Categories > Books > Cirque du Freak > Daddy's Little Freak

Daddy Darren

by MangaMistress 1 review

Does your dad hate you? Does he call you a freak because of what you can do? Does your dad beat you? MIne does.

Category: Cirque du Freak - Rating: R - Genres: Angst - Characters: Darren Shan - Published: 2006-10-22 - Updated: 2006-10-22 - 1988 words


Daddy's Little Freak


I found her crying all alone in her tent. Nightmares torture this poor kid every night like some sort of disease and on each of those nights, Mr Tall would be there to try and make her feel her better. I always thought he accomplished that, until tonight.

Mr Tall was in the middle of a late show, so Sarah had only herself to hold. That's also how I found her, withdrawn into a tiny ball and weeping into her knees trying to muffle the noise.

"It's ok Sarah. You're safe now" I barely had a clue what I was doing. I was only copying what Mr Tall does every night, but this doesn't feel very fulfilling. Are a couple of hugs and 'you're ok's' supposed to be enough? It didn't feel that way. All I could feel was a crying kid in my arms.

Is this how Mr Tall feels? Useless? Or am I doing a something wrong?

My instincts were telling me other wise. Mr Tall may be something supernatural, but I doubt he can make someone like Sarah feel better from only doing this. But, what can I do that Mr Tall hasn't been able to?

So I just held her and whispered empty words.

I was startled when she suddenly spoke. Her voice was jumpy and course from all the crying but, I managed to her say; "Can...we sit... the tree Darren?

I never expected it and felt it kind of a weird request, but none the less, we went to the tree. The same spot where we sort of made our first connection and hopefully where we can make new ones.


The fact that Sarah seemed strong for her age was only made clearer. She barley required my help in climbing up; all she needed was a boost to get to the first branch. Maybe the Cirque has found itself a strongest girl in the world act.

Once we reached the top we had a clear view of everything surrounding us. The sky was clear with the large moon illuminating everything in a white glow. The cool fresh air was welcoming and the smell of the nearby farmer's cut grass was like heaven to me.

When I glanced over to Sarah, I felt my heart sink again. I was hoping she would at least smile while up here. It isn't right for a kid to be this miserable. It made me wonder if Sarah had ever smiled before I'd met her? Sarah turned her head towards mine (keeping her eyes away as usual)

"Why I scared so much, Darren?" She squeaked.

"I...don't know, Sarah," Her lips pouted and fresh tears were gathering in the corner of her eyes. She brought a hand up in an attempt to hold them back.

"Why I always cry? I don't like it. No-body else 'round here cry"

"Well, you've had more to deal with" Oh god what the hell am I supposed to say. I'm not equipped for this! I don't know the full story of what Sarah's been through; although, I knew it was far from happy families.

Seeing Sarah on the brink of tears again was making me panic. I darted my eyes in all directions in a desperate search for something to change the subject.

Come on. Come on! Something! Anything! BINGO!

"Hey Sarah" I said with a bit of over enthusiasm. "Ever been swimming before?"


We were camped near a lake-not a particularly large one but large enough for what I had in mind.

I guess I sort of knew Sarah had never been swimming before and I half expected her to ask what swimming even was.

After finding an old T-shirt for Sarah and a pair of trunks for myself we headed for the lake. Sarah seemed eager-from what I could tell-to see what swimming was and when I looked down I could see the faint line of a smile looking back up at me.

I dived straight into the water excited myself since the last time I went 'swimming' was at my trails. The water was nippy but it warmed up quickly. When I asked Sarah to join me she just looked confused. /Charna's guts! Forgot already/.

"It's ok Sarah. Just do what I do" And she did. One big leap right from the spot just as I did, heading straight for the water. I caught her as she landed realising being in deep water for the first would scare her. She flapped her arms around and squealed a bit, but she settled down quickly enough. That's step one taken care of. (Or leap)

"Come on. I'll show you how to swim" I remembered how Dad taught Annie and me how to swim. I held Sarah's hands and told to kick her feet so she could get used to the water. Then, I held my hands under her tummy while she would try to swim using both her hands and legs. She caught on really quickly. She could move about freely and easily without my help in no time. She soon discovered the fun in splashing too and I soon felt like I was taking the water maze trial all over again. It was great hearing her laugh so much and I had a feeling that it was first in long while.

After a while Sarah looked pretty tired and the water wasn't getting any warmer. I grabbed one of the big towels and carried Sarah back to dry her off.

She was really fascinated with small fire I lit up. She gawped at the tiny sparks flying form the flat rocks I struck together. I wonder if I was ever like that? Completely intrigued by any little thing. I sat with my legs in a basket for Sarah to sit in so I could dry her. She didn't really seem to mind that she was half naked. I guess she hasn't developed a concept of embarrassment yet. For a while we just sat staring at the fire with me still holding Sarah in my lap.

"Darren?" she said.


2Why could you have not been my Daddy?"

"What?" I asked, caught off guard.

"You look like my Daddy but, he not nice like you. How come he's my Daddy and not you? You much better that a really Daddy"

May the gods of the vampires save us from honest children

I bit hard on my lip to hold back the lump forming in my throat. Those few words were having me on the verge of tears. I blinked them back hoping Sarah hadn't seen them and cleared my throat as best I could.

"I...I don't know Sarah. But, thanks" I couldn't think of anything to say. What could I say? This was so sudden and unexpected. What had she been put through to make her that /I /was her dad?

"Darren?" Oh-no, what now?

"Yeah?" I said warily.

"You won't never go away will you?" Oh lord what now? Say no? But that wouldn't be true. The war of the scars is still inaction and I might have to leave any day now. Say yes? Then I'd be crushing the only signs of spirit I'd ever seen in her.

"I, might have to go at some point Sarah. But, that doesn't mean I'll be gone. It''s like your mummy; she might be here with you but, you still remember her, right? Which means she's not really gone. It'll be the same with me"

There was a brief pause where I realised what I said maybe wasn't all that encouraging.

"Hey Sarah? I don't much about being a dad but I know how to be a brother"

A brother?"

"Brother's can be better than dad's. You can share stuff with each other that you wouldn't want to tell anyone else. And brothers are easier to talk to when you're in trouble. Plus, brother's are way more fun" I stopped myself from rambling on more. How the hell is this helping? Although, when I caught sight of a wide smile my heart jumped. The smile quickly disappeared but only into my chest where Sarah buried her face in. Her small arms wrapped around my waist.

"I'd like a big brother" she mumbled

After a while I felt Sarah's breathe lingering. She fell asleep in that position. I adjusted myself carefully so her head was resting on my arm. I held her tiny hand in mine, feeling totally lost in the moment.

"Well, this is cute" The sudden voice caught me by surprise. When I looked up I saw Mr Crepsley leaning against the tree, arms folded and that scar length smirk I've always despised.

"Um...hey...what are you doing here? Isn't there a show on?" Mr Crepsley sat down next to me.

"My part is finished. So I decided to keep you company since everyone is busy with the show. It seems Sarah beat me though" There was another short silence while Mr Crepsley threw some of the branches I'd collected onto the fire.

"That was very kind of you Darren"

"Well I couldn't exactly leave her to cry all alone in the dark now could I?" I knew he referring to what just happened but I was deliberately trying to avoid it.

"Actually Darren, you could have. Many here would. Some would check to make sure she was not hurt and just left her for Hibernius to deal with"

"Why? She's only a kid" I exclaimed

"You have experienced how she is after nightmares, Darren. She frightens others. Even the adults"

I groaned. I wanted to beat the crap out of anyone who would leave a kid to cry all alone. But, Mr Crepsley did have a point.

"Why do I feel this way Mr Crepsley? Why did I say and do all that? It's not like I had to or anything"

"Because you know what it is like Darren, to lose your whole family. You may not realise this at first but you want to be her family because she never had one to begin with"

I couldn't believe it; yet, I knew it was all true. I laughed a little at the realisation of it all. Mr Crepsley patted my shoulder.

"You are very lucky Darren"


"Vampires do not exactly have the chance or choice to have a family again," I thought about that for a moment. I really missed being a brother. Looking at Sarah made me think of Annie and how much I missed her. Sarah was nothing like Annie but I felt the same need to watch out for her in the same way.

"What did he do Mr Crepsley?"

"Excuse me?"

"Her dad. What did he do to make her this way?" I was starting to let curiosity get the better of me. Sarah's past wasn't mine to question, but maybe I help more if I know more.

"I do not think you need to know Darren. It is not something I would enjoy telling"

"Please" I begged, "I know MR Tall trusted you enough to tell you what's she's been through. So can't you trust me enough to do the same?"

"Fine" The guilt trip technique. One of Annie's specialities. "She was going to die Darren. By her father's hands"

That, I never expected and I kind of wished I'd never asked.

If it weren't for Mr Tall she'd have died horribly and no-one even knew she existed"

"How did he find her?"

"Even he is not entirely sure but it is not necessary. All that matters is that she has a big brother to look for her now"

I've noticed how most of my chpater seem to end in oneliners. Does that get annoying? Please review. They keep me going, so if you want to read more you need to review.
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