FicWad

I ran my hand through my messy hair and continued pacing back in forth. I sighed, plopped down in my chair, and groaned.
"Why don't you just make up some excuse?" Adam offered from his cubicle.
I glared at him, "I don't want to hurt his feelings again!"
"So just go meet him," Adam hopped over the cubicle wall and sat down on my desk. He picked up my bass and started playing random songs.
"You don't get it do you!" I stared at the ceiling. How am I going to explain this to him? Well, it's either Adam or Miranda, and Miranda isn't here right now.
Adam rolled his eyes, "I'm a guy; I'm not supposed to 'get' these types of things. Your bass is way out of tune."
I glared at him again, "Way to change the topic."
Adam shrugged, "I was just letting you know. Why aren't you in a band?"
"Where did that come from?" I was exasperated. I'll never understand guys.
"Oh come on Rory, you and I both know that you play good," Adam said.
I bit my lip and ran my fingers through my hair again, "Can you focus here for just a moment? You know, friends are supposed to help friends."
"Hey, Miranda is the one with all the help," Adam shrugged.
"And she's not here right now!" I stood up and started pacing again.
Zack stopped by the cubicle, "Are you two done with all of your articles?" Both Adam and I nodded our heads, and Zack continued on his way.
Adam pulled his hood up over his head, "Stop pacing! You're making me nervous."
I glared at him, "I'll stop pacing if you start helping!"
"OK, it's a deal," Adam pulled his hood down again and looked intently at me.
I sighed and plopped back down in my chair, "What am I going to do?"
"Well, the way I see it, you have three options. Ready?" Adam waited until I nodded. "Option number one: suck it up and go see him. Option number two: stand him up and don't go. Option number three: make up an excuse and don't go."
I sighed. There's no easy way to do this is there? "What would you do?"
Adam cocked his head and thought for a moment, "Well...I would just suck it up and go. But of course, I don't have terminal shyness." He smiled at me.
"Oh, that helps a lot," I rolled my eyes.
Now it was Adam's turn to sigh, "Rory, friend to friend here, I don't know why you're so shy. It's not my business, and I'll probably find out when the time is right. But you're a great person. And you should just try jumping off the cliff for once."
"Just do it," I mumbled to myself.
Adam smiled, "Sometimes you can't think about these things." He paused, "I read this quote once. It went something like: 'Love annoys me. It disregards all logic, then refuses to tell me why.'"
I glared at him, "Who said anything about love?"
Adam started laughing, "I will never understand you Rory."

I paced back and forth in my room. I wish that I was at Graphic Noise. But I had finished all of my articles for the next issue yesterday, and there was no reason for me to go in today. Miranda was my last hope for support, but she had to work today. I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I flipped it open and read the text message from Pete:

I'm free if you want to go do something.

I bit my lip as I read the message. Unsure of what to do, I closed my cell phone and fell backwards onto my bed. The conversation I had with Adam flashed through my mind. Sometimes you just can't think about these things...just do it...I don't know. I was still trying to hide the fact that I sort of did like Pete. OK, maybe more than sort of. I guess that's why I got mad at Adam yesterday when he told me that quote.
My cell phone vibrated again in my hand. I stared at it for a moment. /Who am I kidding? I can't do this.../I left my cell phone on the bed and grabbed a hoodie. It was sprinkling outside, but I didn't care.
I left the apartment complex and started walking down the street. The air smelled like rain. It had stopped sprinkling now, but it was chilly out. A million thoughts flooded my head. I passed a man walking his dog and a group of kids splashing around in the puddles. I walked by a venue getting ready for a punk show tonight. I passed the gas station. I walked by a homeless man and petting a stray cat. Finally, I snapped out of my thoughts and checked my watch. I had been walking for almost an hour. Turning around, I began to head back to my apartment.
I was almost to the apartment complex, when it started pouring. It was around 2:30 when I got back inside, soaking wet. I went into my bedroom to grab some dry clothes. My gaze landed on my cell phone. I'm not picking it up. I thought firmly, and then went to take a shower.
I managed to stay away from my cell phone all day. Well, until around 8 o'clock. I was sitting by my laptop, listening to UnderRated music on their website, when a Dance, Dance ringer cut through. I paused the music and stared hesitantly at my cell phone. I was just about to pick it up, when the ringing stopped. I sighed and waited for about a minute, then picked up the cell phone. I checked my text messages first. I had four, spaced throughout the day:

Are you there?

Just give me a call when you can.

Can you call me when you get this?

I'll call you later.

I sighed and opened up the new voice mail. It was Pete:

"Hi, um, this is Pete. I was just wondering what happened. I hope you're OK. Give me a call sometime. Bye."

I closed my eyes. I'm such a loser. Pete didn't sound mad. He sounded sad, and a little disappointed. I opened my eyes and sent Pete a text message:

I'm so sorry.