Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Curse of Legalese
The Curse of Legalese
1 reviewSequel to Potter's Revenge. What dangerous things existed in the Potter's vault? Harry's about to find out.
5Funny
Disclaimer: Nope I don't make any money off this fic, if I didn't I won't be broke.
Bad Author Notes: First off let me state this fic is a sequel to Potter's Revenge. I created this series before Book 5 so Sirius is alive. Don't like it... Don't read it.
The Curse of Legalese
By Lady FoxFire
November 24, 2004
The front door of number four Privet Drive opened and in bounded a huge black hound. The dog ran in circles around the foyer before transforming from an animal into a man with jet-black hair and hazel eyes.
"Lucy, I'm home," Sirius called out in his best Ricky Ricardo impersonation, which was without a doubt the worst in the world.
"I hate re-runs," Remus grumbled under his breath. Stepping over the threshold, Remus kicked the front door shut as he struggled with the bags of groceries in his hands. "For Merlin's sake, Sirius, give me a hand?"
"Left one or the right?" Sirius replied automatically as he listened for Harry's reply
"Lucy, I'm home," he calls out once again but only louder than before.
"Harry?" Sirius called out, his voice cracked, betraying his nervousness when Harry didn't call back in his famous Lucille Ball whine of 'Ricky!'
Setting the bags down on the floor, Remus pulled his wand out from where he had hidden it among his Muggle clothing. Glancing quickly over at Sirius, Remus confirmed that Sirius had his wand out and was willing to use it.
With a sharp nod of his head, Sirius moved towards the doorway that led into the living room. Acting as back up, Remus watched for anyone who could possibly be in the house with them, someone who might want to harm them and had possibly harmed Harry.
"Harry?" Sirius called softly as he peaked around the corner.
The furniture had been pushed back against the wall and a multitude of boxes had been stacked in it's place. Sitting motionless on the floor, surrounded by boxes, was Harry.
"Harry?" Remus said as he slowly moved towards Harry while Sirius stood guard.
Sirius's eyes never stayed still as he searched for an intruder, for an intruder who would harm his godson and best friend.
Kneeling down on the floor, Remus noticed a sheet of paper in Harry's hands, a paper Harry was staring at intensely.
"Sirius," Remus said to get other's man attention. When Sirius looked, Remus nodded his head to the paper.
"What is it?" Sirius asks as he knelt down. His eyes narrowed as he glared at the paper that had entranced this godson.
"Don't know," Remus said as he reached out to take the paper only to have Sirius grab his hand.
"He's my godson. It's my job," he said as if that explained everything as he reached for the paper. "If anything happens to me, take Harry and run. Just get him out of here."
Carefully, Sirius pulled the paper out of his godson's hands. Straightening up, Sirius took a few steps away from Harry and Remus before turning the paper towards him so he could read it.
Sirius' eyes grew wide; his lips curled back in a snarl as he looked at the paper. With a shutter of revulsion, Sirius was able to force his hands to open, the paper innocently fluttered to the floor. He backed away from the paper; his body trembled from his narrow escape.
"Sirius?" Remus' voice raised a few octaves as he stood guard over Harry, his eyes riveted to the paper.
"Lega... Legalese," Sirius spat out as he made a warding sign against the paper.
Remus' shoulders slumped with relief as he shook his head at his friend's antics.
"Sirius..." he sighed, but that at that moment a soft moan came from behind Remus.
"Harry?" Sirius said as he dropped to his knees next to his godson, "Harry speak to me."
"What... What happened?" Harry asked in hazy voice as he ran his hand over his face as if trying to wipe away the fuzziness from his mind.
"The Curse of Legalese," Sirius stated his voice full of dread.
Harry blinked at his godfather in confusion as Remus rolled his eyes at his friend.
"It's what happens to people who try to read something written in the language of solicitor and legislator," Remus explained seeing Harry's confusion.
"I thought it was written in English," Harry said pitifully as he looked at all the boxes surrounding him with dread.
"It is and it isn't," Sirius said as if that explained everything as he settled back so he was leaning against a stack of boxes.
"What were you thinking? Didn't you realize how dangerous it could be?"
Harry bowed his head in shame.
"No," he squeaked in a small voice. "I didn't know it was dangerous."
"That is exactly what you father thought," Sirius snapped. "And if it wasn't for Remus and me finding him something dreadful would have happened to him."
"Wh... what would have happen?" Harry asked as he looked up at his godfather and adopted uncle his eyes wide with fear.
"He could have become..." Sirius's face scrunched up in disgust, "a barrister. There's nothing more diabolical than lawyers."
Remus snorted at Sirius's proclamation of death and destruction.
"What are you doing with all of this?" Remus asked as he waves at all the boxes and papers scattered around the living room.
"They're from the Potter vaults," Harry said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I was going over them."
"Why?" Remus asked as Sirius looked at his godson in confusion of why someone would willingly read legal documents.
"Why are you doing this instead of the solicitors?"
"They are," Harry said quickly. "It's just..."
"You don't want any more secrets," Remus said.
Harry nodded his head. "Too many people have keep secrets from me and I didn't want to find out about one I missed cause I didn't read over some fine print."
"They're not going to keep any secrets from you, Harry," Sirius pulled his godson over next to him.
"Dumbledore did," Harry countered, "he said it was for my safety."
Sirius stared at his godson for a moment before sighing wearily.
"Starting to sound like Moody," he mumbled. "Fine where do we start?"
"You're going to help?" Harry asked hopefully as he looked up at Sirius with soulful eyes.
"Of course we are," Sirius stated as he grabbed the collar of Remus's shirt as he tried to sneak out of the room. "After all, someone has to protect you from the curse."
Bad Author Notes: First off let me state this fic is a sequel to Potter's Revenge. I created this series before Book 5 so Sirius is alive. Don't like it... Don't read it.
The Curse of Legalese
By Lady FoxFire
November 24, 2004
The front door of number four Privet Drive opened and in bounded a huge black hound. The dog ran in circles around the foyer before transforming from an animal into a man with jet-black hair and hazel eyes.
"Lucy, I'm home," Sirius called out in his best Ricky Ricardo impersonation, which was without a doubt the worst in the world.
"I hate re-runs," Remus grumbled under his breath. Stepping over the threshold, Remus kicked the front door shut as he struggled with the bags of groceries in his hands. "For Merlin's sake, Sirius, give me a hand?"
"Left one or the right?" Sirius replied automatically as he listened for Harry's reply
"Lucy, I'm home," he calls out once again but only louder than before.
"Harry?" Sirius called out, his voice cracked, betraying his nervousness when Harry didn't call back in his famous Lucille Ball whine of 'Ricky!'
Setting the bags down on the floor, Remus pulled his wand out from where he had hidden it among his Muggle clothing. Glancing quickly over at Sirius, Remus confirmed that Sirius had his wand out and was willing to use it.
With a sharp nod of his head, Sirius moved towards the doorway that led into the living room. Acting as back up, Remus watched for anyone who could possibly be in the house with them, someone who might want to harm them and had possibly harmed Harry.
"Harry?" Sirius called softly as he peaked around the corner.
The furniture had been pushed back against the wall and a multitude of boxes had been stacked in it's place. Sitting motionless on the floor, surrounded by boxes, was Harry.
"Harry?" Remus said as he slowly moved towards Harry while Sirius stood guard.
Sirius's eyes never stayed still as he searched for an intruder, for an intruder who would harm his godson and best friend.
Kneeling down on the floor, Remus noticed a sheet of paper in Harry's hands, a paper Harry was staring at intensely.
"Sirius," Remus said to get other's man attention. When Sirius looked, Remus nodded his head to the paper.
"What is it?" Sirius asks as he knelt down. His eyes narrowed as he glared at the paper that had entranced this godson.
"Don't know," Remus said as he reached out to take the paper only to have Sirius grab his hand.
"He's my godson. It's my job," he said as if that explained everything as he reached for the paper. "If anything happens to me, take Harry and run. Just get him out of here."
Carefully, Sirius pulled the paper out of his godson's hands. Straightening up, Sirius took a few steps away from Harry and Remus before turning the paper towards him so he could read it.
Sirius' eyes grew wide; his lips curled back in a snarl as he looked at the paper. With a shutter of revulsion, Sirius was able to force his hands to open, the paper innocently fluttered to the floor. He backed away from the paper; his body trembled from his narrow escape.
"Sirius?" Remus' voice raised a few octaves as he stood guard over Harry, his eyes riveted to the paper.
"Lega... Legalese," Sirius spat out as he made a warding sign against the paper.
Remus' shoulders slumped with relief as he shook his head at his friend's antics.
"Sirius..." he sighed, but that at that moment a soft moan came from behind Remus.
"Harry?" Sirius said as he dropped to his knees next to his godson, "Harry speak to me."
"What... What happened?" Harry asked in hazy voice as he ran his hand over his face as if trying to wipe away the fuzziness from his mind.
"The Curse of Legalese," Sirius stated his voice full of dread.
Harry blinked at his godfather in confusion as Remus rolled his eyes at his friend.
"It's what happens to people who try to read something written in the language of solicitor and legislator," Remus explained seeing Harry's confusion.
"I thought it was written in English," Harry said pitifully as he looked at all the boxes surrounding him with dread.
"It is and it isn't," Sirius said as if that explained everything as he settled back so he was leaning against a stack of boxes.
"What were you thinking? Didn't you realize how dangerous it could be?"
Harry bowed his head in shame.
"No," he squeaked in a small voice. "I didn't know it was dangerous."
"That is exactly what you father thought," Sirius snapped. "And if it wasn't for Remus and me finding him something dreadful would have happened to him."
"Wh... what would have happen?" Harry asked as he looked up at his godfather and adopted uncle his eyes wide with fear.
"He could have become..." Sirius's face scrunched up in disgust, "a barrister. There's nothing more diabolical than lawyers."
Remus snorted at Sirius's proclamation of death and destruction.
"What are you doing with all of this?" Remus asked as he waves at all the boxes and papers scattered around the living room.
"They're from the Potter vaults," Harry said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I was going over them."
"Why?" Remus asked as Sirius looked at his godson in confusion of why someone would willingly read legal documents.
"Why are you doing this instead of the solicitors?"
"They are," Harry said quickly. "It's just..."
"You don't want any more secrets," Remus said.
Harry nodded his head. "Too many people have keep secrets from me and I didn't want to find out about one I missed cause I didn't read over some fine print."
"They're not going to keep any secrets from you, Harry," Sirius pulled his godson over next to him.
"Dumbledore did," Harry countered, "he said it was for my safety."
Sirius stared at his godson for a moment before sighing wearily.
"Starting to sound like Moody," he mumbled. "Fine where do we start?"
"You're going to help?" Harry asked hopefully as he looked up at Sirius with soulful eyes.
"Of course we are," Sirius stated as he grabbed the collar of Remus's shirt as he tried to sneak out of the room. "After all, someone has to protect you from the curse."
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