FicWad

AN: Hey wonderful readers! Sorry for the long wait. I understand if you are all pissed since I left with such a cliffhanger...I'd be pissed too! It's a longer chapter though, so I hope you enjoy.

"Carrie, what the fuck are you doing here?" I heard as I stormed into the kitchen where Pete was with our friends. I felt Patrick's presence behind me.

"That's not important at the moment," she said smiling smugly.

"Carrie, get the fuck out of here. You obviously are not welcome," I said as the anger was apparent in my voice. This caused everyone to look over at me. My eyes were burning holes into her soul, at least they were trying.

"Pete, I think you should know that your girl and best friend are having an affair behind your back," she said looking towards Patrick and me and then at Pete. I noticed Pete's expression turn to stone and he looked past Carrie and directly into my eyes.

"That's a damn lie. Why the hell are you constantly trying to ruin my relationship with Pete," I said walking towards her. The crowd around us had gotten quite bigger.

"Because you don't deserve him," she said simply.

"Oh and you think that you do?" I asked right into her face.

"I may not deserve him either, but I know a cheating whore like you definitely does not have the right to take him away from me. I had him first," she spat into my face.

"You bitch!" I yelled and reached over to clobber her, but was restrained from behind.

"Go to hell!" I kept yelling as I kicked and screamed. I noticed that the arms that were held around me were Joe's.

"Will, can you get her out of here?" Joe asked knowing I wasn't going to calm down until she was gone.

"Carrie, just leave," Will said leading her out by the arm.

"Why the hell does everyone stand up for that skank? She just comes here and deceives you all. She has you all deceived. You're her little puppets!" she screamed as Will escorted her out of the house.

I stopped kicking as Joe let go of me and came to face me.

"Jesus, what a fucking psycho," he said leaning down to look me in the face. "Are you ok?" he asked brushing my hair away from my face.

I just nodded as tears threatened to spill out. Pete hadn't said anything to her. He didn't defend me in any way. Did he believe her?

"She's a liar," I whispered to him.

"I know that," he said laughing a little as though I had no need to defend myself. I looked up and saw Pete giving me the cold stare as he had done before.

"I'm just hoping someone else knows that too," I said as Joe stood up and looked over at Pete.

Most of the people had left the scene and went back to enjoying their New Years. Those still standing in the kitchen were silent either staring at me or Pete waiting in what was the calm before the storm.

"Izzy, I am so so so sorry about that. I don't know who told her about the party," William said coming into the kitchen oblivious to the thick tension.

"It's ok, Will. I'm sorry to put a damper on your party," I said quietly looking up at him.

"Well, it's not a party till a cat fight breaks out, right," he said trying to lighten the mood. I just smiled at him trying to avoid the stare that Pete was giving me.

"Hey! It's almost New Years!" someone yelled from the living room.

"Alright everyone! Grab your noise makers!" Will said running into the living room to join the rest of the party.

Pete walked up to me and grabbed onto my upper arm tightly.

"Can I talk to you in private," he said into my ear. I just nodded and followed him up the stairs to a dark hallway.

We stood in the hallway looking at each other, but neither of us was saying a word. We could hear the party as people were getting ready for the countdown.

"Two Minutes!" we heard Will yell with excitement.

"Say something," I finally said not able to take the suspense.

"What the fuck, Izzy?" he said quietly.

"She's lying. You don't believe her, do you?" I asked shocked at what he first said.

"I don't know who or what to believe anymore," he said leaning against the wall.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I asked shocked. Did he not trust me?

"Well, you had disappeared for a long time. And the last time we fought, Patrick did spend the night. It just all seems a little to much of a coincidence," he said standing up straight and taking a step towards me.

I took a step back, but found myself against the wall. A small hallway was not the place to be having this conversation.

"That's the biggest bullshit I have ever heard come out of your mouth, Pete. You know I would never do that to you and you know Patrick would never do that to you either," I said upset as tears now spilled out of my eyes.

"God, sometimes Izzy you just..." he started.

"I just what, Pete? What do I just do?" I asked now challenging him.

"You make me so mad!" he yelled right into my face. I closed my eyes tight in fear he would hit me, but he didn't.

"I don't like who I am when I am with you!" he yelled again. My heart dropped at hearing this.

"15, 14, 13," we heard from downstairs.

"What are you saying?" I asked trying to hide the fear in my voice.

"I'm saying...I don't know what I am saying," he said running his hands through his hair frustrated.

"10, 9, 8,..."

"Say it," I said just barely above a whisper. He looked straight into my eyes and I could see the defeat in them.

"I'm done," he said coldly as his eyes turned to stone in a matter of seconds.

"5, 4, 3..."

"I'm tired of feeling the way I do when I am with you. I'm done!" he yelled out the last part of his sentence.

"Happy New Year!"

I put my hand up to my mouth for fear that my jaw was going to fall off from shock. This wasn't what I had expected to come from this at all. Pete took one last look at me and walked away.

I stood there in complete shock. I felt as though I wasn't standing in that dark hallway anymore. It seemed as though time was going slower for me than for everyone else. The only feeling I had was the tears that slid down my face. I walked down the stairs in a blind stupor. I didn't see or hear anybody around me. I just walked until I could feel the cold air on my skin and the cold snow seeping in between the straps on my heels. I remember slipping and falling, but not caring. I laid in the cold snow until I felt someone pick me up and put me in the backseat of a car. It seemed as though everything around me was moving so fast, but I just sat there stuck in time. He said he was done. He blames me for his anger. He blames me for everything.

-----

"Izzy. Izzy."

I could hear my name being called, but I couldn't see who was saying it.

"Izzy, hold your breath."

I heard and decided it would be a good idea to listen. Suddenly my face was being put in a sink full of cold water. I gasped from the sheer shock of it and started coughing. I grabbed a towel and wiped off my face and looked in the mirror of my bathroom. My eyeliner was running down my face and I looked pale as a ghost. I then noticed Patrick standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders looking shocked.

"What happened?" I asked not really knowing how I got from the place in the snow to my own house.

"I should be asking you the same thing," he said moving slowly as though he was scared I was going to break. I think it was too late for that.

"I don't know," I said breaking down into tears again.

"Come on," he said putting an arm around me leading me towards my bed. We sat down on my bed and I laid my head in his lap as he put his fingers through my hair. I just continued to cry. Why was this happening?

"I saw you walking out of Will's with tears running down your face and I asked Pete what happened, but he just shook his head and walked away from me, so I came out after you. I found you lying in the snow and you wouldn't respond to me, so I brought you here. You kept saying something about him blaming you for everything? Izzy, what does Pete blame you for?" he asked continuing to run his fingers through my hair.

"Everything," I said crying.

"What does that mean?" he asked confused.

"He said that he doesn't like who he is when he is around me. He blames me for everything," I said breaking down into sobs again.

"Oh, Izzy. He's been drinking and so have you. He'll calm down in time. I'm sure he doesn't mean it," Patrick said quietly now rubbing my back.

"What makes you say that?" I asked trying to stop my tears.

"Because he tells me almost daily how you are his everything," he said quietly.

This just caused my tears to fall more. I know he was trying to help, but if that was true why was he doing this to me?

"Goodnight my angle time to close your eyes, and save these questions for another day. I think I know what you've been asking me. I think you know what I've been trying to say. I promised I would never leave you. And you should always know. Where ever you may go, no matter where you are, I never will be far away," Patrick sang Lullaby (Goodnight, my Angel)) by Billy Joel to me softly.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I listened to his sweet voice softly sing me to sleep. He made me feel that everything was going to be ok, if only it was for the three minutes he was singing to me. By the time he had finished I had fallen into a fitful sleep.

----

I walked through the dark house. I felt as though I was going in slow motion. The more I tried to walk faster, the more it was more difficult for me to move. I could hear voices coming from up the stairs. I started to follow them. I had the strange feeling that I needed to get upstairs. I didn't know why it was so dark.

"Did you do it?" I heard as I got closer to the room with the dim light coming from it. That voice. Why did I know that voice?

"Yeah. She never saw it coming," I heard Pete say in a sinister voice. It was almost dripping with evil.

I tied to run up to the room to see who he was talking to, but it only caused me to go slower.

"Good. Bitch fucking deserves everything she gets," that familiar voice said again. I was getting frustrated.

"She sure does," Pete said laughing causing the other person to laugh with him.

I got goosebumps down my arms from the satanic laughs that were coming from the room. I finally reached the room that held Pete and the mystery voice. I gasped in at what I had seen. Mark and Pete were standing there and stopped laughing when they heard my gasp. I couldn't believe Pete was being so nice to the man who brutally raped me.

"Hello Isabelle," Mark said walking towards me.

"We've been waiting for you," Pete said now coming towards me as well. They both lunged at me at the same time.

"PETE, NO!" I yelled and jumped to get out of their grasp.

"Izzy!" Patrick said shaking me slightly. I opened my eyes and looked around at my surroundings. I then looked up into Patrick's eyes.

"Oh my god. Patrick," I said hugging on to him tightly as soon as I realized that I was having a nightmare.

"It's ok," he tried to sooth me.

"It was horrible," my voice was muffled as I had my head buried in his chest.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked.

"No," I said simply.

"You might feel better," he said lightly pulling back a little to look into my eyes.

"There's too much. It hurts too much," I said trying to fight back my tears and my memories from the night I was raped.

"Ok. You'll be ok," he said smiling down on me. I was grateful that Patrick didn't push the subject anymore.

"Thank you," I whispered. I don't know if he heard me or not.

"Look, I have to go for a little while. Do you want me to come back?" he asked looking over at the clock.

I looked up at him confused. Where was he going? Of course I wanted him to come back. I didn't want to be alone.

"Yes, please," I said sitting up, so he could stand up.

"I won't be long. I promise," he smiled down on me. "Try to get some more rest," he said simply.

"Ok," I said lying down and closing my eyes. I knew it was pretty much useless. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the vision of Pete and Mark laughing together.

----

After waiting for an hour for Patrick to come back, I decided to get up and get out of the dress I had put on the day before; the day before when everything was so different than it was now. I wish I could go back in time. It was crazy that in one moment, my whole existence felt as though it was crashing down onto my chest making it hard for me to breathe, even move. It had only been hours since Pete crushed my soul and I missed him already.

I walked into my living room and put on The Nightmare Before Christmas. I felt close to him being that it was his favorite movie. I cried through the whole thing and started bawling during Sally's Song.

My phone began to beep signaling that I had a text message. I reached over for it hoping it was Patrick telling me he was on his way. I nearly dropped the phone when I saw that it was from Pete.

It read: Help Me.

That was it; nothing more. I panicked and ran out of my house barely getting my flip flops on my feet. I didn't care that snow was covering my feet making them sting in pain. I kept running down the street when I realized that I had no idea where he was. I hoped he was home. I stopped running and looked at his house. I breathed heavily and saw my breath crystallize with each exhale that I took. It looked like no one was there. Maybe his parents were at a New Years Day party.

I ran past the garage and noticed the only car was Pete's, and I continued to run into the house. It was quiet. I kicked off my flip flops and ran upstairs and burst through his bedroom door short of breath.

He wasn't there.

"Shit," I breathed feeling defeated. Where could he be? I felt tears begin to fill my eyes. I looked down at the text again. Help Me. Suddenly I heard a whimper and I held my breath in order to confirm that I really heard what I thought I did.

I heard it again. It was coming from his closet. I ran over to the closet and opened it quickly. There Pete was sitting in his closet hugging his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth.

"Pete. My god, are you ok?" I asked and kneeled down next to him.

"Don't let him hurt me," he said crying.

"Who? Who is going to hurt you?" I asked. I tried to put a hand on his shoulder but he backed away in fear.

"The bad man. He's going to hurt me!" he said now more terrified. His eyes looked distant and I knew he was having a flash back.

"I won't let him hurt you, Pete. I promise," I said and touched his shoulder slightly. His head snapped up and he looked me directly into my eyes.

"Izzy?" he questioned as though he was just noticing that I was there. "What are you doing here?" he asked. His voice was raspy and low.

"You sent me a text. It said to help you," I said lifting up my phone that was clutched into my hand.

"I did?" he asked still sounding very confused.

"You don't remember?" I asked concerned. He was worse than I had any idea of knowing.

"What is wrong with me, Izzy?" he said breaking down into tears.

"Oh, Pete. Nothing is wrong with you," I said hugging him close to me.

"I don't know what caused me to say those things to you last night. I was just so angry because I had gotten into a fight with my father. He was saying horrible things to me about the abuse, my lifestyle choices, everything. It is almost as though he can't stand to even look at me at times. I felt horrible all night and you kept trying to make me feel better, but it just caused me to resent you more for it because I saw the pain in your eyes and I hated that I was making you feel bad. It was as though I couldn't do anything right. So when that whole Carrie scene played out, I just snapped. I was stupid, and I never meant any of those words that I said to you. I don't hate who I am when I am around you. I hate that I make you feel bad. And I'm sorry, Izzy. I'm so sorry" he said gushing out his feelings on the floor between us. I just sat there shocked listening to him closely.

"Pete, we can't go on like this," I said quietly looking down at my hands. He sat there still hugging his knees and I kneeled in front of him still on his closet floor.

"I know, but I don't know what to do?" he said putting his head down.

"You need help, and more help than what I can give to you. Pete, you need to see a professional. What you have been through and what your father is putting you through is extremely traumatic. You can't expect to fix it by yourself. You need to talk to someone," I said putting my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me sadly and nodded slowly.

"Do you think that if I get help that we could make this work? Because you really are my reason for living," his voice was shaky as he spoke.

"I'm not going to let you go through this on your own. I love you," I said hugging him tightly.

"I love you too," he said breaking into tears again. "I'm so scared that I'm going to loose you through this process," he said into my shoulder.

"You won't loose me. We are going to get you through this," I said hugging him tighter.

----

Pete and I drove back to my house after he packed a bag to stay for a little while. He was in no shape to be in the same house as his father. We walked into my house and the credits to The Nightmare Before Christmas were playing on the TV.

"Oh, can we watch that again?" Pete asked walking over to the couch. I smiled slightly.

"Sure. Want anything to drink?" I asked walking towards the kitchen.

"Yeah," he said sitting down and stopping the movie to replay it.

He didn't need to tell me what he wanted. I knew what he liked. I walked into the kitchen as gasped at the flowers sitting in a vase with a card resting against it. I looked back at Pete and noticed that he was glued to the TV, so I quietly walked over and picked up the card. My name was scribbled on the outside. I opened it quickly and pulled out a note.

Izzy,

I came back, but you were gone. I forgot my cell phone at home, or else I would have called you. I hope you are ok. You've got me worried. I bought you flowers to brighten your day. I know it is a small gesture, but I hope as small as it is that it puts a smile on your face. I care about you, and all I really want is for you to be happy.

I'm calling you as soon as I get home to make sure you are ok.

Always,
Patrick

I read the note with my mouth hanging open slightly. He had bought me flowers and I wasn't there to accept them. I felt a slight pull at my heart. God bless that boy.

"Izzy! You're phone is ringing!" Pete yelled from the living room. I quickly folded the note and put it under the pile of phone books sitting on the counter next to the flowers.

"I'm coming!" I yelled and ran into the entry way to see my phone sitting next to my shoes.

"Hello?" I answered and noticed Pete had started the movie, which meant he was fixated to what ever was happening on the screen.

"Are you ok?" Patrick asked sounding concerned.

"I'm fine," I said walking into the kitchen.

"Where did you go? You left everything on in the house. I thought you got abducted or something," he said sounding slightly angry about me leaving.

"No it was nothing like that. I got a text from Pete, and I had to go help him," I said quietly.

"Help him? Is he ok?" he asked sounding concerned again.

"He's fine. It's kind of a long story, though. Short version is we are going to be ok, and he's going to stay here for a little while so things at home can get settled," I said trying not to give him too much information.

"What's going on?" he asked almost as though he was accusing me of something.

"Can we talk about this later?" I asked sitting down at the counter.

"Alright. We're talking tomorrow whether you like it or not," he said in a voice that made me laugh.

"Deal," I said laughing.

"I'll let you go," he sighed deeply.

"Patrick," I said hoping he hadn't hung up.

"Yup," he said simply.

"Thanks for the flowers. They did brighten my day," I said quietly.

"You're welcome. Bye now," he said and hung up. I smiled to myself thankful that I had such a good friend as Patrick.

"Whoa, who are the flowers for?" Pete asked walking into the kitchen causing me to jump a mile.

"Um, my mom started dating this guy she met recently and he sent them to her," I said looking over at the vase of flowers as though they were going to give me the excuse.

"Well, well. He must like her," he said going into the fridge and grabbing a bottled water.

"I guess," I said laughing slightly.

"Who was on the phone?" he asked.

"My mom. She was just checking in on everything," I said holding the phone tightly in my hands. He just nodded.

"Are you coming to watch the movie?" he asked when neither of us moved nor talked for a moment.

"Yeah, sure," I said jumping up from the stool and walked into the living room with him.

We snuggled on the couch together under a blanket. I looked up at him and tried to remember what this moment felt like. I wanted to remember it because tomorrow everything was going to change. Tomorrow was the beginning of a new year and a new time in our lives and our relationship.

He noticed that I was staring at him and looked down on me.

"You ok?" he asked snuggling me closer to him.

"I love you," I blurted out as though it was the most important thing that needed to be said at that moment.

"I love you too. Are you ok?" he asked laughing slightly from nervousness.

"I'm fine. I just wanted you to know that," I said putting my hand on his cheek.

"Ok," he said covering my hand with his own.

He leaned down and kissed me sweetly on the lips. He then went back to watching the movie and I continued to stare at his profile remembering every shadow and every line.