FicWad

Friday afternoon Zelda left school when the bell rang and went straight home to Severus. The past week had been amazing and wonderful, but without her memories, she sometimes felt breathless with panic. Every morning when she left, she'd fought her pathetic wish to cling to Severus. It irritated her deeply, because she needed to feel strong and independent.

She burst into the kitchen and called, "Severus, can we go? I want my memory back."

"Good afternoon to you, my girl," he said mockingly. "Everything is there and I brought Rowena to wait for us. Is your cat minder set?"

She smiled and nodded. "Let me change clothes, okay?" She ran to the bedroom, pulled off her teacher costume and put on soft, worn jeans and a rich blue patterned sweater. She ran back to the door, put on her winter boots and ski jacket and said, "Let's go."

Severus put his arms around her, kissed her briefly and said, "Hold on now, while we Apparate."

Zelda held on tight and suddenly, with a faint pop, they were standing outside Michael's small cabin in several inches of snow. She shivered, suddenly nervous. His embrace comforted her.

"Have I done that before?" she asked.

"Yes, why?" he asked slowly. He tightened his arms slightly. "Are you all right?"

"A little panicky for a second," she said, willing herself to be calm.

"Come inside, my girl," he said. "It's slightly different now, in cold weather. See if you remember it."

He opened the door and Rowena greeted them eagerly.

Zelda gasped. The place was huge, far larger inside than outside. "It's amazing, but I don't remember it." She wandered through the kitchen area, into the spacious open area, taking it all in. She turned quickly and opened a door, finding herself in a beautiful, whimsical bedroom. The bed was large and inviting, covered in cushions, large and small. A doorway led into a bathroom with a large, sunken bath.

"Severus, is this..." her voice faltered.

"Our room," he said quizzically.

"I thought for a minute... but..." She looked up at him, a confused frown on her face.

"Darling, try to relax. You may take the potion if you feel ready, but come and change clothes. Do you remember this robe?"

He handed Zelda a lovely blue silk robe. For a moment it felt safe and familiar in her hands, but again, her mind did not know it.

"I shall go and prepare the potion," he said.

She nodded firmly. "I'll be right there," she replied. Slowly she took everything off and put on the pretty robe, feeling very odd. She padded barefoot out to the kitchen, where Severus waited.

"You look lovely, Zelda," he murmured. "Would you like to eat something?"

"I don't want to wait. Where's the potion?" she asked.

"Come sit down," he replied. He led her to the couch, which faced the fireplace. A bottle of wine sat on the table with two glasses. "You shall take it in a small glass of wine and then ask me any questions you wish to."

As he spoke, he settled her on the couch. He poured two glasses of wine and into one he put a few drops of something from a tiny vial. He sat down next to her, handing her the glass. Rowena jumped up on the other side of Zelda and curled into a neat ball. She nudged Zelda's hand for attention.

"I'm ready and Rowena's ready," she said. "To us, Severus." She swallowed it, drinking until her glass was empty.

He put his arms around her. Worried, he studied her carefully. Her eyes were slightly dilated and her cheeks flushed, but she was completely aware. She leaned trustingly against him and he moved her into his lap.

"You are so pretty, my girl," he said, pressing his lips to her shining curls. "I adore you. What is your first question?"

"How did we meet each other?" she asked curiously.

He smiled faintly. "It was in late June. I had a head injury, so even now I don't know the exact date, but you saved my life." He told her everything he remembered of those first hours.

Zelda's eyes were wide and fascinated. Occasionally it sounded familiar, but it was odd to hear him describe her. She listened in silence for a long time and once she touched the scar on his cheek, running her thumb along the faint line.

A picture flashed in her mind of a naked man, bleeding and unconscious on the ground.

"Poor Severus," she whispered, dazed as several more pictures of him took shape. He was in her bed, looking dead white and very ill as she looked down at him, and then she was lying in the bed, looking nervously at him.

"I think... no, I'm sure I'm starting to remember," she said. "But it's like having to tear into my brain to do it and I don't know where my false memories fit." She frowned. "Will I have to relive it minute by minute?"

Severus had seen glimpses of real events in her eyes. The potion seemed to have made her mind very vulnerable, so he did not wish to push too hard.

"I believe we should have dinner," he said. "The potion will continue to work for another hour, but you must not force it."

"I feel... um, high or something," she said, swaying slightly as she stood up. "But without the fun."

"Stay here and relax. I'll make dinner." He steadied her with a reassuring hand.

"You take wonderful care of me, but I feel pathetic and useless," she grouched. "I'll come with you. I can do simple things, even while stoned."

He slipped his arm around her waist and led her to the table, settling her down on a chair. "Nothing involving sharp knives, my girl," he said cynically. He smiled faintly. "Zelda, you took care of me constantly when we were together. You need not do everything."

"But then I'd have to believe someone else will do things. I've learned too well not to count on anyone," she responded sadly. "If I expect too much from you, you'll probably leave."

"That is pathetic and the result of your memory loss," he chided. He paused in his food preparation and swooped down to kiss her. "We shall take care of each other."

During dinner Zelda periodically had flashes of déjà vu. Being in that place with Severus helped. Most shocking was the emotion that flooded her. It was a heady, warm trust and love that made her feel giddy. Her gut-instinct began filling in some of what she'd known before. He'd been so open, so teasing and kind, but she could feel bitterness, anger and pain in him. He was also unaccustomed to friendship and affection, but she didn't have the slightest idea why that would be.

"I can't remember events, but I know you," she said finally.

Severus had been watching her. He remembered her nightmare and feared that she might be overcome if memories returned too fast. He looked piercingly into her eyes, touching her with Legilimency.

"You can do it too," she said wonderingly.

"Of course," he replied. "I'll stop if you dislike it."

"We've done this before, I think," she said. "It's okay. I know you and I know I trust you. It's just extremely confusing."

Her declaration, coming so soon, filled Severus with hope. "Stay there," he said with a slight smirk.

He opened the door and sent Rowena out, then he sat back down and used his wand to clean up after dinner. It took all of ninety seconds. He looked seriously at Zelda, wondering if he dared to suggest this.

"What?" she asked curiously, seeing a question in his eyes.

"If you take a dose of the potion and came to bed, perhaps..." he suggested, his eyes glittering with anticipation.

"Is it safe?" she asked, looking frightened but intrigued.

"If we do it now, tomorrow you'll be fine."

"I've started remembering you during sex, you know," she said thoughtfully. "Okay."

"If you become frightened, I'll help you," he promised.

He brought the potion along to the bedroom and began running a bath. He used his wand to light a dozen candles on the small dresser and made the flames dance in the small wood stove.

"Oh my," she murmured. She'd never known a man to create such a romantic setting. "What now?"

He poured a tiny glass of wine and added the potion. "Drink up, my girl."

She tossed back the glass, swallowed, and felt a warm feeling suffuse her body. She looked at Severus and saw that his shirt was off already.

"First, a bath," he murmured. He watched her eyes as the dose took effect, rendering her terribly vulnerable. "Come, darling." He took her hand and led her into the bathroom, where he removed her robe first and then the rest of his clothing.

Her blue eyes were lazy and filled with passion, and without words she offered herself trustingly to him, making Severus forget that anything bad had ever happened to him. He kissed her teasingly and led her into the warm, fragrant bath.

"We did this before," she said dreamily, tingling as his soapy hands slid over her wet skin. She gasped. "I remember!" Her eyes glowed and she crowed with laughter. "We played Sultan and Concubine, didn't we? How silly."

"We did," he said, smiling as she flung herself into his arms. "It was the day I enlarged the cabin and created these rooms." He held her tight, feeling her shoulders shake with sudden sobs. "Do not cry, Zelda."

Her face was pressed against his neck and she said softly, "I can feel how much I loved you that day." She gulped and looked up at him with teary blue eyes. "It's good crying, Sev. I love you."

He kissed her forehead and said, "Lean back and I'll wash your hair, love."

She did so, relaxing and letting herself be completely vulnerable and open. "Goddess, you're so sexy, Severus. I must be the luckiest woman on earth." She ducked her head, rinsing her hair and said, "My turn."

Severus put himself into her hands and as she washed him all over, he relived his confused memory of that first bath, when Bellatrix had injured him. Zelda had tended him so kindly. "Did you know, when you found me, I was so ashamed at being naked in front of you that I wished I were dead?"

A flash of understanding appeared in her eyes and he realized that she was actually remembering that first day.

Her hands moved slowly and inevitably downward as she gazed into his eyes. "The first time I looked into your eyes I was smitten, Severus. You're the most honest person I've ever known. You were so sad and so lost too. But so damn sexy." She stroked him firmly with a hand, then put her arms around him and straddled him, rubbing against him eagerly. "Did I take advantage of you? I kissed you first, didn't I?" She paused. "No, wait. I put you to bed and... I felt awful for you. You looked so hopeless and I kissed you then."

"You saved my life and gave me hope for a future all in one day," he said, gazing into those adoring blue eyes. He thrust against her suggestively and said, "Come to bed."

He dried her with his wand, making her giggle, and steered her toward their bed. He felt as though he had shared the potion, since her wide-open emotions touched him profoundly.

"Did I ever mention that you have beautiful eyes? I can see straight into your soul," she murmured, kissing his nose. "And you love me as much as I love you." Her expression was suddenly wise and innocent. "And I'm beautiful to you," she said in wonderment.

"You are everything wonderful to me," he whispered in her ear.

He began kissing her, pressing his lips to his mark on her neck, where a hint of euphoria lingered. She quivered and moaned, causing him to smirk knowingly and kiss her breasts.

Zelda ran her fingers into his black hair as he sucked her nipple into his mouth. Her mind was becoming a blur as past memories blended with the moment. It was so overwhelming that she let go of it all, opening herself body and soul to him. She wrapped her arms around him and spread her legs eagerly.

"Zelda," he groaned, knowing how rare this moment was. "At last we're finding each other." Then he was inside her, their bodies moving in harmony and their eyes were locked together.

Her brain was suddenly in a whirl as pictures of places, people and summer skies appeared. She moaned with confusion and pleasure at once and forced her mind toward his. "Severus..." she whispered, overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions. She clung to him frantically.

He paused and saw her condition. "Look at me," he commanded softly. "None of it matters, only this moment." He kissed her repeatedly, capturing her attention and brought her back to the present, entranced by his dark eyes. He carried her relentlessly to orgasm, watching her with love and concern.

She held tight to him, tears on her cheeks. "I don't... normally... cry this much," she panted. "I remembered places and people, but... not really. Not yet."

"You've made remarkable progress," he said gently, tucking the comforter over her bare shoulder. "Rest now. I won't leave you."

She studied him, this stern, loving man she seemed destined to be with, and smiled tremulously. "Thank you," she said, nestling against him.

Severus held her as she fell into exhausted sleep. He wished he could help her more, but she was brave and determined. He felt more hope than he ever had before.


&&&&&&&&&


"Wake up, my girl," Severus said. "Your breakfast is ready."

Zelda stirred reluctantly. She was cozy and completely relaxed, and only managed to open one eye. What she saw made her sit up quickly. "I forgot where we are," she said, wide-eyed with surprise.

Severus was Levitating a breakfast tray, from which delicious smells were emanating. "Are you ready for your coffee?" he asked temptingly.

"You're wonderful," she said, still drowsy. "Will you share it with me?"

"It is almost noon, so I ate earlier," he said. "I will, of course, join you in bed, my girl."

She got up, put her robe on and headed for the bathroom. When she returned, having washed her face, she seemed far more alert.

"Okay, I'm conscious," she said, climbing into bed and collecting her coffee. "I had a nightmare, didn't I?" she asked calmly.

"You did," he replied, frowning. "But once I managed to hold you, it went away."

"It's okay. If I'm going to remember, I think it's inevitable." She took a bite of her toast and said hesitantly, "Severus, I remember a boy with black hair and glasses, he was at my house." Her eyes narrowed in response to his frozen expression. "Is he... is he your son?"

"What?" snarled Severus, revolted. "/I have no children, my girl/," he forced through gritted teeth. He knew she had not intended to upset him, and her worried frown made him control himself.

"I said the wrong thing," she murmured, pushing the tray away impatiently. "Sorry."

"That was Potter," he said expressionlessly. "One of my students at Hogwarts. I shall not ask why you would think I am..." he choked out the words, "his father."

"I... it was just a vibe coming from both of you. I don't remember..." she said, but suddenly she laughed. "You were playing a video game with him!" she said. "You were... he... Oh, I'm sorry, Sev. Please forgive me if I make idiotic mistakes."

"Eat, my girl," he said, pushing the tray back at her. "I shall get over it."

"What will we do today?" she asked, obediently picking up her fork. "More potion?"

"Not yet," he said. "I wonder if you need time to think and rest your brain before you take more."

"I'd like some time without it," she replied. "But may I still ask questions?"

He smiled. "You have endless questions. I certainly can't stop you from asking them."

She drank the last of her coffee and looked at him, a challenge in her eyes. "If we planned to get married, where did we say we'd live?" she asked shrewdly.

His lips twitched. "We had not actually decided, since it seemed unlikely that I would survive the summer."

"I see," she replied. "You did survive. Are you still sure this is a good idea?"

He Vanished the tray to the kitchen and lay down beside her, nose to nose. "Have you anything better to do with the rest of your life? I certainly have not. Whatever I do, wherever I am, I wish to be with you, Zelda. We can decide together where to live, once your memories are restored."

"You said you don't have children, but I do. Do I assume they know nothing about this?" she asked curiously.

"They were not here and although I saw photos, I have not met them. I look forward to doing so," he replied. "I should thank your son for unknowingly lending me his clothing."

Zelda sighed. "This is getting more complicated every minute. How fortunate that you didn't try to explain it all at first." She caressed his neck, running her fingers through his long hair.

He brushed her lips with his own. "It will work out, my girl." His arms folded around her and contentment filled him. The past months had been lonely and difficult, but he knew himself to be very fortunate. They would find a way to live together.

From the main room, Rowena began barking loudly.

"What in blazes is that?" asked Severus irritably.

"That's the 'we've got company' bark," said Zelda knowledgeably. "Who the hell would pester us in the middle of nowhere on a Saturday morning?"

Severus contemplated the small collection of people who must now be considered his friends. Nosy pests, all of them, they were dying to butt into his relationship with Zelda, he thought cynically.

"I do not know, but while I answer the door, please get dressed," he muttered. "Once they start arriving, it's bloody difficult to get rid of them."

Zelda laughed at his morose tone. "Okay," she said, kissing his nose. "I'll be right there. I think I won't want to miss this."

The barking continued unabated as Severus left the bedroom. He glanced at the empty portrait frame, wondering how soon Phineas Nigellus would intrude on them, then opened the door and rolled his eyes.

"Potter," he said exasperatedly. "Why am I not surprised?"