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• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) ArwenUndomiel 2006-10-10

  Well, it's definately an interesting idea. I agree with a lot of the points you made, and they were very wittily delivered. However, a lot of people could find it offensive. Everyone has different taste in stories, and there is a place for everything in the fandom. I like it, though. An amusing read.

  Author's response

  It's true people are going to be annoyed, but heck, badficcers have been annoying me as well, so I thought I'd get a little revenge. Glad you liked it!

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) Gandalfs_apprentice 2006-10-11

  Spot on.

  Author's response

  Thanks! I'm not sure I covered everything, though.

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) helluin 2006-10-17

  Oh lordy.
  
  Gales of laughter and snot. I think I've breathed in a little too much of that mulch. Thank you.
  
  I'm terribly afraid that last one was me. Luckily I fell on my sword (pen? phallic-shaped object? Aigh!) after discovering creeping Suedom in an OC and haven't written LOTR fic in 2 years.
  
  The Freudian/psychoanalytical commentary also hurt so good.

  Author's response

  Hey, anybody can recover from badfic if they try hard enough! I'm very pleased you enjoyed this primer.

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) Michelle 2006-10-22

  LOL, thank for linking the h/c stories with slash:) I'm actually thinking of sending that to some people and start a flame war. It would certainly make a dull Sunday all the funnier g!
  
  Says Michelle, who admits to liking h/c (lots and lots and lots) and liking slash (even more). Gotta face your kinks;-)

  Author's response

  I happen to like slash, too, but I read het and gen as well. I'm willing to read all sorts of weird things, but I can't stand bad storytelling and bad writing. H/C is definitely a slash kink, since you don't see much het h/c in fandom. The exception is the 'injured Sue' trying to win Legolas' affections, but she always has to recover fast so she slay the next hundred orcs single-handed and hog the plot. I'm happy you found this amusing.

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) Ithilwen 2007-01-14

  Yo. I read "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" a long time ago, but I had no idea that it had ever been an expression.
  
  I contest your hormonal explanation for CLE stories on the grounds that I doubt George Lucas was taking oxytocin when he wrote "Phantom Menace." (Oh, but if you read the appendices, you'll find that Estel/Aragorn didn't mean Arwen until he was twenty. She was visiting Galadriel for a few decades.)
  
  Eh. It reads just like a piece of rage, which I suppose is what it is. Still, it could be a lot funnier with some tweakage.

  Author's response

  The expression 'Walter Mitty' for a Sue-like character has been in use for quite a while now in the regular literary world, but it seems to have missed the fanfic community.
  
  As for oxytocin, believe it or not, men do produce it, but unlike women, who have more of it in their 20s and 30 than when they're older, men produce more of it in their 50s than when they're in their 20s. That's why younger men are more likely to be cavalier about the subject of marriage. When they're older, men are more likely to want a wife around. Oxytocin does several things, but it's noted for being the 'bonding' hormone.
  
  As for the appendices, I have read them, but the point I'm trying to make is that so many people hate Arwen so much, they'll never write her in anywhere as part of Aragorn's life because they want him to marry their OC or because they want to slash him.
  
  This piece is indeed a rant, as I've warned people in the beginning. It was my intention that any humor is going to be secondary to the fist-shaking. Call it the equivalent of a literary prophylactic. If I have prevented the birth of even one single badfic, I have done my duty.

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) northamericanscum 2008-08-04

  The Tolken fandom's spastic cousin can fit an entire head in it's pocket?!?
  

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) Gabi4CSI 2008-10-23

  Fantastic analysis there. Defiantly amused me, especially as I know an author who writes almost all of those! (not LOTR though, something else.)
  One concerned me slightly,as it made me wonder about a fic I'm writing. Though I'd hope I won't fall into any of these traps, and since I have changed every damn word about 3 times already, I think I may be safe. I used more of a Lost in Austen idea, which if no one knows what it is, I shan't tell them in case they snaffle my idea!
  Please do more of these, I love laughing at something :)
  xx

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) yndigot 2010-07-04

  Do I get a prize for knowing who Walter Mitty is? ...does it get taken away if I admit that ridiculously silly, bad mpreg is a secret guilty pleasure of mine?

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) yndigot 2010-07-04

  Do I get a prize for knowing who Walter Mitty is? ...does it get taken away if I admit that god awful, silly, mpreg is one of my guilty pleasures?

• How To Write A Lord of The Rings Badfic

  (#) Nikikeya-chan 2014-01-07

  I love this so much. Thank you for writing this. "RPF/Band Fics" make me cringe...
  
  Well as for things you MISSED:
  
  SIBLING/COUSINS FICS: Fics where Legolas/Aragorn/Bilbo etc suddenly has a sibling/cousin, and he/(more commonly)She HAS to come along on the quest. (And subsequently the story slowly disintegrates into said sibling's personal diary from there.)
  
  ^This also complies to "WOMEN BEING AWESOME" fics. Where (Arwen usually) hikes up her skirts and comes along, and of course, she's a master at the sword/bow, healing, and is so smart and wonderful that all the male characters are in awe of her. And anyone who ISN'T absolutely besotted with her, or who shows a normal for the time period reaction to a female warrior (Ie: Disdain) is ogled at in bewilderment like they've grown a second head and none of the main male protagonists seem to have any knowledge that "that reaction" is the prevailing wisdom of the times. And of course, the "perfect" female protagonist only gets mildly bothered by these reactions, and instead holds her head up high and abstains from kicking her critics' ass like a real tomboy would. (PC in LotR/Hobbit fanfics are painful.)
  
  Then also is my personal pet peeve that shows up increasingly:
  
  "GENDER BENDER"
  
  Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield being together is "gross". But Bilba/Bella Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield together is PERFECTLY acceptable....
  
  Usually used to work in pairings that would otherwise be slash. Or simply to have a "canon?" female character in the male dominated (for once) storyline.
  
  I would rather have a dozen OC females or WBA!Arwen along rather then see Boromir in a skirt...
  
  And of course the newly minted femsona! versions act absolutely NOTHING like their original male counterparts... Which again makes me scream and claw my eyes out and demand an OC be made instead.
  
  I generally dislike female characters in fanfiction. As they all seem to eventually become the same woman where as the guys at least have individual personalities...
  
  Anyways, great fic... Informational Pamplet. lol

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