Categories > Original > Romance > Cedar Door
Conversation With Oneself
0 reviewsJesse has a bad dream and Stephin gets an unexpected visitor.
0Unrated
WARNING! THIS CH. CONTAINS SLIGHTLY ADULT CONTENT AND REFERENCES TO CHRISTIAN GOD! IT IS ALSO VERY ANGSTY AT POINTS!
You have been warned!
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Jesse slammed his fist into the wall. Tears streamed down his face as he cried out in agony over his now broken hand. He clenched his good hand tightly and punched himself hard in his most sensitive area. Jesse cried out in pain and collapsed to the floor in a ball.
Continuing to lay on the floor, Jesse cried not from pain but from a sin, an unforgivable sin. Jesse looked up to the framed picture of his best friend Raul, the glass broken and shattered. Jesse look away when he felt that stirring that should not be there, at least not be there when he looked at a man.
Why was he feeling this way? It was a sin condemnable by Hell to feel this way or even to think this way about another man. Why was he feeling it? He was a good Christian. He followed the bible to the T, well almost, he prayed everyday, and he was confirmed and baptized in the name of God, so why was he feeling this way? What demon would make him have these unnatural feelings?
Wait! That is it! It was a demon making him feel this way. It was a demon possessing him and making him feel this way towards men. That was the only way to describe why he was feeling the way he did.
Jesse looked down. Good, it was gone. Now that he knew it was a demon making him feel this way, and he knew he could fight it. Jesse slowly got up, the pain in his lower regions bad and the pain in his hand even worse. He needed to go to the hospital for his hand but it could wait. First he needed to go to church for help against this demon that was possessing him.
Jesse snapped open his eyes. He sighed. It had been a long time since he had that dream. Slowly Jesse sat up in bed and looked to the wall in front of him to find comfort in the cross that hung there. His eyes widened in shock. The cross was now upside down.
The door slammed open and Jesse gasped in fright. Megan smiled and snickered a little.
"Scared ya, huh? Well I came to get you up, but seeing that you already are, I'll just to tell you start getting ready so we can go to the book singing." She said cheerfully.
Jesse nodded his head.
"Hey Megan." He said quietly. "Why would you take the nail off the top of my cross to make it turn upside down? That's not funny you know."
Megan looked at him questioningly and then looked at his cross and gasped.
"Bro, I may be atheist but I don't piss on other religions. I wouldn't make your cross go upside down okay. The nail just probably fell out, that's all. Don't worry about it. It's not some terrible omen okay."
Jesse nodded his head and got out of bed to fix the cross. He knelt down and found the nail. So his sister was right.
"Well then I guess I should get ready for the book signing shouldn't I?" Jesse said with a smile.
Megan smiled and jumped up and down before running out the room. Jesse sighed. Today was going to be a very long day.
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The alarm clock rang and Stephin groggily opened his eyes. Begrudgingly, he sat up and looked at the clock that flashed 4:00 A.M. It was too damn early.
Stephin sighed and got up and being the neat freak he was, began to make the bed. Stephin looked to the other side of the ed. He was here this morning.
Shuffling his feet across the carpet, Stephin made his way into the bathroom and opened the mirror cabinet that held his medicine and other grooming items. He took out both and quickly opened the pill bottle, taking one and plopping it into his mouth. Stephin looked at the, pulled out another pill, and took it. It was going to be a long day if he was going to be there. Stephin closed the cabinet and next to his reflection, he saw his
"Good morning Stephin. You know you better be safe with those pills. They're said to cause suicidal tendencies." He said.
"It really only increases suicidal tendencies with people who are under the age of eighteen. I'm twice that age now so I don't really have to worry about that now do I?" Stephin replied with annoyance apparent in his voice.
"Tsk tsk Stephin. I thought you were smarter than that." Stephin glared at him. "What? Am I annoying you? Stephin nodded his head yes. "Sorry. I just thought you might need my help today. I know how much you hate book signings." He paused. "Stephin, might I ask why you're annoyed with me? I mean after all, don't you love me?"
"Because you're dead Kal! You died four years ago, now leave me alone! I don't need this and I don't need you right now. Do you want me to end up in an insane asylum? That is what is going to happen if you don't leave me alone. I feel like I'm about to have a frikkin' nervous breakdown because of your constant visits!"
Kal put on a hurt face. "Ouch," he mumbled and then vanished.
Stephin let out a deep breath and began to brush his teeth. Stephin looked up at his earrings and selected his favorite clear rhinestone earring and put it in his right ear. Slowly, he got dressed in his favorite light blue shirt and his favorite slightly ripped blue jeans. Stephin laughed quietly to himself. Why was he wearing al of his favorite things?
After dressing, Stephin walked to the kitchen and pulled out light cream cheese from the refrigerator, put some wheat bagels in the toaster, started a pot of sugar free French vanilla coffee, and went out to the front of his house to grab the newspaper only to find that it had yet to be delivered. When Stephin got back to the kitchen, Kal was there to greet him.
"I thought I told you to go away." Grumbled Stephin.
"Why do you insist on wearing those grungy, poor clothes when you have all that money that I left you and all that money you have from writing your books. I mean come on, you could at least buy a pair of jeans that aren't ripped."
Stephin looked down at his jeans and then looked up and smirked. "Well you know the saying, once a hick always a hick." Stephin said in a thick east Texas accent. "Besides, I happen to like this outfit thank you very much." Stephin said, dropping the accent. "I wore this exact same outfit the day I got my very first book deal. So these clothes are very important to me Kal."
"Well at least fix the holes in the jeans," retorted Kal. "I mean, I know you can sew, so it can't be that hard to fix. And why do you insist on wearing that rhinestone earring? Why can't you wear that diamond earring that I bought you when we first met?"
"I like this earring Kal, and I am not going to wear that one earring that you bought because it makes me feel as if I started dating you for the money."
"Both of us know that you didn't get in this relationship for the money. I mean, for Christ sakes, it took me two years to even get you to go on a date with me. And when I did buy you expensive gifts, you always gave them back saying that they were too nice to do anything with. So stop thinking that you started dating me for the money and wear the damn earring." Scoffed Kal.
"No."
Stephin began to eat his bagel. Kal walked over and picked up the light cream cheese.
"Light cream cheese, a wheat bagel, and look at this, sugar free French vanilla coffee. I had no idea they made that stuff sugar free. What are you doing to yourself Stephin, baby. You don't need to be eating this diet stuff. You're practically too skinny. Wait, how mush weight have you lost since I died?"
"Sixteen pounds. And I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to eat healthy." Stephin stood up. " Now I have to leave."
Kal smirked. "When you take off those pants tonight when you get him, I'm going to throw them away."
Stephin turned around. "Do that and I'll kill you."
Kal laughed. "To late sweetie, I'm already dead."
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Yay! This was along chappy for me. Sorry it took so long to get out. I feel like I've aged 10 years with the start of the new school year.
Alight, now to explaining the ch.
In the first part, it introduces Jesse as a hard-core Christian and he has just gotten an erection from looking at his best friend's picture (/his best friend is a guy/). Well, technically in the Christian religion, being gay is like a big no-no, but some people are really born gay, so that sin is sometimes ignored.
So basically, Jesse is freaking out b/c he believes that being gay is a sin condemnable by Hell and he's trying to get his erection to go away by punching the wall...and himself. In the end he decides to go see the preacher of his church to get rid of this "demon" that he thinks possesses him. Yes, very weird, but I've seen this happen before.
And an even further explanation of that is I wanted to make this story fairly realistic. I don't want this story to be the cliché gay romance where nothing is ever wrong not that being gay is wrong of course) and everybody loves them. So this whole Jesse sub-story is trying to get into that whole realism thing.
All right, now to Stephin. No, Stephin does not hate Kal. He actually is going a little insane from the depression pills he is taking and he is seeing things that he should (i.e. Kal). So him seeing Kal, he knows he's going insane and he doesn't want to see him b/c he doesn't want to be crazy.
Ok, that should do on the explanations. Thank you to all the people who have reviewed my story so far, it means a lot. So until next! And remember, all authors like reviews!
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You have been warned!
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Jesse slammed his fist into the wall. Tears streamed down his face as he cried out in agony over his now broken hand. He clenched his good hand tightly and punched himself hard in his most sensitive area. Jesse cried out in pain and collapsed to the floor in a ball.
Continuing to lay on the floor, Jesse cried not from pain but from a sin, an unforgivable sin. Jesse looked up to the framed picture of his best friend Raul, the glass broken and shattered. Jesse look away when he felt that stirring that should not be there, at least not be there when he looked at a man.
Why was he feeling this way? It was a sin condemnable by Hell to feel this way or even to think this way about another man. Why was he feeling it? He was a good Christian. He followed the bible to the T, well almost, he prayed everyday, and he was confirmed and baptized in the name of God, so why was he feeling this way? What demon would make him have these unnatural feelings?
Wait! That is it! It was a demon making him feel this way. It was a demon possessing him and making him feel this way towards men. That was the only way to describe why he was feeling the way he did.
Jesse looked down. Good, it was gone. Now that he knew it was a demon making him feel this way, and he knew he could fight it. Jesse slowly got up, the pain in his lower regions bad and the pain in his hand even worse. He needed to go to the hospital for his hand but it could wait. First he needed to go to church for help against this demon that was possessing him.
Jesse snapped open his eyes. He sighed. It had been a long time since he had that dream. Slowly Jesse sat up in bed and looked to the wall in front of him to find comfort in the cross that hung there. His eyes widened in shock. The cross was now upside down.
The door slammed open and Jesse gasped in fright. Megan smiled and snickered a little.
"Scared ya, huh? Well I came to get you up, but seeing that you already are, I'll just to tell you start getting ready so we can go to the book singing." She said cheerfully.
Jesse nodded his head.
"Hey Megan." He said quietly. "Why would you take the nail off the top of my cross to make it turn upside down? That's not funny you know."
Megan looked at him questioningly and then looked at his cross and gasped.
"Bro, I may be atheist but I don't piss on other religions. I wouldn't make your cross go upside down okay. The nail just probably fell out, that's all. Don't worry about it. It's not some terrible omen okay."
Jesse nodded his head and got out of bed to fix the cross. He knelt down and found the nail. So his sister was right.
"Well then I guess I should get ready for the book signing shouldn't I?" Jesse said with a smile.
Megan smiled and jumped up and down before running out the room. Jesse sighed. Today was going to be a very long day.
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The alarm clock rang and Stephin groggily opened his eyes. Begrudgingly, he sat up and looked at the clock that flashed 4:00 A.M. It was too damn early.
Stephin sighed and got up and being the neat freak he was, began to make the bed. Stephin looked to the other side of the ed. He was here this morning.
Shuffling his feet across the carpet, Stephin made his way into the bathroom and opened the mirror cabinet that held his medicine and other grooming items. He took out both and quickly opened the pill bottle, taking one and plopping it into his mouth. Stephin looked at the, pulled out another pill, and took it. It was going to be a long day if he was going to be there. Stephin closed the cabinet and next to his reflection, he saw his
"Good morning Stephin. You know you better be safe with those pills. They're said to cause suicidal tendencies." He said.
"It really only increases suicidal tendencies with people who are under the age of eighteen. I'm twice that age now so I don't really have to worry about that now do I?" Stephin replied with annoyance apparent in his voice.
"Tsk tsk Stephin. I thought you were smarter than that." Stephin glared at him. "What? Am I annoying you? Stephin nodded his head yes. "Sorry. I just thought you might need my help today. I know how much you hate book signings." He paused. "Stephin, might I ask why you're annoyed with me? I mean after all, don't you love me?"
"Because you're dead Kal! You died four years ago, now leave me alone! I don't need this and I don't need you right now. Do you want me to end up in an insane asylum? That is what is going to happen if you don't leave me alone. I feel like I'm about to have a frikkin' nervous breakdown because of your constant visits!"
Kal put on a hurt face. "Ouch," he mumbled and then vanished.
Stephin let out a deep breath and began to brush his teeth. Stephin looked up at his earrings and selected his favorite clear rhinestone earring and put it in his right ear. Slowly, he got dressed in his favorite light blue shirt and his favorite slightly ripped blue jeans. Stephin laughed quietly to himself. Why was he wearing al of his favorite things?
After dressing, Stephin walked to the kitchen and pulled out light cream cheese from the refrigerator, put some wheat bagels in the toaster, started a pot of sugar free French vanilla coffee, and went out to the front of his house to grab the newspaper only to find that it had yet to be delivered. When Stephin got back to the kitchen, Kal was there to greet him.
"I thought I told you to go away." Grumbled Stephin.
"Why do you insist on wearing those grungy, poor clothes when you have all that money that I left you and all that money you have from writing your books. I mean come on, you could at least buy a pair of jeans that aren't ripped."
Stephin looked down at his jeans and then looked up and smirked. "Well you know the saying, once a hick always a hick." Stephin said in a thick east Texas accent. "Besides, I happen to like this outfit thank you very much." Stephin said, dropping the accent. "I wore this exact same outfit the day I got my very first book deal. So these clothes are very important to me Kal."
"Well at least fix the holes in the jeans," retorted Kal. "I mean, I know you can sew, so it can't be that hard to fix. And why do you insist on wearing that rhinestone earring? Why can't you wear that diamond earring that I bought you when we first met?"
"I like this earring Kal, and I am not going to wear that one earring that you bought because it makes me feel as if I started dating you for the money."
"Both of us know that you didn't get in this relationship for the money. I mean, for Christ sakes, it took me two years to even get you to go on a date with me. And when I did buy you expensive gifts, you always gave them back saying that they were too nice to do anything with. So stop thinking that you started dating me for the money and wear the damn earring." Scoffed Kal.
"No."
Stephin began to eat his bagel. Kal walked over and picked up the light cream cheese.
"Light cream cheese, a wheat bagel, and look at this, sugar free French vanilla coffee. I had no idea they made that stuff sugar free. What are you doing to yourself Stephin, baby. You don't need to be eating this diet stuff. You're practically too skinny. Wait, how mush weight have you lost since I died?"
"Sixteen pounds. And I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to eat healthy." Stephin stood up. " Now I have to leave."
Kal smirked. "When you take off those pants tonight when you get him, I'm going to throw them away."
Stephin turned around. "Do that and I'll kill you."
Kal laughed. "To late sweetie, I'm already dead."
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Yay! This was along chappy for me. Sorry it took so long to get out. I feel like I've aged 10 years with the start of the new school year.
Alight, now to explaining the ch.
In the first part, it introduces Jesse as a hard-core Christian and he has just gotten an erection from looking at his best friend's picture (/his best friend is a guy/). Well, technically in the Christian religion, being gay is like a big no-no, but some people are really born gay, so that sin is sometimes ignored.
So basically, Jesse is freaking out b/c he believes that being gay is a sin condemnable by Hell and he's trying to get his erection to go away by punching the wall...and himself. In the end he decides to go see the preacher of his church to get rid of this "demon" that he thinks possesses him. Yes, very weird, but I've seen this happen before.
And an even further explanation of that is I wanted to make this story fairly realistic. I don't want this story to be the cliché gay romance where nothing is ever wrong not that being gay is wrong of course) and everybody loves them. So this whole Jesse sub-story is trying to get into that whole realism thing.
All right, now to Stephin. No, Stephin does not hate Kal. He actually is going a little insane from the depression pills he is taking and he is seeing things that he should (i.e. Kal). So him seeing Kal, he knows he's going insane and he doesn't want to see him b/c he doesn't want to be crazy.
Ok, that should do on the explanations. Thank you to all the people who have reviewed my story so far, it means a lot. So until next! And remember, all authors like reviews!
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