Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Bass Files
One door closes, the next one opens
3 reviewsIn this chapter Nadine has more bad luck (karma?) and Sheena finds herself offered something that she shouldn´t refuse. (And no, it´s not neon highlights. Not Andy´s "drumstick" either.)
2Funny
11. One door closes, the next one opens
Even though I momentarily pitied myself the most during the band practices that followed The Break-up, I realized that Andy was in the worst situation from all of us. He was faced with keeping the balance between having Joe´s back because he was not only his band mate but also had been a confidant since junior high school and being considerate of his sister´s wishes and attitude towards the man who had broken one of her closest friend´s heart "into tiny bits and pieces and then danced polka on them", to quote Joyce.
The last bit about the dancing referred to the circumstance that Joseph had already started to date someone new. And that someone new was Jordan who you might remember from when I met the girls for the first time. Jordan, also known as Fox´s little sister.
Apparently there had been a thing going on between them way back when Joe and Nadine were still going out. How do I know that? Well, let´s just say Fox might be a fox but she´s not as cunning as one. My guess is she´s not even as cunning as a pile of coffee beans. Andy told me that the other day she had blurted out that Jordan had finally done it with her new boyfriend, after having dated him for two months or so. A few days later Patrick was surprised to find her and Joe making out on their couch. Nadine did the math and was not amused. She didn´t find it amusing that Joe had cheated on her and she found it even less amusing that Fox had known about this and hadn´t even lost one single word about it.
This new revelation shook the garage once again, to the extent that Nadine refused to be in the same room as Fox, let alone talk to her. (Believe it or not, even a seemingly heartless person like me could relate to that.) I hadn´t talked to either of them since having walked out on them during band practice. Therefore, I relied on Andy´s intelligence regarding the state of affairs in ´Pretty in Punk´ land. Joyce had called me on the phone once and had asked if I would be willing to come over and try to make amends with Nadine to which I had replied that I didn´t intend to spend my time with a short-fused bitchy female who had a distorted vision of reality. (I mean it´s bad enough having to share a body with one.) Less than a week passed when the short-fused bitch found out Fox´s betrayal to her. That pretty much put the band on ice.
"Man, that sucks," Joe commented the situation. "I´m sorry if I screwed things up for ya."
I was at his and Patrick´s place, Andy was due to show up any minute so the guys could practice. I put on an air of indifference, "It´s alright. Probably wasn´t meant to be anyway." Probably? Who was I trying to kid. I fit in with Joyce and the rest like decent shows fit in the schedule of MTV.
Patrick made his way from the kitchen, carrying cans of soda for us. "You could be playing bass in our band."
"I don´t know," I said.
"Dude," Joe met Patrick with disbelief, "we said no chicks in the band." Then he looked over to me, "No offence."
"None taken." You, jerk. Actually I could see how a woman would pose a problem to the band if Joe couldn´t even bring himself to break up with one girl before humping the next one.
Patrick shrugged, "It was just a thought."
"Neat hat you got there," I told him.
He gave me a shy smile, "Thanks. Got that one at an Elvis Costello concert."
"In that case it´s even neater."
Sheepish laughter.
"Yup, that´s why there´s the no-chick-in-the-band rule," Joe interrupted us.
"God, shut up," Patrick told him, adjusting his hat.
Then Andy showed up and the boys got down to music business while the chick watched and listened them. (Anyone else develop a sudden craving for KFC?)
_ _ _ _ _
"Let´s call it a day, people," Andy put down his drumsticks.
"Suits me fine," Joe turned off the bass amp and pointed at the clock on the wall behind me "as I have a date."
Patrick shook his head disapprovingly.
Joe gave him a look, "Yeah, I KNOW how you feel about the matter. I´m still gonna go on dating Jordan so lay off the righteousness already. Go fumble around with your silly hat instead."
That last remark made me smirk, if only for a second.
"Smell you later, everyone."
"Bye, Joe," I said. Andy nodded at him. Patrick was busy fumbling around with his silly hat and ignored his friend.
"Do you guys wanna grab something to eat?" Andy asked from behind the drum set. "My treat."
"Yeah, I could eat something," Patrick replied. I agreed.
_ _ _ _ _
An hour later the three of us were sitting in a little place that served pizza, pasta and various vegetarian dishes, having just finished our dinner.
"So," Patrick struck up a conversation* "I was suggesting that Sheena play bass for us now that she´s a musical freelancer again."
"Really?" Andy, sitting next to him and opposite of me, looked at me.
"Only Joe didn´t seem to like the idea very much," I added.
"Oh, Joe. Set him in front of a computer get or a pretty girl and he´ll shut up," Andy half-joked.
"...because I´ve been thinking if that worked out we could have two guitars. That would be sweet. You can do lots of fucked-up shit if you have two guitars," Patrick interjected. Had Patrick just used boo boo words? Imagine a swearing Tellytubby. "I had this idea for a song where the second guitar could -"
I cut him off, "I didn´t even say yes." I was starting to feel uneasy about this. It was one thing playing in a band with semi-talented kids in college who did it to pass the time but a whole
different matter to join a band with someone as musically advanced as Patrick. And someone who played drums and was seriously starting to take up more space up in my head than the gray mass in there.
Andy grinned, placed his hand on my forearm and patted it lightly, "It´s not use trying to stop him when he´s having a musical vision." Then he drew back his hand. Oh well, three seconds of bliss. Hey, that was more than Nadine had credited Joe with.
Patrick´s lips curled into a small smile, then he clicked his tongue, "As I was saying, join the band, Sheena." He looked at me with big pleading eyes.
Andy cleared his throat, "Well, we did make that no-chicks-in-the-band rule for a reason..."
I preferred to stay silent for the time being.
"Like Sheena is going to give us a hard time."
Thanks, Patrick. Nice Tellytubby.
"Joe´s busy with screwing Jordan," he continued. "He´s not gonna hit on her. Also, I don´t think you´re quite his type." He eyed me. I chose to look as if that hadn´t offended me a bit.
Andy smirked, "Probably not."
This conversation was just getting worse by the minute.
"So what could possibly happen?" Patrick elaborated on the topic, "I guess if you wanted to date her you´d have asked by now. And I... yeah, we know I´m kinda outta the question on matters like this one."
I couldn´t interpret Andy´s reactions to Patrick´s comment on him dating me because he didn´t show any. Was that good, was that bad? And why couldn´t I just cut out the girliness that only kept growing stronger since I had slept on Andy´s couch?
"Of course," Andy picked up on Patrick´s last words, "because you´re all about my little sister." There was a teasing tone in his voice.
Patrick looked at me, "I figured you picked up on that by now. It seems I´m not too good at hiding my feelings." He looked down on the table. You could tell he wasn´t happy that his affection for Joyce was so obvious.
"I had a weak suspicion." He was feeling bad enough.
Andy couldn´t help himself but laughed out loud to that.
"Anyhow," Patrick tried to get back to our previous subject, "you should join our band. You´d be a real enrichment." That was just too cute. "Don´t you think so too, Andy?" He winked at me, "I remember when you came over after Sheena had tried out for ´Pretty in Punk´. You were going on about how awes-"
He was interrupted, "Thanks, Patrick, I remember. I was there." The man seemed a bit embarrassed.
"So?", Patrick urged him.
"Well, I think we should talk to Joe about this again before making a final decision but I surely wouldn´t mind." Andy smiled at me, "You are a very skilled bassist after all."
Just as I was about to say something that would make me seem modest Andy´s cell rang.
"Whassup? ... Hm, that sucks... Yeah... Tell you what, I´ll come over and see what I can do, okay?... Ok, see you in about 10." He closed his phone with a snap and turned to Patrick and me. "Sorry, but I gotta leave you guys. My friend Matt´s got a problem with his computer. Needs to hand in an important paper for his history class tomorrow and the little twerp just won´t let him access the document to finish it." He got up.
"No problem," I told him.
"You can walk home from here, right?", Andy asked. "It´s not far from your apartment I think."
I nodded, "Sure."
Andy addressed Patrick, "You be a gentleman and walk her home."
"Aye, aye, sir. "
"Alright. Bye, kids," with that he headed out the door.
______________
* No kidding.
Even though I momentarily pitied myself the most during the band practices that followed The Break-up, I realized that Andy was in the worst situation from all of us. He was faced with keeping the balance between having Joe´s back because he was not only his band mate but also had been a confidant since junior high school and being considerate of his sister´s wishes and attitude towards the man who had broken one of her closest friend´s heart "into tiny bits and pieces and then danced polka on them", to quote Joyce.
The last bit about the dancing referred to the circumstance that Joseph had already started to date someone new. And that someone new was Jordan who you might remember from when I met the girls for the first time. Jordan, also known as Fox´s little sister.
Apparently there had been a thing going on between them way back when Joe and Nadine were still going out. How do I know that? Well, let´s just say Fox might be a fox but she´s not as cunning as one. My guess is she´s not even as cunning as a pile of coffee beans. Andy told me that the other day she had blurted out that Jordan had finally done it with her new boyfriend, after having dated him for two months or so. A few days later Patrick was surprised to find her and Joe making out on their couch. Nadine did the math and was not amused. She didn´t find it amusing that Joe had cheated on her and she found it even less amusing that Fox had known about this and hadn´t even lost one single word about it.
This new revelation shook the garage once again, to the extent that Nadine refused to be in the same room as Fox, let alone talk to her. (Believe it or not, even a seemingly heartless person like me could relate to that.) I hadn´t talked to either of them since having walked out on them during band practice. Therefore, I relied on Andy´s intelligence regarding the state of affairs in ´Pretty in Punk´ land. Joyce had called me on the phone once and had asked if I would be willing to come over and try to make amends with Nadine to which I had replied that I didn´t intend to spend my time with a short-fused bitchy female who had a distorted vision of reality. (I mean it´s bad enough having to share a body with one.) Less than a week passed when the short-fused bitch found out Fox´s betrayal to her. That pretty much put the band on ice.
"Man, that sucks," Joe commented the situation. "I´m sorry if I screwed things up for ya."
I was at his and Patrick´s place, Andy was due to show up any minute so the guys could practice. I put on an air of indifference, "It´s alright. Probably wasn´t meant to be anyway." Probably? Who was I trying to kid. I fit in with Joyce and the rest like decent shows fit in the schedule of MTV.
Patrick made his way from the kitchen, carrying cans of soda for us. "You could be playing bass in our band."
"I don´t know," I said.
"Dude," Joe met Patrick with disbelief, "we said no chicks in the band." Then he looked over to me, "No offence."
"None taken." You, jerk. Actually I could see how a woman would pose a problem to the band if Joe couldn´t even bring himself to break up with one girl before humping the next one.
Patrick shrugged, "It was just a thought."
"Neat hat you got there," I told him.
He gave me a shy smile, "Thanks. Got that one at an Elvis Costello concert."
"In that case it´s even neater."
Sheepish laughter.
"Yup, that´s why there´s the no-chick-in-the-band rule," Joe interrupted us.
"God, shut up," Patrick told him, adjusting his hat.
Then Andy showed up and the boys got down to music business while the chick watched and listened them. (Anyone else develop a sudden craving for KFC?)
_ _ _ _ _
"Let´s call it a day, people," Andy put down his drumsticks.
"Suits me fine," Joe turned off the bass amp and pointed at the clock on the wall behind me "as I have a date."
Patrick shook his head disapprovingly.
Joe gave him a look, "Yeah, I KNOW how you feel about the matter. I´m still gonna go on dating Jordan so lay off the righteousness already. Go fumble around with your silly hat instead."
That last remark made me smirk, if only for a second.
"Smell you later, everyone."
"Bye, Joe," I said. Andy nodded at him. Patrick was busy fumbling around with his silly hat and ignored his friend.
"Do you guys wanna grab something to eat?" Andy asked from behind the drum set. "My treat."
"Yeah, I could eat something," Patrick replied. I agreed.
_ _ _ _ _
An hour later the three of us were sitting in a little place that served pizza, pasta and various vegetarian dishes, having just finished our dinner.
"So," Patrick struck up a conversation* "I was suggesting that Sheena play bass for us now that she´s a musical freelancer again."
"Really?" Andy, sitting next to him and opposite of me, looked at me.
"Only Joe didn´t seem to like the idea very much," I added.
"Oh, Joe. Set him in front of a computer get or a pretty girl and he´ll shut up," Andy half-joked.
"...because I´ve been thinking if that worked out we could have two guitars. That would be sweet. You can do lots of fucked-up shit if you have two guitars," Patrick interjected. Had Patrick just used boo boo words? Imagine a swearing Tellytubby. "I had this idea for a song where the second guitar could -"
I cut him off, "I didn´t even say yes." I was starting to feel uneasy about this. It was one thing playing in a band with semi-talented kids in college who did it to pass the time but a whole
different matter to join a band with someone as musically advanced as Patrick. And someone who played drums and was seriously starting to take up more space up in my head than the gray mass in there.
Andy grinned, placed his hand on my forearm and patted it lightly, "It´s not use trying to stop him when he´s having a musical vision." Then he drew back his hand. Oh well, three seconds of bliss. Hey, that was more than Nadine had credited Joe with.
Patrick´s lips curled into a small smile, then he clicked his tongue, "As I was saying, join the band, Sheena." He looked at me with big pleading eyes.
Andy cleared his throat, "Well, we did make that no-chicks-in-the-band rule for a reason..."
I preferred to stay silent for the time being.
"Like Sheena is going to give us a hard time."
Thanks, Patrick. Nice Tellytubby.
"Joe´s busy with screwing Jordan," he continued. "He´s not gonna hit on her. Also, I don´t think you´re quite his type." He eyed me. I chose to look as if that hadn´t offended me a bit.
Andy smirked, "Probably not."
This conversation was just getting worse by the minute.
"So what could possibly happen?" Patrick elaborated on the topic, "I guess if you wanted to date her you´d have asked by now. And I... yeah, we know I´m kinda outta the question on matters like this one."
I couldn´t interpret Andy´s reactions to Patrick´s comment on him dating me because he didn´t show any. Was that good, was that bad? And why couldn´t I just cut out the girliness that only kept growing stronger since I had slept on Andy´s couch?
"Of course," Andy picked up on Patrick´s last words, "because you´re all about my little sister." There was a teasing tone in his voice.
Patrick looked at me, "I figured you picked up on that by now. It seems I´m not too good at hiding my feelings." He looked down on the table. You could tell he wasn´t happy that his affection for Joyce was so obvious.
"I had a weak suspicion." He was feeling bad enough.
Andy couldn´t help himself but laughed out loud to that.
"Anyhow," Patrick tried to get back to our previous subject, "you should join our band. You´d be a real enrichment." That was just too cute. "Don´t you think so too, Andy?" He winked at me, "I remember when you came over after Sheena had tried out for ´Pretty in Punk´. You were going on about how awes-"
He was interrupted, "Thanks, Patrick, I remember. I was there." The man seemed a bit embarrassed.
"So?", Patrick urged him.
"Well, I think we should talk to Joe about this again before making a final decision but I surely wouldn´t mind." Andy smiled at me, "You are a very skilled bassist after all."
Just as I was about to say something that would make me seem modest Andy´s cell rang.
"Whassup? ... Hm, that sucks... Yeah... Tell you what, I´ll come over and see what I can do, okay?... Ok, see you in about 10." He closed his phone with a snap and turned to Patrick and me. "Sorry, but I gotta leave you guys. My friend Matt´s got a problem with his computer. Needs to hand in an important paper for his history class tomorrow and the little twerp just won´t let him access the document to finish it." He got up.
"No problem," I told him.
"You can walk home from here, right?", Andy asked. "It´s not far from your apartment I think."
I nodded, "Sure."
Andy addressed Patrick, "You be a gentleman and walk her home."
"Aye, aye, sir. "
"Alright. Bye, kids," with that he headed out the door.
______________
* No kidding.
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