FicWad

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just want to give big bonus points to FrostedGlass, pixied secrets, duckapple, whatkatydid, imogen993, and sannemannetje for reviewing. Thanks to everyone!!!

After that night, I decided to totally delete Pete from my life. Actually, it wasn't that hard to not talk to him. I just signed off IM when he signed on, and I didn't go on IM when I normally would. Getting the thoughts of him out of my mind was harder, if not impossible. I just sort of forced myself to be more social with the people around me.
And it worked. I did better in interviews and I talked to people a lot more at work. Miranda and I were avid UnderRated fans, and we went to their gigs every Friday and Saturday night. Between the concerts, work, and my new friends, I didn't really have a lot of time to think about Pete.
Until tonight.
Miranda and I were back stage talking to Adam and the other guys in UnderRated. Suddenly, a Dance, Dance ringtone cut into our conversation. Thoughts of Pete flashed across my mind, and the guilty feeling crept into my stomach. I have got to get another ringtone.
"Whose cell is that?" Adam asked.
"Mine, I'll get it," I opened my bag and dug my cell phone out. I flipped it open and looked at the number that popped up. I've never seen that number before...
"Are you gonna just let that thing ring or what?" Miranda asked.
I showed her my cell phone, "Have you ever seen this number before?"
Miranda shook her head, "Maybe it's the wrong number?"
"Yeah, probably," I closed my cell phone, put it on vibrate, and stuck it in my pocket.
Five minutes later, UnderRated was getting ready to go on and I felt my cell phone vibrate. I took it out of my pocket and flipped it open. I had a new text message.

Please answer this. Pete

"I guess we know who called you," Miranda, who had been looking over my shoulder, said.
"Was it the FBI?" Adam joked.
"No, it was Pete Wentz," Miranda said before I could open my mouth.
"Whoa! You mean The Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy called you?" Charlie, UnderRated's drummer shouted.
I blushed a little, "Uh yeah..."
"You're on!" the stage manager yelled to Adam.
"Are you two gonna join the crowd? We're going to need our biggest fans tonight," Adam said.
Miranda nodded, but I shook my head, "I'm just gonna go out into the lobby." Miranda gave me a concerned look, but I smiled feebly and walked away.
The lobby was still packed with people waiting to get into the venue, so I backtracked and went out the back exit door. I sat down on a bench in the alley behind the venue under a streetlight and opened my cell phone up.

How did you get my number?

About two minutes later, the reply came.

I called Graphic Noise and Zack gave it to me.

That ticked me off. Zack can't just give away my number like that! I was going to have to tell him on Monday. I got another text message from Pete.

I haven't talked to you in a while. It seems like you've been avoiding me. Everything OK?

I could picture his worried face in my head, and I almost kicked myself. By now, I was feeling really guilty and like a total loser.

I've just been really busy.

I hated lying to Pete. I bit my lip. Is this what I've reduced myself to? Lying to people who are actually concerned about me?

Oh, OK. Just checking.

I could tell he wasn't convinced, but I really didn't know what to say next. I didn't want to lie to him again, but I also didn't want to owe up to my feelings. Not yet. And that only made me feel guiltier.

Can you be on IM later?

I sucked in a deep breath. I didn't really want to, but I felt like I owed him for being such a loser.

Sure, I'm at an UnderRated show now, but I'll be on later. Give me 3 hours.

OK.

And with his simple response, I closed my cell phone and headed back into the venue.


Later that night, I sat down in front of my laptop and signed on IM. I didn't really want to talk to Pete, but then again I did. I was still hiding from myself, but I did owe it to him. I was a little surprised to find that he was already signed on, and I wanted to kick myself and hide in a hole at the same time. I hadn't even been signed on for ten seconds before I got a message from Pete.

PeterPan: i almost thought you weren't going to be on

I bit my lip. I could hear the wryness of his voice in my head.

MusicforLife: miranda was driving and she wanted to stay a little later and listen to the other bands playing
PeterPan: i'm sure they have public transportation in cleveland

I was a little surprised at how harsh Pete was being. But he does have the right to be ticked off at me. But I'm not a little kid, I can make my own decisions. Here again I was torn between two contrasting emotions and unsure of what to say. I stared worriedly at the computer screen, scared to say anything and worried that anything I'd say would turn out with the wrong meaning.

PeterPan: i'm sorry, i didn't mean to be that harsh

I ran my fingers through my hair. Great, now he's blaming his self for my stupidity. Jeez, just say something to him!

PeterPan: are you ok?

I gulped and closed my eyes. His concerned face popped into my head.

MusicforLife: i'm ok
MusicforLife: i'm sorry
PeterPan: for what?

I finally just cracked.

MusicforLife: for hiding, for being a loser, for ignoring you when all you were trying to do was help, for being an idiot, for not understanding myself

There was a pause. I closed my eyes tightly. Perfect, now he probably thinks I'm just looking for pity, that I'm being sappy. I opened my eyes and looked at the screen.

PeterPan: don't worry about it, we all do stupid things that we regret deeply, i myself have done it way too much
MusicforLife: i'm sorry for cracking like that, i'm not looking for pity or anything
PeterPan: don't worry, i know you're not the type of person who wants a pity party
MusicforLife: i've just really been beating myself up over ignoring you
PeterPan: do i really have to say don't worry again?
MusicforLife: i think you just did
PeterPan: oh, yeah

I smiled for the first time all night. I could just picture Pete laughing as he realized that he said: "don't worry" again. It made me feel a whole lot better.

PeterPan: guess what?
MusicforLife: what?
PeterPan: no, guess something
MusicforLife: i'm not good at guessing games
PeterPan: oh come, just guess something
MusicforLife: ok
MusicforLife: umm...joe just stuck a pretzel up his nose?
PeterPan: no, but he did do that earlier today
PeterPan: ok, i'll just tell you because you're guess made me crack up
MusicforLife: i'm glad i can make someone laugh
PeterPan: we're playing a gig in cleveland next saturday!
MusicforLife: i've known that for about five months
PeterPan: but that's not all
MusicforLife: this sounds like a tv commercial
PeterPan: we'll be in cleveland sometime late thursday night, and we have friday off
PeterPan: so, do you want to hang out and do something friday?
MusicforLife: sure
PeterPan: ok, i'll call you on friday
MusicforLife: ok
PeterPan: gotta go
MusicforLife: bye

It wasn't until after Pete signed off that it hit me what I just got myself into. Oh no...