FicWad

PART NINE

Ryan waited patiently for her response knowing this was something that would take a while to sink in to her brain. He watched her closely as she bit her bottom lip a little and thought carefully about what he had told her.
"Ok." She sat up and turned to look down at him. "I don't completely understand what you've done." She watched him pull the covers up over his naked body before he answered.
"I found you an apartment in Manhattan. I paid the deposit and the first month's rent." Ana's mouth fell open a little as she stared back at Ryan.
"But I don't understand." She said.
"That's it, nothing more to understand. I have the keys you can move in today." He sat up so they were face to face.
"Why would you do that?" she looked upset but he had been prepared for that.
"Because I can." He told her. Ana looked back at Ryan and he thought she might cry but she just stared with this strange expression on her face. "If it was the other way around and you could afford it you'd help me out right?" she nodded.
"But it's not like you're a millionaire just yet." She then said.
"We're starting to get some money in from the album though, it's quite a lot." He explained. "Anyway I only paid the first month; the rest is up to you."
"Do you understand how difficult this is for me?" she then asked him and he nodded at her, he did, he knew it was hard for her to accept.
"It's a gesture that's all." He told her and he leant forward to kiss her cheek. "I just want you to be happy." He added.
"God Ryan it's just too much."
"It isn't though. I haven't bought the place for you. Seriously Ana it's just me doing you a favour ok? Think of it as a loan if you prefer just try to be happy." She thought a while longer before she surprised him by throwing her arms around his neck.
"Thank you so much." She said as she hugged him.
"You're welcome." He smiled hoping that moment would indicate the start of something special between them. "Do you want to see it?" he then asked.
"Oh my god yes!" Ana jumped up from the bed excited. "Wow! Ryan I love you you're fucking great!" she called as she ran into the bathroom.

Ana couldn't believe how her day was turning out and as she looked around her new apartment she wondered if maybe she was dreaming all of it. The fact that someone as nice as Ryan wanted her was something she was still trying to understand so for him to do this for her, it blew her mind. The only person that had ever been that kind to her was Pete and she smiled when she realised if it wasn't for Pete she wouldn't even have Ryan. The apartment was perfect, it was small but all affordable apartments in the city were. It had an open plan living area and then a good sized bedroom with an en suite and the décor was plain and simple perfect for Ana to fill with all her stuff. Ryan was on the phone in the corridor so Ana just stood in the middle of the room taking it all in but thoughts began to creep into her mind. She looked over to see Ryan pacing back and forth as he talked on the phone, a beautiful smile on his face and his hand fussing his hair subconsciously. Ana started to realise how it looked, how it would seem to other people. It was an old cliché where the man sets up a few girls in different cities and spends his spare time going from one to the other. She saw Ryan's innocent face and told herself he would never do such a thing, Ryan wasn't like that. Then she thought of her own comment about not wanting to be his whore and she had a nasty sensation in her gut that she was allowing that to happen.

Ana quite firmly dragged Ryan by the hand through the crowds of people at the party. She was insistent that he met some friends of hers but he was less than enthusiastic. The house was rammed with people, it was manic inside they could barely move and he was well aware that he was being recognised. Ana's grip on his hand was strangely tight and he was starting to feel nervous. She finally stopped when they reached the kitchen and Ryan felt relieved to see there was some space in the room. He smiled politely and shook hands with some people as Ana introduced them.
"This is Sara, she works with me." Ana shouted a little louder than she needed to and Ryan suddenly realised she was quite wired. He considered how she had talked non stop all the way there and the way her eyes were wide and eager.
"Oh my god!" the girl laughed as she stared at him shaking his hand. "Wow!" she added twisting her streaks of pink hair around her fingers. "Ryan Ross." She was still staring at him making him feel like a caged animal.
"Yeah put your tongue away Sara." Ana told her pushing her friend aside to reach for a beer.
"No but I'm a fan and stuff." Sara told Ryan.
"Oh that's cool." Ryan told her taking a beer from Ana.
"Doesn't mean you can stare like that." One of the guys laughed forcing Sara to finally tear her eyes away from Ryan.
"She's totally obsessed with Brendon anyway so you're safe." Ana teased her friend.
"Fuck off shut up!" Sara was embarrassed but Ryan was more interested in Ana's body language as it dawned on him that she was high already.

Ana could feel her heart racing and her pulse was thumping in her head but she didn't feel like she could enjoy herself quite like she usually did because of Ryan. He was talking with her friend Sara about the band and she had convinced him to have his photo taken with her. Ana watched him as he posed with his arm around Sara for the photo and she thought how nice he was. He could have just told her to leave him alone but it would never have entered his head. He had too much respect for people in general and Ana knew her insecurities about him were unfounded and actually quite silly. Jim was there beside Ana arranging some lines of coke on a glass chopping board. Ana turned to see the neat lines of white powder and she figured it was a party after all.
"Ryan!" Jim called him over. "Hey buddy, your turn." Jim stood back and Ana was about to make excuses for Ryan when he spoke up for himself.
"No thanks." Ryan smiled at Jim.
"Oh ok no worries." Jim asked no questions and took the next line for himself. Ryan's eyes met Ana's and she saw his disappointment. Sara had joined the gathering along with a couple of others waiting for their turn and Ana knew Ryan must have felt completely lost at that point. "Ana." Jim stood back.
"Thanks." Ana stepped up to the board and as she leant down to snort the line her hair fell around her face. Jim leant forward to hold it back for her and immediately came into contact with Ryan.
"I got her." Ryan said catching Jim's eye and making his desire to protect Ana obvious. Ana was surprised by Ryan's gesture seeing as she was indulging in something he totally hated and she stopped just before she was about to do the line.
"What's up?" Jim asked seeing her hesitate.
"God do you know what?" Ana stood up. "I have a fucking headache. I can't do it."
"Ana!" Sara called out at her friend. "You fucking pussy." She laughed pushing in front of them. Ana stepped back and took Ryan's hand.
"Shall we go?" she asked him seeing him nod happily.

They turned to find a camera phone being pointed straight at them, a tall dark haired girl holding it up. Ana reached out pushing the phone to one side.
"What are you doing?" she asked angrily. The girl looked a little scared when she saw Ana's expression and dropped the phone to her side. "God!" Ana moaned pushing past her.
"I just wanted a picture." The girl said almost apologetically.
"It's ok." Ryan told her kindly.
"It's not ok!" Ana shouted as she stopped and turned back to face the girl. "We're at a fucking party!"
"I'm sorry." The girl said. Ana was furious when she saw Ryan reach out and just tap the girls arm telling her it was fine.
"For god's sake!" she said rolling her eyes at him.
"What? Come on." Ryan was embarrassed and started to try and move Ana out of the kitchen and further down the hallway. "Let's just go." He told her.
"Bitch!" the girl suddenly said making Ryan wish to God Ana hadn't heard that. He felt Ana's body tighten as she spun around.
"Come here and say that to my face little girl." Ana replied Ryan desperately trying to keep some kind of composure even though he felt like screaming at the top of his voice 'get me the fuck out of here!' Ana started up the hallway towards the girl but Ryan just caught her wrist as she passed him.
"Let go!" Ana caught his eye and saw a look she had never seen from Ryan before. He looked really quite angry. It made her stop in her tracks a moment and consider what she was planning to do and she realised starting a fight at a party with one of her boyfriend's fans was a very bad idea. "We leave now." He told Ana and to his surprise she nodded.
"Yes." She said taking his hand in hers and walking calmly out of the house.

They were silent all the way back to Ana's new apartment both of them understanding how this wasn't going to be an easy relationship to enter into and both of them aware that Ryan was leaving New York in the morning. Ana felt like she was always the bad one, always the person other people couldn't handle and eventually they palmed her off to someone else. She was presuming Ryan was about to do the same thing. Ryan was trying to think of how he could possibly tame a girl like Ana because she was so angry with everyone.
"Ok so you think I'm too this and I'm too that and maybe it would be better if we went our separate ways. Blah blah fucking blah right?" Ana said as she stood watching Ryan take his jacket off and drop it on the chair beside him. "Bet you wish you hadn't paid for this place now don't you?" she then laughed. She watched him exhale a long and slow breath. "Maybe next time you try and set up one of your groupies you should make sure she isn't going to misbehave." Ryan just stood staring back at her not sure what to say because he knew whatever he did say she would make it sound exactly how she wanted it to anyway. He couldn't beat Ana at this game he hadn't had as much practise as she had.

"I can't believe that didn't piss you off." She then started again. "You're at a party for fuck's sake that's just rude." Ryan had his hands in his pockets as he stood in front of her. "Why did you tell her it was fine? It wasn't fine." Ana grabbed her cigarettes from the table. "I should have fucking..."
"What Ana?" Ryan suddenly asked her. "What do you honestly think you should have done?" he asked in such a way Ana felt like a child being disciplined at school. "Do you ever fucking think about anything before you do it? Do you ever think about anything before you say it?" Ryan shouted.
"Yes!" Ana scowled back at him.
"It doesn't look that way from where I stand." Ryan replied.
"What does it look like from where you stand Ryan? Mr fucking perfect." He could see that spite she let out sometimes, that bitterness that came from somewhere deep inside her.
"It looks like you need some fucking therapy." He shouted at her. Ana threw the box of cigarettes at him watching him duck his head to miss the impact. "And anger management." He added.

Ana turned to pick up a book on the table beside her and Ryan laughed when she threw it at him, he ducked again hearing the book smack hard against the wall behind him.
"You're so angry all the time." He told her.
"You're so fucking annoying!" she shouted back at him. Ryan saw her eyes land on the pot plant and he shook his head at her. "What are you scared of a little plant?" she smiled.
"Ana stop it now this is stupid." Ryan moved forward and seized her wrists just as she was about to grab the plant from the side. "Just stop it." He said as he held her tightly.
"You want some perfect little girlfriend Ryan and that's fine but it's not me." Ana said their noses nearly touching as they stared closely at one another.
"I don't want perfect." He told her still gripping her wrists hard holding them to his chest.
"I don't know how to be the girl you want."
"All I need is for you to understand my situation isn't like everyone else's." Ryan explained to her feeling her breath on his skin as she slowly calmed herself. "I have this reputation now." He told her in a gentle voice. "The band, I mean I have kids that look up to me and shit." Ana's eyes dropped to the floor. "I don't want them to think it's cool to fight or cool to do drugs. That's not the image I want to portray, that's not what I'm about."
"I'm sorry." She felt his grip loosen on her wrists but he kept her hands close to him. "I know that but it's difficult because I'm everything you don't like."
"That's not true." He gently rubbed his nose against hers, their lips so close she could already taste him. "You're everything I adore." He told her.
"But I make you so angry." She said brushing her lips against his.
"I know it's kind of sexy though." He smiled and she let out a little laugh. "Some of the things that make you so difficult are the same things that make you so attractive." Their lips met very softly and they kissed.
"I'll try harder." Ana told him. Ryan was walking her slowly backwards and when she felt the cold wall on her back she looked up to him. "I promise."
"Me too." He replied.