Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Mixed Tape

Second Star to the Left, Go Until Dawn

by howshesews 0 reviews

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Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Romance - Published: 2006-10-04 - Updated: 2006-10-05 - 2986 words

0Unrated
Cassandra woke up at around 2 the next morning. Perfect. She couldn't have been more unwilling to face the day. Well, night, but she knew that she wasn't going back to sleep. She'd been sleeping since about 6 in the evening prior, so sleep wasn't much of an option. What was an option, though, was the task of choosing songs for Peter. Her tired body made it's way over to her laptop. After unplugging it, moving it over to her bed, and plugging it back in, she got started.


The list of songs seemed significantly longer this time. Great.

That's when she found it. Wow. She only had to scroll until 'c' tonight.

2. Second Star to the Left, Go Until Dawn-Copeland


She pulled out a pen and paper and began writing.

Peter-

This title is Peter Pan inspired, which isn't why I picked it, but a nice bonus, wouldn't you say? I would. Today, well, yesterday, we ate breakfast together. Then you made me visit my mom. You're so much stronger than me, Peter. I really hope that someday you'll recognize all of the strength that you have. Maybe that day, you might even decide to bottle it and sell it. Because I truly need to be stronger. You take criticism from every direction, yet you still wake up in the morning. You've been burned by love, in every meaning of the word, so many times, yet you still love whole-heartedly, unabashedly. I don't get it. I want to know that strength. I want to possess that strength. Like you've possessed me. I know you don't really realize how you've got me, but you do Peter Wentz. I promise.


-Cass

P.S.
Cross out all of the 'she's' in this song, and replace them with "he's". It will make more sense. Because you're not a girl. I am.


All this time away from you
with you would be better
All those days of summer fun
I missed you more than ever
Absence makes the heart grow withered, but fonder still
You know I never will stay silent

It was a big mistake to let me have my way in the first place
it was a big mistake to let me memorize your face

I'm jealous of you, moon
tonight you'll get to see her
alone beneath the stars
and everything I fear
All my strength was tranquilized
and everyday I get weaker
but stronger when I think of how we never sat silent

It was a big mistake to let me have my way in the first place
it was a big mistake to let me memorize your face



She folded up the piece of paper she had ripped out of her journal, and placed it in the paper sleeve with the disc. She decided it would be smarter to deliver this one now, because his sleep was heavier at this time of night, if, at this point, he had even tried sleeping. He was sort of nocturnal sometimes, though, so there was no telling. Oh, well. She decided to take her chances.



Cassandra quietly opened her bedroom door, and immediately heard talking. What was he doing still awake? She slowly tiptoed towards his door and placed her ear against it.

"Patrick, I'm trying. It seems like I'm getting closer, but then she does things that make me think I'm really not."

Pause.

"No. She's not just buying it. She's smarter than that. I knew she would be. Dude, I didn't think this was going to be easy. I probably wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't a worthy fight."

Another Pause, then laughter.

"Fuck you. I can take care of her heart better than any guy ever, basically. I know in the past I haven't really demonstrated this ability, but I also was a fucktard, and I plan on....not being one anymore." Cassandra smiled.

Peter, once again, paused.

"No, dude. She's awake. I always know when she awake." How did he always know when she was awake.

"In fact..." He paused, and Cassandra heard footsteps, and before she could register what was happening, the door opened, and Cassandra nearly fell in. She quickly stood up, and tucked her hair behind her ear. He was smiling, holding the phone to his ear.

"How well do I know you? Really." Cassandra just crossed her arms and shook her head.

"I was just bringing you this." She said, holding out the CD to him. He took it, and looked at her.

"Why aren't you sleeping, Cass?" She laughed.

"Me? Why aren't you sleeping, Peter? I've already had about 8 hours of sleep. You've had zero. Go to bed." She smiled, and began to walk away. He grabbed her sleeve.

"I'll call you back, Patrick. Actually, no I won't. I'll see you at lunch tomorrow..."

Pause.

"Yes, she'll be there. Night, dude." He hung up the phone and let go of her sleeve.

"What?" She asked after he stared at her for a few seconds.

"I just want to know you're okay. I mean, after today and everything. I didn't mean to force you into something painful, but I'm your best friend, and I would like to see you heal. Are you mad?" Cassandra shook her head, and walked down the hall. He followed.

"Cass, tell me what's going on. You're being weird." She turned to face him.

"How would you know what "weird" for me is? Maybe this is normal now. Maybe the happy me who never worries about anything except how much I love you is the old me. Maybe that girl doesn't even exist anymore. I'm not mad, Peter, but I am frustrated."

"Cass, you were fine just a sec-" She put her hand over his mouth.

"Just listen to your CD, and get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning. Or, afternoon, since it's nearly 3 and you're not asleep yet. Goodnight." She stood there, facing him, and he kissed her forehead, before walking away.

What the hell really went on in her head? He was doing the best he could. He really was, and it seemed like his best wasn't enough. But what actually was considered enough after what he did? He wasn't sure, but he was sure that just because she wasn't immediately being clear about her decision, didn't mean that he was going to quit.

She was his bad habit. His drug; his demon. He needed her, and being in her house, though not enough, would have to do. He was going to win, but so was she. There wouldn't be losers this time around.

Obviously last time's loser was himself.



He went back into his room, and shut the door. After sliding the disc out of it's sleeve and placing it in his stereo, he laid down on his bed. The song drilled at his ears and pounded on his heart until all he wanted to do, was slepp. He read the letter, and even though he knew she was right, he also knew that just because she didn't see her strengths that were so obvious to him, didn't mean they weren't there.

Peter realized then, that maybe his goal wasn't to win her. Maybe it was to make her strong. Or, since he already agreed that she was the strongest person he knew, maybe his goal was to practice her strength, our strengthen her trust.

Then again, maybe his goal was to just make her fall in love with him like she once was. Maybe it was really that simple.

But was it really that simple, even if that's all it was?






Cassandra heard the song she had picked for Peter pounding through the walls as it left the speakers of his stereo. Maybe he would come in tonight. She was tired, but never to tired to be with Peter. Not with him, per se. Just with him. She couldn't sleep. Her head was scrambling, due to desperately wanting to know what was happening in Peter's. She trudged over to the computer, where she'd already spent plenty of time that evening, and being looking for song number 3.


Thirty minutes later, after listening to song after song, she found the perfect one. Well, almost perfect, but for now, it was all she could find that came close to even kind of explaining what was happening in her mind; her heart. She pulled out a blank CD, made the playlist, consisting of one song, and clicked burn.

3. Night After Night

Peter-

Peter, this is a little you, and a little me...but mostly you. Maybe mostly me. Maybe equally both of us. I'm obviously not sure. The only thing I'm sure of, is how unsure my whole entire world has become. I want to be able to tell you it's not your fault, but I can't. You're the fucking liar. It is your fault, but I'm not so sure it's a bad thing. In fact, I'm pretty positive it's a good thing. You've taken me away from the cookie-cutter, heartbroken life I've been leading for the past 6 months, ad made me feel....real again. All of a sudden I'm yelling at people, or being angry, or laughing. All of these emotions that had, essentially, shut down after...it, have started doing their job again. Thank you for that. I'm starting to understand love.

-Cass

It all seemed perfect
But there are moments when I feel nothing at all
Same as always
Now it's repeating itself all over again

Night after night you say you move on
tomorrow, tomorrow
Now, what's holding you back?
I don't know, I don't know
Night after night you say you move on
tomorrow, tomorrow
Now, what's holding you back?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know

Don't feel sorry
'Cause there's no reason for us to fight any more
Tears are coming, and years are going
I hope we'll learn something

Night after night you say you move on
tomorrow, tomorrow
Now, what's holding you back?
I don't know, I don't know
Night after night you say you move on
tomorrow, tomorrow
Now, what's holding you back?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know

Night after night you say you move on
tomorrow, tomorrow
Now, what's holding you back?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
Night after night you say you move on
tomorrow, tomorrow
Now, what's holding you back?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know



It was nearing 6, and Cassi decided to shower, and get dressed.

She took a slow, warm shower, to clean some of the stress off of her skin, and when she got out, she noticed some writing on the mirror. How cute...?


"I'm cooking breakfast. Learn how to be quiet when you shower so I don't wake up in the morning and destroy your kitchen. As you probably already know, that's what I'm about to do."

She rubbed at the substance he had used to write it in. After removing her finger from the unidentified black goop, she looked at her hand. Ah-hah! Eyeliner. Hers. He would be buying her some later.

She knew that Peter wasn't at all making breakfast, but out getting someone to make it for him so he could say he had worked so hard, like he had done so many times before. Knowing this, she knew she had time to get ready. She brushed her long hair, and went into her closet. After finding her Hamburger shirt, and a green hooded overshirt to cover it, and a pair of jeans and flats, she went in to blowdry. She finished the tedious task of drying her think hair, and applied make-up, then straightened the hair previously mentioned. Forty-five minutes later, she was ready to go. Well, not go, but, you know, go.

As she stepped into the living room, so did he, carrying two brown paper bags.

"I knew you wouldn't cook." He raised an eyebrow. Well, not really, because he didn't know how, but he tried to raise an eyebrow.

Pete walked over to the counter and began emptying the bags, which were not full of pre-prepared food at all, but raw ingredients. What the hell was he planning on doing.

"I knew you knew I wouldn't cook, so I forced myself to go to the store and buy stuff so I could at least try and prove you wrong. But, we all know well I handle the kitchen, so don't hold your breath." She laughed, and then she did. Hold her breath, of course.

He threw a lettuce head at her, and she caught it, examining it.

"Why do we need lettuce?" He smiled. "That's not for breakfast. That's for...something else." He smiled and put his head to the side, sort of mechanically, and then went back to the hilarious task of attempting to cook.

"Pete, what the hell are you even making?" He laughed.

"Some sort of hash brown thing. I found the recipe in one of your drawers, and it looked like something you'd like, so I'm going to try and at least create something similar to the picture on the card." Cassandra smiled. Her mother's favorite thing to make in the morning on any holiday was that casserole. It made her smile even wider, and to take it a step further, it made her kiss him. He took his hands away from scrambling eggs long enough to bring them to her face. Slowly, his hands made their way down to Cassandra's waist. Then, both of their senses kicked in.

Backing away simultaneously, they both went back to what they were doing, after staring at the floor awkwardly for a few seconds, of course. Why did she do that? Why did he do the most endearing things sometimes? Why couldn't he piss her off? Wait. He did. That's what made him so...attractive.

Not only physically. But emotionally. She wanted him back in her life. Immediately, and she knew it, but something inside her made the task of dragging it out seem...kind of entertaining. She laughed out loud. She was going to mold herself into the world's greatest tease. But not towards every guy. Just Peter.

"What are you laughing at?" Peter asked, pouring the freshly scrambled eggs into a casserole pan, spilling 25 percent of them.

"Us. We're ridiculous." He put the pan down as Cassandra continued to laugh. He walked towards her, and stared. His hands were curled up into a fist, and his eyes were smiling, but other than that, he conveyed no emotion. Then, suddenly, he picked her up, and cradled her, throwing her on the couch.

"Cassandra Grace. I want to know your plans."

"Peter Lewis. No. You can't. They're mine. None for you." He cocked his head to one side, much like a dog would do had you said something to it other than it's name, or "treat".

"Fine. No breakfast." She laughed even harder.

"Fine. You didn't know what you were doing anyway." He flipped her off and sat down on the loveseat across from her. She got up just as he sat down, and went into the kitchen to finish making the food he ended up not making at all.

"Peter. Fuck, you bought enough fucking food for 10 people." He smiled, and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"I know almost 10 people who would love to hear from us at almost 8." He smiled, as did she, and he started to dial.

"Peter, you almost know 4. Not ten." He shrugged, and then started laughing. Some one had answered, she guessed, and they weren't happy.

Ten minutes later, he came into the living room.

"Expect Patrick, C.J., Joe, and not Andy." Cassandra stopped stirring and looked at Pete.

"Why not Andy?" Pete turned around as he went into the living room, picking up the remote control, and plopping onto the couch.

"Because he said if I ever fucking called him at fucking 8 in the fucking morning ever a-fucking-gain, he'd kick my fucking ass, or something."

"Andy said that?" Pete nodded, not taking his eyes off of the TV.

"He's pretty hostile when you steal his sleep. And his underwear. Oh, well. I think we can expect great company anyway,"

45 minutes later, the food was finished, and the 5 of them were seated around the table, filling their plates with the casserole Cassandra had made.

"Cass, seriously. How are you this domestic? All I have to do to set a kitchen on fire is walk into it." C.J. sighed, and everyone laughed at her. She kept a straight face.

"She's not kidding." Patrick said, as Cassandra filled his cup with orange juice.

"Honestly, I'm not 'domestic' at all, but this is something I've seen my mother make a thousand times, so I guess I just knew how to do it hereditarily." They kept quiet, hoping the bringing up of Cassandra's mother wouldn't get her all mopey. She noticed the tension.

"Guy's. It's been a year. I miss her, but I can't pretend it didn't happen." They all smiled at her, especially Peter.

"You better not tell me I'm stronger than you ever again." He whispered into her ear as she passed. She mussed up his hair, and went to prepare her plate.

"Now. Here, is the egg and meat-free version of this casserole. I think I know who this is for." Cassandra brought another pan around, and C.J.'s hand reached for the sky.

"I think I do too." She said, and started scooping it onto her plate.


They managed to fill an hour's time just talking and laughing. The day had gone well, and Cassandra decided it was going too well.

All of a sudden, she got that feeling that it was going to stop; abruptly, and unpleasantly. Oh, well. No counting on a negative future. For now, she would just enjoy breakfast with her friends.
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