Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Saving The World One Hat Rack At A Time
The Plaaaaaaan (not developed by NOFX)
10 reviewsThe DoJ gals discuss possible ideas on how to get their hands on the Hatrack's hat to ultimately save Charlie (this isn't in the slightest confusing to us, by the way). On their way to a Fall Out B...
5Funny
Chapter Three - The Plaaaaaaan (not developed by NOFX)
Nothing (except for writer's block) could stop the Divsion of Joy. Once they got started, that is. And therein lay the problem...
"Now, how do we get our paws on this hat? Or rather, on the monkey?" CeCe asked nicely. What nobody knew was that she was the secret head of the DoJ.
"Let's slip that dude some roofies and just grab it off his head," Kyle shed some light on her dating routines.
"That reminds me," Emma said and glanced at Alex. "What exactly happened last night after you made me that strawberry smoothie?"
Alex pretended to suffer from temporary (ha!) ignorance of the English language and started babbling incoherent stuff in German. Or Austrian, who here can tell anyways?
"I speak a bit of German, you know," Emma hissed slightly annoyed.
Alex started rattling off random words in French, Italian and Latin.
About one minute later The Hair was bound and gagged on the couch. She wondered what she had been bound for.
Crystal pointed at her, "We could also do that to the Hatrack." Despite the fact that nobody would admit it, she was the real boss of the DoJ.
"Yay, unjustified violence. I like," Sarah, who had taken notes on the suggestions, chimed in. Her hair looked especially pretty today. ("Thank you," said Sarah.)
CeCe cleared her throat, "I am used to little kids pulling knives on me but still, your ideas sound a bit... drastic to me."
"Oh!" Sarah shouted. "I know! We could also just flash him and while he's distracted one of us grabs the hat."
Emma raised an eyebrow and a question, "And who flashes that little dude?" As the person who covertly called the shots in the DoJ, it was her obligation to work out things like this.
CeCe and Katy turned a shade of red (and white and blue, just differently arranged. CeCe won though, she had some neat white stars.)
"I'll do it!" Crystal screamed.
"I'll do it!" Kyle yelled at the same time. Surely, that kind of job called for the responsibility that came with the person highest in the DoJ hierarchy.
The two of them stared at each other, anger reflected in both pairs of eyes. It was kinda hot.
Sarah twirled a strand of hair, "Well, I just lost 10 pounds super fast, ya know..."
Alex grumbled on the couch.
"Is it time to feed her yet?" Katy wondered.
Emma glanced at the countdown on her watch, "Nope, not yet."
"So, how about all three of you flash him?" Cece was the appointed DoJ mediator. And responsible for fresh napkins.
Sarah nodded and wrote it down on her pad. As a top-notch leader, who almost regarded her DoJ employees (no insurance, no vacations and no money) as equals, she knew how important note-taking was.
"Now," Katy said, "I have a crazy thought. What if-"
"No," Crystal cut her short, "we will not call Austin Powers and ask for help AGAIN, Katy. Let's keep the lame agents in Britain where they belong."
Alex huffed loudly.
"Not Mulder and Scully either, Alex," Kyle shook her head decisively.
"Somebody really needs to tell her that they're just TV characters portrayed by actors," Cece whispered softly enough for the hair-challenged alien not to hear.
"Yes, unlike Austin or Vicky Pollard," Katy said proudly. Sometimes you wonder what they put into their fish and chips over there. Or into the Royal Family.
"However, what if-"
Katy was interrupted again. This time by - gasp - nice Cece, "Isn't What if a song by /Creed/?"
"Creed are known to have collaborated with /Nickelback/!" Crystal remined everyone of the recent trends in the music mob.
"They're the enemy too!" Sarah was furious. But still pretty.
Accusingly, Emma pointed a finger at Katy, "Are you a spy?!"
Kyle grabbed another rope and gag. (And felt for the small bottle of roofies in her jean pocket that she had stolen from Alex.)
"Arse... all of you. Complete arses." British politeness is often horribly misinterpreted by... everyone but Britains. "I was just going to say, WHAT IF the guy is actually WILLING to give us his hat with the monkey." This situation certainly called for the calm and collected mind of the hush-hush boss of the DoJ sect.
Crystal's jaw dropped.
"No violence?" Kyle's heart had just broken.
"No physical contact?" Sarah looked as if she was so disappointed that she would indulge in yogos for comfort.
Emma rubbed her chin, "That sounds so crazy, it just might work."
CeCe agreed. Violence was a boo-boo in her book. Only surpassed by 2Unlimited 's /Ready for This/.
So the seven charming, attractive and multi-cultural girls decided to go the Ghandi way of asking nicely and hoping for the best. Pretty stupid, eh?
Before they set out in their cars they packed various items, just in case the Hat Wearer would show resistance. The gag was also removed from Alex's mouth. (After all, this was no way to treat the clandestine president of your organization.) She remained bound for safety reasons. (The Hair could get caught in the car's engine. Or Crystal's potty mouth.)
_
Katy was back in the driver's seat. With her were Emma, Alex and Sarah. Behind the steering wheel of the other car was Crystal. CeCe and Kyle were in the backseats, one of them neatly folding napkins and the other one practicing obscene gestures. Who did what? Your guess is as good as mine.
Sarah and CeCe were in command of the doojie-woojies they used for communication.
"Katy, actually we drive on the right-hand side in this country," Emma pointed out a more or less interesting fact after they had been on the road for 10 minutes.
"Holy Boston Tea Party!" the cultured Brit giggled. "And I thought everybody else was just being roadhoggish."
"Well, that kinda makes sense, with Crystal driving in front of us," Alex said. All four of them looked at the bumper sticker on the vehicle in front of them, How's my driving, Doug Hastings?
"Who's Doug Hastings? Some American dude?" Katy inquired.
"Who cares. He interests me less than Jake," Sarah beamed.
"I have a vision," Emma had her eyes closed. "Our trip will be delayed due to..." She stopped herself in mid-sentece and then commenced, "Things are a bit blurry now. I can't really tell... due to... a dramatic circumstance?"
"I need to pee," Alex informed her friends. Emma's supermental abilities may have suffered a little from last night's... ah, nothing happened.
The three other females rolled their eyes but finally Sarah contacted the other car via doojie-woojie, "Hey, can we stop at the next diner or something? The Hair needs to wizz."
There was a pause on the other side but after Cece had gotten her head around "wizz" she replied, "Copy that. Crystal's gonna pull over at the next reststop."
"That Alex needs a good punch in the bladder," Kyle made her thoughts transparent.
Bump, bump, bump. The car came to a halt. A few feet further away Katy stopped the other vehicle.
"Wow, you beat me by one. New record," Katy said, with a slight tinge of jealousy. The girls inspected the three skateboards that lay in shreds under Crystal's car.
At the sight of the boards CeCe's eyes started twinkling evilly (SUPER SCARY!), "I got my heart ripped out by a boy with a skateboard once..."
"Ouch," Emma commented, "I bet that hurt. Did he use the pointy bit or the end of the skateboard?"
"Ah, guys? Didn't we start off in Chicago?" Kyle interrupted, looking confused.
The others nodded.
"And we wanted to drive down to the venue where those Fall Out Boyz are gonna play tonight? That's like a few blocks away from Sarah's shabby apartment?" Kyle continued.
"I told you to call it Official Headquarters," Alex made a point and rushed into the small diner to mark DoJ territory in the restroom.
"Official and Free Coffee Headquarters," Cece corrected.
"Whatever," Sarah rolled her eyes.
"How do you explain THIS then?" Kyle pointed at the road sign in front of them, Welcome to Colorado!
"Ha," Crystal scratched the back of her head, "must've taken a wrong turn at the traffic light."
Katy laughed out loud, "Dude, this country is so lost without its Mommy."
One minute later Sarah dumped the doojie-woojies and her glasses (she was a horrible gadget guy) into the nearest trash can. Thanks be to Crystal who had quite sworn a bit after they had found out that they wouldn't be able to make it in time for the concert.
"By the time we arrive the show will be over," Emma said sadly. CeCe handed her a fresh napkin to dab her misty eyes.
"Worry not!" they heard Alex behind them. She was accompanied by a girl. "I met her inside. Believe it or not but she's got backstage passes to the Fall Out Boyz show tonight."
The girl waved at the DoJ members, "Hi, I'm Rianna. But my friends call me riaryder."
"Hey, Rianna," Kyle greeted her. Only people who were not in the DoJ needed something lame like friends. Ha.
"Shouldn't they call you twix now?" Alex was being completely incomprehensible to her non-Austrian colleagues.* "Nevermind," she commenced. "Rianna said she'll give us the backstage passes because she can't go anways."
"Yeah," the girl nodded, "while everybody else is out saving the world I'm taking over ficwad. You see, I really can't go to a concert."
Emma checked her watch, "If we hurry the way back we might be able to get there in time for when the kids with backstage passes get to hang out with the Boyz after the show."
"It's all been planned, really," Crystal said self-confidently.
"You," Kyle pointed a finger at her, "shut up and get in the backseat. I drive this time."
"It's not polite to..." Katy said but her sentence was finished by CeCe, "...point a finger at somebody." The females looked each other in the eyes and it was as if the doors of Heaven had opened and Hatrack-faced cherubs sang.
(Actually Sarah's cell phone went off at that moment. But that kinda ruins the whole moment. Damn that Jake dude.)
_____________
* Go educate yourself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twix
_ _ _ _
It's time to guess. Who wrote this chapter?
1) Emma
2) Alex
3) Katy
4) Kyle
A hint. It was somebody in the DoJ. Ssshhh...
Nothing (except for writer's block) could stop the Divsion of Joy. Once they got started, that is. And therein lay the problem...
"Now, how do we get our paws on this hat? Or rather, on the monkey?" CeCe asked nicely. What nobody knew was that she was the secret head of the DoJ.
"Let's slip that dude some roofies and just grab it off his head," Kyle shed some light on her dating routines.
"That reminds me," Emma said and glanced at Alex. "What exactly happened last night after you made me that strawberry smoothie?"
Alex pretended to suffer from temporary (ha!) ignorance of the English language and started babbling incoherent stuff in German. Or Austrian, who here can tell anyways?
"I speak a bit of German, you know," Emma hissed slightly annoyed.
Alex started rattling off random words in French, Italian and Latin.
About one minute later The Hair was bound and gagged on the couch. She wondered what she had been bound for.
Crystal pointed at her, "We could also do that to the Hatrack." Despite the fact that nobody would admit it, she was the real boss of the DoJ.
"Yay, unjustified violence. I like," Sarah, who had taken notes on the suggestions, chimed in. Her hair looked especially pretty today. ("Thank you," said Sarah.)
CeCe cleared her throat, "I am used to little kids pulling knives on me but still, your ideas sound a bit... drastic to me."
"Oh!" Sarah shouted. "I know! We could also just flash him and while he's distracted one of us grabs the hat."
Emma raised an eyebrow and a question, "And who flashes that little dude?" As the person who covertly called the shots in the DoJ, it was her obligation to work out things like this.
CeCe and Katy turned a shade of red (and white and blue, just differently arranged. CeCe won though, she had some neat white stars.)
"I'll do it!" Crystal screamed.
"I'll do it!" Kyle yelled at the same time. Surely, that kind of job called for the responsibility that came with the person highest in the DoJ hierarchy.
The two of them stared at each other, anger reflected in both pairs of eyes. It was kinda hot.
Sarah twirled a strand of hair, "Well, I just lost 10 pounds super fast, ya know..."
Alex grumbled on the couch.
"Is it time to feed her yet?" Katy wondered.
Emma glanced at the countdown on her watch, "Nope, not yet."
"So, how about all three of you flash him?" Cece was the appointed DoJ mediator. And responsible for fresh napkins.
Sarah nodded and wrote it down on her pad. As a top-notch leader, who almost regarded her DoJ employees (no insurance, no vacations and no money) as equals, she knew how important note-taking was.
"Now," Katy said, "I have a crazy thought. What if-"
"No," Crystal cut her short, "we will not call Austin Powers and ask for help AGAIN, Katy. Let's keep the lame agents in Britain where they belong."
Alex huffed loudly.
"Not Mulder and Scully either, Alex," Kyle shook her head decisively.
"Somebody really needs to tell her that they're just TV characters portrayed by actors," Cece whispered softly enough for the hair-challenged alien not to hear.
"Yes, unlike Austin or Vicky Pollard," Katy said proudly. Sometimes you wonder what they put into their fish and chips over there. Or into the Royal Family.
"However, what if-"
Katy was interrupted again. This time by - gasp - nice Cece, "Isn't What if a song by /Creed/?"
"Creed are known to have collaborated with /Nickelback/!" Crystal remined everyone of the recent trends in the music mob.
"They're the enemy too!" Sarah was furious. But still pretty.
Accusingly, Emma pointed a finger at Katy, "Are you a spy?!"
Kyle grabbed another rope and gag. (And felt for the small bottle of roofies in her jean pocket that she had stolen from Alex.)
"Arse... all of you. Complete arses." British politeness is often horribly misinterpreted by... everyone but Britains. "I was just going to say, WHAT IF the guy is actually WILLING to give us his hat with the monkey." This situation certainly called for the calm and collected mind of the hush-hush boss of the DoJ sect.
Crystal's jaw dropped.
"No violence?" Kyle's heart had just broken.
"No physical contact?" Sarah looked as if she was so disappointed that she would indulge in yogos for comfort.
Emma rubbed her chin, "That sounds so crazy, it just might work."
CeCe agreed. Violence was a boo-boo in her book. Only surpassed by 2Unlimited 's /Ready for This/.
So the seven charming, attractive and multi-cultural girls decided to go the Ghandi way of asking nicely and hoping for the best. Pretty stupid, eh?
Before they set out in their cars they packed various items, just in case the Hat Wearer would show resistance. The gag was also removed from Alex's mouth. (After all, this was no way to treat the clandestine president of your organization.) She remained bound for safety reasons. (The Hair could get caught in the car's engine. Or Crystal's potty mouth.)
_
Katy was back in the driver's seat. With her were Emma, Alex and Sarah. Behind the steering wheel of the other car was Crystal. CeCe and Kyle were in the backseats, one of them neatly folding napkins and the other one practicing obscene gestures. Who did what? Your guess is as good as mine.
Sarah and CeCe were in command of the doojie-woojies they used for communication.
"Katy, actually we drive on the right-hand side in this country," Emma pointed out a more or less interesting fact after they had been on the road for 10 minutes.
"Holy Boston Tea Party!" the cultured Brit giggled. "And I thought everybody else was just being roadhoggish."
"Well, that kinda makes sense, with Crystal driving in front of us," Alex said. All four of them looked at the bumper sticker on the vehicle in front of them, How's my driving, Doug Hastings?
"Who's Doug Hastings? Some American dude?" Katy inquired.
"Who cares. He interests me less than Jake," Sarah beamed.
"I have a vision," Emma had her eyes closed. "Our trip will be delayed due to..." She stopped herself in mid-sentece and then commenced, "Things are a bit blurry now. I can't really tell... due to... a dramatic circumstance?"
"I need to pee," Alex informed her friends. Emma's supermental abilities may have suffered a little from last night's... ah, nothing happened.
The three other females rolled their eyes but finally Sarah contacted the other car via doojie-woojie, "Hey, can we stop at the next diner or something? The Hair needs to wizz."
There was a pause on the other side but after Cece had gotten her head around "wizz" she replied, "Copy that. Crystal's gonna pull over at the next reststop."
"That Alex needs a good punch in the bladder," Kyle made her thoughts transparent.
Bump, bump, bump. The car came to a halt. A few feet further away Katy stopped the other vehicle.
"Wow, you beat me by one. New record," Katy said, with a slight tinge of jealousy. The girls inspected the three skateboards that lay in shreds under Crystal's car.
At the sight of the boards CeCe's eyes started twinkling evilly (SUPER SCARY!), "I got my heart ripped out by a boy with a skateboard once..."
"Ouch," Emma commented, "I bet that hurt. Did he use the pointy bit or the end of the skateboard?"
"Ah, guys? Didn't we start off in Chicago?" Kyle interrupted, looking confused.
The others nodded.
"And we wanted to drive down to the venue where those Fall Out Boyz are gonna play tonight? That's like a few blocks away from Sarah's shabby apartment?" Kyle continued.
"I told you to call it Official Headquarters," Alex made a point and rushed into the small diner to mark DoJ territory in the restroom.
"Official and Free Coffee Headquarters," Cece corrected.
"Whatever," Sarah rolled her eyes.
"How do you explain THIS then?" Kyle pointed at the road sign in front of them, Welcome to Colorado!
"Ha," Crystal scratched the back of her head, "must've taken a wrong turn at the traffic light."
Katy laughed out loud, "Dude, this country is so lost without its Mommy."
One minute later Sarah dumped the doojie-woojies and her glasses (she was a horrible gadget guy) into the nearest trash can. Thanks be to Crystal who had quite sworn a bit after they had found out that they wouldn't be able to make it in time for the concert.
"By the time we arrive the show will be over," Emma said sadly. CeCe handed her a fresh napkin to dab her misty eyes.
"Worry not!" they heard Alex behind them. She was accompanied by a girl. "I met her inside. Believe it or not but she's got backstage passes to the Fall Out Boyz show tonight."
The girl waved at the DoJ members, "Hi, I'm Rianna. But my friends call me riaryder."
"Hey, Rianna," Kyle greeted her. Only people who were not in the DoJ needed something lame like friends. Ha.
"Shouldn't they call you twix now?" Alex was being completely incomprehensible to her non-Austrian colleagues.* "Nevermind," she commenced. "Rianna said she'll give us the backstage passes because she can't go anways."
"Yeah," the girl nodded, "while everybody else is out saving the world I'm taking over ficwad. You see, I really can't go to a concert."
Emma checked her watch, "If we hurry the way back we might be able to get there in time for when the kids with backstage passes get to hang out with the Boyz after the show."
"It's all been planned, really," Crystal said self-confidently.
"You," Kyle pointed a finger at her, "shut up and get in the backseat. I drive this time."
"It's not polite to..." Katy said but her sentence was finished by CeCe, "...point a finger at somebody." The females looked each other in the eyes and it was as if the doors of Heaven had opened and Hatrack-faced cherubs sang.
(Actually Sarah's cell phone went off at that moment. But that kinda ruins the whole moment. Damn that Jake dude.)
_____________
* Go educate yourself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twix
_ _ _ _
It's time to guess. Who wrote this chapter?
1) Emma
2) Alex
3) Katy
4) Kyle
A hint. It was somebody in the DoJ. Ssshhh...
Sign up to rate and review this story