Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > A collection of FG's understanding of a one-shot

'Tis the seasons to drink egg Plonk

by FrostedGlass 12 reviews

Original female characters from the FOB section hang out at a Christmas party and find out about the things they have in common. Get drunk on egg Plonk as well but that's a given, really.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor, Parody - Published: 2006-12-18 - Updated: 2006-12-18 - 2020 words

'Tis the seasons to drink egg Plonk

The characters used in this one-shot are the intellectual property of the writers given in parentheses and usually entertain you in the following stories (this one-shot might make more sense if you knew the story lines... but I wouldn't bet on it):

The Mistake: Ava (GwenMerlon)
Situation Hopeless: Ane (duckapple)
Collateral Damage: Braily (patrickdance4me)
This is the last Time: Lisa (riaryder)
I don't know how You do it: Bree (-LoVe-CaNt-SaVe-YoU-)*

I am Patrick Stump's Twin: Malerie (bandgeekfreak)
Sincerity's in, so don't You sound like you mean it: Belle (pixied_secrets)
Not Looking: Olivia (whatkatydid)
Cloak and Dagger: Collette (LOVELA)
This looks like a job for A.: A. (FrostedGlass)
Addict for Dramatics: Lola (MMMramen)
Sets of Three, They Say...: Meg (howshesews)

Saving the World, One Hat Rack at a Time: DoJ clan (DivisionofJoy)

Neither do I claim ownership of the characters**, nor can I be held responsible for the silliness of this story. Actually, I can. But I'm just gonna go and blame A. (Or Sheena?)



~ A ballroom, tables with various kinds of foods and drinks, a huge Christmas tree in the middle of the room with kitschy decoration*; an ass full of females, standing around in small groups, chatting away gayly ~

[Group 1]

Braily takes a raw carrot from Belle's paper plate and nibbles on it.

"Hey," Belle glares at her. "Do you think I didn't see that?"

Braily looks confused, "You... You can see me?"

"Duh," Belle flips her off.**

Lola huffs, "I know a guy who I wish was invisible... instead of making out with a whore."

Belle nods, "Tell me about it. My brother's doing the exact same thing."

"I don't understand why you guys can see me. I thought only Pete can see me," Braily scratches the back of her head. (Well, that was her intention anyway. She stopped being solid the moment her finger was about to touch the back of her head. So basically she's picking her nose from the inside of her head now.) "You see, I'm dead. I'm a ghost."

"Pete Wentz?" Belle's really got enough problems of her own than to start worrying about somebody else's problems. Especially if they're something trivial like being a zombie or whatever. The female kicks the piece of carrot that fell through Braily's hand. She wishes it was her good-for-nothing-other-than-doing-Greta brother Patrick. "I had a thing going on with him once. Or still have... I dunno."

"Well, that may explain why we're able to see you, dead ghost girl, "Lola points out. "I've exchanged body fluids with Pete as well. Maybe it's something in his... liquids."

Belle pretends to be throwing up, "Cut it out. You're disgusting. And so is his new hair cut... I wish he'd let somebody else do his hair than Andy without his glasses on."

"Really?" Braily asks, ignoring Belle's interjection. (In fact, it was mainly Pete's hair that made her get through life up to the point until she committed suicide. What did Belle know?) She's not so much interested in the reason for her being visible to the two women as in the Wentzian bed stunts. They had kissed before, so it was practically only a matter of time until they'd get it on. Most normal thing between an almost 30-year-old rock star and deceased teenage fan girl.*** "How is he?"

While Lola uses her hands to give Braily an idea of Pete's... bass (and Belle pushes Lola's hands together to give the ghost girl a more accurate measurement of the... instrument), loud laughter rings through the room.

It comes from Collette.

[Group 2]

Collette stops laughing about Meg's joke. (Thank God. It's a pretty obnoxious laugh and Meg should probably be grateful that she can't hear it.)**

"So, how do you know Collette?" Olivia asks Meg (who is perfectly able to read lips, duh.)

"Oh, we basically do the same guy. That's how we met," Meg (who is perfectly comfortable talking to a complete stranger with a voice she's never heard before all of a sudden - two words: egg Plonk) replies cheerfully.

"Oh, I see," Olivia smiles brightly. "So you're fucking my boyfriend too? The world's a village after all." She extends her hand to Meg who shakes it. "Nice to make your acquaintance."

"So, girls," Collette chimes in. "What do you think of the thing he does with his tongue?" Collette's had dogs slobering all over her for the most part of her life but they had NOTHING on Patrick's oral skills.

An interesting discussion beings. And that's when the narrator pulls you away from the scene and pushes you towards

[Group 3]

Lisa, Bree, Ava and Ane are gathered around the giant bowl filled with egg Plonk.

"Life sucks," Lisa points out and downs all of the alcoholic beverage in her plastic cup in one go.

"I wish I was dead," Bree sighs melancholically and copies the other woman.

Ava helps herself to another cup and lets the sweet liquid pour down her throat, "First I lose Patrick's phone number and then I find out that I also lost my best friend Wendy forever."

"I deserve the most sympathy here," Ane says. "I'm preggers so I can't even drink my sorrow away."

"Oh please... I just found out that I'm the Get-even-on-my-girlfriend-who-cheated-on-me girl to Patrick," Lisa rolls her eyes, empties another cup and crushes it in her hand. "And his current girlfriend Anna's a real bitch."

"Screw you! I'm not a bitch!" Ane yells at her.

"AnnA, I said," Lisa sets things straight.

Ane looks apologetical, "Sorry... My mood is just super messed up because of this pregnancy. And apparently my ears too. I'm so worried that Patrick's not ready to be a father yet."

Ava's eyes dart from Lisa's face to Ane's. "You're talking about Patrick Stump, right? Hm, maybe I shouldn't let that freak call me then. You surely don't portray him as a loving boyfriend." Then again, maybe it was the presence of a bastard in her life that would give the right impetus for her writing. After all, angst-ridden drama stories usually sell the best. "Yes, Ava," she thinks to herself. "Go for it. Let's stump up your writing career!"

"HA!" Bree rolls her eyes. "At least none of you are named after a kind of cheese!"

"I thought you were so down because your Mom's just committed suicide?" Lisa wonders out loud.

"And because you have to go live with your odd father who's got a way too young girlfriend?" Ane shares her confusion.

(Ava's occupied with drafting out the chapter titles of her up-coming book, featuring several characters based on real-life. She would have to get a couple of really good lawyers.)

"A GODDAMN CHEESE!" Bree screams.

"Do you want some more cheese?" Malerie, who's currently working as the catering waitress so she can earn some money for Spam and pot to enjoy with Billy Joe, shoves a plate filled with the yellow substance in her face.

As a response Bree starts to weep and covers her eyes with her hands. Ane and Lisa try to comfort her. (Ava's currently taking down notes on the other females' looks for authentic characterization.)

Malerie strolls away, to the next group of pathetic losers who call this boring place a Christmas party.

[Group 1]

"Excuse me? Are you talking about that guy from Fall out Boy? Pete Wentz?" A. couldn't help but overhear the vivid conversation Braily, Lola and Belle were having about Pete "Porn" Wentz.

"What's it to you?" Belle asks snappily. (Let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's on PMS, too.)

"Ach, aren't you that person I saw going through the trash cans when I came here?" Lola wrinkles her nose in disgust. And she thought Pete had a serious problem.***

A. waves a hand at her dismissively.

Braily grins at A., "Aren't you Pete's stalker girl?"

A. doesn't reply.

"I think she probably can't hear you," Lola points out.

"Yeah," Belle agrees and eyeballs A. from head to toe. "I don't think Pete would EVER make out with someone like THAT." (Bitch.)

A. gets down to business, "So, do any of you happen to have anything belonging to Pete with you? I'm selling the junk on the internet to get through college, ya know."

Belle huffs, "College... How stupid is that?"

Lola sighs sadly, "Only my heart, Pete's creepy stalker girl. Only my heart..."

"Hm," A. starts to trod away disappointedly. "Once I start selling organs on the black market I'll get back to ya. Bye for now."

[Group 2]

You can fix things, Olivia. You know that.

"More backtracking?"

No, just pick up a napkin and wipe the mess off your top.

Olivia turns around to find Malerie standing behind her, laughing her ass off at the confused woman (who thought she was talking to Them).

"Na, that's really funny. Whispering ambiguous things into my ear in a hushed voice," Olivia spits out sarcastically. Then she looks down at the spilled egg Plonk on her hoodie.

Collette shakes her head in disapproval, "That wasn't very nice, you know that?"

Malerie shrugs, holds out her plate and then leaves since no-one seems interested in another snack.

Meg changes the subject, "So, what do you think is the neater color: grey or purple?"

"Are you asking us if we'd consider doing Pete?" Collette asks back.

"How do you know?" Meg is confused.

Olivia rolls her eyes (she's still upset about that childish Malerie punk), "Everyone can see that Pete is purple and Patrick is grey. You don't have to be deaf to figure that out." Well, maybe They told her about that...

Suddenly the grand door bursts open and spills out seven (7) incredibly attractive, creative and no-life-having girls. Behold: the DoJ.

They look around in confusion.

"What's this?" Katy squeaks.

Sarah grins and starts singing,"The sights, the sounds They're everywhere and all around-/"

Emma interrupts her, "This isn't Christmas Town, silly."

"But it does look like a Christmas party," CeCe states the obvious. In order to be nice and helpful, of course.

"I told you we had to take a right but you just wouldn't listen," Crystal smacks Kyle on the arm. "This isn't the Fall out Boyz concert."

"Put a sock in it, Crystal. I can see that for myself. Back into the cars everyone!" Kyle motions for them to leave.

Alex stops and stares at A. for a moment, "Wow. That girl's got the most amazingly beautiful straight hair I've ever seen in my life..."

Then she's pulled outside by Katy. She can never get enough of touching Alex.

~Three hours later. A. and Malerie are the only ones left in the ballroom.~

"Ewww," Malerie points at the three puddles of vomit that Lisa, Ava and Bree have left behind. "I don't see why I should clean that up."

"Well, I'm gonna help you if you give me something from Pete Wentz that I could sell on Ebay," A. offers.

"That I don't... but I have a curl from Joe," Malerie holds out a strand of hair to Alex. "I ripped it out because he was trying to give me some relationship advice. And pretending to be some dude from Starwars."

A. furrows her brow.

"Ah, Joe? Joseph Trohman?" Malerie tries to point out the possible value of the lock of hair. "He's in Pete's band."

A. shakes her head, "Never heard the name before, sorry. I guess you're on your own then." She points at the vomit and leaves.

"That better be the best Spam and pot I've ever had...," Malerie mumbles angrily and starts cleaning up.


* Spelling your username is a pain in the butt, dude. ;)

** I especially wish to distance myself from A. and Alex.

* Made in Taiwan. Taiwan, Florida.

** Excuse her bad temper. She's kinda pissed because her character development is not necessarily one of the fastest. (No, no... don't update, Crystal. I'm looking forward to using Belle in the next original character gathering again. ;) )

*** Makes for some plonking originality, actually. :)

** Ah... burn? ;)

*** Well, since A. IS Pete's problem she's still correct about that.
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