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Fairly Oddparents: Legend of Tootie-Prophecy of Dual Fate
By Kairi Taylor (Wii Version)


Author's Note: The trilogy of Timmy x Tootie stories is now complete, more or less. While this may be, in a matter of speaking my final FOP story concentrating on these two, I think maybe one day I can do another. It's a bit more centered on Tootie, however; bear with my romantic sensibilities for once & enjoy.

Oh yeah...you will notice certain changes to a couple of characters in relation to their age. It's intentional. As to why this is called the Wii version, go to Fanfiction.net & look this story up for the alternate ending...


"Well Timmy, this is another fine mess you've gotten yourself into."
15-year-old Timmy Turner, resident of Dimmsdale, freshman at Dimmsdale High has once again wished himself into a mess solely of his own design.
It started out foolishly enough. His father had bought him a vintage SNES set from Ebay, complete with a copy of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. The reasons why his father decided to buy him the system were twofold: one, he wanted to show his son just how video games were before he was born. Two, the one he had in college had finally given out on him and he couldn't live without his fix of Chrono Trigger.
After playing through the initial introduction & the first 5 dungeons, Timmy was hooked and hard. It was during the exploration of the Swamp Dungeon in the Dark World that Cosmo said the game reminded him of his childhood vacation in another world also populated by elves, but he had been kicked out a short time later. (Had something to do with the creation of some silly rings of power that he made for arts & crafts.) Against Wanda's urging, and because of the fact that he was very fascinated with the notion, Timmy said to his Godparents 'I wish Dimmsdale was like the land of Hyrule.'
And as the beginning of Samurai Shodown 2 said, it was no accident he was involved in the troubles.

One of the first things Timmy learned when he emerged in the now real as you can get land of Hyrule is that the wilds of the land are full of great and majestic creatures. Also many of them want to kill you. So his first meeting with Octrocks did not go too well, but he learned the value of wooden weapons like the boomerang. Also: Da Rules stated that the laws of certain mystical lands overrode certain laws in his world & Fairy World. In short: Cosmo & Wanda were not as powerful as they normally were. And the real kicker came when Timmy found his parents: Mom & Dad, by some strange twist of fate or convient use of a amateur writer's imagination, happened to be the King & Queen, meaning he was a full blown prince. Normally, this would be awesome, but as anyone who has played Zelda knows, being a member of the Royal Family makes you, well, a target for wizards. So Timmy was more than surprised when he was kidnapped by the great & terrible wizard Crocker. (Just Crocker. Nothing dumb like Crockerdorf. Give me some credit.) Only one of the bloodline of heroes could summon up the power to save him.
Which now leads into problem #2: If you are a member of the Royal Family of Hyrule, you have access to many powers & mystical treasures. What you do not have, however, is a direct link to the bloodline of heroes, nor very obedient & loyal servants. Directly under his father's command were Crocker as the Royal Wizard &, ironically enough, Leader of the Royal Guard, Vicki. With the inclusion of these two, sirens would normally go off in any other person's head. Sadly, neither Timmy nor his father thought otherwise. (Noticing the blatantly obvious was never their forte.) Therefore, the ease in which the two managed to capture them was unsurprising. Add to the fact that Trixie helped in the betrayal and concisely, everything that could possibly go wrong, DID go wrong.
Ah yes, Trixie. The high-ranking teenage debutante was hand picked by Timmy's father to be his future bride. A decision his mother strongly suggested against, but as we all know, Dad was never much of a listener...or a thinker...or a suitable role model. Look, the point is he was duped into picking Trixie as his son's future wife. Trixie seemed very cordial & affectionate towards Timmy, but as all who ever knew her could tell you, Trixie had no problem faking any emotion, especially interest in men. It was part of Crocker's rather elaborate, even for him, plan to gain control of the kingdom & get his hands on the Triforce. With Trixie's influence of the townspeople, Vicki's vicious control over the royal guard & his mystic powers, it was a shoo-in for him to become Supreme Overlord.
"Ah, Prince Turner, I'm glad to see you are enjoying your new accommodations." Crocker teleported in, wearing a rather elaborate set of purple wizard ropes, holding a long black staff with a gnarled end. Timmy, in royal blue prince dressings, currently found himself encased in a floating sphere of magical crystal, currently located over a large tablet depicting the Triforce.
"If, by enjoying, you mean loathing the fact that I'm trapped by a third rate magician, yeah I am SO thrilled." Timmy retorted. Crocker smiled, and then made a sweeping gesture with his hands. "Don't get your hopes up for a rescue, your Royal Highness. There's no one in Hyrule who can possibly stop me now!"
"Don't forget, there's still the Hero of Fate!"
"Pah, that old wives tale. Let's look at the candidates, shall we?" Crocker raised a hand and started counting off fingers. "Let's see, Chester...he's certainly prime material for a Hero...no, wait, he's lost somewhere in the Gerudo Training Grounds. A.J. is too busy looking for the mythical land of Termina to be of much help. Sanjay & Elmer..."
"Uh, please take this seriously."
"Sorry, I thought injecting a little humor would take the stress off. Then there is Veronica. I think we're both in agreement all of us are better off if she stays lost in the Lost Woods."
"Agreed. Wow, I'm pretty boned."
"Indeed. And with the power of the Triforce in my hands, there is nothing that can stop me from proving the existence of FAIRIES!" Crocker was on the verge of spasming as Timmy cleared his throat & replied "Uh, hello? Fairies are COMMON in Hyrule. I mean, look over there." Timmy pointed to a fairy floating overhead, making off with a piece of ham.
"Sorry. Strange habit of mine, I should know better." Timmy sighed. He may have finally wished himself into a dilemma where there was no chance for him to escape. Cosmo & Wanda were M.I.A. & his friends were not in a position to bail him out.
Nevertheless, there was one person Timmy always failed to consider.

Tootie, sister of Vicki, was a girl who loved Timmy from afar ever since they were little. (She loved him up close too, but the Royal Restraining Order kept her in check.) Her older, mean spirited sister constantly tormented her. Her love for Timmy went largely unnoticed. (Attributed to the fact that he was a shallow & simple-minded boy.) Of course, it didn't exactly help that she mostly kept to herself, since many of her fellow classmates were, to be fair, jerks.
Then, a few days earlier, her sister made her move. Within hours, she had the royal guard under her terrible control & ordered them to secure the towns & dungeons nearby in order to find clues as to the location of the Triforce, Hyrule's most sacred artifact. Trixie, who turned out to be High Priestess of the Wizzrobes, managed to make things difficult for anyone who would dare openly approach Hyrule Castle. It looked EXTREMELY hopeless. Not even the Legendary Knight, Chuck Norris, was around to be of much help. That's right, I snuck in a Chuck Norris joke. Last one, I swear.
It was at this point in time that her mother whisked her away & took her to the great Sage Impa, their next door neighbor with the purple cats. Impa then told Tootie of her family heritage: she was of the bloodline of heroes who would be called upon to defend the kingdom in times of peril. Vicki was also part of the bloodline, but her heart was steeped in a state of perpetual darkness. (Translation: Mega bitch.) Therefore, Tootie was needed to find the only weapon capable of defeating Crocker: The Master Sword.
So, 4 dungeons, one fishing excursion, 20 side missions involving trading and a Tingle encounter best not described for fear of reprisal from the authorities later, Tootie found herself in the Hyrulian Library, a large building on the outskirts of Kakariko Village, the Book of Mudora in hand. She approached the librarian, Miss Waxoplax, who was busy devouring a large fish sandwich. "Ohh, hello Tootie, it's nice to see you again!" Waxoplax cooed.
"Nice to see you too!" Tootie replied, giving her a slight nod. "Listen, I don't have much time, but I was sent here by the sage Master Dimmadome to see you."
"Oh, he's trying to rope me into one of his rupee hunts again, isn't he?" Waxoplax sighed, rolling her eyes as she dealt with the thought of that man's past attempts at getting her hard earned money. "Dearie, do me a favor & tell that sage that if he doesn't quit playing mahjong at the temple, I'll personally ring his-"
"No no, he wanted me to show this to you. He said you would be able to help me save Prince Timmy." Tootie handed the Book of Mudora over to Waxoplax. Upon seeing it, she immediately put her hands over her mouth. "Oh my, so you ARE the Heroine of Fate!" Waxoplax stood up & pulled down one of her sleeves. On her wrist was the symbol of the Royal Family tattooed onto her skin. "It was always my suspicion that the bloodline still existed, but to think it was you who would fulfill the prophecy-my, you are just FULL of surprises. Perhaps now you can catch the attention of young Prince Timmy."
"You think?" Tootie's eyes lit up, but a second later, she sighed, souring rather quickly. "But he'll probably just run away from me like he always does."
"Oh, don't be such a pessimist. That was a long time ago, when you two were young & didn't know any better. He hasn't seen much of you, so who knows how he'll react when you save him. Besides, you have grown into a fine young woman and you've really cut down on the obsessive stalking. He'd be a stupid, shallow, inconsiderate jerk to pass you up."
"You do know who we are talking about, right?"
"Don't worry, I have a feeling things will work out somehow. Now then, if you will, follow me. I know someone who would like to have a word with you." Waxoplax rose from her seat behind the librarian's desk & gestured for Tootie to follow her.

At the back of the storeroom, which had an extremely large amount of spiced hams, Waxoplax led Tootie to a large, wooden bookcase stacked to the brim with an assortment of books, save for a slot where one more could be placed. Tootie looked to Waxoplax & asked "So, do I place the Book there?"
"Oh no, nothing so pedestrian as that!" Waxoplax replied. "Why, if I had a green rupee for every bookcase designed like that..." Waxoplax turned to a statue of Sir Dinkleberg, which had been declared illegal to display in public by the king, & twisted the head off, then pressed the button on the inside. A panel in the floor slid open, revealing a staircase that lead deep into the basement of the library. Grabbing a lantern, Waxoplax handed it to Tootie & said, "A friend of ours is waiting downstairs. You'd be doing yourself a favor if you pay attention to her."
Descending downstairs, Tootie eventually arrived in a large, cavernous room, large enough to fit a small army. Several columns, carved from stone, lined the area, each depicting one of the 3 great Goddesses of Hyrule holding a piece of the Triforce. At the end of the room stood a great stone door, with the Royal Family Seal painted across. Before it stood Queen Turner, wrapped in brown robes. "So, you've finally arrived, Tootie." Queen Turner smiled. In a show of respect, Tootie bowed before the Queen, but Queen Turner merely placed her hand on Tootie's shoulder & said, "Now now, there's no need for such formalities. We've got quite a bit of business to take care of. So, were you successful?"
Nodding, Tootie said "It was real tough gathering the 4 Coins of The Elements, especially with that creepy Tingle following me in the Forest Mansion, but here they are, safe and sound." Tootie produced a set of four large coins, each of them with a different glowing symbol emblazed on them. The Queen carefully looked over them, saying "Oh, your father would be so proud of you right now Tootie! If only he weren't locked away in the dungeon of our castle."
"Tell me about it," Tootie sighed. "And if it wasn't for my mom's quick thinking, we'd be in the dungeon too. I guess Vicki took her allowance cut a little too seriously."
"I never did trust her, personally." Queen Turner said. "She always had that odd evil laugh of hers. Plus that song by the Minstrel Chip, 'Icky Vicki' was a dead giveaway. I think it should have been even more obvious after he got tossed into the dungeon too." Queen Turner then turned & looked at the huge door & said, "In any case, beyond this door lies the Master Sword, the only weapon powerful enough to defeat Crocker. Only with that sword & my son's help can you hope to put an end to his reign of terror. Now then, use the Book of Mudora & read the inscription in the door here."
Closely looking at the symbols the Queen pointed to, Tootie looked through the book for the proper translation. After a short 3 minutes, Tootie said, "Um, it reads 'This door carved by Gimli The Grand.' Is that important?"
"Oh sorry, I meant the one at my left. Try again."
Tootie looked at the runes pointed out by the Queen & read aloud "When the shadow of darkness envelopes the land, the one chosen by destiny shall stand before the door & present proof of their courage, power & wisdom."
"What does that mean?" asked the Queen. Removing one of her gloves, Tootie turned to her & replied, "It means I have to do this." On the back of her hand, the symbol of the Triforce glowed, golden in appearance. She raised her hand high & the 4 Coins of the Elements all resonated with an eerie pulse of their own. The floor shook & with a shudder, the door slid open. Inside, in a stone pedestal was the Master Sword. Before it stood a rather irritated, somewhat relieved however Jorgen Von Strangle. Instead of his standard army fatigues however, he was adorned with a massive suit of camouflaged armor.
"FINALLY! What took you so long, Heroine?" Jorgen boomed. "I've been waiting here all week! Do you know what it's like waiting for a chosen one in a magically sealed chamber with only a sword as a companion?!"
"I imagine it is not very pleasant." Tootie replied, not caring to hear of his irritation. "I need that sword if I wanna save Timmy, right?"
"Yes, but that's not all you need to do, little one" Jorgen explained "in addition to the standard rescue of the Royal Family Member, I am also obligated to tell you that you need to find the Triforce as well. Only it's power can undo the evil that Crocker has unleashed upon your world. Plus, it'll make the climax of this rather illogical story make sense."
"Noted."
"The place where the Triforce is actually hidden lies somewhere within the palace itself. However, there is an ancient magic worked into it's design. It takes the power of two to open it and one of those powers stems from the Royal Family. The safety of Timmy is imperative to the mission."
"It's part of the 'Dual Fate' prophecy." Queen Turner added. "I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but the important thing to remember is I'm officially giving you my consent to date my son."
"Yay! Ok then, stand back! I've got a hunk to save!"
"I do not require saving, little one!"
"Not you...although you do have awesome muscles."
"Thank you."
Stepping up to the pedestal where the Master Sword stood, Tootie let out a long sigh. Grasping the handle with her left hand, she gave a slight tug and the Master Sword easily came loose. And yes, there was the standard fanfare music that sounded whenever Link pulled out the Master Sword, but this is text. So use your imagination, or fire up your SNES, Wii, N64 or GBA, play Zelda and get your inspiration from there.
"Oh, I almost forgot. I found these two bottles hidden in Crocker's room before I escaped the castle. Maybe they can help you." Queen Turner handed over two small bottles with glowing lights, one green and one pink. "Ohhh, fairy bottles." Tootie accepted the gifts and said, "This is kind of unusual. I mean, normally fairies around here are just blue." Curiosities overtaking her, Tootie popped open the bottles. From within their glass confines, Cosmo & Wanda emerged. (You didn't think I'd forget about them, now did you?)
"Hey, we're free!! Finally, I was worried that nutcase was never gonna let us go!" Wanda gasped.
"More importantly, where's my pudding? I was promised pudding!" Cosmo replied. Looking at the assorted people gathered in the chamber, Cosmo pointed out "Oh look, it's all the people who are not Timmy."
"Who are you two?" Queen Turner asked. "Oh, we are a couple of fairies that Prince Timmy found in the Lost Woods a long time ago." Wanda quickly explained.
"That's right, we're just random fairies and in no way, shape or form really Timmy's Fairy G-" Cosmo's mouth was quickly covered by Wanda's hand before Jorgen interjected, asking " Shouldn't you two be rewarding her for freeing you two from Crocker's grasp?"
"Right. How about a new pair of boots!" Cosmo pointed his wand & transformed the footwear Tootie wore. "These are the latest models of Pegasus Boots. They allow you to run real fast, and best of all the wings look real cool." Tootie noted that the Pegasus Boots seemed to have bat wings instead of the standard angelic wings. "I don't think Pegasus was a blind, nocturnal mammal."
"R&D Department has a lot of Goth kids on payroll this year." Wanda explained. "Anyway, since you'll be going up against the Wizzrobe tribe as well, I think this will give you a bit of an edge." Raising her wand, Wanda transformed Tootie's red shield into a large blue shield with the crest of the Royal Family on it. "This shield, along with the Master Sword, can repel any magic attack. It also makes a handy battering ram."
"Good to know!" Tootie said. "Now then, all I have to do is get into the castle & put a hurting on Crocker. Any suggestions?"
"I've always felt comfortable with running in head first, beating down on all puny wimps who stand in my way." Jorgen suggested.
"Yay indiscriminate violence!"
"Sweetie, if it's not much of a bother, we would like to come with you." Wanda asked.
"Oh sure, you are Timmy's fairies after all. I also have a feeling I'm gonna need all the help I can find."

The light of the crescent moon dimly lighted the outer area of Hyrule Castle that night . (No full moon was in this current cycle. I know, a battle in the light of a full moon would be kick ass...) The guards of the wall were, as usual, on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary, under the very specific orders of Commander Vicki. As the two paced back and forth in front of the castle's gates, one of them noted "Hey, you know one of the things that sucks about being an undead minion of Crocker?"
"The hours? You can't complain about the hours. We are zombies after all & we can never know the joy of basking in the warm sun again."
"Aside from that, it's the down time. We don't get to raid any nearby kingdoms or ravage any of the villages like in the old days. I mean our old boss, Vlad, he at least gave us carte blanche during our personal time."
"Yeah, I know, what can you do, being undead isn't exactly the easiest thing to...Cor blimey, what is THAT?!"
"I dunno, whatever it is, it's charging right at us. I think it's a teenage girl with a fairy riding a pink horse."
"A girl? On a pink horse?! Are you serious, I mean you gotta be---URK!!!"
Whatever thoughts the two minions had, they were forever silenced as Tootie took the liberty to cut their heads off with a swing of the Master Sword. If you haven't guessed by now, Wanda had volunteered herself to become Tootie's trusty steed, while Cosmo elected to take the scenic route from aside Tootie.
Wanda galloped fiercely into the large garden that oversaw the entrance to Hyrule Castle, where several more undead soldiers awaited Tootie's arrival. From a nearby rampart, 3 Moblins tok aim with their bows & arrows. "I don't mean to sound like a worrywart, but maybe rushing in wasn't the best idea." Cosmo comented. Wanda replied, quite curtly "I distictivley recall you cheering for indiscriminate violence."
"And since when has any of my suggestions ever been taken seriously?"
Tootie, in true heroic fashion, took the time to whip out her own bow and arrow & shot three lightning fast arrows at the Moblins, one arrow embedding itself in a helm, the other knocking the Moblins into the moat. Turning her attention to the soldiers, Tootie lept off of Wanda, sword drawn & landed on her two feet. With the ferocity of a hungry wolf, Tootie slashed horizantialy at the first two to attack, taking them out. A third soldier attempted to attack her from her right. nimbly, Tootie lept to the side, then tucked & rolled away from the follow up attack, responding with a rising deep slash of her own from his rear. Whipping out her hookshot, she aimed & fired, embedding the hook into another soldier. She pulled him to her & use his body to take down another set of approaching attackers. Then, from above, a red armored Moblin leapt down, axe in hand. As he dashed towards Tootie, she smiled, asking herself, "Do these guys actually put ANY effort in their fighting or are Moblins this dumb?" Before he could swing, Tootie smacked him in the face with her shield, stunning him. It was then followed by a feat of acrobatic genius; Tootie front flipped over the Moblin, striking him in the head with the Master Sword before she landed. She sheathed it slowly, the wind billowing in the background as the Moblin fell to the ground behind her.
"Think we got their attention?" Wanda asked.
"I've got a better question; when did you learn to backflip & stab a guy in the face like that?" Cosmo wondered. Before Tootie could answer, a couple of remaining soldiers, hiding in the bushes next to the palace door, leapt out, spears drawn. Tootie quickly turned and slashed them across the chests, felling them in a mere 2 seconds. She twirled her sword & sheathed it again, replying, "It's amazing what they teach in the Girl Scouts."
The inside of the castle was seemingly void of any and all life. And in a way, that is accurate: we are, after all dealing with the Undead. As Tootie entered the huge gathering hall of Hyrule Castle, across the way, two huge doors leading into the further reaches of the palace opened. A phanlax of soldiers rushed out towards her, tridents raised. Seemingly unfazed, Tootie raised the Master Sword to her left side, both hands firmly gripping the handle. With a mighty yell, she leapt foward, coming down with a vicious downwards slash before spinning on her feet ad wiping out the rest of her attackers. As she turned to face the remaining duo, one asked her timidly, "Just out of curiousity, who are you?"
"My name is Tootie, Heroine of Fate & hated sister of Vicki!"
"Vicki's SISTER?! Geez, the older one was bad enough! That's it, I can't do this anymore. I'm going back to the graveyard, what about you?"
"I for one choose death."
So, in that moment, one zombie soldier decided to retire to the graveyards adjacent to the castle while the other commited a rather spectacular suicide by stuffing several Bombchus into his shorts.

"Well Prince Turner, it seems that we have hit a snag in our plans." Crocker was accompanied by Trixie, who non chalantly toyed with a small Keese in its cage. "There's someone downstairs in the main hall of the castle making mincemeat of my minions. And they were so hard to acquire too, not easy to raise your own undead."
"Meh, must be another of those so-called 'Heroes' planning a coup." Trixie waved her hand dismissively and said "Vicki will mop the floor with this chump."
"Actually," Crocker replied, eyebrows raised in surprise, "The 'Hero' is a 'Heroine' that is doing the damage."
"What?! It couldn't be...I better look into this myself." Trixie rose & teleported off as Timmy hoped, for all that it was worth, that is was not Veronica that was downstairs making a rescue attempt.
Stop kidding yourself, you know darn well who it really is.
No, I don't, Timmy thought. And who are you anyway?

Well, I sure as shooting heck ain't your conscience. He was a Irish brogue. I'm someone else entirely. And like I said, we both already know who it is.

Who? There isn't any other girl who is in love with me, other than...oh no.

Bingo!

Oh c'mon, anyone but her! Why can't it be Trixie?!

Why shouldn't it be Tootie?

Because...well...

I'm waiting, Kemosabe. Come on, throw some lame excuse or something.

The girl's hyperactive, she follows me everywhere I go, she keeps pictures of me in her room everywhere...

Yes, but she actually LOVES you. Unlike Trixie, who is superficial & stuck up and Veronica, who only harbors a crush on you because you have that obsession with Trixie. She always stuck up for you, and she genuinely cares how you feel. And it's not like you can go back to that Cindy Vortex girl. You know that Jimmy kid has her heart. And she has grown into quite a lovely woman these past few years.

I suppose...

Admit it, you've been sneaking peeks at her ever since she lost the braces. And that dream you had the other night...the one with...

HEY!!! We have more immediate problems right now.

Prude.



Tootie approached the huge double doors leading to the upper levels of Hyrule Castle, having already dispatched the majority of the undead minions in her wake. "Wow, you're pretty good at zombie killing." Cosmo said to her. "You do this often?"

"Nah, I read a lot of old books about ghosts in my spare time." Tootie replied. "Speaking of which, do we have to keep this?" Tootie held up one of her bottles, which contained a Poe.

"It's a pesky hobby of his." Wanda replied.

"Now isn't this a kick in the pants? My own little sister thrashes my guards & thinks she can save some royal twerp!"

Tootie, going on pure instinct, leaps backwards just in time to avoid being hit across the face from the large spiked ball aimed at her. Vicki came out from the shadows of one of the columns of the room, dressed in the Darknut armor of old, an evil grin plastered across her face. "I was wondering what you & Mom were up to. Oh the shame of knowing that your own wimpy sister is the so-called 'Heroine' of this tale. God, how lame."

"Big talk, coming from someone who would sell out her own family!" Tootie replied grimly, tightly gripping the Master Sword.

"Hey, money & power, that's what I live for. That and the misery of others. Now sis, I'd love to prolong your suffering, but I've got a lot on my plate. Get ready to join Dad in prison."

Hoisting the mace, Vicki swung it high around her head & attacked Tootie. Deflecting the ball with her shield, Tootie utilized the speed given to her by the Pegasus Boots to quickly evade the majority of her attacks. Vicki became frustrated, yelling "Blast it, stay still you twig so I can break you!!"

"Nah, I prefer things the way they are." Tootie shot back. As she ducked one swing at her head, Tootie quickly launched her boomerang towards Vicki's helmet. The attack knocked it off, and as Vicki stood there dazed, Tootie dashed up in front of her sister & said "Let me show you something else Dad taught me." With a thunderous yell, Tootie swung on her left foot in a wide arc several times, executing a powerful spin slash, felling her wicked sister. As Vicki went into La-La land, Cosmo searched her. "Anything useful we can use?" Wanda asked her husband.

"Let's see...big key, compass, wallet...nope, nothing. Ohhh, GUM!!!"

"Wait, we can use these two items." Tootie took the key and compass. "This compass can home in on Timmy's location."

"Why is that?" Wanda asked, curious about the compass and its long unexplained function.

"I once put a homing bug on Timmy when he wasn't looking."



Trixie could not believe it. Somehow, in the span of an hour, the impertinent girl that stood before her managed to wipe out her loyal Wizzrobe followers & undo the spells she had cast on the castle & the town. Narrowing her eyes, she looked carefully at the green tunic clothed bespectacled girl before her. "You...you're that Tootie girl from Kakariko village, right?"

"And you're the self absorbed hussy who got her hooks into my man!" Tootie shot back. "You've got a lot of nerve doing what you did."

"Oh, really? Did it surprise you that a person of my caliber would so easily turn on your 'beloved' prince?"

"No, it doesn't. In fact, I handed a 15-page reconnaissance report to the Queen detailing why you were a poor choice for a bride. I even posted an ad in the newspaper calling for your removal."

"That was you? I could have sworn it was Veronica! In any case, I'll show you the true terror of the Wizzrobes power!"

Trixie raised both her hands, launching a large, purple ball of fire at Tootie. Raising her shield, Tootie deflected the ball to the ceiling. She dashed to strike at the sorceress, but Trixie quickly disappeared. She reappeared behind Tootie a few feet away, launching an ice beam. Tootie rolled away from the sub zero blast, rushing towards Trixie's position, but she once again teleported. "Great, I can't get a bead on her, now what?" Tootie growled in frustration.

"Magic must defeat magic." Cosmo cryptically stated.

"That was somewhat familiar & oddly specific." Wanda replied.

"I think I know what he means." Tootie stood her ground, eyeing the area for any signs that Trixie would appear. As she had hoped, a voice behind her taunted "So much for saving that loser of a prince." With lightning speed, Tootie whipped around, raising the shield in order to redirect the lightning bolt aimed at her. The lightning bolt struck Trixie, giving her a massive shock and sending her flying in a smoking mess through the nearby window.

"Ah, darn it! I wanted to personally smash those pretty features of hers in with my fist."



Now, you would think that the journey to the final confrontation between Crocker & Tootie would be an epic battle of legendary proportions, filled with sword battles & stunts the likes of which you would tell your children about for years on end. But it was not, for the majority of the guards had already been dispatched. Also, my damn hands are cramping up. Very few people can tolerate two straight hours of typing. And story telling ain't easy damn it, you know what I'm saying. It's hard enough to come up with dialogue for Cosmo. However, let's not worry about that. I have some kick ass music from Phoenix Wright playing on my headphones to soothe me. (From the orchestrated album no less, how's then apples.) So let's continue with the story...ok, fine, I'll throw this in to break up the mood...





OBJECTION!!!!



Right...

Tootie pushed the doors to the chamber where Timmy was being held open, and she gasped at the sight of Timmy in his crystal prison. Below him sat Crocker, playing an ominous melody on a large black pipe organ. He turned to see Tootie & said to her "Oh, you came sooner than I expected. I was in the middle of tuning this organ. Mother's got a recital this weekend."

"Your subordinates were pushovers & your commanders were idiots." Tootie replied. Crocker shrugged & said, "Unfortunately, you're dealing with me now, the head honcho, the big cheese. Usually that means I'm ten times more powerful than them. Now then, what was I gonna do.."

"Make a big dramatic speech about how you'll rule the world?" Wanda asked.

"Nah, usually they say stuff about how they knew along what the heroes were up to." Cosmo said.

"It could be a combination of the two, plus a broad declaration of how he is all powerful." Tootie suggested.



"Well, you're all right." Crocker said. "I heard about the 'Dual Fates' prophecy in my internship at Evil Wizard Enterprises. It requires the power of both the Hero of Fate & The Royal Family to open the chamber of the Triforce. It's bound to be somewhere in this castle, but before I can find it, I intend to use your powers to open it for me."

"You do realize, of course, it's also my duty to hand you what may be the worst ass kicking of your life. I'm just stating that now." Tootie said as she raised the Master Sword in preparation for battle.

"We'll see about that!" Crocker flew to the top of the room & raised one hand, forming a black sphere of concentrated dark magic, and hurled it at Tootie. The Master Sword, however, easily absorbed the energy & deflected it back towards Crocker, who barely managed to evade it. "Ok, note to self, don't do what Trixie did. Stick with what you know." Crocker dived down, staff at hand & engaged Tootie in combat.

Meanwhile, as the two foes fought, Cosmo & Wanda both poofed in front of Timmy's crystal. "Hey, where have you two been all this time?" Timmy asked in concern for their safety.

"Crocker had captured us while you were off gallivanting with a certain dark haired Temptress." Wanda said, her tone somewhat disapproving.

"We were promised pudding."

"Be that as it may, it's a good thing you guys went along with Tootie. Now get me out of here."

"Uhhhhh..."

"Oh no, Da Rules right?"

"Yes. See, when you wished that this world be more like Hyrule, the rules of that land superceded Da Rules..."

"So what we're saying is you're not the main character."

"Figures. Ok then, you've got to make Tootie break this chamber open so I can help her."

"No problem sport...uh, how do we do that?"

"GET AWAY FROM THAT CRYSTAL!!!"

"GET AWAY FROM MY MAN!!!"

One missed swing from Tootie's sword later & Timmy found himself on the ground next to Tootie. Timmy looked up at Crocker and said, "Thanks for the assist."


"BLAST!!! All right then, looks like we will handle this the hard way. Let's see if you two can function with zero visibility!"

From the ground, a large black mist enveloped the area surrounding the two. Squinting, Timmy said, "Look, I think I can help you beat Crocker. Do you have any arrows on you?"

"A few. Why?" Tootie handed over an arrow to Timmy & he held it in his grasp. The arrow transformed into pure silver & Timmy said "Trust me, all I need is one good shot."

"Leave that to me." Tootie produced her boomerang & with a great heave, launched it. A huge gust of wind followed behind it, dispatching the mist & exposing Crocker, who was charging up a massive black ball of energy. He launched it before he can stop himself, and Tootie, with a smirk, slashed it right back at Crocker, who was paralyzed on the spot. "Now Timmy!!"

"Consider this your two weeks notice." Cosmo transformed into a bow & Timmy used him to launch the silver arrow into Crocker."

"Oh poopie."

Crocker exploded in a rather impressive display of lights and faded away like the fog into the night. Timmy turned to Tootie & faced her, noting the light blush across on her face. "So...Tootie..."

"Prince Timmy..."

"Thanks for the rescue. I guess I owe you."

"Actually, I want to thank you too. I wouldn't have been able to beat Crocker without your help."

"True, but you deserve most of the credit. Besides you were the only one who went out of her way to try to save me...I think that counts for something." Timmy took hold of Tootie's left hand. Her light red blush deepened, but she noted that Timmy was blushing as well.

"Ahem. I think there is something you two should see." Cosmo pointed to the center of the chamber. A shaft of golden light appeared to erupt from the center of the floor. In a heartbeat, before the two appeared the Triforce. "Wow!" Timmy exclaimed. "To think, the Triforce had been here all this time, in Crocker's own chamber!"

"But why is it appearing now?" Tootie asked Wanda.

"Wanda, maybe it has to do with the fact that the prophecy states that when two people destined to be with each other meet in this chamber, the Triforce will appear before that couple to grant their wishes. Or it may be a plot device."

"You've been dropping a lot of very specific knowledge lately."

Tootie turned to Timmy and asked, rather meekly, "Are we really meant to be together?" Timmy shrugged his shoulders and replied, "If we are, I have no problem with it. Not as long as it's you."

"In that case...come on, let's make a wish. Together."

And so, hand in hand, Timmy & Tootie touched the Triforce.





It was another beautiful day in Dimmsdale, more so than usual. Timmy walked alongside Chester, who was relating a tale about his dad to Timmy. "I couldn't believe it! My dad made such an amazing triple play last night. The Dimmsdale Knights are a shoo in for the minor league playoffs!"

"Yeah, it was SO awesome. Too bad A.J. couldn't make it back from M.I.T. to see it with us. So, are you still on for tomorrow?"

"Sure, not everyday Dad throws an awesome BBQ! Make sure this time you bring the chicken."

"For the last time, it was Doidle that ate it all."

It was at this point that Timmy saw Tootie standing outside the local women's clothing store, admiring a very lovely pink prom dress. Chester noticed his friend staring and said "Well then, sly dog, I'll leave you to your own devices."

"Huh?"

"I mean I'll take my leave while you work up the courage to ask out Tootie on a date. A real date."

"You think pizza is not a real date?"

"Asking a girl to eat pizza with you after you both finish a session of Guitar Hero at the local Priority Purchase is NOT a date." Chester walked off and Timmy, mustering courage from within, approached Tootie. The events of what happened in Hyrule were still fresh in his mind, and only his mind. He had wondered if what had happened in Dimmsdale lately was the result of what she had wished for. For example, his former teacher, Mr Crocker, had finally gotten over his obsession for fairy godparents & world domination & finally worked the nerve to ask Ms. Waxoplax on a date. His timing, however needed work, as he asked her the minute she walked out of a bathroom stall. She would eventually say yes...several hours later, at the trauma center of the hospital. And Tootie's parents changed somehow too; they actually acted like responsible people & kept tabs on Vicki.

However, asking Trixie out...this would be a task that required all of his mental fortitude. He never hated Tootie or anything, it was quite the opposite these days. She was creepy & obsessive when they were younger & her affection for him at the time bordered on the unhealthy. But beyond that, there was a deeper affection she had. She genuinely cared about his feelings & always supported him, even in his biggest of failures, like during the hockey tryouts in 6th grade. She was also the only girl who actively tried to ask him to go to dances. Trixie was attractive, sure, but that was it. As time wore on, Timmy began to realize she was only concerned for her feelings, not the ones of anyone who asked her out. She was so insensitive, so self absorbed...

Kind of like you back in the day.

What?! Hey, when did you come back?!

I never left, I just needed to take a breather. That wish of yours, man, was that a wake up call. So, you're finally gonna grow a spine & try to get a date with her...

Yeah, you could say that...

Dude, just do it. You've been thinking a lot about her now. And don't make me bring up the fact that I know you tried to forget that time you peeked up her skirt or that time during summer vacation you 'sort of' looked down her blouse. And how about that time in gym class, when you practically had your cap in front of your shorts when you saw her for the first time in the new gym uniform--what was THAT about?

Geez, and I thought Winky had issues.

Nah, he's just repressed.

Timmy gulped, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. "Hey Tootie," he said, rather nervously, "You got a minute?" Wow, she looks really good now that I think about it.


"Oh hey Timmy. Nice to see you. I was just thinking about my sister."

"Something happened between you two?"

"Actually, it happened between her and my parents. They got wind of how she really treats the kids she baby sits."

"How'd that happen?"

"Someone left some very interesting photos and QuickTime movies in their email. They hope that military school teaches her some respect for humanity."

Both of them giggled at the thought of Vicki, longtime tormentor, finally receiving her comeuppance from her parents. "Listen, there's this Crimson Chin film festival coming up this weekend & I don't have anyone to go with...so..."

"Timmy Turner, are you asking me, and not Trixie Tang, out on a date?" Tootie slyly smiled.

"Sure, why not?" Timmy answered. Tootie lightly kissed Timmy on the cheek. "Pick me up at noon." She said. Winking, Tootie sauntered off & Timmy looked at her, dreaming of the possibilities that weekend could open up.


And that's it. Really. I would tell you what Timmy & Tootie really wished for, but I think you already have a clue. The whole moral of the story is that love is an odd force that transcends even Da Rules, but that is so cliché, so let's go with the default moral: be mindful of what you wish for. Some people of course still don't learn that rule...and there are some who, for all intents and purposes make honest mistakes, like this person...



"Well, this is the story of my life. Just another weird thing rearing it's supernatural head."
Jasmine 'Jazz' Fenton tried to lead a normal life, really. She wanted nothing more than to have parents who worked a normal 9-5 job, a brother who didn't have to worry about the latest Specter of The Week slaming his face into the side of a bus and a successful career as a child psychologist. It's something every down to Earth woman wants. Well, if these down to Earth women had families tied to the supernatural.
What she got this week was just staggering.
She grunted in frustration as she tagged the last Metroid in the chamber with a shot from the Ice Beam weapon she selected from her arm cannon. With little thought, she switched over to her missle systems & fired an extra powerful volley at the frozen creature, shattering it to pieces. "Amazing, though, how do the little guys manage to stay afloat even in that state?" She was also amazed at how easy it was to use the Chozo battle armor she was equipped with; The Varia upgrade was especially useful after her exploration of the Magamoor Caverns.
A small screen on her visor opened up & Danny's face appeared. Danny was currently waiting for his sister in the ship on Zebes. He had a smile on his face as he told her "Wow, you've made quite a bit of progress in 55 minutes. You sure you didn't say what you said by accident?"
"Real funny, Danny." Jazz scowled. Checking the readings on her energy level, she asked, "Any idea where Desiree is?"
"Knowing what I know, she has to be holed up in Tourian. All you gotta do now is go kill off Mother Brain, catch Desiree and we can reverse all this. Good thing I built the Fenton Thermos into your suit."
"Mother Brain? Ugh, why me?"
"Because you were the wise guy who said 'I wish I could do what Samus does' out loud while playing Metroid Prime Hunters."
"How was I supposed to know a genie was going to walk by & grant that stupid wish?!"