Categories > TV > Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Ordinary Lives
The park. It was a quiet place to try and get away. But for Buffy, it was just someplace other then home to be alone. Her mother had tried getting her to stay, but it had been weeks since she was either cooped up at the hospital or at home. So, here she was in the park.
It had no real significance or meaning for her. Sure, she and Spike had spent some time here. But that didn't mean that was why she was here. She could be here if she wanted to be. There was no reason at all.
The stars above her twinkled and smiled at her. It was something she hadn't felt in weeks. Ever since she had woke up to find out that her own father had tried to kill her. And he was showing no remorse for it at all.
Sighing heavily, she began twirling in the swing that she sat upon. It made her dizzy. It made her feel like she did anyways. Anything else would plain and simply be an illusion, that was for sure.
For her life was spinning out of control now. There was no way that she could see of getting back to the path that she had once been on. And there was one solution to the pain. There was one way that all of the confusion could be stopped.
She let herself spin to a stop. This was not the way that she had planned to do it or the time that she had planned to do it. But it was just so convenient that she might as well get it over with.
The blond stood up and scavenged around in her pocket. There were two things that she would need if she were to do what she had finally decided to. One was a letter she had written to all of her friends and her mother the day she had gotten out of the hospital. The second was a razor blade she had begun carrying with her at all times.
There was a sudden eerie quiet to the night. The moon seemed to sneak behind what little clouds were out. And it seemed to point a spot light right down on her. Almost like it wanted to tell the whole world what she was about to do.
The razor blade felt good in her hand. She had thought that her hands would begin to shake or that her hands would begin to sweat. She even thought that perhaps her heart would start racing in anticipation.
But none of these things were happening. There was just a sudden calm about her. One that she had never felt before her in her life. One that she had wished for so many times. One that could take all the pain and the fears away.
This told her that she was doing the right thing. That it was indeed for the best. A sad smile crept across her face. She was sure that someone would come along and try to stop her. But it was not to be. It was like it was her time.
Finally, she took a deep breath. In her mind, she pictured two people and knew that they would be sad. But she also knew that they would eventually be all right. It would take time, but they could move on with their lives.
So, gripping the razor so tight that her knuckles turned white, she held it to her wrist. A star streaked across the night sky and her sudden thought of a wish popped into her head. But the wish that she wished would never come true. So, slowly and deeply, she made the cut. It wasn't long before she was on the ground. And her body, mind, and soul were becoming cold to the living world.
"""
Oz scanned the crowd. He was having trouble concentrating on his playing this night. For his Faith was no where to be seen. And hadn't really been with him, not really, since he had given her the ring.
It was making him wonder. It was making him think that he shouldn't have given her the ring. That perhaps it was too soon for such a bold maneuver. But it was how he felt so he was wanting to show her.
They finished the set and it was luckily time to take a break. He made his way up to the counter and bought himself a soda. Again, his eyes scanned the crowd. But no one familiar caught his eye. And that made the disappointment grow.
"Can't find something you like?" A female voice startled him from his thoughts. He turned to see a woman about his height with dark hair dressed all in black leather smiling seductively at him. "Or you just haven't come across me yet." The smile grew even larger as she held out her hand to him. "Name's Veruca."
"Oz." He tentatively took the offered hand. But he didn't hold it long. It was like he did not want to even think about touching another woman at this point.
"I know." Vercua hopped up on the barstool next to his. "I've been a big fan for a while now. I'm also looking for a band myself. The last one I was in, well, we kinda had a parting of the ways. I sing. And I can play guitar if need be."
"Not looking." Oz found himself attracted to this woman for some reason. Was it her looks? Was it her straightforwardness? Was it the fact that he was wondering about Faith?
"Oh, I've heard rumors." Veruca nodded towards the stage. "After tonight, Nicole won't be your lead singer. Confidentially, she's my best friend and we've been talking. She's not all that happy at the moment. So, you'll be looking in a short while I assure you."
Oz turned to look up at the stage. There seemed to be some kind of tension between his lead singer and the bass player. Perhaps this strange woman was right. He turned his attention back towards her. "And why come to me?"
"Devon pretends to be the leader of your band." Vercua moved closer to Oz. "But we both know who is the one to get things done." She raised an eyebrow and put her hand on his.
Oz quickly stood up. "I think you best talk to Devon." He gulped down the rest of his soda and made his way back to the stage. There was something in her touch. And it made him think of Faith. And how he wanted her so much. But yet..."""
"""
It could very easily have been the setting for a very romantic get together. There were candles all over the room. And there was soft music playing. And there were even flowers sitting on the table next to the bed.
But it wasn't a romantic evening that was planned. Instead, it was two young women that needed to talk. For Tara had started to tell Willow what was going on in her mind a dozen times during the day at school. But they had been either interrupted or she had lost the nerve to tell her.
So, it was now time to spill. Spill what had happened in that alleyway with her newfound sister. One that she had whitewashed to spare her sister getting hurt.
But it was brewing inside of her. It was eating away at her. It was driving her nuts. Tara had never held back anything from her girl. She had always been totally honest. And this not sharing was enough to really make her not want to even look at her because of the pain it might inflict.
Willow was moving gingerly this evening. She still got sore from time to time. But she was walking most of the time without the aid of crutches or anything. It wouldn't be long and there would be no signs of the terrible accident that nearly took her life. Only minimal scars.
Tara pulled back the blanket on the bed that they shared. It was getting late and she knew that her girl would need to get to sleep soon. School was still in session. And she knew the scholarly side of her girl.
"We gonna talk now?" Willow slipped into bed. She watched as Tara blew out all the candles and turned off the music. "Or is it straight to snuggling tonight?"
The blond smiled as she got into bed. "No more avoiding for me. Or getting interrupted. And we can snuggle while we talk." The redhead didn't answer. Instead, she put her head on Tara's chest. "This goes back to what happened the night I found out that Anya and I are sisters."
"Really?" Willow sounded surprised. "I thought it was all pretty simple and clear. That you two got to talking. That someone tried to hurt you and Anya managed to save you. And told you that your dad still is after you."
"I wish it were." This made Willow sit up and look into that ocean of blue that was Tara's eyes. "You see, it was Anya that tried to hurt me. But she stopped herself. Our own father asked her to punish me."
Now Willow sat straight up. "Punish you? Exactly how? I'm so not liking the sounds of this."
Tara smiled nervously. "She had a gun. She shot at me, but couldn't go through with it. She instead dropped it and broke down crying. And then she told me about us being sisters and how Dad still wants me dead."
Willow just stared at her everything for the longest of times. This was something big that she had never thought would happen. "You lied to me?"
"I didn't lie. Exactly." Tara frowned and sighed heavily. "We were just afraid of the trouble that she could get into. And we were afraid that everyone would end up hating her. To me, the important thing was that she came through in the end."
There was a sudden look of hurt on Willow's face. "And it also means that I'm not so sure that you think you can trust me. Don't you think I would have kept your secret? That I still will? I can be trusted. Or can I?" There was an anger in her voice.
"I'm sorry." Tara tried to take Willow's hand, but the redhead pulled away. "Willow?" There was no response. She watched her girl lay back down and roll so that her back was to her. There would be no more talking tonight.
It had no real significance or meaning for her. Sure, she and Spike had spent some time here. But that didn't mean that was why she was here. She could be here if she wanted to be. There was no reason at all.
The stars above her twinkled and smiled at her. It was something she hadn't felt in weeks. Ever since she had woke up to find out that her own father had tried to kill her. And he was showing no remorse for it at all.
Sighing heavily, she began twirling in the swing that she sat upon. It made her dizzy. It made her feel like she did anyways. Anything else would plain and simply be an illusion, that was for sure.
For her life was spinning out of control now. There was no way that she could see of getting back to the path that she had once been on. And there was one solution to the pain. There was one way that all of the confusion could be stopped.
She let herself spin to a stop. This was not the way that she had planned to do it or the time that she had planned to do it. But it was just so convenient that she might as well get it over with.
The blond stood up and scavenged around in her pocket. There were two things that she would need if she were to do what she had finally decided to. One was a letter she had written to all of her friends and her mother the day she had gotten out of the hospital. The second was a razor blade she had begun carrying with her at all times.
There was a sudden eerie quiet to the night. The moon seemed to sneak behind what little clouds were out. And it seemed to point a spot light right down on her. Almost like it wanted to tell the whole world what she was about to do.
The razor blade felt good in her hand. She had thought that her hands would begin to shake or that her hands would begin to sweat. She even thought that perhaps her heart would start racing in anticipation.
But none of these things were happening. There was just a sudden calm about her. One that she had never felt before her in her life. One that she had wished for so many times. One that could take all the pain and the fears away.
This told her that she was doing the right thing. That it was indeed for the best. A sad smile crept across her face. She was sure that someone would come along and try to stop her. But it was not to be. It was like it was her time.
Finally, she took a deep breath. In her mind, she pictured two people and knew that they would be sad. But she also knew that they would eventually be all right. It would take time, but they could move on with their lives.
So, gripping the razor so tight that her knuckles turned white, she held it to her wrist. A star streaked across the night sky and her sudden thought of a wish popped into her head. But the wish that she wished would never come true. So, slowly and deeply, she made the cut. It wasn't long before she was on the ground. And her body, mind, and soul were becoming cold to the living world.
"""
This was their first night apart in what seemed like forever and it was killing Faith. For there were several reasons. One, she knew that Oz was wondering. Wondering why she had yet to put on the ring that he had given her.
It was silly. Or was it? The reason behind the non wearing of the said ring. For, she knew what it could mean. It could mean that they were nothing more then friends. Or it could mean oh so much more. But which did it mean?
And that was the reason for the lacking of the wearing of the jewelry. Her fear of commitment. After all she was only a freshman in high school. And Oz was a junior. So that was one reason for the noncommital right?
The front porch was a very familiar place for her. But it felt so lonely without her big brother to share it with. This would be exactly one of those things that the two of them would have sat around and talked about for hours.
But sadly, and for the good, he now had his own place. And he had his own honey to worry about. And a bigger event was in the making. Her big brother was already headed for the altar. Now that was shocking to her.
Not because she didn't think he was a great guy and deserved happiness. No, it was simply because he had, up until this point, had such lousy luck with the female population. And that was so sad indeed.
But her big brother had managed to get it together and snag himself a pretty fine woman. And she was getting to be maid of honor. It was of the coolest man. Even though she hardly knew Fred, she wanted her to be maid of honor.
But those thoughts were deflecting her from the reason that she sat out her alone wrapped up in a blanket. Why had she declined Oz's invitation to watch him perform at The Bronze. She had always before this jumped at the opportunity.
But tonight, she sat all alone and cold in her own little world. Underneath the blanket, she held tightly to the ring. The one that could mean so much or mean so little. And it was the reason that she was feeling oh so alone.
Part of her wondered something. Was all of this because she feared true happiness? Again, young and all, but she had never had a real relationship before. All of those felt so superficial to her that she had had before. Like those guys were just using her. And it pissed her off.
In her heart she knew that Oz was so different. She knew that he was the one for her. That there was nothing that the two could not overcome by staying together and standing by one another. Then why in the hell did she hesitate to put on that damn ring? Fear.
"""
Oz scanned the crowd. He was having trouble concentrating on his playing this night. For his Faith was no where to be seen. And hadn't really been with him, not really, since he had given her the ring.
It was making him wonder. It was making him think that he shouldn't have given her the ring. That perhaps it was too soon for such a bold maneuver. But it was how he felt so he was wanting to show her.
They finished the set and it was luckily time to take a break. He made his way up to the counter and bought himself a soda. Again, his eyes scanned the crowd. But no one familiar caught his eye. And that made the disappointment grow.
"Can't find something you like?" A female voice startled him from his thoughts. He turned to see a woman about his height with dark hair dressed all in black leather smiling seductively at him. "Or you just haven't come across me yet." The smile grew even larger as she held out her hand to him. "Name's Veruca."
"Oz." He tentatively took the offered hand. But he didn't hold it long. It was like he did not want to even think about touching another woman at this point.
"I know." Vercua hopped up on the barstool next to his. "I've been a big fan for a while now. I'm also looking for a band myself. The last one I was in, well, we kinda had a parting of the ways. I sing. And I can play guitar if need be."
"Not looking." Oz found himself attracted to this woman for some reason. Was it her looks? Was it her straightforwardness? Was it the fact that he was wondering about Faith?
"Oh, I've heard rumors." Veruca nodded towards the stage. "After tonight, Nicole won't be your lead singer. Confidentially, she's my best friend and we've been talking. She's not all that happy at the moment. So, you'll be looking in a short while I assure you."
Oz turned to look up at the stage. There seemed to be some kind of tension between his lead singer and the bass player. Perhaps this strange woman was right. He turned his attention back towards her. "And why come to me?"
"Devon pretends to be the leader of your band." Vercua moved closer to Oz. "But we both know who is the one to get things done." She raised an eyebrow and put her hand on his.
Oz quickly stood up. "I think you best talk to Devon." He gulped down the rest of his soda and made his way back to the stage. There was something in her touch. And it made him think of Faith. And how he wanted her so much. But yet..."""
"""
It could very easily have been the setting for a very romantic get together. There were candles all over the room. And there was soft music playing. And there were even flowers sitting on the table next to the bed.
But it wasn't a romantic evening that was planned. Instead, it was two young women that needed to talk. For Tara had started to tell Willow what was going on in her mind a dozen times during the day at school. But they had been either interrupted or she had lost the nerve to tell her.
So, it was now time to spill. Spill what had happened in that alleyway with her newfound sister. One that she had whitewashed to spare her sister getting hurt.
But it was brewing inside of her. It was eating away at her. It was driving her nuts. Tara had never held back anything from her girl. She had always been totally honest. And this not sharing was enough to really make her not want to even look at her because of the pain it might inflict.
Willow was moving gingerly this evening. She still got sore from time to time. But she was walking most of the time without the aid of crutches or anything. It wouldn't be long and there would be no signs of the terrible accident that nearly took her life. Only minimal scars.
Tara pulled back the blanket on the bed that they shared. It was getting late and she knew that her girl would need to get to sleep soon. School was still in session. And she knew the scholarly side of her girl.
"We gonna talk now?" Willow slipped into bed. She watched as Tara blew out all the candles and turned off the music. "Or is it straight to snuggling tonight?"
The blond smiled as she got into bed. "No more avoiding for me. Or getting interrupted. And we can snuggle while we talk." The redhead didn't answer. Instead, she put her head on Tara's chest. "This goes back to what happened the night I found out that Anya and I are sisters."
"Really?" Willow sounded surprised. "I thought it was all pretty simple and clear. That you two got to talking. That someone tried to hurt you and Anya managed to save you. And told you that your dad still is after you."
"I wish it were." This made Willow sit up and look into that ocean of blue that was Tara's eyes. "You see, it was Anya that tried to hurt me. But she stopped herself. Our own father asked her to punish me."
Now Willow sat straight up. "Punish you? Exactly how? I'm so not liking the sounds of this."
Tara smiled nervously. "She had a gun. She shot at me, but couldn't go through with it. She instead dropped it and broke down crying. And then she told me about us being sisters and how Dad still wants me dead."
Willow just stared at her everything for the longest of times. This was something big that she had never thought would happen. "You lied to me?"
"I didn't lie. Exactly." Tara frowned and sighed heavily. "We were just afraid of the trouble that she could get into. And we were afraid that everyone would end up hating her. To me, the important thing was that she came through in the end."
There was a sudden look of hurt on Willow's face. "And it also means that I'm not so sure that you think you can trust me. Don't you think I would have kept your secret? That I still will? I can be trusted. Or can I?" There was an anger in her voice.
"I'm sorry." Tara tried to take Willow's hand, but the redhead pulled away. "Willow?" There was no response. She watched her girl lay back down and roll so that her back was to her. There would be no more talking tonight.
Sign up to rate and review this story