Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Dance To This Beat && Hold A Lover Close

Am I Who You Think About In Bed?

by xxlaurenxx 4 reviews

... jeeze im a meanie for not giving all of you a proper summary :[ o well, all the more reason for you to read it yourself [what are you waiting for?] GO READ!

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: G - Genres: Drama - Published: 2006-11-05 - Updated: 2006-11-06 - 538 words

0Unrated
I lie in the bed and saw the boy lying next to me. Ok, maybe not so much a boy on the outside but on the inside, definitely. And just to clear this with everyone, this boy that I am talking about is in fact the Ryan Ross, guitarist and backup vocalist of Panic! At The Disco.

He slept so peacefully, the kind of peaceful where you think everything's all fine and dandy. It just killed me thinking about how perfect he thought things between us were. Comes over every other night, sleeps with me, and then goes back home to his girlfriend

Just peachy

I stood up; my bare skin chilled by the crisp autumn air. It was nearly the middle of October and the air was already as cold as it's been known to be in December. I quickly picked up a blanket from the floor and wrapped it around my naked body.

I walked up to the window and glanced outside. I'd lived in Minneapolis ever since I was a little kid, but the colors of the leaves never seized to amaze me with their spectacular shades of colors. After admiring the wonderful colors for about three minutes or so, a peculiar yet familiar smell entered my nostrils.

Smells like sex

I dropped the blanket where I was standing and walked into the bathroom that was attached to the bedroom. As I started the shower steam began to fill the room, covering the mirror with a frothy mist.

I stepped in the water began running down my bare flesh, burning me slightly. I shaved, washed and shampooed before getting out, no conditioning, though. My hair was far too thin; after shampooing and straightening, my hair couldn't handle anything else.

I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a towel as I wiped off the mirror with my hand leaving a distorted circle of clear mirror that showed my reflection. I took out some foundation and eyeliner and applied them both, making me look decent enough for my taste.

After being somewhat satisfied with my appearance, I opened the door and walked into the bedroom. I wasn't surprised to see that Ryan was now gone. This was how it happened every time:

He'd come

We'd have sex

I'd wake up

He'd leave

It was almost like a never-ending cycle of usage. And trust me; it didn't exactly make me feel the best. In fact, it made me feel like a useless sack of shit with nothing else to offer.

Yet...I always went back to him.

Maybe it was because he was the only boy I had ever [been] with. Maybe it was because ever since we started our little "get-togethers" I had fallen madly in love with him. Maybe because he was the only person who made me feel truly whole, even if it only was for the time we were together.

But no matter how great he made me feel when he touched me my confidence or happiness or whatever you would call it would always drastically decline after he left me, making me feel like a whore.

I got changed into some boxers and a tank top and cried myself to sleep






Sign up to rate and review this story