Categories > TV > Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Ordinary Lives
There seemed to be such a soft white quiet around her. It was hard to explain. But there was peace. And she felt at ease for the first time in months. But was this just another of those illusions. How could she feel anything but pain and hurt.
Buffy was surprised that this is what was on the other side. At least, that's how she was thinking about it. That she had crossed over or something and was either in limbo or in heaven. But it still wasn't what she had expected at all.
That's when a familiar voice rang out. One that she knew but yet had never really even met in life. She had only seen her around school. And yet, here she was now talking to her in this limbo. Could things get anymore confusing?
"That's right Buffy my dear." Drusilla walked out of this mist. It was the only way to describe it. "I know I'd be the last person that you'd expect to see in the hereafter, but I'm the one that wanted to talk to you. So, I got the job."
Buffy looked around her, even more confused then before. "Where exactly am I? And what am I doing here?"
"You my dear are in limbo." Drusilla shrugged at her look. "It's a pleasant place and all. But you should see heaven. Now that place is wondrous indeed." Buffy remained silent. "Sorry dear. I know this is a lot to take in. But you aren't dead. Yet. You could be though. You know it was stupid to do what you did."
Buffy shook her head. "You have no idea what I was going through or why I did what I did. You have no right to talk to me about this."
"Sorry dear. But I do know." Drusilla waved her hand in the air. "I was on drugs from the time I was thirteen years old. You name it, and I tried it. Anything to keep me from feeling the pain. The only time that I got sober is when I was dating Spike. And then, things happened that weren't his fault and I started back on them again. And yet, he to this day blames himself for me not being able to cope and then my death. But it was my time to die. It's not yours. You have so much life yet to live."
Buffy was at a real loss of words. Someone that finally even somewhat got what she was going through. "Do you think it would have been different if you hadn't pushed Spike away?"
That brought a giggle out of Drusilla. "Perhaps. But my time was my time. Everyone has a set time. It's just that some are stupid enough to make that time come faster then others. And when they do, it puts the whole universe out of whack for quite a while. There is a set plan. Just trust in it. The pain is worth it if you know that there is good that will come of it."
This made Buffy shake her head. "The pain is good? How in the world can that be? I've had so much pain the past few months. And so have all of my friends. When in the hell is it going to stop so that we can have good again?"
"Watch your language young lady." Drusilla giggled again. "It's not for us to know the plan. But just keep in mind, that if you trust in yourself, trust in others, everything will work itself out. And in the end, there will only be happiness. Just believe. It's harder done then said I know. But it is what you need to do from now on."
Buffy looked down at her wrist. In this world, there was no cut. In this world, there was no blood slowing pouring out and with it her life slipping away. In this world she had not made the biggest mistake of her life.
She quickly looked back up at Drusilla. "Is it too late? Can I still fix this? Can I learn to live again?"
Drusilla shrugged. "Anything is possible. You can do whatever it is you choose to do. Just know that it is not your time and if you believe, you will find happiness again. So stop hiding yourself and stop pushing people away. Life is worth it. Pain and all. I wish I had mine to live again."
And with that, Drusilla flashed out of existence. Buffy stared for a moment. She let all the words sink in. She had a life to live. And she would never ever do something so stupid again as to take it away.
"""
Late nights were not unusual for one Jenny Calendar. Because of the things that had happened as a child, she would often have trouble sleeping. And she would often just sit alone for hours. For she never had friends. And her brother seemed to shut himself off in his own little world. She had always hated how he would never come to her. Even to this day, he would barely acknowledge that they were siblings.
Those habits seemed to be hard to break. Her thinking that she had no one to count on. That was why she had done what she had to the one person that seemed to get her the most. One Rupert Giles. A man that could see through all of her defenses. And still wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.
But sometimes, the pain was too much and she would sit alone and try to handle things herself. It was what she did. Just like when she was a child. Being to independent had its drawbacks. And she was trying to free herself from it. But it had been so many years that she had felt this way. So, it would take time.
She heard a noise coming from the kitchen. Her first thought was that Giles had awaken and that he was looking for her. She had spent the night yet again. And so, she made her way into the kitchen. Seeing Tara there was a little bit of a surprise to her and she quickly turned to go.
"W-wait." Tara spoke so softly that Jenny barely heard her. "I could use someone to talk to. And I think this is more then what most of my friends could handle. Besides, they all have big problems of their own."
"We all do." Jenny quickly made her way over to the young woman. "But if we talk to people, we can get through anything. So, if you have something you want to talk about. Oh, and it will be held in confidence, of that I assure you."
"Thank you." They both made their way back to the living room. They snuggled together under the blankets. "I feel like you are my big sister at the moment."
"Well, I'll take that as a very good compliment." Jenny laughed softly. "Much, much older sister. But that's not what is important. What's going on? I hope I can help."
Tara sighed heavily. "You've heard that Anya and I are really half sisters." Jenny nodded, not wanting to interrupt. "Well, there's more to the story. The brief version is that she tried to hurt me. But stopped herself. And all because our father asked her too."
"Oh my." Jenny was quite shocked at this. "Well, that is a really big thing. But you two were able to talk it out and sort it out, right? I mean I've seen you around school. You two seem to be close."
"It's not me and Anya that the problem is with." Tara looked away. She didn't like talking about this with anyone other then her girl. But Willow was so upset at her now, that just was not a possibility. "I didn't tell Willow the whole truth either. Not until just tonight. And she's really upset. She won't even talk to me. I've never seen her like this before."
"Oh." Jenny sighed heavily. "Well, it must have hurt a lot. I mean, I can see, I think, what she was feeling. That you didn't trust her enough with the whole truth."
Tara nodded. "That's exactly what she said as well. That it came down to the fact that it doesn't appear that I trust her. But I do. I don't know why I didn't tell her."
"I think I do." Tara looked up at the older woman. "You were afraid of exactly what is happening now. That Willow would not be able to handle it. And now, it's not about handling it necessarily, it's about trust. And how you can ever get that back. It's not an easy thing. Believe me I know."
"I know." Tara sighed again. "It's just that my heart is breaking at the thought that I actually caused her pain. That she doesn't think I should trust her. I just don't know what to do to make it up to her."
"My advice," Jenny smiled sweetly at the younger woman. "Just give her time. She knows that you love her. And she, I think, in her heart knows that you do trust her. It was just a poor judgement call on your part. It will take time for you two to find that trust that you once had. But if you are willing to wait and work on it, that trust can be rebuilt. And things will be better then before."
This finally made Tara smile sadly. "As long as I know that there is hope for us, I'll wait until the end of time. I love her that much."
Buffy was surprised that this is what was on the other side. At least, that's how she was thinking about it. That she had crossed over or something and was either in limbo or in heaven. But it still wasn't what she had expected at all.
That's when a familiar voice rang out. One that she knew but yet had never really even met in life. She had only seen her around school. And yet, here she was now talking to her in this limbo. Could things get anymore confusing?
"That's right Buffy my dear." Drusilla walked out of this mist. It was the only way to describe it. "I know I'd be the last person that you'd expect to see in the hereafter, but I'm the one that wanted to talk to you. So, I got the job."
Buffy looked around her, even more confused then before. "Where exactly am I? And what am I doing here?"
"You my dear are in limbo." Drusilla shrugged at her look. "It's a pleasant place and all. But you should see heaven. Now that place is wondrous indeed." Buffy remained silent. "Sorry dear. I know this is a lot to take in. But you aren't dead. Yet. You could be though. You know it was stupid to do what you did."
Buffy shook her head. "You have no idea what I was going through or why I did what I did. You have no right to talk to me about this."
"Sorry dear. But I do know." Drusilla waved her hand in the air. "I was on drugs from the time I was thirteen years old. You name it, and I tried it. Anything to keep me from feeling the pain. The only time that I got sober is when I was dating Spike. And then, things happened that weren't his fault and I started back on them again. And yet, he to this day blames himself for me not being able to cope and then my death. But it was my time to die. It's not yours. You have so much life yet to live."
Buffy was at a real loss of words. Someone that finally even somewhat got what she was going through. "Do you think it would have been different if you hadn't pushed Spike away?"
That brought a giggle out of Drusilla. "Perhaps. But my time was my time. Everyone has a set time. It's just that some are stupid enough to make that time come faster then others. And when they do, it puts the whole universe out of whack for quite a while. There is a set plan. Just trust in it. The pain is worth it if you know that there is good that will come of it."
This made Buffy shake her head. "The pain is good? How in the world can that be? I've had so much pain the past few months. And so have all of my friends. When in the hell is it going to stop so that we can have good again?"
"Watch your language young lady." Drusilla giggled again. "It's not for us to know the plan. But just keep in mind, that if you trust in yourself, trust in others, everything will work itself out. And in the end, there will only be happiness. Just believe. It's harder done then said I know. But it is what you need to do from now on."
Buffy looked down at her wrist. In this world, there was no cut. In this world, there was no blood slowing pouring out and with it her life slipping away. In this world she had not made the biggest mistake of her life.
She quickly looked back up at Drusilla. "Is it too late? Can I still fix this? Can I learn to live again?"
Drusilla shrugged. "Anything is possible. You can do whatever it is you choose to do. Just know that it is not your time and if you believe, you will find happiness again. So stop hiding yourself and stop pushing people away. Life is worth it. Pain and all. I wish I had mine to live again."
And with that, Drusilla flashed out of existence. Buffy stared for a moment. She let all the words sink in. She had a life to live. And she would never ever do something so stupid again as to take it away.
"""
Spike was still hating himself. Hating himself because of who his father was. It was still his fault, in his mind, that Buffy had gotten hurt. Along with Darla and his brother. But Buffy was the one not dealing. Even Darla had started at least talking to his big brother.
But not Buffy. She had closed herself off from all of her friends. She had closed herself off from him. She had even closed herself off from her mother. And that was what scared the young man more then anything. Because he knew how close that the mother and daughter had once been.
So here he was walking in the park. For him, it was a special place. Before he'd met Buffy, it was a place that he would come after dark just to be alone and think. He would love to lay on the merry-go-round and look up at the stars.
The stars held so many possibilities. There were so many things yet unknown about that space up there. So many things that could happen. It was like they said in one of those sci fi shows. It was the final frontier. The one thing that remained unexplored unlike here on earth.
Here on earth, it was the same. He should have known that even with Buffy it would be the same. He had never had a relationship that would last. But he knew why. He knew it was because he always found some way of pushing them away.
But this one with Buffy was so different. This one had been more to him then all the others combined. And he wasn't the one that had pushed her away. It was his father and her father. And it royally pissed him off.
He vowed right then and there that he would never be anything like his father. This big time mob boss that didn't even care for his own sons. All he had wanted was for one of them to one day take over the business.
But he knew his brother didn't want that either. He knew that they would die before they would take over something that hurt so many innocent people. And it was time for that to be stopped. One way to do that.
He quickened his pace and nearly tripped over something in the process. His eyes widened and his heart started racing as he realized who he had nearly tripped over.
"Buffy!" It took only an instant for him to pick her up in his warm and protective arms. "Buffy!" He finally noticed the blood. "Good God!" In an instant, he had his t-shirt ripped and tightly wrapped around her wrist.
He picked her up and began running with her in his arms. His thought was that he couldn't be too late. That she had to be all right. That he couldn't live without her. It would be unbearable if that were to happen.
Spike heard a moan as he put her in front of him on his motorcycle. Buffy's head fell back to his shoulder. Their eyes met as hers weakly fluttered open. "Spike?"
That made him smile big. "I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. Now, let's get you to the hospital. I can't and won't lose you."
The motorcycle roared to life. "You're my hero." Her whispers could barely be heard over the engine. "And I'm sorry. I won't leave you again."
"Hush pet." Spike kissed her gently on the forehead. "Plenty of time for talk later. Just got to make sure that you are of the good. Then we'll talk about us and the future."
"""
Late nights were not unusual for one Jenny Calendar. Because of the things that had happened as a child, she would often have trouble sleeping. And she would often just sit alone for hours. For she never had friends. And her brother seemed to shut himself off in his own little world. She had always hated how he would never come to her. Even to this day, he would barely acknowledge that they were siblings.
Those habits seemed to be hard to break. Her thinking that she had no one to count on. That was why she had done what she had to the one person that seemed to get her the most. One Rupert Giles. A man that could see through all of her defenses. And still wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.
But sometimes, the pain was too much and she would sit alone and try to handle things herself. It was what she did. Just like when she was a child. Being to independent had its drawbacks. And she was trying to free herself from it. But it had been so many years that she had felt this way. So, it would take time.
She heard a noise coming from the kitchen. Her first thought was that Giles had awaken and that he was looking for her. She had spent the night yet again. And so, she made her way into the kitchen. Seeing Tara there was a little bit of a surprise to her and she quickly turned to go.
"W-wait." Tara spoke so softly that Jenny barely heard her. "I could use someone to talk to. And I think this is more then what most of my friends could handle. Besides, they all have big problems of their own."
"We all do." Jenny quickly made her way over to the young woman. "But if we talk to people, we can get through anything. So, if you have something you want to talk about. Oh, and it will be held in confidence, of that I assure you."
"Thank you." They both made their way back to the living room. They snuggled together under the blankets. "I feel like you are my big sister at the moment."
"Well, I'll take that as a very good compliment." Jenny laughed softly. "Much, much older sister. But that's not what is important. What's going on? I hope I can help."
Tara sighed heavily. "You've heard that Anya and I are really half sisters." Jenny nodded, not wanting to interrupt. "Well, there's more to the story. The brief version is that she tried to hurt me. But stopped herself. And all because our father asked her too."
"Oh my." Jenny was quite shocked at this. "Well, that is a really big thing. But you two were able to talk it out and sort it out, right? I mean I've seen you around school. You two seem to be close."
"It's not me and Anya that the problem is with." Tara looked away. She didn't like talking about this with anyone other then her girl. But Willow was so upset at her now, that just was not a possibility. "I didn't tell Willow the whole truth either. Not until just tonight. And she's really upset. She won't even talk to me. I've never seen her like this before."
"Oh." Jenny sighed heavily. "Well, it must have hurt a lot. I mean, I can see, I think, what she was feeling. That you didn't trust her enough with the whole truth."
Tara nodded. "That's exactly what she said as well. That it came down to the fact that it doesn't appear that I trust her. But I do. I don't know why I didn't tell her."
"I think I do." Tara looked up at the older woman. "You were afraid of exactly what is happening now. That Willow would not be able to handle it. And now, it's not about handling it necessarily, it's about trust. And how you can ever get that back. It's not an easy thing. Believe me I know."
"I know." Tara sighed again. "It's just that my heart is breaking at the thought that I actually caused her pain. That she doesn't think I should trust her. I just don't know what to do to make it up to her."
"My advice," Jenny smiled sweetly at the younger woman. "Just give her time. She knows that you love her. And she, I think, in her heart knows that you do trust her. It was just a poor judgement call on your part. It will take time for you two to find that trust that you once had. But if you are willing to wait and work on it, that trust can be rebuilt. And things will be better then before."
This finally made Tara smile sadly. "As long as I know that there is hope for us, I'll wait until the end of time. I love her that much."
Sign up to rate and review this story