Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Saving The World One Hat Rack At A Time
What To Do With Six Twatzillion....Penises.
8 reviewsAs the girls begin the real journey of saving their beloved charlie, a plan is formed, but only after some plonking, and some choosing of Darth Vader as a representative...
3Funny
They sat, the seven of them, in a circle around the now-dead radio transmitter. Where did this leave them? Sarah stood.
"This is re-dick. There are billions of hat racks in Chicago. Right now. Then, we have to take into consideration that they're fooling us and this hat-rack isn't even in Chicago. If my calculations are correct..."
PLONKED. Before Sarah could say another word, a bout of room temperature liquid came pouring over her head, smelling sour and cheap all the way down.
"You need to calm the fuck down." Alex said, setting the now empty wine bottle on top of the dead radio. Sarah, was fuming. She sat her wine-covered glasses on the table, and stormed off into the other room, for the purpose of changing into something that didn't smell so...plonk-y.
Alex, Katy, Crystal, Emma, Kyle and CeCe remained in the room, Alex being the only one standing.
"Where does Sarah keep those ridiculous dolls of hers, because the head underneath The Hair is forming a plan..." Emma pointed over at the closed wooden chest near the entrance of Sarah's kitchen.
"There." Alex nodded, and went to the large box, picking up its weight and carrying it into the living room.
"Okay." She said, opening it and removing a very old Darth Vader action figure, and Ken...the Barbie. "We're going to need to take them down by force." Everyone looked at her, waiting for further instruction. Alex noticed and sighed. "That's as far as I've gotten. Sorry."
The girls nodded slightly, and began rummaging through the chest, calling dibbs on the action figure that would represent them. Crystal reached in, pulling out an obviously aged Super hero toy, and laughed.
"HeMan. This is me. Fucking yes." The computer to the right of them began emitting sparks for about 4 seconds, then, the screen went blank, revealing a dead computer. Crystal made a face. "Just let Sarah think she did that. Not me."
Katy went for the hilarious Thundercats figure she found after reaching her hand into the box only once, and CeCe picked up the light pink mass of plastic that was Strawberry Shortcake, setting it among the other's on the table. Kyle, who was already playing vigorously with her choice, Han Solo, received looks from each of the girls, and reluctantly placed her representative with the others as well.
"What should Sarah be?" Crystal asked, looking through the remaining figurines in the chest. She held up a Yoda figure. "What about Yoda?" Kyle shook her head.
"The only thing Sarah and Yoda have in common is their habit of not wording sentences like anyone else might. Bad choice." Kyle went over to Crystal, joining in the task of finding Sarah's figurine. She picked up a Ninja Turtle.
"How about Raphael?" Kyle asked, turning the toy to face the other girls. They nodded in approval and she set the doll with the other six.
"Alright." Emma said, headed for the table. Suddenly, her hand gripped her forehead, and she sat, quickly, focusing on nothing, letting her mind do all the work.
A stage. 4 men as it's occupants, and one of them, wearing a shirt that said "Sith happens." His voice was bouncing off the walls, as was the bassist...not to mention the lead guitarist.
His hat, revealed a monkey, smiling. His music, revealed Genius.
Suddenly, a girl appeared on stage. Her shirt, picturing a cow, said EvieMoo, and Emma paid no attention to her. EvieMoo was pointing dramatically at the hat atop the singers head, but still, Emma ignored her.
"..Stop by this Disaster Town..."
Emma quickly shook her head, re-entering reality, and laughing, remembering the wording on the shirt the boy had been wearing. The other girls, including Sarah, who had re-joined them thinking she didn't smell like plonk anymore (she actually still did), gathered around their vision-seeing friend.
"What'd you see, Emma?" Katy asked, sitting down next to her. Emma smiled, remembering.
"4 boys. One of them was wearing a really funny shirt. It said, "Sith Happens."" Emma laughed.
"What do you think it all means?" Katy asked again.
"Probably means Darth Vader is supposed to be my representative, bitches." Alex rolled her eyes.
"Probably not. Too many times we let your visions slide because you don't pay attention to the important stuff. Was anyone saying anything?" She got an idea suddenly. "Was anyone wearing a hat?"
Emma closed her eyes, focusing hard on the scene she had just....seen...
"A girl was there. Her shirt said Evie Moo. I don't know why. She was pointing at something...at...ugh. I don't remember." She kept her focus strong, clearing her mind, concentrating on what the mystery girl had been directing her arms at. "A monkey. There was a monkey on the hat. He was singing. Words, um, he said...gah. I can't..." She made her focus more intense. "Stop by this disaster town." Katy's eyes grew wide, and Sarah stood.
"Google." She walked over to her computer, and sat down, moving the mouse to awaken the screen. Nothing happened. "What the hell? This worked an hour ago? Why isn't it working now?" She pulled on the mouse and tossed against the wall. "Fuck that." She pulled her sidekick out of her pocket. "What was it? Stop by this disaster town, or something?" She looked at Emma, who nodded. "Alright. And, by the way, Crystal. Don't think you're off the hook. I know that mouth of yours killed my computer." Crystal made a face.
"Why doesn't it kill you?" Sarah looked up, and Crystal closed her eyes. "I mean that in the best way possible. It's just, you're...human, and stuff. Why are you immuned?" Sarah nodded, understanding the question.
"I take my vitamin C." Katy laughed, loudly.
"I don't think that has anything to do with it." Sarah rolled her eyes, and looked back down at the sidekick.
"Has anyone ever heard of 'Fall Out Boy'?" Everyone looked at Sarah.
"You retard, it's The Fall Out Boyz and yes, .we heard of 'em..." Crystal smiled. The other girls nodded.
Sarah continued to search. "Whoa, 6 twatzillion images!" She gasped. "Ok, really did not want to see that!". She groaned, the girls squinted in at her screen.
"Hot damn!" Crystal laughed.
"Is that a penis?" Katy asked.
"That's a penis." Alex reiterated.
"That's a penis!!" Sarah cried, her disgusted frown, slightly excited at the image.
"That IS a penis!" Kyle affirmed, nodding with a huge grin.
A hush sound fell upon the group of girls,
"Hat rack!!" Emma blurted out, startling them all. They followed her finger and eyeballed the small screen.
"Indeed..." Alex pondered.
"Isn't he just a handsome little biscuit?" Katy said, smiling a little.
"That hat Katy...." Crystal scorned. Katy made no response, quite possibly not even hearing.
"Enlarge that image Sarah...." Alex instructed her. Sarah fiddled with her device and tapped it hard with the palm of her hand, more of a spanking than anything else.
"This is just obscure!" She frowned.
"Obsurd....." Emma mouthed to the girls, they all nodded in acknowledgement. "There!" Emma said quickly, pointing to the image on the hat. "That's what I saw, the monkey! That hat!" The said in a disjointed manner.
"Well, look at that. I think we just found Charlie." Kyle said, smiling a little. Alex nudged her.
"Well, fabulous that we've found him and whatever, but how do we get him out?" Everyone looked at Alex.
"We could, like, perform an excorcism." Emma said, staring at the wild-haired girl. Katy shook her head vigorously.
"Not without kidnapping the lead singer of a very popular and intellegent AND TALENTED band." Katy said. "It's like handing victory to those arses. It's like saying, "We've got him. Here's your chance to not suck because no one can compare you to anything." It's somplete suicide." Alex nodded.
"We've still gotta do it. It's the only way. I'm not so much in favor of the excorcism, but I think getting a hold of this "biscuit" and then taking it from there is the only course of action that's sensible." The six other girls nodded, and Alex put her hand in the middle of the circle of females.
"Who's with me?" No one said anything, and she sighed. "I know it's not going to be easy, but please. I'm not going to be stuck listening to fucking Nickelback, and I know that's not what any of you want." They nodded. "Alright, then let me ask this again. Who's with me? " She placed her hand in the center of them once more, and one by one, the girls placed there hands on top of the hers.
Nothing could stop The Division of Joy.
A/N: Alright, guys. Chapter two of this madness. As is tradition, or at least, is going to become tradition, it's time to play "Who wrote this fucking chapter?" Wait. I don't think Katy would be okay with that name.
Time to play, "Who wrote this freaking chapter?"
WAS IT:
A) Crystal
B)Alex
C)SARAH
D)KYLE
Winner gets a motherfucking cameo!!
"This is re-dick. There are billions of hat racks in Chicago. Right now. Then, we have to take into consideration that they're fooling us and this hat-rack isn't even in Chicago. If my calculations are correct..."
PLONKED. Before Sarah could say another word, a bout of room temperature liquid came pouring over her head, smelling sour and cheap all the way down.
"You need to calm the fuck down." Alex said, setting the now empty wine bottle on top of the dead radio. Sarah, was fuming. She sat her wine-covered glasses on the table, and stormed off into the other room, for the purpose of changing into something that didn't smell so...plonk-y.
Alex, Katy, Crystal, Emma, Kyle and CeCe remained in the room, Alex being the only one standing.
"Where does Sarah keep those ridiculous dolls of hers, because the head underneath The Hair is forming a plan..." Emma pointed over at the closed wooden chest near the entrance of Sarah's kitchen.
"There." Alex nodded, and went to the large box, picking up its weight and carrying it into the living room.
"Okay." She said, opening it and removing a very old Darth Vader action figure, and Ken...the Barbie. "We're going to need to take them down by force." Everyone looked at her, waiting for further instruction. Alex noticed and sighed. "That's as far as I've gotten. Sorry."
The girls nodded slightly, and began rummaging through the chest, calling dibbs on the action figure that would represent them. Crystal reached in, pulling out an obviously aged Super hero toy, and laughed.
"HeMan. This is me. Fucking yes." The computer to the right of them began emitting sparks for about 4 seconds, then, the screen went blank, revealing a dead computer. Crystal made a face. "Just let Sarah think she did that. Not me."
Katy went for the hilarious Thundercats figure she found after reaching her hand into the box only once, and CeCe picked up the light pink mass of plastic that was Strawberry Shortcake, setting it among the other's on the table. Kyle, who was already playing vigorously with her choice, Han Solo, received looks from each of the girls, and reluctantly placed her representative with the others as well.
"What should Sarah be?" Crystal asked, looking through the remaining figurines in the chest. She held up a Yoda figure. "What about Yoda?" Kyle shook her head.
"The only thing Sarah and Yoda have in common is their habit of not wording sentences like anyone else might. Bad choice." Kyle went over to Crystal, joining in the task of finding Sarah's figurine. She picked up a Ninja Turtle.
"How about Raphael?" Kyle asked, turning the toy to face the other girls. They nodded in approval and she set the doll with the other six.
"Alright." Emma said, headed for the table. Suddenly, her hand gripped her forehead, and she sat, quickly, focusing on nothing, letting her mind do all the work.
A stage. 4 men as it's occupants, and one of them, wearing a shirt that said "Sith happens." His voice was bouncing off the walls, as was the bassist...not to mention the lead guitarist.
His hat, revealed a monkey, smiling. His music, revealed Genius.
Suddenly, a girl appeared on stage. Her shirt, picturing a cow, said EvieMoo, and Emma paid no attention to her. EvieMoo was pointing dramatically at the hat atop the singers head, but still, Emma ignored her.
"..Stop by this Disaster Town..."
Emma quickly shook her head, re-entering reality, and laughing, remembering the wording on the shirt the boy had been wearing. The other girls, including Sarah, who had re-joined them thinking she didn't smell like plonk anymore (she actually still did), gathered around their vision-seeing friend.
"What'd you see, Emma?" Katy asked, sitting down next to her. Emma smiled, remembering.
"4 boys. One of them was wearing a really funny shirt. It said, "Sith Happens."" Emma laughed.
"What do you think it all means?" Katy asked again.
"Probably means Darth Vader is supposed to be my representative, bitches." Alex rolled her eyes.
"Probably not. Too many times we let your visions slide because you don't pay attention to the important stuff. Was anyone saying anything?" She got an idea suddenly. "Was anyone wearing a hat?"
Emma closed her eyes, focusing hard on the scene she had just....seen...
"A girl was there. Her shirt said Evie Moo. I don't know why. She was pointing at something...at...ugh. I don't remember." She kept her focus strong, clearing her mind, concentrating on what the mystery girl had been directing her arms at. "A monkey. There was a monkey on the hat. He was singing. Words, um, he said...gah. I can't..." She made her focus more intense. "Stop by this disaster town." Katy's eyes grew wide, and Sarah stood.
"Google." She walked over to her computer, and sat down, moving the mouse to awaken the screen. Nothing happened. "What the hell? This worked an hour ago? Why isn't it working now?" She pulled on the mouse and tossed against the wall. "Fuck that." She pulled her sidekick out of her pocket. "What was it? Stop by this disaster town, or something?" She looked at Emma, who nodded. "Alright. And, by the way, Crystal. Don't think you're off the hook. I know that mouth of yours killed my computer." Crystal made a face.
"Why doesn't it kill you?" Sarah looked up, and Crystal closed her eyes. "I mean that in the best way possible. It's just, you're...human, and stuff. Why are you immuned?" Sarah nodded, understanding the question.
"I take my vitamin C." Katy laughed, loudly.
"I don't think that has anything to do with it." Sarah rolled her eyes, and looked back down at the sidekick.
"Has anyone ever heard of 'Fall Out Boy'?" Everyone looked at Sarah.
"You retard, it's The Fall Out Boyz and yes, .we heard of 'em..." Crystal smiled. The other girls nodded.
Sarah continued to search. "Whoa, 6 twatzillion images!" She gasped. "Ok, really did not want to see that!". She groaned, the girls squinted in at her screen.
"Hot damn!" Crystal laughed.
"Is that a penis?" Katy asked.
"That's a penis." Alex reiterated.
"That's a penis!!" Sarah cried, her disgusted frown, slightly excited at the image.
"That IS a penis!" Kyle affirmed, nodding with a huge grin.
A hush sound fell upon the group of girls,
"Hat rack!!" Emma blurted out, startling them all. They followed her finger and eyeballed the small screen.
"Indeed..." Alex pondered.
"Isn't he just a handsome little biscuit?" Katy said, smiling a little.
"That hat Katy...." Crystal scorned. Katy made no response, quite possibly not even hearing.
"Enlarge that image Sarah...." Alex instructed her. Sarah fiddled with her device and tapped it hard with the palm of her hand, more of a spanking than anything else.
"This is just obscure!" She frowned.
"Obsurd....." Emma mouthed to the girls, they all nodded in acknowledgement. "There!" Emma said quickly, pointing to the image on the hat. "That's what I saw, the monkey! That hat!" The said in a disjointed manner.
"Well, look at that. I think we just found Charlie." Kyle said, smiling a little. Alex nudged her.
"Well, fabulous that we've found him and whatever, but how do we get him out?" Everyone looked at Alex.
"We could, like, perform an excorcism." Emma said, staring at the wild-haired girl. Katy shook her head vigorously.
"Not without kidnapping the lead singer of a very popular and intellegent AND TALENTED band." Katy said. "It's like handing victory to those arses. It's like saying, "We've got him. Here's your chance to not suck because no one can compare you to anything." It's somplete suicide." Alex nodded.
"We've still gotta do it. It's the only way. I'm not so much in favor of the excorcism, but I think getting a hold of this "biscuit" and then taking it from there is the only course of action that's sensible." The six other girls nodded, and Alex put her hand in the middle of the circle of females.
"Who's with me?" No one said anything, and she sighed. "I know it's not going to be easy, but please. I'm not going to be stuck listening to fucking Nickelback, and I know that's not what any of you want." They nodded. "Alright, then let me ask this again. Who's with me? " She placed her hand in the center of them once more, and one by one, the girls placed there hands on top of the hers.
Nothing could stop The Division of Joy.
A/N: Alright, guys. Chapter two of this madness. As is tradition, or at least, is going to become tradition, it's time to play "Who wrote this fucking chapter?" Wait. I don't think Katy would be okay with that name.
Time to play, "Who wrote this freaking chapter?"
WAS IT:
A) Crystal
B)Alex
C)SARAH
D)KYLE
Winner gets a motherfucking cameo!!
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