Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Devotion
Chapter 13: Days
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"Just go to sleep. Yuu can't sleep unless it's dark."
Kakashi decided that now wasn't the time for any humorous antics. He wished that Sakura were there with him...some laughter over dinner before a night of passion in the woods...a scene right out of Volume XV...
As he extinguished the lights he realized that that wasn't the only reason he missed her. He missed her smile, and her voice...her presence, in general. He'd only been with her for one or two weeks, and he already depended on her so much that it hurt.
With that thought in mind, he clutched his book to his chest and went to sleep.
----
For Sakura, the days...and then weeks...passed slowly. Things were generic and boring...she hadn't continued her work at the hospital yet, and stayed inside most of the time in order to avoid Sasuke. It seemed like he was everywhere she went...at her favorite restaurants, the hospital, Tsunade's office...it was very unnerving, and she liked to stay home because of it.
Of course, the house was full of ghosts as well...granted, ghosts of a different kind, but ghosts all the same. The memories of her mother and father haunted every room, every corner, and this time there was no calm and collected ninja to console her. She missed her parents so much...she'd thought often of how her mother would've comforted her after she was raped, how they would've had to convince her father not to go after the culprit and that they would have been there for her as they brought Sasuke to justice.
Then again...she wouldn't be with Kakashi if her parents had still been alive. She supposed that everything had happened for a reason.
Sakura stared at the cup of coffee on the table, picking it up to see that only half of it gone although she'd been awake for hours now. "I'm wasting my time here," she said to herself, putting the cup back down on the table and shaking her head. The house was like a voluntary prison, where she kept herself in order to avoid Sasuke. She spoke again, just to break the silence. "I could be training or...or something. Come on, Sakura. You should get out of the house and stop reading all the time. You don't want to be a big glutton when Kakashi gets back." Her hand drifted to her stomach and she sighed. "Of course...I guess getting a bit rounder can't be avoided."
She stood up and ran a hand through her hair, finding it to be clumped up and oily. "Bleeeeh...a shower would probably do some good..."
The shower squeaked when she turned it on, and steam filled the room quickly. She breathed it in, smiling and looking around, a feeling of peace surrounding her.
A figure suddenly flitted across the mirror and she gasped, startled, looking around again to see who was there. "Hello?" she said loudly, her voice echoing against the tile. No...nobody was there. She had to admit that she'd been paranoid since what had happened...but...
She'd been sure that someone was there.
----
Kakashi was bored.
The trio had been completely silent for the majority of their trip, Seiko speaking only to order the copy nin around and Yuu not talking at all. It was a big change from Team Seven, especially when they were younger, and most of the other missions he'd gone on without his team had been with ANBU, where travel was swift and silent, or on his own. This trip was slow, and completely boring. The two young people with him conversed shortly between themselves, and never showed any interest in talking to him.
They had finally reached their destination, after two weeks of slow, slow walking, that seemed to be on the edge of the region. Seiko and Yuu would disappear for the day, leaving Kakashi to go about his own business. They told him not to show himself to any of the villagers, unless he was in disguise, so he'd been running around with a fake beard and an eye patch. In his opinion it seemed like a brilliant disguise...and he complimented himself for it, although the mustache did little to hide the distinctive scar running down the side of his face.
However...he was starting to feel uneasy about this village. He'd never been here before, although he'd traveled mostly everywhere around Konoha...never passed through or even seen it. There were no vendors or artists in the streets, no busy people in the marketplace. Kakashi was convinced that there should've been something there, at least...but the village was empty.
Hushed conferences were going on that Seiko and Yuu were taking part in. He still had no idea who the siblings could be, and what they were doing in this small, quiet village. Maybe everyone in the village was at those conferences with them...?
No. He wasn't supposed to question. So he would kill the curiosity and wait to get back to Sakura.
A person walked across the street a little further down and he raised an eyebrow, walking towards them and calling out. However, they didn't stop, and, being as bored as he was, Kakashi decided to follow.
He stealthily followed the cloaked figure down another empty street and then through a network of small houses and empty, deserted stores. He supposed that they must be reaching the edge of the village, and he soon discovered that his idea had been correct; a dense forest was ahead of them now, and the stranger ran right into the dim light, not even glancing behind them to see if anyone, like Kakashi, was trailing behind.
Kakashi had nothing better do; he went in after the guy.
----
Sakura had gotten the idea in her head that she would learn to read and fight at the same time...an idea that didn't really have any use other than some senseless fun, but would get her out of the house and get her mind off of things that worried her. It actually made her feel closer to Kakashi; the trait was one she figured she could pick up from him.
It was early in the afternoon when she left home. The streets were full of people, shinobi and villager alike, and she thanked Kami that she didn't see Sasuke or Ino anywhere nearby. Sasuke, of course, she wouldn't want to see, but Ino had been a particular nuisance for the past few weeks, because Sakura had been staying inside...and she was so nosy that she just had to know why. The two young women considered themselves friends now, but they had never really regained the sense of unity that they'd had as small children; not to mention Ino was a complete gossip. Sakura dreaded eventually having to tell her friend about her pregnancy.
How was she going to explain it all anyway? Nobody but she, Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, Tsunade, Kakashi, and herself knew that Sasuke had raped her, and the poor Uchiha certainly didn't need to be hated anymore. True, a few took pity on him for all the terrible things he'd been through and tried to understand why he'd sided with Orochimaru, but most of the villagers still avoided him if it all possible. And Sakura knew that if anyone found out he had violated her, he would be despised by everyone, even the people that didn't know her. The best course of action would be to marry him...but that was completely out of the question. As soon as Kakashi came back, he was going to settle down with her...and she would never have to do anything she didn't want to ever again.
When she got just slightly out of the village and to her favorite training spot in the middle of a few trees, she jumped up onto a limb and, resting her back against the trunk, took out the book to read a few pages before the fun started.
She was shocked to find the first major sex scene in the first chapter; on the first page, nonetheless. A brave, dashing warrior's character was introduced in just a few sentences before he took the lovely princess (who he was rescuing) into the forest to rescue her. It was there that she pounced on him, unable to contain herself any longer, and he, feeling the same, took her in the forest, "the lush grass their unlikely pillow".
Sakura soon learned that no place was "an unlikely pillow" in this novel. Her training forgotten, she read farther into the book, unable to tear her eyes away from the scandalous pages.
No wonder the copy nin had such experience in bed...it was because he was reading this all the time.
After a while she began to see herself in the place of the buxom heroine, Kakashi her dashing prince. Icha Icha was beginning to put some very foreign thoughts into her head...and she planned on acting them out as soon as her soon-to-be husband got back.
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Sasuke hadn't had anymore dreams or hallucinations since the last one in the mirror, and he didn't want to admit the likely reason for it: he hadn't seen Sakura in more than two weeks. He had to say that she really stressed him...that every time she made him angry something primal and possessive tried to take hold of him. He'd become sure that it wasn't Orochimaru, but that it was a part of himself. The Hokage hadn't been able to find anything wrong with the seal, and neither had Sakura when she'd last checked.
He had to get a handle on this before it was too late.
Even though he'd been back for a few weeks now, he still got a lot of glares from the people of Konoha, and it stopped him from feeling like he was a part of the community. True, he hadn't felt like he was a part of any community since his parents were killed - maybe excusing Team Seven - but for some reason he suddenly wanted to belong. It seemed like there was no purpose to life; his parents were avenged and he had escaped Orochimaru.
"Hey, Sasuke!"
Sasuke winced before reluctantly turning on his heel to face Ino. The busty blonde pushed her way through a couple clusters of people, a smile on her face, as she walked towards him.
"Yes, Ino...?" he said, continuing to walk.
She fell into step beside him, dropping the smile. "Well, I have to tell you that I...I have a sinking suspicion that Sakura and...and her ex-sensei are together!"
Sasuke almost rolled his eyes, though he respected the girl for somehow figuring it out. He just couldn't escape the inevitable truth no matter how hard he tried... "Why would you think that?" he drawled.
Ino's eyes bulged out of her head, her mouth dropping. "So they are?!"
He turned and gripped her shoulders, glaring at her. "Look, I'm not saying anything. And I would suggest that you don't run your mouth to your friends, otherwise you'll be in deep shit with not only me, but Sakura, Naruto, the famous copy nin, and the Hokage."
They kept walking and she sighed before speaking again. "Sasuke, I -" She put a hand on his shoulder, abruptly turning him towards her and surprising him with her behavior. "I know you're still in love with Sakura. I've come to terms with that. But I can help you...she may not want you, but I do."
Without thinking, he violently took her wrist and hastily pulled her towards him, close enough to whisper in her ear.
"Do you think I'm that desperate?"
She gasped, her eyes wide and flitting around to see if anyone in the crowd would help her. Ino was suddenly very afraid.
"You think I'm desperate enough to sleep with a whore like you?"
"Sasuke...I..."
He roughly pushed her away, turning on his heel and walking into the forest.
----
Eliana looked so peaceful sleeping as the rogue crept through the brush, his eyes wandering over her curvaceous figure. As he drew nearer she awoke from her slumber, her pouting lips parting in a gasp, which he covered with a kiss.
Sakura shivered in anticipation, turning to the next page hastily. She'd never thought the book would be so...well, romantic. Every time she'd seen Kakashi reading those novels she'd thought he was some kind of pervert...and she had to admit that this particular volume had a lot of sex...but it wasn't perverted, it was romantic.
She looked up only briefly as she was turning the page, and something caught her eye...someone that she didn't want to see, especially there.
"What are you doing here?"
Sasuke looked up from the edge of the clearing, a genuine look of surprise on his face that Sakura chose to ignore. "I was going to train. I didn't know you were here."
She jumped out of the tree, an uneasy feeling creeping into her stomach although she kept a brave face. Just his appearance scared her...and at the same time stirred something in her that she thought had completely disappeared when he'd violated her. "Sure, you just showed up at the exact same place even though Konoha is surrounded by miles of places to train..."
He cast his eyes down, frowning. "Sakura, this is where we trained as children. I had no idea you would be here."
"Oh, OK. I'll leave."
The book was in her pocket and she was about to walk away when he spoke again, his voice clear and louder than before. "Sakura, why don't you believe me when I say I would never hurt you?"
She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Hmm...I wonder why..."
His voice was tense and unsteady when he replied. "I wasn't in control."
Her green eyes flared as she turned around, her hair twirling around her. "That's no excuse. You should expect me to be afraid...you...you raped me! And I know you hear it from everyone but it seems like it hasn't sunk in yet! I can not trust you!"
"I wish you could forgive me... I can't stop loving you."
The boy from her past was back for just a moment; and she couldn't help but feel those emotions that she'd felt for him when they were children once again. "Maybe...maybe with time."
Sakura had to get out of there.
After a hasty escape from the confusion of the clearing, she went home and slid into bed, pulling off the different pouches she always had strapped to her legs and hips. Sleep overtook her quickly...and she dreamed.
----
She was standing in a glass house...a greenhouse maybe. Plants surrounded her, in beautiful, expensive pottery and exotic vases. Her stomach swelled with pregnancy as she sat down, looking around peacefully.
A little boy with inky black hair ran up to her holding some kind of a toy ball in his hand, bouncing it around happily. He had a mischievous smile on his face as he walked up to her, the ball closed in his hand.
"Good morning mommy," he said, grinning at her.
Sakura looked down at him, smiling half-heartedly. "What...what are you talking about?"
"Daddy wanted me to tell you he's home. He just has to put away his coat and then he's gonna' come sit with us!" The little boy giggled before turning around and bouncing his ball in the other direction.
Sakura watched him in confusion before hot breath brushed against her ear, startling her.
"I'm back."
She turned to see Sasuke standing there...and, strangely enough, she didn't panic. This just seemed so right. "Uh...hi..." she said, smiling as he kissed her lightly. His mouth was warm and welcoming, and, high on this strange dream, she deepened the kiss, reaching a hand around to tangle in his black hair.
A giggle broke them apart and they both looked back at the child with the toy grasped in his hand. "Daddy!' the little boy said happily, running to Sasuke and flinging his arms around his knees.
"Hey kid...what've you got there?"
"It's a gift for Mommy," the child whispered, and then walked around to stand in front of Sakura. She smiled at him.
"What is it honey?"
"Well...it's for you." He opened his palm and her vision suddenly blurred, making it seem like a red and white swirl of color. "Take it."
She put out her hand and he dropped it in. It was warm and wet, slipping around and almost falling through her fingers. Her vision cleared...
And she was looking right through the glass and into the face of the man she'd been missing so much.
The dream had suddenly changed. Sasuke was gone and her swollen stomach had flattened; Kakashi stood in front of her; the child was looking back and forth between them...and she still grasped the object in her hand. When she looked down, she realized that it was a Sharingan eye...an eye that was missing from the copy ninja's face.
"What's happened to you?" she asked him, her eyes widening as she walked towards him. He was bleeding from his closed, empty eye socket, and his knees buckled - he was falling. She brushed his hair back from his face, avoiding the bleeding eye socket. "Kakashi...come on, wake up!" She leaned over and kissed his brow, beginning to panic. "Please..." The child stood watching, and Sakura felt a moment of confusion, not wanting the baby she knew was hers to be like this...but where could he go, when there was nothing around them, no father for him to turn to? "Honey, you need to go..."
He was frowning at her, tears springing into his eyes. "That man isn't my daddy...why are you kissing someone other than daddy..."
How was she supposed to explain to her baby?
When she woke up, the thought wouldn't stop bothering her. Not only was it going to be hard to explain to the rest of the village...but also to her baby. Who was more important to her? Her lover or her baby; her own flesh and blood? Was there even a choice to be made?
Sasuke could be that man in her dream, if she'd just accept him into her life. It would be so easy to go to him and make amends...try and learn to love him in Kakashi's absence. But she didn't think she could bear it if Kakashi got back only to see that she had given up on him and had gone to be with somebody else. She was in love with him...and she cursed herself for changing her mind so easily when he'd only been gone for a couple of weeks.
And what had the bleeding and the eye been about? Why had he been unconscious...dead, even? Maybe it was just her anxiety about his mission...she tried to convince herself that that was the reason. Not being able to contact him for so long had left her feeling nervous about his absence, and it could have easily pushed that dream into her mind.
But now...now it seemed like she was given a choice. She could either live with Kakashi, the man she loved, and deal with the criticism of everyone around her...or she could go to Sasuke and learn to love him, going off of the feelings she'd harbored for him as a child and for all the years he'd been gone.
No; there shouldn't have been a choice. She would wait for Kakashi, no matter what.
----
The news came three days later.
A messenger came from outside of the village, and was let into Konoha late in the afternoon, after everyone had already gone inside to have their dinner. The Hokage was waiting to meet with this messenger in her office; Sakura was sipping coffee alone in her house, absorbed in Icha Icha: Volume II; Sasuke was sulking at home.
The silent ninja that had walked into the village as the sun set met with the Hokage in a very secretive meeting...those who were around the office could barely even hear a sound until he left.
When that finally happened, the Hokage's assistant walked into the office to see that the powerful, strong woman...was crying.
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"I heard you wanted to see me?" Sakura asked, sitting down at Tsunade's desk with a smile. She was in a good mood that day; the time was drawing closer to when Kakashi would be home. The Hokage, however, didn't return the smile.
"How are you, Sakura?"
"I'm doing really well, actually," she said, "I know that Kakashi's getting back soon and I'll be able to start going out again without trying to avoid Sasuke..."
"About that," Tsunade said, cutting her off and wishing she could just send the girl away and forget it all. But that would have been impossible. "His trip has been...extended."
Sakura frowned. "What? For how long? It can't be more than a few days-"
"Sakura, I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this - I wish that nobody had to tell you this at all - but...
"Kakashi's been killed."
Silence hung in the room; everything seemed to freeze. Sakura gaped at Tsunade before a grim smile came across her face.
"You...you've got to be kidding me...no...he...he couldn't..."
"They found his body, Sakura."
A strangled sob tumbled from her lips and two large tears fell onto the desk. "It's not true...it can't...it can't be true...he's...he's been through more than this before...this was just supposed to be simple...he's coming back...damn it, he's coming back..."
"I don't know what I can do but tell you how sorry I am...he was a fine warrior..."
"Fuck, no!" Sakura said, scrambling out of her chair and hanging her head so that her hair would hide her face. "It's not true...please just tell me this is some kind of a joke..."
----
Sakura scrambled for some kind of solace in her mind, trying to deny it. He'd been with her, warm and alive, just a few weeks ago. And where was he now? He was going to come waltzing in sometime, she was sure, and he'd just be scolded for worrying everyone so much and it would be just like always. Because he put his life on the line all the time...and always came out of it.
It was becoming harder and harder to breathe in as much air as she needed, and things started to spot out. Hell, anywhere would be better than this place, where people she trusted told her things that she didn't want to hear.
Maybe she would hit her head on something and never wake up again...maybe...
Because she needed him more than she'd ever realized before.
----
"Is she going to be okay..."
"I'm sure she'll be fine. She's just blacked out for a while. She'll come to soon."
"I don't want to have to tell her."
"Can't believe something like this could happen...he was the copy ninja!"
"Unbelievable..."
Sakura didn't want to open her eyes, because she knew who was in the room...who was leaning against the doorframe watching from afar, because they wouldn't let him inside.
Naruto was by her bedside, for sure. Hinata was probably there too, and Tsunade as well. Sasuke would be watching over her from outside, his eyes filled with concern.
But there was no dark man in the corner this time.
When she finally showed them that she was awake, nobody seemed to want to look at her. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the tears coming again.
"Sakura...you're finally awake. Do you..."
"Yeah, I remember," she said hoarsely, her voice rough and her throat tight.
She didn't want to remember. She didn't want to have to deal with it. Why now?
But she realized...she would have missed him so much at any time. She had depended on him ever since she was just a kid, struggling to measure up to her teammates...and now he was gone. He was something constant, something that had never disappeared. How was she going to go on living without him? She wished she could die. And who would stop her? Nobody.
An uneasy feeling crept into her stomach, stopping those thoughts immediately.
She had to keep going...for her baby...if Kakashi was there or not.
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A/N: I know you all seriously hate me right now...and writing this actually made me cry.
Now PLEASE KEEP READING. If you just CAN'T KEEP ON GOING WITH THIS FIC if Kakashi is dead, I want you to private message me and I'll tell you what happens...but I will tell you that nobody will be disappointed with the end of this story.
It was really tough writing this, but things are in motion now and it's about to get really, REALLY good, I assure you.
All review replies will be made personally, because my internet's about to turn off, but I just wanted to say PLEASE DON'T HATE ME and PLEASE KEEP READING and PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE REVIEW!
So sorry about all this. : (
--Kat
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"Just go to sleep. Yuu can't sleep unless it's dark."
Kakashi decided that now wasn't the time for any humorous antics. He wished that Sakura were there with him...some laughter over dinner before a night of passion in the woods...a scene right out of Volume XV...
As he extinguished the lights he realized that that wasn't the only reason he missed her. He missed her smile, and her voice...her presence, in general. He'd only been with her for one or two weeks, and he already depended on her so much that it hurt.
With that thought in mind, he clutched his book to his chest and went to sleep.
----
For Sakura, the days...and then weeks...passed slowly. Things were generic and boring...she hadn't continued her work at the hospital yet, and stayed inside most of the time in order to avoid Sasuke. It seemed like he was everywhere she went...at her favorite restaurants, the hospital, Tsunade's office...it was very unnerving, and she liked to stay home because of it.
Of course, the house was full of ghosts as well...granted, ghosts of a different kind, but ghosts all the same. The memories of her mother and father haunted every room, every corner, and this time there was no calm and collected ninja to console her. She missed her parents so much...she'd thought often of how her mother would've comforted her after she was raped, how they would've had to convince her father not to go after the culprit and that they would have been there for her as they brought Sasuke to justice.
Then again...she wouldn't be with Kakashi if her parents had still been alive. She supposed that everything had happened for a reason.
Sakura stared at the cup of coffee on the table, picking it up to see that only half of it gone although she'd been awake for hours now. "I'm wasting my time here," she said to herself, putting the cup back down on the table and shaking her head. The house was like a voluntary prison, where she kept herself in order to avoid Sasuke. She spoke again, just to break the silence. "I could be training or...or something. Come on, Sakura. You should get out of the house and stop reading all the time. You don't want to be a big glutton when Kakashi gets back." Her hand drifted to her stomach and she sighed. "Of course...I guess getting a bit rounder can't be avoided."
She stood up and ran a hand through her hair, finding it to be clumped up and oily. "Bleeeeh...a shower would probably do some good..."
The shower squeaked when she turned it on, and steam filled the room quickly. She breathed it in, smiling and looking around, a feeling of peace surrounding her.
A figure suddenly flitted across the mirror and she gasped, startled, looking around again to see who was there. "Hello?" she said loudly, her voice echoing against the tile. No...nobody was there. She had to admit that she'd been paranoid since what had happened...but...
She'd been sure that someone was there.
----
Kakashi was bored.
The trio had been completely silent for the majority of their trip, Seiko speaking only to order the copy nin around and Yuu not talking at all. It was a big change from Team Seven, especially when they were younger, and most of the other missions he'd gone on without his team had been with ANBU, where travel was swift and silent, or on his own. This trip was slow, and completely boring. The two young people with him conversed shortly between themselves, and never showed any interest in talking to him.
They had finally reached their destination, after two weeks of slow, slow walking, that seemed to be on the edge of the region. Seiko and Yuu would disappear for the day, leaving Kakashi to go about his own business. They told him not to show himself to any of the villagers, unless he was in disguise, so he'd been running around with a fake beard and an eye patch. In his opinion it seemed like a brilliant disguise...and he complimented himself for it, although the mustache did little to hide the distinctive scar running down the side of his face.
However...he was starting to feel uneasy about this village. He'd never been here before, although he'd traveled mostly everywhere around Konoha...never passed through or even seen it. There were no vendors or artists in the streets, no busy people in the marketplace. Kakashi was convinced that there should've been something there, at least...but the village was empty.
Hushed conferences were going on that Seiko and Yuu were taking part in. He still had no idea who the siblings could be, and what they were doing in this small, quiet village. Maybe everyone in the village was at those conferences with them...?
No. He wasn't supposed to question. So he would kill the curiosity and wait to get back to Sakura.
A person walked across the street a little further down and he raised an eyebrow, walking towards them and calling out. However, they didn't stop, and, being as bored as he was, Kakashi decided to follow.
He stealthily followed the cloaked figure down another empty street and then through a network of small houses and empty, deserted stores. He supposed that they must be reaching the edge of the village, and he soon discovered that his idea had been correct; a dense forest was ahead of them now, and the stranger ran right into the dim light, not even glancing behind them to see if anyone, like Kakashi, was trailing behind.
Kakashi had nothing better do; he went in after the guy.
----
Sakura had gotten the idea in her head that she would learn to read and fight at the same time...an idea that didn't really have any use other than some senseless fun, but would get her out of the house and get her mind off of things that worried her. It actually made her feel closer to Kakashi; the trait was one she figured she could pick up from him.
It was early in the afternoon when she left home. The streets were full of people, shinobi and villager alike, and she thanked Kami that she didn't see Sasuke or Ino anywhere nearby. Sasuke, of course, she wouldn't want to see, but Ino had been a particular nuisance for the past few weeks, because Sakura had been staying inside...and she was so nosy that she just had to know why. The two young women considered themselves friends now, but they had never really regained the sense of unity that they'd had as small children; not to mention Ino was a complete gossip. Sakura dreaded eventually having to tell her friend about her pregnancy.
How was she going to explain it all anyway? Nobody but she, Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, Tsunade, Kakashi, and herself knew that Sasuke had raped her, and the poor Uchiha certainly didn't need to be hated anymore. True, a few took pity on him for all the terrible things he'd been through and tried to understand why he'd sided with Orochimaru, but most of the villagers still avoided him if it all possible. And Sakura knew that if anyone found out he had violated her, he would be despised by everyone, even the people that didn't know her. The best course of action would be to marry him...but that was completely out of the question. As soon as Kakashi came back, he was going to settle down with her...and she would never have to do anything she didn't want to ever again.
When she got just slightly out of the village and to her favorite training spot in the middle of a few trees, she jumped up onto a limb and, resting her back against the trunk, took out the book to read a few pages before the fun started.
She was shocked to find the first major sex scene in the first chapter; on the first page, nonetheless. A brave, dashing warrior's character was introduced in just a few sentences before he took the lovely princess (who he was rescuing) into the forest to rescue her. It was there that she pounced on him, unable to contain herself any longer, and he, feeling the same, took her in the forest, "the lush grass their unlikely pillow".
Sakura soon learned that no place was "an unlikely pillow" in this novel. Her training forgotten, she read farther into the book, unable to tear her eyes away from the scandalous pages.
No wonder the copy nin had such experience in bed...it was because he was reading this all the time.
After a while she began to see herself in the place of the buxom heroine, Kakashi her dashing prince. Icha Icha was beginning to put some very foreign thoughts into her head...and she planned on acting them out as soon as her soon-to-be husband got back.
----
Sasuke hadn't had anymore dreams or hallucinations since the last one in the mirror, and he didn't want to admit the likely reason for it: he hadn't seen Sakura in more than two weeks. He had to say that she really stressed him...that every time she made him angry something primal and possessive tried to take hold of him. He'd become sure that it wasn't Orochimaru, but that it was a part of himself. The Hokage hadn't been able to find anything wrong with the seal, and neither had Sakura when she'd last checked.
He had to get a handle on this before it was too late.
Even though he'd been back for a few weeks now, he still got a lot of glares from the people of Konoha, and it stopped him from feeling like he was a part of the community. True, he hadn't felt like he was a part of any community since his parents were killed - maybe excusing Team Seven - but for some reason he suddenly wanted to belong. It seemed like there was no purpose to life; his parents were avenged and he had escaped Orochimaru.
"Hey, Sasuke!"
Sasuke winced before reluctantly turning on his heel to face Ino. The busty blonde pushed her way through a couple clusters of people, a smile on her face, as she walked towards him.
"Yes, Ino...?" he said, continuing to walk.
She fell into step beside him, dropping the smile. "Well, I have to tell you that I...I have a sinking suspicion that Sakura and...and her ex-sensei are together!"
Sasuke almost rolled his eyes, though he respected the girl for somehow figuring it out. He just couldn't escape the inevitable truth no matter how hard he tried... "Why would you think that?" he drawled.
Ino's eyes bulged out of her head, her mouth dropping. "So they are?!"
He turned and gripped her shoulders, glaring at her. "Look, I'm not saying anything. And I would suggest that you don't run your mouth to your friends, otherwise you'll be in deep shit with not only me, but Sakura, Naruto, the famous copy nin, and the Hokage."
They kept walking and she sighed before speaking again. "Sasuke, I -" She put a hand on his shoulder, abruptly turning him towards her and surprising him with her behavior. "I know you're still in love with Sakura. I've come to terms with that. But I can help you...she may not want you, but I do."
Without thinking, he violently took her wrist and hastily pulled her towards him, close enough to whisper in her ear.
"Do you think I'm that desperate?"
She gasped, her eyes wide and flitting around to see if anyone in the crowd would help her. Ino was suddenly very afraid.
"You think I'm desperate enough to sleep with a whore like you?"
"Sasuke...I..."
He roughly pushed her away, turning on his heel and walking into the forest.
----
Eliana looked so peaceful sleeping as the rogue crept through the brush, his eyes wandering over her curvaceous figure. As he drew nearer she awoke from her slumber, her pouting lips parting in a gasp, which he covered with a kiss.
Sakura shivered in anticipation, turning to the next page hastily. She'd never thought the book would be so...well, romantic. Every time she'd seen Kakashi reading those novels she'd thought he was some kind of pervert...and she had to admit that this particular volume had a lot of sex...but it wasn't perverted, it was romantic.
She looked up only briefly as she was turning the page, and something caught her eye...someone that she didn't want to see, especially there.
"What are you doing here?"
Sasuke looked up from the edge of the clearing, a genuine look of surprise on his face that Sakura chose to ignore. "I was going to train. I didn't know you were here."
She jumped out of the tree, an uneasy feeling creeping into her stomach although she kept a brave face. Just his appearance scared her...and at the same time stirred something in her that she thought had completely disappeared when he'd violated her. "Sure, you just showed up at the exact same place even though Konoha is surrounded by miles of places to train..."
He cast his eyes down, frowning. "Sakura, this is where we trained as children. I had no idea you would be here."
"Oh, OK. I'll leave."
The book was in her pocket and she was about to walk away when he spoke again, his voice clear and louder than before. "Sakura, why don't you believe me when I say I would never hurt you?"
She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Hmm...I wonder why..."
His voice was tense and unsteady when he replied. "I wasn't in control."
Her green eyes flared as she turned around, her hair twirling around her. "That's no excuse. You should expect me to be afraid...you...you raped me! And I know you hear it from everyone but it seems like it hasn't sunk in yet! I can not trust you!"
"I wish you could forgive me... I can't stop loving you."
The boy from her past was back for just a moment; and she couldn't help but feel those emotions that she'd felt for him when they were children once again. "Maybe...maybe with time."
Sakura had to get out of there.
After a hasty escape from the confusion of the clearing, she went home and slid into bed, pulling off the different pouches she always had strapped to her legs and hips. Sleep overtook her quickly...and she dreamed.
----
She was standing in a glass house...a greenhouse maybe. Plants surrounded her, in beautiful, expensive pottery and exotic vases. Her stomach swelled with pregnancy as she sat down, looking around peacefully.
A little boy with inky black hair ran up to her holding some kind of a toy ball in his hand, bouncing it around happily. He had a mischievous smile on his face as he walked up to her, the ball closed in his hand.
"Good morning mommy," he said, grinning at her.
Sakura looked down at him, smiling half-heartedly. "What...what are you talking about?"
"Daddy wanted me to tell you he's home. He just has to put away his coat and then he's gonna' come sit with us!" The little boy giggled before turning around and bouncing his ball in the other direction.
Sakura watched him in confusion before hot breath brushed against her ear, startling her.
"I'm back."
She turned to see Sasuke standing there...and, strangely enough, she didn't panic. This just seemed so right. "Uh...hi..." she said, smiling as he kissed her lightly. His mouth was warm and welcoming, and, high on this strange dream, she deepened the kiss, reaching a hand around to tangle in his black hair.
A giggle broke them apart and they both looked back at the child with the toy grasped in his hand. "Daddy!' the little boy said happily, running to Sasuke and flinging his arms around his knees.
"Hey kid...what've you got there?"
"It's a gift for Mommy," the child whispered, and then walked around to stand in front of Sakura. She smiled at him.
"What is it honey?"
"Well...it's for you." He opened his palm and her vision suddenly blurred, making it seem like a red and white swirl of color. "Take it."
She put out her hand and he dropped it in. It was warm and wet, slipping around and almost falling through her fingers. Her vision cleared...
And she was looking right through the glass and into the face of the man she'd been missing so much.
The dream had suddenly changed. Sasuke was gone and her swollen stomach had flattened; Kakashi stood in front of her; the child was looking back and forth between them...and she still grasped the object in her hand. When she looked down, she realized that it was a Sharingan eye...an eye that was missing from the copy ninja's face.
"What's happened to you?" she asked him, her eyes widening as she walked towards him. He was bleeding from his closed, empty eye socket, and his knees buckled - he was falling. She brushed his hair back from his face, avoiding the bleeding eye socket. "Kakashi...come on, wake up!" She leaned over and kissed his brow, beginning to panic. "Please..." The child stood watching, and Sakura felt a moment of confusion, not wanting the baby she knew was hers to be like this...but where could he go, when there was nothing around them, no father for him to turn to? "Honey, you need to go..."
He was frowning at her, tears springing into his eyes. "That man isn't my daddy...why are you kissing someone other than daddy..."
How was she supposed to explain to her baby?
When she woke up, the thought wouldn't stop bothering her. Not only was it going to be hard to explain to the rest of the village...but also to her baby. Who was more important to her? Her lover or her baby; her own flesh and blood? Was there even a choice to be made?
Sasuke could be that man in her dream, if she'd just accept him into her life. It would be so easy to go to him and make amends...try and learn to love him in Kakashi's absence. But she didn't think she could bear it if Kakashi got back only to see that she had given up on him and had gone to be with somebody else. She was in love with him...and she cursed herself for changing her mind so easily when he'd only been gone for a couple of weeks.
And what had the bleeding and the eye been about? Why had he been unconscious...dead, even? Maybe it was just her anxiety about his mission...she tried to convince herself that that was the reason. Not being able to contact him for so long had left her feeling nervous about his absence, and it could have easily pushed that dream into her mind.
But now...now it seemed like she was given a choice. She could either live with Kakashi, the man she loved, and deal with the criticism of everyone around her...or she could go to Sasuke and learn to love him, going off of the feelings she'd harbored for him as a child and for all the years he'd been gone.
No; there shouldn't have been a choice. She would wait for Kakashi, no matter what.
----
The news came three days later.
A messenger came from outside of the village, and was let into Konoha late in the afternoon, after everyone had already gone inside to have their dinner. The Hokage was waiting to meet with this messenger in her office; Sakura was sipping coffee alone in her house, absorbed in Icha Icha: Volume II; Sasuke was sulking at home.
The silent ninja that had walked into the village as the sun set met with the Hokage in a very secretive meeting...those who were around the office could barely even hear a sound until he left.
When that finally happened, the Hokage's assistant walked into the office to see that the powerful, strong woman...was crying.
----
"I heard you wanted to see me?" Sakura asked, sitting down at Tsunade's desk with a smile. She was in a good mood that day; the time was drawing closer to when Kakashi would be home. The Hokage, however, didn't return the smile.
"How are you, Sakura?"
"I'm doing really well, actually," she said, "I know that Kakashi's getting back soon and I'll be able to start going out again without trying to avoid Sasuke..."
"About that," Tsunade said, cutting her off and wishing she could just send the girl away and forget it all. But that would have been impossible. "His trip has been...extended."
Sakura frowned. "What? For how long? It can't be more than a few days-"
"Sakura, I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this - I wish that nobody had to tell you this at all - but...
"Kakashi's been killed."
Silence hung in the room; everything seemed to freeze. Sakura gaped at Tsunade before a grim smile came across her face.
"You...you've got to be kidding me...no...he...he couldn't..."
"They found his body, Sakura."
A strangled sob tumbled from her lips and two large tears fell onto the desk. "It's not true...it can't...it can't be true...he's...he's been through more than this before...this was just supposed to be simple...he's coming back...damn it, he's coming back..."
"I don't know what I can do but tell you how sorry I am...he was a fine warrior..."
"Fuck, no!" Sakura said, scrambling out of her chair and hanging her head so that her hair would hide her face. "It's not true...please just tell me this is some kind of a joke..."
----
Sakura scrambled for some kind of solace in her mind, trying to deny it. He'd been with her, warm and alive, just a few weeks ago. And where was he now? He was going to come waltzing in sometime, she was sure, and he'd just be scolded for worrying everyone so much and it would be just like always. Because he put his life on the line all the time...and always came out of it.
It was becoming harder and harder to breathe in as much air as she needed, and things started to spot out. Hell, anywhere would be better than this place, where people she trusted told her things that she didn't want to hear.
Maybe she would hit her head on something and never wake up again...maybe...
Because she needed him more than she'd ever realized before.
----
"Is she going to be okay..."
"I'm sure she'll be fine. She's just blacked out for a while. She'll come to soon."
"I don't want to have to tell her."
"Can't believe something like this could happen...he was the copy ninja!"
"Unbelievable..."
Sakura didn't want to open her eyes, because she knew who was in the room...who was leaning against the doorframe watching from afar, because they wouldn't let him inside.
Naruto was by her bedside, for sure. Hinata was probably there too, and Tsunade as well. Sasuke would be watching over her from outside, his eyes filled with concern.
But there was no dark man in the corner this time.
When she finally showed them that she was awake, nobody seemed to want to look at her. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the tears coming again.
"Sakura...you're finally awake. Do you..."
"Yeah, I remember," she said hoarsely, her voice rough and her throat tight.
She didn't want to remember. She didn't want to have to deal with it. Why now?
But she realized...she would have missed him so much at any time. She had depended on him ever since she was just a kid, struggling to measure up to her teammates...and now he was gone. He was something constant, something that had never disappeared. How was she going to go on living without him? She wished she could die. And who would stop her? Nobody.
An uneasy feeling crept into her stomach, stopping those thoughts immediately.
She had to keep going...for her baby...if Kakashi was there or not.
----
A/N: I know you all seriously hate me right now...and writing this actually made me cry.
Now PLEASE KEEP READING. If you just CAN'T KEEP ON GOING WITH THIS FIC if Kakashi is dead, I want you to private message me and I'll tell you what happens...but I will tell you that nobody will be disappointed with the end of this story.
It was really tough writing this, but things are in motion now and it's about to get really, REALLY good, I assure you.
All review replies will be made personally, because my internet's about to turn off, but I just wanted to say PLEASE DON'T HATE ME and PLEASE KEEP READING and PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE REVIEW!
So sorry about all this. : (
--Kat
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