Categories > TV > Gilmore Girls > Blood and Coffee
Girls night in
0 reviewsLorelai Gilmore recieves a package in the mail. When she opens it, she finds her house haunted by a certain bleached vampire. Crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: the Series
0Unrated
AN: takes place post-BTVS S.7 and right after the finale of GG. S.6.
Starts off a little slow, forgive me; it will pick up, I promise.
Disclaimer: none of it's mine.
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"Richard, what is this?" Emily Gilmore demanded, striding into her husband's study. He looked up and saw the package she held in her hand. A pleased look broke across his face.
"Ah, you found the present I left you. Do you like it?" He asked
"Like it? I haven't even opened it yet. I went out to my car to find the new maid hiding it in my seat. I thought she was planting a car bomb or something, only to find out you told her to hide it there. Why would you do that?" Richard sighed, exasperated.
"Emily, it is a gift. I had her hide it so that it would be more of a surprise for you. Now why don't you open it?"
Emily opened the packaged, and a big, gaudy necklace fell out of it. She stared at it in distaste.
"What in the world am I supposed to do with this, Richard? It's hideous; where did you get it?"
"That is an antique. Very valuable I'm told. My partners at Wolfram and Hart, that law firm in Las Angeles? They sent it to me." Emily looked down at the ugly necklace, trying to think of what to do with it.
"Well, perhaps Lorelai will like it. It should fit right in with that wardrobe of hers." She said dismissively. Richard sighed.
"Do whatever you want with it, Emily."
"Amelia! Send this atrocious piece of costume jewelry to my daughter please. And try not to add any anthrax to the package. If you're so determined to kill me, I'd like some member of my family to remain unharmed. Amelia!"
Once Emily had left his study, Richard picked up his phone and dialed.
"Lindsay McDonald, please...just tell him... Everything's going according to plan."
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Lorelei left Luke and made her way home. It was over. They had gone from being friends to lovers to even more than that, and now all of it was gone.
She went into the house and threw off her shoes. Not caring where they landed. Walking to the kitchen, she opened the fridge and got out her emergency stash of Haagen-Daas. If there were ever a time to eat it, It was now. Lorelai took the ice cream and a spoon to the living room. She sat on the couch and took a bite, the events of the evening rushing back to her as she did. Lorelei set down the ice cream and curled up on the couch and started to cry.
'Ring, Ring!' The sound of the phone woke her. Lorelei jumped odd the couch to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Mom? I need to come over."
Lorelei opened the door and Rory flew into her arms.
"Oh, hey hon, it's all right." She said, trying to sooth her sobbing daughter.
"I-I know! It's just the immediate 'he's- gone- and- what- am- I- gonna- do' thing. It sucks!" She cried. The two separated and Rory wiped her eyes. Taking in her mom's rumpled appearance and own tear- streaked eyes, she asked,
"Mom, what's wrong?" Lorelei smiled sadly.
"Well, it doesn't look like Luke and I are getting married." She told her.
"WHAT! Why?"
After telling each other what had happened the night before, the two Gilmores sat on the couch, both as sad as hell.
"Guys suck. They come to you, make you fall for them, and then either leave or stop caring. Jerks. Is there any magic cure for this stuff? Any pill, or drink, or food that makes it all better? You've had this happen a lot more than me, you outta know."
Lorelei looked down at the coffee table and picked up her melted Haagen-Daas.
"Ice cream soup?"
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The girls woke up later in the afternoon, starved; the ice cream soup hadn't done much to fill them.
"So, I guess going to Luke's is pretty much out, huh?" Rory guessed.
"Pretty much. It would kinda take away from the storming off if we just go
back the next morning demanding food."
"So we starve."
"Well, not necessarily. We could order in. I get pizza and sacrifice and let you get Indian?" she tried. Fortunately in worked.
"Really? Cool! I order, you pick movies."
"Deal. First, I'm gonna go grab the mail. The new Cosmo's out, and what's better for cheering a girl up than Cosmo and 'Fried Green Tomatoes'?
Lorelei headed for the mailbox and pulled out her mail.
"Bills, Cosmo, package from my mother...agh." She groaned.
"Let me guess; the profiles of the 25 most eligible sons of the Daughters of the American Revolution. She would." She headed back inside and dropped the mail on the table, sans package.
"Hey! I got something from my mom. I think it's the details for my arranged marriage to my cousin Greg."
"Great. I just ordered. So we can go over seating charts and flower arrangements while we eat. I call dibs on Maid of Honor by the way."
Lorelei didn't answer. 'It's not like I don't already have a church.' She thought sadly. She started to turn the package around in her hands.
"It feels like a paperweight or something."
"Well, open it!" Rory called out from the kitchen. Lorelei reached for its flap and ripped. A brilliant light shot out, and a necklace fell to the floor. Dust started pouring out of it and building up, forming bones, muscles, skin. Suddenly, there was a screaming man standing in the Gilmore living room. Once he stopped yelling, he looked around, a shocked expression on his face. He backed up to the table behind him, only to look down and find himself standing in it. He looked up at Lorelei, and then around the room.
"Oh, bloody hell."
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Rory rushed back into the living room when she heard screaming, and was shocked at what she saw.
"Mom, Billy Idol's standing in our table. Oh no, does that mean Billy Idol's dead?" The man looked down at himself and touched the wall experimentally. His hand went through. Looking like he was on the verge of a breakdown of some kind, he asked softly,
"Where's Buffy? Why am I here? Is this some sort of really bizarre hell dimension or something?"
Lorelei stared at him, completely flabbergasted.
"Um, I don't know where Buffy is, possibly in England or something. It's not in America, anyway, cause no American would name a town that. Also, I don't know why you're here; was sorta hoping you could answer that for me, seeing as you're the one who poured himself outta my necklace and went all 'Mummy' in my living room. So, my turn, who are you?" She rambled, but the man had stopped listening after she mentioned the necklace.
"A necklace? Kinda like a big, ugly thing, right?" she nodded. "Where?"
Lorelei pointed at the amulet lying next to the couch. He bent over to pick it up, and his hand went right through it.
" Oh bollocks!" he sighed frustrated. He turned to Lorelei.
" D'you think you could-?" he nodded in the direction of the amulet.
"Yea, that ghost things a problem, isn't it?" She picked up the amulet and held it out for him to see. She looked at him as he looked at it. He really was good-looking, for a dead guy.
Rory came over to her mom and curiously joined in the studying of the ghost.
"...So, how long have you been dead?" she asked, at a loss. He looked up, distractedly,
"Oh, about one hundred-thirty years now, give or take." Rory raised her eyebrows.
"Oh. You've been trapped in that necklace the whole time?" He shook his head.
"No, just the last few months, judging by your calendar. Seems like no time at all." Lorelei's face scrunched up.
"I don't get it. The amulet is a...ghost- catching thing?"
"It's a long story, luv. Summary of it would be that I was wearing this when I saved the world a few months back, and I obviously got sucked up into it when I dusted." He told them matter- of- factly. They both stared at him.
"So," Rory started, "You're dead, but you saved the world, and you died again and got sucked into an amulet? And since when did they have hair dye and leather trench coats a hundred and fifty years ago?"
The man looked at her, clearly offended.
" I am not a century and a half old! I said 130, give or take. And I got the coat in the seventies. And as far as saving the world, it wasn't the first time, pet."
"What about you dying twice? He looked them straight in the eyes and answered.
/"Vampire."/
That's when the laughter started.
Starts off a little slow, forgive me; it will pick up, I promise.
Disclaimer: none of it's mine.
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"Richard, what is this?" Emily Gilmore demanded, striding into her husband's study. He looked up and saw the package she held in her hand. A pleased look broke across his face.
"Ah, you found the present I left you. Do you like it?" He asked
"Like it? I haven't even opened it yet. I went out to my car to find the new maid hiding it in my seat. I thought she was planting a car bomb or something, only to find out you told her to hide it there. Why would you do that?" Richard sighed, exasperated.
"Emily, it is a gift. I had her hide it so that it would be more of a surprise for you. Now why don't you open it?"
Emily opened the packaged, and a big, gaudy necklace fell out of it. She stared at it in distaste.
"What in the world am I supposed to do with this, Richard? It's hideous; where did you get it?"
"That is an antique. Very valuable I'm told. My partners at Wolfram and Hart, that law firm in Las Angeles? They sent it to me." Emily looked down at the ugly necklace, trying to think of what to do with it.
"Well, perhaps Lorelai will like it. It should fit right in with that wardrobe of hers." She said dismissively. Richard sighed.
"Do whatever you want with it, Emily."
"Amelia! Send this atrocious piece of costume jewelry to my daughter please. And try not to add any anthrax to the package. If you're so determined to kill me, I'd like some member of my family to remain unharmed. Amelia!"
Once Emily had left his study, Richard picked up his phone and dialed.
"Lindsay McDonald, please...just tell him... Everything's going according to plan."
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Lorelei left Luke and made her way home. It was over. They had gone from being friends to lovers to even more than that, and now all of it was gone.
She went into the house and threw off her shoes. Not caring where they landed. Walking to the kitchen, she opened the fridge and got out her emergency stash of Haagen-Daas. If there were ever a time to eat it, It was now. Lorelai took the ice cream and a spoon to the living room. She sat on the couch and took a bite, the events of the evening rushing back to her as she did. Lorelei set down the ice cream and curled up on the couch and started to cry.
'Ring, Ring!' The sound of the phone woke her. Lorelei jumped odd the couch to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Mom? I need to come over."
Lorelei opened the door and Rory flew into her arms.
"Oh, hey hon, it's all right." She said, trying to sooth her sobbing daughter.
"I-I know! It's just the immediate 'he's- gone- and- what- am- I- gonna- do' thing. It sucks!" She cried. The two separated and Rory wiped her eyes. Taking in her mom's rumpled appearance and own tear- streaked eyes, she asked,
"Mom, what's wrong?" Lorelei smiled sadly.
"Well, it doesn't look like Luke and I are getting married." She told her.
"WHAT! Why?"
After telling each other what had happened the night before, the two Gilmores sat on the couch, both as sad as hell.
"Guys suck. They come to you, make you fall for them, and then either leave or stop caring. Jerks. Is there any magic cure for this stuff? Any pill, or drink, or food that makes it all better? You've had this happen a lot more than me, you outta know."
Lorelei looked down at the coffee table and picked up her melted Haagen-Daas.
"Ice cream soup?"
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The girls woke up later in the afternoon, starved; the ice cream soup hadn't done much to fill them.
"So, I guess going to Luke's is pretty much out, huh?" Rory guessed.
"Pretty much. It would kinda take away from the storming off if we just go
back the next morning demanding food."
"So we starve."
"Well, not necessarily. We could order in. I get pizza and sacrifice and let you get Indian?" she tried. Fortunately in worked.
"Really? Cool! I order, you pick movies."
"Deal. First, I'm gonna go grab the mail. The new Cosmo's out, and what's better for cheering a girl up than Cosmo and 'Fried Green Tomatoes'?
Lorelei headed for the mailbox and pulled out her mail.
"Bills, Cosmo, package from my mother...agh." She groaned.
"Let me guess; the profiles of the 25 most eligible sons of the Daughters of the American Revolution. She would." She headed back inside and dropped the mail on the table, sans package.
"Hey! I got something from my mom. I think it's the details for my arranged marriage to my cousin Greg."
"Great. I just ordered. So we can go over seating charts and flower arrangements while we eat. I call dibs on Maid of Honor by the way."
Lorelei didn't answer. 'It's not like I don't already have a church.' She thought sadly. She started to turn the package around in her hands.
"It feels like a paperweight or something."
"Well, open it!" Rory called out from the kitchen. Lorelei reached for its flap and ripped. A brilliant light shot out, and a necklace fell to the floor. Dust started pouring out of it and building up, forming bones, muscles, skin. Suddenly, there was a screaming man standing in the Gilmore living room. Once he stopped yelling, he looked around, a shocked expression on his face. He backed up to the table behind him, only to look down and find himself standing in it. He looked up at Lorelei, and then around the room.
"Oh, bloody hell."
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Rory rushed back into the living room when she heard screaming, and was shocked at what she saw.
"Mom, Billy Idol's standing in our table. Oh no, does that mean Billy Idol's dead?" The man looked down at himself and touched the wall experimentally. His hand went through. Looking like he was on the verge of a breakdown of some kind, he asked softly,
"Where's Buffy? Why am I here? Is this some sort of really bizarre hell dimension or something?"
Lorelei stared at him, completely flabbergasted.
"Um, I don't know where Buffy is, possibly in England or something. It's not in America, anyway, cause no American would name a town that. Also, I don't know why you're here; was sorta hoping you could answer that for me, seeing as you're the one who poured himself outta my necklace and went all 'Mummy' in my living room. So, my turn, who are you?" She rambled, but the man had stopped listening after she mentioned the necklace.
"A necklace? Kinda like a big, ugly thing, right?" she nodded. "Where?"
Lorelei pointed at the amulet lying next to the couch. He bent over to pick it up, and his hand went right through it.
" Oh bollocks!" he sighed frustrated. He turned to Lorelei.
" D'you think you could-?" he nodded in the direction of the amulet.
"Yea, that ghost things a problem, isn't it?" She picked up the amulet and held it out for him to see. She looked at him as he looked at it. He really was good-looking, for a dead guy.
Rory came over to her mom and curiously joined in the studying of the ghost.
"...So, how long have you been dead?" she asked, at a loss. He looked up, distractedly,
"Oh, about one hundred-thirty years now, give or take." Rory raised her eyebrows.
"Oh. You've been trapped in that necklace the whole time?" He shook his head.
"No, just the last few months, judging by your calendar. Seems like no time at all." Lorelei's face scrunched up.
"I don't get it. The amulet is a...ghost- catching thing?"
"It's a long story, luv. Summary of it would be that I was wearing this when I saved the world a few months back, and I obviously got sucked up into it when I dusted." He told them matter- of- factly. They both stared at him.
"So," Rory started, "You're dead, but you saved the world, and you died again and got sucked into an amulet? And since when did they have hair dye and leather trench coats a hundred and fifty years ago?"
The man looked at her, clearly offended.
" I am not a century and a half old! I said 130, give or take. And I got the coat in the seventies. And as far as saving the world, it wasn't the first time, pet."
"What about you dying twice? He looked them straight in the eyes and answered.
/"Vampire."/
That's when the laughter started.
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