FicWad

The ride home from the mall was almost completely silent. They dropped off Ray and were almost to Donna's when Gerard spoke "Why did you invite Bert to dinner?"
She looked over at him, "Actually I didn't invite him to dinner your mom did. He came by to see her before he came to the mall"
They parked, got their packages out of the trunk and went inside. Donna was watching "It's a Wonderful Life". It was near the end when George is running down the main street of Bedford Falls on his way home. She looked up and saw her son's face.
"I asked him to dinner because I like Bert and it's time you two put what happened behind you. He misses your friendship Gerard. You two were so close once. Can't you just forget what happened?" Donna asked.
Monica wasn't sure just what had happened between them but unless Gerard was planning on explaining she wasn't going to ask. She excused herself and took her packages down to the bedroom. She decided to wrap them now because both of her daughters were gone. Kara and Kelly were both over at Mikey's with Alicia just hanging they told her. She was just taking Gerard's comic out of the bag when he knocked on the door. Quickly she put it back in and told him to come in.
He still looked very unhappy. "Sorry I'm being such an asshole about Bert," he told her sitting on the bed. "I really should stop blaming him for my mistakes."
Monica sat down next to him "I'm kind of in the dark about his whole Bert thing" she told him. She watched him look away. He really didn't want to talk about it that was obvious.
Finally he spoke "Bert and I were really tight, you know. On our first Warped Tour he and I did some crazy shit. It was like we spent all out time daring each other to do shit. I was with Liv then. She would go out and party with us and get as fucked up as we did. I saw that she flirted with Bert but.." he seemed at a loss for words.
He sighed, "She flirted with Bert but hell so did I. Most of the time I was so wasted I just did anything. The three of us, well we.."
Monica knew he was waiting to see what her reaction would be to this info. She looked at him "OK so the fabled make-out sessions with Bert weren't just rumors."
He lit a cigarette before answering. "Look, we just messed around some. Liv was always there but she was with me. Then one morning I woke up on the floor of a hotel room. Bert and Liv were in the bed fucking. Shit I just lost it. When Liv saw me watching she suddenly pushed him away and told me he had forced her. I was such a fucking moron I wanted to believe her so I did. Shit I knew it was a lie that he hadn't forced her but I stated hitting him anyway. He was so wasted at the time he couldn't even fight back. I messed him up bad."
Monica thought for a moment then said, "Let me make sure I have this straight. Back then you and Bert were best friends who were pretty much wasted most of the time. Your girlfriend at the time basically turned you against Bert after she fucked him cause you caught them together. Now she is history." Monica looked at him square in the eye "She is history?"
"God yes. I hope I never see her again. She is pure evil"
Monica continued "So why are you still mad at Bert?" He shrugged his shoulders so she continued, "Is it Bert you are mad at or yourself? Is it him or the way you acted when you were with him? It just seems you are as guilty as he is about how you guys acted. Liv used both of you."
He looked at the floor and spoke quietly "I know you are right. It's just that I have changed so much and I never, ever want to go back to the way I was. The fucked up idiot who did all kinds of stupid shit. Bert reminds me of that person I keep trying to forget."
"You can't keep blaming him" she stopped when it suddenly hit her, "You mean your mom knows about this?"
He looked uncomfortable "Yea, some of it. Bert went to my mom when this first started cause he likes her so much. She always treated him like another son. I was pissed when he did that too. He told her about Liv but I don't think he told her about anything else."
Monica thought for a moment. "All I know is Bert misses you. Both of you went thru some rough times. You chose a different path out and got clean and sober. Bert didn't choose that path and I think you are mad at him about that too."
"He was like another kid brother to me" Gerard said sadly, "I miss him too, the crazy fucker."
Monica stood up "Well, he will be here for dinner tonight. Maybe tonight would be a good time to talk to him about it and move on."
He stood up and pulled her to him. "I wanted to tell you this cause I don't want there to be secrets between us. My past has some bad shit but I don't want to hide it from you."
His words seemed to stop her in her tracks. Gerard saw the look on her face. He knew there was something from her past she was still struggling with. He kissed her and whispered "Trust me, Monica"
' She stood still a moment then lightly pushed him away. "I have gifts to wrap so out you go" He looked at her a moment then walked back upstairs.
Monica rubbed her eyes and tried to forget the memories that were sneaking up on her. It was hard living with someone's death on your conscious.