FicWad

The pair of strippers had been sitting in Vegeta's car for a few minutes, running over the list of what not to say. Basically, Vegeta didn't want his mother to know of his career choice of the moment, since she would in turn tell her ex-husband to spite him, leading him to disown his son. That probably wouldn't phase Vegeta, except his father had promised him the Jaguar if he didn't piss him off by his twenty-fifth birthday. So far Vegeta had done many things to do so, although he had managed to keep under the radar. Normally he wouldn't mind telling his mother about being a stripper. She could come to see a show for all he cared. But she knew something like that would probably send Vegeta Sn. to the hospital with a heart attack... Therefore sharing the news with him would be a plus for her.

"Remind me again...what do you do for a job when you aren't in school?" Piccolo asked in boredom, scratching his ear. Vegeta growled and opened the car door, getting out a moment later. Piccolo followed suit and the pair walked up the front steps to the cheery house.

"I'm a tech store manager. I've been promoted, ok, because last time I was just starting."

"Whatever you say-"

"Oh look, it's my sweet boys!" A cheery voice called out, making both men blush slightly. A young-looking woman rushed out the front door and embraced the pair in a large hug, kissing Vegeta on the cheek. "Piccolo, you've got to bend down a little, I haven't grown since you last saw me, sweetheart." Piccolo complied and bent his knees a little and allowed the woman to daintily kiss him on the cheek. "Oo, you look a little thin, Piccolo! I hope you are eating ok... Come on in, I'll fix you something to eat." Vegeta sighed, used to his mother worrying over Piccolo before himself.

"Mom, we're not five anymore..." He started, only to receive a squeal from his mother.

"I just found the most darling photos, Veggie! It's you and Piccolo when you were younger, playing on swings. It's so sweet, you have to see it. Oh, what is with me today? Come on in and get settled." The pair followed the cheery woman in, and took seats in the living room. Piccolo found it amusing that Ms. Klein (she had gone back to her maiden name) had only improved after the divorce. She was cheerier, threw more parties, and even looked younger. Piccolo kicked himself when he caught his eyes wandering to her low-cut shirt and tight caprees.

'Stop thinking about doing your friend's mom, stop thinking about doing your friend's mom, stop-'

"Piccolo?" Ms.Klein's voice broke him out of his trance, bringing him back into the real world. "You ok, sweetheart? You looked a little stressed out there."

Piccolo smiled and waved off the worry. "I'm great, Ms. Klein... Can we open a window or something? It's a little warm in here." Ms. Klein sent him a look that Piccolo couldn't quite read, but happily complied with the request.

"It's Julia." She said as an afterthought, making Piccolo blink in surprise.

"I'm sorry?"

"Ms. Klein sounds too old. Just call me Julia."

"Hey Julia, can we eat today or what?" Vegeta interrupted loudly, yawning. "You promised that you'd cook if I came to see you."

Julia smiled and pinched her son's cheek. "Of course, Veggie. Let me just check what I have. Piccolo, would you mind giving me a hand?" Piccolo thought it was odd that she asked for his help, but went anyway. As a kid he remembered always helping her bring in groceries and sometimes he even set the table. He and Vegeta had grown up practically together, switching houses constantly. Piccolo personally hated Vegeta's father, and was happy that the divorce had come through. The man was a pompous ass, and was far too over-bearing. Julia had always been so quiet and reserved, probably because she didn't want to upset her already raging tempest of a husband. But now...

"Ok, I need..." Vegeta's mother bent down to see into her food cabinet, searching for certain ingredients. Her raven hair fell over one eye as she searched for peas, and Piccolo couldn't help but think how she did NOT look like she was old enough to be a mother. He quickly did a math calculation in his head, and assumed that if she had had Vegeta when she was at least twenty, then she could be no older than forty-two. That wasn't so bad... She really didn't look over forty at all, and she didn't really act like it, either...

'Piccolo, snap OUT of it. Forty is forty.' He snapped at himself when he found his eyes glued to Julia's trunk. 'That is NOT forty!' He thought as he forced himself to take a step back and look out the window. As a kid he had always thought she was pretty, but now...she just looked radiant. Time hadn't diminished her looks in the slightest. She wore little makeup because she already had beautiful skin, and her hair looked like she had just been doing a shoot for some color treatment commercial or something. Just because she was possibly over forty didn't mean Vegeta's mother wasn't hot.

"Piccolo?" Piccolo jumped as he felt her cool hand on his arm, and shook off the tingly feeling creeping into his legs.

"Y-yes?"

Julia looked gave him the odd look from earlier before calling Vegeta in the kitchen and scribbling down a list of food items. "Honey, could you do me a favor and go to the grocery? I need a couple of things, and it'd be nice if you could run and grab them for me." Vegeta glared hatefully at the note but took it just the same.

"Fine. Which store?"

"Allie's."

Vegeta's eyes bulged at this statement. "Mother, that is on the other side of TOWN! It'll take me forever-"

"I want those ingredients from there, Vegeta. Please do it for me." Vegeta closed his mouth and walked out of the room, muttering things under his breath. Julia waited until she heard the door close until she faced Piccolo. When she did, Piccolo was shocked to see the sweet face gone, replaced by a saucy, unfamiliar look.

"Piccolo, be honest with me. Do you find me attractive?"

Piccolo's mouth opened and closed briefly before Julia walked up to him, letting her fingers trace up his arm. "It's ok, Piccolo. You don't need to answer that. You see, after the divorce... I was feeling a new freedom. I could dress like I wanted, act like I wanted...And do what-or who- EVER I wanted. Because you know what, Piccolo? I spent my early years with the biggest ass in the world, and I let myself be at his whim. I was only seventeen when I had Vegeta. Yes, I can see the wheels spinning now. That means I'm only thirty-nine. I know I'm coming on a little strong, but for once...I don't care. Don't get any notions, Piccolo. I'm not looking for a steady relationship. But I know that Vegeta Sn. would flip if he knew that you had what he didn't. Or any man under thirty, for that matter." She paused and looked Piccolo in the eye, smiling.

"Ms. Klei-er, Julia... I'm not sure if this is the best idea. I mean...you used to pick me up from soccer practice with Vegeta!" If Piccolo had anything else to say it was cut off by soft lips pressed strongly against his own. He was too surprised to do anything except let it happen. A few seconds later, when he thought they were finished, he felt the distinctive, silky texture of a foreign tongue breech his lips. He mentally shrugged to himself and kissed back, thinking how pissed Vegeta would be if he ever found out his best friend was perving on his mom. Ms. Klein began to unbutton the front of the younger man's shirt with energy, making Piccolo blink in surprise.

"You always were such a polite young man, Piccolo. Right now, though, I want you to be anything BUT polite. You understand?" With a yank she ripped off Piccolo's shirt and tossed it over her shoulder, rubbing Piccolo's bare chest afterwards.

Piccolo grinned and let his own hands wander down the woman, mind cleared of all coherent thoughts. "I think I can manage a little rudeness." Julia shivered as Piccolo's large hands went up the back of her shirt.

"You're cold!" She moaned softly, shivering even harder as Piccolo snapped her bra strap. Her breath hissed out as his icy fingers gently massaged her hard nipples.

The green man grinned and said huskily, "Make me warm."

-

Vegeta growled as he struggled to carry in several grocery bags at the same time. "I got those damn ingredients, mother. You won't take long now, will you? I'm hungry as hell." Vegeta listened briefly before hearing voices in the kitchen. He made his cumbersome trip there, trying not to spill various food items everywhere he went. He got a better handle on the bags and pushed through the door into the kitchen, where he found his mother and friend chatting.

"Thanks honey, put them on the counter there, would you?" Ms. Klein said, brushing a stray lock of hair from her eyes. Vegeta grunted and complied, setting the bags down with a loud 'thunk'. He snorted at Piccolo, who was leaning against the counter with his arms folded. "Don't suppose you'd care to help me, Green bean? Well, I guess it doesn't matter...you look a little out of breath anyway. Run out of air while you bored my mother or what?" Piccolo grinned but didn't say anything, shrugging slightly. He was startled to see Vegeta's mother gesturing behind him, pointing at her crotch and making a fast upward motion. Piccolo was confused until he realized she was telling him his fly was open. He turned his back on Vegeta before he could notice and zipped up noiselessly. He turned back to face his friend a moment later, smiling largely.

"I don't think I bored your mother, Vegeta. I did offer to help her fix lunch, though, so you aren't really needed for another good hour while we get everything ready-"

"For God's sake, I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when the food is ready." Vegeta left the kitchen without another word, leaving Piccolo and Julia alone. Both looked at the other's guilty face and broke out into laughter at the absurdity.

"That was close, Piccolo! Your pants weren't even on when the car pulled up." She giggled and kissed the younger man on the lips, nibbling playfully when he pretended to try to pull away.

"You shouldn't talk... You were still hooking your bra when he was opening the door." The woman giggled and blushed slightly. "I love being divorced." She said, straightening Piccolo's collar a little. Piccolo started to do the same for her, but instead of bringing the fabric together, he began pulling the buttons apart again, making Julia slap his hands away playfully.

"I'll have to teach you some self control, young man. But for now let's fix lunch before Vegeta dies of hunger." Piccolo nodded and gave her ass a final love slap before pulling the different items out of the bag, smiling to himself. He didn't care if he was being used. Banging one's best friend's mom was something not every guy his age got to say and be proud of. He personally liked older women, because they knew what they wanted and didn't mess around. His opinion was reinforced when he felt Julia's breasts pressing against his back as she gave him a quick nibble-like kiss on the neck.

"Let's hurry and get this food done, hmm?" She said coyly, rubbing Piccolo's stomach while the rest of her form was still pressed against his back. "It'd probably be even more fun if Vegeta was in the house still... More danger, you know?"

'This woman is a freak.' Piccolo mused as he felt her hand fumble with his belt. '...I like it.'