Categories > Games > Zelda > Le-Popo's Quest for the Creepy-Looking but Heart-Shaped Mask
Link's Quest to be Smexy Again
0 reviewsLe-Popo winds up in Termina and has to play through the game with Link, only because Popo is who she is, she manages to make it a lot more amusing. Rated PG-13 for swearing and mild sexual humor.
-1MarySue
LE-POPO'S QUEST FOR THE CREEPY-LOOKING BUT HEART-SHAPED MASK
a.k.a. a Majora's Mask Parody by le-Popo
Chapter 1: Link's Quest to be Smexy Again
Le-Popo decides it is time for her to write something again, mainly because she doesn't feel like writing her book report.
AUDIENCE: Oh great.
POPO: Heh, I enjoy watching you suffer.
Popo decides that to procrastinate, she will go take a walk in the woods.
POPO: Hey, look. Trees. Hey, look. Rocks. Hey, look. A bottomless pit.
AUDIENCE: What kind of woods are you walking in?
POPO: Hm. Deep, dark, and scary. What to do?
AUDIENCE: Jump in?
POPO: Jump in. Right.
Le-Popo jumps into the bottomless pit.
AUDIENCE: Heh, Sucker.
POPO: So you think you got rid of me, eh?
AUDIENCE: She's still here?!
POPO: I'm still falling- oh look! Pretty sparkly things!
AUDIENCE: Easily amused...
Le-Popo lands in a strange cave and finds a strange tree in the strange cave that is in the strange place at the bottom of the strange bottomless pit.
POPO: Aw, it's a sad tree..... Let's burn it!
AUDIENCE: Pyro much?
Popo burns the sad tree (Ha!) And continues on to find herself in a strange building in the strange place at the bottom of the strange-
AUDIENCE: SHUT UP!
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Hello, how may I rape you?
POPO: Uh, don't you mean 'help?'
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: No, I don't. Look at me. Don't I look like a pedophile to you? Don't I? DON'T I???
The happy mask salesman begins to violently shake Popo with a crazed expression on his face.
POPO: Well, I find it strange that your movement abruptly changes with absolutely no transition, and I think you have violent tendencies, but I wouldn't exactly call you a pedophile. Have you considered Prozac?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Who said anything about me being a pedophile? I need you to get my mask back!
POPO: OOOH! I know this game! I have to beat Majora, right?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: No, you have to get me my mask back....
POPO: Yeah, but I have to beat Majora to do that. You know, the mask starts flying around and then the other masks try to shoot you like it's a drive by....
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Ugh, you're hopeless. Here comes another kid, maybe he'll be more help.
DEKU LINK: I'm uglyyyyyy!
Link begins to cry and Tattl, smacks him.
TATTL: You. stfu. You look better like this anyway.
LINK: Nooo! The fangirls won't love me like this!
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: I can return you to your original form.
LINK: REALLY!? You can make me smexy again?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: No, I don't find you smexy, I'm no pedophile. But I can return you to your original form if you find the precious item that was taken from you.
LINK: Where am I supposed to find my dignity?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Not your dignity, fool! The Ocarina!
LINK: What ocarina?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: THE OCARINA OF TIME!!! Idiot.
TATTL: It's really no use talking to him, he is an idiot.
POPO: Hey, you're annoying. I don't like that.
Le-Popo pulls out a fly swatter and begins chasing Tattl.
AUDIENCE: Do you know how overused that joke is?
POPO: I don't care.
Popo swats Tattl and attempts to wipe her splattered guts on the Happy Mask Salesman.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Get that thing away from me!
POPO: Haha, it's a bug joke.
LINK: Hey! Who's supposed to help me get my original form back now??
POPO: I'll help you with that.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Great, so both idiots will go. Well I guess beggars can't be choosers.
POPO: So you're saying you're a hobo?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: No...
POPO: I'm a hobologist, you know. I study hobos.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: JUST GO!
So Popo and Link leave the clock tower and enter South Clock Town.
POPO: So. Let's go find those obnoxious brats.
LINK: What?
JIM: Hey, I'll give you the code if you can catch us. Bombers Secret Society of Justice Forever!
POPO: Those obnoxious brats.
LINK: Oh.
POPO: Okay, so this is how it goes down. You give me the code before I kill everybody here, got it?
JIM: So how exactly are you going to kill us all?
POPO: Hey, Mr. Moon?
MOON: Yes, master?
POPO: Kill these bitches.
MOON: Yes, master.
The moon begins to sink lower in the sky.
JIM: Alright, I'll tell you! The code is 2347485987324987 and five eighths!
POPO: Alright, you can stop now, Mr. Moon.
MOON: Yes, master.
LINK: So why does the creepy looking moon listen to you?
POPO: Uh, because I gave it some candy....
AUDIENCE: Because she's evil.
POPO: Shut up!
Popo and Link walk to the entrance of the Bombers' secret passageway and give the brat the code. They then walk into the Astral Observatory.
LINK: Oooooh, sparkly!
POPO: coughcoughgaypridecough
LINK: What was that?
POPO: Nothing.
UH... OBSERVATORY GUY... OR WHATEVER: Well here are a couple of faces I've never seen before. What brings you here?
LINK: I want to become smexy again. Other than that I have no idea what's going on.
POPO: Gimme the moon's tear. NOW!!
OBSERVATORY GUY: Well you can't get it until you look through my big fancy telescope here.
LINK: I wanna look! I wanna look!
Link looks into the telescope and sees Skull Kid, which triggers the cinema.
LINK: Hey! It's that scary kid who jacked my ride! And he's showing me his ass! Wait, WTH is that?!
The moon's tear falls, shaking the entire building.
POPO: MINE!
Le-Popo goes outside and grabs the moon's tear.
POPO: Alright Link, let's go.
LINK: Awww, but I was looking at the funny man in the tree.
POPO: NOW!
LINK: Fine....
Popo and Link make it back into Clock Town, and somehow, three days have managed to pass, and the moon is a lot closer.
LINK: So what are we supposed to do now?
POPO: We get on top of the clock tower to get your ocarina back. You can use this pretty flower here.
BUSINESS SCRUB: Hey, that would be mine, but I'll give it to you if you have a moon's tear.
The festival begins and the clock starts counting down from five minutes.
POPO: No time, now GTFO!
Popo kicks the business scrub off of the deku flower.
LINK: So why did we need to moon's tear again?
POPO: Because it's shiny. Now you get up there and I'll use this convenient ramp.
Link and le-Popo enter the clock tower and end up on top, where Skull Kid is.
TAEL: Swamp, Mountain, Ocean, Canyon! The four- hey, wait, where's Tattl?
POPO: She annoyed me, so I killed her.
SKULL KID: It doesn't matter, there's nothing anyone can do about this anyway.
The mask starts going insane and the moon comes closer at a faster rate.
LINK: WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!
POPO: Well you use your bubble attack, and- oh wait, we didn't go see the Great Fairy, did we?
Somewhere in Clock Town...
STRAY FAIRY: Idiots....
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
ROMANI: No, no, you're not supposed to be here yet.
That's not what Popo meant...
Well, meanwhile back at the clock tower...
LINK: YOU'RE SO STUPID!!
POPO: Well, I'll come up with something. Hmmm..... I've got it! Hey Skull Kid!
SKULL KID: What?
POPO: You're ugly!
SKULL KID: AM NOT! JUST BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF DEMENTED SCARECROW DOESN'T MEAN I'M ANY LESS BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU!
While Skull Kid rants, he drops the ocarina.
AUDIENCE: What was that supposed to be???
POPO: I'm just brilliant.
LINK: Hey! It's my ocarina!
POPO: Aaand, start flashback.
Everything goes black and white and Link, Zelda, and Epona appear. Link looks normal again.
LINK: It worked!
ZELDA: No, idiot, this is just a flashback, I'm here to teach you the Song of Time.
LINK: But I already know the Song of Time.
ZELDA: Well you have to learn it /again/. You have a poor memory and you forgot it, okay?
LINK: No, I remember it, you know, do dooo do, do dooo do, right?
ZELDA: No, shut up. This is my only appearance in the game and I don't need you making me look like an idiot.
LINK: Well, you are an idiot, don't you remember le-Popo's last parody?
ZELDA: JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME TEACH YOU THE SONG!
Zelda teaches Link the Song of Time /again/.
POPO: End flashback.
LINK: Noooo! I'm ugly again! That crazy man lied to me!
SKULL KID: Heh.
POPO: Well, play the song!
LINK: What?
POPO: Do you not see the moon coming closer? Play the song or we're all going to die!
LINK: Wait, can't you just tell the moon to stop again?
POPO: You're not supposed to notice that, just play the song!
LINK: Alrighty, then....
Link plays the Song of Time and he and Popo are transported back to the first day.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: So, you succeeded in getting back your precious item.
LINK: No, I still don't have my dignity.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN! But here, let me teach you a song. This song heals people's troubled souls and turns them into masks.
The Happy Mask Salesman Plays the Song of Healing on a huge organ that mysteriously pops up out of thin air. Link then repeats the song, and is returned to his original form. A mask falls to his feet.
LINK: YES!!
POPO: Try putting the mask on.
LINK: Okay.
Link puts on the Deku Mask and screams in pain as he is transformed back into his Deku form.
POPO: Yeah. Right. Happy masks.....
Link takes the mask off.
LINK: I am not doing that again.
NOT SO HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Well, I have now fulfilled my end of the deal, please return Majora's mask to me.
LINK/POPO: Mask?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: You did get my mask back didn't you?
POPO: Heh, about that....
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: You mean you didn't get my mask back.....
POPO: Correct!
The Happy Mask Salesman has some sort of electronic seizure.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!? I TOLD YOU THAT IF THE MASK IS NOT RETURNED DISASTER WILL BEFALL THIS WORLD!!!
LINK: Well, I don't care. I'm smexy again, so I'm going home.
Link walks to the door at the bottom of the clock tower but it refuses to open.
POPO: It won't open until you beat the game and get the Mask back.
LINK: Shit.
DOOR: Bitchslap!
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Well I'm sure the two of you can do it. You are both capable of great things, you will get my mask back.
AUDIENCE: Heh, yeah, right.
End Chapter 1
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Disclaimer: Le-Popo does not own Nintendo or any of it's characters, or any of the people/characters mentioned in this parody, but if she did, she'd be pretty darn rich >:D
**************************
Notes: Popo loves this game. Too much. But as with all things she loves, she has to make fun of it :D
Unlike the last parody, this one will have more than one chapter, and will eventually cover the whole game (so yes, lots and lots of spoilers) but of course, it will be funnier :D
A lot of this will not make sense if you haven't played the game.
Of course, if Popo is feeling lazy or is getting negative feedback, she will not complete the parody D: (because what's the point if people don't like it?)
**************************
a.k.a. a Majora's Mask Parody by le-Popo
Chapter 1: Link's Quest to be Smexy Again
Le-Popo decides it is time for her to write something again, mainly because she doesn't feel like writing her book report.
AUDIENCE: Oh great.
POPO: Heh, I enjoy watching you suffer.
Popo decides that to procrastinate, she will go take a walk in the woods.
POPO: Hey, look. Trees. Hey, look. Rocks. Hey, look. A bottomless pit.
AUDIENCE: What kind of woods are you walking in?
POPO: Hm. Deep, dark, and scary. What to do?
AUDIENCE: Jump in?
POPO: Jump in. Right.
Le-Popo jumps into the bottomless pit.
AUDIENCE: Heh, Sucker.
POPO: So you think you got rid of me, eh?
AUDIENCE: She's still here?!
POPO: I'm still falling- oh look! Pretty sparkly things!
AUDIENCE: Easily amused...
Le-Popo lands in a strange cave and finds a strange tree in the strange cave that is in the strange place at the bottom of the strange bottomless pit.
POPO: Aw, it's a sad tree..... Let's burn it!
AUDIENCE: Pyro much?
Popo burns the sad tree (Ha!) And continues on to find herself in a strange building in the strange place at the bottom of the strange-
AUDIENCE: SHUT UP!
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Hello, how may I rape you?
POPO: Uh, don't you mean 'help?'
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: No, I don't. Look at me. Don't I look like a pedophile to you? Don't I? DON'T I???
The happy mask salesman begins to violently shake Popo with a crazed expression on his face.
POPO: Well, I find it strange that your movement abruptly changes with absolutely no transition, and I think you have violent tendencies, but I wouldn't exactly call you a pedophile. Have you considered Prozac?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Who said anything about me being a pedophile? I need you to get my mask back!
POPO: OOOH! I know this game! I have to beat Majora, right?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: No, you have to get me my mask back....
POPO: Yeah, but I have to beat Majora to do that. You know, the mask starts flying around and then the other masks try to shoot you like it's a drive by....
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Ugh, you're hopeless. Here comes another kid, maybe he'll be more help.
DEKU LINK: I'm uglyyyyyy!
Link begins to cry and Tattl, smacks him.
TATTL: You. stfu. You look better like this anyway.
LINK: Nooo! The fangirls won't love me like this!
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: I can return you to your original form.
LINK: REALLY!? You can make me smexy again?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: No, I don't find you smexy, I'm no pedophile. But I can return you to your original form if you find the precious item that was taken from you.
LINK: Where am I supposed to find my dignity?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Not your dignity, fool! The Ocarina!
LINK: What ocarina?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: THE OCARINA OF TIME!!! Idiot.
TATTL: It's really no use talking to him, he is an idiot.
POPO: Hey, you're annoying. I don't like that.
Le-Popo pulls out a fly swatter and begins chasing Tattl.
AUDIENCE: Do you know how overused that joke is?
POPO: I don't care.
Popo swats Tattl and attempts to wipe her splattered guts on the Happy Mask Salesman.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Get that thing away from me!
POPO: Haha, it's a bug joke.
LINK: Hey! Who's supposed to help me get my original form back now??
POPO: I'll help you with that.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Great, so both idiots will go. Well I guess beggars can't be choosers.
POPO: So you're saying you're a hobo?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: No...
POPO: I'm a hobologist, you know. I study hobos.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: JUST GO!
So Popo and Link leave the clock tower and enter South Clock Town.
POPO: So. Let's go find those obnoxious brats.
LINK: What?
JIM: Hey, I'll give you the code if you can catch us. Bombers Secret Society of Justice Forever!
POPO: Those obnoxious brats.
LINK: Oh.
POPO: Okay, so this is how it goes down. You give me the code before I kill everybody here, got it?
JIM: So how exactly are you going to kill us all?
POPO: Hey, Mr. Moon?
MOON: Yes, master?
POPO: Kill these bitches.
MOON: Yes, master.
The moon begins to sink lower in the sky.
JIM: Alright, I'll tell you! The code is 2347485987324987 and five eighths!
POPO: Alright, you can stop now, Mr. Moon.
MOON: Yes, master.
LINK: So why does the creepy looking moon listen to you?
POPO: Uh, because I gave it some candy....
AUDIENCE: Because she's evil.
POPO: Shut up!
Popo and Link walk to the entrance of the Bombers' secret passageway and give the brat the code. They then walk into the Astral Observatory.
LINK: Oooooh, sparkly!
POPO: coughcoughgaypridecough
LINK: What was that?
POPO: Nothing.
UH... OBSERVATORY GUY... OR WHATEVER: Well here are a couple of faces I've never seen before. What brings you here?
LINK: I want to become smexy again. Other than that I have no idea what's going on.
POPO: Gimme the moon's tear. NOW!!
OBSERVATORY GUY: Well you can't get it until you look through my big fancy telescope here.
LINK: I wanna look! I wanna look!
Link looks into the telescope and sees Skull Kid, which triggers the cinema.
LINK: Hey! It's that scary kid who jacked my ride! And he's showing me his ass! Wait, WTH is that?!
The moon's tear falls, shaking the entire building.
POPO: MINE!
Le-Popo goes outside and grabs the moon's tear.
POPO: Alright Link, let's go.
LINK: Awww, but I was looking at the funny man in the tree.
POPO: NOW!
LINK: Fine....
Popo and Link make it back into Clock Town, and somehow, three days have managed to pass, and the moon is a lot closer.
LINK: So what are we supposed to do now?
POPO: We get on top of the clock tower to get your ocarina back. You can use this pretty flower here.
BUSINESS SCRUB: Hey, that would be mine, but I'll give it to you if you have a moon's tear.
The festival begins and the clock starts counting down from five minutes.
POPO: No time, now GTFO!
Popo kicks the business scrub off of the deku flower.
LINK: So why did we need to moon's tear again?
POPO: Because it's shiny. Now you get up there and I'll use this convenient ramp.
Link and le-Popo enter the clock tower and end up on top, where Skull Kid is.
TAEL: Swamp, Mountain, Ocean, Canyon! The four- hey, wait, where's Tattl?
POPO: She annoyed me, so I killed her.
SKULL KID: It doesn't matter, there's nothing anyone can do about this anyway.
The mask starts going insane and the moon comes closer at a faster rate.
LINK: WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!
POPO: Well you use your bubble attack, and- oh wait, we didn't go see the Great Fairy, did we?
Somewhere in Clock Town...
STRAY FAIRY: Idiots....
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
ROMANI: No, no, you're not supposed to be here yet.
That's not what Popo meant...
Well, meanwhile back at the clock tower...
LINK: YOU'RE SO STUPID!!
POPO: Well, I'll come up with something. Hmmm..... I've got it! Hey Skull Kid!
SKULL KID: What?
POPO: You're ugly!
SKULL KID: AM NOT! JUST BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF DEMENTED SCARECROW DOESN'T MEAN I'M ANY LESS BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU!
While Skull Kid rants, he drops the ocarina.
AUDIENCE: What was that supposed to be???
POPO: I'm just brilliant.
LINK: Hey! It's my ocarina!
POPO: Aaand, start flashback.
Everything goes black and white and Link, Zelda, and Epona appear. Link looks normal again.
LINK: It worked!
ZELDA: No, idiot, this is just a flashback, I'm here to teach you the Song of Time.
LINK: But I already know the Song of Time.
ZELDA: Well you have to learn it /again/. You have a poor memory and you forgot it, okay?
LINK: No, I remember it, you know, do dooo do, do dooo do, right?
ZELDA: No, shut up. This is my only appearance in the game and I don't need you making me look like an idiot.
LINK: Well, you are an idiot, don't you remember le-Popo's last parody?
ZELDA: JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME TEACH YOU THE SONG!
Zelda teaches Link the Song of Time /again/.
POPO: End flashback.
LINK: Noooo! I'm ugly again! That crazy man lied to me!
SKULL KID: Heh.
POPO: Well, play the song!
LINK: What?
POPO: Do you not see the moon coming closer? Play the song or we're all going to die!
LINK: Wait, can't you just tell the moon to stop again?
POPO: You're not supposed to notice that, just play the song!
LINK: Alrighty, then....
Link plays the Song of Time and he and Popo are transported back to the first day.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: So, you succeeded in getting back your precious item.
LINK: No, I still don't have my dignity.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN! But here, let me teach you a song. This song heals people's troubled souls and turns them into masks.
The Happy Mask Salesman Plays the Song of Healing on a huge organ that mysteriously pops up out of thin air. Link then repeats the song, and is returned to his original form. A mask falls to his feet.
LINK: YES!!
POPO: Try putting the mask on.
LINK: Okay.
Link puts on the Deku Mask and screams in pain as he is transformed back into his Deku form.
POPO: Yeah. Right. Happy masks.....
Link takes the mask off.
LINK: I am not doing that again.
NOT SO HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Well, I have now fulfilled my end of the deal, please return Majora's mask to me.
LINK/POPO: Mask?
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: You did get my mask back didn't you?
POPO: Heh, about that....
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: You mean you didn't get my mask back.....
POPO: Correct!
The Happy Mask Salesman has some sort of electronic seizure.
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!? I TOLD YOU THAT IF THE MASK IS NOT RETURNED DISASTER WILL BEFALL THIS WORLD!!!
LINK: Well, I don't care. I'm smexy again, so I'm going home.
Link walks to the door at the bottom of the clock tower but it refuses to open.
POPO: It won't open until you beat the game and get the Mask back.
LINK: Shit.
DOOR: Bitchslap!
HAPPY MASK SALESMAN: Well I'm sure the two of you can do it. You are both capable of great things, you will get my mask back.
AUDIENCE: Heh, yeah, right.
End Chapter 1
**************************
Disclaimer: Le-Popo does not own Nintendo or any of it's characters, or any of the people/characters mentioned in this parody, but if she did, she'd be pretty darn rich >:D
**************************
Notes: Popo loves this game. Too much. But as with all things she loves, she has to make fun of it :D
Unlike the last parody, this one will have more than one chapter, and will eventually cover the whole game (so yes, lots and lots of spoilers) but of course, it will be funnier :D
A lot of this will not make sense if you haven't played the game.
Of course, if Popo is feeling lazy or is getting negative feedback, she will not complete the parody D: (because what's the point if people don't like it?)
**************************
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