Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Love Will Tear Us Apart

Arizona Is So Five Years Ago...

by moocow 8 reviews

i love you patrick. :]

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Romance - Warnings: [!!] [?] - Published: 2006-10-16 - Updated: 2006-10-16 - 2021 words

0Unrated
Life as a human being is hard to sustain, as hard as it is for the dew to remain on the grass. But it is better to live a single day with honor than to live to 120 and die in disgrace. More valuable than treasures of the body and the treasures of the heart are the most valuable of them all.

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From Pete's eyes it was all just indescribable. Lexi stood on one side, standing next to Ethan who had his sunglasses on, covering his sad eyes, even for a woman he had never met. Pete stood at the foot of the closed casket as the priest spoke, the shiny black coffin shining in the bright pre-winter sun.

He took a deep breath in before looking over at his best friend, the man he knew to not deserve anything as devastating as this.

Sadie stood on his left, her expression knowing, and yet, her innocent eyes would forever being plagued with this day. She had not cried, and the only thing she would do or say would look up at her daddy and say in the softest voice that sounded so much like Heather's:

"Don't cry, daddy. Mommy wants you to be strong,"

It broke his heart.

Martin stood to his left, not really understanding as well as Sadie did about what exactly had happened to his mommy. But he kept quiet, knowing enough that silence was all Patrick needed at the moment.

Pete glanced back over to Lexi before his eyes danced curiously to Aloe who was leaning back against Joe who had his arms wrapped around her stomach, kissing her tears away as they silently fell.

He sighed, closing his eyes as the priest finished, the undertakers lowering the coffin and most people scattering, Lexi walking past him towards Patrick where she locked eyes with him before lowering herself to Sadie's level.

The little girl blinked at her, letting Lexi stand up with her on her hip. Pete's senses kicked in and he managed to walk over, picking Martin up and seeing Lexi bite her lip as she backed away for Patrick to be alone.

"Lexi..." Pete spoke up as they walked away and let Martin down, his legs running him into the field of the pre winter flowers. Sadie seemed to want to stay in Lexi's arms and rested her head on her shoulder, hiding her face.

"Yea?" she asked and Pete sighed, looking down at the ground.

"Are you going to be ok?" he asked softly and saw her place Sadie down on the ground, the little girl turning to hold her hand and bury her head into Lexi's leg, still fairly afraid of the world.

"Pete, I've learned so much about life these past years with everyone...with you," she paused and waited for him to look up at her.

"What's that?" he asked and saw out of the corner of his eye Patrick walking down the hill to meet them.

"It's to not take things for granted. Death is death, and you can't stop it," she paused and shook her head before sighing softly and looking down at Sadie. "I'm just so sick of crying all the time," she whispered. Patrick came up to her and nodded.

"I'm ready," he mumbled. Lexi smiled sympathetically and turned to Pete while Martin came up and ran into Patrick's arm, him picking him up and fastening him to his hip.

"I'll...see you around, Pete,"

Pete blinked, watching as the four walked down the other hill towards the cars parked on the side of the road. He stayed there under the tree and sighed, closing his eyes tightly.

He really didn't want her to say that again...

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Lexi yawned as she walked through Patrick's house, ready to go upstairs and sleep. Lexi was staying there for the sole purpose that at the moment, Patrick was incapable of raising Sadie and Martin. Ethan had flown back home after the funeral, but was returning at the end of the week to move in and help as well. Lexi was forever grateful for the help, she even was going to help pay for his college tuition after he graduated.

Lexi shook her head and continued to walk down the hall towards the guest room, slowing as she heard something from Patrick's room. Creasing her eyebrows together, she rested her ear on the door, hand poised over the door handle.

First there was the bed shifting, before a slight hiccup and a few sniffs.

Lexi felt a pang in her heart, not used to hearing Patrick in tears. She slowly entered and watched as he buried his head into the pillow, trying to hide his face. Lexi bit her lip and sat on the edge of the bed before pushing his hair away from his face and wiping some of the tears away.

"I...I never thought I'd feel so alone," he whimpered and Lexi nodded.

"Patrick...you'll always have your friends," Patrick sniffed, his breath hitching with more tears. The door creaked a little more and the two looked over to see a golden strand of hair sneaking into the room.

"Sadie?" Lexi asked and soon the little girl snuck in her little baby Clandestine pajamas, her hand tugging on another individual in a black version of the pajamas. "Martin..." Lexi smiled as the two walked over, their eyes curious.

Martin crawled into Lexi's arms, his head resting against her collarbone and quickly drifting asleep. Sadie opted to stand next to Patrick's head, using her small fingers to wipe his tears away.

"I love you daddy," Lexi pursed her lips together and looked down at Sadie.

"Sadie, you come to your room when you're done, ok?" Sadie nodded once and I stood to walk to the toddler's room down the hall.

Martin shifted a little as she placed him in his new twin bed adjacent to his sister's and fluttered his eyes open in the moonlit room.

"Auntie Lexi?" he asked and Lexi smiled, pushing hair away from his face.

"Yea?" she asked back and listened as he smiled. Sadie soon entered and walked over to her brother's bed and bit her lip lightly.

"Can I stay with you, Martin?" she asked in a soft voice.

Lexi blinked as her brother shifted over, pulling the blankets down and even offering her a hand up to lie next to her. Lexi had to stop her own tears as they hugged each other, staring up at her.

"Lexi?" Sadie called and she hummed.

"What is it?" she asked and the little Heather clone blinked slowly.

"Can you tell us a story?" she asked and Lexi smiled, nodding.

"I suppose," I paused and sighed, thinking back.

"Once upon a time there were four beautiful girls, masters of music...and that very night they rocked the stage they got a special visitor that would change their world forever,"

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Pete shifted his weight from foot to foot as he stood out front of Patrick's house, hesitant to ring the doorbell. When he did he heard a few hushed voices and was soon faced with Lexi who looked rather dressed up for it being only noon.

"Hey," was all he could muster and she sighed, leaning against the door.

"What do you need?" she asked and he looked down as Martin came into view, tugging on her skinny dark jeans. Lexi looked down and smiled.

"What is it, Martin?" she asked and Pete just stood there, feeling awkward.

"When is daddy coming home?" Pete bit his lip and looked over in the driveway to only see Lexi's car there. Lexi laughed, leaning down and picking the two and a half year old up, shaking her head.

"He'll be back in time for diner, ok?" Martin nodded and Lexi turned her attention back towards Pete. "You can come in, you know," she said.

Pete did just that, closing the door and shrugging off his grey hoodie, following her to the living room where Sadie was coloring, lying on her stomach, occasionally looking back up at the screen where Lexi had the season DVD's of Invader Zim playing.

Pete took a seat on the loveseat behind the little girl, his eyes leaving the TV for a moment to see Lexi placing Martin down next to his sister.

Pete blushed madly, ashamed that he had gotten a glance at her strapless black bra under her red breezy halter top. He gulped and shook his head as she came over and sat next to him, leaving a foot of space between them.

"What did you need?" she asked curiously and Pete shrugged, turning his gaze to watch the old cartoon. "Pete," Lexi persisted and Pete sighed through his nose, letting his head fall to look at his socks which in fact had stars on them.

He cursed them, Lexi seemed to haunt him even when it came to clothing.

"I don't know...it just seemed like a good thing at the time," he mumbled and turned his head to see Lexi looking down at Sadie who had stopped watching the TV and in fact had decided to crawl up into her lap to rest.

Pete watched as Lexi ran her fingers through Sadie's growing hair, remembering all the times she had done that to their own son and even him when they got sick or were tired. Pete let his lips form into a small frown, he missed her more then he had expected. Lexi looked up as Sadie's eyes fluttered closed and shook her head.

"You just won't let me go, will you?" Lexi asked and Pete shook his head.

"I've held on too long to let you go," he replied, watching as Lexi didn't say anything and shifted Sadie so she could stand with her.

"Martin, come on...it's time for a nap," Martin seemed as though he was going to protest, but shrugged, walking to hold her hand as she cradled a half asleep Sadie on her hip.

Pete followed aimlessly and out of curiosity stood in the doorway as Lexi put them into their respective beds, both kissing them on the foreheads.

"I'll wake you up when daddy comes home, ok?" she asked and Pete smiled, feeling that oh-so familiar tug at his heart, flashbacks smacking him in the face.

He soon found himself on the couch again, Lexi cleaning up the room and turning off the TV before sitting next to him and hugging a pillow close to her.

"Why do you do this to me, Pete?" she asked and he shrugged.

"Because I do, it's my habit, my nature," Lexi creased her eyebrows together.

"What, to tear my mind and heart to a million pieces?" Pete stayed silent for a while.

"I still love..." Lexi whipped her head at Pete and shook her head, cutting him off.

"Don't you say it," Pete sighed, looking down at his hands in his lap.

"You," he whispered and out of the corner of his eye saw Lexi turn her head, looking away.

"I think it's best if you go, Pete," she whispered.

Pete pursed his lips together and gulped before standing on his trembling legs and exiting the house wordlessly. Lexi took a deep breath from where she sat before leaning back and closing her eyes, her head hitting the back of the couch and something soft.

Turning her head she saw Pete's hoodie.

Her fingers curled around the material and she hugged it close as she shifted to lye on the couch, bringing her knees up slightly. Lexi closed her eyes and breathed in the lost and almost forgotten scent of Pete's cologne and cinnamon soap she knew was still resting in the shower back at their old house. Lexi sighed, opening her eyes for a brief second and parted her lips.

"Desperation runs thin in this heart...thick in yours...but desperation is a disease...and I've caught it,"

Lexi closed her eyes again and shook her head into the couch cushion, the hoodie still close to her neck and chest.

She had just quoted herself.
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