Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > A Chance Acquaintance
A Friend Indeed
12 reviewsLogan, Patrick, Joe and Andy plot. Ollie suffers the consequences and Pete becomes enlightened.
2Ambiance
A/N - Okay so it's been a while. I sincerely apologise, I always feel terrible when I keep people waiting. But here it is; another chapter of ACA. It's pretty darn long again and yes something finally happens.....here's the thing though, I have had the worst writers block and this was THE WORST chapter to write ever. However once I got going I literally couldn't stop. I decided to split one massive chapter into 2, still pretty big but manageable, chapters. Haven't finished the next one yet though but just so you all know there isn't going to be many more.....maybe 2 or 3.....
Thank you all for your patience, it is much appreciated.
XX
A Friend indeed.
I shivered as the sun suddenly disappeared behind a large dark cloud. Getting up from my current position, sitting cross legged on the grass, I walked over to the tent and grabbed the nearest woolly thing I could find. It just so happened to be one of Logan's favourite jumpers. I contemplated throwing it into one of the many cesspit style toilets that littered Leeds but instead begrudgingly yanked it on as the wind began to pick up.
"You alright?" Allie asked me from across the camp. I turned and fixed her with a sharp glare.
"What do you think?" I snapped. Stomping over to one of the now beat up camp chairs I flopped down into one and huddled deep into the thick jumper.
Allie wandered over to sit next to me; I ignored her and pointedly looked the other way. I'd been fine with her this morning but as soon as we got back to camp the beer and weed had come out and I had become more pissed off as the minutes passed. Drawing her long legs up under her she put her umpteenth can of Carling down on the floor; I felt her gaze on me but continued to ignore her. I really wasn't in the mood for another one sided stoner conversation.
I knew I was taking my bad mood out on Allie, that it wasn't her fault I'd had, and was indeed still having a shit afternoon but she was here, Logan wasn't.
Ahh Logan.
Is it possible to love someone with all your heart and yet want to seriously harm them at the same time? Apparently so.
Where the fuck was Logan that's what I wanted to know. He was an hour and a half late, he hadn't called to explain why he hadn't shown up, he hadn't even sent me a text. It wasn't like him.....
I was on one hand wrought with worry, what if he'd been hurt or was in trouble? And yet on the other hand I was bubbling with barely suppressed fury. How dare he do this to me? Not only had he left me with Allie all day but he'd also buggered off on possibly the worse day, and at the worst time.
It was half past 3.....only an hour until Fall out Boy perform. I had tried; I really had, to get Pete out of my head. It wasn't as simple a task as I'd thought though; he was everywhere, and if not him then Fall out Boy in general. Banners, posters, t-shirts, CD's, DVD's, books, even bloody underwear bared his mark. I couldn't escape him and o how I wanted to escape.
"You sure you're alright?"
I sighed deeply and gritted my teeth, turning to Allie I forced a smile.
"I'm perfectly fine; I just need abit of peace and quiet." I said hoping she would get the hint and bugger off. I had enough to think about without Allie and her unnecessary drama.
"Oh well okay then I'll go," she said quickly her features creased into a small hurt frown, "It's just you looked so sad."
I jerked my head up sharply at her words.
"What?" I barked at her causing her to start and drop the can of Carling she'd just picked up off of the floor. Cursing under her breath she hastily wiped herself off and looked at me as if I were mad.
"I said you looked sad," she repeated, "Because you did, but now you just look like a headcase."
I dropped my head into my hands and groaned in despair, I had to stop this or I'd go mad. Allie's words, the exact replica of what I had said to Pete so many months ago, had sent such a jolt of mixed emotions through me that it had sent my head into a spin. Panic at the thought of maybe meeting him, guilt at not even trying to see him, fear of rejection if I did, and the new unfamiliar ache, deep in the pit of my chest that I couldn't quite put a name to; that I didn't want to put a name to.
Feeling a firm pressure around my shoulders I looked up cautiously through the wild curls that had dropped in front of my eyes. Allie had dragged her chair closer and had carefully placed an arm around my shoulders, it was a gesture of comfort and although I didn't really want it, for some reason it helped. Taking a few deep breathes I composed myself before sitting up straight again.
"Sorry," I said not meeting Allie's eyes, "I'm just in a weird mood today that's all."
She dropped her arm from around my shoulders, tucking a wayward strand of her short dark hair behind her ear she regarded me curiously, eyebrows raised.
"Not weird as such, more..." She paused and looked me up and down, "conflicted."
I stared at her in alarm, was I that obvious? Did everyone know? Logan did, I'm pretty sure Link does too and now Allie. No wonder I'm such a mess, no wonder Logan's keeping well away from me.
I ignored the now prominent feeling of mortification and gave Allie a small smile.
"Nah I'm just pissed off at Logan," I said trying to laugh it off and hopefully change the subject. Allie looked at me suspiciously but smiled in return and picked up a fresh can of beer.
"I would be too," She said cracking the can and taking a gulp, "But you never know, maybe he's truly forgotten the time, either that or something pretty important sidetracked him. Whatever it is though I'm sure it's important."
I glanced up at the sky, the clouds from earlier now seemed to be darker and full of an impending storm, my scowl was now back in place at the mention of Logan and my head once again swirling with conflicted emotions.
"For his sake," I said tersely, "It had better be."
X
"How about we drug them both, shove them in a room with no doors and windows and just wait for them to wake up?"
I snorted with laughter as did Patrick and Andy.
"One problem," I pointed out, "If they're in a room with no windows and doors then how do we get them in the room in the first place?"
Joe's face creased up in concentration as he actually considered how it could be done. Patrick leaned over and smacked him gently around the head. I cracked up with laughter again at the indignant look on Joe's face and the smirk on Patrick's.
"He was kidding you moron," Patrick said shaking his head as Joe pouted and feigned injury, "We can't drug them, it would be totally wrong not to mention the whole idea sounds like the plot to a bad horror movie."
"Well tell me how it can be done then, please for the love of all that is sacred and holy!" Joe threw his hands up in mock frustration.
I leant back against an amp that had been discarded outside Fall out Boys bus and sighed. Joe did have a point, we hadn't made much progress. Pretty much every idea that had been suggested had been thrown out as either too difficult to manage or too far-fetched to be feasible. We'd spent hours sat outside the tour bus trying to figure out how to bring Pete and Ollie together but come up short. It was frustrating to the extreme as it was such a simple problem; how do you bring 2 people together?
Noe so easy however when you take into consideration Ollie's extreme reluctance to see Pete, Pete's current clueless state as to Ollie's whereabouts and Pete's celebrity status. All these added problems equalled a shit load of stress and hassle for the poor souls trying to help them both. The poor souls obviously being myself, Patrick, Andy and Joe.
"Logan?"
I looked up as Patrick spoke. He was sat across from me, his trucker hat firmly in place, his light blue eyes questioning.
"Huh?" I said most eloquently whilst looking around at the others in confusion.
"I said I still don't see why you can't just bring Ollie here?" Patrick repeated slowly.
I shook my head firmly; we'd been over this already.
"I already told you that Ollie won't be going anywhere near the main arena this afternoon. If she won't go near the arena she's defiantly not going to come backstage is she?"
Andy, who had remained quiet for most of the afternoon, spoke suddenly his lip piercing glinting as his lips moved.
"If she doesn't want to see him then why are we even bothering trying to get them together? Surely if she was truly in love with him then she'd jump at the chance to see Pete again?"
He said it so honestly that I knew he didn't mean it in a negative way. It was true though I suppose, Ollie should be more enthusiastic but then I didn't know the whole story did I?
"Look I don't profess to know all the details of how they met, all I know is how Ollie is now, and how she has been for the past 6 months. So I may have run away with myself on the whole 'being in love' with him thing, the truth is that I don't know what happened in that car park. What I do know is that we've been given an opportunity here to do something; to shake them both out of this fug they've both been in. I for one don't want to pass that opportunity up."
They all nodded in agreement. All of us sat in silence for a few minutes, Patrick and the others I presumed were contemplating what I had just said. I, however selfish and off the point it may seem, couldn't keep my eyes off of my surroundings. This was where I wanted to be, backstage in the middle of the action surrounded by music and noise. People were scurrying around like little worker ants, each of them consumed in their tasks whether it be carrying equipment or tuning guitars. I envied them all.
Turning my attention back to my immediate surroundings I met Patrick's eyes and shrugged.
"I'm coming up blank," I said frankly, "We established earlier that getting Pete to Ollie would cause too much fan frenzy, and Ollie won't come to Pete that's for sure. I don't know what else to suggest."
Patrick sighed, Joe held his hands up in defeat and Andy gave me a sympathetic smile. Getting up I paced the small circle we'd been sitting in agitatedly. As I got up the large clock tower which had been placed in the centre of the backstage area came into view. It was to make sure that all the acts made it to their sound checks and actual performances on time. The large face of it stared out at me and I froze, a feeling of impending doom settling in the pit of my stomach.
"O Crap..." I trailed off suddenly. Patrick looked at me enquiringly.
"What's up?" He asked.
"It's half past 3; I was supposed to meet Ollie back at camp ages ago, she going to frigging kill me."
Gathering up my jacket I made to leg it but was stopped by Patrick who grabbed me by the arm.
"What are we going to do about Pete?" He said a hint of panic in his voice.
"Yeah we never actually figured out what to do." Andy stated whilst getting up and brushing himself off.
"I can't take anymore of his moping dude," Joe said desperately.
"Right, okay, well...." A sudden thought popped into my head and I latched onto it. It was crazy, it'd no doubt piss Ollie right off but it might work....
"Okay," I said firmly, "I'll deal with Ollie, you just make sure that Pete's on stage at 4.30. O yeah and keep an eye out for me will you?"
Although clearly confused they all nodded and I set off at a run towards the exit my backstage pass jangling around my neck.
I had some serious explaining to do.
X
I looked up as the sound of someone scuffing their feet along the path reached my ears. Standing up I stretched and waited for who ever it was to round the large hedge that was obscuring my vision. It was probably Allie; she'd gone off with the stoners to get more beer.
Not 10 seconds later Logan appeared around the corner and as his familiar blonde features came into view I felt my anger bubble to the surface. How dare he bloody leave me here? I walked to the centre of the camp and stood hands on hips as he approached. I expected him to look apologetic or even sheepish at least but instead he stared me down in a most unnerving way. His pale eyes were glinting with a fierce look of determination and I felt my anger waver as he neared pirate camp. I got the sudden urge to back away from him as he strode over and stepped over the many guy ropes before standing in front of me.
Inwardly cursing myself for being so stupid I held my ground. This was Logan for God's sake; the guy who cried at A Walk to Remember, who held my hand at Riley's funeral and who, I'm pretty sure cares about me more that anyone else I know. It was just that look, I don't think I'd ever seen him so oddly stern.
Looking up at him I saw that his expression had changed and was now apologetic, his mouth twisted into a lopsided grin, his fluffy blonde hair flopping innocently over one eye. He was himself again however strange that might sound.
Wanting to regain some ground again I narrowed my eyes and regarded him with a scowl on my face. My anger had virtually disappeared but there was no way I was going to let him get away with deserting me.
"What time do you call this Logan?" I asked waspishly, "You left me here with Allie and the stoners."
I waited for him to reply but was instead hit by a wall of silence. Unnerved once more I glanced up at him confused.
"I'm truly sorry Ollie." Logan said eventually. It was odd though, almost as if he wasn't apologising for being late....
"Yeah well so you should...." I trailed off as something unexpected happened. Logan, moving with unnatural ninja like strength and speed scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder.
"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PUT ME DOWN!" I yelped as I found myself hanging upside down, my legs dangling most unladylike down his chest. I would have found the situation amusing had it not been for Logan's odd behaviour. For some reason I got the horrible feeling that this was not a game or indeed a joke. Craning my head around to look at him I saw the conflicting emotions in his eyes.
"What are you doing Logan?" I huffed at him dropping my head back down as my neck began to cramp. My long hair was hanging loosely over my head almost dragging on the floor and my arms hung limply down Logan's back.
"I'm sorry Ollie," He repeated shaking his head.
"Sorry for what?" I growled at him whist kicking my legs furiously in an attempt to get free.
"For what I'm about to do." He said simply. Grabbing hold of my legs he held me down in an iron like grip and with a small grunt of effort began to walk out of Pirate Camp. Stepping over the many guy ropes he set off at a slow pace in the direction of the main arena.
I tensed up instantly and began to kick and thrash my arms and legs once more.
"YOU PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW LOGAN!" I bellowed in his ear. He winced at my loud yell but ignored me and carried on walking. I suddenly understood what was going on; Logan had been plotting all along the bastard. O god it was nearly time for Fall out boy's performance....a jolt of overwhelming panic shot through me and I began to frantically try and get free.
"IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW LOGAN THEN I'M GOING TO SCREAM BLOODY MURDER!" I yelled again right in his ear. He scrunched his eyes up in apparent pain and hoisted me further over his shoulder. Still beating my fists into his back I watched with impending doom as Logan steadily made it up the hill and Pirate camp began to disappear into the distance.
If I hadn't been in the position I was I might have marvelled at Logan's surprising strength. He's pretty weedy looking and though I'm certainly not a blimp, I'm also by no means a lightweight especially when balanced precariously over a persons shoulder.
"This is for your own good Ollie," Logan panted as he continued to stagger onwards, "I'm trying to help you here."
"Help me?" I hissed ceasing my kicking and fidgeting momentarily to glare daggers at him cricking my neck in the process, "How is kidnapping me for the second time in as many days helping me Logan?"
"You need to see Pete. If only to get it out of your system." He panted.
We had almost made it up the hill now and I began to struggle frantically again as we neared the large metal gates into the main arena.
"Will you give over?" Logan snapped in-between wheezes. He was sweating now, glistening pearls of it running down the back of his neck and face.
"PUT ME DOWN!" I repeated ignoring him, all the blood was starting to rush to my head, it was making me dizzy and adding to my desperate panic. I couldn't face seeing Pete. I just couldn't. Why couldn't Logan understand that?
We suddenly hit concrete, signalling the path that lead to the main gates. I let out a growl of frustration and angrily blew my hair away from my face.
"If you do this to me I'll never forgive you." I said quietly.
Logan stopped suddenly and I was unexpectedly shoved abruptly off his shoulder. Wobbling on the spot at suddenly being upright I found myself staring directly into Logan's eyes. He was shaking with exertion, his pale face red and blotchy. Grabbing me firmly by the arms he held me in place and forced me to look at him.
"You want to know something Ollie?" He said with a bitter laugh, "While we're here I might aswel get everything out in the open, How about I make a big list of all the things you can hate me for? Would that make you happy? That way instead of hating me for trying to help you, you can actually hate me for a good reason."
I stared at him blankly.
"When we were in year 10 at school and you were going out with Liam Briggs; I told him that you spread a rumour that he was a shite kisser so that he would break up with you."
I remembered that, he had broken up with me and at the time I had thought it was strange. I wanted to ask why, but deep down I think I knew the answer; Logan had always wanted more than I could give to him especially back then. Not now though, I think he's gotten over that phase.
"Then remember the time you went on holiday for a week just after The Den had its grand opening?"
I nodded slowly.
"You left me a list of things to remember but I never followed it. We got broken into and the place got trashed; I told you they had smashed a window but in actual fact it was because I had forgotten to lock the doors properly."
I set my jaw to prevent myself from saying anything I'd regret. It was in the past, it meant nothing now. I repeated that over and over until I managed to contain my fury.
"Now the big finale," He said, his voice softening slightly, deep regret in his eyes, "I knew that Riley was cheating on you."
I tensed at the mention of his name. It took me a moment to absorb what Logan had just said, I took a step away from him, jerking myself out of his grasp.
"You knew?" I said accusingly.
He nodded. All bitterness was suddenly gone, all anger, all childish fury now replaced by regret and pain. He'd been living with this for 3 years.....
I wanted to be mad at him, I wanted to hate him. The truth was though that I actually felt madder about The Den getting broken into because of him than his deception over Riley. I think I was more surprised by the revelation that he knew than that he'd kept it from me.
"I just want you to be happy Ollie," He said softly, not meeting my eyes.
I stepped forward and gave him a hug, he stiffened in surprise, I think he thought I was going to hit him. Smiling I tightened my hold on him and he relaxed returning the embrace.
"I'm so..." He began.
"Don't apologise." I said sternly breaking away from the hug, "The whole Riley thing is in the past; Pete helped me to see that. I stopped beating myself up about it and now you do too."
"You don't hate me?" Logan questioned.
"Of course not" I said sincerely, "I may get pissed off with you occasionally but I could never truly hate you."
"Well that's good," He said sheepishly, "Because there's still the more pressing matter of Pete to attend to...." He trailed off and looked pointedly at his watch which now read 4.15pm.
I shook my head at him, at what he was suggesting.
"I can't Logan."
"Why?" He questioned.
"Because what's the point?" I said, Logan arched an eyebrow in disbelief at me.
"Does there have to be a point? Can't you just take the risk and see what happens? You don't have to have all the answers Ollie."
I contemplated what he just said, I knew that what he said was technically true, it didn't make it any easier to deal with though. But I was tired. Tired of always saying no, tired of having all these feelings and not being able to act upon them.
Dropping my head down in defeat and desperately trying to ignore the sparks of fear shooting up my spine I took a deep breath.
"Okay Logan," I said quietly whilst holding out my hand, "Lead the way."
X
Walking towards the stage I tried to ignore my rising panic. Logan had a tight grip of my hand and was practically pulling me along. He'd taken charge of the situation, even going as far as to hold my arm up for me so that the guards at the gates could check my wristband was still in place.
We were both panting but I knew that there was no chance Logan would agree to a pit stop of any kind.
The crowds around the stage were pretty immense, I knew they would be. Irrational though it was, I felt a surge of pride that Pete and the others could attract such a huge crowd due to talent alone. However as we got closer that pride was quickly replaced by new waves of fear. I could see the backdrop of the stage; it had their name embossed all over it.
"I've changed my mind Logan," I said trying to stop, "Let's just go back."
He turned and gave me a brief look of scorn before carrying on past the last gate and finally entering the field that housed the massive main stage. Music was playing loudly in the background, some other indie band that I had no interest in. Logan seemed to know where he was going and I found myself once again being unwillingly dragged along for the ride.
Though I didn't want to look, I found my eyes drawn to the side of the stage, a desperate need to run was battling with a growing curiosity to stay and at least catch a glimpse of him. The desperation was winning out though and I began to shake my head and protest loudly.
"Let...me...go...Logan..." I begged whilst frantically trying to pull away from him. I deeply regretted my earlier decision to come willingly.
He was pulling me closer and closer to the stage and although I was digging my heels in I couldn't seem to get a firm enough grip to stop our progress. Keeping a tight hold on my wrists Logan yanked me into the small crowd that had gathered around the side of the stage.
I stared up in horror as smoke began to billow out of small side vents, signalling that the performance as about to start.
"Please don't do this to me Logan." I said desperately as he pushed me in front of him, his arms placed firmly on my shoulders to prevent me from running. We were horribly close to the stage now. I could make out every fleck on the backdrop; see every angle of the stage. If I stayed here then there was a very good chance that Pete would see me, then there would be a very good chance that he would remember....or not remember.
The intro to 'Sugar we're going down' started and Andy and Joe burst out on stage. I tensed up so much that I felt my shoulders and neck shaking with the strain. Logan's arms were holding on to me so tightly that I could feel his short clipped nails digging into me through my t-shirt and jumper, so I knew that there was no possible way I could make a run for it.
The crowd let out a roar of appreciation as Patrick walked shyly on stage, decked out in his usual hat, jeans and t-shirt combo. Taking his place behind the microphone he began to clap to the beat that Andy was now belting out on the drums.
O God.
I felt myself freeze to the spot. All other noise disappeared as Pete finally burst onto the stage. The breath was knocked out of me and I found myself simply staring at him.
He hadn't changed, not really. His hair was now streaked with red and he was possibly a little thinner but it was still him; the guy I'd spilled my secrets too, who hadn't judged me and who I shared one of my most intimate moments with. Still that same lopsided smile, those same dark eyes.
He span strode and commanded the stage, a cocky look on his handsome face, his warm brown eyes full of passion, lost in his performance. The crowds were going crazy for them, for him.
That odd ache in my chest was back. Damn it.
X
I kept flicking quick glances over to Pete as he really got in to the performance. I was surprised to be honest; he'd obviously decided that he was going to buck his ideas up. Ironic really that he's depressed for months and just as he decides to cheer up Ollie makes a shock appearance. That's life I suppose.
"Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear"
Looking out at the crowds I tried to locate Logan. It was easier said than done though.
"Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song"
Green shirt, green shirt, he was wearing a green shirt.....
"Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team"
Pete was going mad, spinning and bouncing around like he was possessed. Not that I'm complaining. I turned and met Joe's eyes, he raised an eyebrow and I gave him a small shake of my head.
"We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
Sweeping the area again I had another look. He wouldn't be in the centre of the crowds surely?
GOTCHA!
Green shirt, blonde hair, pale face. He was waving his hand in the air in large swooping motions to try and grab my attention. I winked at him and he ceased the waving giving me a thumbs up instead. Pointing he motioned down to the woman who was standing in front of him. Long curly auburn hair, pretty features, look of absolute terror on her face; yeah she fit the description.
"Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet"
Pete was quite close to me and I tried subtly to wave him over in-between lines. He wasn't really paying attention though.
"Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song"
"Pete," I hissed just before the chorus started. He gave me an enquiring look and I flicked my head at him to get him to come nearer to me. Turning the act of walking over into a spin he neared.
"Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team"
Grabbing hold of him I leaned in and yelled in his ear so he wouldn't miss what I was saying.
"Right of the stage; standing in front of the tall pale guy in the green shirt."
"We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
Ignoring his look of utter confusion, I gave him a shove that sent him over to the right side of the stage. Bewildered, he carried on playing and scanned the crowd. I was so consumed by watching him that I almost missed the second bit of the chorus.
"We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
All of a sudden a note so wrong blasted out of his bass making me wince. Our sound guy, who was sat at the side of the stage, shot up in a panic and began frantically fiddling with buttons. It wasn't a malfunction though, it was a realization. Looking back at Pete I saw him stood frozen to the spot, his eyes wide and disbelieving.
Looking out at the crowd again I located Logan and Ollie. Logan was stood a couple of steps away now but Ollie was still standing in the same place, her eyes locked with Pete's. She looked vaguely like a rabbit caught in the headlights, but then so did Pete.
Our bass player was currently displaying statue like traits that didn't really fit well into a performance that required the art of actually playing the bass. As I finished the song I wondered vaguely whether it had been a good idea to do this at the start of the gig.
"We're going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
Probably not....
X
Thank you all for your patience, it is much appreciated.
XX
A Friend indeed.
I shivered as the sun suddenly disappeared behind a large dark cloud. Getting up from my current position, sitting cross legged on the grass, I walked over to the tent and grabbed the nearest woolly thing I could find. It just so happened to be one of Logan's favourite jumpers. I contemplated throwing it into one of the many cesspit style toilets that littered Leeds but instead begrudgingly yanked it on as the wind began to pick up.
"You alright?" Allie asked me from across the camp. I turned and fixed her with a sharp glare.
"What do you think?" I snapped. Stomping over to one of the now beat up camp chairs I flopped down into one and huddled deep into the thick jumper.
Allie wandered over to sit next to me; I ignored her and pointedly looked the other way. I'd been fine with her this morning but as soon as we got back to camp the beer and weed had come out and I had become more pissed off as the minutes passed. Drawing her long legs up under her she put her umpteenth can of Carling down on the floor; I felt her gaze on me but continued to ignore her. I really wasn't in the mood for another one sided stoner conversation.
I knew I was taking my bad mood out on Allie, that it wasn't her fault I'd had, and was indeed still having a shit afternoon but she was here, Logan wasn't.
Ahh Logan.
Is it possible to love someone with all your heart and yet want to seriously harm them at the same time? Apparently so.
Where the fuck was Logan that's what I wanted to know. He was an hour and a half late, he hadn't called to explain why he hadn't shown up, he hadn't even sent me a text. It wasn't like him.....
I was on one hand wrought with worry, what if he'd been hurt or was in trouble? And yet on the other hand I was bubbling with barely suppressed fury. How dare he do this to me? Not only had he left me with Allie all day but he'd also buggered off on possibly the worse day, and at the worst time.
It was half past 3.....only an hour until Fall out Boy perform. I had tried; I really had, to get Pete out of my head. It wasn't as simple a task as I'd thought though; he was everywhere, and if not him then Fall out Boy in general. Banners, posters, t-shirts, CD's, DVD's, books, even bloody underwear bared his mark. I couldn't escape him and o how I wanted to escape.
"You sure you're alright?"
I sighed deeply and gritted my teeth, turning to Allie I forced a smile.
"I'm perfectly fine; I just need abit of peace and quiet." I said hoping she would get the hint and bugger off. I had enough to think about without Allie and her unnecessary drama.
"Oh well okay then I'll go," she said quickly her features creased into a small hurt frown, "It's just you looked so sad."
I jerked my head up sharply at her words.
"What?" I barked at her causing her to start and drop the can of Carling she'd just picked up off of the floor. Cursing under her breath she hastily wiped herself off and looked at me as if I were mad.
"I said you looked sad," she repeated, "Because you did, but now you just look like a headcase."
I dropped my head into my hands and groaned in despair, I had to stop this or I'd go mad. Allie's words, the exact replica of what I had said to Pete so many months ago, had sent such a jolt of mixed emotions through me that it had sent my head into a spin. Panic at the thought of maybe meeting him, guilt at not even trying to see him, fear of rejection if I did, and the new unfamiliar ache, deep in the pit of my chest that I couldn't quite put a name to; that I didn't want to put a name to.
Feeling a firm pressure around my shoulders I looked up cautiously through the wild curls that had dropped in front of my eyes. Allie had dragged her chair closer and had carefully placed an arm around my shoulders, it was a gesture of comfort and although I didn't really want it, for some reason it helped. Taking a few deep breathes I composed myself before sitting up straight again.
"Sorry," I said not meeting Allie's eyes, "I'm just in a weird mood today that's all."
She dropped her arm from around my shoulders, tucking a wayward strand of her short dark hair behind her ear she regarded me curiously, eyebrows raised.
"Not weird as such, more..." She paused and looked me up and down, "conflicted."
I stared at her in alarm, was I that obvious? Did everyone know? Logan did, I'm pretty sure Link does too and now Allie. No wonder I'm such a mess, no wonder Logan's keeping well away from me.
I ignored the now prominent feeling of mortification and gave Allie a small smile.
"Nah I'm just pissed off at Logan," I said trying to laugh it off and hopefully change the subject. Allie looked at me suspiciously but smiled in return and picked up a fresh can of beer.
"I would be too," She said cracking the can and taking a gulp, "But you never know, maybe he's truly forgotten the time, either that or something pretty important sidetracked him. Whatever it is though I'm sure it's important."
I glanced up at the sky, the clouds from earlier now seemed to be darker and full of an impending storm, my scowl was now back in place at the mention of Logan and my head once again swirling with conflicted emotions.
"For his sake," I said tersely, "It had better be."
X
"How about we drug them both, shove them in a room with no doors and windows and just wait for them to wake up?"
I snorted with laughter as did Patrick and Andy.
"One problem," I pointed out, "If they're in a room with no windows and doors then how do we get them in the room in the first place?"
Joe's face creased up in concentration as he actually considered how it could be done. Patrick leaned over and smacked him gently around the head. I cracked up with laughter again at the indignant look on Joe's face and the smirk on Patrick's.
"He was kidding you moron," Patrick said shaking his head as Joe pouted and feigned injury, "We can't drug them, it would be totally wrong not to mention the whole idea sounds like the plot to a bad horror movie."
"Well tell me how it can be done then, please for the love of all that is sacred and holy!" Joe threw his hands up in mock frustration.
I leant back against an amp that had been discarded outside Fall out Boys bus and sighed. Joe did have a point, we hadn't made much progress. Pretty much every idea that had been suggested had been thrown out as either too difficult to manage or too far-fetched to be feasible. We'd spent hours sat outside the tour bus trying to figure out how to bring Pete and Ollie together but come up short. It was frustrating to the extreme as it was such a simple problem; how do you bring 2 people together?
Noe so easy however when you take into consideration Ollie's extreme reluctance to see Pete, Pete's current clueless state as to Ollie's whereabouts and Pete's celebrity status. All these added problems equalled a shit load of stress and hassle for the poor souls trying to help them both. The poor souls obviously being myself, Patrick, Andy and Joe.
"Logan?"
I looked up as Patrick spoke. He was sat across from me, his trucker hat firmly in place, his light blue eyes questioning.
"Huh?" I said most eloquently whilst looking around at the others in confusion.
"I said I still don't see why you can't just bring Ollie here?" Patrick repeated slowly.
I shook my head firmly; we'd been over this already.
"I already told you that Ollie won't be going anywhere near the main arena this afternoon. If she won't go near the arena she's defiantly not going to come backstage is she?"
Andy, who had remained quiet for most of the afternoon, spoke suddenly his lip piercing glinting as his lips moved.
"If she doesn't want to see him then why are we even bothering trying to get them together? Surely if she was truly in love with him then she'd jump at the chance to see Pete again?"
He said it so honestly that I knew he didn't mean it in a negative way. It was true though I suppose, Ollie should be more enthusiastic but then I didn't know the whole story did I?
"Look I don't profess to know all the details of how they met, all I know is how Ollie is now, and how she has been for the past 6 months. So I may have run away with myself on the whole 'being in love' with him thing, the truth is that I don't know what happened in that car park. What I do know is that we've been given an opportunity here to do something; to shake them both out of this fug they've both been in. I for one don't want to pass that opportunity up."
They all nodded in agreement. All of us sat in silence for a few minutes, Patrick and the others I presumed were contemplating what I had just said. I, however selfish and off the point it may seem, couldn't keep my eyes off of my surroundings. This was where I wanted to be, backstage in the middle of the action surrounded by music and noise. People were scurrying around like little worker ants, each of them consumed in their tasks whether it be carrying equipment or tuning guitars. I envied them all.
Turning my attention back to my immediate surroundings I met Patrick's eyes and shrugged.
"I'm coming up blank," I said frankly, "We established earlier that getting Pete to Ollie would cause too much fan frenzy, and Ollie won't come to Pete that's for sure. I don't know what else to suggest."
Patrick sighed, Joe held his hands up in defeat and Andy gave me a sympathetic smile. Getting up I paced the small circle we'd been sitting in agitatedly. As I got up the large clock tower which had been placed in the centre of the backstage area came into view. It was to make sure that all the acts made it to their sound checks and actual performances on time. The large face of it stared out at me and I froze, a feeling of impending doom settling in the pit of my stomach.
"O Crap..." I trailed off suddenly. Patrick looked at me enquiringly.
"What's up?" He asked.
"It's half past 3; I was supposed to meet Ollie back at camp ages ago, she going to frigging kill me."
Gathering up my jacket I made to leg it but was stopped by Patrick who grabbed me by the arm.
"What are we going to do about Pete?" He said a hint of panic in his voice.
"Yeah we never actually figured out what to do." Andy stated whilst getting up and brushing himself off.
"I can't take anymore of his moping dude," Joe said desperately.
"Right, okay, well...." A sudden thought popped into my head and I latched onto it. It was crazy, it'd no doubt piss Ollie right off but it might work....
"Okay," I said firmly, "I'll deal with Ollie, you just make sure that Pete's on stage at 4.30. O yeah and keep an eye out for me will you?"
Although clearly confused they all nodded and I set off at a run towards the exit my backstage pass jangling around my neck.
I had some serious explaining to do.
X
I looked up as the sound of someone scuffing their feet along the path reached my ears. Standing up I stretched and waited for who ever it was to round the large hedge that was obscuring my vision. It was probably Allie; she'd gone off with the stoners to get more beer.
Not 10 seconds later Logan appeared around the corner and as his familiar blonde features came into view I felt my anger bubble to the surface. How dare he bloody leave me here? I walked to the centre of the camp and stood hands on hips as he approached. I expected him to look apologetic or even sheepish at least but instead he stared me down in a most unnerving way. His pale eyes were glinting with a fierce look of determination and I felt my anger waver as he neared pirate camp. I got the sudden urge to back away from him as he strode over and stepped over the many guy ropes before standing in front of me.
Inwardly cursing myself for being so stupid I held my ground. This was Logan for God's sake; the guy who cried at A Walk to Remember, who held my hand at Riley's funeral and who, I'm pretty sure cares about me more that anyone else I know. It was just that look, I don't think I'd ever seen him so oddly stern.
Looking up at him I saw that his expression had changed and was now apologetic, his mouth twisted into a lopsided grin, his fluffy blonde hair flopping innocently over one eye. He was himself again however strange that might sound.
Wanting to regain some ground again I narrowed my eyes and regarded him with a scowl on my face. My anger had virtually disappeared but there was no way I was going to let him get away with deserting me.
"What time do you call this Logan?" I asked waspishly, "You left me here with Allie and the stoners."
I waited for him to reply but was instead hit by a wall of silence. Unnerved once more I glanced up at him confused.
"I'm truly sorry Ollie." Logan said eventually. It was odd though, almost as if he wasn't apologising for being late....
"Yeah well so you should...." I trailed off as something unexpected happened. Logan, moving with unnatural ninja like strength and speed scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder.
"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PUT ME DOWN!" I yelped as I found myself hanging upside down, my legs dangling most unladylike down his chest. I would have found the situation amusing had it not been for Logan's odd behaviour. For some reason I got the horrible feeling that this was not a game or indeed a joke. Craning my head around to look at him I saw the conflicting emotions in his eyes.
"What are you doing Logan?" I huffed at him dropping my head back down as my neck began to cramp. My long hair was hanging loosely over my head almost dragging on the floor and my arms hung limply down Logan's back.
"I'm sorry Ollie," He repeated shaking his head.
"Sorry for what?" I growled at him whist kicking my legs furiously in an attempt to get free.
"For what I'm about to do." He said simply. Grabbing hold of my legs he held me down in an iron like grip and with a small grunt of effort began to walk out of Pirate Camp. Stepping over the many guy ropes he set off at a slow pace in the direction of the main arena.
I tensed up instantly and began to kick and thrash my arms and legs once more.
"YOU PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW LOGAN!" I bellowed in his ear. He winced at my loud yell but ignored me and carried on walking. I suddenly understood what was going on; Logan had been plotting all along the bastard. O god it was nearly time for Fall out boy's performance....a jolt of overwhelming panic shot through me and I began to frantically try and get free.
"IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW LOGAN THEN I'M GOING TO SCREAM BLOODY MURDER!" I yelled again right in his ear. He scrunched his eyes up in apparent pain and hoisted me further over his shoulder. Still beating my fists into his back I watched with impending doom as Logan steadily made it up the hill and Pirate camp began to disappear into the distance.
If I hadn't been in the position I was I might have marvelled at Logan's surprising strength. He's pretty weedy looking and though I'm certainly not a blimp, I'm also by no means a lightweight especially when balanced precariously over a persons shoulder.
"This is for your own good Ollie," Logan panted as he continued to stagger onwards, "I'm trying to help you here."
"Help me?" I hissed ceasing my kicking and fidgeting momentarily to glare daggers at him cricking my neck in the process, "How is kidnapping me for the second time in as many days helping me Logan?"
"You need to see Pete. If only to get it out of your system." He panted.
We had almost made it up the hill now and I began to struggle frantically again as we neared the large metal gates into the main arena.
"Will you give over?" Logan snapped in-between wheezes. He was sweating now, glistening pearls of it running down the back of his neck and face.
"PUT ME DOWN!" I repeated ignoring him, all the blood was starting to rush to my head, it was making me dizzy and adding to my desperate panic. I couldn't face seeing Pete. I just couldn't. Why couldn't Logan understand that?
We suddenly hit concrete, signalling the path that lead to the main gates. I let out a growl of frustration and angrily blew my hair away from my face.
"If you do this to me I'll never forgive you." I said quietly.
Logan stopped suddenly and I was unexpectedly shoved abruptly off his shoulder. Wobbling on the spot at suddenly being upright I found myself staring directly into Logan's eyes. He was shaking with exertion, his pale face red and blotchy. Grabbing me firmly by the arms he held me in place and forced me to look at him.
"You want to know something Ollie?" He said with a bitter laugh, "While we're here I might aswel get everything out in the open, How about I make a big list of all the things you can hate me for? Would that make you happy? That way instead of hating me for trying to help you, you can actually hate me for a good reason."
I stared at him blankly.
"When we were in year 10 at school and you were going out with Liam Briggs; I told him that you spread a rumour that he was a shite kisser so that he would break up with you."
I remembered that, he had broken up with me and at the time I had thought it was strange. I wanted to ask why, but deep down I think I knew the answer; Logan had always wanted more than I could give to him especially back then. Not now though, I think he's gotten over that phase.
"Then remember the time you went on holiday for a week just after The Den had its grand opening?"
I nodded slowly.
"You left me a list of things to remember but I never followed it. We got broken into and the place got trashed; I told you they had smashed a window but in actual fact it was because I had forgotten to lock the doors properly."
I set my jaw to prevent myself from saying anything I'd regret. It was in the past, it meant nothing now. I repeated that over and over until I managed to contain my fury.
"Now the big finale," He said, his voice softening slightly, deep regret in his eyes, "I knew that Riley was cheating on you."
I tensed at the mention of his name. It took me a moment to absorb what Logan had just said, I took a step away from him, jerking myself out of his grasp.
"You knew?" I said accusingly.
He nodded. All bitterness was suddenly gone, all anger, all childish fury now replaced by regret and pain. He'd been living with this for 3 years.....
I wanted to be mad at him, I wanted to hate him. The truth was though that I actually felt madder about The Den getting broken into because of him than his deception over Riley. I think I was more surprised by the revelation that he knew than that he'd kept it from me.
"I just want you to be happy Ollie," He said softly, not meeting my eyes.
I stepped forward and gave him a hug, he stiffened in surprise, I think he thought I was going to hit him. Smiling I tightened my hold on him and he relaxed returning the embrace.
"I'm so..." He began.
"Don't apologise." I said sternly breaking away from the hug, "The whole Riley thing is in the past; Pete helped me to see that. I stopped beating myself up about it and now you do too."
"You don't hate me?" Logan questioned.
"Of course not" I said sincerely, "I may get pissed off with you occasionally but I could never truly hate you."
"Well that's good," He said sheepishly, "Because there's still the more pressing matter of Pete to attend to...." He trailed off and looked pointedly at his watch which now read 4.15pm.
I shook my head at him, at what he was suggesting.
"I can't Logan."
"Why?" He questioned.
"Because what's the point?" I said, Logan arched an eyebrow in disbelief at me.
"Does there have to be a point? Can't you just take the risk and see what happens? You don't have to have all the answers Ollie."
I contemplated what he just said, I knew that what he said was technically true, it didn't make it any easier to deal with though. But I was tired. Tired of always saying no, tired of having all these feelings and not being able to act upon them.
Dropping my head down in defeat and desperately trying to ignore the sparks of fear shooting up my spine I took a deep breath.
"Okay Logan," I said quietly whilst holding out my hand, "Lead the way."
X
Walking towards the stage I tried to ignore my rising panic. Logan had a tight grip of my hand and was practically pulling me along. He'd taken charge of the situation, even going as far as to hold my arm up for me so that the guards at the gates could check my wristband was still in place.
We were both panting but I knew that there was no chance Logan would agree to a pit stop of any kind.
The crowds around the stage were pretty immense, I knew they would be. Irrational though it was, I felt a surge of pride that Pete and the others could attract such a huge crowd due to talent alone. However as we got closer that pride was quickly replaced by new waves of fear. I could see the backdrop of the stage; it had their name embossed all over it.
"I've changed my mind Logan," I said trying to stop, "Let's just go back."
He turned and gave me a brief look of scorn before carrying on past the last gate and finally entering the field that housed the massive main stage. Music was playing loudly in the background, some other indie band that I had no interest in. Logan seemed to know where he was going and I found myself once again being unwillingly dragged along for the ride.
Though I didn't want to look, I found my eyes drawn to the side of the stage, a desperate need to run was battling with a growing curiosity to stay and at least catch a glimpse of him. The desperation was winning out though and I began to shake my head and protest loudly.
"Let...me...go...Logan..." I begged whilst frantically trying to pull away from him. I deeply regretted my earlier decision to come willingly.
He was pulling me closer and closer to the stage and although I was digging my heels in I couldn't seem to get a firm enough grip to stop our progress. Keeping a tight hold on my wrists Logan yanked me into the small crowd that had gathered around the side of the stage.
I stared up in horror as smoke began to billow out of small side vents, signalling that the performance as about to start.
"Please don't do this to me Logan." I said desperately as he pushed me in front of him, his arms placed firmly on my shoulders to prevent me from running. We were horribly close to the stage now. I could make out every fleck on the backdrop; see every angle of the stage. If I stayed here then there was a very good chance that Pete would see me, then there would be a very good chance that he would remember....or not remember.
The intro to 'Sugar we're going down' started and Andy and Joe burst out on stage. I tensed up so much that I felt my shoulders and neck shaking with the strain. Logan's arms were holding on to me so tightly that I could feel his short clipped nails digging into me through my t-shirt and jumper, so I knew that there was no possible way I could make a run for it.
The crowd let out a roar of appreciation as Patrick walked shyly on stage, decked out in his usual hat, jeans and t-shirt combo. Taking his place behind the microphone he began to clap to the beat that Andy was now belting out on the drums.
O God.
I felt myself freeze to the spot. All other noise disappeared as Pete finally burst onto the stage. The breath was knocked out of me and I found myself simply staring at him.
He hadn't changed, not really. His hair was now streaked with red and he was possibly a little thinner but it was still him; the guy I'd spilled my secrets too, who hadn't judged me and who I shared one of my most intimate moments with. Still that same lopsided smile, those same dark eyes.
He span strode and commanded the stage, a cocky look on his handsome face, his warm brown eyes full of passion, lost in his performance. The crowds were going crazy for them, for him.
That odd ache in my chest was back. Damn it.
X
I kept flicking quick glances over to Pete as he really got in to the performance. I was surprised to be honest; he'd obviously decided that he was going to buck his ideas up. Ironic really that he's depressed for months and just as he decides to cheer up Ollie makes a shock appearance. That's life I suppose.
"Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear"
Looking out at the crowds I tried to locate Logan. It was easier said than done though.
"Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song"
Green shirt, green shirt, he was wearing a green shirt.....
"Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team"
Pete was going mad, spinning and bouncing around like he was possessed. Not that I'm complaining. I turned and met Joe's eyes, he raised an eyebrow and I gave him a small shake of my head.
"We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
Sweeping the area again I had another look. He wouldn't be in the centre of the crowds surely?
GOTCHA!
Green shirt, blonde hair, pale face. He was waving his hand in the air in large swooping motions to try and grab my attention. I winked at him and he ceased the waving giving me a thumbs up instead. Pointing he motioned down to the woman who was standing in front of him. Long curly auburn hair, pretty features, look of absolute terror on her face; yeah she fit the description.
"Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet"
Pete was quite close to me and I tried subtly to wave him over in-between lines. He wasn't really paying attention though.
"Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song"
"Pete," I hissed just before the chorus started. He gave me an enquiring look and I flicked my head at him to get him to come nearer to me. Turning the act of walking over into a spin he neared.
"Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team"
Grabbing hold of him I leaned in and yelled in his ear so he wouldn't miss what I was saying.
"Right of the stage; standing in front of the tall pale guy in the green shirt."
"We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
Ignoring his look of utter confusion, I gave him a shove that sent him over to the right side of the stage. Bewildered, he carried on playing and scanned the crowd. I was so consumed by watching him that I almost missed the second bit of the chorus.
"We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
All of a sudden a note so wrong blasted out of his bass making me wince. Our sound guy, who was sat at the side of the stage, shot up in a panic and began frantically fiddling with buttons. It wasn't a malfunction though, it was a realization. Looking back at Pete I saw him stood frozen to the spot, his eyes wide and disbelieving.
Looking out at the crowd again I located Logan and Ollie. Logan was stood a couple of steps away now but Ollie was still standing in the same place, her eyes locked with Pete's. She looked vaguely like a rabbit caught in the headlights, but then so did Pete.
Our bass player was currently displaying statue like traits that didn't really fit well into a performance that required the art of actually playing the bass. As I finished the song I wondered vaguely whether it had been a good idea to do this at the start of the gig.
"We're going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
Probably not....
X
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