Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'm Not Sure If This Matters

Chapter 18- Second Closest Thing to Perfect

by moocow 13 reviews

Dedicated to SZSmith, because she sends the msot wonderful e-mails.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Warnings: [!!] [?] - Published: 2006-10-02 - Updated: 2006-10-03 - 1861 words

It was childish how I acted the next few weeks. I ignored phone calls, dismissed the door bell and little pebbles tapping at my window. I quit my job at the coffee shop and ate very little. I felt like complete crap. Thing is, it just seemed like nothing was changing. After the first week, the phone calls ceased and I never got those late night door knocks.

It had truly all gone to hell.


Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

My hand switched off the radio before residing to the steering wheel again. I breathed out as my vision watched the snowflakes fall onto the hood of my car, out side looking even more dangerous as Christmas drew nearer. I sighed and finally opened the door, tightening my jacket around me as I closed and locked it.

My feet squished the snow beneath my feet and I didn't bother to look up as I walked. It was early, too early, but I didn't care. The one hour sun shimmered in the snow, making it brighter than it should be, but beautiful. I found myself out front the coffee shop and smiled, pushing it open and listening to the jingle of the bell.

"Jenny! I thought you quit!" I smiled as one of the co-workers, ironically named Ashley came out and wiped her hands on her apron. I sighed and shook my head, sitting on one of the barstools.

"It's cold, and I want coca," I joked and she smirked.

"I'll get you one, on the house," I nodded and she disappeared again.

I kept myself busy by playing with a sugar packet before I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned and tilted my head to see Joe taking a seat next to me. He smiled, bright blue eyes twinkling and breathed out, shivering.

"I knew I'd find you here, I saw your car was gone, and...well," I laughed as he shook the snow off his jacket before hanging it on the back of the chair.

"Hi Joe," I said and Ashley came back with two cups.

"Here ya go, hey Joe," she smiled and Joe nodded as she walked away.

"What's up?" I asked and Joe shrugged, taking a sip of the warm liquid.

"Not much...I mean, within the last month we've managed to scare Anna off, piss Patrick off and break Pete's heart. Adi's confused, Andy's irritated and I don't give a damn anymore," I swallowed nervously and looked away.

"It's mostly my fault," I whispered and Joe shook his head.

"See, that's the thing, it's not. It's Anna's, and yet nobody as in Patrick cares," I closed my eyes as I took another sip and nodded, turning to face him.

"Then how come I haven't heard anything?" I whispered and Joe rolled his eyes.

"You've been ignoring us...but only Andy and I, Pete only came over to your house once, I'm afraid," I shook my head, disappointed.

"Well, has there been any good news?" I asked and Joe shrugged before he smiled wide.

"We got sighed to Island and once we hoax Patrick into can start working on album number 2," I smiled and nodded.

"That sounds nice," I mumbled and Joe smirked, smacking me playfully on the arm.

"Is that all you have to say?" he joked and I threw my arms around him, bringing him into a sloppy hug.

"Congratulations, Jew boy!"

"Watch it, Jenny,"


I guess it was my fault for leaving my phone on the bookshelf above my bed. It had started to vibrate, waking me from sleep about a missed call. After it stopped I smiled and snuggled back into the pillow. When it vibrated once more, I looked up in time for it to smack me right in the head.

"Owww," I muttered and flipped it open to see a text.

Unless you're still ignoring the guys, meet me on my roof? It's the only place I could think of- Patty Cakes (God I hate that nickname)

I smiled and pushed back the blankets.

I had a hat clad boy to talk to.


My breath hung in the air as I walked the distance to Patrick's house. I was so glad that it wasn't snowing, but it was still damn cold. I tilted my head up to see the flat part of the roof free of snow. I walked around to the side and called up, slightly shivering.

"Patrick! You up there?" I yelled and about a moment later a familiar head peered over the side, a bright smile illuminating in the night.

"Hey," he breathed and slid the ladder over the ledge. I gripped the cold metal and bit my lip as I made my way up, Patrick gripping my free hand to hoist me over the edge.

"So...what did you wake me up for?" I asked and Patrick gulped before leading me over to a space where a large quilt was.

"Just to talk, I can't sleep, so...I thought maybe now would be a good time for that," I smiled and nodded once before lifting up the blanket around my shoulders and sitting down.

Patrick copied and awkwardly sat Indian style next to me. For a while I just stared at him out of the corner of my eye, catching each time he breathed out frost, and the minute he shivered, I opened the blanket for him to scoot in. A warm smile appeared on his lips and his arm sneaked around my back to bring me closer.

"What's on your mind, Patrick?" I whispered and he took a deep breath.

"The new record...I'm so scared...just things have been rough and I don't know what's going to happen if none of this past month is left un resolved," I nodded and glanced up at the sky.

"Well, Pete hasn't really said much..." Patrick cut me off.

"It's not all Pete either, I mean...I over-reacted...Jenny, that's not cool of me," I nodded and stayed silent for a while.

"Patrick, I never really thought Anna was for you," I whispered and he hummed.

"It's a little late for that, but she's gone, and that's all there is to it," he spoke and I nodded again.

"What am I going to do with Pete?" I asked and Patrick sighed, bringing me closer as I shivered, the blankets shifting as he tightened them around us.

"Listen to his explanation, but..." I tilted my head up to look at Patrick's expression.

"What?" I asked and he closed his eyes briefly.

"Maybe it's best if you guys didn't /date/, I mean, it's weird, seeing a split image of Ashley in that kind of just seems so," I cut him off at that point.

"Fake? Stupid? Selfish? I know," I whispered and Patrick lightly smiled.

"Pete can handle it, I mean...he handled Ashley's death, he can handle her twin breaking up with him," I wrapped my arms around Patrick's torso and rested my head against his arm before breathing out and closing my eyes.

"I'll do it gently," I whispered and Patrick hummed again.

"Just like things were made to be," We stayed silent for the next few moments and I had managed to open my eyes to look up at the sky, the stars twinkling as the night grew on, the pitch black almost over-powering the already dim street lights.

"Patrick?" I called out and Patrick hummed a yes. "Are you guys going to do it?" I asked and Patrick nodded, sighing.

"It's something to take our minds off things, and even express it all," I smiled to myself and looked up at Patrick who was staring off. He soon noticed me staring and arched an eyebrow slightly. "What?" he asked and I laughed a little.

"Your amazing, Patrick," I smiled a toothy grin and watched as the light red and pink rose to his neck and cheeks. But it wasn't long until his hand found my neck and tickled the flesh there making me squirm.

"Your amazinger and always will be," he whispered and smiled. It was the perfect moment for something to happen, but I knew better and leaned back down, wrapping my arms around him again, his voice soon singing me to a light sleep.

And maybe he won't find out what I know, you were the last good thing about this part of town...


I sighed as my gloves ran over the snow that covered the black granite, it melting at the touch, wetting the cloth and nearly freezing my fingers. I swallowed a large lump in my throat and sighed. The gold engraving shimmered in the sunlight, the snow highlighting the brightness of the grave marker.

"They say silence is deadly," My head whipped around to see Pete trudging up the slight hill, his feet stopping near my couched body.

"They also say that love is deadlier," I whispered. He crouched down next to me and dusted the snow off his gloved hands.

"What are you doing here, Jenny, it's freezing," I sighed and shrugged.

"I wanted to see if I could connect with Ashley and see what she went through," Pete gulped and sighed.

"I don't know if I've told you, but I'm sorry about all of this," I smiled to myself and turned my head towards his distant eyes.

"No, no you didn't," I muttered but then flashed a smile. "But thank you," I whispered and my hand sneaked to his own, nodding.

"Jenny, I really miss her, but that was completely selfish of me," I smacked him on the arm.

"Shut up and stop apologizing, Jesus," Pete laughed nervously and I shook my head. "Pete, you're's all about learning from mistakes," Pete's expression became solemn and he shook his head as his hand left mine and went to hold my cheek.

"But your not a mistake," he whispered and I blushed lightly before nodding.

"I know, I'm just saying," Pete shook his head and leaned over, kissing my forehead before pressing a light kiss to my lips.

"You are Jennifer Marie 'Chaotic' Daniela," he whispered and lightly kissed me again. "And nobody can take that away from you," I smirked as his eyes danced.

"Unless I get married," I muttered and Pete narrowed his eyes, slightly annoyed with my smartass-ness.

"Well, maybe in a little while you'll become Jennifer Marie 'Chaotic' Stump," I smacked his arm but then blushed.

"Shut up, Pete," Pete smirked and helped me stand.

"Early January we are heading out to LA to record and all that," I smiled.

"Jazz," I added and Pete rolled his eyes.

"You have to come out and visit," I nodded and he gulped.

"Pete," I called and he looked up.

"What?" he asked and I shook my head giving him one last kiss.

"Take care of yourself, ok?" Pete nodded and I smiled, teeth showing.

"Then you have to make me a promise," Pete commented. I raised an eyebrow.

"Like what?" I asked and Pete started to back away, raising his hands up to his pockets.

"Promise me you'll end up with Patrick,"
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