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I remember when loose lips sank ships...

"Hey Pete," Andy said as Pete came into the garage looking exhausted. Patrick, Joe and I looked up from playing Mario Kart to see him plop down on the couch.

"Tired?" Joe asked pushing pause on the game.

"Kind of," he said trying to avoid any prying questions.

Pete had just returned from an appointment with his psychiatrist. It's been about two months since he finally agreed to go see someone about his problems. Unfortunately this wasn't an easy task. He first had to talk to his mother about what had happened. This resulted in the third World War at the Wentz home. His mother of course didn't believe him and told him that he was just trying to start drama and turn all the attention on him. She did feel Pete needed help, but not for the true reasons. Either way, she got him in to see a therapist.

Pete saw a psychiatrist once a month and his therapist every other week. Now Pete was taking medication to help with his anxiety, which was the reason for his extreme mood swings. However, now his mood just seems to be down and out all the time. He was told that this would occur when he first started taking this medication, but it just seems as though he hasn't been able to pop out of this low mood that he was in.

I was very proud of him for getting the help that he needed. I knew that this was going to change things, but I couldn't help but long for the old Pete. Things were going ok for us. Since he was in such a down mood all the time we rarely went out and had fun anymore. Pete hasn't gotten too physical with me since he started the medication. He hasn't really shown any form of emotion since he started the medication. It was slightly disheartening.

Patrick has been like a rock for me through all of this. I told Pete I was going to be there for him and that was no lie. We were going to get through this together, but in order for me to get through this without upsetting Pete I decided to tell Patrick everything. I told him everything from my past as well as from Pete's past. Pete had told Patrick that he was seeing a therapist and that he was on medication, but he left it at that. He never told him the whole truth. I just prayed everyday that Pete would never find out that I told Patrick everything. I truly felt that would be the one thing that would break us forever.

"Well, should we practice?" Andy asked after a long silence from the group.

The boys had been getting quite a name for themselves out in the local scene. Instead of playing at college parties they had started playing in some underground clubs and had gotten a regular fan base. It was fun to watch them. That seemed to be the only time I saw Pete happy, was when he was on stage performing.

-----

"So how did it go today?" I asked Pete as we walked up the driveway towards my house.

I took a deep breath. It was the end of March and the sun was becoming more powerful everyday making each day closer and closer to spring.

"I'm still not sure why I have to keep going to a psychiatrist. He annoys me," Pete grumbled. "I'd rather just talk to my therapist."

"Pete, you know you need to have someone monitor your medication. You could get into big trouble with that stuff," I said unlocking my door.

"But my medication is fine, other than the fact that I'm tired twenty-four-seven," he said falling dramatically onto my couch.

"Well, did you tell him that?" I asked.

"No," he grumbled.

"How the hell is he supposed to help you if you don't tell him what's wrong?" I asked standing with my hands on my hips. Pete didn't answer me he just stared at the blank TV screen.

"Maybe your dose is too high and that is why you are tired all the time," I said offering suggestions. Again he gave no response, just that blank stare.

"Just try talking to him?" I asked sitting down next to him.

"Fine," he mumbled quietly.

------

I sat in the local coffee shop with my laptop concentrating extremely hard at the words that I was reading in the email sent to me.

Dear Ms. Isabelle Brady,

Thank you for your interest in the psychology program at St. Anna's. Based on your personal interest essay and high school transcript we are pleased to offer you our Social Science scholarship offered to our out of state applicants. You will be receiving a packet of information from our department in the next couple of weeks in the mail. We are looking forward to hearing from you.

Congratulations!

Sincerely,

Dr. Curtis Jamison
Psychology Department Chair

I read the letter over and over. I couldn't believe that I had actually gotten a scholarship to St. Anna's. I had toyed with going to school back in Minnesota ever since we moved away, but after I had met the boys and started dating Pete the thought was pretty much put on the back burner. That was until we were prompted to apply to colleges at the beginning of our senior year.

Pete and I applied to most of the same colleges in and around Chicago, but I sent out one application behind his back. I sent one to the College of St. Anna back in Minnesota with no intention of ever being accepted. When I got the letter back in February congratulating me that I had been accepted I decided that maybe I should apply for some scholarships being that there would be no way that I could go to a private school out of state with out one.

Here I was, now, faced with the challenge of actually accepting this offer and leaving Illinois, or staying here with Pete and my friends.

"Hey! I've been looking for you!"

I jumped a mile and slammed my laptop closed before looking up to see Patrick sitting across from me with a very confused look on his face.

"What's going on?" he asked immediately.

"Nothing," I said quickly trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

"Bullshit," he called my bluff.

I was actually shocked. Patrick rarely ever swore.

"Really, it's nothing. Just some emails from back home," I said trying to make eye contact. It was difficult lying to him even though it technically wasn't a lie. I was just omitting some of the truth.

"Ok," he said looking at me through the bottom of his glasses. I knew he knew it was nothing. I just rolled my eyes.

"So why are you looking for me?" I asked trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"I wanted to talk to you about this weekend," he said smiling.

"What's this weekend?" I asked sounding clueless.

"Shut Up!" Patrick said in shock. I tried to hide my smile. I knew it was his birthday and I never would forget that.

"You brat," he said throwing a straw at me when he realized that I was pulling his leg.

"You are just so easy sometimes," I said laughing at him.

"You should be nicer to me, it's my birthday," he said crossing his arms over his chest in a pout like manner.

"Not yet it isn't. So what is up with this weekend?" I asked as I started to doodle on a napkin.

"Well the band is going to play kind of a private show at the Underground, you know, for friends and family only. Then another band is coming in and we are just going to hang out there. Does that sound fun?" he asked fidgeting.

"Yeah, of course. Is there something that you need me to do to help out?" I asked him folding my hands in front of me on the table.

"Yeah, we kind of designated you to be our personal assistant for the night, if you are willing," he said quietly.

"What does that entail?" I asked.

"Well, you know, making sure we have everything we need and that it all goes smoothly. We voted you because you are the most organized out of all of us, and we've got Ady spreading the word to our friends and family, and A.J. is getting food and drink organized, so that leaves you," he said smiling and looking up slightly. Damn him and his adorable looks.

"And they asked you to ask me because?"

"Because they know you couldn't possibly say no to this face," he was now looking me directly in the eyes.

"Of course I will help you on your birthday, Patrick," I said smiling back at him.

"Great!" he said happily. We smiled at each other in silence.

"So how's Pete doing?" he asked in a more serious tone.

"Better. He finally talked to his psychiatrist about the dose he was on and they lowered it, so he is showing some form of emotion now," I said taking a deep breath. It was my turn to be fidgety.

"Yeah, I've kind of noticed a change in his mood. It's a relief to see that," he said finding the table very interesting.

"A relief," I said simply.

"It just makes me wonder, if he is showing a happy mood, is he showing an angry mood as well?" Patrick asked. His eyes were now prying into the top of my head due to the fact that I wouldn't look at him. I just nodded.

"Izzy," he said quietly. I looked up at him and my eyes revealed all. I knew he could read me like a book no matter how torn a faded my pages were.

"We got into a fight the other night, which was the first in a long time, and he pushed me against the wall," I said to him.

"Izzy, I don't understand why you let him do this to you," Patrick said sounding irritated.

"I told him I was sticking with him through this process, and I am going to. I love him, Patrick. I can't just turn my back on him," I said getting tears in my eyes.

"You can stand by him as a friend, you don't have to stand by him as an abused girlfriend," he said lowering his voice at the end of his statement.

"It's fine, Patrick. I'm fine," I said quietly wanting to drop the subject.

------

"Patrick! Are you ready?" I asked walking into his house.

I knew no one was there except for him since everyone was at the club getting everything ready. The boys were all at Andy's packing everything up, and I offered to come pick Patrick up, since I was the personal assistant. The week was spent busily making sure everything was organized so the night would go smoothly. The boys were to play as soon as they got to the club, so everything had to be in order there. Then people were going to hang out and enjoy an evening full of food, drinks, and music thanks to friends of Andy's from the college he was going to.

"I'm up here!" he yelled from upstairs. I jaunted up the stairs quickly.

"Well hurry up because the guys are waiting," I said walking towards his room.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him. He was standing in front of the mirror fiddling with his belt. He looked great. He was dressed in black slacks, a dark grey dress shirt and of course, his chucks. His head snapped up when he noticed me in his doorway.

"Do I look ok?" he asked standing up straight in front of me.

"You're missing something," I said standing with my hands behind my back.

"What?" he asked looking back into the mirror.

"This," I said handing him a box.

"You weren't supposed to get me anything. We agreed that you being our bitch for the night was enough, remember?" he said grabbing the box and sitting down on his bed. I followed him and sat down next to him.

"Oh, please. This isn't anything big, and it's very cliché, so I almost feel bad even giving it to you," I said feeling suddenly nervous by sitting on his bed.

Patrick gave me a 'you're being ridiculous' look and continued to open his box.

"Sweet," he said bulling out the black army hat.

"Here, I had it embroidered, too," I said pointing to the back strap. In small silver stitching it said, Happy Birthday Trix, Love Iz.

"This is awesome," he said smiling down at it.

"I'm glad you like it," I said smiling up at him. "Here, put it on," I said grabbing it from his hands and putting it on him.

My hands cupped his face as he looked at me. There was that look in his eyes again. The one I could never quite read. His hands reached up to mine and he pulled them off his face, but held them in his lap.

"We should really be going," I whispered not able to take my eyes off of his.

Patrick just nodded at me as he leaned in and gently put his lips to mine. Sparks shot through my veins at the touch of his soft lips. His hands immediately went to cup my face as he deepened the kiss. His tongue was on my lips begging for access, which I allowed and had to hold my breath in order not to moan out in pleasure.

I jumped back as soon as I heard and felt my phone vibrating in my pocket.

"Yeah?" I asked flushed and out of breath.

"Are you guys coming or not?" Joe asked into the phone.

"We'll be there in ten," I said standing up quickly and hung up the phone. I looked down at Patrick who was looking off to the side and wiping the palms of his hands on his jeans.

"Fuck, Patrick," I said causing him to look up at me with a guilty face.

"I know," he said quietly.

"We don't have time to talk about this now. We have to go," I said and grabbed his coat and led him out of the house in a hurry.

------

"It's about damn time. What the hell were you guys doing?" Andy asked as we rushed into the garage.

"Yeah, what were you guys making out or something?" Joe asked walking up to us. Patrick and I just stared at him like a deer in headlights.

"No!" I said loudly.

"Izzy, it was a joke. Chill," he said laughing at me.

"Well, it wasn't funny," I snapped and felt like collapsing at that moment in time.

"Are we ready?" Pete asked walking into the garage.

"Yup," everyone said and piled into Andy's vehicle. All the boys were dressed nicely for Patrick's birthday and it put a smile on my face.

We got to the Underground fashionably late, but Pete just stated that's what rock stars like them do, and finished it with a whatever.

When we got inside everybody was there already enjoying their time. The boys began to play almost immediately and received a warm welcome from their family and friends. It was fun to watch them all up on stage. It was probably my most favorite past time. It was as though all worries, thoughts, concerns were left on the side of the stage. When they got up to perform they lit up and suddenly had the energy of twenty perky cheerleaders in each of them. It was amazing. I knew this was where they were meant to be, even if it was only for a crowd of forty people or a crowd of 3,000. This is where these boys were going to be for the rest of their lives.

My thoughts quickly went straight to the kiss between me and Patrick. That can not happen ever again for one simple reason. It would ruin the relationship between Patrick and Pete, which in return would ruin the band. I know how happy this band makes everyone involved, and I am not about to become the reason everything was ruined.

"Ok everybody. As all of you know, we are all gathered here for Patrick's birthday," I heard Pete say snapping me out of my thoughts.

"So, the guys and I got together along with your parents and got you a present," he said looking over at Joe who walked on stage with a brand new guitar.

I knew the guys and Patrick's parents went together to get him this. Patrick's face lit up with shock.

"I just want you to know that you are my best friend, and I am so glad that we are able to share our love of music together," he said putting a hand on Patrick's shoulder.

There were 'awwws' heard from the crowd. I looked at Patrick and saw the guilt painted on his face. He was trying to hide it, but he was unsuccessful.

"Thanks, Pete. And thank you to everybody coming out and sharing my birthday with me," he said timidly into the microphone.

The guys finished with two more songs and ended their set.

"Good job, guys!" I said happily as they came off stage.

Pete was smiling but ran out the backstage doors to do his usual puking fest that he did after every set. He worked himself up so much during their performance that he always managed to puke afterwards.

"We should talk," Patrick said into my ear as Joe and Andy went to change into dry clothes.

"Not now," I said quietly to him looking out of the corner of my eyes for anyone who may see us, especially Pete.

"I want to talk now," he said gently holding onto my forearm. I noticed Pete coming back in and walking into the dressing room to change as well.

"Alright, let's go outside," I said and walked with him out the doors. I didn't know what he was going to say let alone what I was going to say.

"Patrick."

"That can never happen again," he interrupted me.

"What?" I asked shocked.

"I know I started it and I'm sorry, but that can never happen again. It would kill Pete and our friendship, and I don't want that to happen," his face showed me that he felt bad for saying the words. I continued to stand there still not sure of what to say.

"Are you mad?" he asked.

"No, of course not. I agree with you completely. So we just forget it ever happened," I said starting to feel the chills of the April evening.

"Yeah," he said nodding his head.

"Ok then," I said reaching for the door, but Patrick stopped me.

"Iz, I don't want this to ruin our friendship," he said with his hand over mine.

"Don't worry Trix. This is not going to ruin anything," I said and smiled up at him. He let out a big sigh and smiled.

We went back into the party with a huge weight lifted off our shoulders. We knew we weren't going to tell anybody about the kiss and we knew that the kiss wasn't going to hinder our friendship.

"Patrick! Drink up birthday boy!" Pete said handing him a bottle of champagne as soon as we walked into the dressing room.

Joe and Andy had smuggled in alcohol for us to inconspicuously drink, which we did merrily through out the night. I knew I needed something to drink after my week, so I had helped myself to one, two, maybe three bottles of champagne. I don't quite remember, but who's counting. I was just relieved that things had started to feel as though they were getting back to normal.

AN: Thanks everyone for reviewing my story!!! I updated sooner this time...I hope this makes you all very happy. ENJOY!