it to the chef. 'Sanji, spin the dial on the end.'
'Yes, Nami Swan!' His dexterous hands move in a blur, spinning the gear at the rear of the flashlight to charge the device.
Nami snatches it away. 'That should be good. Thanks, Sanji.'
She points the end of the tube with the glass lens towards the ship and presses a button. A steady beam of white light flashes from the end.
'What you do Nami?'
'I'm signing them, Nojiko.' Nami turns the flashlight on and off. 'A bright light on a dark night will be sure to get... aha! There they are!'
The group watches as a small flame lights up on the ship.
'Okay. Now let's hope Usopp remembers Morse code.'
The navigator flashes the light on and off several times in rapid succession.
Finishing her communication, she waits for a full minute. Eventually the flame on the Merry flickers several times.
'Thank goodness.' Nami breathes a sigh of relief. 'Everyone is fine. They're just exhausted staying out of range of the Lapin.'
'Why don't they just move further out?'
'Good question, Sanji. I'll ask.'
Nami mans the light again, sending her response out into the dark. She gets a reply a minute later.
'Apparently they've been sailing around the island looking for signs of us.' Nami states. 'We've been out for nearly two days, so they've been worried.'
The fire on the Merry flashes.
'Hold on.' Nami watches the light. 'They're asking if we're okay and if we found Dr Kureha.'
'Tell your friends you're working on it.' Chopper says.
'Nami.' She turns to Luffy. 'Tell them we're fine and going to get Kureha. We'll find our way to them after we get her. Can you do that?'
Nami nods. 'Doing, Captain.'
The flashlight illuminates the dark in short bursts, carrying the message across a vast space. Then darkness.
'Did they get it?' Luffy asks.
The flame on the Merry blazes once.
'They got it.' Nami hands the light to the doctor. 'Now the easy part, scaling a thousand-foot mountain to assault a fortress fortified by a mad king who can create monsters.'
'And we're doing it without backup.' Sanji reminds her. 'No pressure.'
'Nojiko ready.' The girl flexes her muscles. 'Nojiko strong now.'
'Yeah, Nami.' Luffy says with enthusiasm. 'I'm sure Chop her has a way up the mountain.'
'It's Chopper and yes. If it hasn't been discovered, then we can take the auto line up the mountain.' The doctor muses. 'In fact, a smaller party might be more advantageous. That way we can sneak by any of Wapol's guards.'
'See Nami!' Luffy pats her on the back. 'We'll go up, beat the evil guy, and rescue Chop her's mom. You'll see.' He smiles broadly. 'Everything's gonna be fine!'
...
'Gonna be fine, huh?!' Nami presses the trigger of her gun, frying the synapses of a charging winged horror with a bolt of lightning.
The sled fires off a barrage of automatic weapons fire to slaughter the flying creatures attempting to kill them.
DfTFDFFTZFFTFGFF!
The swarm of insect-like creatures falls on their sled from every direction. The speed of the crew's passage through the whipping snow is dwarfed by the quantity of creatures attacking them from every direction.
'Nami, watch it!' Sanji's boot shatters the jaw of a living mouth with feathered wings. 'Chopper! Nami Swan almost got hurt!'
'I'm taking evasive actions now!' The doctor behind the reins shouts. 'How was I supposed to know Wapol's mutants would have the brain power to set up an ambush?! They're barely smart enough to eat, let alone plan tactics!?'
A mass of feathered tentacles grips the front of the sled.
ErrreRrRREEEERRR!
'Bull Axe!' Nojiko in her hybrid form swings her bladed weapon, bisecting the creature in two and splattering its black gore across the front of the sled. 'Chop-Chop! Get out here!?'
'I'm trying F39!' Chopper flips several switches in front of the speeding sled. Gouts of flaming jelly spew out the back of the sled. The flying beasts following them scream in agony as they are cremated. 'We're almost there! Get ready to disembark! Luffy, clear the way in front!'
The captain stretches his arms. 'Gomu no GATTLING!'
A volley of lengthened punches shoots out ahead of their craft, shattering the beasts barring their path. Their bodies are blown back or perish beneath the hooves and tracks of the speeding vehicle.
'Chop her! What are we looking for?' Luffy braces his eyes against the driving snow. 'Do we get to use cool jetpacks!?'
'Look for a grey chain camouflaged against the mountain!' He pulls another switch and a cloud of smoke erupts behind the sled, obscuring it. 'And you know my name, it's not "Chop Her" get it right!'
Nami cranks her gun and fires off a bolt of lightning at a straggler that made it through the smoke. 'And you know Nojiko's name! Get it right, and we'll talk about your nicknames!'
'But Nojiko like Chop-Chop!' Nojiko slaps a bat-winged mass into a line of trees with the flat of her blade. 'Good nickname!'
'Kick Course!' Sanji spins about, nailing the last of the monsters that caught up to them. He watches as it flies backwards and smashes into a tree. 'And how are we supposed to find a single gray chain hidden around a giant-sized mountain!?'
Chopper raises his head and sniffs the whooshing air around him, his bestial senses searching for a familiar antiseptic smell indicating his secret path to Wapol's castle. 'There!' He points to an indistinct section of mountainside that appears completely devoid of features.
Nami squints and, with her keen eyes, spots a nearly invisible chain hanging in the wind near a small pile of snow. The length of forged metal produces a somber clanking sound with every gust of wind. 'Is that chain it?!' She looks back at the persistent horde around them. 'There's no way we can climb up that while these things are surrounding us!'
'Good thing we're not climbing it then.' He flips a few switches on the side of the console. 'Nami, there should be a white sheet under the right back seat. Grab it!'
TTTTEEETTTEETTEEEE-
'Gomu no Bazoka!'
A huge mass of maws is punched in half by the force of Luffy's attack.
Nami, focused on the urgent situation and disregarding the threatening horde, shoulders her rifle and reaches down to grab the length of fabric. Her skepticism is evident as she questions, 'How's a dirty bed sheet going to help us?' She adds, her tone tinged with disbelief, 'Are we supposed to smother them to death with it!?'
Chopper ignores her and, with grim determination, slams a big red button hidden under the sled's console. A huge cloud of smoke spews out from the machine.
Nami coughs frantically from the sudden intake of the cloud.
Nojiko gags from the rancid smell.
Sanji and Luffy rub the noxious chemicals tainting their eyes, causing their eyes to water.
'Everyone! Jump now!' Chopper shouts as he throws himself over the side of the metal sloping side of the sled.
A huge snow white cloud covers the entire battlefield around them, obscuring everything in sight in a fluttering shroud of white.
Hhjjhjjjjjjjhjjjjj
A swarm of protean beasts plunges through the blinding smoke, their gaping pits of teeth dripping caustic saliva. Their bestial senses follow the sound of hooves crunching through snow and metal treads clanking loud enough to wake the dead.
HJHJHHJJJHJJHHJ
They all run/slump/play/lurch past the lumpy white snowbank that wasn't there a moment before. The single-minded pursuit of their prey causes the wastes of flesh to ignore the meaningless object as they follow the smoking carriage. Slowly the sounds of the creatures fade and the snowy field returns to an eerie calm.
Nami throws the white sheet off of them and breathes a sigh of relief that they went unnoticed. She looks to Chopper. 'You could have told me the plan before we jumped out!'
'Ssshhh!' Chopper listens to the quiet for a moment. His honed senses listen in the night for sounds of imminent death.
After a few minutes, he also sighs in relief as the silence carries on. 'I knew you would understand such a basic plan. You are obviously the most intelligent one in your little group.'
Nojiko pulls her head from the snow, brushing off her fur coat. 'Nojiko smart!'
'And I don't like to brag...' Sanji prepares for his self-embellishment.
'Wow, Chopper, great plan!' Luffy says, cutting him off. 'Those dumb animals ran right past us! No wonder you're a doctor; you're really smart.'
'...'
'Chopper? Are you okay?' Luffy asks. 'Your face looks kinda-'
'S-Shut up, human!' The beast-doctor roars with faux anger. 'I-I'm not going to like you just cause you complimented me, you bastard!'
'Ssssshhh!' Nami shushes the blushing doctor.
Chopper manages to calm himself. 'Sorry I'm... not used to receiving positive feedback.' He walks towards the chain. 'Now hurry, we have to get to Wapol's castle before his horde gets back.'
'And will be back?' Nojiko asks as the crew follows their guide.
'Eventually, but the sled's automatic defenses and autopilot will keep them busy.' The doctor walks over to the chain and grips it. 'The emergency switch sent a command to the servers to keep pulling the sleigh until we're up the mountain.'
Luffy looks up; the top of the peak is higher than he can even see and obscured with flurries of snow. 'If we're not climbing, though, how do we get up?'
Chopper grips the chain and fastens a clip from his belt around one of the loops. 'Check the harnesses I gave you. There should be a hook there. Fasten it to the chain, and we'll be up in no time.'
Sanji looks down at the belt he's wearing. 'Wondered why you had us wear these.'
'Less talking.' The doctor states coldly. 'Do you want to wait for Wapol's monsters to circle back?'
The Strawhats look at each other and decide collectively that they do not. Trudging through the snow, they latch their harnesses to the chain without backtalk.
Chopper nods. 'Good, now hold on for dear life.' He grips the chain with two hands and, with a massive exertion, pulls it down to his waist.
'Why is tha-'
Luffy's train of thought derails as the chain is yanked upwards at tremendous, neck-shattering speed. The four Straw Hats scream in panic as the length of metal is pulled upwards into the frigid skies. The other end of the anchor, freed from the snow, travels behind the panicking pirates as they travel up into the air.
Chopper takes in their surprise with a feral grin. 'I probably should have warned you the sky anchor can pull you at nearly two hundred and forty miles an hour!'
'Cccccccllluuuucckk yooouuuu Chhhooopppppeerrr!' Nami spins about as her harness flexes and bends.
Sanji grabs her, stopping her death spiral. 'I've got you, Nami Swaaaaann! Nojiko chan! Are you okay!?'
'Wwwweeeeeeeeeee!' Nojiko grips the chain; her starry eyes sparkle as she enjoys the sensation of speed. 'Nojiko liiiikkkkee!'
'Shhhiiii ha ha ha!' Luffy laughs along with her. 'This is greeeeeat! We have to come back and do this with Zoro and Usssssoooopp!'
'Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it!' Chopper says with genuine interest. 'Because our stop is just ahead! Look up!'
The pirates raise their faces against the frigid winds to see the white crest of the mountain top.
'Get ready to let go! And watch out for the anchor behind us!'
The narrow strip of white grows wider and wider until eventually it fills their vision. In under a second, the crew of pirates reaches the top of the mountain, feeling the snowy piles of ice smash against their coats.
'Roll away!' Chopper unfastens the belt around his waist and lets the momentum roll him away.
As one, the Strawhats follow suit, releasing their belts and sliding out of the way as the half-ton anchor barrels behind them. They watch as the massive metal hook slams into a large coil of metal links spinning around a titanic wooden pole with a bone-shaking crash. Seconds of merciful silence pass before anyone dares to speak.
Shakily, Chopper rises to his feet. 'Made it, and without any casualties.' He dusts the snow off of his coat.
Luffy jumps to his feet, his boots crushing the snow under him. 'As if an anchor could take me down!'
'Aren't you an anchor in seawater, Luffy?' Sanji shakes the snow off his coat.
'And Nojiko, now that you think about it.' Nami says, joining the group.
'...big castle.' Nojiko looks at the fortress squatting in front of them.
'That it is.' Chopper states with a grim tone. 'My esteemed guests. Welcome to Drum Castle. Home of the illustrious Wapol, king of Drum.'
Ignoring the doctor's heavy sarcasm, the group takes in the sight of the dilapidated flesh-covered structure. While it is clear that it had once been made of beautiful white stone, its current state is anything but pleasing to the eye. Pulsating flesh covers the outside of the structure, dripping black, red, and brown fluids down the iced-over walls before freezing into grotesque stalactites. Iron nails and metal clips hold the mixed biological material together, fur and skin forming a patchwork band of undulating tissue around the haunted castle. The completely barren hill around it only makes the twisted fortress appear even more unnatural.
'...urp.' Nami gags. 'What in the hells?'
'Is that... is it alive?!' Sanji asks himself.
'Biologically yes.' Chopper fiddles with a glowing screen on his gauntlets as he scans the mutated building for signs of change. 'After the rebels detonated his armory, Wapol used his munch power to repair his beloved castle. To ensure it could repel any invaders and punish his guards responsible for letting it happen, he created a living fortress that would automatically attack any who approached. I barely made it out alive from my first jaunt inside, and I didn't get very far.'
Nami draws and preps her rifle. 'So, I'm guessing its appearance isn't just to disgust new arrivals.'
'It is not.' Chopper shuts off the screen. 'Expect claws, sharp teeth, and projectile acid along with whatever weapons the good King fused into it.'
'Joy.' Sanji spits out, obviously sickened by the sight of the structure in front of him. 'So where's our point of entrance?'
The doctor points forward and to the left. 'Left lower gate near the Dungeon. We'll-'
'Incoming!' Luffy shouts.
Several scabby pustules burst open from the side of the castle, revealing flesh-covered cannons pointed at their small group.
BOOM BOOM BOOM
The rusted-over mortars fire out a barrage of shells, exploding mere meters in front of them.
'Where did Wapol get Cannons!?' Chopper shields himself from the blast with his arms. 'He's been out of ammo for months!'
Nami dashes past him. 'Less talk! Luffy, cover us! Chopper, lead us to the opening!'
BOOM BOOM BOOM
Another volley of cannon fire sails towards them.
Luffy and Sanji run up to meet them.
'Gomu no...' Luffy inflates his body to a massive size. 'Balloon!' Several of the rust-covered balls bounce off his inflated hide back towards the castle.
Sanji backflips in the air. 'Collier shot!' Catching two cannonballs on his ankles, he sends them back at the cannons.
The projectiles hit the fleshy masses; something akin to a hissing scream echoes through the building. More cannons poke their way out of the rotten bellies of the building, each one just as twisted as the first.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
The fire grows more frantic as wild shots seek to hit something of worth with their undisciplined volley. They fail miserably.
Nami is first to the gate. With a fluid movement, she fries a collection of spiked tentacles attempting to lash out at them, letting loose a bolt of lightning that singes flesh and stone around the ingress. 'I'm at the gate!' She shouts, kneeling in front of a rust-covered lock. 'Give me fifteen seconds!'
'Give me one!' Sanji shouts, leaping towards it right foot first. 'Poitrein!'
His foot blows the gate off its hinges, opening a dark, musty path into the bowels of the castle.
'That works too.' Nami turns to the rest. 'Luffy! Chopper! Nojiko! Hurry... Nojiko, what are you doing!?'
The group turns to see Nojiko stuck in some distorted beast shape, facedown in the dirty snow. The right side of the body is human while her left is full Bison.
'Nojiko... ugh...stuck.'
The cannons turn towards the prone target.
'Nojiko, run!' Nami shouts.
'Tch! Idiot!' Chopper turns on a dime, running towards the girl. 'Luffy, cover me!'
'Got it!' The captain follows.
The flesh of the castle quivers as a fleshy orifice opens in the wall. Pushing its way out into the open air, a massive six-barreled behemoth births itself, bearing down on the stationary target.
Chopper reaches the bull girl. 'F39! Change back to normal! Hurry!'
Nojiko's body morphs... into a bull's upper half and a human's lower. 'Try too! Transform hard!'
The cannon barrel cycles behind them with a massive click. Bile leaks from the barrels, staining the white snow brown.
'You're having devil fruit problems!?' Luffy asks, reaching the two.
'Think so!' Nojiko transforms into someone with tiny hooves for limbs. 'Tried to become bull! No work!'
'Bison!' Chopper shouts. 'You're supposed to think about becoming a bison to transform!'
BKOOOOOOOMMMM!
A shockwave crests over the mountain top. The force of the cannon throws ten tons of snow into the air and hurls a shell the size of a house at them.
'Damn!' Chopper throws a small yellow pill into his mouth, biting it in half with a single chomp. 'Rumble!'
The blast hits, and in a flash of light the three vanish.
'Nojiko! Luffy!' Nami shouts, trying to run out to them.
'Nami no!' Sanji stops her with a firm hand.
They watch as the dust clears, revealing a blackened crater where their friends used to be, as well as a massive wall of singed brown fur.
'Gugh!' The wall grunts with a gruff voice. 'Guard point!'
'Is that Chopper?!' Nami shouts, her voice filled with relief and surprise.
The wall transforms, taking a more human shape with long, muscular legs. The two humans behind him find themselves quickly gripped in the transformed creature's arms.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
The other cannons sing out as they fire off another volley to kill the intruders.
'Jump Point!' His legs propel them far above the blasts below them.
But the abomination of a castle isn't done yet. The six-barreled cannon cycles and chambers a new round, preparing to snipe the midair target.
'No way you're shooting us again!' Luffy slaps Chopper's thinner arm. 'Chopper! Throw me at it!'
Chopper shrugs. 'You're the captain! Muscle point!' His legs transform into short stubs while his biceps swell into massive hulking muscles. 'Hugh!'
The doctor chucks the rubber boy towards the fortress-cracking cannon. The fearless pirate grins with excitement as he sails towards the ready-to-fire barrel. 'Let's see whose cannon is better!' He stretches his arms backwards. 'Gomu no...'
The hammer falls.
'BAZOOKA!' Luffy's hands rocket forward, smashing the barrel from above.
BKhecKOOOOOMMM!
The front of the bent barrel bends inwards and explodes under the force. Twisted metal and scraps of flaming flesh fall like rain as an explosion rips half the castle open. The unearthly whine grows louder as the barely sentient flesh is set on fire. An unearthly howl of pain and rage echoes across Drum as cascading explosions bloom out from the fleshy masses that once sported cannons.
'Luffy!' Nami shouts as she watches the damaged flesh writhe over the damaged building like a pink mold. The plague-afflicted masses grow, leaking and leaching off the stone around them in a futile attempt to siphon nutrients from stone.
Chopper smashes into the ground in front of them with a thud, taking in the devastation caused by the pirate's single attack. 'Well, it seems Luffy's cannon was better.'
'Is that all you have to say, doctor but hole!?' Nami grabs the doctor to chew him out. 'What were you thinking throwing him straight at a gun!? Now we don't even know where he is!'
'Nojiko, see Luffy!' Nojiko, in her human form, raises and waves her hand. 'Luffy, land inside creep castle!'
'See. He is fine.' Chopper slaps Nami's hand away. 'Anyone who could kill hundreds of mutants by himself wouldn't be felled by one explosion.'
'So you threw our captain into a...' Nami shakes her head. Realizing they have more important things to worry about. 'Ugh. Fine, but only because Luffy told you to.'
'Luffy will be fine, Nami.' The chef kicks away a falling metal spike. 'So Buthole doctor, what was that? You eat a devil fruit too?'
Nojiko sniffs him. 'He smells like deer.'
'You're a deer man!?'
Chopper gets upset at Nami's insinuation. 'We're wasting time. Wapol will have heard that explosion, and there's no telling what forces he could still throw at us.' He pushes his way past him. 'So unless you want to find out, I'd shut your mouths and follow me. We have a long way to go.'
........
'That was a big explosion.' Luffy looks down at his half-burnt coat, his shoulder and half his bare waist exposed to the cold air around him. 'Good thing this castle is warm. Kinda.'
The captain looks around at the wet, dark hallway. Moth-eaten tapestries, puddles of frozen bile, and rusted debris are everywhere. He glances behind him at his entrance into the hallway, the stained glass window shattered beyond recognition.
'Well, the others are fine, so that's what's important.' He starts walking down the brightest-looking hallway, hoping his intuition serves him well. 'Now, while they find the granny doctor, I just have to kick Wapol's but and everything will be great. I just need to...'
He runs into something coming around a corner. Something hard.
'Ow!' He backs up and readies his fists. 'Watch what you...'
The thing in front of him doesn't respond.
It can't, given its mouth is nailed shut with metal plates. Though the humanoid thing is dressed as a butler, its body is anything but human. Its arms are bent into a wavy "U" shape with two filled platters on top of it. In place of two legs, it has a set of four wheels placed on the end of four metal points. Its white skin, if it could be called that, is saggy and sallow, resembling spoiled milk more than a healthy pink.
'W-What in the abyss?' Luffy prepares to smash whatever it is to scraps.
He stops.
His eyes widen at the treasure the thing is carrying in its plate-like upper limbs. Fifty sheshkebabs of steaming hot meat, fresh from the grill.
'Is that...' Luffy sniffs the pleasant aroma coming from the platter. 'Is that a plate of meat?'
The creature with plates for hands nods, turns around, and wheels off.
'H-Hey! Come back!' The captain runs after the food, all thoughts of danger replaced with the need to scavenge for his absolute favorite food. 'At least let me try some!'
The thing wheels faster.
'Gomu no Fishing Line!' Luffy's hand shoots out, reaching for the succulent morsels. His fingers scrape the honey-drizzled snack.
But then the thing ducks down another hallway and the powerful captain falls on his face. 'Pftt! Darn you!' He spits grime from his mouth and leaps to his feet in hot pursuit. 'No fair keeping the good meat to yourself! Come back!'
...
A thing with a cannon for a body is smashed in half by a downward kick. 'I thought you said Wapol didn't have any soldiers left!' Sanji looks down in pits as the thing drools blood from its maw.
A saw bisects a living suit of armor. 'Soldiers imply the ability to follow orders.' Chopper retracts the black gore-covered saw blade as they finish off the last of the creatures. 'These things have lost all reason. They're worse than animals at this point.'
Nami lights a torch on the wall, adding a little more light to the stereotypical dungeon. 'They know we're here now. So what's the plan, Chopper?'
'The plan...' Chopper pulls Nojiko away from a living candlestick who is currently burning from his own fat. 'Is to find Kurena in these dungeons.' He sniffs around, only to grip his nose in revulsion. 'The smell of the filth is unfortunately drowning out any human scents. Nojiko? Do you smell anything?'
She sniffs the air. 'Pee U!' She clutches her nose. 'Stinky!'
The doctor sighs, walking past another empty room. 'Then the hard way it is. We'll navigate to the newer portion of the prisons. Hopefully she's in D Wing, but if not, we search the cells one by one.'
Nami follows him, looking around at the dozens of rusty bars and chains linked into holes in the walls. Their surroundings look like a prison designed to scare vicious pirates straight. Rusted bars, solitary stone cells, and piles of dilapidated chains are everywhere around them. The only difference is that none of the cells are filled with rowdy prisoners. Just silence, isolation... and an extremely well-locked cell off in the distance.
'Found it!' Nami sings to herself, skipping over to the door.
'Great find, Nami Swan!' Sanji dances over to her. 'It's only natural someone so beautiful would be so observant of beauty!'
The group looks over to the fortified, sealed-off, and chained door sticking out of the wall like a sore thumb. The surrounding wall is a solid reinforced metal plate without a hole or rivet. The door itself is a meter-thick block of metal with a navy blue sheen. There appear to be no locks, no windows, and no means of opening the block.
'Nami...' Nojiko shivers. Her instincts scream out to her, causing her hair to stand on end. 'Cell bad. Not open.'
Nami ignores her. 'Wow! Wapol certainly spared no expense! A Vega-Stasis Cell 309!? And plated with seastone!? I've barely even heard of these!' She kneels to the airtight seal and finds one of sixty key holes. 'Talk about a challenge!'
'Nami.' Chopper says with a tremor of fear. 'Get away from that cell.'
'What are you talking about, Dr Buthole?' Nami smirks, fiddling with the lock. 'We finally find a cell that could hold someone, and you don't want me...'
Chopper grabs her arm, gripping it with near-crushing force and pulling her away.
'Nami swan!'
'Nami? Chop-Chop?'
The thief grunts. 'Chopper, what the abyss are...'
Nami looks into the doctor's eyes and sees something she never expected to see. Fear. Terror capable of shaking a mad doctor who regularly performed biological experimentation to his core.
'Don't.' His hands shake as he pulls her away. 'That cell... should NEVER be opened.'
'...' She looks at the heavily armored door, the dozens of locks. 'Whose cell is this?'
'...if IT is still alive after ten years with no food or water?' Chopper walks back down the hall. 'Drum's greatest mistake.'
Sanji reluctantly follows. 'Ten years!? They starved, whatever it is, to death?'
'...starved, yes.'
'Then it's obvious he's, or she's, long gone.' Sanji thumbs at the cell behind him. 'If you ask me, your mom's probably in that cell waiting on us to save her.'
The doctor turns around and stares him down with beady eyes. 'Sanji, if that cell was opened even for a second, everyone on this Island would already be dead.' He turns back to his task of searching. 'Now come on. Help me search for a guarded cell. One that won't kill us if we open it.'
'...'
'...'
'...'
'...okay then, onto more important topics then.' Sanji walks past him. 'Your mom. Is she hot?'
Chopper smashes the top of his head into a bar, bending his hat. 'OW! I'm not even going to dignify that with a response!'
'Sanji!? Did you even see that picture?'
'Nami swan.' Sanji smoothly smiles. 'You should know pictures don't give the true measure of a woman's beauty; after all, filters these days can be so misleading. You must see a woman in person to truly appreciate everything she has to offer. Plus the rest of her body was pretty shapely, so until I see proof otherwise I choose to believe she's a flower of motherly bounty.'
'Nojiko?' Nami asks. 'If you would.'
'Sorry, Sanji.'
Wham!
...
A door slams open, throwing away any veneer of stealth or forethought.
Luffy pants, leaning against the door frame. 'Man, Mr Wheels is fast!' He wipes sweat off his brow. 'But I finally... caught... up...'
The captain of the Straw Hats takes in the view before him. A beautiful candle-lit room lies in front of the pirate, its walls adorned with pictures of victorious monarchs. A crystal chandelier filled with hundreds of pounds of dripping wax illuminates the feasting table under it.
And what a feast!
The table is piled high with enough food to stuff an entire village and of peerless quality. Hundreds of chocolate cakes, sweet rolls the size of a giant's pupil, and bathtubs filled with pudding rest in the dessert section. Tons of shredded meat with no sign of plague or discoloration fill platters stretching to the ceilings. Even the fruits and vegetables look divine to the meat-loving pirate, sautéed in butter, fried in olive oil, and a pot of steaming cheese for dipping. Hundreds of crystal decanters of juices, wines, and savory drinks lie on a movable dolly to the side. The smell of the freshly prepared food is overpowering.
And more is being added.
The servants(?) drop more and more food on the table. The legs of the table creak and shake with every pound of food they drop on top of it. Still, they drop more from their silver platters as if indicating no amount of food could ever be enough.
Luffy's mouth resembles a waterfall, drool splashing on the floor beneath him. 'It's... it's like Sanji cooked a hundred pantries of food...'
He zips over to the side of the table, looming at the sheshkebabs of grilled meat he first noticed. He reaches towards it.
'Shoot! Where are my manners?!' He turns to one of the wax colored golems dropping food. 'Excuse me, uh... whatever your name is! Can I have some!?'
'...' no response.
'I mean, you have so much, you wouldn't miss a tiny plate of food, right?'
'...' no response.
'You wouldn't let the future pirate king grow hungry? Right!?'
'...' no response.
'...don't blink if you want me to have some.'
'...' no response.
'Good enough for me!' Luffy reaches over and stuffs twenty sticks of meat into his mouth.
'Mmmmmmmm! Ish ooo oud!' Luffy swallows it down. His face is a mask of joy and contentment. 'Not as good as Sanji's or the old Barate guy, but still really good!'
He wipes his mouth. 'Thanks, wheels! That was tasty!'
'...' The figure nods and wheels away.
'Yeah. That was really good... but...' he looks at the rest of the platter. 'Now the plate's half full. And leaving a plate half full is an insult to a cook!'
Luffy slaps the rim of the plate, sending the spears filled with meat into the air. The wooden sticks are bare before they hit the ground.
'Yum! Now to find the others!' Luffy walks away.
And turns one hundred and eighty degrees. 'But now I have to get something to wash this meat down. That pudding looks good!'
Picking up the ceramic bowl bigger than him with his prodigious strength, he guzzles the entire bowl.
'BBBuuuurrrPPP! That was really tasty! Yeah, the pudding was really sour! Too sour! Now I have to have something sweet to get rid of it!'
A plate of walnut-filled brownies covered in caramel sauce and whipped cream is vanquished.
'Now that hit the spot! Now I really need to find the others... right after this plate!'
A platter of fried mushrooms with cheese-stuffed centers is dumped into his gullet.
'But what about the fruits? I don't want them feeling like they aren't delicious enough to eat!'
A barrel of candied cherries vanishes into Luffy's mouth.
'...But what about...'
A cake the size of a man is reduced to scraps.
'Murph! Ith a ame nosh to innish iss!'
A full suckling pig, bones and all, is devoured.
Giant asparagus is shredded.
Cheesy potatoes are mashed.
Steaks are staked.
The table of food quakes as more and more of its contents vanish down Luffy's stomach. The servers keep dropping more and more food, driven by their directives and fear of piling more and more food for the upcoming banquet.
And the bottomless stomach keeps eating.
More food arrives at the table, the mutated servers oblivious to the fact that more than half is gone.
Oblivious that is until the doors slowly creak open. The servers scatter at the sound, tripping over themselves to leave the room as quickly as possible.
A mass of muscle and blight enters the dining room and stomps towards its prize. Its twitching, fur-covered body promises violence and death to any in its way. A furry hippo pelt and greasy chainmail are grafted to its body by swollen black tumors. Its face is a mass of pimples and sickly rotting flesh.
But its most notable feature is its jaw. A lantern jaw nearly bigger than its massive, round form, made entirely of metal plate and burnt skin poking through the gaps. The throat is a swollen mess of black pustules, broken teeth, and silverware stuck to the masses. The jaw hangs open, unable to open fully against the swollen hinges covered in pitted pimples.
It stomps towards the oblivious thief. One step. Two. Three.
Luffy doesn't even notice. So engrossed is he in eating food not tainted by plague that he is blind to everything around him.
At least until a dark shadow falls over the plate in front of him.
Luffy freezes, a bone in his mouth. He feels something behind him. Swallowing his mouthful of food, he turns around and comes face to face with Wapol, king of Drum. His skin crawls at the sight of the mutated monstrosity looming behind him. His previous unquenchable appetite vanishes at the disgusting fleshy creature glaring at him.
'...' The giant's blackened veins bulge in anger as the mad tyrant stares down at the intruder in his inner sanctum.
'So um...' Luffy addresses the mountain of plague and flesh. 'It's... nice to meet you, Whap Hill. My name's Luffy, future king of the pirates, and I'm your royal taste tester for today.'
The blighted being tenses.
'Yep!' Luffy stands up, cleaning the scraps of food off his outfit. 'I can safely say all this food is one hundred percent plague-free! No tumors or strange fluids anywhere!'
The thing shakes in rage.
'And you can trust me on that!' Luffy takes a step back, still smiling. 'After Whiskey Peak, Sanji taught me to taste for bad meat! And I can safely say all of it is safe to eat! It's really delicious too!'
The thing tries to clench its jaw only for the boils to keep it from fully shutting.
'Anyhow!' Luffy steps slowly away, gesturing to the door with his thumb. 'I really need to get going. So you enjoy your meal! I really recommend the suckling pig...'
Luffy looks at the nearly empty table. 'Um... I would have recommended it. But hey! Plenty of salad left over!'
The thing cracks the masonry with his weight; his aura of malice is palpable.
'Anyhow! Four and a half stars! Would definitely eat here again!' Luffy turns and bolts down the hall. 'Thsnkyoufortgefoodgoodbyeeeee!'
Swords, halberds and sharp glass erupt from the thing's body, turning itself into a walking sea urchin.
'OUU OOOK AHI OOOD OOW ERE ANN EEE HIA OOD WWWEEEWWWEEWWE!'
The king of drum barrels through the wall, shattering the wood and stone to splinters and dust. The scraps of food are forgotten. His only thought is murder. Murder for the wretch that dared touch what was rightfully his.
...
A creaky wooden door slides open.
'Here we are.' Chopper walks through, taking in the sight of ravenous creatures munching on the bars. 'Prison Wing D.'
Nami looks around with trepidation at the caged creatures. 'And you're sure she's here? I have to say not thrilled walking past these things.'
'I'm seventy-nine percent sure.' Chopper walks past the metal and flesh-covered creatures. 'Come on, let's not waste time.'
'Don't worry about these creatures, I'll protect you, Nami-swan!' Sanji gushes. 'Just focus on finding Miss Kureha! She's our damsel in distress!'
'Sanji.' Nami sighs in exasperation. 'Please could you dial back on the perverseness. 'Please?'
'...okay Nami swan.'
'Monsters... they angry and sad and hurt. Monsters everywhere.' Nojiko, squeamish at the sight of the caged creatures, scoots as far away from the bars as she can. The sound of the door shutting behind her causes her to jump into the air.
'Nojiko.' The girl jumps in the air at the sound of her sister's voice. Nami holds up her hand. 'Here. Take my hand.'
Nojiko nods and grips her sister's hand as they walk through the occupied prison. The beasts claw at the bars as they walk past, but other than a few talons that make it out (which Sanji shattered), they make it through unmolested.
'And here we are.' Chopper brings them to a stop in front of a large metal-barred door. 'This is the only wing big enough for complex machinery. So odds are she's here.' He turns to the group behind him with a serious expression. 'Prepare for hostilities once we enter.'
Sanji clicks his boots together.
Nami grabs her rifle, spinning the crank to start the initial charge.
Nojiko gulps, gripping her glaive tightly.
'All right then.' He grips the door bar, preparing to throw it up. His muscles tense in anticipation. 'One...'
'TWO.'
'THREE!'
The rotted wooden door opens outwards with massive force, sending Chopper and half the group sliding backwards.
What enters the hallway is another monster, this one far different from the others they have faced until now.
Its body is massive, scraping the top of the ceiling with its shoulders. It lacks a head entirely, instead possessing two twisted humanoid faces on its chest and belly. The first one on its chest is an upside-down mess of black puffy hair and an afro. The second on its belly is a lopsided monster clown with green and white face-paint. It possesses four double-jointed arms, with two having serrated axes fused to them. Its legs are disjointed and thick. Worse, though, is its outfit, which is a garish eyesore consisting of yellows, lime greens, and oranges which are nearly as ugly and tainted as it is.
'Welcome guests...'
'To the Drum prisons! We hope...'
'You enjoy your stay! Because you're...'
'Never leaving!'
'Ge ha ha ha ha ha!'
'Ge ha ha ha ha ha!'
The conjoined creatures speak in tandem, finishing each other's sentences, with annoying ease.
Sanji takes a fighting stance. 'Friends of yours, Chopper?'
'He's our King's...'
'Grand prize! Once we...'
'Deliver him to our...'
'Buyer, Wapol will have all the food...'
'That he can eat!'
Chopper joins the chef in facing down the conjoined monsters. 'They're Chess and Kuromarimo. Wapol's right-hand men. Though they weren't this freakish the last time I saw them.'
The thing fleshes its freakish mutated body, showing off its exposed tendons and bulging flesh.
'How rude, Chopper! Our king...'
'Improved us! Made us...'
'Stronger! Now we can...'
'Defeat anyone!'
'At the cost of a more expensive wardrobe.' Nami levels her gun. 'Goodbye!'
The navigator pulls the trigger of her electric rifle, releasing a shredding bolt of energy. A bolt the nimble body of the royal guard bends around like a master contortionist.
'How rude! Here we...'
'Just wanted to show you...'
'To your accommodations...'
'You ingrates!'
With its one good arm, it reaches into a lint-filled pocket and pulls out a black box with a button.
Chopper's eyes widen. 'No!' He leaps towards the pair.
'Now our king's soldiers...'
'Will show you the door!'
ChessMarimo presses the button just as Chopper smashes the device to pieces.
Weeeeer Weeeer Weer Weeeeer
Hidden alarms on the wall blare and the rusty gates swing open behind them.
Creatures too horrible for words spill out, their twisted forms highlighted by the flashing red lights. The wrongness in the way they move makes it apparent their goals are nowhere near friendly.
'Fellow soldiers! Kill...'
'The intruders...'
'PAINFULLY!'
'PAINFULLY!'
AGTARfhdaAdrDfFbSr!
The insane, bubbling messes of tentacles and madness roar as one, charging at their soon-to-be meals. Only to be stopped by a volley of kicks.
'Kick Course!' Sanji lashes out at the shambling monsters. Legs are snapped, arms twisted, and heads smashed in by his iron-hard legs.
But the creatures keep shambling forward. Moaning and screaming they feel their plagued flesh re-knit itself around their bodies as they march forward.
'Nojiko! Nami! Find Kureha and get out of here!' Sanji trips a large bear-thing, causing it to block off half the hallway in front of them. The forty maddened berserkers behind it tear through their ally to get to their prey.
Nami fries the things crawling over it with her electric weapon. 'No way! We stand a better chance fighting...'
SCReeeee!
A bat with two human heads fused to it falls from above, its fanged maw threatening to open the Navigator's throat. Warned by the loud cry, Nami swings the but of her gun into its belly and smashes the thing against the wall.
'See! I can handle-'
RoARRER!
A fanged wolf with spines popping out of its head leaps up, mouth open. Nami shoves the barrel into its throat just as it bites down.
BZhZaTh!
The gun and the creature's head explode, scattering the beast's flesh over Nami's body and sending her into a wall.
'Nami Swan!'
'Nami!' Chopper turns away from ChessMarimo, first aid bag in hand. 'I'm...'
'Going...'
'Nowhere!'
'Double...'
'Axes!'
Chopper rolls and ducks as the two axes shatter the stone between him and his patient. Leaping to his feet, the doctor curses. 'Damn. And just when my rumble balls are on cooldown.' He glances at his gauntlet. The glowing numbers counting down indicate he has nearly seven minutes left.
'Infected...'
'Hairballs!'
The fuzzy-haired face of Marimo opens its mouth, spewing out a wave of pus-drenched balls of hair.
The doctor raises his gauntlet and, with the press of a switch, unleashes a wave of fiery heat to incinerate the projectiles of filth.
Nami groans on the ground, a cut on her forehead bleeding onto the infected gore spattered across the ground.
Rrrreeeeeerreer!
A wolf with tentacles for limbs staggers towards the dazed party member. Its blind eyes navigate towards warm meat from sensing her body heat.
RERERERERE!
'Bison Stomp!' Two front hooves fall on top of the thing, mulching it in an instant.
Nojiko in pure bison form trots up to her sister. 'Nami! Wake! Danger!' She licks her face, getting a response.
'Uuuhhh... No...jiko?'
'Ahuh!' Biting down on Nami's suit, she flips her onto her back. 'Nojiko got Nami!'
TRAChtrachrachTrAch!
A clicking possum the size of a horse, human arms sticking out of its exposed brains, crawls towards her.
'Bison Kick!' Bucking backwards, she smashes the thing into paste. 'Nojiko, leave now to find Doctor lady! Not cause scared of scary monsters!'
'Double...'
'Chop!'
Chopper grips the forearms of the conjoined soldier, stopping the infected monster from cleaving into his head with its corrupted axe. 'Ugh! Just go already!' He squeezes, releasing a powerful electrical shock into ChesMarimo's body.
'Côtelette!' Sanji drives his full leg into the belly of a beast before flipping his leg out of its black guts with a spin. 'And Selle! Just keep Nami safe, Nojiko! Don't worry about us!'
'Bye Chop-Chop! Bye, pervy Chef!' Nojiko shouts as she gallops past Chopper and the wildly swinging ChessMarimo.
'Hey! Don't go...'
'That way!'
'Bison Headbutt!' Nojiko bashes open the door behind the soldier. Only to find a room filled to the brim with flesh-coated suits of metal armor shambling towards them.
'That's where...'
'We keep the failures!'
'Ge ha ha ha haha!'
'Ge ha ha ha haha!'
The nearest suit of armor converging towards them swings a filthy black fluid-covered broadsword at the intruder's head.
Nojiko backs through the door, the sheer number of silent killing machines more intimidating than the hundreds of monsters behind them. 'Trapped! We trap!'
'Ge he he! Do you...'
'Get it now!?'
ChessMarimo gloats, licking the axe blades and coating them with his infected saliva.
'There is...'
'No escape! You were...'
'Doomed the moment...'
'You arrived!'
The twisted soldier gestures around him. It gleefully savors the looks of fear and the helplessness of the intruders around him.
'To your right, a horde of our loyal soldiers...'
'To your left a horde of living failures who make up for in numbers...'
'What they lack in strength!'
'And we're in the center ready to kill you!'
'And we're in the center ready to kill you!'
The two conjoined monsters loom over their foes. Their bulk covers the flickering torchlight and furnace-red alarm lights, shrouding the crew in shadows.
'Whichever way you choose...'
'You're going to die here!'
'Ge ha ha ha!'
'Ge ha ha ha!'
Chopper frantically looks around for a way out, for any passages away from the hordes converging around them. He finds none.
Nojiko, terrified, looks around at the hordes of mutated animals converging on their group.
Nami, half unconscious, can only cling to her sister for dear life.
And Sanji... is lighting a cigarette.
'...I see.' He takes a deep breath in of his vice of choice. 'That's very helpful, you shitty hosts.' He breathes out a cloud of smoke. 'We can't go left, right, or even stay where we are. Good to know!'
'Ge ha ha ha!'
'Ge ha ha ha!'
'That's right! All...'
'Of you are trapped!'
ChessMarimo gestures around them as the horde surrounds the group of four.
'There's nowhere...'
'You can run!'
'No.' Sanji coolly flicks his smoke in ChessMarimo's upper face. The but of his cigarette smolders in the thing's bushy hair. 'If we can't go left or right, there's one more direction we can go to escape you.'
'L-Liar! Our trap...'
'Is foolproof!'
ChessMarimo angrily pounds the smoking mess of hair in his chest, putting out the fire.
'You're...'
'Bluffing!'
The chef points his leg straight up. 'One problem with trying to ambush someone in a cavern.' He smirks arrogantly. 'There's always a risk of cave-ins!'
Chopper looks upwards where Sanji's leg is pointing. Against the blaring red sirens, he can see the cracks in the foundations of the castle. The ceiling above them is a mess of patches and supporting beams.
'Enjoy being buried alive!' Sanji shouts, spinning his body like a corkscrew. 'Love powered...'
ChessMarimo's four eyes follow Sanji's intended direction of attack.
'The ceiling?'
'No, we have to stop him!'
'He can't! He'll kill us all!'
'King Wapol!'
'BROCHETTE!'
Sanji's leg skewers the stone masonry above them, punching through it like a hot knife through butter. The roof above them, unused to such a ferocious impact, collapses like a house of cards. Stone shatters and cracks into loose rock, raining down around them.
Chopper grabs Nojiko's arm. 'Human form Nojiko!'
Nojiko obeys and transforms into her smaller human form.
With a grunt, the doctor grabs the two ladies in his arms. 'Heavy pitch!' Throwing the light women through the hole behind the chef, Chopper changes form. His thick body becomes slender, his arms and legs are replaced by hooves, a long snout forms from his face, and a pair of mighty antlers forms from under his hat.
'Damn! I hate using this form...' With dexterous jumps, leaping onto the falling rubble towards the hole.
'No! We...'
'Have to sto-'
A boulder pummels ChessMarimo to the ground, followed by another and another. The monsters around him can barely register what is happening as hundreds of tons of fortress-grade stone flatten them. They howl, moan, and scream as they are buried alive under hundreds of tons of rock.
With one last push, Chopper avoids the same fate, leaping out through the hole and landing on the other side. He breathes in relief. Then the rest of the floor begins to slip.
'Cluck.' The doctor looks for a way out.
'Chopper! Is that you!?' The doctor glances to see Sanji carrying the two ladies. 'Hurry up! This way!'
The doctor doesn't bother transforming back to his humanoid shape. He bolts down the hall after the humans, running for his life as the castle breaks down behind him. He can feel its foundations crack as he sprints as fast as his legs carry him. They run until finally the sounds of collapse and ruin die down behind them.
Turning around, Chopper finds a gaping pit of rubble where ChessMarimo and the ambushing monsters were. He feels a wave of relief. Followed by panic as he remembers why he braved this nightmare palace in the first place.
'Kureha!' Chopper shouts, turning to Sanji with a face of rage. 'You Idiot! Kureha might be down there! You buried her alive, you...you...'
'You're welcome...' Sanji pants. 'For saving your life but hole doctor.'
'Nojiko fine Pervy-Chef.' Nojiko says from Sanji's shoulder. 'Put down, please.'
The chef puts her down. 'Sorry, Nojiko. And as for your mom...' Sanji turns back to the ungrateful doctor. 'No way she was down there. If she was, that two-headed freak would have used her against us by taking her hostage or something.'
Chopper opens his mouth to protest only to be stumped by Sanji's logic. '...shut up.'
'Speaking of freaks...' the chef grins. 'So that's what your beast form looks like.'
Nojiko smiles. 'Is cute! Nojiko like!'
Chopper looks down at his body before quickly transforming back to his humanoid shape. 'Yes, well...' He rubs his blue nose in a sensitive manner. 'Don't get used to it. I hate looking like that wild animal. I have a poor opinion of… reindeer.'
'Why? You have something against turning into a deer or something?'
Chopper glares at him. Memories of his childhood flash through his eyes. '...no.'
'But is cute!' Nojiko tilts her head. 'Why no like?'
The doctor sighs. 'Because that's my birth form.' He makes sure his metal gauntlets fit his hands. 'I'm a deer that ate the Human fruit, gaining peak human intelligence and strength. Now drop it.'
'Oh... my bad.' Sanji adjusts Nami on his other shoulder. 'Um, could you...'
'Of course. Lay her down here.' Sanji gently lays down the groaning woman. In under thirty seconds, her head is sewn up, bandaged, and ice-packed. He then takes her pulse, checks pupil dilation, and breathes. 'She is fine, just knocked out by a burst of electricity.' He points to a series of burns on her wrists. 'Doubtless from where the gun blew up on her. The cut on the head is superficial and lacks major bruising. I'll have to check to see if there is any lasting nerve damage.'
Sanji sighs in relief. 'Thank goodness.'
Nojiko pats the doctor on the back. 'Good job, Chop-Chop!'
'That's not...forget it.' He looks around at the fleshy tunnels and corridors around them. 'Well, since the captain of the guard is gone, we should find Wapol and see if we can't get answers before...'
'...aaaaaaAAAAAAAGH!'
'EEET EN AHI ELLY!'
The group looks up just in time to see Luffy dash down the adjacent hallway, followed by what looks to be a titanic-sized pincushion. The crew just stares at the empty hallway for a moment, hardly believing their own eyes.
'...before Luffy does something stupid?' Sanji finishes Chopper's sentence.
'...yes. Nojiko.' Chopper stands up and addresses one of his greatest creations. 'Can you watch Nami while Sanji and I defeat Wapol?'
Nojiko salutes. 'You count on Nojiko! Nojiko can keep sis safe!'
'NOT!'
'NOT!'
The ground under Nami explodes as she is gripped in a monstrously twisted hand.
'Nami swan!' Sanji shouts, enraged.
'ChessMarimo!' Chopper shouts, enraged.
'Sister!' Nojiko shouts, enraged.
'Ge ha ha ha ha ha!'
'Ge ha ha ha ha ha!'
The twin-faced psychopathic soldier pulls itself from the ground underneath it. Brandishing the woman in its spare right hand like a prized trophy, it snears at the group.
'Worthless...'
'Idiots! You thought a few...'
'Meesly rocks could defeat...'
'Wapol's chosen champion!?'
Sanji prepares to leap up and clobber the freak, his feet fueled by righteous anger.
'Ah ah ah!'
'Ah ah ah!'
ChessMarimo moves Nami's unconscious body in the trajectory of the chef's attack.
'Not another step...'
'Unless you want the little girl's...'
'Guts to paint the floors!'
'Guts to paint the floors!'
Sanji glares at the honor less cur. 'Chopper... go ahead and help Luffy.'
Nojiko draws her glaive and transforms into her hybrid form. 'Yeah. Coward going to die.'
Chopper looks ready to object, only to see the fiery look in their eyes. He looks at his gauntlet. 3:23. 3:22. Around three minutes before he is able to use his trump card. Time enough.
'I'll be back once Wapol is taken care of.' Transforming into a deer, he bolts off in pursuit of the king and his jester.
'Don't wait up.' Sanji scuffs his boots. 'By the time you get back, all that'll be left will be mincemeat.'
'You think you can...'
'Turn me into...'
'Mincemeat!?'
'Mincemeat!?'
The mutant brandishes his twin axes, keeping Nami's body close to his vital chest.
'No, not meat.' Nojiko growls, brandishing her own weapon. 'Table scraps!'
'Oh ho ho!'
'Oh ho ho!'
'Then let's...'
'See you try!'
The four clash in a burst of sudden force.
Leg meets flesh.
Glaive meets axe.
The torn tapestries flutter from the force of the titanic impact.