FicWad

There was laughter. It was something that Tara had not heard in years. Ever since she had lost Willow to the darkside. And somehow, her love never was able to bring her back. It had been twenty years since that had happened. And Sunnydale, the whole world, was nothing like it used to be. Darkness hung over everything that surround her.
But today was a special day for the witch. She was proud of her little ones. They had managed to survive all the attacks of their mother. Not intentionally, but some of Willow's attempts to get her children back had ended up harming her little ones. It's what lead to the darkness that now surrounded her every waking moment.
The laughter sounded again, bringing her back from the past. The thoughts that would never stop haunting her. The continuous thought of how she could have done things differently so that things would not have turned out this way. For no matter what, she would love her Willow. If only that had been enough.
"Mother, please!" A very much grown up Jenny was standing in the doorway to her bedroom where Tara had been getting ready. "We actually have a few minutes of peace and quiet. Who knows how long this is gonna happen. We have to celebrate. Especially now that you are a grandmother."
Tara smiled up at her daughter. It was so wonderful to be able to see the next generation come into the world. But she had to wonder if it was so wise to keep the line going. Life was not exactly worth living anymore. But she went on. If only because her two children were there with her. As well as the newly arrived granddaughter.
"I know." Tara slowly stood up. She looked at herself in the mirror. Though she was now only barely forty years old, there were hints of grey in her hair. Her blond locks were slowly turning to silver. It seemed that with everything happening, she was aging faster then she should be. "The grey hairs on my head remind me of that fact every day. Now, let's go and celebrate."
Jenny lead her mother out into the larger living room. There were shelves that Xander, before his accident, had made for the books and other magickal items that Tara had collected over the years. She had enchanted the shelves so that not even Willow could get her hands on them without Tara being there. If only that had been enough.
"Where's Johnny?" Tara looked around the room. Her son-in-law was usually the first to be there. But he wasn't anywhere that she could sense. "We can't get started without him here. He would want to celebrate the blessing of his son."
Jenny looked down at her hands for a moment. It was her shy side that she had inherited from both her mothers coming out. She hated it when her mother forgot things. It always made it hard for her to have to deal with things that had happened so long ago in the past. Making her relive them over and over. It made it difficult to even somewhat come to terms with the past.
"Remember?" Jenny's voice was sad and quiet. It was like a distant whispering wind that can barely be heard. But that could still seemed that there was something trying to be said. Without actually having to say it. "Two weeks ago?"
Tara stared into those green eyes that were so much like the ones in her everything. It sometimes gave her chills when she saw those eyes and how much they reminded her of Willow. The witch tried to think. She tried to remember. There were times when she had trouble remembering what happened such a short time ago. But the past would ever haunt her. It would never let her forget what happened.
The greying blond searched those eyes for answers. Till she remembered what had happened to her poor unfortunate son-in-law. "Your mother." It was barely audible. But it was enough to let Jenny know that she remembered. "I'm sorry. I wish I'd quit forgetting these things. It's not like any of us want to dwell on them."
Jenny nodded her head sadly. Thinking about what her own mother did to her husband made her sick to her stomach. But she had finally figured out a way to get revenge. Her mother never saw it coming. That also made her sick to her stomach. Thinking that she could let her power get away from her as easily as her mother had. And seeing the path that had lead her on. It scared her, especially now that she had the little one to take care of alone.
"Well, I hope I haven't ruined things too much." Tara walked over to the little playpen where her granddaughter, Buffy, was playing. Seeing her reminded her of how the slayer had met her doom at the hands of her best friend. "This little one needs her blessing."
"That's for sure." Jenny made her way over by her mother. There were those in Willow's coven that had taken her death badly. Willow had not always been the most gracious of leaders, but she had commanded loyalty. And there were those that were there that would do anything to avenge their former boss. "Wonder where Xander and Anya are? They're usually here by now."
"Not sure." Tara closed her eyes for a moment. It was one of the things that she had learned to do over the years. She could sense where anyone that she knew was. And the closer she was to that person, the easier it was for her to locate them. Xander had stood by her more then any of the scoobies had. "I'm not sensing him."
"Could be he's using that cloaking spell that I taught him." Jenny quickly picked up her baby who was still laughing from time to time. "It could come in handy if he thinks he's being followed. I'm sure that's what it is." She held tight to the little one knowing that what she had said was probably not even close to being true.
"Jenny." Tara's voice was soft yet firm at the same time. "We've discussed doing this." Jenny's eyes met with hers. "We can't just hide the truth or possible truth from ourselves. We can't say that everything is all right. Especially when we know that there is so much danger out there in the world for us."
"I know." Jenny kissed the top of Buffy's head. "But it's easier then facing the truth. And it eases the pain, if only somewhat." Their eyes met again. "You can always keep trying to sense him. I'm sure that it'll be no time and you'll be able to find him. Whether he's alive or not."
Tara smiled proudly at her little girl. Well, her grown daughter. Images of both her and Willow holding her when she was so little flashed into her mind. It was a simpler time, even with fighting the bad guys. It was a time when she had everything that she had ever dreamed of in her life. How soon it was all torn away from her.
She shook her head so that she could focus on Xander and Anya even though she was certain that they were no longer alive. And that made her angry. If only for a brief moment, it made her more angry then she had been in a few weeks. She had managed to contain her anger. If she hadn't, she would have ended up like Willow.
The witch let her mind totally open up. She usually didn't do that in case that there was someone out there watching her. Willow had nearly destroyed her mind by accident. Just because she had wanted to take control of her body so that she would bring the babies to her. But she had fought back. And it had nearly destroyed both of them.
She could see the path that Xander and Anya would travel. It was one that had been setup a long time ago. It was protected by charms and other protection spells. There was an escape route should something happen. They should have been safe, if they had stayed on that path. But something could have made them stray from their path.
That's when she saw the blood. There was so much of it. She hadn't seen anything like that since they had fought Willow when she had tried sacrificing live pigs to a God that claimed to have control over people's minds. That had been a fierce battle. But then, all of their battles had been quite fierce. When one was battling for their children it was always a battle to end the earth. Or something like that.
The sight of the blood gave her chills. She knew what was coming in the next vision she saw. And yet, she was not nearly prepared for what she saw. Both Xander and Anya had been skinned alive. That had become a favorite way for Willow to torture someone. She would slowly strip their skin off. The screams of pain were agony to hear.
Quickly, she closed her mind. She had seen enough. It was always too much. She hated to let herself open up. Only pain and anger followed. She so did not need that in her life. Life was already too painful for words. And then to have more things just piled upon her. It was not fair at all. And there wasn't anything she could do about it.
Or was there? Tara put her hand on Jenny's shoulder. "I have to go. Xander and Anya need me. You stay here with Buffy. Take care of her no matter what. She's all that we have left and I can't lose that. I am so tired of losing. I won't lose anymore."
"Mother?" Jenny did not like the sound of her mother's tone. She knew that her mother would fight until the day that she died. But to her, it sounded like se was giving up and going to just let the anger wash over her. That was basically like giving up. "What are you going to do?"
"Don't worry." Tara kissed little Buffy on the top of the head. "I won't let anything happen to me. I can't. I'm all that you two have to protect you. You aren't as strong as me. At least, not yet. But in time, you will be. And you will be able to survive without me. But I have something that I have to do. So, let me go."
Jenny stared after her mother, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. This was supposed to be a day of celebration. But it was turning into any other day. One more tragedy that had to happen. But why? Why did there have to be so much tragedy and pain and anger in the world? It wasn't fair. It felt like she was watching her mother walk to her demise. And she could no longer hold back the tears.

The silvery blond hair blew gently in the wind. The witch stood tall and proud as she was at the one place that she had vowed she'd never go to. Not because she did not want to. In fact, she hungered every day to be at this place. To find some kind of peace in her life. To let things finally settle inside of her.
The place had its scars from battle. The battle had raged on. Long and hard. When it had finally ended, this was the place that her lovers body had finally rested. It was the spot that had seen it turn instantly to ash. The body had been used and abused. There was nothing left for it. Therefore, it returned to the earth that it had come from.
But she remembered it. Tara had even set up a memorial of sorts. The others had protested that she put up such a shrine to someone that had dedicated their lives to evil. But she remembered the good side of Willow. She remembered what she was like before her soul had been lost. It was as if she had been turned into a vampire. That would be the best way to describe it. That her soul was gone and what was left in its place was nothing but cruelty.
Tara stood and tears streaked her pale skin. She would always mourn for the loss of her lover. There was nothing that could take her place. It was just that simple to her. She would rather live a life alone then to ever even attempt to feel the way that she did about her Willow. Even after all that had been done and said.
The witch held out her hands over the makeshift grave. "Hear me, oh spirit. I call upon the one that belonged to these ashes. I call upon the soul. I call not upon the devil that took over the fragile body. I wish to speak to the one that I know so well. And that knows me oh so well. Come forth, I command you."
There was barely a swirling of wind. At first, Tara had thought that she had failed in her attempt to communicate with her beloved. But then, there was a flashing of light. Not too bright, just white and yellow lights flashing about. They swirled around until a form began to take shape. And the witch knew what form that was.
"Willow!" She could barely contain her joy at seeing her Willow. Not as the dark haired veiny person that she had become. But the radiant young red head that had immediately stolen her heart. "It's really you!"
"Of course it is." Willow looked at her Tara. "You've changed. What's happened while I've been gone? I can't remember anything after what happened in the cave. Did I do something? Is that why I've been gone so long? Is that why I can't remember?"
Tara burst into tears. "You let the evil take hold of you. You became the most feared creature upon the earth. It took your own daughter to be the one to destroy you. And let's just say that things are still rather dark around here. When your light went out, it took all the light with it. I don't know how I've lived as long as I have without you."
Willow swallowed hard. "You, no doubt, did it for Alexander and for Jenny. You would be the one that would give them strength in this time of horror. You were always the stronger of the two of us. I just didn't realize how so. You are the stronger one because you can control what you feel. You can control the power that thrives inside of you. If only I had been that strong..."
A soft say escaped Tara. "What's in the past is in the past. The reason I came here to talk to you is so that you'll help me now. Xander and Anya have just crossed over. I don't know if you've come across Buffy, Faith, or Giles. They were one of your first victims. It scared me how you, the evil that took over you, could so easily kill your friends."
"That's what evil does." Willow looked like she was going to be ill. "I can't believe that all of them are dead. And because of me. Or what I let happen. I can't grasp it, yet I know it's true. I wish there was some way that I could help now. If only..."
"There is one thing that you can do." Tara took a step closer. "You can guide them now. It will help make up for what has become of you. You need to redeem your soul. It's the only way that you and the earth will find the peace that it seeks. You must redeem yourself."
Willow nodded her head. "You are right. I know this. But how? How exactly can I repent and redeem myself for the terrible things that I have done? Tell me and I'll do it."
Tara began to laugh. It was not her laugh. It was an evil laugh. "You fool. You'll never be able to repent for the sins you have committed. You and all of the earth are damned to suffer for eternity." The evil laughter became deafening.
That's when Tara sat up in bed, sweat drenched. She looked around her and saw her two little ones fast asleep. It was all a dream. It was a dream of what the future could hold for her. It was not a happy thought. She wondered what Willow would think of it?
Across town, the dark haired Willow sat up in bed. She too, was drenched in sweat. It was not a world that she had foreseen. If she continued down the path that she was headed, would this be the results? Would she not only damn herself, but the entire world? And would Tara really truly forgive her for everything?