Categories > Original > Sci-Fi > Omen of Chaos: Genesis
I: First Day
1 reviewDwayne Erickson doesn't remember anything from his past. Unknowingly, he was part of an experiment for World War III called the BIO project. One day he will awaken the power from that experiment an...
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Omen of Chaos: Genesis
(#) Cobalt-Blue 2007-01-05
You have a good idea for a story. You actually execute it rather well. However, I would suggest writing in the past tense. When a story reads like script, it can be off putting and a little hard to follow. Ex: Instead of:
...the boy lies on the bed...
use:
...the boy lay on the bed....
It reads smoother. Look at your favorite published novel or short story and read that.
Please keep writing though. I enjoyed your story.
Danny
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